Connect with us

Relationships

To Move in before Marriage or Not? Watch Episode 6 of #NdaniRealTalk with Cornelia O’Dwyer

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

Published

 on

5Episode 6 of #NdaniRealTalk is here!

On today’s episode of #NdaniRealTalk, Nollywood stars Mofe Duncan, Wana Udobang and Deyemi Okanlawon with host, Cornelia O’Dwyer discuss a pertinent issue in ‘modern’ relationships.

1 2 3 4

Should people who are dating move in together before marriage?

What do you think?

Watch the episode below.

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

74 Comments

  1. CK

    August 18, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    After my failed marraige and realising my husband was only pretending and staying cool to ensure i dont opt out of the marraige, now i’m engaged i’ve insited that we move in together while planning the wedding – trust me its best for everyone.
    FYI some people dont pretend on purpose its just norml to look your best when going to see your partner but if you lived together you cant do that etc the same goes for other crucial aspects of your lives hence you can both get to know each otehr a bit more.

    • nonye

      August 18, 2015 at 1:59 pm

      Sista! I hail you o! Some of us still dey find numba 1 sef. “Aint mad at you” at all! Wishing you all the best, praying that second time is the charm! 🙂

    • Seriously

      August 18, 2015 at 4:15 pm

      Moving or not moving in still doesn’t determine the outcome of a relationship/marriage. Geez, This marriage issue is getting more and more complicated by day. But, I still believe there’s still some simplicity to it. You can live with someone all you want and still don’t know their true character/personality. Y’all can be sleeping on the same bed every night, giving your all and still cheats on you. Pretense, cheating, lying, dishonesty is a character flaw or problem of an individual. And it’s both ways in a relationship.

      Honestly, I’m doing it the old school way. I’m living with a man after marriage. I don’t sweat or worry about cheating in my relationship. And hopefully, i won’t waste my time on that in my marriage. Not bcos I think he will never do it, I just don’t have energy for such. Immediately, I see some character flaws I can’t deal with or tolerate, I don’t do it. I make it clear too, if you decide to cheat or do some crazy sh*t, it’s on you not me.

  2. Godsangel

    August 18, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    Co-habitation is a sin….besides he who gets the milk for free will be reluctant to purchase the whole cow…

    • Anon

      August 18, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      Is co-habitation as a precursor to marriage still a sin? I agree with Olu’s comment below. There’s no hard and fast rule to it.

    • SugaMama

      August 18, 2015 at 7:23 pm

      what do you mean by still a sin? The times may change, God’s word doesn’t.

    • Chinedu

      August 18, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      Godsangel, you are my friend for saying this . I cant stop laughing .

    • nonye

      August 18, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      Is cohabitation the sin, or is it the premarital sex that may occur during the cohabitation? Regardless, I definitely don’t believe in the concept of “free milk”. Its the whole cow or nothing.

    • Ona

      August 18, 2015 at 2:50 pm

      The whole cow or nothing? At the end of the day, its not about withholding sex from ur partner so they feel compelled to marry u. Its about looking out for ur self. Living with someone is a whole other ball game, and thats the only time u’d truly see them for who they are. Why then are pple so madly in love during the dating stages but end up despising each other or divorced once they get married and movie in?? #thoughtprovoking

      Not living with someone before taking that huge plunge to marry is a huge gamble and u really walk in blind….. u dont know what ure getting. So its either it works out well for u cos ur TRUE personalities actually mesh, or its a total disaster. Its really common sense. #urchoice

      Remember, people are prone to use their ‘representatives’ while dating in order to impress….na when marriage reach the real koko go set. #fact

    • Lawan

      August 18, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      I hope your cow has been purchased and rared in the finest of farms

    • nonye

      August 18, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      🙂

    • Tiki

      August 18, 2015 at 3:32 pm

      Where does it say in the Bible that co-habitation is a sin?

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 18, 2015 at 6:33 pm

      The book of ‘None chapter 0 verse 00’

    • Delta geh

      August 18, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      The Bible doesn’t say it explicitly but if you live in the same house with someone you have feelings for will you just be looking at the ceiling? It will lead to fornication so in order to avoid fornication, avoid cohabitation. The Bible says avoid all “appearance of evil” 1 Thess 5:22

    • Kech

      August 18, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      Godsangel. Thank you for being bold and standing by the word of God. God bless you and I celebrate you. No man deserves to see me finish before marriage. I trust God too much to give me a great man. The man he made me for. My bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And yes we will work on each other’s weaknesses for good. But I still trust God to give me a great man. I am surrounded with many good marriages, women and men who did not live in but trusted God as a responsible father.

  3. leftbrained

    August 18, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    I’m tired of this lame programmes
    Must it always be about relationships and dating? What about how to keep your homes, breastfeeding, baby caring, business ideas and so forth.
    People already knows what they want irrespective of whatever the watch or learn.
    This topic has been overflogged biko! Whether someone live in with his partner is nobody business as no two relationship are the same. What works for one may not work for the other depending on the personalities involved, upbringing, beliefs, families and thinking processes.

    No matter your decision, think about the end in mind. You dnt need to prove anything .

  4. sigh

    August 18, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    lol! we all have our opinion sha.

  5. Roci

    August 18, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    @Godsangel, you need to break this down , cos i don’t understand how cohabitation is really a sin ….. cos if u both live together and you decide to stay off sex , then i don’t see anything bad in that…..

    • iyke

      August 18, 2015 at 5:53 pm

      @God’sangel
      Stay off sex?Are you kidding me?How can I live with you and not have sex with you?what shall we be doing when we go to bed….praying rosary?Sweetheart,Attraction is not by choice – if by mere looking at me and smelling me can’t get you wet,biko forget about me…
      You and who dey do that living together without sex?seems there are loads of little girls on this blog….

    • Ebele

      August 18, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      LMAO!!!!

      You just made my head hurt from laughing!

      I thought i was weird but thank goodness someone agrees with me, you can get sooo attracted to someone that the mere sight and scent of them or thought of them gets you wet!!!

      As for the topic, to each his own. But as a woman who lives in her own apartment, i dunno how i will move into your house and leave my own cos we are dating/engaged. Maybe long weekends, one week on another off…I don’t know, like i said, to each his own.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 18, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      Stay together and stay off sex? hahahaha
      Ok boo, we “believe” you.

  6. ChiChiChilolo

    August 18, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    The Bible describes marriage as a committed relationship between one man and one woman that is sanctioned and blessed by God (Genesis 2:22-24). Furthermore, God instituted marriage to be between two people, a male and a female. Jesus added that it is to be permanent (Mark 10:7-9 – ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate). When it comes to living together before marriage, you may think you are fine just because you are “living together” and nothing more, but I would suggest that you are not. In the midst of living together, you are also opening the door to even more temptation between you two, and hurting any testimony you may have of following Christ as you proclaim that it is a God glorifying thing to live together before marriage. You are also in danger of leading others down a similar path towards sin because of your example (Romans 14:13-22). It is well.

    • Dots

      August 19, 2015 at 7:12 am

      Thank you for this comment. The bible does not state any law about co-habitation but putting principles found in the bible together will help us come to know it is wrong. It’s not until you have the ‘real sex’ before it is called a sin. If you keep thinking it, if you play around it leaving the anal or vaginal sex out, you have sinned.
      You can never get a perfect partner because we are all imperfect, marriage is an institution that requires a lot of work to build. Compromise, tolerance, understanding, willingness to forgive and many more are things that make marriage work.

  7. penny

    August 18, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    My boyfriend was offered a good paying job and had to move to the town where I stayed. He moved in with me; he did not have money $4000 to advance to the landlord. It was a hustle in the begining, in the middle I would question myself if it was a good decision I made. We ended up have so much sex so many times, my relationship with God was badly affected. At some point I told him to move out; we fought on issues and non-issues. A year latter we got married. My wedding night was nothing special, cos i have dtd with him I think the night before our wedding. Co-habitating is a personal decision, don’t let anyone impose. On the good side you learn a lot about your partner

    • Ona

      August 18, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      Lol. what? Ur issue is that ur wedding night wasnt special or that u regretted cohabiting, which one?? All u holy nwejes kill me. Did u enjoy ur first sexual experience in life??? So if u married him a virgin, would that horrible/painful sex u had with him on ur wedding night have made u feel bad too? That u cohabited with him made ur wedding night less special? lol. Guh, the sex probably wasnt good beause y’all had sex the day before….it happens to everyone abeg. U shouldve abstained from sex for weeks before ur wedding night to avoid the plateau effect.

    • Sugar

      August 18, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      See finish syndrome. Nothing special again. I feel sorry for you still.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 18, 2015 at 6:43 pm

      really Sugar? Really?

  8. Olu

    August 18, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    I’ve seen it work out perfectly and I’ve also seen it break down. There’s no almighty formula in this case.

    To each his or her own …..good luck

    • som

      August 18, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      hmmmm. This issue is sensitive one. My sis lived with her husband for about a year before marriage. It worked for them. I lived with my ex for years, but i decided to end the relationship because i kept saying i wasnt ready for marriage. He got angry and cheated on me and i saw it as an excuse to run. I guess i never really loved him but we got along so well.

      Just do you. I wont wear a religious hat now and start preaching the demerits of cohabitation because i have seen it work for loved ones. Sometimes, its just right you know. Yes, it might lead you to sin, so if you know your values are important to you, and you both cant control yourselves when you are together, please don’t do it. For me, when i go against my values, i become unhappy.
      So, please do what makes you happy but do it with both eyes open.

    • Olu

      August 18, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      Come and see ooooo …..na lady be dis wey talk say she never ready for marriage ooo LOL.

      I suggested this one time and I was shouted down by females who said there’s no naija lady that will turn down a marriage request from a man she’s dating.

      see oooo 🙂

    • jennietobbie

      August 19, 2015 at 6:28 am

      OMGGGGGG!!!! I thought I was the only one. Please, Som and Olu, we need a SKYPE date!!!!! I cannot believe what I just read!!!!!! Wow…

  9. word

    August 18, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    Heeeellll noooooo. Ladies don’t do it! It brings see-finish. Plus, you run d risk of the relationship dragging on the dating level.

    • Ona

      August 18, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      Story. As if marriage doesnt bring see finish?? A man who wants to marry u will marry u whther u’re dating or living together. Bone that thing.

  10. Tife

    August 18, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Nice convo………….Wana Wana i hail thee and ur flirty moves especially on mark 16:35

    • faith

      August 19, 2015 at 12:23 pm

      babes/bae, there’s no mark 16:35 :/

  11. amaka

    August 18, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    Cordelia reminds me of Toolz…so pretty.

  12. Jane Public

    August 18, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    It depends. I was team heck to the freaking no, no moving in, bla bla bla. Never moved it with any of my ex’s and the one and only person i moved in with, I am currently married to, and I won’t have traded living with him before marriage for anything. I think it sped up our marriage to be honest, because we had a fight once (i guess you can blame the settling down together phase) and I moved back to my apartment, the man proposed not too long afterwards. i.e. you can’t get mad and move anywhere. You are stuck with me for life. He wasn’t reluctant to purchase the whole cow, quite the contrary. hahahahaha.

    • notanutellalover

      August 18, 2015 at 7:21 pm

      Hi Jane! missed seeing your comments. Hope you are well hun?

  13. Thatgidigirl

    August 18, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    Why? When you have the rest of your lives to be together? What’s the hurry for? For me it’s not just about morality or values, it’s about enjoying your singleness before becoming double. My home is like a sanctuary, I actually look forward to getting home, being alone, sipping on that glass of wine and enjoying my solitude. I made the mistake of going as far as exchanging house keys with my ex and I regretted it. Dude would come over late and spend the night and he had a voracious appetite. I’d be forced to worry about feeding him and doing dishes when all I want to do after a long day is order take out, put my feet up and watch something relaxing. Meanwhile he had a cook in his house, go home and eat kwanu and we’d see weekend or something. When I get home I’d walk into my flat to meet my house scattered, he won’t pick up after him, pee on toilet seat…..haba!!!! I tried to make him understand that we both work and come home late and tired, so he needs to act responsibly it became an issue and I was accused of being selfish. I sha changed my locks, instead of wahala to dey make rain fall abeg. So for the sake of respect and sanity, stay on your own till you say I do. Marriage is full of surprises, you can’t know everything about anyone during courtship. Even my mum got to know new things about my dad after her died and I’m talking about 47 years of marriage excluding 2 years of courtship…..turns out daddy was FBI’s elder cousin.

    • Pacey

      August 19, 2015 at 8:01 am

      Side eye! If you didn’t share with your ex before marriage, how would you have realised that he didn’t like to clean up after himself?

  14. Bussy

    August 18, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    Co-habitation might work well for some and my not work well for others. While dating my ex, he slept over at my place about 4 times, he came only at night. I found out something that irritated me like crazy. Whenever he brushes in the bathroom sink, he would splash water everywhere and leave the faucet running for the whole time he is brushing which would be at least 4 mins. By the time he is done the toilet paper on the roll by the bathroom sink is soaked in water and i just have to trash it. He brushes as if he is brushing directly on the floor. When i told him about it, he absolutely saw nothing irritating about it. We were already having issues, so that was just the last straw for me. We were already talking about marriage at that point and i imagined living with him and having to see that every morning when i want to brush and trashing the tissue is definitely something i will nag about everyday which wouldn’t have been good. Everybody has their habits but there are some that are just down right irritating..

    • Tosin

      September 24, 2015 at 4:58 am

      separate bathrooms. are you a learner?

  15. mama v

    August 18, 2015 at 1:48 pm

    At the end of the day its all about values.we live in a society that has rules and as much as the couple should do what works for them they also have to try as much as possible to conform to the societies standards.in as much there are some happy endings from co-habitation before marriage the horror stories,problems and bad endings from it are more.its all good and fine when they the couple are all about “its us against the world”but when things go wrong you are judged by this very standards you choose to ignore.we didnt crawl out of holes so even as adults we are answerable to others be them parents,elders, God and the laws of the land.

  16. Bolu

    August 18, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    See wasszup guy, na fur and cap that guy on the street put for head for inside hot whether. 🙂

  17. Caroro

    August 18, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Hi There

    Im in RSA stayed in SA with an awesome Nigerian Men and yes it was for Convenience from both of us, houses are expensive but it was wonderful. Unfortunately he had to go back to Nigeria and I was not prepared to live my sick Mother.
    We still great friend and talk often.

  18. Babytohcute

    August 18, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    So this is kinda off topic. My ex (guy) has slept over with me twice on different occasions (I dint suggest it oh, just saw guy with bag). Plus he’s still a little shy(according him sha) around me after all these years. Abeg oh this man I can not read. What do you think/suggest?

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 18, 2015 at 6:58 pm

      we need more info. This ya gist never enter well for us (well, for me) to give my 2 kobo

    • Ready

      August 18, 2015 at 7:34 pm

      Your ex. Nne, why are you then seeming to make this a topic to discuss? Ex ni na,

    • MC

      August 18, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      You can’t read him.
      So how do you expect any of us to understand and have thoughts/suggestions from the nothing you have just typed.

  19. Adenike

    August 18, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    To start with, to each their own. I’m not perfect but I believe in Gods standards. It’s a good model for marriage and relationships. Gods original and best person for you, is yours, but most of us aren’t patient or discerning enough to know that or find it out. So they date cos of fine face, buff body etc, then now want to form P.I in the relationship. (I’m not saying you should be stupid, and not seek to know stuff about your partner). However the truth is it is just by grace (or luck) that you find out who a person truly is. Sometimes even the love you have for the person would cloud your eyes. My point is…move in oh, don’t move in oh. You can’t know everything. People that have been married for 30 years are still discovering themselves. Kris Jenner was married to Bruce for 25 years…little did she know.

  20. Adenike

    August 18, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Just to add, I was in a relationship, and didn’t even see the persons flaws until I got tired of the relationship, and subsequently left. I had invested time, money and love, but not up to the point of condemning myself to a bad relationship. Besides apart from the spiritual aspect sef. Isn’t it better not to make those financial investments, then be discarded like yesterday’s milk? I’m also not advocating stinginess in a relationship, but be careful! ESP if marriage is your ultimate goal. We have users in the world, and you don’t find out that they are, until you are in the relationship with them.

  21. Ona

    August 18, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    The whole cow or nothing? At the end of the day, its not about withholding sex from ur partner so they feel compelled to marry u. Its about looking out for ur self. Living with someone is a whole other ball game, and thats the only time u’d truly see them for who they are. Why then are pple so madly in love during the dating stages but end up despising each other or divorced once they get married and movie in?? #thoughtprovoking

    Not living with someone before taking that huge plunge to marry is a huge gamble and u really walk in blind….. u dont know what ure getting. So its either it works out well for u cos ur TRUE personalities actually mesh, or its a total disaster. Its really common sense. #urchoice

    Remember, people are prone to use their ‘representatives’ while dating in order to impress….na when marriage reach the real koko go set. #fact

    • nonye

      August 18, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      My dear, this has absolutely nothing to do with trying to compel anyone into marriage. It’s simply about basic principle. FYI, some people actually treasure their independence and are very cautious about who they wish to give it up for.

      Besides you can live with a man for ten years, marry him and right after he will do something that you would have sworn with the whole of your ancestry and lineage that he could never have done. Haven’t you heard of people who dated, lived together for yonks but right after they got married things wen’t kaput? Examples abound biko. Co-habitation is not a guarantee that things wont “go south”post-marriage. It’s not how long you live with each other that determines the success of your marriage, but how much work you are determined to put into the commitment. So decide on your principles and stick to them, and after you marry, put in the work!

      P.S – I believe premarital sex is a sin, if I like a guy enough to want to be around him that much, there is no guarantee I will respect my principles and “hold body”, best not to tempt fate. My beliefs.

    • nonye

      August 18, 2015 at 4:28 pm

      My dear, this has absolutely nothing to do with trying to compel anyone into marriage. It’s simply about basic principle. FYI, some people actually treasure their independence and are very cautious about who they wish to give it up for.

      Besides you can live with a man for ten years, marry him and right after he will do something that you would have sworn with the whole of your ancestry plus your mother’s entire lineage that he could never have done. Haven’t you heard of people who dated, lived together for yonks but after they got married things went kaput? Examples abound biko. Premarital co-habitation is no guarantee that things won’t “go south” post-marriage. It’s not how long you live with each other that determines the success of your marriage, but how much work you are determined to put into that commitment. So decide your principles and stick to them, and after you marry, put in the work!

      P.S – I believe premarital sex is a sin, if I like a guy enough to want to be around him so much, I can’t be certain that I will adhere to my beliefs and “hold body”. Best not to tempt fate. My beliefs.

  22. Fix it

    August 18, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    For me the first year or even second year of marriage is like hell because you find out a lot of subtle flaws about each other you didn’t know about -like the sound he makes while brushing or other inconsequential traits. So if you love your boyfriend or fiancé, moving in with him before marriage may almost guarantee a fast breakup! Even your own sibling will irritate you not to talk of your prospective husband/ wife that you have only known for a few years. You cannot know everything about a man or woman before marriage even if you move in together first. Marriage changes things, each party becomes more relaxed, the fights gets more intense but with time and patience you learn to tolerate and stop annoying each other. Why do you think most marriages break up within the first two years? Those are the learning stages. Once you bypass them your marriage will only get stronger.

  23. Cleareyes

    August 18, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    Hmm. Not one to comment but here goes.
    1. Moving in together is now considered a sign of commitment to a relationship. Unfortunately, you just commit to a life of testing each other while everyone tries to reserve some personal dignity. Wont work in my view cos commitment isn’t about setting out tests for each other to pass. its choosing to fix whatever your relationship throws at you before and after marriage.
    2. If you want to get to know each other, be open to doing so. If you aren’t honest, dont expect another person to be and trust me, you will continue to find a new thing out for the rest of your life, hence deciding to be committed in the first place. If you can’t live in peace with your sister or friend of the same sex in peace, twil transfer to other relationships. Just be a good human being before setting rules for others.
    3. Na this cohabitation dey cause relationship for 11 years before marriage these days. Why would I spend millions on a wedding when the only difference will be somebody changing their name and answering Mrs. Plus i got the cleaner, cook and Caro for free. Twill only cost me dinner and some smooth yarns every now and again. I think ladies should have more self worth. Don’t do it simply cos you are modern and you can. If women would be ladies, boys would be men.

  24. delta geh

    August 18, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    I love Cornelia O Dwyer… No fake accent, she speaks so eloquently, very beautiful woman too

  25. DD

    August 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    hI 5 to Godsangel……Moving in with him will only lead to pre-marital sex( which is the sin) and will only make you a loyal housegirl without payment.. he has not married you yet and you move in to make plans for him to marry you, after he done all the IN-TI-MACY moves (a.k.a you have let him iN -TO SEE you finish), he will be relectuant to go ahead to MARRY YOU and even after he has seen you finished and married you, what will be exciting again?. That fresh spark of she’s now mine or i’m now his, in knowing each other for the rest of your life will really not be there. I’m for move in after the church blessing…Cos even with these traditional weddings /engagement these days , with the traditional mentality of some naija in law, most use the opportunity to knock babes up, he can always leave you after traditional marriage, afterall it’s done by man and plenty girls and men can easily put asunder… Na for church wey ” What GOD has joined together let no man put asunder. PLEASE LADIES SHINE YOUR eye, no point rushing to move in when you still have the rest of your lives ahead of you.

  26. Godsangel

    August 18, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    @Nonye and @ anon, the same way a lie is still a sin besides we are adults we know what sin is it cant and wont change till d end of time….now I thank @chichichilolo for the breakdown, a man is to leave is father and mother and cleave to his wife not boo or girlfriend… Marriage is an institution and we learn everyday about our partners. In this evil world where people are pretenders, if u like co-habit 5 years before u marry u can not still know that partner 100%, why? because human beings change and change dey say is the only constant thing. Of course u can visit ur partner but living together removes the respect and value a man ought to have for his woman. Thank you.

  27. Person

    August 18, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Team moving in abeg! Even before engagement. How else will I know if you snore like an ero-ilogi? And yeah, this is a deal-breaker for me. #doyou boo. 🙂

  28. iyke

    August 18, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Unfortunately, the two gentlemen on the program could not articulate any objective reason for or against cohabitation. Their reasons are lame and immature.
    Lol – ‘living in sin’ comments made me laugh – the handy way of referring to people living together by the prayer warriors ….lol
    Listen folks,it’s not about ”is living together before marriage a good idea?’ That’s a SILLY question…..about as silly and archaic as ‘Is having sex before living together a good idea?’
    In my opinion, I am all for cohabiting. It is quite positive for me as I want to spend time with the person that I am dating. Secondly, it makes good financial sense too. We will have sex, lots of sex – and so what?
    I think the question people should be asking are the motivations, for living together before marriage. Do they want to spend more time together, or unsure of the relationship and want to test it?
    If I am already committed to you, defined my goals with you and you find me worthy, I see no reason why we shouldn’t move in together before marriage.
    That is not to say that co habitting doesn’t have it’s downside – Yes, there is a point and I agree, that lovers that live together will have a harder time breaking up, even if the relationship has serious weaknesses or problems. lol – Yes, it has happened to me in the past. And I have also seen some people marry someone they would not have married if they’d never moved in together. Nonetheless, if two mature adults have clear cut goals of the direction they want to take their relationship to, I believe it’s a good idea to live together and plan towards the eventual marriage.

  29. Tosin

    August 18, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    What i wanna say is not far from what have been said earlier, but we should bear it in mind” bible is the standard for all christian”, most updated in different version,app and has never lost it value till date. Relationship differs, personality and people involved must apply God’s wisdom to achieve their own desire in whatever they want in life. This issue is a sensitive topic which is bed rock in which other aspect falls, people walkng in these path must fulfill God’s ordinance which is in(Genesis 2:22-24). ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ That can only be achieve after wedding(bed undefile). Do we all notice that bed undefile has been kicked out of equation due to civilization or exposure as we may call it, If we can go back to basic this issue won’t be a bone of contention here. But i know is rather difficult for everyone bcos of hidden motive. But let’s act according to level of our faith unto him who has called us and do what we think is right if we’re heavenly bound. Do Not Think am out of this world but that is what scrpiture says.

    • Nana

      August 19, 2015 at 12:56 am

      why r u assuming that everyone here is a christian? U pple kill me i swear.

  30. Lovethisrealtalkwebisodes

    August 18, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    LMAO @ 9.35- 9.43. “Me, move in?”Naija guys and their egos mennnn. Everyone had to jump in to salvage the situation. Cornelia was like, “Oh, excuse me”. Lol
    No one raised the issue of moving in together for economic reasons. Rent ain’t cheap biko.
    I think that living with someone because you want to “truly know” the person before marriage is complete bs. We all go through metamorphosis/evolution through out life. People become better, people become worse. When you get married, you make the commitment to stay and work it out through the other person’s idiosyncrasies, disgusting habits and all. Barring extreme abuse, emotional or physical, i think people need to make more of an effort. The grass is greener where you water it.
    Only immature babies walk away from relationships over things like the tooth paste cap is open, she can’t cook, he snores. Excuses excuses. If the relationship don tire you, just say so.

  31. Lovethisrealtalkwebisodes

    August 18, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    True love transends petty quirks

  32. Ndidi

    August 18, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    Different strokes for different folks. I am with @tosin on this one. I will go by my christian values and the word. For that reason, I will not be cohabiting with any man prior to marriage.
    I don’t want to perform wifely duties for a man who is not my husband. I am very caring by nature and know that I will go way and beyond for any man I am inlove with so living with him takes this to another level. I am not ready for the attachment that comes with cohabiting with him prior to marriage..we all know heartbreak hurts but cohabiting with someone only to break up later makes the moving on process a lot harder. I am a very independent person and enjoy my space a lot. I will visit every weekend and weekdays if chance permits, but living together is a no no for me. Some circumstances will cause unmarried couples to live together, take for example, financial problems, health issues or just one partner needing some form of stability from the other. I get it folks which is why I said different strokes for different folks. Enjoy your day loves.

  33. Ms Latunde

    August 18, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    I worked in London and was getting tired of my commute from outside London. The boyfriend lived in London and was coming up to the end of his lease. I was looking to move to London and one day he sent me links to an amazing large penthouse apartment with the simple statement that it was “ours” if I wanted to move in with him. I agonized over the decision for a long time before breaking it to my parents (separately) that I was leaving home the next weekend to move in with my boyfriend. They were both so cool about it they astounded me. Mom offered to talk to dad if he kicked up a fuss and dad said the same thing about talking to mom if she gave me a hard time haha. Bless them.

    Living with the boyfriend was a strange experience. In the beginning it was fun because we got to spend lots of time together, went out regularly and just had the sense that we were happy in the privacy of our own home. His Catholic parents who lived in Africa weren’t too happy about the situation so the boyfriend asked me to marry him (to appease them). I didn’t get what the big deal was. We had sex before we moved in together and continued having sex whilst we lived together so really what was the point of pretending sex wasn’t happening?

    I wouldn’t live with a man again before marriage mostly because my first experience of doing so bottomed out so badly. Do what feels right for you at the time you make a decision, If it was the wrong decision? Simply make another decision (to leave, to not do it again, to do it differently.. whatever).

    P.S. Deyemi really broke my fragile heart when he mentioned he was married (to a woman that is not ME!) Like really?!! WHY??? In my head we were going to make beautiful babies and live happily ever after…

    • Nana

      August 19, 2015 at 1:02 am

      Didnt u say he proposed to u? why r u lusting after deyemi? lol

      btw, why are u referring to where his parents live as ‘africa’? Sounded really wierd, instead of mentioning their country they live in. Seems like what a non-african would say. Your name is yoruba so im assumong u are even nigerian.

  34. ty

    August 19, 2015 at 12:11 am

    this marriage na wa ooo….. see long comment .im just happy people this days talk about love instead of hate. marriage is a a beautiful thing and i wish everyone what they wish themselves in their marriages

  35. Duchess_ibkgeorge

    August 19, 2015 at 4:11 am

    Nope!Dont believe in it .

  36. Tosin

    August 19, 2015 at 4:25 am

    I started around the 2/3 point, which was cool, the voxpop’s usually way nicer than the table. Now they’re back to the table with closing remarks…

    Main lesson, one chick said, easy move in, easy move out. Easy does it.

  37. Finna be married

    August 19, 2015 at 6:57 am

    I cohabited with my soon to be husband for a long time, sometimes we had lots of sex, for periods (as long as 6 months) we abstained. Through at the entire experience our respective flaws didn’t deter our love . I never felt disrespected, he asked me to marry him without any pressure or tricks. Cohabitation is not the sin, “having sex before marriage” is the sin for some. So all you non cohabitors, raise your hand if you’ve never had sex with someone you weren’t living with. Btw marriage is not the price, if a man will treat you like shit before you marry he will continue to do so after, so why would I wait to find out. Also people, there was no spark after years of cohabiting, you realise you are about to be cohabiting forever after you marry right? Better light that spark up, as often as you can!

  38. Dots

    August 19, 2015 at 7:23 am

    Our parents never had the luxury of seeing each other (there was always an intermediary) during courtship let alone indulge in co-habitation yet their marriages worked and lasted years (for few that eventually divorced). Today, we have so many co-habitation and the ‘it will help me understand my partner’ line yet we have a very high divorce rate.

  39. BiBi

    August 21, 2015 at 11:19 am

    Ladies would never have sense. When there is a repercussion in a relationship,ladies mostly bear the conssequence. So you move in when you are not married and then wonder why the man has slowed down on paying bride price. Men have house a lady and then married the one that was had to get and maintained chastity till the end. you move in and say you would not have sex. What about the near sex syndrome you guys always have. Stop deceiving yourselves. Ladies especially,you need to have common sense. He wants you to move in,then come and give respect to my parents and maary me off.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php