Anyone who has two cents information on finding a partner will tell you to put yourself out there by attending social functions: Weddings, parties, Owambes, events e.t.c. They will also tell you to look your best and aim to impress. While this advice has worked for a some people, it has left some wondering if it is really worth it, possibly after they have attempted a few and gotten nothing out of it.
Well, I took it upon myself to analyse social functions. Please keep an open mind.
I attended a social gathering this past weekend and I took out time to observe the behavioural patterns of the attendees; my findings were quite interesting. I noticed that a social function where people are supposed to mingle and interrelate with one another equally was anything but that. There was a lot of skewed interests and attentions. Everyone gravitated towards the better looking, fun-loving, pleasant and well-dressed people. There was also some attention passed to the popular ones or socialites regardless of how they appeared and the rest just sat quietly and nursed their drinks, wishing they could be more (who says you can’t). If you are looking to attract a very suave partner with less than your best, you will be going home very disappointed.
To make the best out of every function, it is imperative to understand how best they work, or you will find yourself stuck in a not-so-social function. With the exception that you are just going to enjoy good food and music (which can be done in your house), you need to have a plan. There are four categories of people you should look out for in every function: The Life-of-the-party, the wall flowers, the game-scorers and the nitpickers.
The Life-of-the-party garners every attention there is. They are well dressed and pulchritudinous in appearance. They spend their time mingling and walking around. Why shouldn’t they?
The Wall flowers are on the shy or reserved side. Regardless of how the look or dress, they remain relatively quiet and observe the party as it goes on. Most girls need to leave this category.
The Game-scorers’ main aim is to network. They go around exchanging numbers and propositioning the opposite sex. (Married men who take of their rings are in this category by default.)
The Nitpickers won’t dance, won’t drink, won’t smile, won’t mingle and they have a problem with anyone caught doing any of these. They always seem to know a thing or two about everyone in the social gathering.
Any plans of attracting any potentially big partner exponentially increases if you are either the life of the party or a game-scorer. These set of people have the confidence to approach anyone and strike up a conversation and the never show defeat if they are turned down. The world celebrates the interesting.
If you are not in any of those categories, all hope is not lost. You can start by talking to someone or group of people who do not look too intimidating and then work your way up. It is easier if you attend functions with a friend or with familiar faces in them, that way, you don’t feel so out-of-place. At no point must you appear desperate or bothersome. Keep your conversations light, brief and casual to avoid revealing too much about yourself. A little mystery is appreciated. Remember to have a positive, confident and charming attitude; alcohol or a nice smile can help you accomplish this.
Now that you know how these functions work, it would be a more rewarding experience when you are able to turn a not-so-social function into the best possible outcome, while having fun, of course.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Matthias Ziegler