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Toke Makinwa’s Vlog: By Force, By Fire Relationships!

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toke makinwaIn this episode of Toke Moments, Toke rocks a short ‘do and recounts her conversation with a few male friends who complain women ‘force the M word’ down their throats, and end up in relationships with themselves!

She calls this ‘by force’ (by fire, by force) relationships, and gives a few tips to find out if you’re in one.

Mmm… does anyone watch Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood? What ‘couple’ does this remind you of?

Find out if you’re in a ‘by force’ relationship by watching the video!

20 Comments

  1. ChelizRuby.

    October 15, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    Lmao! Toke oo!! I just love you for always saying the truth. But you wont blame babes sha,, guys are becoming scarce, so they want to “grab him and go” before its too late. Hehehe! theshapecube.blogspot.com

  2. Miss_Me

    October 15, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    LMAO @ Love and Hip Hop Hollywood!!! Thats so Hazel & Yung Berg

    • Suwa

      October 15, 2014 at 10:15 pm

      Oh my! Exactly what i thought of! Hazel E & Yung Berg…. I have never seen Hazel’s type of desperation, I wonder if shes acting to get screen time cos it bhaddddd! But toke is so right! the desperation is crazy! my bro is 25 and just got a fab job n his gf is already shouting “what are we doing”???? kai kai, she fast tracked the break up. my friend asked for a guys pin from a guy friend and after asking his name and age, she asked when he would be ready for marriage, the guy flew for his dear life! lmao

  3. J

    October 15, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    SPOT ON!!!

  4. aisha

    October 15, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    …Thank you Toke ooooo. Very funny tho but the truth!

  5. Jane

    October 15, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Lol…

    Nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

  6. you know

    October 15, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    i have never watched toke vlog b4, so i decided to give it a shot and she is so right on this one. Sometimes we ladies when we want somethings so much we lose ourselves. I definitely got some points out of this , it is good to be reminded of the basic rules of dating. It gets you in line.

  7. spoonfullofsugar

    October 15, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    I really wonder if there are girls like this and as for a guy being jealous, even married men (selfish I know) are jealous of their single gfs being in relationships so a guy not being jealouS? na wa ! Finally as for stating out that you want to get married? ain’t nothing wrong with that. You have a time span to get have babies, guys don’t. society pressures u to get married. abi dont they pressure the girls in the guys household? The other option will be pretending you don’t wanna get married and complaining inside and that doesnt sound cool to me either. Just dont carry the marriage matter for head like govt work, a guy that wants to marry you will not be afraid to hear it.

  8. Ib

    October 15, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Yessss

  9. PurpleiciousBabe

    October 15, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    #Makesense

  10. Que

    October 15, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Ah, I have been close to guilty on this one, but nne pride saved me…. It is called ‘ihe infatuation ga-eme n’uwa aa’! I once liked a guy so bad, and it was reciprocal for a few months, then the silence started…. saw it happening, so the first few days I’d make excuses on his behalf and call him, we’d chat like I wasnt bothered n we’d go on…. then more silence, days turned to weeks….and…even after silence, he showed up one random day and I went to meet up….after that, I knew I had to start giving myself brain and holding my heart well, and listening to my head… my own no reach ‘what are we doing.?’ Discussions and chasing, but it still hurt to switch off like dat….delete every contact and message…kill any chance of hope!… It saved my sanity though, in the long run… Now I ‘pay my pipers and dictate the tunes.’…No time!

    God keep our eyes open to see thru bullshit!

  11. jide

    October 15, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    Lmao…coming from someone who used vlogs and social media to essentially bully Maje Ayida into marrying her. It is well sha.

    • Oh no you didn't!

      October 16, 2014 at 8:44 am

      LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Just me

    October 16, 2014 at 12:56 am

    Interesting!
    Maturity is key.
    Some women should occupy themselves with better things sometimes that keep their lives more interesting than the men in them.
    Again, I also think it’s all timing on the side of man.
    When a man is ready, no one will tell you. Period.

  13. joy

    October 16, 2014 at 9:21 am

    i just feel TOKE is a very good examplks of byfirebyforce kind of relationship although, hers worked for

  14. joy

    October 16, 2014 at 9:21 am

    12 years with maje ……………………………. wow

  15. susie brown

    October 16, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    so funny

  16. Ms Geeky 30

    October 16, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    I actually disagree (in part) with Toke. Of course, girls should not rush things but it is your right to state and discuss what you want from a relationship. Two perfectly reasonable mature adults should be able to discuss these sorts of Issues wihout it becoming an ‘I AM DYING ON TOP YOUR MATTER’ type situation.. Also, if you have been dating someone for a while and it does not seem to be heading anywhere, then please, have that conversation. It will save you from a lot of grief further down the line.

    Guys talk a lot of rubbish and if you let them, they will waste your time! I mean as Isio said ‘if you turn yourself to sugar, they will lick you finish’. The truth is men complain about girls asking those questions because they are secretly hoping that they can have their cake and eat it i.e date for as long as possible and then move on when they are fed up (after enjoying all the benefits of dating the girl/woman).

    The truth is you cannot run a serious guy off by having such conversations. They run, not because you scared them off but because they were never serious in the first place!
    Girls! Do not be afraid to tell a guy that you want something serious. It is part of knowing your self worth and standing up for what you want! If he wants to run, then he is definitely not the right person for you and likely, didnt have ‘serious’ and genuine feelings for you. Of course, that does not mean you should become a bunny boiler! If he has clearly shown by running or backing off that he does not want a relationship with you for whatever reason, then keep it moving!

  17. man in d mirror!

    October 17, 2014 at 11:43 am

    [email protected] geeky 30, if i may ask, just what r d benefits of dating a woman? besides sex wit a rubber which is meaningless in my opinion. Sex in relationships these days usually comes with a price tag…

  18. No be by force

    October 17, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    My take on this topic, first off, love the vlog, toke… keep up the good work; secondly, girls in Nigeria in particular are under so much pressure to marry, even if they want to test the water small, amebos no fit let them do am. Na so so when you go merry, not marry o, merry. Your mates have married finish. Then the comparison begins. “See Mrs. Gbeske, her daughter has married. Mrs. Amebo, her daughter has married. Even animashaun of lagos, she find husband. Why dont you move close to them and see maybe they can introduce you to some people. All these your single friends, they are no good for you.” Then, the conversation repeats itself, except this time its coming from the aunties. Then the Uncles pipes in, ‘ah, I have a man for you that works at my office, very fine man, you will like him.’ Then you say, to get these parents and families off your back, you agree to meet this man, and he probably has B/O, spinach stuck in his teeth, very very nice almost to a fault, nothing exciting about him and above all, he’s just not what tickles your fancy. So you friend-zone him and the converation from families starts again x 2. More pressure! So when you finally meet someone that tickles your fancy albeit he may not feel the same way about you, you suddenly remember all the voltrons asking, “when are you going to merry?”, then you start popping the marriage question on the first date. Ladies, chill abeg. I personally, I don’t do this play hard to get deal, when a guy ask you out, you know you like him, but you’re playing hard to get. Play hard to get at your own expense, you hear. Im not saying be cheap o, but know what you want and dont settle. Have few guys you are dating and don’t let some guy play skelewu on your fine self.

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