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Etcetera Writes on How to Please a Nigerian Man



EtceteraFormer musician Etcetera is out with a new article and this week he talks on how to please a Nigerian man.

Read his post below:

Is something wrong with the Nigerian woman? Has she lost her beauty and power of seduction? How come Nigerian billionaires and politicians are all of a sudden having preference for foreign women? Or has the money syndrome finally caught up with them?…… Oops! Did you say it’s about time? Hmmm maybe Nigerian men are difficult to satisfy like some of our ladies have claimed. But is that the appropriate excuse? Well, for any woman who truly knows her onions, pleasing a man (whether a Nigerian or not) is never a difficult feat. So ladies, here are some insights to a Nigerian man’s heart that will guide you to becoming the right woman in his eyes.
Submission has got a bad rap in recent years. The feminist movement has even made matters worse. Women are forgetting that submission wasn’t your man’s idea, it was God’s. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18). Men should also know that submission does not mean subjection to abuse. Submission simply implies respect for another’s authority.
Ok sweerie, the premiership ends this weekend. You can now have the remote control from Monday morning. Watch as much telemundo and your Nollywood movies as you can from now till August. Nigerian ladies should understand that the key to a harmonious family life is finding that balance. Your man may not be a professional footballer and probably may not go to the field and play every Saturday, but if you don’t disturb him whenever he is watching his favourite team play on TV, he will love you more. Remember that by learning to love and support his team, you are creating a deeper bond between the two of you. Be on his side, root for his team, celebrate his victories, mourn his defeats. Even the Bible commands us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15) lol…

Every Nigerian man loves food. I mean the actual food. There’s no such thing as a modern or old fashion way. A way is a way and the only way to a typical African man’s heart has always been through his stomach. Coming home from a long day’s work, we enjoy nothing better than a well cooked meal. Remember the story of Esau in the Bible? He was so hungry and was practically shaking after working in the fields that he was willing to sell his birthright to his brother Jacob for a hot bowl of soup! (Genesis 25:29-34). Ladies, when a Nigerian man is not properly fed, he becomes irrational, irritable and vulnerable to temptation. Feed us well not just for anything else, but so you may have peace in the house…. lol
Now ladies, ask any Nigerian man to choose between a delicious plate of soup and no sex or a tasteless meal and a mind-blowing sex, he will prefer to drink garri without sugar and have that mind-blowing encounter with you in bed. Does that tell you something? Babes, you may be everything from smart, charming with long pretty legs and even God-fearing but if your husband doesn’t find you sexually attractive, SHIKENA. A Nigerian man always wants that thing. So, stop holding back whenever he wants it. Adopt the Boy Scout motto that says “always be prepared.” Stop using your sexuality to manipulate or punish him. Our greatest vulnerability is our sexuality, so don’t just go there – No games with that please. Give yourself to him freely every time, every way and everywhere.

The Bible commands you, “Deprive not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Did you hear that? It says even after fasting, you should still give it to him…. Hmmmmm! I love the Bible. No wonder they call it the “perfect book.”
All men want to be successful. But it is so unfortunate that most Nigerian women measure success by what a man has accomplished and not by who he is as a person. It is the role of the woman to help her man see the big picture in life, not through the eyes of someone who wants to purchase every latest trend in fashion, mobile phones and cars. The good book of the lord says, “Better is the poor (man) who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich.” (Proverbs 28:6). So, ladies, always let your man know when he is doing a good job. Praise him for his patience with words like, “I really appreciate that you helped me with the dishes today.” “Thanks so much for emptying the dustbin; I appreciate you honey, even in the small things.” Note that a little compliment to a Nigerian man every now and again works like magic.
Nigerian men are driven by the need for significance. We often ask ourselves this question, “Do I really matter to her?” A man’s thirst for significance can only be quenched in knowing how important he is. That is why we will chase after every vain pursuit only to hear the words, “You matter. You are important. You are appreciated. You are significant.” If a man never heard these words or sensed this approval from his woman, he can spend his whole life chasing someone else who will value his identity.
Support your man at every turn. Be there for him to guide him. This is God’s command for you as the woman. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). A man needs help in the small things like finding our car keys or in bigger things like building a business. It has become one of the most popular sayings that “behind every great man is a far greater woman.”
With men, two plus two is always four. We are a straight-jacket mind species. Maybe it is so because we have always found solace in being logical. And it has proved to be a sure way one can maintain stability in the home, especially in times of uncertainty or danger. But it is clear that men most times lack that natural intuitiveness found in women. Which makes it important, that whenever your man is about to strike a business deal, he needs your input because he might not understand that deep gut feeling you have that something is not right. For a man, if it looks good “on paper,” it is good even when in your heart of hearts, you can smell something foul brewing. Your man needs your intuitive, instinctive, perceptive and discerning insights when making decisions. But as his woman, you should be careful so as not to bruise his ego.
A man is not molded to understand the emotional and dynamics behind the problems that women face. So it is important that the woman doesn’t go running and pouring all her cares, worries, fears, insecurities and troubles on him all at once, it can be very overwhelming. If it is your car that is making that funny noise or something in the house is broken, YESSSSS! he knows exactly what to do instantly. Every man requires that extra training to be a good listener and you will have to working at it until he is there. You can simply start by asking him to listen to you for one minute without interruption and gradually build up his tolerance level. If you throw a fifteen-minute monologue at him, he will freeze up, walk away or get annoyed. Make things simple for him. Spell out exactly what you need, even if it is just a simple hug (and you may want to also explain to him that a hug does not mean you want to have sex!)… because e nor dey hard us to conclude.

Every man wants to come home to a peaceful house after a long day at work. But our women don’t always permit such a luxury. We want tranquility and control in every aspect of our lives; that is why we sometimes do everything possible to create an atmosphere of peace and serenity. It is also why every man dreads a nagging woman. A nagging woman drains us of body vitamins and morale. If you nag your man, he will distance himself emotionally and possibly even physically. The Bible says, “It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” (Proverbs 25:24).


  1. cookies

    May 23, 2015 at 8:05 am

    *sigh*…*walks away*

    • Seriously

      May 23, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      This must be a joke. Walks away too….but before I walk away, I’m not a feminist but I’m a human being first. I made a decision long time ago only irresponsible, insecure men still want to live out their chauvinistic ways. And only confused, low self esteem women still follow such. What gives a mere man such entitlement? Do I owe my life to you? Absolutely not. There’s less articles about how to please God, your maker or even parent who gave birth to you but thousands of same stupid articles on how to make a man happy bcos he has a penis? I don’t care for such but it will be refreshing to write one, “how to please a nigerian woman” from different perspective. People claim women are too complex, still write one. As a woman I have much more greater responsibilities than to be a dummy or robot for another human being. Women have done everything to please men for decades even at their own detriment. It hasn’t worked and will never work. Why should a human being be more entitled to better treatment than myself? Men have taken advantages of it, abused it and failed at returning same gesture. But still have same high foolish expectation while some of these women lose themselves and suffer while enslaving themselves for someone who could care less or doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge anything.

      True love/relationship is based on respect, and understanding for each other which includes pleasing and making both parties happy. It’s a two way thing. Just like my boss, I don’t treat him higher just because you are a step higher than me. I demand my respect. I don’t treat a doctor better than the cook in the hospital kitchen. We are all human being, let’s go back to the basic fundamental of life. Respect and love.

    • aaewhy

      May 23, 2015 at 9:53 pm

      Gbam! Best comment ever

    • tbn

      May 23, 2015 at 10:37 pm

      I love your comment 100 times. When I finished reading the post I just said “f**k you” under my breath. What a senseless post. The world has moved away from the so called please men phenomenon in case you haven’t noticed. Those foreign ladies you say the Nigerian men marry show them pepper most of the time, but the men are too scared/arrogant/ashamed to leave them just to save face. The shit these men expect from Nigerian women they would never expect from the foreign women they marry., instead they are as docile as anything. Who says Nigerian women too can’t go and marry foreign men who know that respect go both ways, love and cherish their women with all they have? Abeg you have no business writing on this site Mr man. mchewwww.

    • A

      May 24, 2015 at 9:22 am

      Madam; 1000 and one kisses for you. Abeg, you are a feminist! and I love you for this – don’t be ashamed of owning feminism – it isn’t a dirty word. A feminist is someone who fights for equal rights.

    • Seriously

      May 24, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      In addition, there’s no woman that supports their man than nigerian women. And, nigerian women are some of the strongest, supportive, hardworking women I know. Divorce, is very high in the U.S bcos American women and men don’t take to heart what it means to say till death do us apart which includes low. I know, nigerian women who make more money than their husbands yet still treat their men like kings. They work a lot, respect yet still come home to take care of their husbands. Nigerian men don’t know what they have and don’t appreciate. They always praise foreign, non Nigerian but none of these women will take care, respect and take their sh*t the way nigerian women will. Now, many nigerian women are recently fighting, protecting themselves which is overdue. Nigerian men and women respect each other.

    • Ehinomo

      May 24, 2015 at 6:12 pm

      I feel you, it’s so frustrating that African men feel so entitled, many of them aren’t even worth the sweat on ur brow. He even has the audacity to quote scripture. I really wish we African women will rise up against such chauvinistic characters and try to be independent.

    • Dicoron

      May 24, 2015 at 10:51 pm

      Nah bad thing to be feminist?

    • ssah

      May 25, 2015 at 9:04 am

      God bless you @seriously…

    • Damilola

      May 25, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      I love your comment bcos u hit the hammer right on the nail. Naija men should be ashamed of themselves bcos they have given the whole country a bad name abroad. Non naija women I know that dated naija men have negative upon negative things to say. There are plenty of half American, oyibo, Asian, Spanish, etc children that their parent divorce or broke up which means many of these women couldn’t handle the wahala that comes with naija men. Is it the cheating, lying, even bad smell etc And if other women are so perfect, there won’t be divorce or unhappiness in their marriages. Naija men put oyibo women on pedestal but these men act like mumu around them. At the end of the day, naija women handle a lot. Unfortunately, naija men don’t know what they have. Anyway, there are still many good Naija women and men out there. Can we just learn to respect each other and if you truly love someone you will naturally want to please and make them happy including making the women happy

    • Damilola

      May 25, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      Other women complain about how selfish, controlling, unromantic, etc naija men are. So, I don’t know what’s he’s talking about.

  2. timmy Tim

    May 23, 2015 at 8:06 am

    Infact, I have no comment to this outrageous post!

  3. Aj

    May 23, 2015 at 8:07 am

    Are you speaking to married couples? Because the no denial of sex part except during prayer and fasting is for married couples.Plus why does it always have to be about pleasing the man? How about when the bible says husband love your wives as how Christ loved the church? Are men willing to give up their lives for their wives? Are they willing to die to themselves and present their wives spotless to God? When men love their wives unconditionally submission follows naturally. If I am confident in that love that you have for me, you won’t have to prompt me to submit. So I don tire for all these how to keep ur man and please ur man. Relationships are partnerships both parties matter.

    • cindy

      May 23, 2015 at 9:16 am

      Infact I don’t tire. See the isokuso. If he wants to watch football give him remoye bla bla bla. Wehn will men learn to male sacrifices na? I have seen a lot of mothers who would watch cartoon network not because they want to but because their children want to. Imagine your one year old child crying and disturbing the household for cartoon and hubby says no, I’m watching football. I’m sure if you ask hubby to let pikin watch cartoon, him go talk say you no get respect. Please let’s be objective.
      And please it irritates my spirit when you people use the bible to justify your selfishness and lack of consideration. Stop quoting the bible in part. Don’t just read it, meditate on it and let the holy spirit guide your understanding. God is not one way traffic. A bible verse can mean so many different things to different people.
      Finally, please stop thos bandwagon hate for feminists. Pick up your dictionary for once and check the real meaning of feminism. Don’t let the media feed you with lies. Your mother is able to build a house in her name today because of feminists. Your wife is able to get education today because of feminists. Ladies are able to dress comfortably in trousers today because of feminists. Feminism =/= disrespect. Being submissive =/= not having a say. You men should put yourself in a woman’s shoe for once. You talk so much about this ego, you wouldn’t even want another man ride you yet you want to ride a woman. That is you being a weakling. You can’t even submit your lives to God completely yet you want another human being to submit completely to you who is human. Did you create women?
      Finally, please don’t normalise this word “ego”. It is deceit from the pit of hell. I pity you, keep following the band wagon to destruction. You should have seen the utter shock on my face when my pastor said men have ego with so much confidence. I did my research all I saw was pride in the scriptures. We all know what God says about pride.
      I must say I’m really disappointed in you etcetera. I thought you were above this.

    • bims

      May 23, 2015 at 1:05 pm

      That is the problem with the Nigerian man mindset, this their pride and ego nonsense is like a deep sickness in their mind. Many of them including so called Christians torment their wives, belittle them and use scripture as their basis with ‘SUBMIT’ to me I am your god, it is what the Bible states! This behaviour on its own is anti-Christ behaviour and sadly many of them don’t know. Show me a typical Nigerian man that truly LOVES his wife? When I say LOVE I am not talking of the sex love or the she cooks well for me so I love her. I am talking about the love that Christ has for his Church, in that the man sees his wife as being someone he should protect when she is weak, care for when she is sick and cannot cook the African soup he so likes, etc. Look at many Nigerian men including pastors, once their wives dies they don’t waste time to get married to someone else ( some in as little as 6 months or a year). Nobody blames them about their husband’s death. If it is the other way they would say the woman was a witch and she will continue to mourn the death of her husband forever ( she dare not say she wants to remarry! They will take the kids from her). Women must please their husbands all the time right? What does the husband do to make his wife happy? Many of our husbands don’t even know our shoe sizes, the types of perfumes we like, our favourite novels, what makes us cry, what makes us happy. In the average Nigerian household it is the man who is to be pleased all the time. What makes it so annoying is that when these Nigerian men marry foreign women they become lambs to them. Our women are sought after by many foreign men as wives because they keep on telling me that Nigerian women are too good to be true! But you know what? Our men have brainwashed our self esteem to the point that when oyinbo men even want to die for you and marry a Naija woman, she will be scared of what people will say, as in so you can’t marry a correct Naija guy? It is this weak oyinbo man that you want to marry? Ah! Nigerian women! I salute you where ever you may be, you all are priceless jewels!

    • spicy

      May 23, 2015 at 5:22 pm

      I wish I could like this comment a thousand times ( now I miss those days we could abuse the like button) I am so sick and tired of this Naija mentality ! That’s how my boo moved back to Naija and has started misbehaving, telling me I need to learn submission, nonsense he was not chatting when he was here in London..sigh

    • Ama

      May 23, 2015 at 10:18 pm

      Gbam #word. My sentiments Exactly. Kwasias3m!!

    • ssah

      May 25, 2015 at 9:11 am

      Gbosa for you. I keep saying people should stop normalising the word “ego” as if it’s right. truly the average person has an ego but we should all submit our ego to God. for some their ego is larger than their relationship with anyone even God and you’ll be shouting about the ego as if…

    • lisa

      May 24, 2015 at 12:52 am


  4. Jo!

    May 23, 2015 at 8:11 am

    Oshi wo leleyi nso?

    • Sir Harvey Dent

      May 23, 2015 at 9:16 am


  5. cindy

    May 23, 2015 at 8:40 am


  6. Zandyzay

    May 23, 2015 at 8:48 am

    Nice piece…. but this article makes me feel like women do not work all day too

  7. lola Carey

    May 23, 2015 at 9:04 am

    All these things for just one man?pls what are the men supposed to do for their wives.we ‘uve seen number of articles on how a woman should worship her husband.we need more on how a man should worship women also.rubbish!

  8. Dollz

    May 23, 2015 at 9:07 am

    I think men should start advsing themselves on how to please their women.

  9. Sir Harvey Dent

    May 23, 2015 at 9:08 am

    All my Nigerian beautiful girls, religious or non-religious, this is the only verse in the bible they close their eyes to-

    ““Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18). Men should also know”

    They would quote the entire bible for the man to perform but close their eyes to this verse.

    A man is a man, fine, rich, ugly or broke.

    It’s your choice to chose well, when you have chosen, commit and submit to him.

    Bond and be friends.

    The difference between Nigerian girls and Non-Nigerian girls is the BOND they create with you as a boy-friend.

    See let’s not even categories Nigerian girls living abroad as non-Nigerians.

    The ones living abroad, especially those ones that were born and raised in london or America, they are worse.

    They have watched too much TV they their primary aim is to have equal rights with a man.

    When they can’t find a man in London or America to tolerate their wahala, they would come to Nigeria on holiday, try to use “I am a British or American Citizen” to blind Nigerian boys eyes, IF YOU MISTAKENLY MARRY THEM, you are in trouble for life!

    Back to relationship, sorry for deviating a little. Find someone bond with them, most importantly have good conversations (STOP GOSSIPING), plan trips together, doesn’t have to be LONDON DUBAI OR AMERICA, IDANRE HILLS in Ondo is there, different places.

    If any one knows @toolzo pls tell her that her boyfriend she said doing shakara for would soon leave her, all that MOGULETTE she’s doing up and down, oh u rè a Ja!

    It’s time to get married TOOLZ, if you don’t like him enough to marrying him, leave him alone.

    • Thatgidigirl

      May 23, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      Please sip slowly before you choke on your cocktail of Inferiority complex, lack of confidence and stupidity.

    • Chichi

      May 23, 2015 at 1:42 pm

      I’m sorry but what does “Their primary aim is to have equal rights as men” mean? First of all, WOMEN HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS AS ANYONE ONCE THEY ARE BORN. It is only in Nigeria(and other blinded parts of the world) that when a women takes a stand on an issue, she is considered to be rude and unsubmissive. This is why most Nigerian women that are brutalized everyday cannot say anything because everyone will blame her and tell her to go back to the predator(even her own family). We as a people need to stop entertaining ideas like Etcetera’s and realize that a relationship is a two way street. You cannot expect perfection and submission when you are being unreasonable. You cannot always expect freshly cooked meals from a woman who works and takes care of the children without your help. You have to put in something to have an output. And finally, what is up with the “always thank them for taking out the trash” statement? Do you thank me for cleaning, cooking, washing and ironing your clothes, carrying and taking care of your children, among the other things I have to do? Please be reasonable in your requests and maybe more young Nigerian women would be willing to marry you and not go to other countries to find men that are willing to treat them better.

      P.S. I pity for the wives of Etcetera and these men ranting. I hope the ranters and Etcetera go and marry from the foreign country that he is talking about so they dont brutalize good Nigerian women.

    • Naijalikita

      May 24, 2015 at 12:11 am

      I am a woman and I don’t want equal rights with men because we are not equal. Until a man can carry a baby for nine months and subject himself to the physical, mental and emotional things I endure, we are not equal. Rather than push for that, let’s push to be treated as humans. When we see each other as humans and not property, then a proper conversation can begin.

    • falala

      May 23, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      SO they shouldnt have equal rights?

    • Seriously

      May 24, 2015 at 12:14 am

      First of all, the scriptures also says men love your wife the way God loves the church which means the man must have a solid truthful relationship with God. Not just any useless, irresponsible man. A man has to show that he has what it takes to be a leader. She can only submit to a respectable, a man that truly loves and faithful to her. A man is cheating, verbally/physically abusing his woman and she’s still expected to submit. And when it comes to decision making two perspectives are important. With life, it’s good to hear from another mouth. So, a man shouldn’t be left alone to make solely all the decisions. Some men make the worst decisions in running the family and still want their wife to stupidly submit instead if asking her of her advice or perspective.

    • M.o

      May 24, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      You sound hurt

    • Sir Harvey Dent

      May 26, 2015 at 8:32 pm

      I posted this comment some days back, today Toolz is Engaged.

      Haha, there’s power in the Bella naija forum.

      My phrase of “having equal rights with a man”, doesn’t imply women and men are not equal.

      My point is ALL they fight for is equal rights with MEN, abandon their roles as women.

      Trust me, am not speaking in support of them rather shameless married men, with 101 Instagram Facebook and Twitter posts of “I LOVE MY WIFE” and still chasing girls.

      Some of the same girls would like the pictures sef.

      Uncle Dangotes story would soon make the news.

    • Ada

      May 27, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      I hope u are now biting ur tongue? Now she’s engaged wat do u have to say? People that wont mind their business. Social media has given every idiot to spew rubbish. Big goat

  10. Rosie

    May 23, 2015 at 9:16 am

    Now single guys will think this is for them too, smh

  11. Adeleye Oluwatosin

    May 23, 2015 at 9:22 am

    This past 2 weeks or so,we av beein aving post on how a woman shld keep/please her man. O gi ni??? It is very tiring..una wan drain person?? Which one we go follow. Most women take d back seat jst to make sure her home,family nd most importantly her Man is Satisfied. But still,Some men dnt appreciate. Our men need d GRACE of God not to fall into d viles of seductive women.. All d same,He’s making valid point,coupled with d fact of using d bible as a reference..

  12. Diddy

    May 23, 2015 at 9:33 am

    Guy stop to dey look for women trouble,dem go treat ur fuck up ooo,u get luck se u no dey come out for public square dey yarn this tin,dem for crucify u with dia mouth,let the women be pls

  13. Grace

    May 23, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Great advice. Thanks!

  14. bruno FIERCE

    May 23, 2015 at 9:39 am

    the old me would have rained fire and brimstone down on etcetera. but today, I won’t.

    I have decided to stop siding u women cause many of you women on this blog are terribly homophobic.
    the hatred many of u women expressed in a previous article about homosexuality was appalling to say the least.

    so from now on, I will sit back and let useless straight nigerian men walk all over you women, cause lets face it, they can. they have the power to oppress u women and u can’t do anything about it.

    infact I have decided to start dating women just to make the woman I’m dating suffer and oppress her and break her confidence. i will date her just to play with her feelings and emotions , and take her on a ride just to break up with her in the end.

    abi u want every guy in nigeria to be straight and act like a jackass, I can do that. watch and see.

    • cindy

      May 23, 2015 at 11:01 am

      Bruno, so the men are not “homophobic? Whatever makes you sleep at night #okbye

    • No dulling

      May 23, 2015 at 11:34 am

      To whom it may concern. May God forgive u but may Karma damage ur self esteem and punish u for ur ill intention towards women. You dont have respect at all. U are broken already. U need pyschiatric help.

    • smh

      May 23, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      just make sure you are not HIV positive Bruno. don’t carry stds and other diseases from doing a man like you biko.we have other things to worry about in Nigeria lol ps, if you are proud of who you are,i dare you to reveal your true identity if not shut up immediately!

    • falala

      May 23, 2015 at 4:19 pm

      @smh do straight people not get HIV too. Love your neighbour….

    • FinchleysFinest

      May 23, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      @Bruno : The very first time I’m seeing you post something so meaningless ….Shoro Niyen?

    • mechell

      May 23, 2015 at 5:52 pm

      this topic has been overflogged right?
      so why do you all come out in quantum to reply craps like this,almost bursting your arteries in d process.
      who is etc? Isn’t it obvious he is seeking cheap attention? He blabs even in ages past.
      Rest your pretty heads ladies. Guys like this ain’t worth it.

    • Meeee

      May 23, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      Actually Bruno, Nigerian men are more homophobic than Nigerian women, I can tell you that with confidence because I have listened to the men around me discuss homosexuality. I feel so sorry for you. You accuse women of homophobia but you are no different, you are also filled with hate, just a different hate- a hate for women. I notice that a lot of your comments about women are hateful. You are no better than the homophobes, in fact you are worse because you are vindictive but in denial of how hateful you are. I know gay people like you, in fact, a friends father was like you. He married a woman for twenty years, knowing fully well that he was gay and treated his wife like crap. He ended up losing everything when the marriage ended because his children hate him because of his lies and vindictiveness. Please do not take out your hate on an innocent, unsuspecting woman, that will not change homophobia in this world.

    • Ekyblink

      May 23, 2015 at 10:42 pm

      You sound more like an imbecile.

    • Kole

      May 24, 2015 at 11:45 am

      Bruno fake, see that 3 legged chair at the corner of shut the eff up and nobody cares, try and help yourself and have a seat in it because nobody cares about thewhatbthe old you or the second hand you has to say.

    • Damilola

      May 24, 2015 at 11:32 pm

      Obviously, you have personal issue with women bcos u see us as competitor or threat for you. We don’t need your defense. Infact, focus on your life bcos you sure need a lot of help.

    • Sarah

      May 25, 2015 at 4:31 am

      Haba! Lol. Don’t be mean. Not everyone is homophobic. And how do you hope to hold heterosexual relationship

    • gia

      May 25, 2015 at 9:27 am

      “I have decided to stop siding u women”

      Jesus christ,this man can LIE!!!!
      When exactly did you side with women,specifically nigerian women???

    • Godsangel

      May 25, 2015 at 2:39 pm

      Bruno so ur nt a straight guy? Jesus loves u and can help u see the light…commit ur heart to him and confess ur sins he is able and just to forgive u….leave anal sex alone.

  15. NAms

    May 23, 2015 at 9:40 am

    All i read is (blah blah blah man blah blah man blah blah blah man blah blah blah man …….) okay ohh we heard you but give us a break joor GOD wasnt this unfair to think of only men sha dont just quotes what suits you out of a bible joor that one na big time SIN

  16. ada

    May 23, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Another selfish man speaking his mind! Men are not the same. What pleases one man does not necessarily please another. Besides, these so called foreign women complain about our men not being faithful. Alex akinyele’s Indian wife left him. I know other foreign wives who left their nigerian husbands because they couldn’t cope with interference from inlaws etc.
    In as much as he writer is entitled to his opinion, there are still millions of nigerian women who are making their husbands happy. I A A MAN TREATS A WOMAN RIGHT,HE BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN HER. It has nothing to do with nationality, its the individual involved.

  17. wagamama

    May 23, 2015 at 9:45 am

    I didn’t read the article (bite me!), seems the frequency of publishing these sort of “advice” articles aimed at women keeps increasing……..
    i came here to yawwwnnn!

    In other news, as usual i mixed mr muscle, dettol and harpic toilet cleaner for ubber shiny toilet\shower/sink cleaning effect. The smell stung my eye, nostril, skin….and when i was done, i realised my entire room was all fuggy (brilliant sparkly toilet tho)……..

    I think i poisoned my self….

    This is not the first time….

    Is my OCD going to kill me?

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 23, 2015 at 10:56 am


    • Thatgidigirl

      May 23, 2015 at 1:15 pm

      @ wagamama on a serious note, mixing cleaning agents sent my friend to the hospital. I think she did bleach and Mr muscle, and choked on the fumes. Easy pls, we still need u here. Tans and God blex

    • Anon

      May 23, 2015 at 1:38 pm

      Ignorant and dangerous of you to do. Did you not do chemistry in school? You can’t be OCD if you didn’t read the back of the Harpic container. The mixture created hydrochloric acid, which reacts with ammonia to form toxic chloramine fumes. Drink some water to clear your system.

    • Shobie

      May 23, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      @Anon, ….did you say ignorant…? What is with you this mannerless twat. Can u not share ur opinnion without abuse?

    • Anon

      May 23, 2015 at 9:18 pm

      shobie you are quite dense. For a simpleton like you, I will explain: it was an ignorant thing for her to do. I didn’t type that she was an ignorant person. Go back to Nursery school to learn semantics. Nitwit.

    • Shobie

      May 24, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      @Anon, U must be a very miserable woman. 24/7 U ar on BN posting nonsensical and diffident opinion on every post. Anyways, l don blame u. Trust me l don’t. The only reason l can think of for this bitter existence is loneliness in all its ramification. Get a life. Leave blog alone for a few hrs. Go to the theatre. Go to the market. Go talk to ur next door neighbor. Go cook for the homeless. Go talk to some real human beings and stop fighting imaginary enemies. Put Isaiah 48:22 to shame. GET A LIFE!

    • Anon

      May 24, 2015 at 4:19 pm

      Now who is the mannerless twat? Frustrated non-entity. Read your comments again and if you aren’t the one then you are clearly mental. You abused and put a Bible verse? It’s only a bipolar fool who does that. You can now have the last word. Utter nitwit. Abandoned goat.

    • Anon

      May 24, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      It takes a frustrated and manner-less person like you to know one. Waste of space. Abusing in one hand and quoting a Bible verse on another hand is typical of an insane person. You can have the last word. Utter nitwit.

    • Nahum

      May 23, 2015 at 2:08 pm

      I love you for this comment LMAO!!!! There is no need to address this fool called Etc. when a man can create a woman, then he will deserve the right to be worshipped.

    • Ime&Ekaette

      May 28, 2015 at 11:35 pm

      @Anon, Na so d abuse pain u reach? You think u ar d only one that knows how to misbehave. You don jam!

    • oreos

      May 23, 2015 at 7:14 pm

      You are AWESOME!!! Let no one tell you otherwise.

    • A

      May 24, 2015 at 9:33 am

      My dear; I am currently posted to a “rig” and trust me, the kind of cleaning I have to do on my toilet is of PhD standard. My first time here, I got an infection and when I climbed up the hill to the Dr office, he said he doesn’t have anything for women problems. I rather catch something from cleaning agents as the Dr is more likely to have something to treat me with

    • Shopperoflife

      May 24, 2015 at 12:08 pm

      You hv ur own toilet on a rig?

    • peyton

      May 25, 2015 at 11:51 am

      Dont do that again use only one cleaning agent i tried it once i almost passed out.They each have cleaning agents that should not be mixed together. You could pour bleach daily just before you go to bed bleach only oh. Then use ur regular toilet cleaner alone as well.

  18. ada

    May 23, 2015 at 9:46 am


  19. confused23yrold

    May 23, 2015 at 9:49 am

    This maybe a bit off, but bn please post this. Talking about submission, I have been in a 3year relationship with an amazing guy, the thing is we are both currently jobless. So we’ve been struggling to carry on, I assist him with money when he needs and he does same for me atimes. After moving out of my former house, I wanted selling some stuff there. This morning he called that I shouldn’t sell some of those things, he needs them in his house bcos his room mate just moved out carrying the TV, ac and all. While I need to sell the things in my former house inorder to complete my rent, from which I had borrowed my bf some money from. I told him no, that I need the money from the proceeds to settle the one he borrowed from my rent earlier and the landlord is on my neck. I have never refused him anything, we fed on my nysc allowance together and everything. But this my refusal is somehow to him. I don’t want it to be like am stingy or selfish. I know they’re few women that spend on their men. Am worried I may lose my relationship cos of this. Maybe it will seem like am not submissive? Bn, it’s long and a bit off the topic. But pls post it?

    • ada

      May 23, 2015 at 10:59 am

      My sister, in as much as you want to keep the relationship, don’t do it at the expense of paying your rent. Put yourself first. The only bring whom you should not displeas is God!

    • No dulling

      May 23, 2015 at 11:42 am

      Confused girl. My honest advice dear. Pay your rent. No man is worth putting off your dreams for except if he had made sacrifices for you. Once u dont have a roof over ur head ur value will reduce in his sight. If u moved in with him u become a liability. Ladies always have something materialistic to hold on to. The men aint smiling these days. Goodluck

    • Toyin

      May 23, 2015 at 11:05 am

      But a roof over your head is more important than his need for entertainment and AC comfort. Right?

    • Happy feminist who does not hate men

      May 23, 2015 at 11:10 am

      My dear, if your man cannot understand that you need that money to pay bills, this may just be your queue to leave. Does he want you to sleep on the road? Be wise. If he’s already making such demands before you’re married, it’ll only get worse after. He needs to put your welfare ahead of his desire for a television for heaven’s sake!

    • Happy feminist who does not hate men

      May 23, 2015 at 11:16 am

      ‘Cue’ to leave. Pls excuse that stupid stupid error.

      And did I read Confused 23year old? Honey you’re wayy too young to be burdened with a man’s issues. Please focus on your life, family and career or whatever you have going on that can put food on the table with or without a man.

    • Dr. N

      May 23, 2015 at 11:20 am

      Nne, u are not in a relationship. You are feeding a man who has no plan to marry u. The Bible said “Wives submit to your own husband”, not submit to a boo who is borrowing money from u. Let this be d test. Stop giving him money, sex, etc, see if he won’t show his true colors. Thank me later

    • Kunmi

      May 23, 2015 at 5:18 pm

      A million likes for this comment. Submit to husband, not boyfriend. @Confused23yrold, you have nothing to prove to him or anyone else about how generous you are. You need rent, he needs a TV and other stuff in his house. It is wickedness in high places for him to ask for those things when he knows that you need the money to pay your rent. Life is hard enough without adding homelessness to the mix. Finally, take time out to think about your relationship because this guy does not sound amazing at all. Not many people see red flags as obvious as this one before they tie the knot.

    • m4

      May 23, 2015 at 11:42 am

      Come on girl! Stop being confused ok?! This get nothing to do with ‘submission,stingy or selfishness’.You are trying to complete your rent here, and what else does he want you to do.huh? To give him those stuff and be thrown out of your apartment or what?.If he can provide the balance or has an alternative solution then is fine…Besides he was the one who borrowed some of your rent money (as you stated).
      Girl be wise and do the right thing.I just detest when some men are taking advantage of some weak and vulnerable ladies.

    • LotusFlower

      May 23, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      That should not be your worry. Your worry should be that YOUR MAN is more concerned about luxuries than your rent/roof over your head!!! Wow. TV, AC- all luxuries; he can survive without them until you guys get back on your feet. He is really out of his mind. You better go and sell those items so you can complete the rent. Do you want to end up homeless?
      I can’t believe that your worry is about your not appearing submissive. Open your eyes, you have bigger fish to fry, both in terms of your living situation and your man!!

    • Tosin

      May 23, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      the truth may be bitter, but here it is: you are blessed enough to be enterprising and sensible. you do not need a man. people like you would be better off not wasting time with the baby boys around here. run your life, bless others, you can rent/buy a nice young guy anytime you want. reference: Mariah Carey. I’m not saying be cold or don’t love, I’m just saying know yourself, you are this bobo’s senior in many ways. if you don’t feel like seeing him anymore, thank him for his services and move on.

    • Person

      May 23, 2015 at 10:19 pm

      Errm, Maybe because I live abroad, but dem never born the man that will collect my rent to buy AC and TV. (This is the implication, since you are selling the TV and AC to pay your rent). Nigba ti o owo were!Abi ko ma sinwin! Olorun ma je ka ri kose daada o, but not even my PARENTS can collect my rent to buy AC and TV (And trust me, they MORE than deserve it. They have suffered too much for me and my dreams). In the US ehn, your rent is due on the 1st of every month. Most places have a grace period to the 5th. After that, late payments fees and eviction are knocking on your door. Homelessness is not far off and then, you become a liability to yourself and the country. What you should be asking yourself is why your boyfriend values his comfort over your own. And why you feel guilty for not loaning him. O ga o. Better talk to your legs, my sister. We don’t want to hear stories that touch when things go sour!

  20. T

    May 23, 2015 at 9:50 am

    This article is so sexist, it’s disgusting.Etcetera never gets tired of chatting rubbish

  21. Rs

    May 23, 2015 at 9:52 am

    What a nonsense!!

  22. Ada Nnewi

    May 23, 2015 at 9:53 am


  23. Bruness

    May 23, 2015 at 10:23 am

    All these manuals on how to keep a man. #smh# cook for him, sex him all the time, support him, support his club, be available 24/7. SHE has no life, no voice, no aspiration, she’s just a door mat who can’t speak her mind, who can’t say she’s tired, who slaves YES!! I said it slaves all day. This is what brought about feminism. I’d rather a woman who supports whatever football club she likes, gives us something to argue and brag about; i’d rather a woman who has her own dreams and isn’t afraid to pursue it, i’d rather a woman gives support as well as receives it, i’d rather a woman who isn’t afraid to ask for help when she’s tired, i’d rather a woman who would suggest take outs when she’s too tired to cook. Yes! Men are not molded to understand the emotional and dynamics behind the problems that women face BUT a real MAN tries to understand knowing that men are from Mars and women are from venus, knowing that women are complex animals, it is a woman’s place to pour all her cares, worries, fears, insecurities and troubles on her husband whenever they can, that’s a woman’s world. All this talk about submission #side eye# women be submitting since time immemorial. How bout you write a memo or a piece on how men can understand and live with a strong, hard working sister who can hold her own and speak her mind. Write a piece and include how men should assist with chores whenever they can, value a womans opinion, celebrate and encourage her. It’s 2015 please there’s no place where it is set in stone that a submissive woman has no choice. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for submissive but a sister wasn’t born just to cater for a man and all his needs, how about her needs who caters for hers?

  24. DayoI

    May 23, 2015 at 10:33 am

    I had a conversation the other day which somewhat relates to this topic.
    We talked about religion in Nigeria (and in general), and how it has been infused with culture and misogyny. An example is the use of scriptures to back up (in my opinion) absurd requirements that some men demand. Scriptures/verses that (partially) back up those points of view are always mentioned, but never the ones that say the complete opposite. This goes for the 2 “major” religions.
    You’ll hear imams at some weddings saying the Qur’an demands not to disobey the husband, but also forgetting to mention (or may not even know) the Qur’an also demands not to disobey the wife.
    In my opinion, the use of any religious sayings to get your way by force is ultimate blackmail and abuse. Especially if you’re not willing to put your own work into a relationship.
    Love goes both ways. If you show someone love and respect, all of this comes with. There will be no need for the use of verses/scriptures.

  25. m4

    May 23, 2015 at 10:59 am

    I’m just here to read comments.

  26. Helen

    May 23, 2015 at 11:14 am

    Bia etcetera abi wetin be ha name, Kpacha Anya gi o! What kind submission and bla bla bla. I ga asikawa. This is just akuko uwa. No need to waste my time analyzing this. One word Nigerian men are selfish and looking for who to kill at a young age. In my 6 yrs experience in marriage just forget it. Do what you can and leave the rest for God. Bella Naija please organize a conference and let’s trash this out. Kpomkwem

  27. Maggz

    May 23, 2015 at 11:16 am

    A Nigerian man is not worth pleasing. For generations in the African culture the male has always been put on a pedestal. From cooking to cleaning and overlooking their wrongs. I don’t blame some of our African women for changing ship and opting for a foreigner as a partner or spouse.
    Women on this issue I say you deserved to be pleased as well.
    This is such a biased article.
    Feminism is a beautiful thing for your information. I embrace feminism because I want to be seen as an equal to the same man that also was created in the image of God. Nobody is above anybody!!!

  28. Bee

    May 23, 2015 at 11:31 am

    Oga writer needs to go and sleep! All he succeeded in doing is make (Nigerian) men look like the selfish egomaniacs that most of them are.
    Honestly, he lost me at ‘Nigerian men opt for foreign women’. LOL hold on let me light a candle for all the potential partners us Nigerian women have lost to our foreign competitors. Nonsense!

    I’m not in the mood for a long epistle today. But successful modern relationships are based on mutual respect. Love and submission is a 2 way street. I’m just thankful that I keep meeting men that love to put my needs ahead of theirs and I’m sensible enough to return the favour.

    Woman, not slave

  29. Chasing rainbow

    May 23, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    Funny, there are loads of women who do these things and their men will still leave or cheat on them and there are some who don’t and their men love them to pieces like that.. It’s all about determination and commitment to make it work and it swings both ways so you men should stop making it seem like naija women have lost the plot. I live abroad and I have heard severally from naija men that they prefer white girls because naija girls are ‘long thing’, because once a white girl is In to you wheather you can speak English or not, she is down.. But as a naija babe, how is it my concern that my sight intimidates you or my achievement or confidence? I believe in submission but Nigerian men have over flogged the thing and it’s used to hide their various complexes n inadequacy, any small thing she’s not submissive are the so called foreigners are? Anyways to cut my talk short, for any relationship to thrive, the onus is on both parties so pls stop singling women out and men too should step up.

  30. Chasing rainbow

    May 23, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    My presence intimidates you I meant ?

  31. Girlbeingreal

    May 23, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    Oh shut up! You lost me when you started quoting the Bible.. Nigeria has a disease… The disease of blind religion. Every fucking asshole has a backing from the Bible. it’s simple.. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. It comes from within. You don’t need a loud voice from heaven for you to realize how to love your fellow human being

  32. vivianmorh

    May 23, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Blah blah blah,,,,,,, pls all dis ppl always writin to women can some of u kindly take some of ur time to write abt the real issues facing women today. Lik how to reach certain financial goals,, possible career options for young graduates,, how to overcome addiction. Cos am kinda sure pleasing a man isnt our life goal as women. And ohhh possible ways to overcome depression abeg

  33. Ada Golibe

    May 23, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    Bikonu, can someone tell me what this young man does again? After his first failed attempt in music, he is now trying to make himself a celebrity by churning out nonsense any day he has money to recharge his BIS (data bundle is for the bigger boys)

    I am who I am today because my father always believed in his girls and sold off nearly everything to put us through university. I can remember when I finshed sec school, a woman came and advised my dad to marry me off or better still send me to a college of education and save the money to train my then little brothers in university.

    This country would never be well when we have people like etcetera (what a name!! And so on and so forth. Unimportant details! Now I see where the brain damage started from) spewing out the garbage from his onu kpomo. Any man that would not treat me with respect as much I respect him and expect me to worship him because am a woman is just an ewu no 2.

    Please when next you want to gist, don’t bring in Almighty God into such gists. I rever HER so much. (Who actually said God is a man? God is a spirit and am created in Her image)

    Enough ranting from me. Off to make my hair and look pretty for me

  34. mywifeisfiiiiiiine

    May 23, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    Na wa o, now I know why I don’t understand my wife sometimes, most women only see or hear what they want. All the props he gave women on being greater than men and having an intuition that us men don’t possess went unnoticed shey? All you want to die for is because he quoted the bible, even though he said submission does not mean us guys should mistreat our women. Still you people want to die; meanwhile I have friends that Iyawo says it is in the bible for a man to be the provider. Now what other kind of submission is greater than a man going out to work and toil and use that money from his sweat to provide you reasonable comfort and security. I don’t hear you complain when he buys you a car or takes you on vacation to places your father never took you. If you women are so mad about people writing on how women should please men, then by all means do the needful and educate us men on how we should behave and stop the bitching.

    • nene

      May 23, 2015 at 7:32 pm

      gbam. i’m a woman but nigerian women can like to pick up a fight aha. calm down ladies. i see nothing wrong in the article.

  35. anonymous

    May 23, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    men are also ignoring the rest of ephesians 5! if a man cannot love his wife the way verses 25-29 describe then don’t expect a woman to submit to him. Nigerian men need to learn how to love women according to the bible first before they can expect submission from any woman.
    i’m getting tired of men quoting that bible verse and leaving out the rest of, expecting women to wait on them hand and foot and feed their already inflated ego.
    they always expect something and never give enough back in return, few men actually deserve to be submitted to in Nigeria IMO.
    they believe that money solves everything, as long they are providing for the family financially they can afford to behave anyhow and still expect submission from their wives. rubbish

  36. ari

    May 23, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    Men are also ignoring the rest of ephesians 5! if a man cannot love his wife the way verses 25-29 describes then don’t expect a woman to submit to him. Nigerian men need to learn how to love women according to the bible first before they can expect submission from any woman.
    Even then, expecting a woman to spend the rest of her life beneath you is ridiculous because that is what some of these guys are expecting
    i’m getting tired of men quoting that bible verse and leaving out the rest of that chapter, expecting women to wait on them hand and food and feed their already inflated ego.

    • ari

      May 23, 2015 at 5:55 pm


    • ari

      May 23, 2015 at 5:55 pm


    • ari

      May 23, 2015 at 5:57 pm

      hand and foot*

      so many errors on my previous comment, lol

  37. Peaches77

    May 23, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    Oh Chimoooo! The other day, the reverend was saying that the man should become the woman’s brain after marriage yada yada yada….aaarrrggghh. I just wanted to quench at that wedding. We need to stop these kinds of meaningless advise. Etcetera and co, are you subtly encouraging the Nigerian man to be selfish?

  38. Tolu

    May 23, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    The urge to attack each other either in our offices, homes and on the internet has been the major thing in vogue of recent most especially when an opinion different from ours is being said or written. Jungle justice on people’s personality based on what they write or said is wrong. Read to learn and unlearn or better still read for fun even when it’s different from your opinion.
    Do not attack or abuse.

  39. Nahum

    May 23, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    I think men should start building sexy, female robots to meet all their insane demands. In short, pls marry the foreign women and make their lives miserable. Naija women are tired of your isht.

  40. Rt

    May 23, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    BN,you guys should stop eating peeps comments

  41. mma

    May 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    This e.t.c ,always opening his bucal cavity to yearn nonsense babashes…just can’t waste my time reading that ur trash. And for u 23yearold bla bla, better not start something u cannot finish..are u d only one to sacrifice in dat relationship?can dat ur man see reason why u need dat money or does he want u to move in with him after u can’t pay ur rent? And exactly dat is when dis ur so cald relationship will surprise you as soon as he finds even one leg to stand on he LL so kick u out of his house and his life. Don’t think u can make it work by suffering urself,if u lost him for this reason then just know he’s selfish and not worth u being with cos he can only make you suffer more in future.

  42. Shineshineshine

    May 23, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    BN girls (Yelz, we ar all girls on this blog) una whahala too plenty! All u fighting cocks haba! This topic is over flogged you say yet, you all bring out your war arsenal each and every time some boy decides to ruffle ur feathers.. Ever heard that ” not every fight is worth fighting?

    On another note: Oshiomole said he decided to marry a foreigner cos’, Naija women whahala too much and that ya all winches…..OK, he did not say winches but you get the gist? Now l’m off to buy me some broom.

  43. Thatshychic

    May 23, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    Lmao! Nigerian Women have suffered!

    Dear BN, Biko who approves what content goes on your blog? Do your readers have a say? These articles attacking Nigerian Women are becoming a tad too much.

    It seems all the men ever read are the parts of the bible God addressed to wives and women. That’s for our consumption. There are equally as many scriptures addressing the conduct of men and the guys will do well to read and practise those abeg. Let’s have a balance.

  44. Nwa Aba

    May 23, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Oboy which kind soup? Na hot yam porridge wey Jacob chop abeg.

  45. mma

    May 23, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    Excetra equals rubbish write up. Miss 23yearold..reverse with full speed there’s no road there at all.

  46. Frank

    May 23, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Look at their comments,bunch of liars…most of them worships their unfaithful husbands……Mtcheeeeew!!!!

    • bruno FIERCE

      May 23, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      don’t mind them. bellanaija has become a breeding ground for bitter ladies to come and vent their frustration about nigerian men.but when they leave the blog they go and start worshipping their boyfriends/husbands. washing his clothes, cooking for him, washing his car etc and treating him like a god. cause they know if they stop treating him like a god, he would leave them for the next chic.
      I can also bet, most of these women commenting and behaving like they don’t need men, i can bet they are fighting another woman because of a guy. some of them are so desperate for a guy to propose to them. I can tell by just reading many of u ladies comments.

      u people are not fooling anyone but ur selves. so stop the fronting all u so called bellanaija yeye feminists. (B.Y.F.)

      none of u women can’t practice what u preach on this blog.its the truth cause u know the consequences. u know the consequences if u tell ur husband to go to the kitchen to go and cook.
      u know the consequences if u tell ur husband to do the laundry.etc.

  47. Didi

    May 23, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    …but i cannot come and go and die bcos of a man na! lololol. Etc, dia is God o. This mumu information you’re sharin, continu…

  48. Huge yawn

    May 23, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    I stopped reading after “wives submit etc”… Nigerian men have misinterpreted that verse so many times, I subconsciously start hissing once I read the first line.
    Soo many things wrong with this post but I can’t be bothered to try and reason with someone whose thought processes are so flawed. It’s like nigerian men are looking for slaves and puppets, not wives. And please spare me that crap of men dating “foreigners” because we are wise enough to know better than give a useless man our time and affection. If you like go and marry Queen Elizabeth, the better for us- less mumus to write epistles about what we should do/not do.
    You arrogant men will NEVER check yourselves and ask “do I deserve to be treated with respect?” Always having huge expectations yet offer absolutely nothing. Infact BN I blame you for giving this person a platform to spew such trash.

  49. Huge yawn

    May 23, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Lol ffs I’m so irritated I had to comment again. Nigerian men don’t really realise how ridiculous they sound when they try and give us advice. While I’m meant to maintain a figure 8 after having 2 or more kids, I should also have sex with you when you want (my feelings don’t matter even though it’s MY body), cook for you EVERYDAY after I get home from a long day at work (to our kids who require my love and attention). Not only that I need to learn to give you space when you’re watching football because God forbid there’s an emergency, how would I think that is enough reason to disturb you while you’re getting emotional about a bunch of players (you don’t know) kicking a ball. Or better still, spend my free time learning about football so I can interact with you when a match is on. Lol YET, even after we do all this, a lot of you will still cheat with your pot bellies. Crying. Oh let’s not forget…how are we supposed to carry on living knowing that “foreigners” are stealing out beloved and precious men. Whatever shall we do? Newsflash, we are marrying non-Nigerians too. Lmao do you think you’re the only ones. BN please block me from commenting again cause I can be here all day… The audacity of these men.

    • fga

      May 23, 2015 at 7:37 pm

      Who is marrying you people? Lol. My dear better wake up from the delusion and count your married friends again. The cities of London, Toronto, New York and Dubai are filled with humble Nigerian women looking for how to connect back home and find Mr. Anybody. Seriously reduced market for Nigerian women abroad with their attitude and all. They haven’t finished with the gorgeous Ethiopians its you Rambos they want to bother with?

    • Huge yawn

      May 24, 2015 at 12:33 pm

      Lmaoo it’s paining you because you assholes thought you were the only ones that could marry non-Nigerians.
      My husband of EIGHT years is British-Italian. I’d rather have died single than marry a useless Nigerian man like you.

  50. Ada_ugo

    May 23, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    hian!… i didn’t go through this essay, biko, but I just wanna ask when he is going back to singing? :-(… i’ve still got one of his songs on my iPod.

  51. Victorie

    May 23, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    I have gone through every comment on this article and i can honestly say that people are too quick to conclude rubbish! There are so many unneccessary comments. It’s not like he was trying to bring women down! He even clearly stated that men should not treat wives as slaves.There is absolutely nothing wrong with Etcetera’s post! I’m an avid reader of his articles and he always maintains honest stance on topics. The truth is everything he said is right, as a woman every culture every religion teaches us how to take care of our husbands and please him because he is the head of the home and yes we are his helper. No one said submission means kissing his feet. For those of you complaining that people are ‘attacking’ women too much, then please read the articles about men and their duties or please write your own articles about it and stop the unnecessary criticism.

    • Shopperoflife

      May 25, 2015 at 4:55 pm

      Girls are not smiling. And there has to be a platform to rant and vent after making that pepper soup at 2am becos Oga wanted pepper soup!

    • mimi

      April 11, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      he said women are not to be treated like slaves, but he goes on to describe behaviours that look a lot like one, submission doesn’t mean kissing a man’s feet, but he goes on to describe ways in which you can kiss a man’s feet.

  52. True talk

    May 23, 2015 at 5:14 pm

    Sorry, God didn’t write the bible but man did. If women had the upper hand in those days, they would have written it in their favour; human nature that’s all. Nation of hypocrites.

  53. Naiguy

    May 23, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    This just sounds a lot more difficult that i thought. Every man wants peace when they come home but when they stay out late entertaining the other woman they don’t want to be asked questions. That is more like a KIng

  54. Tosin

    May 23, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    lol. i think BN knows this is not pleasing to the commenters. looooool.

  55. Hian

    May 23, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    Dear Nigerian Men, sie ba puo and I say that with a sense of reverence 😀 is it the fuel scarcity or lack of work that makes you write these long messages. Did anyone complain about you marrying foreigners? The 50 million sites available to advise women with their abusive Nigerian husbands should be a cue to you that a lot of these young girls are tired of your behaviour. Marry who you want and stop disturbing us. Also when you marry these women why do you do all the things you leave for your Nigerian wives to do. You marry oyibo and start washing dishes, cleaning the house, caring for kids. Maybe if you do that with Nigerian women, your man parts will fall off.

  56. Hian

    May 23, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    O and all these ignorant men. It is because of feminism that your wives can work and support you. Shouting about feminism, no feminist said your wife should,not submit. We just say your wife should be treated like a human being, not less than your son or any other man. Your wife has equal rights. You are the head of your home but that does not make you more of a human or higher placed. Please read Ephesians properly and,understand servant leadership.

  57. bruno FIERCE

    May 23, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    it is clearly stated in the bible, women be submissive to ur husbands.
    women submit to ur husbands. (ephisian 5:22)

    so all these talk u ladies are talking in the comment section is crap.

    obey the bible.
    live ur life according to the bible.
    if u disobey what the bible says, u are going straight to the pits of hell.

    • Huge yawn

      May 23, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      Lmaoo even the devil quoted the bible and ended up in hell so it’s not only your wife who refused to “submit” to you that will end there.
      What a daft and obnoxious comment. Your lack of common sense is alarming. Of course a lot of men are upset by the comments. You thought every woman’s mission was to please men? LOL

    • Idomagirl

      May 24, 2015 at 6:06 am

      The bible also states that homosexuality is a sin. See na you go reach there before them sef. Rubbish.

    • Idomagirl

      May 24, 2015 at 6:07 am

      Lmao. I thought that was Bruno.

  58. m4

    May 23, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Ok i’ve read enough already.But na wa oh,this battle of the sexes that have been going on here for sometime now is rapidly becoming something else.If the kind of comments i’ve read here really translate the current situation on the ground in Nigeria,then I’m afraid we are in a very very long thing and the future is doomed for real!

  59. ejogene

    May 23, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    Nigerian woman do suffer!

  60. meme123

    May 23, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    I love this article. Simple and honest. Actual feminists understand this too. My independence doesn’t mean I neglect taking care of my man in every aspect. Please your man and if he’s a man of character why would he not desire please you. Bible harps on selfless love, give and love without expectation. That’s the key to ones peace of mind and happiness. For all the little girls howling what about the woman, grow up sweethearts.

  61. fga

    May 23, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Nigerian women and drama. Overvalued sense of self. I swear the only men who have time in this world for Nigerian women and their attitude is Nigerian men. It’s only in Nigeria that they misbehave, elsewhere in the world, they are not first, second or even third choice. Always making noise about deserving this and that, having these and those standards. What do you people have to offer exactly? Other African women think Nigerian men are the best, unfortunately some men taking your drama in Lagos and Abuja, don’t know their services are required elsewhere. When these babes finish roasting in diaspora they go back home to continue this “I’m hot and all what not” pretense. Y’all better learn humility, the spinster crowd is growing by the day because of this ego you people keep carrying about. One boat load of Ethiopian “no need for makeup” babes in Lagos and you people are all are finished. No wonder Oshiomole opted for foreign cargo rather than deal with this bleach and weave drama. Jesus.

    • Idomagirl

      May 24, 2015 at 6:59 am

      Abegi. The same way Nigerian men go on and on about Nigerian women but still run home to marry. Because you know women from other climes were not raised to tolerate the nonsense you people display.

      As for these Ethiopian women you are praising, many of them regard your black asses as inferior and will only spare you a second glance if you have money. Better stop deluding yourself.

    • fga

      May 24, 2015 at 9:12 am

      Are Nigerian women following Nigerian men for the love of empty pockets? At least the Ethiopian babes are honest about being in love for the life we bring, and what we bring to the table. And we love them for being gorgeous. What do you people have to offer abeg?

    • Nahum

      May 24, 2015 at 10:58 am

      I usually don’t respond to such stupidity but in your case I have time. Pls don’t have time for Nigerian women. Pls take your time to the no make up needed Ethiopian brides, I agree, they are fine. its ok, nobody is begging you again

    • Caligula

      May 25, 2015 at 9:33 pm

      You’re a FOOL! FYI – I love in the states, midwest to be specific and Ethiopian girls bleach and use weave just like us. So does Eritreans, Somalians, Indians and Asians. Calm the fuck down with the gra gra that’s doing you. Other men love them some Nigerian women… Foreign men from wealthy homes and a successful career. They’re affectionate, they’re great in bed and pamper us Nigerian women like gold. You crusty ass looking Nigerian men and your demands!! Sit down somewhere man and just hush. The new generation of Nigerian women are more sophisticated and we know we can do better than the typical Nigerian man’s perversed, Archaic & extremely patriarchal way of thinking… Bye!

  62. tutu

    May 23, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    When would africans begin to write articles.
    About how to please a woman, ??
    How to make her stay with you?
    How to leave her sexually satisfied…??
    Seriously I’m tired of this machismo..!!

  63. guest

    May 23, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    The Bible was written by man. So therefore he was never going put himself beneath the woman. Don’t you see how the bible sometime puts man on the same level as The Almighty Creator. Why people have not figured out the cleverness of those who use the bible to oppress steal and kill is beyond me. It is this same bible that wants you to beleive that man is so important that he can crucify The Son of the Almighty and say that Jesus Christ was meant to die.

  64. smh

    May 23, 2015 at 8:22 pm

    you all don’t seem to have problem with money being a factor when settling down with a guy, you don’t mind going on a date only for the man to pay, or for the man to foot the expenses of the house while you keep yours for purses, jewelries and more Aso Ebi. Funny thing is you don’t consider all these sexist. I’d like to see a family where the two heads antagonize each other on important decisions pan out.

    • elle

      May 24, 2015 at 1:22 pm

      Don’t be silly now. So if a guy pays for stuff and spends money on you, you automatically have to reciprocate by letting him walk over you?

      Please I am a feminist and i have no problem with men paying for my things sometimes. I also don’t have a problem with paying. It only becomes insulting when men feel that they have paid their dues/bought us because they spent money on us.

      Men! When you pay for stuff, hold doors, get up from your chair for us etc it should be out of love, respect and courtesy. Not because we are helpless or weak, stupif or inferior. Anything less and we will complain. You cannot continue to objectify and strip us of our full humanity because you throw a little (or a lot of) cash here and there. Una hear?

  65. oversabi

    May 23, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    My man (is he really one) has not been paying bills or raising his child. He does not even contribute a manly presence to the boy in his household. He whines like a bitch and is self-centered. How am I supposed to follow biblical principles when the foundation of the principle is missing. The only thing I can do now is keep my legs closed to others and not for him but for the respect I have for myself and for the respect I have for the God I serve. Nonsense.

  66. dim

    May 23, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Interesting!!!As usual battle of both gender.same old same old

  67. nnenne

    May 23, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    @cookies..Sometimes silence becomes very loud.
    I hear you and am walking away too.
    Where do I start?

  68. seducer

    May 23, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    This is so hilarious seeing you girls rant endlessly lmao. Angry Single Girls Club. How many of you are married or in a relationship? I bet hardly any and it’s obvious why.

    So you are all trying to tell me you can’t do the things he simply SUGGESTED? Why not just disagree? Why the rants? He even mentioned he’s not asking you to be abused by anybody. You can’t allow him peace when watching football? You can’t offer him sex when he wants it? You can’t advise him on business? You can’t cook him a delicious meal? Of what use are you then? GERROUT with your feminist deluded selves and let the REAL WOMEN stand up abeg!

    Beyonce bought her man a private jet yet she is submissive. Who are you to talk??? No oh don’t obey the Bible. Last time i checked the Bible is far wiser than you are, the reason that advice is there is cos IT WORKS. If you wanna be a rebel then show me a better way of making your man happy, dont come and rant 5yrs later about how useless Nigerian men are and why you’re still single….NO you’re useless. All your friends are marrying one by one cos they follow the age old advise and are submissive. You on the other hand miss independent can’t cook, no business acumen, can’t satisfy, nags endlessly. Worst ever type of gf.

    Shut it please

    • Idomagirl

      May 24, 2015 at 6:55 am

      How do you know that Beyonce is submissive to JayZ? Abi standing like a piece of wood while your sister attacks your husband counts as submission in your books? Ode.

  69. NaWa

    May 23, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    No wonder so many divorces. I feel sorry for you single ladies. Honestly. Time will tell. You people just don’t wanna be told. If you are tired of how women should be, write how men should treat their women. Gosh! See noise making.

  70. Adenike

    May 23, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    When I looked at the topic, I knew there will be many comments. Aren’t you people tired of commenting on this topic. Some of them (as far as I’m concerned) are for traffic…Just like a bait, it works everytime. Even the people getting mad, you know you would have just ignored and moved on with your life, not all this high bp things.

  71. Amanda

    May 23, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    Kini Iranu oshi rada rada wole leyi. @ Feed us well : What are you- a 2 years old child. You can’t get your freaking behind to the Kitchen and cook for yourself. Cooking is a SKILL for every human being and not a female specific job. So what happens when your wife is ill or passes away — You will bring your 70 something years old mother or your 40 something years old sister to come cook for you. Cook for him, Clean for him, Wash his ass for him, Forcefully have sex with your wife even though she is superly tired. The crap some of you come up with is brain draining. Also, by the way you have no idea what Feminism is. If it’s not noisemaker chatting crap about how you need to cook and clean for your boo to get his miniature house key; it’s etcetera writing his usual bunkum notes.

  72. krasavitsa

    May 23, 2015 at 10:36 pm

    Dear Etc,
    Thanks for your advice but kindly take it, roll it into a very tiny ball and stick it where the sun don’t shine.

    Dear Confused23yearold,
    You should seriously consider dumping that nigga’s ass. If he can be this selfish, inconsiderate and frankly speaking, this immature, then, you deserve better. And please don’t submit to him (he made such horrible demands of you; he doesn’t love you. Besides, he’s not your husband). You’re still young enough to kiss many frogs before you find your prince.

    Dear BN,
    Please post my comment.

  73. Ekyblink

    May 23, 2015 at 10:51 pm

    All ye women screaming “…men and their stupid ego…” I bet if your man got no ego you will hate him like hell.
    Am married and believe me, etcetera is right. If you are able to make your man happy you will see yourself being unconditionally happy too and there wil be this good radiance in your family.

  74. lacey

    May 23, 2015 at 11:50 pm

    I am happily single and still working on my mugu,who is also working on me his maga!
    This write up is very balanced and point of correction, you will be shocked that is the married women who are unhappy in their matrimonial homes that are bashing men here!
    I am in 30s and I have not found that man that will love me as Christ loved the Church as the Bible is very balanced,Men love your wives and women submit to your husband! So my fellow”‘ women “” in peshe’s voice please marry a man that loves you and you can respect,not just to be a Mrs! And be miserable!ladies come here to bash men,because they do not look critically before they enter marriage! I am currently working on my mugu and he too is working on me his maga!When the work is complete we will invite you to the union of love! All the proposals I got before now were who men I knew I could not submit to,this were prof men who I felt we were not on the same page because their reasoning faculty was very illogical to my own reasoning! But now I have someone who we reason alike, I respect him and he corrects me and does not take the packet of nonsense that I would dish out to other guys,he is firm and can hold his own! He is happy about my prof life and wants me to excel,not the other guys that saw me as too ambitious! So please for single women make sure you marry a man that his decisions are respected, because I hate when women say my husband makes bad decision as in why will you go ahead and accept to make bad decisions that affects you adversely! That means even his marrying you was a bad decision! Please marry that man that complements, loves you as then you will be able to submit! So ETC on this one you have got me!For our men marrying foreigners,Oshobaba had to marry his princess,Nja yellow pawpaw girls were just collecting his money and turned down his proposal!(assumption)! I come here to have fun though! 🙂 Have fun this weekend!

    • meme123

      May 24, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      Well said.

    • deb

      May 25, 2015 at 11:36 am

      compare the arrangement of your experience with this man’s article and you will see that it is NOT balanced. In a literary sense, his opinions have been put forward with an underlying assumption: that men ALREADY know how to please women, which is not always the case cc: confused23yearold. A balanced article will state both sides of the argument, bible quotations included. heck, has anyone even read “Act like a lady, think like a man”, “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars”? Do some of these authors even read/do research before publishing incomplete articles with half-arguments in the name of putting forward a POV? I challenge Etcetera to publish a similar article suggesting how Nigerian men should please and keep Nigerian women as well. I’d like to see the quality of the arguments he puts forward.

      as for the contents of this article, its really not new. any other secrets you got on your menfolk, Etcetera? Cos i’m bored already.

    • deb

      May 25, 2015 at 11:44 am

      by “authors” i mean BN authors. I’ve seen well thought-out material on BN, side-by-side with some articles that lack substance and make my eyes and brain tired.

  75. Anon

    May 24, 2015 at 12:36 am

    Etc reminds me of a colleague who hates
    1. chinamada; says she is too successful
    2. Beyoncé – she is a prostitute
    3. Me -coz I hv a master and see no reason no study further
    4. Any woman who (a) doesn’t give her husband cooler of food in d morning (b) cooks with poundo yam instead of pounding the yam (c) earns a living
    5. Who calls him a chauvinist

    • Warizdiz

      May 24, 2015 at 1:44 pm

      @Anon, I see u ar back. By the way @Shobie served U today!

      I wonder what you do for a living. Even constant commenters like JP, RR, CB, SSS and MsA all take a break. Meanwhile, those ones make sense o but you? Nadah. There is a serious but jovial nature to their comments. Even AdaNnewi in her ratchetness takes a break. You are forever showcasing your pedestrian and diffident (l borrowed those Sent from my iPad

      Vexing over. Going for a caramelized doughnut also known as puff-puff.

  76. tob

    May 24, 2015 at 1:12 am

    I get so mad when these men go around quoting the bible and throwing the word submission around like they know what it means.
    Ephesians 5:22- Wives submit to husband. They forget to read a little bit further for the required condition for this so called submission.
    Ephesians 5:25, husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
    My question to you men looking for submission is two-part:
    -How many of you really, truly love the women in your lives like Christ loved the church?
    -Can you lay your life down for this woman, do you love her unconditionally, and can you walk through fire for her?
    If your response to any of the fore mentioned is no, biko go to your nearest stadium and have several seats. You have not earned the right to a woman’s submission.
    Colossian 3:18- Also asks wives to submit to their husbands.
    Does anyone go to read the requirement for this submission? No. Colossian 3:19- Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Bitterness comes in various packages- malice, withholding housekeeping money, stubbornness, and refusing your wives’ counsel.

    Proceeding to the practical aspects of this word SUBMISSION. The twenty-first century Nigerian woman holds a full time job, just like her husband. They both bring home paychecks and both have strenuous 9-5 jobs, accounting for traffic, it is more like 5am – 8pm.
    So, you and Mrs. decide to both go after that money, she may even have a bigger paycheck than you do. She also has the stress of the job. And yet these men still expect her to take on the traditional duties of the previous generation’s full time stay at home woman.
    Upon the stress of work + being a home maker, she is still expected to be a personal sexbot. Ahn, ahn kilode. Humans are not machines, and contrary to popular opinion, even the strongest woman needs rest.
    You cannot eat your cake and still have it in the freezer. Our Nigerian men are unbecoming. The nerve on them. If you want a full time stay at home wife, who will treat you as a king, have a hot plate of food waiting on you when you get home. These women are a dime and dozen. If you can afford living off your single paycheck please go ahead and enjoy this bliss.
    However, if you are one of the many BROKE-AZ (not BOAZ) who cannot afford this luxury. Yes, luxury. Biko, learn how to use the microwave, get used to Mr. Biggs, and TFC. What you will not do is send this working and career Nigerian woman to an early grave.
    If the man and woman are both going to have full time jobs, and you refuse to allow her stay home. If both of you are going to be sharing the role of family breadwinner. YOU BETTER BE WILLING TO SHARE THE ROLE OF HOME MAKER- BEFORE YOU CAN COMPEL HER SUBMISSION.
    Because what she is, is the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. She is made from the same material as you are. She is your equal. What she is not- is your slave, domestic help, personal chef, washer man, baby-making oven, and blow up doll.
    So, while I am sitting here working on Proverbs 31, and getting my life together by earning those degrees. I expect you to be working your ass off as well, because you will have to choose. Do you want a career minded wife or a submissive wife? Because you will not eat your cake and have it, and I do not plan on going to an early grave over some man.

  77. Ramsay snow

    May 24, 2015 at 2:13 am

    …..buh in the real world some of una dey mrore than submissive even to boyfrinds

  78. Caligula

    May 24, 2015 at 2:41 am

    Dumb guy. How about he writes on how to please a Nigerian woman. Loser. Men need to listen hard & listen good. Pleasing y’all is or our life’s mission. Gone are the days where Naija babes go dey thirst over una. Lots of fishes in the sea man.. Wake up

  79. crown

    May 24, 2015 at 6:12 am

    Do you live with Jay and Beyonce that u know she’s submissive? I totally agree that women should follow God’s principles on marriage, submission and all but it’s a two way thing o, A man cannot be insensitive to my needs and expect me to give him sex when he comes calling, my mind cannot be in it, a man cannot be unnice and lay his butts about in d house and expect mind blowing sex later. It just doesn’t work that way o.

  80. Concerned Chief

    May 24, 2015 at 8:22 am

    @Idoma,don’t be deceived by Unhappy married,Single mothers and single BN’s. I see now you are becoming a feminist.A piece of advise for you,”we” Nigeria men cannot tolerate and will never embrace your feminism but I’m not saying that you should be a “slave” to your husbands.You must be submissive to your husband.period……

  81. fga

    May 24, 2015 at 9:01 am

    Nigerian women will not learn. Most other African men are the most useless of men you will meet, yet their women manage them as is. I have been to various African regions and you will marvel at what you see. In Kenya, Christian women with PhD’s will accept to be Mrs No 2 and Mrs No 3 just to have a man. A number of their men just hang around and feed off women who are simply happy to have a man. These men sef, no style, dress sense, drive or hustle. Nothing.
    Go to Cameroon where men wake up at 8 a.m in the morning to go and drink and guzzle. Some men date up to 5 women and all know each other. South Africa? Lets not even go there.
    A number of other Africans hate Nigerian males because we take their women with sweet mouth, dress sense and spending to take care of them. Something their own men will not do. Most Nigerian babes don’t understand the joy of their situations until they land in a foreign land and see that all their “Lagos gra gra” has no market in Dubai, London or Toronto.
    A Nigerian woman can not see herself dating other African men because Nigerians are the only African men that can handle their drama.
    This Kim Kardashian, E TV, attitudes are what is causing the high level of spinsters you have in Nigeria today. Half the babes I went to Uni with are unmarried, looking for the single you man of dreams that can give them the Champagne life. Most of them are still dreaming. Meanwhile the submissive ones with something to offer who learnt from their parents are in their husbands homes.
    Baby mama syndrome has taken over because some babes have realized if they cannot have a husband at least they can have a child for someone, aka Dami’s Daddy is so so and so.
    At the rate you people are going, polygamy will come back into play into Nigeria through Nigeria’s current youth because the women have completely lost the plot. Hard to get has has eventually led to not getting gotten.
    Show me one young Nigerian man that is a moderately successful young professional and has now wife, fiance or prospect, I will show you 20 female professionals looking for man. Its them that end up financing the lifestyles of toyboys in Lagos who do nothing but go to gym everyday and wear shiny shoes. You people had better wake up and stop living in delusions. All your role models have entered Man’s house from Beyonce to Kim K, you people are here making frustrated noise.

    • Men on mars, women on venus!

      May 24, 2015 at 6:42 pm


  82. Nonye

    May 24, 2015 at 11:20 am

    Lmao…so much hate & frustration. Well I think it’s a good article BUT men also needs to be educated on how to please the women too. That is soooo lacking in our society. The pressure is always on the women which is not fair…

  83. Jacy

    May 24, 2015 at 11:54 am

    this a very useless and flimsy excuse to go for foreign girls and who told you that this errors are applicable to Nigerian girls?

  84. Supported

    May 24, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    @jacy,I’m sorry but it’s enough reason we go for foreign girls (Other African countries e.g SA,Kenya,Zimbabwe etc)over here because they know how to treat us as a man,they appreciate us as Gold and are submissive to us.You people should continue with your feminism campaign while we marry them foreign girls. @fga,you have said it all,beyonce go dem chop dem Mugu (“all the single ladies oh oh oh !!! Unfortunately for them the girl got married and now she’s using feminism to sell her records). Nigeria girls must learn how to be submissived in marriage……

  85. Zee

    May 24, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    Expect a new single from etc this year. Lol

  86. Ummibee

    May 24, 2015 at 2:07 pm


    On a more serious note though BellaNaija and all the other Nigerian blogs need to stop giving male chauvinists like etcetera a platform to air their discriminatory opinions! It seems like the attention (whether positive or negative) is what fuels their delusions of grandeur and makes the next article even more insulting than the other. I’m sure BN demographics will show mostly young, driven women and as a woman who is proudly feminist, I find this offensive.

    Men like ETC Need to find a suitable outlet for their inferiority complex. Nigerian women have been their punching bags for much too long and it’s sad that impressionable young women are going to read this and take it as gospel. we are done buying what you’re selling, chauvinists

  87. zibaintl

    May 24, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    most of u calling d article trash are hypocrites n u knw deep down within u dat d tins he mentioned actually make marriage to work.if u discredit d writer den go and ask ur fathers.dey will educate u better….besides his references were d bible….abi d bible de lie? or its meant for those who are believers to follow its teachings,…am sure he didnt talk abt wat men shld do to please dere wives bcos its an entire diff topic…if ur a woman or girl here,wen u marry,dont cook for for husbnd n giv him sex,,d side chick will b willing n more dan happy to do so…but if u prefer divorce n raising ur childrn in broken home den dis write up is nt meant for u.

  88. Supported

    May 24, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    @jacy,I’m sorry,we go for foreign girls( Other African countries SA,kenya,Zimbabwe etc) over here because they treat us as man,they appreciate us as gold and are very submissive to us.We prefer them now to Nigeria girls.It’s a trend among Nigeria men now.Nigeria girls should learn how to be submissive in marriage. @fga,you have said it all,beyonce go dey chop dem Mugu with her songs( All the single ladies oh oh oh !!! Unfortunately for them,she got married and she’s now using feminism to boost her record sales.We are tired of this so called feminism.

    • concerned

      May 24, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      And what will happen if you also make us feel like women and submit to us? Go and learn what feminism is about before opening your mouth. Anyone who talks without knowing what he or she is talking about is ignorant. Try not to make yourself look ignorant

  89. M.o

    May 24, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    I am a man, and this should be renamed how to please a ‘local’ (razz, ajepako etc) nigerian man.

  90. Men on mars, women on venus!

    May 24, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    i believe that if men and women stayed on different planets,there would be peace in the universe, We really can do without each other, I swear!

    • Venus on fire

      May 25, 2015 at 1:01 am

      U wan make Venus bomb?
      Venus go blow up within one day if we are to split.
      We men can stay in mars without any wish but these women can’t even stand each other not to talk of living together in Venus.

      Venus on fire!

    • deb

      May 25, 2015 at 11:47 am

      oh shatap and plug your mouth, its leaking nonsense.

  91. spice

    May 24, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I cannot stand this part arrrgh our sexuality, so don’t just go there
    – No games with that please. Give
    yourself to him freely every time,
    every way and everywhere.

  92. Breanna

    May 24, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    This article just annoyed me so let me write my own response on How to please a woman….. Men… Keep your penis in your pants. Don’t follow every skirt and bra you see then start telling stupid lies. face the woman you married/are in a relationship with! She didn’t force you to be with her… If you do this, a woman will respect you and give you the love and attention you desire minus the so called ‘Nagging’.
    Stop spending all your spare time and money outside with your friends doing things you shouldn’t be doing then come home late expecting a warm welcome followed by porn star sex, behave responsibly and a woman will please you.

    Stop lying and living double lives ,this will in turn cause your woman to trust you and do all the things you wish for willingly. FYI… Men… You are not entitled to any special treatment from women, especially when you mistreat us then expect us to turn a blind eye and act like bedroom and kitchen slaves… Do you think you’re doing us favours by being in a relationship??? That we should now bend down and worship you because we are desperate to be called Girlfriend, Fiancé or Mrs?! HELL No!!
    I suggest you start reading your bible about what God says about marriage, fidelity and how to treat a woman. 80% of men don’t adhere to these rules, yet they expect women to treat them like Kings.
    Lastly… Stop behaving like big babies! What is wrong with your hands? Why cant you cook your own meals from time to time and wash your own clothes? We are not your modern day slaves so start showing appreciation and stop acting like we owe you!!!

  93. Ama

    May 24, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Love love love this!!!!! Thank you

  94. concerned

    May 24, 2015 at 9:50 pm

    Ok, before I say what I’m about to say I would like to apologize beforehand for my language.
    I would like to ask Etcetera and his fans for forgiveness. Before I read this write up, I always said Etcetera was a fool and a non entity. I apologize. I apologize for greatly underestimating him. He is not a fool: he is a CHAUVINISTIC, ENTITLED, UNDERACHIEVING and EMBITTERED FOOL!!!! Oh, and his opinions are about as relevant as a donkey’s behind.
    Thanks for your understanding.

  95. Supported

    May 25, 2015 at 12:23 am

    @Breanna,men cheats,women cheats.why would I cook my own meals? Did I marry you to cook my own meals? Ofcourse women are not “slaves.”Anyway, marriage is not for everyone especially someone like you,rather stay single and do your feminism…..if you do all those things E.T..C listed,I promise you your husband will love you more.shikena!!!!!!

    • Amanda

      May 25, 2015 at 2:19 am

      Oh poor phuck boy. Because you and the men in your life are sorry ass liability phuck boys doesn’t mean the rest of the Nigerian male population are like your ilks. So before you got married: who was cooking your meal? If you want a Paula Deen kind of meal: Why don’t you hire a private chef instead of turning your wife to a food and sex slave. The weird thing about all this is the 10 best chefs in the world are Men so what is you and your ilks excuse. When did cooking a SKILL become an innate responsibility for only women. No human being (male or female) came into the world knowing how to cook, clean e.t.c It’s a skill they learnt along the way. My parents have been married for close to 40 years and growing up I watched them cook together, clean the house together, raise my siblings and I together, contributed financially together. They were PARTNERS that met each other half way. Neither of them was a nuisance to the other. The same could be said of my late grand parent and my 2 brothers who are married. Grown thoughtful men like these are a rarity in Nigeria and it’s quite sad. Most of what I see around is phuck boy ingrates. You are supposed to be a partner with your spouse and not a freaking liability. Someone made a comment a couple of weeks on BN saying : Female and Male go through the same education system and exposure; the women evolve while a good chunk of the men are stuck on stupid. These many people wouldn’t be complaining about the way a good chunk of Nigerian men are raised or behave if there wasn’t actually a problem.

      Here is a list of some Nigerian men who dare to be different from the typical phuck boy. Take a cue and learn from them

      –Tunde Aiyemoni : Quick and Easy Meal Tips here on BN
      –Alex Oke : who has had a couple of posts here on BN
      –Fregene Gbubemi: who has quite a number of posts here on BN
      –The owner of NigerianFoodChannel on Youtube
      –The owner of Nigeriacuisine on Youtube

      All of these men mentioned have bad ass careers too.

      Dare to be different and stop searching for a woman you are going to enslave.

    • Breanna

      May 25, 2015 at 10:46 pm

      My sister… Chop kiss!!!!

    • Bode

      May 26, 2015 at 1:49 pm

      Am a Nigerian man based in the United Kingdom. Our Men(Nigerian) should learn how to treat their partners. She has life of her own, she is there to complement you not surrender all herself to you. In a Home, you need to do your task and expect her to do her and also when children are involve the task need to be shared. Talking and picking from school, doing household shopping e.t.c.When you as a man does this to the woman in your life she will love and honour you. I believe in Culture, also a Christian and a father of a girl i will like my daughter to be treat well by her husband. Our men need to be School in the Act of being a Man and Husband and not only as a African Man.

    • Breanna

      May 25, 2015 at 2:05 pm

      LOL. And who told you that I’m not married?? The sooner you realise that marriage is a partnership. The better! And yes, I’m a proud feminist. I suggest you look up the definition and educate yourself before spread chauvinistic views of what marriage is and isn’t supposed to be. Why won’t you cook for yourself from time to time? Will you die? Gosh. Grow up

  96. ssah

    May 25, 2015 at 8:57 am

    ode! the way you people portray women ehn, i fear! i know many women who actually do not watch telemundo or nollywood(not that telemundo is bad, it even helps you escape for a while from all the harsh realities of this country) but will rather watch premiership…
    do I even need to argue over this?..*sigh* bye

  97. Supported

    May 25, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    @Breanna,to my world marriage is not a partnership.Ok oooo !!! Continue with your feminism,I pity your husband.people like you will teach their daughters on how to disrepect their husbands.

  98. Mj

    May 25, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    hahahaaaa… i love all these comments! nigerian men are marrying foreign women now because nigerian women have opened their eyes… embraced themselves as individual that can stand on their own without a man. a girl is born loved by her parents… her parents slave through working and all that so she has good food, education, everything. after all this, she should now center her life on pleasing a nigerian man?? Jesu!! what i would not see in this world oh! its almost as if the life long dream of a nigerian woman should be to please the nigerian man! are we animals or is this some kind of jungle?? Anyways, women are having beter goals and dreams in life… call it feminism or whatever… Nigerian men should also know that nigerian women too are marrying foreigners… so we’re even!! case closed

  99. Chief

    May 25, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    @mj,don’t just go there,no foreigners can stand the egos and prides of a Nigerian women.Why are you Nigerian women complaining that Nigerian men don’t marry you people anymore and move from Nigerian churches to one another looking for Nigerian men.Listen!! We Nigeria men are tired of you people.Anyway We Nigerian men are Gold among Other African countries women.Do your research!!

  100. Minister Ade.

    May 26, 2015 at 11:33 am

    Social Media is now an outlet for venting.

    People are going to be so surprised when reality hits them.

  101. Chidinma

    May 26, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Great article. Thanks Etcetera for the advice.

  102. Tkum

    May 27, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    i mean i read all of this and ended like an ‘okpo’ staring hard blank into space….forgive my English… u know when i read comments from people like fga and chief i just keep laughing at their smelling egos…nwanne u see, i am opportuned to have a friend who was toasted by some guy…the same day the guy toasted her, the same guy who wanted to rough handle my friend with sweet mouth, told her “i cant date you because you are light skinned…i cant date a lightskinned lady because she is too attractive’…Biko my people what are we going to call dat type of toasting? the monkey knew all of this and still approached dis babygirl for a relationship and stilled spewed dat rubbish… me sef i don confuse for wetin i dey yarn…obviously our men are become delusional, weak, blind as the days go buy..speaks the inferiority complex most of them have now… My point is i love that women are becoming strong and know wat they want…save for the hypocrites oo..not even sure my point hit the nail on the head. wo! Bellanaija..How to please umu nwoke articles should go M.I.A for now else very soon u lose ur wonderful dramatic readers if we continue to see this kinda articles..

    • lou0508

      October 18, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      I totally agree with this woman also deserve to be respected

  103. Countess

    May 29, 2015 at 1:28 am

    We, my Nigerian sisters and I, were NOT created to make you happy.


  104. Loveroflove

    October 30, 2015 at 6:07 am

    Though my comment might go unnoticed, I have to release my opinion in the atmosphere. Nigeria is not my home but my husbands. I am a free thinker from America. I am with someone so loyal, respectful, genuine, and kind. Times are changing, just be patient. Nigerian men will come around. In the meantime be hopeful and let real love from anywhere into your heart.

  105. Marry non-naija abeg

    March 17, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    they say “the devil you know is better than the angel you dont know”. I don’t see a lot of local men settling with non-naija babes…. most don’t remain married at least 10 years (name 5 examples from your circle naw not YouTube?). Those who have married for that long do so because he man is sensible in mind or/& has wealth and success. What woman willingly chooses a life of struggle? Ladies explore other avenues please. Women of today don’t have the mindset of women 50 years ago. This world is too diverse to be settling for a self centered, non ambitious man who refuses to evolved in his thinking compared to 50 years ago (naija or not).

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