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BN Hot Topic: How Far Would You Go To Keep Your Man?

Glory Edozien

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Men are hard to find, a good man…even harder. At least that’s what we women have been made to believe over the years. As soon as you find that man who ticks most or all of your boxes, you got to keep that dude on lock down or risk him being snatched from under your finely manicured finger nails. Plus we women pour out a lot into our significant others, we build them up when the world try’s to take them apart, we make sure we create enough stability at home so they have the confidence to stand tall among their peers and we try our hardest to help him dust off those bad habits. Eventually, we turn him into the man of our dreams, or at least we try to. Therefore you can imagine that the thought of another women walking away with our trophy man, after we’ve spent years painstakingly building him up, is a bit too much for most women to bear.

Perhaps, this is what US First Lady, Michelle Obama was thinking recently. In April, the National Enquirer alleged in that Mrs Obama had banned both actresses Scarlett Johansson and Kerry Washington from the White House because they were ‘too flirty’ with the President. The tabloid also suggested that the First Lady has a ‘watch list’ of women that were to be kept away from her 50-year-old tall, dark and handsome husband.

Naturally, the White House has dismissed these claims as ‘completely false’ but can you blame her if it was true? Who would want to go down in the history books as being the first African American 1st Lady to have a Monica Lewinsky episode…or to have her husband stolen from her right there in the White House….err no thank you!

Mrs Obama and the validity of these rumors, aside, I’ve heard of many women who have gone to great lengths to keep women away from their husbands. Different strategies, from threatening suspected women to even having them beat up. I remember a while ago a friend of mine got slapped at a party by her colleague’s wife. The wife, who was 5months pregnant, at the time, had seen a picture of my friend hugging her husband and feared the worst. Her plan had been to threaten my friend with some harsh words but things turned ugly when my friend tried to walk away, Madame pulled her back by her hair and gave her a good smack across the face. Off course, it was left to me and a few other friends to tear both women apart, as the man in contention had suddenly disappeared.

Although I can’t completely vouch for my friend, I do wonder if the wife’s slapping actions were entirely appropriate. Many have argued that if a man wants to stay with you, he will. If he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter how many women you slap, threaten or beat up, he’ll still get up one day and not come back. Plus, if any woman feels the need to ban, beat or provide any kind of embargo within her relationship, perhaps that suggests that there might be other issues she needs to deal with first? Or am I approaching this from the wrong angle? Do men need protecting? Do we as their girlfriends/wives have the responsibility to protect them from other women? If that’s the case, how far will you go to keep your man?

Let’s share!

Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com/photo_5052357_concept-professional-man-chained-to-the-desk.html

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

146 Comments

  1. Nollywood REinvented

    May 17, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    What is yours is yours and doing anything else is doing too much? It’s not attractive… you might as well be voluntarily pushing him away

    • Gimmer

      May 17, 2012 at 3:29 pm

      not always true…some men need that ankle-bracelet treatment to act right

  2. Boo

    May 17, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    I still don’t understand approaching the other woman. Lets face it, it is your man that broke your trust, stop being a punk and face him square on….unless the other woman is a supposed friend then you can go off on both of them.

    Sha if you aren’t married, i doubt it’s worth the enrgy. walk away with your dignity intact.

    • Pendo

      May 17, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      sometimes the other woman may not be aware that he is taken some approach her not to fight but to make her aware he is taken…..but its true a man who acts like he doesn’t give a damn about you probably doesn’t i would walk away no man is worth it….

    • Bobo toh badt

      May 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm

      my darling pendo it shouldnt be your job to let another woman know your man is taken, it should be his, after all you are not with him 24/7.Any man who wants to be faithful will let a lady know he is taken once he feels she is getting too close for his comfort. 🙂

  3. victoria ogolime

    May 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    I agree wit u that any man who wants to stray will definitely stray..beating, slapping,banning-all these will not stop men from being unfaithful…I can only do my best as a woman then pray and hope for the best…
    ##First##

    • angelray

      June 20, 2012 at 9:47 am

      True talk Victoria, no man is worth the stress andladies should know that no man is worth ding for.

  4. Layor

    May 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    I still think no man will leave any woman not worth staying with, if your man feels the need to look elsewhere…check yourself…if u think you’re clean, its up to you two to sort it out….(although some men too ehn *lips sealed*)

    • Gimmer

      May 17, 2012 at 3:36 pm

      not always true either…history has accurately dcoumented, (but never rationalized why) how men ignore the wife, and go for the wrapper tying housegirl or neighbor’s babysitter. Ngozi okonjo iweala went for an auxillary nurse young enough to be his daughter…so going by your theory, its ngozi’s fault? nah…some of these men need draconian style survellance. the man you described – the one who will stay cos you aere worth it- does not exist. unless you meant to say he will “come back to you” after gallivanting around town. and to me, that’s just a different class of low

    • Tiki

      May 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm

      I’m sorry…isn’t Ngozi a woman?

  5. T.S.

    May 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    I can’t believe this article is quoting the National Enquirer as a source. If you are seeking good information, the National Enquirer should be the last place to turn to.

    http://www.titisule.wordpress.com

  6. Doll

    May 17, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    what will happen, will happen.

  7. Myne Whitman

    May 17, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    A man that wants to cheat can’t possibly be stopped by a woman. Relax peeps!

    • Tim

      May 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm

      You are right , a man who loves his wife will never go behind her back common most Nigeria men only have sex, they a lot meaning to love making than having sex .

  8. Nike

    May 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Love this article!!!! However, fighting over a man is extremely tacky and classless. You cant hold on to someone who has already decided to leave. Just sit back and ask God to let His will be done. The best option for you will reveal itself in the long run, and this advice goes especially for wives.

  9. dominique

    May 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    You protect the relationship u don’t boss the man and chase women away.Isn’t that even stressful?SMH

  10. LPS

    May 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Oya let the comment begin! brb to read.
    http://personalstuvs.blogspot.com

  11. Tolulops

    May 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    It’s kinda like insurance……protecting ur assets. Prevention is better than cure!

  12. madman

    May 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Glory, I love your writings. I follow you on facebook but you are yet to follow back . My I will say this: many Nigerian women are crazy when it comes to MEN because the Nigerian culture and society values MEN and marriage. Thats why there are so many stories of men beating women and the woman still stays….. or the man gives her an STD and the woman still stays, or the man pours acid on his wife and the woman still cries to be with her only one and shining Armour….. whether or not you are happy, if you are not married within the Nigerian culture/context, you are USELESS. It the message passed on to many women since were born. Fight for your MAN. I mean how can a pregnant woman be fighting? Isn’t her health more important than the man? What if your friend was a thug and pushed her until she lost the baby or worst of all stabbed her? I don’t blame her, its the culture.

    • onpoint

      May 26, 2012 at 12:01 am

      since wen did fbk get follow up?

    • Joey

      June 7, 2012 at 5:27 pm

      roftlmaooooooooo

  13. i no send

    May 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    i dont subscribe to violence but believe me you have to as a woman use your female wiles to keep your good man. i believe the obama story also beautiful beyonce had to ask her bodyguards to escort a flirty vixen that was making a play for jay z out of the nightclub(owns by Jayz)so you need to be wise or else someone will take your guy..i would do the same in a heartbeat..good men are scarce biko

    • Real

      May 17, 2012 at 3:19 pm

      You’ll believe anything won’t you?? So you think bodyguards are going to keep Jayz from fooling around???? Na today he start??

    • fairangel

      May 17, 2012 at 6:52 pm

      True talk Real. Abi na today yansh dey back?

  14. Jayne

    May 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    A man cant be kept by fighting or threatening other women. It fuels his lustful desires instead.

  15. madman

    May 17, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    Not long ago my 32 yrs female friend, her mother was pressuring her to be married to an impotent man because she is too old to be single. Who cares if he is impotent, he mother said, go find a husband. quite sad.

    I mean **twitter**

  16. Real

    May 17, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    You’ll believe anything won’t you?? So you think bodyguards are going to keep Jayz from fooling around???? Na today he start????

  17. Purpleicious Babe

    May 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Lol… she dashed her one ugly slap across the face too funny.

    Anyhoo, I dont think I care about protecting any man jor. It should be the other way round, the dude should be protecting me in all forms jare.lol.

    On a much serious note, am not the jealous type and I cant be bothered to try to shoooo off women off my man’s like bees. I also do not think its about building the man up, it about building our relationship and investing in each other. I have always said I REFUSE to give “the best of me to somebody that is not willing to give the best of themselves to me”. In essence, the BEST includes your faithfulness, honesty, integrity, commitment, acceptance, generosity, respect and loads more. You cannot access those top qualities from me if you aint willing to give it.

    Besides, I cant be bothered with certain MINDSETS.

    http://lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

    • oge

      May 17, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      Thumbs up babe! u really spoke my mind,no man is worth going tru dat kind of stress!as my mum would always say:if u love smthing,allow it to fly,if it comes back,its urs,if it dosnt,it was never urs.*smh* at some women!

    • Tosin

      May 18, 2012 at 2:48 am

      That’s my thing too…sometimes loving means leaving. I don’t really have the possessive gene, really, you don’t ‘own’ anybody, not even your children, who are born with minds of their own. Women are trying sha, all this hustle to hold men to the home. I would have failed, happily.

    • Black Beauty

      May 17, 2012 at 11:49 pm

      Just a pointer…by investing in each other you are “building each other up”. The mistake we make is that we are so concerned about relationships, what’s in it for us, where it is leading, and all that. We for get that the “people” make up the “relationship”. Build each other up, influence each other positively, then your relationship will be better off.

    • Bibi

      May 18, 2012 at 7:24 am

      How come there is no like button? I love the part where you said he should be the one protecting me …

  18. Gidi

    May 17, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I was enjoying the article until i got to the National Enquirer reference. The rest of the article sounded like a joke from that point.

  19. mayowa

    May 17, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    interesting. Would like to read more real-life cases here…..

  20. doll

    May 17, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    who is posting as me?

  21. annie

    May 17, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    Well sometimes the fear of madam scares some guys n they just choose to respect themselves but invariably a guy bent on cheating will cheat no matter wat u do , but those who cheat by chance will retrace their steps quickly…. #justmythinking#

  22. shade

    May 17, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    I was at a party with my ‘friend’ and I gave her my baby to hold cos I wanted to go and ease myself. By d time I came back, there was some otherr lady there who she hadn’t seen in a long time and she was telling the lady that my husband and baby were has, I was like what? And she was trying to make me play along! Of course I didn’t find the joke funny and I told her friend (who didn’t know me of course) that she was lying. The annoying thing was she got upset cos I refused to play along. Well I told her I didn’t find that kind of joke funny and I won’t ever be leaving her alone with my baby and husband again. Needless to say we aren’t close anymore and that’s just fine with me

    • Purpleicious Babe

      May 17, 2012 at 9:35 pm

      lool… for real?? well well u did well letting her know the truth.. it aint cool, not only that u aint cool with it..

  23. Sim

    May 17, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Glorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxox
    Missed ya, missed ya, missed ya!!!!!!!!!!!
    #okbye

  24. Blackknight

    May 17, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    It’s only when the man is rich and famous that you see women fighting direct or indirectly to keep him. If the guy is just a poor struggling man seeking for better opportunities, would the ladies care? Hell No! Well, the answer is economics – Women fight to protect their investments as no other investment out there would pay enough dividends in their lives.

    • Amebo

      May 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

      fantastic comment

    • elflaco

      May 19, 2012 at 6:42 am

      I completely agree with you ….

    • adelegirl

      May 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      No. I don’t think this is entirely true. Women in all classes of society have been known to fight for their men, whether they live in ‘face me I face you’ or a mansion it doesn’t matter. There just seems to be a natural instinct in most women to fight for their man. I have seen and heard stories about women in some of the lowest rungs of society fighting over their bricklayer or labourer husband or boyfriend.

      The dignified thing is not to fight for your man but most people who are honest will admit that, it is easier said than done. Even if you don’t physically fight the other woman, you find yourself resenting her more than the man who is in fact, the real culprit. The other woman has no allegiance to you but your man should and in the case of marriage he has sworn his allegiance to you and vice versa.

  25. Merciful

    May 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    hmmmmmm my close friend is in this Dilemma right now, she wants to Unleash the “Gates of Hell” to protect n secure her guy! Guy in question is not even worth it, already beating her be4 marriage, over protective, jealous and hot tempered! in it all d gal like m like dat.

    • Gidi

      May 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

      Your friend needs psychiatric help. I will beat my sister if i find out she stayed with a man who beats her. I can forgive any other sin but beat a woman? Captial No.

  26. QueenofEverything

    May 17, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    …and cue “ring the alarm – by Beyonce”
    it depends on the man – if I have invested a lot into that man and relationship be sure I will fight to keep him.
    Having said that, I will not engage in any physical fight or anything that will compromise my integrity. At the end of the day I have my pride to uphold. If the Lord wills it, what will be will be.

  27. QueenofEverything

    May 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Btw, good to read Glory again, it has been a while.

  28. Bobo toh badt

    May 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Glory i am glad you asked those last questions. I have a problem with women who attack other women, when in reality if their man didnt give these girls the time of day nothing would happen. I tell all the girls that i date that if they dont trust me enough to give me the benefit of a doubt when it comes to such rumors of cheating, then they are not worth my time. I believe loyalty,friendship and trust is worth more than love, thats just my opinion. Some women had under the illusion of being confident about themselves and their relationship when in all honesty, they become jealous monsters once they see their men around women,especially ones more beautiful than them. I feel that if women think they have to protect and guard their men like that, then they have trust issues. I try my best not to get angry when other men try to toast my girl, because i know and i trust she would keep the conversation cordial with those men, because i trust her judgment. You women have this thing called “gut feeling,” that thing na the reason most women have trust problem. The devil dey use you people’s gut feelings they deceive you that ur man dey double dip. When a man has main meal, there is no need for appetizers. yes some of you women can be trifling in trying to seduce another woman’s man, but i will tell you women to trust your man. Many women will boast they are confident and trust their men, but the truth is without friendship, loyalty and trust, your man will leave if he sees something better, the love words dont mean nothing, if you can not prove it by trusting and being loyal.

    • brittany

      May 17, 2012 at 5:17 pm

      NA SO!!

  29. Couture By Makioba

    May 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    How far? i wouldnt go any far…. if i catch you pants down wit my husband…i’ll still not going to leave him for dat..so if you say that is far, then ‘that is how far i can go for my husband…..

  30. Jacob ati Esau

    May 17, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    I feel that women unlike men cause their own problem. You girls let your mind run wild most of the time. 1st i have seen how disloyal women can be towards eachother unlike men. Women will backstab eachother in a heartbeat and sleep with their friend’s man. Most men wouldnt dear try to screw their paddy’s women, even if they do, they would tell their guy, but its rare. I feel that you women see yourselves in other women, i mean you see the worst thing about yourself,things you are capable of doing in other women,therefore you try to “protect” your man. I have a lot of female friends that are sometimes closer to me than my sisters. When ever am dating a new girl i usually introduce her to most of my female friends, so that she would not feel threatened by my relationship with them. But I still feel you women can push your man into cheating especially if he wasn’t or hasn’t ever thought of it through your over protective attitude and sometimes your false accusations. Insecurity is also a big problem with you women. I thing that no matter what you do, that if a man wants to cheat he will find a way. I am naturally a flirt, but i have never cheated on my girl, but when some women misconstrue my intent, I let them know that am taken but not married-lol, but yea i caution them. So ladies if you feel you have to protect your man from other women, then newsflash, you never truly had him completely. And also you have a personal issue that has nothing to do with him. Go find a pastor to pray for you.

  31. brittany

    May 17, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I feel relationships are like soap…u hold it too tight they slowly slip away…u hold it too lose, it falls …u just have to eke it right…unfortunately we are in a society where men’s infidelity is glorified..and some women would also chase other people’s men..well, if and when u choose to get married, it is essential for a man to love u..However, make sure u love a man who is GOD FEARING (note that going to church and reading the Bible are different from being GOD FEARING). Marriage is such a beautiful arrangement by God..find the man who serves the true GOD and who loves God more than you then that way he would respect that wonderful institution and do whatever it takes to preserve it..
    I definitely disagree about the notion that whatever is yours is yours…NO!!! life in this world is about taking risks…u have to find the one who is worth it…and if he/she does mess up, well u have to learn to move on..Satan was once an angel (PERFECT creature) anyway..but don’t expect fairy tales we all make mistakes and stumble in words and deed..each person has imerfecrtions they are struggling against…maybe your man’s own is looking at women or whatever…but be willing to help him and pray for him thats if he is willing to change to..
    THIS IS MY OPINION..

    • Uche

      May 31, 2012 at 8:44 pm

      “Marriage is such a beautiful arrangement by God..find the man who serves the true GOD and who loves God more than you then that way he would respect that wonderful institution and do whatever it takes to preserve it..”

      GBAM! I keep saying this. There are certain things a man will not do because of the fear of God in him. Even if he does, if he is a true believer he will feel remorse for his actions. When a man is an unbeliever, he practically has no sense of morality IMO anyway…

  32. Tim

    May 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    You women should know that most men in Nigeria are not loyal to their wives because most marriages are not based on true love , many wants to get married simply because they are getting old, wants to have kids, a lot marriage are based on family relationship or business relationship between two family or because he or she belongs to certain family. Nigerian women are always the victim of domestic violent because the law or the society has no respect for females. Our women are less loved and less appreciated by male counterpart. Stupid egoistic men.

  33. hmmm

    May 17, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    oro po….

  34. henry

    May 17, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    @glory you women should only go as far as the kitchen and bedroom, if his stomach and body is satisfied, then you have no problem. if a man wants to stay he will, if hr doesn’t he won’t.

    • Makema

      May 18, 2012 at 2:56 am

      You’re ignorant. So how about his brain and his heart? So it’s only sex and food eh?

  35. Deee

    May 17, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Any woman who goes running after a man will only end up looking old, crazy and haggard. At the end of it the man will go around telling people its because his wife is a loony and guess what everyone will be sympathetic. If you have a heart attack because of a man, I pity you!

  36. i no send

    May 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    ok now..to each his own….jennifer aniston let her bird fly ……..i rest my case hehehehe

    • Gidi

      May 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

      The bird would still have flown whether she let it or not.

  37. Kaakaki

    May 17, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    There are few faithful men in this age so if you are lucky to have one, the best you can do to keep such a man is to be faithful and show him affection and love. There are so many women out there desperately looking for a man and they are ready to go as far as offering their body to get what they want. A woman will definitely know if he has a good and faithful man, so you have to continue caring and praying for him so that he does not fall into the hands of the Jezzebel out there.

    • brittany

      May 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm

      well said!

  38. Lucy

    May 17, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Please, when will someone write about, how far a man will go to keep you. I am honestly tired of all this articles, self help books, conversations, debates, about how we women should treat a man, do this to a man, do that to a man. We have turned the men in our lives into objects we should worship and praise. Please Bella Naija, we women are specially and wonderfully created. Please give us articles talking to the men, how they should treat us. A lot of women are going through a lot of heartache, it would be nice if society is on our side for once. Lets reduce the focus on the men jare, enough is enough, no wonder their heads always swell, and they believe they are all that, and much more, they don’t even put effort anymore, it is the woman that should be doing everything. Really, give us a refreshing angle, this topic has been flogged enough.

    • chichi

      May 18, 2012 at 1:42 am

      lool..God bless you..exactly what i wanted to say..i sign into facebook and i have seen about 5 links talking about man this, man that..So annoying

    • sweetie

      May 18, 2012 at 9:51 am

      Ugh…ON POINT!!!!!

    • Gidi

      May 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

      Even as a man, i am tired of this line of thinking.

    • Naveah

      May 22, 2012 at 2:23 pm

      Lucy, na God sent you make you tok wetin you don tok so! I am waiting for a ground break book or article on HOW MEN should act to attract better women, asking men how far they would go to keep their joystick in their pants and preserve their precious relationships etc etc. It is not only women that NEED men, men NEED women as well so all these free unsolicited advise should be going both ways. Relationships and it’s perils and joys run BOTH ways.

      With reference to the article, no relationship or marriage should be akin to a prison where partners have to keep watch on each other, watch on others around and fighting to keep one another. If anyone is in a relationship and feels the need to act like a warden then the person is in the wrong relationship. Where is the trust? Where is the benefit of the doubt? And if a person gives you reason to doubt their commitment then isn’t it best to just leave the relationship rather than sticking around playing correction officer and giving oneself hypertension? NO man or woman is worth embarassing yourself in a fight for, sorry! Any man or woman causing you such grief should be put on the curb with the household trash.

      As for the wife who slapped her husband’s coworker because she saw a picture of them hugging, she didn’t meet the right one because had she met a chick like me, she would find herself in hospital and at her lawyer’s office by the time I was done whopping her behind and suing her for all that she’s worth!

    • scorpio

      July 14, 2012 at 1:25 pm

      I Couldn’t agree more with you. Spot on baby, spot on!!!

  39. Gyann

    May 17, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I always ask this one question: Don’t the women see the cheating-tendencies their men while dating or during courtship? cos really they didnt or couldnt have just woken up one morning and decided they would go cheat. It’s either its always been there and we women just ignore; believing he will change or something went wrong somewhere, the law of cause and effect..wink*

  40. Lucy

    May 17, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Thats all we women talk about. MEN. I wonder if we don’t have any interesting things to talk about MEN, MEN MEN shaaaaaaaa. To this and this to attract a man, be so so and so, to keep a man, it doesn’t even help when we become mothers, we treat our sons like sacred cows, who are above and beyond reproach, and we wonder why a man can get away with anything in the african context. Cheat, drink himself to stupor, be abusive, deny his paternal rights, refuse to take care of his family, and he gets away with it, while the woman suffers. We have raised generations of egocentric men, who believe and act like women are beneath them, and they are the be all and end all of our lives. BN, you have blazed the trail in terms of the content of your blog. I will start respecting you more, when I see articles, about How to keep a good woman, How to be a good boyfriend or husband to a career woman, How to support your woman, and encourage her to be the best, How to make your woman happy, How to cope with a woman during PMS, How to handle the Venus aspect of female antics, How to be faithful to a woman, How to understand women, How to watch all the tv shows and chick flicks we women enjoy, How to be the kind of man that allows your woman to grow. SO that these men sef can learn a few things or two. I volunteer to send in articles, for FREE, if you don’t mind.

    • ANGEL

      May 18, 2012 at 1:15 am

      LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

    • Person pikin

      May 18, 2012 at 7:22 am

      Thank you!

    • Kgomotso

      May 18, 2012 at 9:03 am

      Thank you, well spoken words, i’m tired of all this talk that insinuates that its a woman’s job to uphold a relationship and keep it going, if that is the case, what do i need a man for, cause clearly all it takes is me to have a successful relationship, so i might as well be in a relationship with myself

  41. clairebaby

    May 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Glory, I’ve missed u and ur down to earth articles! Welcome back!
    I’m too proud to chase a man around, and I think its beneath me to chase the women he’s chasing. If I find out my man is cheating, he’s the one I wld contend with , not the woman, because he has a free will and he chose to be with her.
    The only time I would attack such a woman (not physically ofcourse) is if she comes into my home or has contact with my kids, for example, beyonce in ‘obsessed’ had every right to deal with the woman who wanted to break up her family, plus she had the support of her husband.
    I believe the best thing we women cld do is to try and satisfy all our men’s needs to the best of our ability, be there for him and pray for him.
    Everything else is in his own hands, Chikena!!!

  42. Janded

    May 17, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    I will not and cannot be bothered with trying to keep a man who wants to go astray. that is is mother’s job. No man is worth it.

  43. coco

    May 17, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    @ Dee :lmao…

  44. NNENNE

    May 18, 2012 at 12:50 am

    Why should I, the woman be the one fighting over you, the man.The relationship should be such that both of us are benefiting from it. I do not believe the man is doing me any favor by staying faithful. I will not waste my precious time running all over him.
    What will be ,will be. The other woman will find out that all that glitters is not gold.Often times the grass is greener on the other side. They do not know what “Madam”does to make things look the way they do.
    The answer to this is, be independent, ladies!

  45. nich

    May 18, 2012 at 12:51 am

    1..be humble to the man…make him feel that he is in charge
    2. find out his sexual fantasies and fufill as much as u can
    3. look for somebody who will teach you how to cook real and nice mean
    take ur shower twice a day and keep ur cloths neat,….put some perfume b4 u sleep…
    4. improve on ur sexual skills….

    • Lucy

      May 18, 2012 at 11:34 am

      you must be living in la la land, I swear. If you like do all that, and much more. A man who will cheat will cheat. Why do we hold the men above reproach, why can’t he too make the effort to stay faithful. We girls have to remove the mentality that his cheating is directly related to what you do and don’t do.

    • vivi

      June 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

      lol Lucy, Nich is just another egocentric Nigerian man !

    • MOI

      May 18, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      if we check it now, u ave used kop nomi for ur husband/bf, and ur telling us to train as a sex gladiator. hisssees

  46. faith

    May 18, 2012 at 7:43 am

    A guy dat doesn’t like U̶̲̥̅̊, cheats on U̶̲̥̅̊.♍γ̲̣̣̥ husband doesn’t cheat on me but he ȋ̊§ so egocentric. Before getting married I was dated a guy date cheats but he was so nice n cearing n understanding…which one ȋ̊§ beter?

  47. faith

    May 18, 2012 at 8:02 am

    A guy dat doesn’t like U̶̲̥̅̊, cheats on U̶̲̥̅̊.♍γ̲̣̣̥ husband doesn’t cheat on me but he ȋ̊§ so egocentric. Before getting married I dated a guy D̶̲̥̅̊α† cheats but he was so nice n cearing n understanding…which one ȋ̊§ beter?

  48. faith

    May 18, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Caring I mean.

  49. Triangle

    May 18, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Most women will come here and say one thing while they do the exact opposite. I won’t pretend, i have done it before. And i’ll still do it again. My bf of 6yrs now during our 3rd yr together suddenly had a thing for dis chic. I got her number and raked for her, sent her messages and insulted her. What made it more annoying was dt my bf told her about me, but she still refused ti give up. The most important thing is i got my man back, and he worships d feet i walk on. Whenever we r gisting and stuff abt her come up, he’ll tell me he’s so grateful i fought for him back then. He always wonders what came over him then!
    You guys may not believe it, but it has actually made us stronger. When i tell my girlfirnds they are like hell no, they cant take dt from any man, 3yrs since we left Uni most of them are still single and not in any serious rships. Me i hv a man i’m abt to walk down d altar with. He clearly was infatuated wit d oda chic, and if i had just left him, he wud hv eventually broken up wit her, and both of us wud hv lost out.
    Abegi, there’s no hard and fast rule to these things. Now dt we’ve struggled six yrs together and he’s got a job and a little cash chics want to come and reap where they didnt sow, if i catch you! taa
    Anyway what he does now is dt whenever he notices a chic paying him unnecessary attention and about to “chuk” head, he statrts using my pix as his BBM dp, he tells me to come over and visit till d oda chic gets d message. I can’t dull o! hehe

    • Gidi

      May 18, 2012 at 10:52 am

      Pls tell me this was a joke.

    • Lucy

      May 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

      Sweetheart, you can’t say you have been successful until you’ve been married for 30years. You’ve dated the guy for 6years, is nothing. Marriage is a whole new dimension all together. I wish you all the best, but until you guys are married before you can really test a man’s fidelity. A lot of men who didn’t cheat as single men, cheat when they are married. So, you going all gangster on any woman you see around your man will just give you high blood pressure. If he doesn’t know that it is is duty to be faithful to you, nothing you fit do o. It is only by His Grace, but to think you are action lady is the secret to keeping your man faithful. My dear, you have another thing coming. He’ll just be more discreet about it next time. Lol

    • Triangle

      May 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm

      Eya. And how long have u dated urs or been married to urs? Abeg u guys shud 4get that thing. Since we’ve all agreed dt most of them cheat, why not go all gangster on the other woman. Shebi hillary shud hv left clinton abi? And u wonder why so many women are still single or divorced. My dear that’s ur own cup of garri

    • Lucy

      May 18, 2012 at 12:29 pm

      Hilary didn’t leave Clinton to keep the marriage. She did that for her political career. She won’t have been where she is now if she had divorced Clinton. She just bided her time because of her ambition. She is a more powerful candidate as Mrs Clinton, the scorned woman, and she can also use her husband’s connections in the Democrat party, to move ahead. She didn’t stay with her husband out of love or to keep the marriage. Please be real

    • elflaco

      May 20, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      Lucy let’s c u do 6 yrs of marriage now … With the way the world is now … 3 yrs of marriage is successful and pls don’t start with your bashing of men especially naija men, it’s not like our gals are any better … They even out do the guys in cheating sef

    • Lucy

      May 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm

      So, Triangle, so you still think that it is up to you to go all gangster to keep the man. So you are absolving the man of all responsibility. It is women like you that are still perpetuating the myth that men think they are the all and end all, and they don’t have to work at a relationship, when the woman is there going all gangster on other women. He should work to protect your relationship, to keep your marriage. It is a two way street. You are both going to take vows, both of you, to love and to cherish, to deny all others and be faithful. If you still think that to go gangster on other women, is the answer, mehn, no man is worth that trouble. If he can’t cherish what you two have and protect it with every fibre of his being. It is what you two have, that should be the greatest guard against temptation, for him. He shouldn’t want to lose that. Enough women that go gangster and the man still cheats. Like I said, he’ll just be more discreet next time.

    • Tosin

      May 19, 2012 at 6:01 am

      You have a man! As in he is yours and yours only! And he has some money too. Baby, your name will go down in history. Like Alexander the Great, like Gandhi, like Barack Obama. Seriously, why are women so focused on valueless trash? Na curse?

  50. Duchess

    May 18, 2012 at 9:52 am

    errrmmm…..slapped the babe cos she saw her husband and the babe in a pic? no bi say she catch dem for bed…na wa o….women tend to let their minds run wild…If you dont trust your man in honoring his marriage vows to you then you both need counselling(how can you marry him if you didnt trust him?) if u are dating a guy n u get all suspicious abt every move he makes n every girl u see him with then you’v got ISSUES….it is not a wife’s duty or girlfriend’s duty to let other girls know their man is taken(u might as well tie a placard across his dick “KEEP OFF” wat a waste of energy n time!)…a man that will stray, will stray, regardless of how many women you beat up or threaten

  51. efe

    May 18, 2012 at 10:03 am

    @ brittany, beautiful opinion.People do not know what marriage is all about.You have to relate it with CHRIST and the church.Is he or she ready to give up her/his for the other,that is what CHRIST did for us all that we be reconciled to God our father.God will HELP us all

  52. i no send

    May 18, 2012 at 10:40 am

    yes @ triangle….most of the commentators here are actually speaking theories but in practice they do the opposite simply because when your emotions are involved you aren’t always in control

    • Triangle

      May 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm

      Gbam! Help me tell them.

    • Naveah

      May 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm

      Abeg, speak for yourself! I love my husband of two years, we’ve been together for three and I told him from day one, if you act up, I will bury my face in the pillow and cry well well then I will wash my face and wash you away! I will strike my hand on my heart and do what I have to do because I know the woman that I am and what I offer and if you don’t see it then it ain’t meant for you. I will harden my heart and protect myself. I am not fight ANY woman over no man because if that’s what he wants, he should feel free to go. Sey who born am? PLEASE!

  53. Kola S

    May 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

    “Eventually, we turn him into the man of our dreams, or at least we try to.”

    Probably one of the major reasons why potentially good relationships fail. Songs like “Don’t Make Me Over” by Dionne Warwick or the even harsher “Criticize” by Alexander O’neill come to mind.

  54. honeymix

    May 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

    dis world has rily made us believe its A MAN’S WORLD.and am rily sick and tired of it.just yday,was supposed 2 get an msc form for a friend and she asked her hubby abt it, all 4 her hubby 2 tell her she sud not get it dat she dint seem obssessed with her family instead she is wif her career and dis is a lady who almost worships her hubby.i guess am tired of trying 2 kip my man,its also his duty 2 also try 2 kip me.

  55. Zsa zsa

    May 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    NA wa o. These comments about fighting for your man or “going gangster” really disappoints me. I walked away from a relationship because of this crappy belief. My ex wanted me to treat him like a prince cos”my mother raised me to believe i should be treated like a prince” meanwhile I was being treated like shit! He always complained about everything I did or did not do, I got shit like “u don’t compliment me, u don’t check my phone to see if I’ve been talking to other girls ” or “do u know how many other chicks are lining up to be with me?”. Mind you I financially supported this guy from time to time, did all I knew how to do but the complaints never ended. Everything was a test! Long story short, fortunately I am now married to a man who understands marriage is a two way street, we both took vows and he respects and adores me. Men are not prizes to be won, they are men and we should treat them as such. Men should be able to control themselves and PROTECT what is theirs including their family. Pls ladies lets not out of desperation make fools of ourselves. Granted, some men like to be fought for because that is what they have been made to believe so if that floats ur boat then great! I have a daughter and I hope to raise her to be a strong and confident woman, I do hope to have son so I can raise him to value and respect himself and the women in general. My mother in law has 9 children and I’m married to the youngest. She spent her youth fighting for her man, her mans property, her mans this and that…and now? She is terribly Ill and a shadow of who she used to be. Her man is bouncing around healthy as a horse. Fighting for a man … So not worth it don’t marry him if u can’t trust him simple!

    • Lucy

      May 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

      Zsa zsa, thank you o. U tied it up beautifully. I hope you read my two previous comments. I was raised to be strong and confident, and my brother was raised to treat a woman like the queen that she is. My mum always said fidelity isn’t just to a wife or even your husband, but to your family, and I hope to pass that on to my daughter, and my son too. Most nigerian men don’t get that, and why should they when there are either two camps of women. Camp 1 is to sit back and accept all the rubbish he dishes out, all in the name of keeping the man. Camp 2, is to be prepared to go gangster on any other woman to keep him. Bell Naija, I am repeating again o. We want articles to help teach our men a thing or two on How to keep a woman, How to protect your family etc.

  56. wemimo

    May 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    na man ish una carry for head like dis? mtchew…men will always be men..y will i fight d bitch dat screws mi man? na d guy head i go break with sledge hammer..

  57. Mr.Right aka agbowokariowona

    May 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    You ladies talk about us men protecting our families, well the truth is some men do. Yes there are some slutty men out there,dipping there sticks into any whole, and there are men who value that woman God has blessed him with all he has.truthfully you women are the author of your own destruction and unhappiness. For example one of my guys got married last january, high society bash and all, and now since april their marriage have been in rocks, why?, because she brought he insecurities into the marriage. The man she married left another woman to marry her, and he has been faithful to her, gives her everything she wants to providing for her extended family, but when ever a little argument starts up about little things, she flares up accusing him of wanting to go back to his ex, and my friend is getting tired of the accusation, because he is one of those good men. She recently packed out of their new home, because she wants him to do a blood oath that he would never talk to his ex or her family ( who have been his family friends since child hood and his benefactors) again, and my friend refused. Some of you women let yourselves destroy your own homes. So @lucy I understand you want articles written about how you women should be treated, but like i tell my sisters, it is up to you to show your man how to treat you. Most women don’t understand that they own the key to their own happiness and sadness. I feel that some women push their faithful husbands into infidelity. Also some of you women have gotten this stupid idea that you are of equal footing with your husbands, when in reality especially african tradition that ish dont flow. WOMEN you are to be SUBMISSIVE to your HUSBAND col 3:18. Every holy book says it. You women are suppose to be like treasures, like your husbands shadow. Most of you african women forget your culture and tradition and keep trying to force European and western culture on us African men. Our cultures teaches us to cherish and protect our women, but that woman must also respect and honor her husband.

    • Lucy

      May 18, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      Abeg go sitddon. Half of what you typed wasn’t coherent. I had to read and re read again before I could understand. You men are never wrong o, all the time it is the woman who has the problem, that will now cause the man to go wrong. Absolving the man of most of the guilt. Well done. It is up to the woman to show the man how to treat her, he shouldn’t make the effort to find out himself jare. The woman should do all the hard work for him, he just sits down and waits for her to show him. What an easy life a man has. It is a TWO PARTY RELATIONSHIP, Uncle Mr Right. You brought one example of your friend, and as far as you are concerned, that is the yardstick to judge every woman. You can submit to your husband without being his footstool. So please don’t quote the Bible here to support your claim. Funny how Christians don’t 100% obey the bible, but when it is support an argument, they suddenly become pastors and start quoting. SO your wife should be your shadow, and have no mind of her own. Thank you. Typical Nigerian man. African culture teaches us to cherish and respect women, abeg don’t make me laugh. I really can see where our African culture has taken us to, the most unprogressive continent in the entire world. That should tell you something. Sit down in your backyard and keep hanging on to your culture and tradition. The world isn’t flat uncle, it is round. LOL

    • Nkemdaisy

      May 18, 2012 at 10:30 pm

      Bla, Bla Bla, Bla, Bla…… insecurity ko, submissive ni… who wan cheat go cheat! its all in the mind set.

  58. i no send

    May 18, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    mr right your point being????

  59. smirf

    May 19, 2012 at 3:12 am

    it takes 2 to make a relationship work, why should she be fighting for him when evidently he cant be bothered to fight for her and the relationship. its not her job to let the other woman know he has a babe its his. trust is earned not just given you have to show that you are trust worthy and have the ability not to put your self in dangerous positions. but fighting another woman over a man is just plan wrong

  60. NNENNE

    May 19, 2012 at 3:43 am

    @ Mr. Right aka agbowo….. Nice to read your bible quotations but the reference is incomplete.
    This bible was written by Europeans not Africans right?
    The same bible asks men to love their wives as Christ loved his church.Christ even gave his life for it right? The same bible also tells a man to leave his family and cling to his wife, meaning his wife should come first before anybody and anything.
    Yes, women should respect their husbands.Respect should be two ways.If I am faithful to you,it is only fair that you should return the favor.
    Woman was not made from a man’s head to top him, nor from his feet to be trodden upon.Rather, she was made from a rib out his chest, close to his heart to loved and cherished by him,

  61. NNENNE

    May 19, 2012 at 4:47 am

    …. A woman was made from a rib out of a man’s chest to walk side by side with him, close to his heart to be loved and be protected by him. ( From a Jewish religious book).

  62. IMA

    May 19, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    @lucy….ive been reading your comments and i must commend you alot for speaking my true mind….cant say much here but youre so on point…mmmwwwuuuaaahh!

  63. Woman

    May 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Lucy wa gbayi jooor, u make sense pass. I recently started talking to this guy but as friends but i guess thats how it starts sha cuz now i like him and cant stop thinking about him but i hate myself for falling for him cuz i hate love and am so sick of heartbreaks and dissapointments. We tx alot but sometimes he doesnt tx me back so i stopped txing and making anymore effort cuz i had to tell myself a guy that likes you and wants you will make more effort so am sitting on my hands and reading a book when am lonely cuz desperation aint my thing.

    • kech

      May 21, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      Woman i had the same experience you are talking about. This guy, a banker took my number from the teller and we got talking from there, at some point i noticed i was doing more of the calling and texting so i stopped. Some of my friends believe if i had continued calling and not given up so easily,we might still be dating or even married now, but am not the fighting type, i believe if a man loves me he would make the effort just like am doing.

  64. MOOKIE

    May 21, 2012 at 2:18 am

    All this stuff is really funny! But I’m #teamlucy! Hittin sum oda gurl coz of a man is out of the question I wasn’t raised like that besides I’m too proud to do that shit! I’ll probably just walk away and he’ll come back to beg and if he doesn’t oh well life goes on

  65. Zsa zsa

    May 21, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    #team Lucy for real lol. Lucy dear it gladdens my heart to know that there are sensible Nigerian ladies like u out there. I was actually discussing this topic with my hubby over the weekend. We both agreed that bottom line what matters is love ,RESPECT and a very solid foundation. Know and understand yourselves before running into a marriage and crying afterwards. You actually have to “like” yourselves,your intentions also matter a whole lot. Ladies,observe how ur guy treats the people around him …always an indicator of how he would treat you. Gentlemen,understand and relate with your lady on a deeper level than just the kitchen and the bedroom.you should inspire each other, when your intentions are right you won’t have time for gangsterism or fighting for equality in the relationship.

  66. bundle

    May 22, 2012 at 10:18 am

    once upon a time, my boyfriend was playing around, and the girl involved had the gall to plan with her friend to call me and tell me about it, so that i can probably get mad and leave him for her….u know what?, i did just that….she called me, what did i say? i laughed and told her…if you want him, you can have him. the little weasle was shocked, maybe she thought i would burst into tears…And funny enough when i told my boyfriend, i told him calmly with a smile on my face, and he ended up running around warning the girl, that if she ever made me to leave him, that she would pay.
    I cant fight for a man abeg, i`m married now, and it surprises my hubby that i dont waste my time sniffing around, trying to catch him being unfaithful….i`ve got better things to do with my time joor…..i am beautiful, smart and a good woman, i will not bring myself down to the other woman`s level

  67. Tbabes

    May 22, 2012 at 11:08 am

    The truth is that any man dat wants to play around would do jst dat, no matter hw many women u slap or beat up…its not ur job to shackle or chain him to ur waist, ur job as a wife/girlfriend ends with jst being urself…keep being or doing the things that attracted him to u in the first place…no man is worth getting into a fight over, wht if the other woman is more powerful than u and gets u badly beaten or injured????

  68. Naveah

    May 22, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    *ground breaking*

  69. Purpleicious Babe

    May 22, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    lol… u can tell I have no pressing priorities (i really do)but could not resist re-reading some of the comments.

    Some I want to reply but for some reason I cant. WHY: We all have different views and ideologies. I cant be bothered with some mindsets for real.

    Its a very dynamic world of views. Interesting, makes u laugh your head off what some of us come out with. Like Mr Right.lol… u are jokes.

    Anyhoo BN pls roll out more of this stuff.. me loves.

    http://lifeinstagesdoz.blogspot.co.uk/

  70. deb

    May 22, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    my own story me and d guy started way back and i really love him distance took us apart he started flirting got to his place several times to find him doing one tin or d other and cos i love him i wanted to fight for him to make him understand how much i love him as he said he was nt the 1 going after dis girls dey are coming after him but i got tired of fighting cos he was just giving the same excuses d next time i got to his place find out he still up wit d attitude i just decided am off n left him dat night he was surprised cos he was nt expecting me to act .i stop calling i stop bothering i stop caring was only looking out for myself am a beautiful n attractive girl tooo and guys can always be hanging around me too but i didnt cheat i decided to just be happy with myself wen he realized that am now just me he started calling begging wanting to come back at all cost to him cos any guy he see around me now is a treat and seriously am enjoying the pay back. the point is until you take you stand dat u wont be d only one in d relationship its either you are both in or you are good alone anybody that would not fight back for you its not worth figthing for at all wen he needs help you give him bt when he takes you for granted you leave him

  71. Dede

    May 23, 2012 at 3:03 am

    Statistically, women are cheating just as much as men these days.
    A poll taken recently in the UK (I think) found that young girls are having way more sex than young boys.
    So all these men are dogs sentiments have become more myth than reality.
    This comment is in response to the various comments expressed on here.

  72. Eni

    May 23, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    @ deb, how can you write a page without punctuation marks?
    Anyway, I would never fight another girl because of a guy. If anyone needs to be chastised, it’s the guy. If he cannot see my worth, then I’m better off without him.
    I dated this guy for 3 years and I trusted him completely. Then one day, he sent me a text that he was having a baby. I almost died. I felt like my heart had been ripped off my chest. I was depressed for months. There had been no clue or had I just been living my own fairy tale? I was confused as to whether he had cheated on me with her or cheated on her with me.
    I’m over that now, but I’ve been single since then. Why? Cos I’m having trust issues. I mentally see a girl besides every guy who ‘chats me up’. And in a bid to avoid the stress, sleepless nights and arguments that comes with such suspicion, I’d just rather be alone. I could never fight another girl. Where’s the strength? I’m not even that good in heated arguments cos I’m not much of a talker. I’m not a violent person too. I just could never ever fight another girl over a guy.

    • Papa

      May 24, 2012 at 10:20 am

      lol @ “Where’s the strength?”

  73. ANON

    May 24, 2012 at 10:30 am

    its not that serious joor, women have put themselves in that position where a man thinks that when he does certain things we break into pieces,why fight over a guy who doesn’t think u r worth it by cheating……focus your emotions into smth that might actually make you happy!!!!

  74. omel

    May 24, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    First of all, the foundation of the relationship is very important. I’m a believer of Christ Jesus, I encourage and uphold Biblical principles. The Bible states and I quote “He who finds a wife finds what is good”. The guy does the wooing. I hear so many women without shame saying they first approched their boyfriend, fiance or husband. This is just one of so many mistakes ladies make when it comes to relationships and marriage that can give a guy the effrontry and audacity to look at someone else. Back to the question. personally, i would not blame the person who is trying to be flirty with my man. My main concern goes to the man I am commited to. How does he react, what is his response to the passes that was made at him. I’m not his mother and I cannot police him around. There is nothig a girl can do to stop her man from being admired by other girls. Just do all that the Bible says you should do and leave the rest to God. A man in his riht senses will never leave you and if he eventually does, he will forever regret it for the rest of his life. Don’t fight it. It’s very important to get God involved before getting into a relationship or marriage. NB: I see no reason why an unmarried girl should have sex with someone who is not ready to stay commited till death do them part. Sounds archaic but, think about it cos the Bible DOES NOT lie. Remain blessed.

    • Uche

      May 31, 2012 at 9:22 pm

      How is it over there in the 10th century? That’s definitely where you live. Maybe not physically but certainly mentally and spiritually. What is wrong with a woman approaching a man? Sometimes, men can be overly shy even more so than women. I know friends who have done it and are still happy till this day. It is when a woman does it in a classless and slutty manner that I object. What is wrong with seeing a man you think is cute and saying a friendly “hi”? Abeg siddon somewhere jare. Reject the love of your life because she came up to you you hear?

    • Uche

      May 31, 2012 at 9:24 pm

      Oh you’re even a woman. When I saw the rubbish you wrote I didn’t even bother to read the rest. Can you blame me? I still mean everything that I wrote o. Your sex changes nothing.

  75. Iphie

    May 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Damn I need a ‘like’ button now more than ever!

  76. Iphie

    May 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    @Lucy, GBAM! Am hugging you right now!

  77. porcelain

    May 29, 2012 at 11:45 am

    am really impressed dat ladies with intergrity still exist cos the society we are in propagates inferiority of a woman to a man i do not subscribe to this school of thought. I really benefitted today from this site thanks bellanaija youj made my day

  78. Renny Vonne

    June 1, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    I would never agree to women working overtime to prevent their men from cheating or leaving. That saying to mentioned is true. If a man wants to stay, he will. However women need to cautious and they shouldn’t put the men in such situations. Don’t dare him to leave, cause he most likely will. Don’t bring him around your single, desperate, provocative-clothes wearing girlfriends. You can watch yourself, but you can never control the acts of a man.

  79. Lady D

    June 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    In my opinion, there is no point showing your jealousy…because in the event that the man is not interested, your reaction will make him think”hmmm, there must be sth in this girl that my wife/gf dsnt have that makes her so jealous” So as long as it is within your power, stay away from such “public display of affection”…lol…
    http://thoughts2wordsblog.wordpress.com/

  80. keppy

    June 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    If you are not married, he’s not worth the fight, just walk away but if you are married give it a try by treating his f**k up.

  81. Ib

    June 12, 2012 at 1:45 am

    Bella naija u see why i like Glory …131 comments and counting.Pls call her n tell her not to stop writing for you.In fact,whats her no?ill call her if u wont.Yeah!she is that good.
    A great fan of hers!

  82. hottie nj

    June 12, 2012 at 10:19 am

    it depends, sometimes we human beings need reminders of what we have. Even we women cannot say we have never gotten distracted before or it can never happen to us, it takes a man who loves u to notice u are slipping away and fight for u and vice versa, if he a good man, I ll fight to bring him back to where we once were. Not physically of course but through prayers, extra love and attention

  83. janybravo

    June 13, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    I’m totally lovin up Lucy’s comments right now,I’m so psyched to see that there are still a quite a good number of self-respecting women out there!

  84. angelray

    June 20, 2012 at 9:47 am

    True talk Victoria, no man is worth the stress and ladies should know that no man is worth dying for.

  85. zapphaire events

    June 23, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    hmmmmm

  86. v

    June 25, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    I have a friend of mine who was married for 3yrs and separated for 2yrs, recently finally got divorced. This man came up to her and immediately wanted to marry her,,,long distance relationship. Called her all the time and she fell hard for this guy, come to find out this guy was never faithful throughout the relationship, the worst of all is that he has a horrible family that will support him cos of what they are getting from him. this friend of mine went through the worst mental hell, stayed cos she loved the man but when he turned physical cos of the several women and even promised her death she ran for her dear life, today she is working hard at her education and being a good mother to her son. i look at her and feel like killing that man because she is the type of woman any man will want, how do i know this, i dated her for 4 yrs but she left me for this man cos her father for 4 yrs hated me even though he did not know me. i am married today but sad about her situation. Life can be very tricky, everyday i remember in prayers because, i know she is hurting, so women need to be very careful, if a man is cheating during courtship and u know this is ur deal breaker, please leave that man alone, if he confesses to women should be hit to obey, leave the devil alone, if he tell u how close he is with his mother, investigate if this closeness id something u can deal with because the mum might e all the woman he needs and u are simply there to have children, just evaluate a man with ur brain b4 u marry him, and think twice about bringing children into this world with worthless men. hope this story helps.

  87. judith

    June 26, 2012 at 11:54 am

    i hv a similar problem wit dat.!guys don’t worth fighty ova!

  88. moj

    June 27, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    personally i do not agree wit fighting for a man. my brother is very hansdsome 6.3tall gets so much attention from girls evryday buh i am his sis we r closer than a regular twin wld be, i always wld ask which girl do u like cos ryt now as i talk he has neva had a real gf. d way he panics nd panicked for the 2 girls i kno nd he told me he has eva really loved surprises me. dis girls in question can form heaven nd earth i kno dem personally vry respectable chick. pls babes fight aint necessary, a gd woman wld naturally reciprocate love even if its sm1 she neva loved at first. i alwais tell my bro that me i can neva fight for any man nd i alwais see d fear in his face dat ‘dis my sis is mean ooo’ her boo beta sits up nd he knws i mean it even to him i dont take his nonsense he’s alwais tryin to please me nd make me happy. women pls show some worth. biko!!! God help us all oo. my lst comment is to mothers pls watch wat u tell ur sons while growing up most mothers always tell their girls from age 2 to be dis nd dat else their husbands wont stay nd neva tell deir boys hw to keep their woman. I remember standin up to my mum from age 10 dat she’s stressing me out with all dis learn ooo learn ooo, dont say i didnt teach u if ur husband starts complainin oo nd i wld tell her to pls let me grow up nd know mysef b4 i strt learnin hw to keep anoda man nd dat she shld stressin me we fought evryday at a point i told her i wont learn anytyn cos of anybdy meanwhile my broda she neva talked to, buh trust me i alwais gave my broda d insult nd trainin he needs so he knw hw to treat his woman, today he boasts dat he knws his wife wld be d happiest woman cos he undastnds d womans psychie nd rily i trust him to be a gd husband nwys. My point basically pls train d boys to respect nd love equally as u r trainin d girls to cook nd clean nd honor.

  89. Meme

    July 6, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    I would only leave my man if he steals from me, when i say this, my friends laugh. If a man can steal my money or investments, i mean my one Naira, that means that he can kill me. But i would never leave or throw out my husband because i feel he cheats or actually cheated on me with another woman, then I would be throwing him out to the cats and dogs outside. There are so many conscienceless evil women out there who would gladly spread their arms round him, damn …not my man.
    Also to slapping or beating or whatever stupid tactic some mad women employ, the day they would meet their matches would come. who knows if the other woman is a tiger both in bed and on the streets, I would give anything to watch the other woman claw the mrs to pieces, this would teach her colleagues a lesson.

  90. Anon

    July 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Honestly, we have allowed men to act the way they do. It starts from home especially Nigerian homes, the girls are schooled to be virgins, don’t talk to boys and be this perfect angel to be a future wife and mother. But, boys are allowed to do anything, sleep with any girl they want, drink, party because they are boys. This is the reason, men have a feeling of entitlement, and very egoistic. Do as I say. They don’t own up to their bad behavior, action and try to be better because they get away with so much. My brain has had enough of how to please a man, and work around his clock. I also get tired of emphasizing on how to please a woman by taking her shopping, buying the best shoes or dress in town. Enough already, let’s focus on the bigger picture. I like men who have their own conviction. It’s like how it’s important for children to have their own conviction, strong mind, so when their parent is not around, they know right from wrong and won’t do what they are not suppose to do. And, if they do, they don’t justify it. Parent won’t be there 24/7 to tell them the right thing to do, they will have to figure it out at some point. I expect the same for any man I’m dating, will eventually marry. I’ve been with my bf for three and a half years. During our first date, I asked him, what he’s looking for in a woman, he said it. I went ahead, to let him know what I’m looking for, want in a potential husband. Often times, men say what they want, then we women try to mold ourselves into that. I made it clear, just like how you have expectation for me, I also have expectations for you. It’s 50/50. I don’t worry or stress myself too much if he’s cheating or not because I can’t stop him from doing anything, it’s his choice. When ladies flirt with my man, he handles it. I let him know, do what you expect me to do, when you see a guy who’s too friendly with me. I will fight for my man when necessary, that’s after I see his effort and so far there hasn’t been any urgent need to fight a woman because of him. Let man do the fight, demand respect and they will do it if they think the woman is worth it.

  91. Negra

    July 14, 2012 at 12:54 am

    Common man, i don’t have let alone fight for him. Dear God, please help me!

  92. Etighi dancer

    July 23, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    LMAO @ Negra.. We’re on the same page lool

  93. vicky

    October 30, 2012 at 9:25 am

    My name is Diana Rossay i am from United States, I was in a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2012 a day i can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because i answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but i refused,and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and i begged him because i love him so much but he refused me i was so down cast and i felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back,a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first i was scared but i have to give this man a trial because i love Ben very much and i am not willing to loose him to any woman,so i ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring heart…i am testifying to this great spell caster The Great Esango Priest. if you need his help you can contact him on:[email protected]

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