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Best Friend vs. Girlfriend/Wife – Who Gets the Front Seat?

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Group of friends having fun at party

Let’s Talk About this!

As always, Ebuka Obi-Uchendu raises another interesting topic on Twitter. Today, the TV personality tweeted about how the game changes when a fellow male friend gets in a relationship.

A scenario here – you and your pal seat side-by-side in a ride, always attend events together, gist about women, money and fast cars. Then comes this lady who makes him head over heels in love.

Does she automatically take the front seat – the car and the attention?

 

 

What’s your take BellaNaijarians?

75 Comments

  1. time lukson

    April 18, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Backseat jejely, no doubt about that. I want to make sure I create space for the new lovers and through that, I gain my own respect as well.

  2. mp

    April 18, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    there’s actually nothing to b debated on here BN. its crystal clear that once a person gets into a r/ship his or her priority changes. definitely its the wife/ girlfriend that should take the front seat.

  3. Bunmi

    April 18, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    This shouldnt even be up for any damn debate. Unless you are a side beech.
    Some men & their stupid pride feel they deserve the front seat. It may look petty because it is only a car seat but it says a lot about your relationship. If I am there, my kneegah, you better move your behind to where you belong at the moment which would be the back seat or out of the car. There should never be any struggle for who should take the front seat at all. It’s common sense. Some women allow their men & their friends walk over them because they dont want to upset their men & their biggest goal is to get married (to these people). A man who loves & respect you will never entertain that. That nonsense should already be handled without my presence. A man should be mature enough to know how to balance his friends & relationship & vice versa. Friends & lovers should never clash. As his wife/gf, you should be both his best friend,lover, & partner. He shouldn’t dismiss his friends , he needs friends, but you are his priority. Know your worth, ladies. Friends, know your place.

  4. beralyn

    April 18, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    Fair enough, the friend should scoot over to the back. But how about junior sister of the boyfriend, should she move to the back too? some sisters are so rude, they will watch you go to the back as a girl friend. smh

    • PT

      April 18, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      I think it’s even clearer with a sister. Younger or older, please respect yourself and back up your behind to the back seat.

    • Deandre

      September 11, 2016 at 9:17 am

      No , My SISTER stays in the front . My BLOOD SISTER was there first. MY SISTER is more attached to me for her being my SISTER . because we share the same mother . Who taught me to protect my SISTER and stand up for my SISTER in these types of situations

      1
  5. madman

    April 18, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Don’t mean to sound sexist but the woman goes to the back. If I’m not gay, why should she care who sits where.

    • Smarty

      April 18, 2014 at 2:48 pm

      You are a mad man so…

    • Me

      April 18, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      Lmao! I laffed so hard just reading this. Perfect reply!

    • Strawberrycandy

      April 19, 2014 at 5:51 am

      Hahahahahaha Smarty!

    • Cancel Reply

      April 18, 2014 at 2:58 pm

      Sigh!

    • ogeAdiro

      April 18, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      If I’m driving and my friend is a guy then, my girlfriend/wife goes to the back. If my wife/girlfriend is driving then, my friend goes to the back.
      If said friend is a woman and I’m driving then, my friend goes to the back. If my wife/girlfriend is driving then, I go to back.

    • shan

      November 21, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      Ur vision is veryc clear I had to face a similar situation last night I felt so bad as I was disrespected. My gf n her sister wanted to go out and when we getting into the car my gf took the front seat and put me to the rear whileh her sister driving. I was all alone behind watchingtheir back. I feel disrespected and as a man I should have been treated with respect.. am I right or wrong?

  6. signortofu

    April 18, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Wife should stay in front. If it’s a gf, then whoever gets there first. If your going out with your dad, your dad stays in front. If it’s your mum, she stays at the back while your wife stays in front

  7. GladiatorInASuit

    April 18, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    Really who cares?

  8. Bukky

    April 18, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Are adults seriously debating this ?

  9. onye Ara

    April 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    Is this a question or a statement?

  10. Atoke

    April 18, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Will the car get us to our proposed destination?

    If this even an issue, then should we complain that the delegates at the ‘Confab’ are arguing about what type of prayers were used to start deliberations?

    Really? Front seat? Really? Really?

    • Laniks

      April 24, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      I love u Atoke..u r a mind reader

  11. memebaby

    April 18, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    hmmm.. i know this.. first hand!! my ex and his lover (his main guy/BEST FRIEND) .. It never bugged me when he will come pick me up and main guy will just be balanced in the front seat.. not until my younger sis made it an issues smh and I started seeing things from her perspective. Abeg, best friends…know your position, when gf is around she’s #1 ehn, when she’s gone you can continue your romance … boy did i get jealous sometimes lol jealous of the fact that I don’t have a relationship like them with a close pal and he sometimes had to choose ..oh well moving on 🙂

  12. nammy

    April 18, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    This has always been an issue between my guy and I, I feel I should take d front seat but he always asks me to go back so his friends can sit in front

  13. slice

    April 18, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    if they’ve not seen each other in a while, i say girlfd/wife should let them have the front and gist and catch up. Otherwise, abeg…

  14. Olanrewaju

    April 18, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    Without much noise, slide to the backseat and plug my earphones on.. No time

  15. @edDREAMZ

    April 18, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    Is a normal thing abeg…. If ur dude is with his miss yu just gat to knw that the front seat is no longer for grabs for yu….
    .
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  16. mrs chidukane

    April 18, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    When I was a girlfriend I did the backseat though my husband’s mum/sis and dad would vacate the front for me. Now,because the ac is usually stronger in front on hot days esp when traveling, go to the back but in town,you can stay in front.

  17. marietta

    April 18, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    I take the backseat. but then again it’s my car …I can afford to be generous and i feel like a boss iven around. #ohnoshedidnt #cheekygrin

  18. Żûrįęllę

    April 18, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Well,it really doesn’t matter,but if its the guy’s wife,his friend should sit at the back and respect himself

  19. rose akoh

    April 18, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Sometimes I wonder if this Ebuka is real, dude just says what I want to hear or what I’d sain most situation.haBa! Person fine,den e come correct ontop,if not dt. Ders evidence of his mum n siblings ehn,I wuda tot he was a…I love llove love d way he tackles zainab n lamide on ebonylive Tv.correct boy

  20. Concerned_Boyfriend

    April 18, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    This actually happened to me a few years ago. My best friend came from the U.K to visit me for the holidays. Couple days after, we drove to my girl friend’s house to pick her up. I was driving and my BF was already in the front passenger seat, my GF (who was African American) immediately demanded that my best friend (who she was meeting for the first time) to hit the back seat. Homeboy went into a frenzy right there on the spot (a Yoruba man with 18th century Yoruba mentality) …LOL!.. I was confused as I wasn’t sure whose side to take. I told my GF to seat in the back (at least for now) but home girl refused and bolted back into her apartment in rage. Whose side should I be on, my GF or my best friend ?. I’d love to hear your opinions.

    • Person

      April 18, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      Your girlfriend demanded that? And flew into a rage when her wishes were not granted? Like we would say in Nigeria, she doesn’t have home training. Ordinary girlfriend demanding ish from people she doesn’t know. Maybe if she hadn’t demanded, your homie may have vacated the seat for her. Or she could have take the front seat on the journey home. If she is disrespecting your friend she just met, I don’t imagine what she would do to your family. I hope you broke up with her. And yes, I am a woman.

    • Chimamanda's Main Squeeze

      April 18, 2014 at 11:09 pm

      She doesn’t have home training because she refused to be a doormat? I think you should’ve take her side. Your boy is not your girl… Crazy…

    • Person

      April 19, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      @Chimanmanda’s Main Squeze, how does sitting in the back make her a doormat? She made a scene. With his best friend she had never met before. What if it was her potential brother in law? She would make a scene too? Her problem was with her man. Not his friends. No need to be putting your business on the streets. She could have told him in private how bad she felt sitting in the back. At a later time. *rme* Again, she does not have proper home training.

    • D

      April 24, 2014 at 3:54 pm

      Both BF and GF lack home training…Friend for going into a frenzy when GF demanded he takes back seat and GF too for throwing a fit over that. I will just have to assume at this point that both were not adults. Seat is seat jare…as long as the motor no quench for road. Either BF and GF could have handled situation better. Poor you for having 2 people that can think beyound themselves around you. I would have told both of them to sit at the back, I will be acting chauffeur for the day since the front is the bone of contention no one gets to sit there.

    • D

      April 24, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      ***Cannot think beyond***

    • memebaby

      April 18, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      lmaooo.. well that would have been an awkward situation.. but your bestie would have been a gentle man and just sat at the back..you know we girls like to be dramatic (well some of us).. That your friend sef too like wahala.. you want to argue with woman because of front seat ? haa

    • Jinmiolu

      April 19, 2014 at 8:28 am

      Oh come on thats been stupid not dramatic. Act like that to someone you don’t know that’s the problem with black women here aggressive that’s why black guys are running away from them

    • Purplecious Babe

      April 19, 2014 at 8:32 pm

      lol o…Aggression of black women???hehe pls stop it already.
      I am indifferent.
      Front sit,back sit etc does not change the price of garri in the market.
      What I do know is,in the past when I have sat at the back sit, my ex would usually check up on me, ask for my hand,squeeze it and peck it etc that way I don’t feel neglected lol not that I would have.

      Personally, I will use discretion as per needed.

    • Fatimah

      April 18, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      What does it matter now? This happened a few years ago right?

    • Strawberrycandy

      April 19, 2014 at 6:03 am

      Well if your friend was already sitted in the front seat when she came out, she should have just jejely sat at the back…I can’t imagine how she would have asked him to move to the back seat without making it an awkward situation or being rude. She too do sef! wetin

    • Sapphirezang

      July 19, 2016 at 2:41 pm

      Respecting your woman( GIRLFRIEND/WIFE) goes a long way. . . you may think, gush! this matter is irrelevant, but these little things do matter. How you treat your woman is exactly how the world will treat her.
      Please dont allow third parties change what has always been. She has always been by your side and all of a sudden , her place is at the back? next, you might be asking her to catch another ride, because the car is filled up with your “BESTIES”, or better still, with time you might tell her… “babe , just manage in the boot of the car” .

  21. ao

    April 18, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    To the back, to the back.

  22. Kilipot

    April 18, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    To me, it’s not a big deal but when I need my man’s attention you better love yourself to the back. One day I went to d salon and already asked boo if he could come get me when I’m done. He said no problem, almost done I called him to be on his way, then I got a text saying “I am coming over with two architects” I laughed and we made jokes about it,I relpied him asking why he was coming to me with 2 architect that I wasnt building a house now. He came around, it was a little dark so I just went for the front door, Lo and behold one of the two was seated there, there was no intention of him moving I jejely went to the back. I was so pissed and cranky throughout the ride to my house, he didnt even “see” my nicely permed and straightened hair,I was so irritated boiling with anger that evening.lool it is funny now but wasnt funny that day…. I did talk about it lol “that one didnt know he was supposed to go to the back when I came abi” my bf was wide-eyed with disbelief and my pettiness, he went on to make a case for him in the line of “ahaaa but baby u know it was dark now bla bla”. I cant even remember but I know it wasn’t so serious at all I wabted his attention at that time but unfortunately I didnt get it.
    Afterall didn’t die at the back, Sooooooo whoever gets there first.

  23. omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com

    April 18, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    Before nko? The best friend should step aside and respect the woman in his friend’s life and if he can’t deal with it he should get his own babe.

  24. Person

    April 18, 2014 at 5:22 pm

    Really?! Grown people are debating this issue? Who cares? It is just the seat of a freaking CAR!!!!!

  25. A.K

    April 18, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    Re: concerned boyfriend, you should be on your Best friend’s side! Your girlfriend is not being considerate!

    • Concerned_Boyfriend

      April 18, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      Lol @ no home training. Let’s just say that event culminated into her role being outsourced to another girl…lol

  26. Kilipot

    April 18, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    BN.Why didnt you publish my comment. Not fair.

  27. ja

    April 18, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    why do people care about front seat self. That’s were people suffer the most injuries,,,me I will seat at the back and get ready for escape in case of anything. LOL

  28. Charlotte

    April 18, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    Personally I really do not mind; after all I can be seated comfy in front and might still be his side chick. Sincerely, I do not see it as a big deal I actually think it’s a bit childish to be dragging for who gets d front seat with his friends.what I do mostly if anyone is there I just scoot over to the back .Since it doesn’t bother me, I might as well let his friend get the seat if it means so much to him.what matters is that I know my boyfriend loves me and I love him too so where I’m seated isn’t a big deal to me.

    • Who Gets the Front Seat?

      April 19, 2014 at 2:02 pm

      Exactly! It’s not a big deal to me either. Even if am already sitting in front, I don’t mind giving up the front seat for his friends. Sitting in front doesn’t make him love me more or change anything.

      “If it’s a female best friend she’s Definitely going to the back seat” No need to argue over that. Her ass better be in the backseat. Lol

  29. Charlotte

    April 18, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    May I add: If it’s a female best friend she’s Definetely going to the back seat

  30. hmmmmmm

    April 18, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    My sister in law married to my younger brother always makes me sit in front I have stopped arguing with her about it. Personally I have no problem with and actually prefer to sit in the back plenty of room etc but she will not here it if I am getting a ride in the car.

  31. Swish

    April 19, 2014 at 1:13 am

    3 is a crowd, after a while it becomes awkward,for sum1 like me who hates sitting at the back.. me thinks its best to just give the couple some space to enjoy there outings alone, let them bond. Hence if ur presence is needed,and they both want you be somewhere with them… be it party, lounge etc,INSIST you can come on ur own,and INSIST you can leave on your own.It may seem a bit prideful in the beginning but trust me when I say, it is better to have your ego,pride and respect.

  32. QinB

    April 19, 2014 at 5:01 am

    It’s not a big deal. Out of courtesy, the best friend should to the backseat though.

  33. Nubian

    April 19, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Re we really disscussing this like serzly …….I want ask does my bf do his best friend, when he goes out who does he come home to meet me…… His best fwend is just going to seat dere once or twice in a week while u ve 5days can’t u share ? I can seat in d boot for all I call so far that ride gets me to d alter am good.

  34. You have to balance both side! I think the best friend should take the back seat.

  35. Singer

    April 19, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Why is this even a topic of discussion? It’s just the front seat! Let the guys have it. I don’t consider myself submissive, but at times like this, we have to be reasonable and let the guys have their space. Just my two cents.

  36. AfroFab

    April 19, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    My husband is the one who insists that I sit in the front, I really don’t care. I always insist the friend sit in the front if the friend is really tall and sitting in the back would make him uncomfortable. As far as our relationship goes, I am definitely the co-pilot of our marriage and I am very secure in that. That makes the whole car issue small potatoes.

  37. adebola

    April 19, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    ebuka a better question would be a girl and her friend male or female. and her boyfriend. should the boyfriend go to the back while the friend sits beside his babe (passengers sit).

  38. ucylo

    April 20, 2014 at 5:07 am

    I didnt really take this as a big deal but am kinda seeing reasons with the comments, my boyfriend loves his BF very much(may be more than me) and am actually beginning to get sick….front seat is permanently for him whenever he’s around, I stay in the same city with my boyfriend but his bestfriend visits from time to time, maybe thats the reason or?

  39. Serendipity

    April 21, 2014 at 12:07 am

    If boo came to pick me up with a friend in the front seat, trust me, will be so happy to pop to the back and be chauffeured around. Will read a book peacefully, paint my nails, check my facebook, my IG, reply an sms, take selfies. the list is endless. I love the back seat jor!

  40. ima

    April 21, 2014 at 1:38 am

    ive just been laughing out loud….loved most of the comments.

  41. Shoogah

    April 21, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    I think the wife/gf should always get the front seat except if it’s the guy’s mom or dad. A scenario like this happened to me some months back and I offered my boyfriend’s mom the front seat but she insisted I rode in the front while she rode in the back….shes’s a sweet lady.

    I don’t even know why this is a debate, people should know their roles.

  42. 25b6437d

    April 21, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    Add meee 25b6437d

  43. chioma

    April 21, 2014 at 10:27 pm

    Wat abt a gal u straffing and a frnd*gal*

  44. Eni

    April 22, 2014 at 10:37 am

    My ex boyfriend doesn’t drive. When we were together, I would always drive with him on the front seat (it was my car). When we picked his friend up on the way, he (the friend) would seat behind. On our return from wherever, I would always claim that I can’t be driving two grown men around and so his friend would take the car keys and I’d be forced to go sit behind while my ex sat on the front seat. It didn’t feel right, after all, it was my car. I always felt I should seat in front but I never wanted to cos a scene cos my ex always behaved as if he was a permanent decoration on the front seat.

    1
    • elsa

      November 20, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      lol @ permanent fixture, well he is your ex now.

  45. Yesha

    April 22, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Lol @Eni why would you want to sit next to your boyfriend’s friend? Your comment has got me laughing so hard. ‘Permanent fixture’

  46. Real Life Doll

    April 23, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    With a bf like mine, as long as I am in the car REGARDLESS of who else is there, I take the front seat, EXCEPT I argue otherwise with him.

    On some occasions I’ve had to ride with his close family members, and even when I suggested the front seat, it was a no to everyone. Except on one occasion when he’s younger bro was in town, knowing they haven’t seen in a while I suggested he take the front seat even when they both thought otherwise.

    These things are just common sense..except a guy has totally no regard for whom he’ s dating

  47. amiphat

    April 23, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    When I was dating le Boo, he went to pick his Aunt (who is a bit older and his paddy) from work.

    Once we got there, I jejelly came out from the front and went to the back seat – you will not believe that single act gave me an immediate pass mark from her when he decided to propose.

    For some people, that seat thang really matters!

  48. Haddy

    April 24, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    I had this ex who would let his best friend know that “the front seat is for Haddy, move your ass to the back, man.” Lol. While it made me feel special, I never really cared about who sat where really. The fact that he did that was really nice and it made his friends respect me much, cos it was obvious Charly wasn’t joking with Haddy. Of course, I always told him it didn’t matter, but he wouldn’t have it and the friends had no choice but to accept that. It didn’t bring any bad blood between us though, cos they all knew it didn’t really matter to me, and also that I’d have let them stay in front if Charly had allowed it. So, there. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal if you’re asked nicely or if you’re not ignored while seated at the back.

  49. Bubble

    December 7, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    Lol! D comments got my ribs cracking! Well one man’s food is another man’s poison! I won’t mind sitting at d back so far I still get my man’s attention every second he drives, looking behind smilin and knowing his woman is happy unless odawise. U struggling for front seat won’t stoo d nigga from having anoda b***h occupying.d same.spot wen u are outta of sight

  50. Iphie

    October 14, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    Interestingly, I have had cases like this. I was on a ride with boo, we went to eat and afterwards headed to his friends place to pick him up. Surprisingly, when his friend showed up my guy said to me “go to d back so my friend could seat in the front”. I was shocked, I felt insulted and embrassed. I never imagined a thing like that could b real and not to think of it happening to me or any other girl out there. Still sitted in the car , lost in thought. I told my self if am ever going to get down from the car , I will have to find my way. While I was fighting d shock, he repeated the shocking statement again. So I decided to leave the car n his friend asked me not to, that I should sit where I was. In order not to disrespect his friend and create a scene I remained calm. I had two options either to remain there or let them both enjoy d ride. I have battled with this for months. Just few days ago, I went to d beach with an old date that is now a new date for my friends birthday. On our way back he told me he wanted us to hang out with his friend that he is already waiting for us In a bar. We got there and it turned out that the bar was dry so they decided to change d venue. Sincerely I never knew his friend was not mobile so when I reached for d front seat, his friend said to me “come sit at d back” with smiles and with smiles also on my face I asked him why. He said because girls are not meant to sit in the front seat at night. My date heard d conversation and asked us what we were talking about. His friend told him everything and I was calm waiting for his judgement. He said to him ” what is the meaning of that? You don’t do that with my woman. How can you possibly ask her to go d back? Baby pls sit in d front” omo I laugh no b small but it wasn’t obvious I did. All these left me wondering, was I being rude or maybe I was trying to maintain my prestige? Was I wrong to some extent? Frankly speaking I hate it when guys make me feel am just a woman and their inferior. That has been the order of the day in my society. Personally I don’t have a thing with the front seat but u don’t have to tell me to vacate it for just a friend I feel it is a show of disregard. If am there first let me be there, if he is there before me, let him remain there. That’s how I see it.

  51. Bella

    October 14, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    BN – these comments had me rolling. Though I tend to agree with most comments on that it doesn’t really matter where you seat, I draw the line at boo asking me to move when his BF is around. That is totally rude and disrespectful and unless I offer to move, which I will most probably do, myself personally, then its not up for discussion. I have been at the back gladly and I feel that it gives me and boo more time to get touchy feely, which highly embarrasses his BF. If I don’t like your friend, he takes the back seat and we may even have to leave his ratchet a$$ behind! Scrubs can be so annoying at times! I also agree that if its someone older (like his aunty, or uncle, dad or elder brother) then do the right thing, offer them the seat. If its your younger siblings, they take the back and rightly give me the seat! The same applies is if I am driving and I have my GF with me, then boo gladly takes the back seat. Throwing tantrums and being de-seated is a high sign of immaturity and lack of self love and respect. Know thyself and thy worth! If I had to ever find myself in a situation of being asked to move to the back seat then realise that the final nail to this relationship has been hammered and we are over. Your boo doesn’t respect you! Small small issues tend to make big mountains later, so make I settle am sharp sharp!

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