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Isio Knows Better: How Many Men?

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Isio Knows Better - May 2014  BellanaijaI sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, but I do confess that I know better than I did yesterday, last year and a decade ago. Isio Knows Better is an attempt to capture the shocking and highly entertaining conversation within myself. The conversations between my mind (the sharp witty one), my soul (the lover and the spiritual one) and my body (the playful one concerned with the more mundane things of life). She is the eternal referee between the caustic mind and the sensitive soul. This is Isio. So, here’s to making private conversations public.

Enjoy!

***
“So, how many exes do you have?”

Hahhaaaaa, see JAMB question. I chewed my Samosa slowly as I gave the questioner a level gaze.

“Two. just two.” I answered.

“Wow, really?”  I could see he had an adonbilivit look on his face.

I gently swished the wine in my glass and corked my eye brows at him askance.

“It’s just that Lagos girls are something else. You know people have two or three boyfriends at once. A plan B for their back ups and then have a main boyfriend tucked somewhere…” He squints at me then continued in rushed breath,  “I can’t believe you are single. Why are you single? “

“I didn’t tell you I was single, you assumed I was single.” I smiled softly. This really was becoming tiresome. What is this, the Lekki Inquisition?

“Oh wow, you have a boyfriend! Lucky man!  Wow. You just broke my heart.”

Nor did I tell him I had a boyfriend. It’s astonishing the conclusions people come to when you don’t really say anything.”

“I am sure you will be fine.” I replied.

“So what kind of men do you date, what happened with your ex? Why did you break up? You seen so calm, I don’t see anything pissing you off…”

“Oh, they are amazing men. Fantastic human beings. I was lucky.”

Apparently, my questioner was not expecting such a graceful answer and it showed. His lips curled in derision as he said…

“They can’t have been THAT great, or you  would’ve married  one of them.”

Uh-oh. The gentleman was gone and the one with the scathing tongue was now out in his place. This one looked like he had unresolved emotions with an ex who showed him pepper. I wished he would leave me in peace. You know how you go out to an event and then you bump into a social acquaintance that has had a little too much to drink and then decides you are his “shrink of the day”.

Oh well… pity he didn’t like my drama-free life.

*chuckles*

Two very wise women each gave me an advice earlier on in life. One was that it is not everything you tell a man, second was that you must never speak badly of your exes or your family to a man you are with. Not to a lover, not a suitor and certainly not your husband.  You would think that sharing your darkest history with a man  (or woman- for our malefolk) would guarantee that (s)he treats you better than the “bringer of darkness” you used to be with… At first I didn’t really understand how that could apply since relationships are supposed to be about love, acceptance and sharing.

Yimu.

When you have fallen stupidly and hopelessly in love and (s)he decides to show you pepper, eh. They would either do what your ex did to you that hurt you so bad, or something so horribly worse that would leave you flabbergasted. If you have a good partner that never brings up your past in an argument or if you are with someone who has never used what you told them in confidence about your family as a weapon to wield against you when you they get angry at you,  well then,  you are lucky. Bless God for them.

It’s amazing how presenting yourself as a past victim in your relationships to a new and fresh “partner” just continues that cycle of victimisation. It’s true. Think about it.

I can’t shout abeg. So as for me,  all my exes are amazing. Full stop. That is all any man needs to know o.

As for the “How many men” question,  it’s tricky sha. Most men don’t like knowing that their future brides, and the mother of their kids have been gbenshed anyhow before their arrival. Some men don’t care. Please use wisdom as it applies o. Somewhere in there, just know that the truth can set you FREE. Pun intended. FREEEE. As in, OYO (on your own).

And before you ask, ‘‘How many exes do you have, Isio?’’ I have only two. Yes, of course. And that is the number I am sticking to oooo, come rain, sunshine, hurricane, snow or earthquake. In fact, you could hold a sword to my throat and demand… ‘‘TELL ME HOW MANYYYY! YOU THIS WOMAN!’’ Walahi, I will still say two. But if you insist, and I see that the sword don dey too near my throat, I will fling my hands in the air and wave them in pitiful surrender and say, ‘Okay three, THREE! Two majors and one minor, abeg ooo!’

Or you could take the high road and be like the MEME below…

*chuckles*
Happy Tuesday everyone!

______________________________________________________________________________________________
Isio Wanogho is a top-model, TV Personality and entrepreneur. She is conversant in five languages and has 12 years of experience in the Nigerian entertainment industry. Isio, popularly known by her brand name Isio De-laVega, captivates audiences with her signature wide smile and relatable, quirky personality which endears her to many. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @isiodelavega

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

82 Comments

  1. Yours Truly

    May 20, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Isio, I can relate – It’s only what a man knows about you that he can use against you. I remember telling an ex that an ex of mine treated me so badly. Guess what? He did the same thing to me. Like you wrote earlier, use wisdom as it applies!!!!!!

    yourstrulyblogposts.blogspot.com

  2. That African chic

    May 20, 2014 at 11:21 am

    lol this is the TRUTH right here…never speak badly about your family to your man…he will surely use it against you come what may…I am not sure about telling your man about bad exes…when someone truly loves you, they just love you…

  3. simi

    May 20, 2014 at 11:22 am

    lols

  4. SMH

    May 20, 2014 at 11:23 am

    Haha! Good one Isio.. I’m all for divulging “important information”. If he wants to know how many guys I hit, then i think its only fair that he truthfully ‘fesses up about the numbers of girls he hit.. What’s the big deal really?????? I’ve had three ex boyfriends and one fling. I’m a grown ass woman and I believe the number game is important to men who do not know what they want. I have seen men wife women who have hit the whole town and the next town for good measure, knowing their past and not caring. I feel if its important for you to divulge, then you go on ahead.
    My one cent.

  5. Iheoma

    May 20, 2014 at 11:24 am

    I thoroughly enjoyed this read… i dunno why but it had me hooked and laughing till the end.
    Isio you need to learn to tell the truth *chuckles*

  6. Grown Woman

    May 20, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Hahahahah Isio i love you for this write up….what i don’t understand is, why would knowing the number of someone’s exes help one anyway? People always use this information against you so its best you just keep your mouth zippped lol..

    • iyke

      May 20, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      someone I know very well out of insecurity, could not forgive his wife because of this ‘How many men’ question.
      Out on a dinner date,after downing a few glasses of wine and in the mood for anyhow talk, na so dude asked the stupid question and lady,innocently and truthfully answered.Next question, how was the sex life with the ex? ….she answered that though ex was mean,abusive et al, but was a tiger in bed with a massive d..k.
      Game over..that was the straw…she had innocently hit her man where it hurt most..
      He never forgave her for that and till today,dude’s ego has been crushed …will never accept that he would be able to satisfy any woman because of the size of his d..k.
      So I tell my fellow men, DON’T ASK. She knows well enough to destroy you.She’s with you not because you are the best,….she’s with you because she chose you and can live with your inadequacies.

    • B!

      May 20, 2014 at 5:30 pm

      That guy is a fool tho…. and he has major issues.

    • Tumzzy

      May 21, 2014 at 7:51 am

      Big fool he is……..mtscheeew

  7. Ogo

    May 20, 2014 at 11:31 am

    This cracked me up silly!! Isio just gets me sha…. Its like we think the same way… Thumbs up to you dear

  8. Priscy

    May 20, 2014 at 11:48 am

    I had a good laugh with this writeup…
    I wonder why your bf, even toaters sef would want to know how many exes you have had. My number too is forever two o, and that’s the truth. Take it or leave it, that one concern you.

  9. ChySparkZ

    May 20, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Kai Isio! What took you so long to start writing! With each article, you just draw me in!!

  10. Eguono

    May 20, 2014 at 11:54 am

    My sister! My sister! You never seize to make a ‘bad intended day’ goooood. I love you for this. And yea! I finally laughed.

  11. Confessions

    May 20, 2014 at 11:58 am

    But what does a woman do, if she has had numerous partners let’s say 20 !? How does she go about “confessing” that? Let the bashing begin….. Hmmmm

    • Que

      May 20, 2014 at 2:08 pm

      Confess what?…..to who?? Why??

    • slice

      May 20, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      I don’t see the point in telling anyone. it’s not a crime and you don’t owe anyone any explanation. still feel like confessing. tell it to Jesus

    • an on

      May 21, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      Cyber high five!
      Its only Jesus that deserves my hones and truthful confession. As for men, information is given on a need to know basis.

    • Ikido

      May 20, 2014 at 9:56 pm

      You can join Ashawo-Anonymous. They have an office in Ikeja, open from 9pm till break of dawn.

    • nene

      May 21, 2014 at 6:53 pm

      my dear you are still living in the 90s. ashewo anonymous has relocated to lekki, where most of their members reside.

    • Person

      May 21, 2014 at 2:42 am

      Confess gini? For what purposes? How is it important?

  12. TA

    May 20, 2014 at 11:59 am

    LOOL! Men and their inane jealousy sha… how come nobody asks men ‘So how many girlfriends have you had? Ehen now. And that is not even counting the ‘chop and clean mouths’ aka one night stands o! Great article as always Isio. Keep it Coming.
    Abegy make I go back to nursing my hot latte jor…its so cold here in South Africa at this time of the year o! Nobody tell me o…!,can’t wait to get back to Lagos ojare
    #Shallat to my Lasgidi peeps,abeg how area? 🙂

  13. Loulou

    May 20, 2014 at 11:59 am

    Isioooooo,you are sooooooo right! I was all for telling the truth with my ex, i told him all there was to know about the ex too, and guess what,he did exactly the same thing to me. I am just getting over it,and he was supposed to be my friend from way back o. I am so taking this to heart, and so from now all my exes, even the downright evil one, were wonderful and them no pass two sef, ok three!. Thank u my darling,love love love this write up.

  14. iyke

    May 20, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I don’t understand why ladies, especially the good looking ones are often asked that question of ‘How many sex Partners / BF they’ve had or been with’.
    I have noticed that when compared to men, AVERAGE looking ladies tend to have fewer sexual partners than their male counterparts … average men are having sex with both their average peers, and ALSO with ladies who are open to having more sex/relationships, with more partners.
    Is it right for a lady to confirm the number of partners she’s been with before meeting her man? Well, I can’t answer that as I am NOT interested in asking such questions …( what you don’t know won’t hurt you) BUT I can probably estimate based on her looks and her experience in bed – If she’s average,not overly attractive and experienced,Yes I could believe her enumeration, if she says that she’s only been with three men.
    But if she’s drop dead gorgeous, especially here in Lagos, hmmmm….e go hard.
    For men, it’s always > 10 and we can only estimate.

    • Isio De-laVega

      May 20, 2014 at 3:34 pm

      @Iyke first, I have to thank you for consistently contributing to my column , as usual, your views are beautifully presented. I appreciate that.
      And for everyone else who takes the time out to read, and for those who take it a step further by commenting, and even those who go the extra mile by sharing any of my literary pieces with others… you have my love and my gratitude.

      xxo

    • CarliforniaBawlar

      May 20, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      Massa’ Iyke you have gawked yourself! You don’t know how being a young lady works. If a young girl isn’t so good looking they tend to have a lower self-esteem and inadvertently more likely to make mistakes…..on the other hand it also plays out that prettier girls may get attention a little too early before they are old enough to make better choices. My point? There are no hard and fast rules with the correlation of looks and girls experiences.
      On the flip side, a 20 something year old, guy/chick who hasn’t been in a relationship also have stereotypes they have to deal with…so in this life you can never win.
      The traffic history of a girl’s heart or punani has nothing to do with the quality of love she has to give to you, so guys should just shut up and enjoy what they’ve got.

    • SMH

      May 20, 2014 at 5:31 pm

      Thank you for this very intelligent comment. Could not have said it better myself.

    • nene

      May 21, 2014 at 6:55 pm

      gbam

    • Que

      May 20, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      My dear this ur calculation is dead on arrival…..if my man applied it to me, he’d fail in flying colours!

  15. www.ANEMISTYLE.com

    May 20, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Firstly Stunning photo Isio! I am all for being honest and as for exes only talk about the important ones i.e the ones I thought about marrying and for most girls that number is very low. The rest in my head were friends, that being said talking about exes in new relationships hardly help, so generally avoid questions or be honest and VAGUE.

  16. Chinma Eke

    May 20, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Oh my stars Isio! You just cracked me up in the office.
    True, I swear, there’s only been one! Even in the knife slices skin!
    So true about people drawing conclusions of their own without you having to say anything. Whenever I’m asked: do you have a boyfriend? I don’t bother replying, ‘cos the ‘asker’ already has an opinion. No time, believe what you will.

  17. slice

    May 20, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    isio i love you girl.

    on this matter of “an advice?” nope. thou must never say that again … 🙂
    what’s the reaction if you’ve had NO sexual partner? it seems guys want you to carefully balance that line between virgin mary and prostitute

    • Que

      May 20, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      You choose carefully who to divulge that to as well….not every passing johnnie needs to know….if he’s really vested in you n the feeling is mutual, then share away, if not laugh at his jokes, drink togera, n keep it moving! E no consign everyone! Some wont believe u anyway, so why stress ur mouth muscles for unnecessary people…

    • Isio De-laVega

      May 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      @Que, thank you jare. Well said…

  18. Eloho

    May 20, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Amazing read! I laughed really hard. Learnt something as well. I kind of agree with not telling a man how bad your ex treated you, from experience they do treat you exactly the same or worse. God help us. It is well.

  19. sum1special

    May 20, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Come rain, come shine, i am forever sticking to two..lmaoooo. Nice write up. Keeping family secrets out of relationships is usually wise. About my past life, well i choose the things i tell my partner. There are some secrets that are surely dying with me. No offense boo. hehe

  20. Lade

    May 20, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Coming from someone who had her “honesty is the best policy” thrown in her face, please do not tell any man – boyfriend, fiancé or husband – how many men you’ve been with. They can’t handle it. For the average man, if they can’t be number one, they want to be number 2 or at most 3. Anything else and they think you are a ho. They will use the info as an ammunition against you right where it will hurt the most.

    For my next relationship, I’ll say “pick a number, multiply it by 100 and you have my body count” shikena. No time for stories that touch the heart and no time to be telling him how good or bad the ex was. I’m with you and I’m happy and that’s all you need to know.

  21. amara

    May 20, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Isio….your style of writing ehn….i sooo loove you.

  22. Joan85

    May 20, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    Isio, humor aside, I learnt something today: all my exes were amazing, end of story! I used to be on #TeamHonesty…reading this made me realize why the last le boo went the way he did *sigh*. But issorait…

  23. Abena

    May 20, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    ALWAYS being a HUUGGGEE fan but first time commenting.ooh girrrl i love you!this write up hits right home and i was laughing all the way especially at the part you said “Somewhere in there, just know that the truth can set you FREE. Pun intended. FREEEE. As in, OYO (on your own).”some men are NOT ready for the truth,they would set you for free by leaving you. Me i stick to four(three permanent,1fling) and that what i am sticking,hurricane or not. But why do men ask such silly question,you donnt wanna know babe…

  24. Que

    May 20, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    Lmaooooo @ the entire write up n holding that knife tonur neck for a confession!! Loooollll n that Meme….tell me about it! Reminds me of a ‘not quite’ rshp dat was DOA, after it ended, like a yr later ibhear one of my friends refer to d guy as my ex, I warmed her quickly n clearly…’…not everyone that can recitebur name and surname graduates to ex biko…’ she had heard it frm d guy, but I was sure to put an end to it going any further!

    Good thing is I no kuku get much to confess, go digging at ur own pleasure, but dont think I’ll let myself be interrogated like a criminal just cos u dont believe me…. to my friends who’ve had this question asked of them and are wondering if to tell or not, depending on d nature of their experiences, some I simply tell..Nne take it to d lord in prayer n leave it there. Cheers!

    • Que

      May 20, 2014 at 6:32 pm

      Pardon d typos…blame fast typing with touch screen…:)

  25. anonymous oh

    May 20, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    Mine is two but I told my husband one cos no time mehn .The second guy was over good in bed,multiple Os guaranteed BUT his husband material can’t sew bow tie. Because my first is far more highly accomplished than my husband, I tell him horror stories about the guy and his shortcomings,making sure to point out that my husband is a better man in every way than he could ever be. It works! My husband falls over himself to please me and I praise his efforts to high heavens to ginger him, *evil laughter *

    • Bleed Blue

      May 20, 2014 at 4:48 pm

      Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

      Oh my days! His husband material couldn’t sew bow tie? #dead 🙂

    • Tosin

      May 21, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      ah, boys.

  26. Bisi O.

    May 20, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Lol love this!! I too have had 2 majors and one minor.

  27. ...just saying

    May 20, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Lol! Is Isi putting herself out there? With the numerous change of display pictures week after week:) Still love you gurl:)

  28. joann

    May 20, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    lol…isio oooh! Neva commented on this blog b4 but Isio jst pushed me to the edge with Laughter… Men will alwayz ask dat question, always!!!4 my own peace of mind,i cant imagine me asking a guy aw many chics he has “gbenshed”.nd even wit a sword tearing my throat, my response will be ONE…

  29. Personal Concern

    May 20, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Being sincere and true to ourselves, this should be a personal concern to us.

    Without even confessing to anyone (or another party involved in this) we “haff to shame for ourselves” knowing how many people we have gone to bed with. We all know that its not actually about what the other person feels about it but the shame of telling someone how many people we have slept with.

    some 10 – 10 bfs/gfs in how many years?
    some 20- 20 partners in how many years?

    And we all wonder why HIV/AIDs patients are on the increase. Majority of them were without protection….

    I want us all to think about these things:

    Am i loose? am i a sex addict? do i need help? is staying with one partner not better for me than sleeping around? does the act have any spiritual implication on my own life/destiny? is there more to sex than just that few minutes- prolly sharing the other person’s problem, curses and ills? if i want to have fun, do i need to sample everyone before i have fun or i can have fun with just one person? whats the correlation between pre marital sex and sexual satisfaction in marriage? Why are many people having problems in their marriage basically due to sex issues?

  30. Peaches77

    May 20, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    Hmm, i guess if i am interested in you, i will always ask about all the exes. I want to know them all and all the details. I find it interesting.

  31. Mz Socially Awkward...

    May 20, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Ah ah, Isio, why are you revealing our “sikrits” to these men like this? Make dem no begin suspect us when dem come BN and after reading your post, the next babe they toast also says “na only two, no more than two!”. 🙂

    Regarding the warped reality that men are more likely to use information of the bad treatment you’ve received from an ex-boyfriend against you… my take on this is that a lot of guys (didn’t say all, hopefully no one stings me for generalization) have an alpha male mentality where they practically thump their chests with pride when presenting you to the world and announcing, “me Tarzan and that’s my woman”. When they discover that this amazing paragon of all things wonderful was actually disrespected by some other man in her past, they start doubting the value of wonderfulness you possess and I think the mental process which occurs then is, “well, if they treated her like trash, maybe her poop doesn’t smell of roses after all?” and that’s how cycle of bad boyfriends continues.

    It also explains the whole issue that men have with other men having had intimate relations with their women. For some inane reason, they just NEED to show you off as a prize for other alphas to envy. If those alphas already know you’re not a prize, he may decide to go hunting for someone else who is. And even if you are, he may get bored and still go hunting.

    • B!

      May 20, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      The flaw behind their reasoning is that they think women are objects. Hence the ” prize” mentality. So they view you as an an object whose value diminishes over time, forgetting that women are ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS.
      Personally if a guy treats me badly based on how an ex treated me, I know he wasn’t right for me anyway and he is definitely NOT the type of person I would want around me, because honestly,if the only value you see in a girl is based on how many men she’s been with, you’re doing it wrong.

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      May 20, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      Das right, sister. Das right.

    • Tosin

      May 21, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      I agree.
      You should definitely, men and women, seek experience as adults in this life.

    • Ada

      May 20, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      Bless you. I always pray for the wisdom to not have a bad cycle, one shitty boyfriend to another, its bad enough that we worry about other things.

    • Sassy

      May 24, 2014 at 7:48 pm

      I do not totally agree with the cause of the circle of bad boyfriends…I know of some husbands who got married to virgins and still treated their wives like crap. What’s their excuse then? No history?

  32. Babe oh!

    May 20, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    My count is zero right now but even that doesn’t go down well with them too. You can’t please everyone, to be honest. I’ll stick to my truth right now, if he no want, make he waka comot.

    Good one, Isio. Keep writing.

  33. Tru

    May 20, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    Isio, dearie, it really is no-one else’s business. We are individually responsible for the choices we make and we will have to live with the consequences. And if #PotentialMister insists on drinking panadol for someone else’s headache, he’s obviously not for me.

  34. B*&^yo

    May 20, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    CHineke!!..see wetin ladies dey discuss, anyhow..Isio made a valid point about the number of exes, let the number be 2. Being a guy myself,I can only stomach 3 or less cos if i hear a babe has had up to 8 bf’s, before GOD and man. I go dey look am with one kain eye O. That is just a natural manly reaction, cos 8 guys means,8 different kisses, and possibly 8 different sexual encounters which the average bros cannot handle.The 3 sef i am saying is with prayer and fasting.

    • Tosin

      May 21, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      An ex told me the thumbrule about how men and women lie. When a man tells you how many exes, divide by 3 to get the truth. Whatever number a woman gives you, multiply by 3.
      Liars 🙂

  35. frances

    May 20, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    I think it was in one of Michelle hammond’s book I read that when he asks you about your past,he isn’t Jesus Christ that will forgive your sins,you don’t have to spill it all.” it was somehow then or whatever but this is me now. Accept or Waka. I can’t shout.lol
    As ususl Isio, I love this + it’s hilarious! Kai! Urhobo bebe

    imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

  36. Tade

    May 21, 2014 at 1:16 am

    The problem I have with my gf is that I asked her question about her past she is the first ever person I dated am 27. When I discovered I have been lied to I started having doubting everything she told me. Even her blood group as well I felt I cannot trust her. She is the my first and I want her to be the last but I cannot take been played on. I have lost some of the respect I have for her. Why would I marry you when I cannot trust you. We are yet to sort the mess. Am not judging her, I just don’t trust her anymore and am think another lady will be worse.

  37. Person

    May 21, 2014 at 2:39 am

    Oh Lord!!! I am so late to this partay!!! :-p

    So, my last ex. I told him everything. Sisters, I mean ERRTHANG – people, dates, time, places, fears, long-term plans! (Yes, I was a learner). #biggestmistakeevermadeth. Kai. This made bobo think he had me and I was never going anywhere. Afterall, who could do me like bobo did me? Yinmu *2. When things went sour, as they are wont to do, bobo went to my house, ostensibly to ask for my Mum’s intervention, but not before managing to disparage my character. Thank God I don’t have any secrets from my Mum because I cannot just imagine how heartbroken she would have been, hearing all that from a boyfriend.

    My younger brother recently said something that has stuck with me, ‘Don’t ever let anyone know the complete story of your life’. I agree with him. Now, I am all #teamkeepmymouthshut #teamnoneofyourbusiness. I can’t shout, abeg. Unless of course they are major issues that you should disclose, e.g, children, STDs, health issues, how does knowing affect the price of fish in the market? If you no like am like that, bros please, waka pass 🙂

    • June girl

      May 21, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      Hmm advice noted! I experienced something similar. Funny thing is the ex has called a couple of times now to chat and I dey wonder.

  38. peyton

    May 21, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    personally i always tell who ever iam with were i have been, what and what, who and what.i believe in being honest i really dont care if you use it against me if you choose to leave shut the door behind you please.but one sure embarrasing question is when you are asked how many men you hit the sheets with and your count is 0.it becomes awkward coz bros is looking like ha this one is a paragon of virtue.and thats not the case.it really matters not what you have done people make mistakes the important thing is learning to move on and get over it.i dont tell every potential toaster my life i dont know you to do that, when it matters it should be told especially if the other party has had a very adventerous sexual past you should speak up as that past will come and find you especially when current party cannot live upto that

  39. Tosin

    May 21, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    I talk easily about my exes. I notice people don’t like that, but c’mon, it’s fun. How many men? 22. And counting. I’m really quiet, conservative, chill, but somehow the number’s up 🙂 They’ve been special people shaaaaa, and I love and bless them.

    • Idak

      May 21, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      🙂

      I love your confidence.

  40. Fade

    May 21, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    This is real. Thanks Isio for this. I’m in a relationship where I told him almost everything about me. Now he does the opposite of affectionate even when all I need is that. Smh, it’s time to act like a lady and think like a man.

  41. sparkles

    May 21, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    Isio, wonderful piece as usual…. the truth u have beautifully laid out. i’ve learnt my lesson mehn , the hard way. i complained abt an ex to an ex and he still treated me exactly the same way. omo mehn, na to dey tell say my ex wasnt bad, we just werent quite right for each other. kapish.. before dem go think say na u sef get problem…. and about family history…hmmm, well, whatever you tell le boo may be used against you later. so speak wisely.

  42. Princessa

    May 21, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    Nicee!!! Hi Bella I sent an email asking about the procedures to get my write up featured. Please kindly reply 🙂

  43. Oh My!

    May 21, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    This article is hilarious. I normally keep guys guessing about number of ex’s too. But recently went on a date with a guy that I really liked and we’ve both been quite honest with each other, doing a whole lotta sharing info. This dude had asked number of ex’s like twice before so on the date, asks again and quite direct too so I had no choice…and I was honest. zero. yup at 23. He was shocked. Kinda wished I didn’t… I was obv operating in #learnermode. *I may also have been mesmerized by his handsomeness but that is by the by.* I have now come or rather I’m now coming to the conclusion, a suitor need not know number of ex’s. That convo can be left for when you become official. Like folks have said…it has nothing to do with the price of fish. You are interested in me because of who I am. The dilemma now is in coming up with witty responses to the direct questions, whilst keeping the chemistry there… :/

  44. D'dream

    May 21, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    Guyz who are so disturb about how many exes a lady has had are guyz with very low self esteem. C’mon ddnt you had ur shares of flick too.

    I for one have never dated . im nearly 30 and the one im dating now, i planned to make it first and last. when we started the r/ship she was the one that brought up the exes topic. she asked me about my exes i told her none, she was surprise as to why a handsome guy lyk me never dated nd when i asked her about her exes, she said enough:End of discussion.

    And before some guyz begin to think mayb i have a problem. i dont have any, not everybody is the same.

    • Tade

      May 21, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      Agree with you I have the same problem but that does not mean I have low self esteem as a woman chooses whom she deem fit in morals and standard so are my entitled and thats why I decide to stay off women until am ready but how do you handle trust when you later discover alot of things outside. Its most embarrassing everyone got a past but I have a right to know and whether we will continue together involves our collective decisions. I think we men are stupid to ask women such rather than get our info elsewhere. Women do there intel too will monitor your phone you facebook account to filter infomation.

  45. Idak

    May 21, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    A drunk friend gave me two rules in his drunken state almost 2 decades ago.
    He said;
    1. Don’t ask, if you are scared of the truth.
    2. Don’t ask,else you’ll be told lies.

    In summary,don’t ask.

    On the basis of those rules,I never asked as it always seemed pointless.Besides, I do not have that alpha male tendency when it comes to sex.

  46. Hadassah

    May 22, 2014 at 11:24 am

    I loveeeee this Isio babe… lol..
    Your articles are hilarious yet make serious brain..
    Omo thanks oo… You just saved me..
    I have just one ex.. meet this super cool dude a while ago and there is a high probability of us being together.
    I was gonna give him full gist on how much of *meanie* my Ex was.. but reading this article has given me a re-think…
    my answer to the ex-inspired questions: ‘he was amazing’
    shikena.

  47. Pascale

    May 22, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    My no. is 1 no matter what…my mouth’s always sealed on that. I ve said that so much so that I actually believe in it myself. *the past’s the past…leave it there*

  48. Haddy

    May 24, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    Some serious sense made here. Wish I had read this before now, but, it’s all good. I’ve learned much from this article and the follow up comments. Thanks.

  49. Odekanmi Benedicta

    May 26, 2014 at 9:43 am

    I find your articles do much fun. You make so much sense with your write ups. Thanks for the thoughts

    Check my articles @ therelationshiphub.com.

  50. zaynab

    May 30, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    this is my first comment here…i disagree with not telling especially when the relationship is serious and may lead to marriage. its better to tell and know if the person can handle your past because there’s the chance that he/she will find out and it will lead to issues….trust me, i’m talking from experience. Honesty is the best policy

  51. Aminah

    May 31, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Hmmm, A Frnd is stl in a situation lyk ds, she is someone dt date Guys jst 4 d fun of it and she has a countless No of exes though she never go all d way, meaning she is stl a virgin, Presently, she met a Guy dt seems Serious and she is ready 2 get serious wt him too, Brother asked her hw many exes she has had, and she limited d No to 2, he asked 4 further details about d Guys and she told him about 2 of d relationships she had that lasted 4 a while, Now d Problem is this, D guy is presently running his Msc Programme and unfortunately for my Friend, one of his Colleague in class is one of d Guys she dated. Once dated briefly , The 2 Guys got talking and D former bobo told d New 1 dt he once dated her girl wen he saw her pix, conveniently leaving out d Fact that it was Brief (didn’t even last a month), Now d New Guy is Angry and Tags Friend a liar cos d Guy isn’t among d 2 she told him she once dated,Their Relationship is at d Brink of Failing bcos of ds…. I will say Pray 2 God 2 Give u a man dt will accept U No matter how Bad ur Past was, Sometimes telling Spoils everything and Sometimes, Not telling does too…

  52. open mind

    June 3, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    I must say that i really enjoy reading your articles and the comments that follow are insightful, experience they say is the best teacher. i told an ex about my family and stuff and he used it against me , i felt really heart broken cos i never expected him to say a thing like that, but it only goes to really know what type of guy he is, his level of maturity and mentality about issues like that which i considered trivial, how much more very serious issues that may arise. everyone has a past, whether good or bad and you know, nothing is hidden under the sun, so i say tell him ,good, bad, ugly, but do so when you are convinced in your heart that he is the one, so that you don’t end up telling every guy the number of guys you dated which in most cases may include the guy you just told.

  53. linda

    June 18, 2014 at 11:51 am

    This article made me realize my mistake in my past relationship. I had opened up to my new boyfy about my first and at that time, only boyfriend and a bit. He initially seemed to understand but I noticed after a while that he was just so insecure whenever my ex’s name came up and still believed I had my heart still after him. it was really disgusting!!!! so now I know, I’d leave you to assume, keep mute or just say they were cool:) thanks Isio. Knowledge gained

  54. eyeballs

    June 18, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    A guy that was into me once told me about his sexual past. as in full details, including being a gigolo. I just did a catwalk away from him on high heels mehn… I no fit shout!

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