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Nigerian Gay Rights Activist Bisi Alimi Reflects on the First Time He Got His HIV Test Results 11 Years Ago

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Bisi Alimi 2Nigerian gay rights activist Bisi Alimi is reflecting on the very first time he got his HIV test results and had his life changed forever.

He shared on Instagram:

Bisi Alimi

…with the caption

It’s 11years today I got the news that changed my life completely. It has made me who I am. Life has thought me to turn #Shame to #Pride, #Hate to #Love, #Victimhood to #Champion. I am not perfect but “hell yes!” I am stronger now. #HIV has thought me to look positively at life and though it has not always been smooth, I am smarter now than 11years ago. Thanks to all my friends @funmiiyanda @sholisha @shecrownlita @o_makanjuola @instaforakin @toksyk27 @thisisanino @olusholaremi @2undai @roger_jay. People that can see beyond the HIV and see a work in progress and invest in me. #livingpositively #HIVpositive #lovingmylife #livingmylife

Photo Credit: Instagram/bisialimi

66 Comments

  1. wagamama

    May 7, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    Male Homosexuals have a higher risk of exposure to STD’s and the HIV virus.

    Somebody school me on this quick question: Is it due to the lifestyle or the choices they make?

    Wishing him Long-life and Good health.

    • Manny

      May 7, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      several reasons really but one important one is bruising. As opposed to the V, that posterior orifice wasn’t exactly designed for thrustings and such. As such, rips and tears are more common. Plus a lot of gay men pull double duty as receiver and giver so it’s a cyclical. Plus back then as opposed to now, there were not too many monogamous gay men so again, it was a cycle.

    • Seriously

      May 8, 2015 at 7:42 am

      Thanks for the explanation. However, this is the one of the reasons homosexuality will forever remain abnormal. Husband and wife can be monogamous, have sex without protection and be at lower risk of contracting the virus than gay couples. But, I also like that he’s bringing awareness to HIV/AIDS. This speaks to not just gays but also heterosexuals who sleep around recklessly, to those who don’t protect themselves and those men who are down low undercovers, they sleep with men unprotected and also sleep with women.

      To anyone who falls into this category, go check yourself, it’s better to know now, than never that will just lead to sudden death and causing more problems by infecting others. In Nigeria, many are living with it unknowingly, scared to face the truth or state of denial, some know but don’t know what to do. Bottom line is, there’s still life, life goes on with HIV/AIDS.

      P.S those living with it, please do not hide your status, it’s up to the other person to make her/his decision

    • Bobo

      May 7, 2015 at 3:15 pm

      @wagamama…you have a higher risk of infection if not automatic via anal sex. On the other hand…regular intercourse with an infected partner does not necessarily mean you’ll be infected..in other words…less risky than anal… but still very risky. Keep your condoms handy and use them properly

    • ACE

      May 8, 2015 at 8:28 am

      Wow! Thanks for this.

    • Anonymous

      May 7, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      They were born so, Abi?

    • wagamama

      May 7, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      @ mani @ bobo….Mucho gracias

      @Anon… Stop looking for trouble, my hand no dey o!

    • tunmi

      May 7, 2015 at 9:05 pm

      @wagamama @Manny @Bobo thank you for objectively asking and answering the question

  2. Niola

    May 7, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    hmmm, is it a coincidence that the two gay men that have announced their status on BN have HIV……………… BNairans….Our own topic for discussion

    • tunmi

      May 7, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      I am laughing in Swahili. How many people have gone for testing for one. With all the radarada and sleeping around that goes on. Remember AIDS and HIV no dey show for face. Methinks heterosexual women may have higher rates. Just because they don’t speak about it does not mean it is not happening. Didn’t we recently start speaking on rape and sexual assaults and too nany in the BN community had been a victim? If no one speaks on it, we won’t know.

  3. prince

    May 7, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    well done Bisi. #lifegoeson

  4. Oreo

    May 7, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Are u kidding me? HIV +???

    • hot momma

      May 7, 2015 at 8:35 pm

      mmhmmmn what’s new or surprising there? will you be shocked if he said he had asthma???

  5. Takeseveralseats

    May 7, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Happy Anniversary!!

    • ola

      May 7, 2015 at 5:48 pm

      lol….which kind bad anniversary be that one

  6. bruno

    May 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    pls I just want to clarify, I am not angry neither I’m I bitter, I am FIERCE!!!!!!!
    I AM……….bruno FIERCE.

    say hello to my new alter ego “bruno FIERCE”

    • Abby

      May 7, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      Alter ego ko, alter ego ni. Like we care. Rme.
      Now that the Like button has been fixed, we can see Bruno was a “self-made” BN celebrity aka click till the Like button breaks. Shior

  7. Naked

    May 7, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    Here he comes again! Always seeking for attention. I can’t stand this guy again.

    • Sibongile

      May 7, 2015 at 10:00 pm

      Maybe intelligent people will see this and get inspired to get tested. I know my status , so many many people don’t know theirs. this man coming out will hopefully inspire others to get tested. That’s my take. I Applaud his courage.

  8. smh

    May 7, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    BN pls don’t give this man the attention he so desires…he is always talking and making noise…we get that he is gay and HIV+ can he shut up already?

    • iba

      May 7, 2015 at 11:48 pm

      I really like him; let him be and no i’m not gay.
      Live and let live. He is a brave brave man.

  9. POSH

    May 7, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    ok i have a quick question as i am soo confused… recently started dating a guy he is away in the uk for his masters. we started dating mid last year, and everything was going smoothly our conversations are amazing and communication level was really high. so he decided to take a break from sch last dec to come see me and tell me somtin realy important lo and behold prince charming got hiv says he has been living with it for years, i was devastated i cried and begged him to tell mi it was a lie. BUT it couldnt have been truer.now thing is he wants to take the relationship to the next level .. im scared at the tot of having to live that kinda life and some many crazy tots running tru my head.. pls i need advice

    • Temilade

      May 7, 2015 at 3:57 pm

      POSH, I’ve never been in a situation like yours, but we all make mistakes, don’t we? however, this should not be your problem.. I’d like to think you’re better than settling for less.. you’re still very early in your relationship and I’ll advice you quit dating this guy.. don’t just blow it off, remain friends with him and encourage him,, but you deserve to be safe and happy. PLEASE, call it quits (that’s what I’ll do if I were you sha)

    • cutest

      May 7, 2015 at 4:01 pm

      You do not need advise, you know the answer. Only faith can carry you through. If there is no faith, pray for him with the little you have, and move on.

    • Desire

      May 7, 2015 at 4:05 pm

      Pls do not take it any further,u have to remove how you feel and think with a clear head. I am sure you won’t want to bring hiv positive kids into the world that is if you plan on having kids with him.consult your family members,no priest or doctor will advise you to go through with it

    • TheGirlInTheBlueScarf

      May 7, 2015 at 4:20 pm

      I will give you the same advice I would give to my sister or friend…End things, it is not your burden to carry. Just being real

    • Nen

      May 7, 2015 at 5:15 pm

      he should send me a mail…[email protected]

    • NP

      May 7, 2015 at 6:39 pm

      My dear, are you really asking us this question? What do you want us to say? That you should stay with him for love? Or that you should leave him for life? I guess you already know what you want. If you can live with kissing and making love to an HIV positive person for life , go ahead. Do you want kids? Are you gonna have unprotected sex at some point? What if he succumbs to the disease some years down the line and leaves you as an HIV positive widow with 3 kids to raise? Can you cope on your own? Financially and emotionally? Cos you must note that no one else would be willing to marry an HIV positive widow with 3 kids. Oya…answer your question. #Peace

    • Anonymous

      May 7, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      RUN………….as fast as your legs can carry you!

    • tunmi

      May 7, 2015 at 9:15 pm

      If you want to be with him, you will have to do your research. HIV positive people do live full, healthy and sexually-fulfilling lives. You do have to be fair to yourself and to hin. Do you care about this guy enough to take him and his status? If so, the internet has many resources on how to handle sex. As long as he is taking his medication and his viral load is low, and you use condoms, you both really will be okay. As for kids, it is possible to have children who are not HIV+. Again you will have to do research and consult your doctor but it is possible.

      https://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/prevention/reduce-your-risk/mixed-status-couples/

    • The Buttery Hotness

      May 13, 2015 at 4:56 pm

      I literally combed bellanaija trying to find your comment so I could give you this: facebook.com/apulsipher/photos
      Hope you get it
      All the best!

  10. Addy

    May 7, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    It could be anybody!!! HIV is real but its not the end of life!!!!! Bisi life goes on and thank God you are strong. Its well with thee.

  11. Temilade

    May 7, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    God said we should not judge, so I’ve chosen not to judge this guy.. but going around trying to make this homosexual thing look alright isn’t going to help, you want activism abi whatever, cool, Nigerians are highly conservative and I can almost promise that in a century, they’ll still not accept homosexuals, so don’t force people to judge you.. do your shit lowkey and let people pray for God to change you, don’t start pushing people to irritation, just don’t!

  12. Abi

    May 7, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    @posh- answer this please- if you had HIV will he take the same risk he’s asking of you? Therein lies the answer to your question?

    • Blah blah

      May 7, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      Therein does not lie the answer to her question.
      1. Are you ready to not have children? Cos they would be HIV+. The virus in his body might be domant with little risk of transmission but it is such a huge risk to take! You have to be prepared for the fact that one day you will get HIV.
      2. Are you ready to use a condom for the rest of your life? And go for tests every quarter or 6 months?
      You cannot be spontenous. You cannot give head without a condom (how doesn’t that even work? Latex must taste horrible). I won’t even advise him to give you head. You need to think about it in very practical terms. I imagine it is doable but mehn huge risk!

  13. sass

    May 7, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    In this century you people are telling someone to quit a relationship because of HIV. Lmao. I am AS and will quit a relationship with another AS person first before quitting one with an HIV positive person.
    I know many people living with the virus who married people who don’t have the virus (the partners were aware) and their kids are negative and the partners negative.
    When an HIv positive person starts taking their drugs it gets to a point where the viral load is so low they can’t infect one.
    Positive people and their partners are schooled on how to be careful for themselves and their kids.
    Genotype on the other hand is more risky than even this hiv thing.

    • BlueEyed

      May 7, 2015 at 6:00 pm

      I wanna hug you for this comment….its 2015 and folks still think of HIV like they did in the past? I mean come on, enlighten yourselves people.
      Also HIV amongst gay men is not what it used to be, and there is solid information and communication on HIV related issues in the LGBT community. I am always impressed when I come across Poz gay men and their unique outlook in life, a lot of straight people should take a page from the LGBT manual as regards HIV issues. Those people don’t play.

    • tunmi

      May 7, 2015 at 9:33 pm

      Triple gbam!!

    • cindy

      May 8, 2015 at 12:32 am

      This is what others have been saying too. Stop trying to sound intelligent. If she can live with the extra burden that comes with it, then good for her. If she can’t, then she shouldn’t. Let’s be realistic, frustrations like this end a lot of marriages. And you pushing those of us with AS under the bus just to make a point makes your comment invalid. Bye.

    • beautycee

      May 8, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      i concur with you. u make sense die. Nigerians and their shallow mindset.

    • Ene

      May 8, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      Thank you very much Sass for giving an INFORMED and objective answer. A lot of people’s replies are based solely on the stigma of HIV. I am a registered nurse and have had the opportunity of handling several cases of HIV. I have seen enough cases to know that HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was. This is why knowing your status is key. Early detection allows you to come up with an effective strategy for how to prolong your life. Several HIV positive people have gone on to lead healthy lives, with families who do not have the virus. As you said Sass, the sooner you start an aggressive treatment with antiretrovirals, the higher your chances are of significantly reducing your viral load. Now I am not saying this lady has to stay with the guy or shouldn’t. Contrary to most of the comments here, the answer is not that straightforward. I will however urge her to do thorough research on the topic, weigh her options and make an informed decision. Knowledge is power. I wish her well.

      To those who think HIV is a function of homosexuality please think again. You are just as at risk as the next gay man. I have handled cases where a wife got it from her philandering husband. I have seen cases of contraction through blood transfusion at childbirth…in a country like America. It could happen to anyone, even you. So judging a person’s morals based on their HIV status does not compute. Worry about keeping yourself educated and safe and let’s leave the judgement to the only person that has a right to do so, God.

  14. bruno

    May 7, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    bellanaija post bruno FIERCE’s comment.

  15. bruno FIERCE

    May 7, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    just look at all the ignorant mumus we have
    today in the comment section.
    ” I am sure you won’t want to bring
    hiv positive kids into the world that is if
    you plan on having kids with him”
    just look at this statement. very nigerian very
    foolish.

    @posh. I’m glad ur eyes have opened. I’m sure
    someone like u believed hiv is a gay disease
    and only gay people have hiv but this situation
    must have opened ur ignorant eyes. praise the
    lord.

    hiv positive people can have kids who are hiv
    negative. Google is ur friend pls use.
    if the guy takes good care of himself and he
    takes his meds and his blood work is
    undetectable ,there’s nothing to worry about.

    u two will u use a condom to have sex every
    time that’s all. u can have kids without
    infecting ur self or the child. hiv positive people can have children who are negative thanks to science.

    it takes a strong willed person to marry or date
    a hiv positive person.

    marrying or dating a hiv positive person does
    not mean u are settling for less.

    pls stop the hiv stigma.

  16. If i had one wish

    May 7, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    One day i dream of better treatment in africa and third world countries where people have to suffer and be stigmatized of things they never wished for upon themselves or where born that way.One day i dream that people will not be so judgemental and just wish each other better lives and seek their neighbors well being.I was born with HIV and handicapped.No legs i am now married with 3 kids.None are positive and neither is my husband of 9 years.He knew then and always stood by me.I wish for more people with such large hearts.many people need to be loved, illinesses or disfigurements.I believe we might get there, but the again i can only dream

  17. ola

    May 7, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    lol….so many comments here are easy to say when you dont have the virus,as for me the name HIV alone sef dey fear me…i remember going for a test and went for the result and they told me to come back that its not ready,na only me fit talk the amount of weight i lost during that period until i got the result saying negative

  18. passingby

    May 7, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    hate to burst your bubble and undecieve youall but 80 percent of HIV infection in Nigeria is from HETEROSEXUAL relationship. Every nigerian needs to test know their HIV status. I get test results back every single day and the stats have to be seen to be believed. It has Notting to do with hetro or homo oh!. It has a WHOLE lot to do with IGNORANCE OF THE HIGHEST LEVEL. My honest advice GO AND TEST. KNOW YOUR STATUS. KNOWLEDGE IS Power . This person will have a better quality of life compared to some living in ignorance. The lesson, here is not about homo sexuality or no homo, it’s about knowing YOUR STATUS. GO AND TEST YES I AM TALKING TO YOU!!!!!!

  19. hot momma

    May 7, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Some gals will jump at this opportunity without thinking twice if you can’t deal with it, tell him and walk away. there’s a million and one gals who will want to marry him let him go biko before you endup regretting ever meeting him. Marriage is for a lifetime, if you loved him we won’t be reading this your comment here.

  20. Mizzy

    May 7, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Truee dt n I agree Wt sass, Bt since she’s questioning d relationship, it’s best 4 her 2 quit. May God lead u 2 do d right thng

  21. hot momma

    May 7, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    It just goes to show that so many still aren’t educated on hiv and transmission during pregnancy, childbirth, et al. SAD…Educate urselves people don’t spend your youth on blogs and forget to read important stuff too. Check your nearest health centre for more information…

  22. Bisi Alimi

    May 7, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    I hate to comment on story about me and that will be the proper attention seeking that I have been wrongly accused of. However, reading the comments here I feel I need to provide some information and I hope the house will permit me to
    1- The conversation about HIV has moved on to the next level and I think it is very important we educate ourselves and not

    2- POSH- I want you to know you have nothing to be afraid of. Would you rather date a man who is HIV+ and never bold enough to tell you or the one that will tell you, give you the option to make a choice and appreciate his honesty? I can understand your fears, but really he is less of a threat that someone who is seems to be HIV-

    3- With treatment, one can live a healthy life with HIV+. Gone are the days when HIV=DEATH, today, millions of HIV+ people are even living longer than HIV- people. I am not here to promote or preach for acceptance, I am just here to let people know.

    I know my comment will come as attention seeking, but I think I need to talk it upon myself to at least share the knowledge that I have….

    Okay before I am accused on being a fake celeb, I am out of here…..

    • iba

      May 7, 2015 at 11:56 pm

      I truly admire you Bisi. I think you are a brave man. Lots of hugs and kisses from a fan who has always admired you from afar. Don’t relent; keep being yourself. YOU TOUCH LIVES; JUST KNOW THAT.

    • PRINCE

      May 8, 2015 at 11:54 am

      I just love you Bisi. You guys can think anything.

  23. 2015

    May 7, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Posh…what if that was a way of the guy trying to see how much you love him and how far you can go with him ?
    Did you go to the testing centre to reconfirm yourself?
    For all i care …its a test from him and even if he is truly positive …what will be your reaction if you are married and he tells you he is positive having doctored the pre marriage test result?
    Its a hard one and you need to think with your head this time and not your heart.

    • cindy

      May 8, 2015 at 12:41 am

      Who still gives that kind of test to see if a person loves him in this day? That means he was doubting before? That’s so childish and is enough reason to dump the guy sef.

  24. bruno

    May 7, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    @bisi alimi.

    u don’t need to apologise for educating the ignorant people.

    u are an inspiration to many, we want to know ur story. u have written ur name in the history books as an advocate for truth and equality.
    pls keep telling us about ur journey and experiences when u were in nigeria and now ur in london. if possible start a youtube vlog, I will watch.

    I was surprised when I found out u just turned 40. I swear I thought u were in ur early 30’s. good genes.

    don’t mind two faced hypocrite nigerians. they are angry and complaining that south africans have chased them out of their south africa but they are the same people who chased you (a nigerian citizen) out of your own country.

    bunch of hypocrites.

    • Anon

      May 9, 2015 at 7:22 pm

      Bruno is toasting Bisi. I wish I were Cupid

  25. Summer

    May 8, 2015 at 12:05 am

    This reminds me of a client I had in a lab where I used to work in Nigeria. When I started working there, she was already registered as an HIV positive client, hence she would come in periodically for tests and drugs. I admired her because she was very pretty, young (24), and had two children. Each time i ran her tests, her numbers were really good so I started checking her records and found that she constantly had very high CD4 counts and very low viral load. I was afraid to say anything initially because I was the youngest in the lab but I eventually spoke up and had the counsellor recommend an HIV test to her. She agreed and I ran the test numerous times but each time, it came up negative. I ran the most sensitive tests and she was still HIV negative!!! Turns out the center where she had been declared positive made an error and never double-checked!! bottom line is, when you get your test results, make sure they not only confirm serologically, but also run a western blot assay so that you don’t go through life ‘bearing’ an infection you don’t really have!! Confirmatory tests are more expensive but totally worth it!

    • oyin

      May 8, 2015 at 1:16 am

      wow.

  26. cindy

    May 8, 2015 at 12:34 am

    This guy’s sha. You are so selfish. You are propagating homosexuality so that others can be hiv positive like you abi?

    • Anon

      May 8, 2015 at 12:54 am

      You sound ignorant. Go and test your self , the results you got from HIV IS NOT MY PORTION CLINIC DOES NOT COUNT. Go and test your self Ewu

  27. minnie

    May 8, 2015 at 6:46 am

    I’m happy u have such a positve attitude with your status,Bisi.love n peace to u.

  28. Anon

    May 8, 2015 at 7:09 am

    just becos you SIN differently does not protect you from HIV. Go and research. Some off you laughing and pointing at the homo in the middle with HIV. It can strick anyone. All you need is one unfaithful, unsafe partner. Condom is your friend. Even in married relationship , if you suspect your spouse insist on condom. I know some of the bigger mouthed bloggers here will never be brave enough to insist dat their spouses use condom or even insist on regular HIV TEST. IN. Today’s world , one test is not enough . Once every three months, except you can vouch your life that your spouse is faithful. Most nigerian men are not faithful. Keep on decieving yourselves, thinking homo is being punished becos of gay tinz. Nonsense.

  29. Happy Child

    May 8, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Bisi thumps up for being so positive in a negative situation. I love you as a person, this is not a condemnation of any sort but homosexuality is a sin before the almighty God. I am a believing Christian who is constantly asking for God’s grace and mercy. I pray that God himself touches your heart and you see how gracious and undiluted the grace and love of God is.

    • grace

      May 9, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      Amen o. Also praying for your soul too.

  30. Lilo

    May 9, 2015 at 2:05 am

    Bisi seems relatable and likable. Kenny bademosi badmus on the other hand is outright annoying.

  31. Buchi

    January 7, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    Bisi you are a sent angel to those in torture your comment most time keeps my head above water,.. Love u from deepest

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