No, this is not a guy asking for a girl’s number. It’s the girl asking for a guy’s number. Yeah…yea…. I see ladies doing taka sufe over their heads saying God forbid. Me, ask a guy for his number? From the days of Adam, a man goes after a woman not the other way around.
Ehn Ehn… remain there until you are 50 with cobwebs down there, albeit with your dignity intact. We shall readdress this issue at that time and you can tell me if you still feel the same way.
I just had a discussion at lunch with my friends about a girl toasting a guy. I love seeing people come together in a healthy relationship and honestly, I don’t even care anymore how it happens. It is the end result of an issue that matters, not the beginning.
When I host an event, I make it a point of duty to single out the ladies, and tell them to shine their eyes for they are not there to eat jollof rice only. Stop waiting for the boys to initiate a conversation, because by the time he figures which girl is the prettiest or most attractive in the room the party will be over. Can I please use this medium to beg all those people who handle lightening at events… your lights are getting darker and darker and making it impossible for the men to see the girls. Please there is enough confusion already with the wigs, makeup, false butt etc., don’t compound their problems abeg. Let there be correct light so they can see the girls.
This issue of who should ask who out is always going to be a bone of contention. Even 50 years from now I suspect my feminists and convenient traditionalists would frown upon it. I personally have grown out of that mindset and I really don’t see anything wrong with it.
I believe minimization is key. Don’t go overboard with the whole thing. Just say something so he knows how you feel and let him take it from there if he wants to. Most would argue that during a future dispute the man would throw it in your face “After all I didn’t ask you out, you asked me out”. While this could very well be true, I can also say that if such a guy does the toasting he could still say to you “gerraurahere, there are plenty girls out there waiting for me”. This whole thing just depends on the quality of man you try it with.
My friend Demi now pipes up saying, “ahh I’m for it o, I asked Ladi out and it’s working our perfectly for us.” So the story is this right, Demi is a proper feminist babe. I mean the kind that would be standing there and not attempt to open a door by herself if she’s with a guy. She has this list of expectations that I can’t even begin to deal with.
We went out to a lounge one day to celebrate a friend’s birthday, the friend’s fiancé came with his own crew of friends and Ladi was one of them. I won’t lie though; Ladi was helluva handsome, well groomed and very quiet. While the other guys were turnin’ up Ladi was quiet most of the evening, smiling and laughing when appropriate. Demi and I spotted him, immediately exchanged looks, and a nod (the nod means get on your phone NOW). We start texting about Ladi and how reserved he was but oh so good-looking etc. I ask Demi to go talk to him since I don’t want …. to break my head now. Demi throws me this look like me ke, for what now, Seun abeg it is not that serious. I shook my head and said okay o I’ve heard. Next thing I know, we see this well-endowed girl approach Ladi and I promise you she literally had her chest in his face, and she was being very touchy feely. Ahhh, I looked at Demi and sent a text to her “wo, aya aiyeraiye (look, chest of life babe ) is taking your destiny away…. you better do something.
For some reason Demi just got up immediately and walked to Ladi, whispered something in his ear, and he got up, excused himself from chest of life and hit the dance floor with Demi. The rest is history and they are getting married soon. Demi claims she doesn’t know what made her make that move that day.
It turns out Ladi is a very shy person. He has always been this way and has literally asked one girl out his entire life. He meets girls he likes, but cannot bring himself to do the needful. His friends have actually been the ones talking to girls on his behalf and they turn him down thinking he must be a “small boy” since he can’t toast directly himself.
Now, I’m not saying you should go and be toasting guys up and down o. I’m just saying what’s so bad about it? Is it such an awful thing to do the unnatural? I mean, countless “natural wooing methods” have ended up in the gutter anyways.
Have you asked a guy out before? Or told a guy outright that you like him and want to be with him? How did that work out for you? Is there a guy you really like, and is taking forever to say something to you but you know he likes you as well? Will you send him a text or something about how you feel and let’s hear what his response is.
Different is dope!
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Hongqi Zhang aka Michael Zhang