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Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde & Matthew Ekeinde Tell All! Their Revealing Punch Interview

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When you think of Nollywood royalty, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde‘s name always pops up, more so when you think of successful Nollywood couples.

The Nollywood superstar has been married to her Honey Boy (his nickname) Captain Matthew Ekeinde for 18 years, and have 4 beautiful children; 2 boys and 2 girls.

Omosexy and her hubby recently invited a rep at Punch to her home in Lagos. She gave the scoop on love, gender equality and the secret to her long lasting love.

In January, Beyoncé sparked public debate on gender equality being a myth. She said “It isn’t a reality yet”. To get the scoop, click here

And for Omotola, she doesn’t believe a man and a woman can be equal in any way.

Check it out!

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Omotola
On how a woman can have a successful marriage: “I don’t believe in gender equality. I do not believe that God made man and woman to be equal in any way. I believe that in every organised institution, there is always a head and an assistant. It doesn’t mean that one should take the other for granted, or disrespect the other. I believe the husband is the head of the home and the wife is an assistant. My husband is a pilot, I have flown with him several times and I understood that here is a captain and a co-pilot. They are both responsible for the passengers’ lives. But when there is a final decision to make, it is up to the captain to make it. He is more experienced and the one with the responsibility. But any mature captain will not ignore his co-pilot because the co-pilot is not a cabin attendant. He is there for a reason. It just depends on how you understand and play your roles. I believe women should understand this. When a woman starts a struggle for power tussle with him, it tends to cause friction in the home. The woman should give the man the respect as the head of the home and also prove herself as a worthy co-pilot. He needs to see you as a reliable co-pilot. Sometimes, he may not be the one running the house day-to-day, you are the one to take decisions but you have to do it in such a manner that he is comfortable enough to see you as someone he can rely on. When you have a proud and egocentric husband, hand him over to God. If you feel like your life is being threatened, or that of your children, get yourself out of that situation. You owe your children that. Try separation for a while, but before that, you must have tried other things. I do not believe that people should throw in the towel in their marriage at every flimsy excuse. You must have been a diligent wife and tried prayers and intervention. If all those fail, then you can remove yourself from that situation. Also, couples should be friends and communicate. What we call love sometimes fizzles out. True love comes from friendship. When you don’t feel those initial sparks, friendship is what keeps you together, until when the spark comes again.”

On changing anything about him: “I don’t know if it is even possible to change it. I am not someone who tries to change anyone. I just try to manage situations and people. I live with them in such a way that it does not hurt me. Maybe if he can talk more. Generally, I wish he could be more communicative. But they say women are talkative.”

On advice for couples for a successful marriage: “If they want to be successfully married, they have to take time to be so close to each other that every other thing does not matter. There should never be third parties in your marriage. It is like a wall. The minute it’s cracked and lizards start coming in, it will be hard to find the lizards and throw them out. And they will start creeping into your family. Try and always sort out the issues between you. Moreover, pay your tithe individually. It’s a covering. This is our secret. When you don’t pay your tithe, you have not committed yourself and your home will not be put together. It is your foundation. But when you pay your tithe, God helps you take away every devourer. When that is taken care of and you are God-fearing, as darts are coming from every angle, you are already fortified. If you trust each other, tell each other the truth even if one person errs.”

On reasons for break-ups in celeb marriages: “It is really hard but you both have to feel extremely secure. You have to be extremely confident and trust each other. There are so many things to deal with, especially in this environment where some people just thrive in hurting other people. The weird part is that you cannot believe that people are capable of such wickedness. You are sane and cannot believe other people are insane. These are the things that cause break up in celebrity marriages. A lot of people are talking and saying nasty things that are not true. It is just as if there is a gang up to break you up once they know you are a celebrity or in a relationship. Most times, they are all lies! Celebrity lifestyle gossip is getting to a point where they are getting close to your kids and family. They try to put your relationship in jeopardy. Then, petty things that wouldn’t cause any problems become issues. I hope there would be legislation that will protect families.”

On bad press: “I don’t think about it because I have a lifestyle that corrects everything. Talk is cheap and I tell them to come out with proof if they have any. But if they don’t have anything, they should shut up for life. I am not interested in those kinds of talks. My husband knows me, I know myself and the people who are close to me know I can’t do the things they write about. They know what I stand for and what I signify. My hands are clean and I don’t have any hidden skeleton in any cupboard. I meet people that I want to meet but in everything I do, I make sure that I do not do what I cannot explain.”

Matthew
On his wife: “She is a go-getter. She is very determined to succeed. As a wife, she is good. But sometimes, I wish she was a lot more around. She travels almost as much as I do. Sometimes, I wonder who the pilot is. As a mother, she does well; the kids are even more scared of her than they are of me. I keep thanking God because of my family because when I look around me, I see marriages that are still struggling.”

On handling finance: “When we first started, we had one account. We had goals and things that we wanted to do. Whatever we earned had to be in one purse. Then, we sat at the end of the month and drew a budget. We did that for so many years and were successful until she started her own company and we decided she needed to have her own account. In most marriages, the man goes into the marriage with the mindset that he will be the sole provider even when the wife is working. That does not make any sense. He uses his money to pay bills while the woman will use hers to buy only make-up, clothes and shoes. If the couple is one, they should join resources together to move ahead. Money causes problems in a family when one person is being selfish. It doesn’t matter who earns more or less. They should have a common goal. Save together and accomplish things together.”

To read the full interview, click here

94 Comments

  1. nikky

    March 3, 2014 at 1:27 am

    I can’t wait for the comments to roll in.

  2. MissKejetia

    March 3, 2014 at 1:29 am

    Lovely interview and candid in my opinion. I also do not believe in gender equality. We have different roles to play as men and women. This whole gender equality propaganda has caused a lot of broken homes. Gender equality in the work setting is a topic for another day… On the other hand, Marriage is not a walk in the park… Regarding finances, I like the idea of couples having separate accounts while having one account for expenses and the upkeep of their home. Definitely taking notes as learning is a continuous process.

    • Leye

      March 4, 2014 at 2:02 am

      You should read what he says is his reason for marrying Omotola:

      What was the initial attraction?

      Matthew: She was beautiful, fresh and untouched. I decided to start with someone who hadn’t seen the world yet.

  3. chi-e-z

    March 3, 2014 at 1:32 am

    only difference between a man and woman is a letter xy & xx(i.e. genitalia) simple. all this head tail nonsense is laughable. Christians say God is no respecter of persons then the next sentence the man is the head. woman came out the rib of man then the next sentence women can’t be leaders. If you don’t want your daughters to be successful in life keep going ahead and telling her to depend on a man as his subjugate instead of telling her to be a leader. I’ll tell my daughters to open their eyes and start recognizing I didn’t born them to be subjugates.

    • paulmirabilis

      March 3, 2014 at 5:26 am

      Obviously, you still have so much growing up to do. Is Omotola not a leader in her chosen career? That lady was honoured along with people that matter in the world by TIME magazine, yet she’s wise enough to know that you don’t compete with your husband at home. If you ever had any dream of a happy marriage, learn from her. Many of you that comment on blogs and social media are as dumb as they come. My advice for you is to grow up and while you are doing that, get yourself a for-dummy book on the English language.(LMAO @ your “…I didn’t born them to be subjugates.”)

    • AA

      March 3, 2014 at 9:13 am

      You have absolutely no right to insult her and call her dumb. She has stated her candid opinion and it is hers to state. It is only weak minded men like you that will take offence to what she has said. She has her experiences and reasons for stating such, leave her alone and state your own you big bully!!!

    • Cassie

      March 3, 2014 at 11:20 am

      Her English is not up to your priggery standard, yet you understood it well enough to post a reply? Interesting …
      An individual honored “along with people that matter in the world [I am guessing you don’t matter] by TIME magazine” does not automatically become the LEGAL AUTHORITARIAN on gender equality. Just say…
      Before you offer me your unsolicited advice on my spelling(s) and refer to some “dummy book on the English language,” Please let me save you some the time and energy. There are different forms/versions of English e.g. American English. You are welcome…

    • chi-e-z

      March 3, 2014 at 9:47 pm

      I clearly read every word before my response and I am not being a bully to anyone it’s obvious that she has accomplished a standard beyond many with similar life stories especially because I clearly know what her background story is (I do not really care about the Times and such so …(why are some Nigerians so braggy about meaningless things)… but her life journey I do because it is inspiring) which is why I am extra disappointed that she would take this stance even if she is clearly saying in regards to her marriage why say this in public as an inspiration to many girls. When you say you believe in woman as an ‘assistant’ . You actively commending those who say
      1. “Women can’t be pastors,priests,monarchs,CEOs,Presidents,and more” – exactly what I was told when I asked my father why women can’t be priests but can be nuns and evangelists.
      Whether she understood the consequence of her words when her daughters come and ask her why their husbands can run for president and they can’t I fear her response.
      I will simply state the facts like it is there is a letter difference between a man and woman,that’s all. I and my God are no respecter of persons. I will not say “my husband is head and I’m his assistant”. A couple is one and should make decisions based on each individual’s strengths in certain areas and learn to compromise as equals with respect and love for each other simple.

    • Oyin

      March 3, 2014 at 6:40 am

      Relax!!!! How is not believing in gender equality the same as saying women can’t be leaders. This is why, All this feminist crap is bunch of nonsense, it ain’t helping anybody. I believe in women empowerment but not in gender equality. You are a man, for a reason. A woman for a reason. Each should know their role and do it. It’s different sex, way of thinking and it’s meant to complement each other not try to be in the same shoes. I love being a woman, loves what comes with being a woman. People automatically take this whole thing to another level. Yes, we are equal but nothing wrong with your husband being the head specifically the responsible ones capable of leading rightly.!

    • NIRA

      March 3, 2014 at 10:48 am

      People misunderstand what she means, I’m a 31 year old career-minded woman, and I do believe that a man should be the head of the house. The reason why most marriages fail is cos the women fight for equality with their husbands, no respect for the man anymore. That she got married at 18 doesn’t mean she is not qualified to express her opinion, and her youth wasn’t stolen simply cos the man is 10 yrs older than her. Some girls marry at 30 to 40 yr old men, same age difference. She was very young when they got married, yes, but Mathew was quite young too. I believe they’ve grown together and knows what works for them. If you like abuse her all you want, but she has succeeded where a lot of her peers have failed. She balances her career and home very well, and I’m super proud of her. I thank God that her husband supports her, and she seems to have it all. Hope it’s not the green-eyed monster that’s eating some ppl up. How many marriages in Nollywood seems to work the way hers does?? All this feminist nonsense gets me upset. I’m all for equal opportunities in career and appointments, but let’s face it, the difference between a man and a woman is more than the XX and XY chromosome, if you’re in doubt, ask GOD!!!

  4. Iris

    March 3, 2014 at 1:47 am

    Before the chauvinists and glorified doormats descend upon this with unquantifiable joy and speed please read what she said carefully. Even more importantly, read what he said. The kind of husband you have determines your willingness to hand over the reins and still have 100% respect (not fear) for him.

    • AA

      March 3, 2014 at 9:24 am

      Thank you for having plenty sense. God bless you.

    • whocares

      March 3, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Oh Iris.. chop knuckles. loll. That is exactly it. I haven’t even read the article (I read the comments first to see if its worth it) But you are right. gods know I will be clinging to my independence like a nun clutching to her virginity if I was married to a bully.

    • Iris

      March 3, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      LMAO @nun clutching her virginity. You’re my new BN bestos

    • Blessmyheart

      March 3, 2014 at 11:13 am

      I agree. Ladies, please do not marry anyone you can’t respect and trust to make the right decisions.

    • Blessmyheart

      March 3, 2014 at 11:30 am

      I guess she used gender equality wrongly in this context but I agree with what she said. For those referring to the age difference between Omotola and her husband, what she has said does not in anyway translate to seeing her husband as a daddy figure. Many ladies just get their hackles raised whenever submission is mentioned.
      Firstly, please don’t marry someone you don’t respect or trust their decisions. This goes both ways.
      Secondly, speaking of marriages as a partnership, there is still a managing partner in a law firm, someone has to take the lead.This does not mean the man will make unilateral decisions but he is the head of the home. Speaking as a Christian, the blessing on the family flows, like the anointing on Aaron’s head, from the head to the rest of the family. So don’t, in the name of seeking equality, remove yourself from the covering of your husband.
      Thirdly, I believe the children need to know that the man is the head. Again, this does not mean the man is an autocratic leader. Infact, in many families, the children know that though their dad has the final say, the parent to win over is the mum. They can clearly see that both parents have mutual respect for the other but the man is the head.
      I wish there was a way to explain this better.

    • Oyinade

      March 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      Exactly. I call my husband the managing partner and I, the junior partner. 🙂

    • Leye

      March 4, 2014 at 2:04 am

      Glorified doormats – that is exactly what most of these nigerian girls are in the US, London and “lekki”. Show me a real classy WOMAN

  5. SpeakNoEvil

    March 3, 2014 at 1:50 am

    I will say that she has had a successful marriage so far, so I can’t overly condemn what she has said. I, however, don’t agree with her. I believe that a husband and wife should be equal based on mutual respect for one another. The thing is that some men take this “head of the household” thing to the extreme, where they think that their word is law and that their wives have no option, but to obey every proclamation that comes out of their mouths and if the wives ever try to assert their individuality/independence, it is taken as an affront by the men. Therefore, those men presume that the women are “struggling” for power with them. Any man that discusses issues with his wife and often agrees on a compromise never feels like his wife is trying to dominate him, so men should be strong enough to know that a full grown woman is an equal partner in any marriage, not just the “neck,” “rib,” or any other thing people will like to call.

    • Oyinade

      March 3, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      My dear, believe me as the neck, you have a lot of influence, you just need to know how to use it.

  6. Editrix

    March 3, 2014 at 2:17 am

    Omotola, just misconstrued the meaning of gender equality.

    Gender equality isn’t about the woman being the head. It is about creating equal opportunities for both sex to be the best and all they can be. And equal opportunity can be creating a conducive environment at home (or elsewhere) for your wife (or any woman) to be the best wife/mother/woman/helpmate /entrepreneur/ activist/engineer/model etc that she can/wants to be. The same applies to the woman — creating conducive environment for your man (or any man) to be the best and all he can/wants to be.

    Not creating the same opportunity by creating an environment that rubs the other person of all s/he can/wants to be is wrong, which is the problem with patriarchal society like Nigeria. If we are being honest, a woman isn’t allowed to be ALL she can/wants to be while in most cases, the man is allowed (and even enabled) to be all he can/wants to be. Just give both sexes equal opportunity to be the best and all they can/want to be. How is this difficult for people to understand biko? Kai.

    • slice

      March 3, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      Agreed. OmoT as u have sd u are a mentor to young people, u shd choose ur words carefully so as nt to make the battles young women fight any harder than they are already. What u described is nt gender inequality. Its marriage roles. GE has nothing to do with marrigae. And Ms. O while uMre it, maybe stop talking specifics of your mrriage. U r the ones opening the door to outsude scrutiny. For exampe, the only thg I learned from this new interview is u only opened a separate account when u started making more money. And now I’m wondering why and whether he was bothered by that given how he sd it in the interview.

  7. LION

    March 3, 2014 at 2:30 am

    I am one of the strongest, fiercest women I know and I like my man to be the man. I don’t know the vocab to describe that with, equality, inequality or just the truth, but I am comfortable in my relationships when the man takes the lead and is secure enough to let me be the woman I am. no competition, no comparisons, just us, just truth!

  8. Herzl

    March 3, 2014 at 3:01 am

    That is what you will say when you marry young to a much older man who will always be like a father and not a husband.don’t worry that is your own marriage.everybody’s is different.definately equal in my house.atleast I don’t see my husband as a daddy

  9. Ugo

    March 3, 2014 at 3:16 am

    I think she is stating what has worked well for her in her own family which is fine but I take offense to her extrapolating widely that this setup is best for all. I am not sure why by virtue of being born a woman, one has to be satisfied with taking a seat as second-in-command. Is it not conceivable that there are relationships where a woman might be a superior leader, better at managing the household finances or have more earning power etc? I think each couple should figure out the balance of responsibilities that works best given each individual’s talent and abilities. What is most disappointing about this comment is that Omotola is a leader of women and men and by saying that men should naturally be the “pilot” in the home, I wonder why people should not believe the same should be true in the workplace. Why does she put herself in the leadership of her business ventures as a woman. Given the beliefs she espouses in this piece, would it not be more prudent for her to hand over the reigns of her business endeavours to a man to whom piloting comes more naturally?

    • anwuli

      March 3, 2014 at 11:27 am

      Can there be two captains on a ship?

  10. iyke

    March 3, 2014 at 3:40 am

    Not trying to say too much…more than what’s called for… But I do know that much is often needed and required…warranted and deserved…
    In MARRIAGE, all you need is WISDOM. A wise and good woman understands what equal partnership means…It is wisdom that makes her become the co-pilot and not the head pilot.
    Show me a wise woman with the fear of God and I will show you a happy marriage.

    • anwuli

      March 3, 2014 at 11:28 am

      Hallelujah! Preach on brother!

  11. LalaBola

    March 3, 2014 at 3:42 am

    Although I understand her statement concerning women being submissive to their husbands, I think saying you do not believe in gender equality is too broad a statement. There are so many ways gender inequality exists in the society. For example, some women get payed less than men even when they put in the same time in their various work places. How do you explain the difference in salaries? There are also numerous examples of gender inequality in the society.

  12. no smart names

    March 3, 2014 at 7:16 am

    notice how she said captain and co-pilot?, kinda like a head and its supporting neck, the head knows that without the neck, it’d probably be rolling on some hard floor of uncertainty and need. now i won’t start about the genesis of gender relationships. but we all know what happens when two partners always try to eclipse each other. i realize that i just might have said a load of rubbish, but life is some smelly pit.

  13. @edDREAMZ

    March 3, 2014 at 7:52 am

    Am loving yu omosexy…..
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    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  14. billionaire in grace

    March 3, 2014 at 8:01 am

    I like the part of tithing.God bless u omotola u will keep on moving forward and upward

    • Eki

      March 3, 2014 at 8:10 am

      A woman will not like to head the husband and, it’s not possible to have two heads in a family, still, they (women ) dnt want to be the tail while the hubby is the head. How do you reconcile this!!! No wonder women have the most problem in the world.

  15. 5star

    March 3, 2014 at 8:08 am

    She married to her pilot uncle. This thinking is understandable. A 28 year old man will not dare approach my 18 year old daughter for any stupid romantic relationship. You will not steal her youth and some of her formative years away. She isn’t even a woman yet. All she wants to do is make her agbaya man happy. Nigerians will choose to ignore how creepy their story is simply because she is is still a married woman. This is many Nigerian women’s biggest achievement/ main goal in life- to be a mrs. They will not mind being “glorified doormats” as some1 referred to it- as long as they are married. Marriage is a partnership. Men should be taught at home not to have this stupid ego + girls should be taught to have self respect. A real man knows that his wife is his partner/ his other half + not his assistant. This doesn’t look like a partnership no matter how u want to paint that head/neck, pilot/co pilot analogy. Go + check the definition of submission in the dictionary. Say no to slavery + stop allowing marriage reduce your self worth, Nigerian women.

    • Asabe Chiamaka Adeolu

      March 3, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Round of applause for you and @chizzy and a few above. There is a huge chasm in the brains of Nigerian men and women where sense is supposed to fill. Anyway, my response:

      Omotola, you sound confused. It’s clear you have no clue what gender quality is.

      In a family, there is nothing like assistant or head in the husband-wife dynamics. It is a bilateral PARTNERSHIP.
      Although a home is not a plane, let us use that your example.
      FIRST OF ALL, the pilot and co-pilot are usually equal in rank and ability and the responsibilities are SHARED. Co-pilot is the just the “non flying pilot” while the captain is the “flying pilot”. Responsibility of passengers and crew are on the captain, yes, but their tasks are pretty much equal. BOTH have control of the aircraft but one is just doing the flying job, and in the event that the captain is incapable, the co-pilot is EQUAL TO THE TASK of taking over. The co-pilot can fly the plane on the return flight and the captain will have to become the co-pilot and respect the “new” captain’s decisions. You will never call yourself a HEAD to someone who is your equal as you will respect the fact that you are both 100% capable.
      The only way this is a superior/inferior thing will exist is if the co-pilot is a pilot in training or a military plane with ranks, which is maybe how your husband runs his flights. And really, I won’t be surprised that Nigerian pilots pull rank as most Nigerians do in any setting where they receive any small title.

      Entering a relationship with the mentality of inferior/superior is very dangerous, especially in this day and age. That means your daughters are automatically at a loss and your sons, winning. I personally will NEVER teach my children that. You enter a relationship with your equal and let each other take on different responsibilities. If one person needs to make a decision for all, the other must trust that they are doing the right thing or that everything will be fine. Not that the woman will be sulking because her husband’s decision is final. Rubbish!

      Compromise, love and trust are what a proper couple need to run, not obeying instruction and allowing the other person rule.

    • Bella Noire

      March 3, 2014 at 2:07 pm

      What I don’t understand about this whole “men are the head of the home” talk is why is the man the head of the home? Someone said that even in a law firm with equal partners, there has to be a managing partner. Okay, so the partners choose the most competent partner, right? Or maybe the partner who brings in the most business, right? What I’m saying is there is some qualification that leads to this leadership appointment. But what is it that makes the man the “head”? Just because he’s a man? I’m sorry, I can’t accept that. Penises do not a leader make. A marriage should be a relationship between equals.

    • Blessmyheart

      March 3, 2014 at 3:27 pm

      @Asabe, I acknowledge my husband as the head but he definitely doesnt lay down instructions or rule over me. I broke up a relationship I was in because he was always ready to give in to me and take whatever I say. I’m very stubborn so I knew I needed someone I will respect and listen to. Trust me, I am not the kind to take instructions but one thing I’ve learnt is that there are different ways to get what I want.
      @Bella Noire, I’m a Christian so taking the man as the head comes from the Bible. But trying to rationalise it as best as I can, the woman is in charge of the home. Nature has made it such that the woman bears children and has to take up related responsibilities in taking care of the children. Not that the man does not have that responsibility but there is just that motherly instinct that makes women better at taking care of the home and the children. Now what is the man’s part? Just like in my analogy of a partnership firm,you would find out that more often than not, the managing partner is not as involved in day-to-day client engagements as the other partners. But the managing partner is the head of the firm and represents the firm to show clear leadership.
      Another question you may ask is, why does the woman take the name of the man and not the other way round?
      All I’m saying is, in as much as my husband and I are partners, he is the head of the home. We make decisions together and he effectively performs majority of the domestic chores, asides cooking, we both contribute to the finances of home, I like to have my way which leads to conflicts sometimes but he is still the head of the home. I plan to let our children clearly see that he is the head of the home but it does not make the girls subservient to the boys. It’s for order and leadership purpose.
      Whew! Long comment. Just my thoughts. If it sounds preachy then I’m preaching to myself too.

    • Onye Ara

      March 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

      I assume your dad and brothers all have same chasm in the brain you are referring to?
      All this talk that typify Nigerian men and women is plain dumb and simplistic.

    • Truthful

      March 3, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Okay, would you allow your 18 year old to have a boyfriend then? And even if you won’t, are you aware that many school girls in Nigeria and beyond are sexually active from as early as 16? If this is the case, I don’t see anything wrong in a promising man doing the decent thing by approaching the girl’s parents rather than defiling her in secret. What a sick society that frowns at an 18 year old lady choosing to marry and grow with her husband yet celebrates those who sleep around all in the name of romance and dating!

    • sigh

      March 4, 2014 at 8:14 am

      @onye ara ur name says it all. Why are you insulting people’s parents and family directly now? What’s wrong if Asabe feels that way about Nigerians? did she mention anyone specifically? ppl and their fish brains.

  16. 'Midé

    March 3, 2014 at 8:15 am

    I don’t mind taking instructions from a female boss. But I hate taking instructions from a girlfriend o! Wetin una go come call me? Yet, I sabi say we different and sabi things differently even though we equal o! Too much Oyinbo go make man head craze for this world.

  17. Chizzy

    March 3, 2014 at 8:49 am

    Gender equality is not about being submissive to your husband, neither does it say don’t be submissive to your husband. Gender equality is providing women/girls the same social, economic and political opportunities that men have always had. Its a woman having the rights to aspire to the same professional level a man would, its a woman having the rights to her body and her sexuality, its a woman not being discriminated against just because she is a different sex, its a woman earning the same as a man would in that position, its a woman rights to education and above all its a woman having the same set of choices that a man has.

  18. tish

    March 3, 2014 at 9:02 am

    Omotola, you know what???
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    You just earned yourself another fan!!!

    The title of the article while misleading ( BN: leave the sensationalism for those other bloggers, I keep telling you!) the content is the business.. The parts about tithing, your reference to co-piloting and separation in times of conflict….O girl, you make sense DIE!!!

    • Stephanie

      March 4, 2014 at 12:41 am

      hehehehehe….u r funny! u go fear intro
      blogsvila.blogspot.com

  19. lilz

    March 3, 2014 at 9:52 am

    omotola *kisses*

  20. CarliforniaBawlar

    March 3, 2014 at 10:03 am

    Omotola does not know the meaning of gender equality.
    End of discussion.

    • Fashionista

      March 3, 2014 at 10:54 am

      My sentiments exactly. However, whatever works for her.

    • AMY

      March 3, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      My exact thoughts and opinion. Someone should let her know.

    • SaveNaija!

      March 4, 2014 at 12:41 am

      Agreed! She needs to do some reading and comprehension to understand what “gender equality” means, i.e, equal pay for equal work. The reason she spoke like that is because she is in paternalistic dominated society. Gosh, she is sending the wrong message to young women and men!

  21. bimbo

    March 3, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Wise woman,brave woman,virtous woman.God bless u 4 been u.2 all d commentors I must say dat omotola is not givin her interview as an advice, 2 u she just told us her view and what has worked 4 her, dis couple is super and real.i respect dat so much.and dis has worked 4 dem.omotola d lord wil cont 2 keep ur home and uphold u.thank u

  22. dimpledfreak

    March 3, 2014 at 10:59 am

    So so disappointed with this article and even more so the commenters. I think a lot of people don’t actually understand what gender equality is. Just because a man is the head of the home that doesn’t make her unequal with her husband, the woman plays a different role which has of equal importance as the husbands role. My merciful God did not make me of unequal weight to any man including my husband. So sad that woman are enemies to themselves and don’t understand their value in the home. Omo T do u understand what it means to be an assistant? U have no say u go along with whatever the ‘pilot’ says u should do apply no wisdom, strength, courage. An assistant is just a dummy with no value to the home not saying ur a dummy Omo T. But u have such great responsibility to woman all over the world and you’ve just set us back 50 yrs

  23. dimpledfreak

    March 3, 2014 at 11:07 am

    Nigerians always go on bout how oyinbo marriages end divorce and what? Because Nigerian marriages are so amazing
    (Please sense the sacacism). Just because we know how to do suffering and smiling and live utter horror for the rest of our lives doesn’t make a marriage successful. Oyinbo people just refuse to suffer period.

    • Bella Noire

      March 3, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      Thank you!

    • gia

      March 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      preach!!!!!!!!!

    • chi-e-z

      March 3, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      agreed.

    • SaveNaija!

      March 4, 2014 at 12:46 am

      Thank you dear. I’m very disappointed with some of our people’s inability to critically analyze things. This gender equality has been misinterpreted by Omotola! Gosh, like you said, she just set women folk 50 years back!

  24. Ani

    March 3, 2014 at 11:58 am

    Omotola has said it all. This is what works for her and not you. Hate it or like it. I like it and i agree with her. We all are shaped differently. Omotola has achieved everything today simply because of her husband’s support. She has been able to achieve that because she’s wise enough to know how to treat her man. Trying to struggle headship with a man can NEVER work. A woman is meant to support her husband. A good man will love, cherish, and treat her the way she’s supposed to be treated. Omotola is getting all of this that is why she’s glowing.

    • AA

      March 3, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      Oh please! This has nothing to do with “how to treat a man” so take that Steve Harvey bull crap away from here. This is about our daughters growing up and believing in themselves. My mother has been happily married to my father for FORTY YEARS and trust me, she is an equal partner in her marriage. He absolutely adores her and she gives him the utmost respect. Now, that is one thing Nigerian men lack for their women, RESPECT!!! So take that “treat your man right” away from here and start treating yourself right first, before you demand respect from a man. THAT IS GENDER EQUALITY!

      Gosh, why are Nigerian women such doormats????

    • gia

      March 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

      Because most of them have the IQ of a monkey…seriously,i CANT STANT the foolishness of nigerian women!

    • Cynthia

      March 3, 2014 at 7:56 pm

      Thank you. Nigerian women…smh.

    • Onye Ara

      March 3, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      Why must everything about this lady be exaggerated?
      Her career, her acting ability,her intelligence even her marriage.
      Is there nothing like moderation for you hero worshippers?

    • @onye ara

      March 4, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      dont die of hatred and beef

  25. JimK

    March 3, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Omo cannot be wrong on what she belief in. She is being honest with her life and home. Those who disagree with her are free to do so. But mark this, those who believe that male and female are equal can continue to deceive themselves and probably many others, but they cannot change the fact that a Man is a Man and a Woman is woman. Humans can change the concept of women not equal at our own perils. This does not mean that women are slaves or lesser humans when God said they are not equal with Men. Look around us and see the many ills we have brought on ourselves! All extremes are equally not what God intended.

  26. 1 + The One

    March 3, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    I loved the interview and I agree with her point that there has to be a leader in any successful partnership, endeavour or marriage..
    I think she has earned the right to talk, she has 18years in the bag.. I would consider an argument against, backed with commensurate experience..

  27. Tiki

    March 3, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    There is a difference between gender and equality, and whatever Omotola is talking about up there. This is what happens when so-called role models opine on subjects which they know nothing about. And to think that some of her followers will hail her opinion! Uurrggh. Two steps forward, five steps back.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      March 4, 2014 at 12:19 am

      Thank you. And you know how the average Nigerian reasons, with his/her continued disinclination to form any independent thought of his/her own. If Omotola says it, then it must be the gospel truth: hence gender inequality with its very real dangers automatically becomes a silly fairy tale. Makes you understand exactly how we’ve ended up with some of the most imbecilic leaders in the world (& you better believe there’s a correlation here…)

  28. Tee

    March 3, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Wow!!!!!! Why are u lot putting ur marital life on display,the comments says it all.In as much as I agree with some of you that OmoT doesn’t know the meaning of gender equality,I think her career and the way she has a right to live her dream says a lot.You can judge for self that she has a freehand in her marriage and nobody’s doormat.The only issue is that she stressed the aspect of being submissive in the home.Readers should read again esp where she said the co-pilot decisions matters and as relevant as the captain cos she’s not a hostess.But I realised that the venom is coming from the unstable marriages that some of you guys are experiencing,cos your comments says it all.And for those that got married to men they cannot respect or trust with their finances.I sorry sorry o,the same impatience and values got you where you are,you better change so things can change for you or it could also mean that u are still very young in your marriage,you could use some of the OmoT marital sermon to balance things.

    • The bible says it all

      March 4, 2014 at 8:45 am

      @ Tee,i love u already for this comment, i wish there was a like button

  29. AMY

    March 3, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    In as much as I am dissapointed with what Omotola “said” (if she actually did use the words “gender equality”), I am much more dissapointed with what our dear commenters have said here. You have the chance to look up gender equlity before commenting and yet have refused. She may have been confused with her choice of words to describe what she was saying but if she was not, can somebody please lecture her on gender equality? Run your marriage as you wish (to each, his/her own) but please don’t set us back decades. I wonder if you would say the same thing in the workplace and wider world! BTW, Wikipedia states that “Gender equality, also known as sex equality, sexual equality or equality of the genders, refers to the view that men and women should receive equal treatment, and should not be discriminated against based on gender, unless there is a sound biological reason for different treatment. This is the objective of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which seeks to create equality in law and in social situations, such as in democratic activities and securing equal pay for equal work”.

  30. oaa

    March 3, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    I love her for who she is… Especially the ‘confidence’ in airing her opinion on gender equality.
    She isn’t putting it in anyone’s face. Its her opinion.

    We necessarily do not need to accept a general ‘law’ or ‘opinion’ into our personal lives. So long she isn’t forcing it on anyone, way to go!

  31. Sam

    March 3, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    Always knew she was an illiterate. Well I never expected her to say anything smart as she is not known for having brains but beauty.
    Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. A man and woman are equal in all senses. Is my only crime in life being born a woman?

  32. Fabulicious

    March 3, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    It is well ooo.Whatever rocks the boat of someone who was married as a teenager sha..even my dad and mum have been married for 30years and daddy still says the reason why they are still as affectionate is because he sees them both as equals.

  33. Flora B

    March 3, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    just because someone is seen as being the leader of the marriage doesn’t make the other person a lesser mortal. It is alright to see your husband as the captain of your aircraft but you as the co-pilot still have a say because the captain cannot know everything no matter how much older or experienced he is. You have a right and a duty to participate and your captain (be he the woman or the man) should respect that right if the partnership is to succeed.The principal tenet of gender equality is that both genders should receive equal treatment and one gender should not be discriminated against on the basis of their gender unless there’s a valid biological reason for it. So people should not be waived away or held in higher esteem for the mere fact of their being of a particular gender. The person with the better leadership qualities should lead the home be they male or female. this does not mean that you should subjugate the other person. Respect is off utmost importance.
    Us women keep equating gender equality with being the same as men. The truth is that we are different from men in many ways (biologically, emotionally etc) Society also plays a major role in the ways we develop. For example, a man’s ego (generally speaking) is very fragile compared to a woman’s. As much as wanting to be treated as equals is a valid expectation, we must not forget those little differences that if applied with sense will help us to complement each other rather than fight each other.

  34. Changing Faces

    March 3, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    Education is very important! At 36 you do not know the meaning of gender equality? Run your home however you wish, but pls learn to use Google ; or better still a dictionary!

    • Olori Tari

      March 3, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      LMAO nawa . Brother/sister you are hurt oo. What exactly is hurting you ? She doesn’t know the meaning of gender equality ? Is that the reason for all the hurt ? Calm down love.

    • sigh

      March 4, 2014 at 8:13 am

      Seriously she proved herself a major olodo. All because she wanted to show herself…. shio!

  35. jay

    March 3, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Well thats the difference between her and the activists. Education is important. How can you compare gender equality with captain and co-pilot?

  36. always happy

    March 3, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    One thing me I took away sha na ” the principle of tithing is real” for any leader who has common sense. So leaders of today or tomorrow ( be ye male, female or children) best believe if you truly trust God with your finances, then you gots to be a tither. Listen well God no say give me leftovers nor did he ask you if you have enough, he commanded trust me with the little you have and see if I am not faithful, give me your first fruits ( he wants first dips) before you allow other non eternal bosses into the harvest. He/She who has ears, use them well

    • sigh

      March 4, 2014 at 8:21 am

      abet calm down. Yahooyahoo boyz sef dey give 10% for blessing… like u did not know that tithing was important before omotola said so

  37. madman

    March 4, 2014 at 1:03 am

    She doesn’t understand the meaning of gender-equality. It’s OBVIOUSLY EVIDENT.

  38. Leye

    March 4, 2014 at 2:06 am

    This is what happens when women refuse to go to school and get married at 18 to a pedophile

    • sigh

      March 4, 2014 at 8:27 am

      Oops! LOL

    • Fashionista

      March 4, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      ROTFLMAOOOOO!!!! Oh no you didn’t!!!!! spot on though.

  39. You and I know

    March 4, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Deep down, you and I know that it’s the submission thingy that people have issues with.

    Sometimes, people can make mistakes and interchange words which may not have the exact meaning (as seen in this case) especially when on a hot seat (e.g interviews) or facing a crowd/audience. If you have ever addressed a crowd or been on interviews, you would understand what I mean. To be candid, majority are not on the GE factor, they are on the “submission/head” thing.

    If we are to talk about equality, ladies are having it so no need to quarrel. In my office, the ratio of females to males is approximately 60:40. In most of the recent job adverts, there is always a note at the end (footnote) that “females are advised to apply.” Ladies are having it to the extent that its now having a negative consequence on the society. I love the fact that they are making it and have no problems with that. I know singleness wasn’t as bad as this as ladies could marry easily cos the men had an upper hand and could get the lady they wanted.

    Now, the ladies have more money/riches/wealth and will never marry downwards-which is the consequence I am referring to here. The successful men who would have been a better/perfect match to their new status are much older guys/men, who are already married. This could also explain the side chic phenomenon. Well, whatever be the consequence, we have to deal with it cos change comes with a lot of impact (both positive and negative) and there will always be a consequence for every decision taken.

    On the submission note, marriages fail these days because of a change in values and orientation. Omotola and our mothers were able to keep their homes because of mutual respect and ability to discern their place in marriage.

    We shouldn’t continue arguing on this issue, for all the singles, I pray God will bless you with your partners. Experience they say is the best teacher (although great people learn from the experiences of others). Experiences of others helps you not fall into ditches and traps, but if you feel that is not the way, you can adopt another. You may not agree with Omotola but as soon as you are married, use any strategy that works for you and ensure there is peace.

    If it is violence that works for you, fine; if it is head-head that works for you, fine. If it is pilot-co-pilot strategy, fine. In every setting, there is the need for a lead role. Without a lead role, there will be chaos, anarchy and crisis. Imagine an office without a lead role where everyone can do as he/she likes; imagine a society without a lead role/government where everyone can dictate and enforce his/her opinion; imagine a class without a class prefect; imagine a plane where all are pilots and no lead role; imagine a church, mosque social gathering without a lead role, what comes to your mind?

    Never forget, we are responsible for our actions and there is always a consequence for every decision taken.

    • Truthful

      March 4, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Very well said. I also wonder why people are saying that gender equality should be left out of marriage. Why should it obtain everywhere else apart from marriage since it is so wonderful and positive then? What we need in our society is respect, honour and love for women. Finish. Any other political movement in aid of women ends up suppressing the other gender at the end of the day. In the western world, men have been reduced to caricature basically all due to this feminist and equality propaganda. This is why the centre cannot hold in western marriages. And for your information, many married people in western marriages are still suffering and smiling. The men are being oppressed in a lot of these marriages and treated like a piece of rag. Many western women too are being battered everyday and endure it in silence. Google and check out the facts. Gender equality and feminism has not eradicated stupidity and wickedness which goes to show that some people (both male and female) have mental issues that equality cannot solve. If your life is at risk in any marriage, please run to safety until things can be resolved. Nobody is asking anyone to die in a marriage due to submission. Wisdom in all things abeg.

  40. Praised Whisgrater

    March 5, 2014 at 1:40 am

    I love, love, love your comment.

  41. tt

    March 6, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    Nigerians like the word mrs even if its hard as long they are married,they can be doormats…this girl omotola with her English mmmmmmmmmmmmgo to skul sisi

  42. Abisoye Amosu

    March 8, 2014 at 8:15 am

    Gender equality simply means the measurable equal representation of women and men it doesn’t mean that they are the same but that they have equal value and opportunity and should be accorded equal treatment so what she really saying we all know that for a successful home it’s in the hand of the wife she as to respect her husband and likewise the husband should appreciate and show love to her then the home will have no problem.if you respect your man you won’t drag role with him .he is unique in his own role which is to provide for the home and make decisions with consultations from you while the wife will have the responsibility to takia of the house ,the home and even the husband in every other way. So it’s a joint responsibility just that most men overdo things and make themselves gods and this infrindges on the woman’s human right .

  43. bernadine

    March 10, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Agreed that OmoT used the term wrongly, bt the content of all she said was so on point! Please she didn’t take us back 50yrs jst bcos she used a term out of context.

  44. uberchic

    April 5, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    First, I am a twenty-something year old unmarried Christian lady and I BELIEVE in GENDER EQUALITY. I also BELIEVE in the SUPPORT ROLE that GOD has given to women all over the world. But, I must say God gave women this role only in the place of marriage. And although we are to support OUR HUSBANDS, God did not make us inferior to OUR HUSBANDS or inferior to MEN in general! What Omotola has staated is so spot on- this is the support role God has given to us women and every wise woman who understands her God- given roles would do this naturally as she is the home-maker)
    To understand the term “Gender Equality”, simply break down into the two words that make up the phrase. Equality is the state of being equal, in quantity, value, rank or ability. Gender simply refers to “a kind or sort or class of a thing” (here in the sex of human beings.) Therefore, Gender Equality can be defined as “equal rank, ability, degree or value for a man or woman”
    A lot of people and even Omotola clearly use the term wrongly. This ‘doctrine’ simply wants equal opportunities for both men and women, boy and girl- i.e, treat us the same way. Outside the house, it is saying “don’t treat her better than me just because she is a woman or treat me better just because I’m a man. Be FAIR to us both”. That’s all! People think it’s a women thing but in reality it serves men too!
    The thing is gender equality INSIDE THE HOME is applied a bit differently from the way it is outside. At home, though the man has the ‘final say’, if he is wise, he will seek the input of his wife. He won’t overlook her or push her aside. Also, the wise wife would not always ‘keep quiet’ but let her husband hear her voice (opinion). She speaks, he speaks and they reach a consensus- that is what equals/ contemporaries do so that when the success comes, they BOTH take the credit!
    Truth is, if there’s no equality in the homes, then the society would never treat anyone has equals because it is the individual homes that make up the societies anyway! If a man feels superior to a woman, check that man, he has a problem. A real man who knows his worth would never be threatened by any woman whether or not she has the same pedigree as him. He would not be afraid to support his wife. Same goes for a woman who knows her worth. And she won’t be afraid to support her man.
    I really want to go on but I’ll stop with this when we start training children and start saying that nothing is a girl’s job or a boy’s job but everybody’s job, we would begin to have happier homes and happier people in public places.

  45. TAIWO ERITOBOR

    March 3, 2017 at 10:01 am

    I do not think Omotola understands what Gender Equality is. She is rather taking it literally. Her response perfectly show that men and women compliment each other even when there is a hierarchy, However, in speaking about gender equality Rev. Funke Adejumo, Mrs. Nkem Uwaje Begho, Mrs. Olajumoke Adenowo, Mrs. Ibukun Awosika, Mrs. Ndidi Nwuneli, Mrs. Josephine Okei-Odumakin, Mrs. Biola Alabi and others explain that God created men and women to work together with no one having significant intelligence over the other. So equality in this sense is about giving women the same playing field to excel in all they do as men. Though contextually, women as multitaskers have to balance the home and work wisely with wisdom and tactically playing to win in all they do even when submissive.

  46. TAIWO ERITOBOR

    March 3, 2017 at 10:37 am

    Also, I believe when you do not thoroughly do your research in an area but take it literally, you may be responding in a way that misconstrues the essence of what is being spoken about and this might trample on a cause that is trying to help you. This is why people are bringing up terms like feminism and empowerment. Gender is a social construct and equality only intercepts with gender when talking about humanity. Being able to live a dignified human life as Sen and Nussbaum would say. Feminism is not about disrespecting your husband but having equal social, economic, political opportunities to realize your potentials. It is a fight against patriarchy and systems that oppress women in every sphere of life. It is a cause that serves as a platform to negotiate educational, employment and other opportunities that women were traditionally denied. Empowerment is contextual and should entail three dimensions as Rowland states: Personal, Relational and Collective. Meaning it is ongoing, and women should have the self-confidence (this can be cultivated via education) to start with, and through that, they can relate to others including their spouses in making decisions, and collectively as agents of change belonging to various social networks. Given this, empowerment actually strives to reveal the attributes women have and encourages a full utilization of it both at home and in their professional lives. As Oby Ezekwesili puts it, there are five realities for women that must work together: being a human being, a child of your parents, sibling, wife and mother. So loose interpretations and lack of understanding on issues will allow you fall into the “Omotola trap” as I will call it. Listen to Chimamanda, and you would understand what feminism is and why men can be feminists. Every woman can create the realities they want by not limiting yourself via the mental glass ceiling of being just a women but someone with potentials to soar as high as possible. If you are content with being a housewife, that is up to you so create your reality. But always know tools, and terms like feminism, empowerment, gender inequality, though, transformed to buzzwords and abused, are there to steer you to a path of self-development and mastery over your womanhood and capabilities. Just used it wisely, understand it and contextualize it to reap the fruits it holds. I am a feminist, and I am proud to be one unapologetically.

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