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Joro Olumofin lists “10 Things you Shouldn’t Do When you Meet a New Guy”

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Joro Olumofin

Ladies, 10 things you shouldn’t do when you meet a new guy or new catch.

(1) Don’t take your friends along with you when he invites you on a date
(2) Don’t go to his house unannounced
(3) Don’t ask him for money
(4) Don’t compare him to your ex or talk about your ex, only if he requests
(5) Don’t get drunk on your first outing with him
(6) Don’t wear see through or exposing outfits on your first outings
(7) Don’t bore him with all your family or personal issues
(8) Don’t talk about Marriage
(9) Don’t pry about the size of his pocket, his earnings or the car he drives
(10) Don’t be too quick to post his picture on instagram, Facebook, (social media) etc.

Some Ladies today wonder why after a guy has shown interest in them or after 2/3 dates he disappears or doesn’t return their phone calls, text, whatsapp or bbms. I have listed some of these reasons above.

1) Don’t take your friends along when he invites you on a date: Some Nigerian Ladies for some reason that is beyond me, take their friends on a date with a guy they just met. I can attest to this because it has happened to me before. No positive outcome can come out of this but some of the negatives are: (i) The guy will be turned off (ii) He may start liking or prefer one for your friends to you (iii) He will never get the opportunity to know you as much as he wants because of the 3rd wheel (iv) He may think you don’t have a mind of your own (v) He may turn you and your friends back

(2) Don’t go to his house unannounced: One thing a man hates the most is for you to show up at his house unannounced or invited especially when he just met you. That’s a “NO NO” because he’ll just think you’re a stalker or a psycho and he’ll act out.. Some ladies out of emotions and lack of trust show up at a guys house, what they don’t know is they are pushing him away or giving him reasons to leave

(3) Don’t ask him for Money: Some Ladies meet a guy and in less than 2/3 weeks the demands start rolling in. Please pay for my Brazilian hair, buy me birkin / Chanel bag for my birthday next week, my rent is due, or plain & simply, I need 500k or 1 million. Most guys would take off when they meet a Lady like this. They would say she’s opportunistic and compare her to the ladies who are not asking them for a kobo or dime.

(4) Don’t compare him to your ex or talk about your ex, only if he requests: Some Ladies compare and contrast their new guy to their old one, not only in their mind but to his face as well. They say things like my Ladi used to take me to KFC you’re taking me to Mr Biggs, Jide bought me Prada for my birthday last year you’re buying me Zara? . Guys hate being compared, it punctures their Ego so allow him be the Boss and take you out, don’t compare or dictate terms of dates or gifts.

(5) Don’t be to quick to upload his pictures on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (Social Media) : Ladies, you just met a guy, a new flame, the relationship is at its early stages, there’s still so much you don’t know about him why upload his pictures for the world to see? The relationship may not even be defined yet.. By doing this, you’re giving people room to influence and alter your infant relationship. Also you don’t want to be like those people who have to cleanse their instagram and Facebook pages of a guys picture every 6 months because of a breakup. Some ladies have a new boyfriend on Instagram every 3 weeks, after a heartbreak they delete old pictures and add new ones.

(6) Don’t wear see through or exposing outfits on your first date: Guys are very Impulsive and instinctive by nature, by wearing a dress or gown that’s says “SEX” that’s all that will be on his mind and nothing else. He won’t want to hear anything about you anymore; your personality, your job, your family etc. All he’ll be thinking about is how he’ll take you to his house or hotel room because you’ve sent him a signal saying you want sex.

(7) Don’t bore him with your Family issues: Some ladies carry their personal or family problems out with them on dates, instead of making waves and progress with their new guy, they talk about how their house got burnt last week, or how their friend always borrows money or clothes from them, or how they hate their sisters or brothers.. All these are TMI (Too Much Information) Focus on him and let him Focus on you.. Don’t allow extraneous variables creep in and take over your conversation.

(8) Don’t talk about marriage or the future: The number one thing guys are scared of after God is the “C” or “M” word. “Commitment or Marriage” so if you just met a guy and you’re already talking about marriage or children he is definitely going to take off and say you’re putting him under pressure and he can’t keep up.. Let him be the one to bring it up not you because he’ll say you’re desperate.

(9) Don’t pry about his pocket, earnings or the car he drives: A friend of mine went on a Blind Date at Radisson (Lagos) to meet a Lady who his cousin had introduced him to through Instagram. He complained he had not even ordered a drink when his date asked him: What car do you drive? That was her first question.. “What do you drive?” He said he wondered do you want to date me? Or date my car? Most guys would be offended by this and even have a negative impression about you immediately, because a guy would wonder do u like me or my car?. Focus on him, his future plans etc

(10) Don’t get drunk on your first outing with him: Firstly Ladies, this is for your own safety a lot of ladies have been taken advantage of because they were intoxicated. You also don’t want to embarrass yourself and say or do things that you can’t defend or verify.

69 Comments

  1. O~Intuition!

    December 11, 2015 at 11:25 am

    Noted! Thanks

    So What are the 10 Things one Shouldn’t Do When one Meets a New Girl/Lady/Chic/Babe ?

    • dunni

      December 11, 2015 at 11:36 am

      He is not a lady, he can’t give an expert opinion that. Let a woman write about that.

    • O~Intuition!

      December 11, 2015 at 2:18 pm

      Well, he is (allegedly) a ‘Professional Psychologist’. Hence he should give ‘expert opinion’ on both MALE and FEMALE.

    • ATL's finest

      December 11, 2015 at 11:41 am

      Lol all of these applies esp #3 (both parties.
      I don’t understand why folks carry out #1, 7, 8, & 5 . that’s just a BIG NO-NO. In fact, all of it is a No-no for both parties.

  2. Ladylady

    December 11, 2015 at 11:31 am

    This muffin guy winds me up! what do you know young man? please go and sort yourself out…silly omoboy!

    • Dami

      December 11, 2015 at 1:49 pm

      @ladylady

      He knows absolutely nothing. Majority of men, are undatable. Women have learnt to just deal and tolerate their shenanigans. Yet they still want more. Get lost, dude.

    • Web Man

      December 11, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      it is because you practice what he has said na, so you are feeling guilty already

  3. Ross

    December 11, 2015 at 11:34 am

    Joro Olofin, could you kindly do one for yourself and your fellow Nigerian men?
    1. Do not ask a woman if she can cook on the first date
    2. Do not CIA your way into a girls financial status on the 1st, 2nd or 10th dates.
    3. Do not ask a girl if she can cook for you at her house.
    4. Do not ask a girl if she is the one training her siblings.
    5. Do not take a girl out to meet your friends for their approval.

    These are a few that make women lie if they’re desperate for a man and then you marry her and say she was pretending, meanwhile you were not in earnest.
    You men should lecture yourselves and stop giving women unsolicited advise.

    • tosin adegbite

      December 11, 2015 at 12:05 pm

      @Ross….God bless you for this piece!!!!!!!!! loud it

    • MIA

      December 11, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      God bless your good heart!!

    • O~Intuition!

      December 11, 2015 at 2:19 pm

      Thank You! ** xoxo **

    • biols

      December 11, 2015 at 3:01 pm

      kaiiiii God bless u ross you shall meet your break through before the end of december

    • Idomagirl

      December 11, 2015 at 8:07 pm

      You forgot “are you a virgin? how many men have you dated/slept with?”

    • T4Toyin

      December 12, 2015 at 4:02 am

      A million gbosas for you!

  4. Ross

    December 11, 2015 at 11:35 am

    Joro Olumofin ..sorry typo

  5. missRi

    December 11, 2015 at 11:50 am

    Help a sister please
    I’m in my early 20s, been in a relationship for almost 6 months. The way my ego is setup I cannot ask a guy for money and I don’t necessarily need him to give me money, my parents still care for me, He has money, I have too(enough for my needs and wants) so I don’t bother with the whole financial aspect of the relationship however a few people in my life think that he should at least offer to pay some bills or buy gifts or even airtime. Men should want to take care of their women. I know if he offers I might be like don’t worry about it, but at least that would show that he is not tight fisted. One time I deliberately complained about being broke (hint). All he said was, “have you called your dad”? Two days after, he called excitedly to tell me he just received 200k, how he planned to spend it and not even a mention of my situation. I’m certainly not stupid in love but am I making big deal out of nothing?

    • Amz

      December 11, 2015 at 12:15 pm

      *clears throat* unless you want to be that one “aunty” who we know that pays the rent,kids school fees and funds the vacation my dear dust your behind and RUN!

    • mimi

      December 11, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Yes you are. Making a big deal out of nothing i mean.

    • flox

      December 11, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      That guy obviously is selfish, stingy, unsupportive, nonchalant, etc, and trust me you dont want to go down that road (dats what ill tell my sister).

    • Audrey

      December 11, 2015 at 12:58 pm

      To test him,ask him for money directly one of these days. Use his reaction to make a decision.

    • whocares

      December 11, 2015 at 1:00 pm

      @ Miss Ri – ask him. suppositions kill a relationship.. it is not a fight but if you are concerned about anything your bf does, then ask and say it no matter how terrible it is.. I would definitely ask but then again I am who I am. I might wrap it in jokes, but it is still coming out of me. Infact as he was telling me about the money I would throw in a “Mr. man if your sentence is not ending with how your windfall benefits me then what is it to me? He is your bf abi not just a toasteri.. and true you might not take the money but why tell you about his windfall if the other day before you said you were broke.. unless he wanted you to ask. Wo. I dont know jare. Ask. that is all I know.

      PS: do you know the moffin man , the moffin man, the moffin man, do you know the moffin man who gives inane advice?

    • Problemdey!

      December 11, 2015 at 1:13 pm

      My dear you are not. If you hint at being broke, he should be concerned. At first, my boyfriend never bought me a pin. Fear catch me o. Not because I am poor or anything but because giving is a part of loving. One day I mentioned it to him and said “you have never bought me even earring, that day that day, he bought earring”. Next time he traveled , I said “buy something for me o” and he exceeded my expectation. What am I saying, if you have hinted, then he should be doing something about it by now. If he isn’t even offering to buy anything at all at all after you don hint finish. you might have a problem o!

    • Gold digger oshi

      December 11, 2015 at 1:40 pm

      Why putting eyes in his money? Is it his money u want or him? Just 6 months and thats the only flaw you see in him? money money money….

      Listen girls, no guy is your father. If you cant take care of yourself, keep it moving. Relationship/Marriage is for matured people-financially, emotionally….if you can’t take care of yourself, dont date/marry

      He just received 200k…ehn so what? you must have your own share init?

      Girls and money. Na money go kill you

    • SOMAZ

      December 11, 2015 at 2:57 pm

      – wipe close your mouth. I cant even date a guy for 6 months without asking for money I’m I mad? For your info I earn 250k. I have a plot of land at Ajah another at Agbara plus I’m just 25. Nne if a guy claims to be dating you and cant spend on you RUN. Your his responsibility. I’m sure when you two go out on a date and someone complements your outfit he feels good about it? As a red blooded Igbo girl I wont even let you smile for me, I will remind you that I got it and not you. 6 MONTHS AND UR COMPLAINING IF ITS ABOUT MONEY. BUT THE GUYS WONT LET YOU EVEN SAY YES TO AND THEY START ASKING FOR COOKIE!! Don’t make the requests too incessant though but if his your man he should speeeeeeenddd on you.

    • Tari

      December 12, 2015 at 12:00 am

      @Somaz, while i agree with most of your points, pls note that you are not any guy’s responsibility as long as you are not married.
      I sure do have a problem with my fellow men who want it both ways.

    • Web Man

      December 11, 2015 at 1:56 pm

      Run while you still can

    • LEM

      December 11, 2015 at 2:08 pm

      Sister, has he ever taken you out at all or do you give him that ‘independent woman’ vibe? Someone made a comment a while ago on an article on BN that whatever you present in your relationship is what you will live in your marriage (Assuming of course it ends in marriage). At the same time have you ever done anything for him, taken him out given him gifts? If you have and he does not reciprocate pls pls and PLS run. Except of course like @amz stated you wan be breadwinner

    • biols

      December 11, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      abeg vamooze this guy na aka gum

  6. melinda

    December 11, 2015 at 11:52 am

    the list is endless, abeg give us better tips. thanks

  7. Sugar

    December 11, 2015 at 11:53 am

    Uploading Boo’s pic on all social media………Hell No, that will not happen until when we finally choose a wedding date. Ive learnt my lesson in a very hard way. I don’t even put up his pic on bbm. Before people start helping you to count the number of breakups you’ve had if eventually the relationship dosent work out. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
    My bobo’s colleague came to my office and i asked if he knew so so so person and he said yes, he asked me how do i know him? i replied and said he’s my brother o and am his sister.

    We are family members in Christ. I can only lay claim to him when he proposes or we are married.

    • Amz

      December 11, 2015 at 12:11 pm

      My dear I’m so with you. Until that ring is on my finger the cyber world doesn’t need to know that we’re together.

    • Idomagirl

      December 11, 2015 at 8:08 pm

      Same here.

  8. Tosin

    December 11, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    Muffin, muffin! The man can make list!
    What happened to that face-painting big girls project? That was funny.

  9. Ehiwarior

    December 11, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    Why are we like this in Nigeria?

    Few years ago, every one wanted to play football, then it metamorphosed into singing, then blogging, now relationship coach.

    Every Tom, D**k and Harry is a relationship expert, even folks that cannot manage their own life.

    Dear writer,
    Thank you for this piece, you need it more than we all here.

    Kind regards.

    • Ross

      December 11, 2015 at 11:01 pm

      @Ehiwarior LOOOOOOOOLLLLOOOOOLLLLLLL LMAO. Se you know LOOOL.
      You said it. Everyone is now forming relationship expert. Him, Charlie Boy and Alibaba who I used to respect before.
      Foolish men won’t go and train younger men for a better Nigeria, be giving women advise nobody asked them. Mschweuuu!

    • Hatsoff

      December 13, 2015 at 8:54 am

      Chai!! *in patience Jonathan’s voice”

  10. Ifeoma N.

    December 11, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    Wow. Oh My God!!
    Such deep insight!!
    Who would have thought?

    • whocares

      December 11, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      I just have to ask.. you are being sarcastic right? Yes, you are. Never mind. I have answered my own question *skips away happily*

    • Enigma

      December 12, 2015 at 8:20 am

      You have me rolling on the floor in laughter. Thank u.

  11. Las

    December 11, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    1 Thing You Should Do When You Meet A New Guy – Be yaself!

  12. l

    December 11, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    when we decide not to pay attention to this guy nonsense that would be the day he will stop this relationship guru nonsense!! everyone is now a relationship guru… silly rabbit!

  13. Ada

    December 11, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    And the rules never end! Do this, do that, all to land yourself a man. Phew!

    123girlfriends.blogspot.com.ng/2015/12/how-to-land-husband-of-your-dreams.html

    • Somtoo

      December 11, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      Hahhahaha. i read this girlfriends blog post you put up there. I think it was intended to be sarcastic . lol. Well, i for one found it funny. If u want to land a guy – dont drive car; dont have driver; look him in d eye; no, dont look him in the eye. rotfl

      My people, just be yaselves o jare. As someone on the blog commented, You dont owe God marriage certificate when you get to heaven

  14. Hian

    December 11, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    who would have thought what? So all he listed up there are new to you? kontinu….

    • The real Ibinabo

      December 11, 2015 at 2:19 pm

      She is clearly being sarcastic

  15. deedee

    December 11, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    I do not totally agree with him No. 8 because;
    Any man who is ready for marriage and loves GOD wholeheartedly will not scam or take his heels, when he meets a woman and she is already talking marriage,
    its only guys that want to just play around or want to just get some nookie, that will take their heels.. It saves the guy or both of you the time. energy to waste tiem.

  16. Chi

    December 11, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    Who hurt this guy ? Painfully sad because he’s handsome . Just seems like a douchebag !!!!!

    • Omo

      December 12, 2015 at 4:13 am

      Handsome ke? Biko are we looking at the same face?

  17. Omaoma

    December 11, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    @Sugar, sooooooo true!!!!!!! I can’t even deal with the amount of monitoring spirits I have on my BBM….
    @Las, being yourself is the best way for me ohhhh because eventually, he’s going to discover the ‘real you’

  18. Sika

    December 11, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    I typed this in anger because i am tired of men writing so many lists about what they think women should and shouldn’t do. SO here is one for you men!! Excuse the errors if any.

    1. Do not ask her if she can cook.
    The fact is you men are looking for a wife and a house help all wrapped up in one. Don’t expect your babe to cook for you just because your mother does. And don’t think because your mother cooks for your father your babe should cook for you. How you gonna be expecting wifey duties when you haven’t wifed her up yet? How you gonna be expecting wifey duties when you aint doing dadday duties? You want wifey duties yet you have written a list about how a woman shouldn’t ask for shit.

    2. Do not tell a woman that she should cook because shes a woman
    If you do not go to the farm, or go to the forest to hunt for game, please do not expect your babe to be the one in the kitchen cooking you fresh meals like she aint got things to do with her life. Look, the kitchen is for everyone who gets hungry and that includes you men

    3. Dont approach a woman that is way above your level
    I mean, you disturb a young woman achieving great things for herself and you come into her life, disrupt it, not contribute anything meaningful and then go on to tell her to dumb down or massage your ego. You slow her down because her success makes you feel less of a man. Any normal quarrel ends up turning into her speaking to you in such a manner because of her success. But dude, you knew she was relatively successful so why has it all of a sudden become a problem? Please dudes, sort your self esteem out.

    4. Do not tell women that cheating is in a mans nature
    You lot must be crazy. Funny how you think women don’t like to ride on different cocks. Look, women love sex as much as men, but we have something you people don’t have, its called DISCIPLINE. Now thats the difference between a human being and an animal. Chetaing men are animals and belong to the zoo. A well respectful man who is disciplined DOES NOT cheat

    5. Dont bloody tell us what to wear.
    A womans body is HERS! Do not write rules on what she should and shouldn’t wear. We can wear anything we like on a first date as long as it makes us happy. If you cannot control your sexual thoughts or urges then thats on YOU. No woman wants to end up a man that cant control himself.

    6. Dont compare us to you EX girlfriend
    This one is self explanatory.

    7. Dont expect us to support your lazy ass when you have no Job.
    All you say is you are doing ‘business’. That business better pay or go get a normal 9-5. Don’t expect a woman to support you financially and when she doesn’t, don’t go around saying she isn’t a supportive wife. She was supportive of all your stupid business ideas that didn’t work now time is ticking and poverty is not cute. SO get it together!

    8. Dont expect us to be superwoman when you aren’t even clark kent
    You want us to give birth, lose the pregnancy fat, take care of the kids, work 9-5 or be entrepreneurs, contribute to the household, contribute to bills, school fees, travel expenses, come home after work (probably at the same time as you) and still enter the kitchen and cook? You people are mad. Where is the time in all this for a woman to care for herself? Then after that you will go out and chase a young girl and give the silly excuse that your woman let herself go. Maybe if you help her do some of the household stuff she would have time and energy to go to the gym.

    9. You men need to realise your mothers messed up with all the unrealistic expectations you have
    Yes. Your mother stayed while your dad beat her, cheated on her, abused her. She stayed and ‘kept her home’. YO! That ish aint gonna happen in this generation. Divorce rate is high in naija because women are not taking mens shit no nore. The earlier you people get with the programme the better for you

    10. You cannot be the head of the house and not contribute to the welfare of that house.

    Head of the house means you care for everyone in it. In our fathers days and grandfathers days that was the meaning. But once a womans contribution is 70-80%, my guy abeg just chill. Being born a man by chance does not give you the right to call yourself the head. In this generation, partnerships are whats best especially with the dwindling economy. I advice you people to look for a partner not a housemaid or a slave.

    • Las

      December 11, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      I read every single word you wrote.
      Blessings to you..

    • Lawan

      December 11, 2015 at 4:22 pm

      BRAVOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
      Tell em S!

    • SHINES TEETH

      December 11, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Babe I love you already. I met one few months ago that said “I like it when my woman obeys EVERYTHING I say”. This same nigga is also quick to tell me “But you work”when money matters come up. Meaning I should be both a man and a woman. Anyways since I’m both let me date myself.

    • bae

      December 11, 2015 at 9:07 pm

      @Sis. .. ‘Preach!!!!’ Sista preach! This warms my heart. Ministers to my soul. Pls how do I get this to my mail for some people?
      I’m singing ‘go Sista go sista’ Amen!

    • Ross

      December 11, 2015 at 11:02 pm

      @Sika, may the Lord bless you.

    • Tari

      December 11, 2015 at 11:56 pm

      On behalf of all real men, I salute you.
      Sincer apologies from the menfolk for this sorry epistle BN subjects its readers to on an almost weekly basis.

    • Tari

      December 11, 2015 at 11:58 pm

      On a related note, leave that discipline matter o. Nigerian women are now cheating as much as their men. The difference is in discreteness.

    • sika killed it

      December 13, 2015 at 12:23 pm

      You deserve 10billion dollars right now… damn gal

    • Chinco

      December 13, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Wow…I wish you could turn this to a proper article so I can post it on every social platform I belong to, I love your comment a million times.

    • sika is my girl

      December 14, 2015 at 1:07 am

      Yassssssss!!!!!! Sika thank you, God bless you! I wish I could buy you a beer or wine (whatever drink you like sha). let me scream Yessssss again.

  19. mahki

    December 11, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Simple! Don’t sugar coat anything, the real you will pop out anyways *shrugs*

  20. Teni

    December 11, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    Funny guy! we yaf heard u…………
    there are girls who have sex on the first date and get married to thesame person (not saying its right) but some people don’t care about rules.

  21. eva

    December 11, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Sika Sika!! u are my sister girl…..I could hug u to death ryyy now. u said it all. u said it all.

  22. Naomi

    December 11, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Seriously Mofin, we have heard. We would comply. Please talk to the male folk too.
    Every talk is about women. Give a talk addressing men too. Thank you.

  23. meelikey

    December 12, 2015 at 10:18 am

    @somaz I really love the word speeeeeenndd,its the most romantic word ever. Lollllll

  24. Seyi

    December 12, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    Daaaaayuuuum Sika!!! I love you!

  25. serendipity

    December 12, 2015 at 9:36 pm

    thank you Sika!!!

  26. oddy

    December 14, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    Ross is the main person here……..

  27. LadyDee

    December 22, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Sika!!!!!! You nailed it! I don’t know you but I love you! P.S. I have to copy your write up! BN! Please post this up!!! Some boys (they call themselves men) need to read this!

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