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Tiwa Savage gets 100% real in Genevieve Magazine: “They say you bond instantly with your baby but I didn’t have that instant connection”

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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Tiwa Savage Genevieve Magazine 2015 1Tiwa Savage gets refreshingly real in the Genevieve Magazine’s November 2015 issue where she opens up about dealing with her difficult pregnancy, life after having her baby and so much more.

We’ve put together some excerpts from her interview. It is really eye-opening and we love how honest Tiwa Savage was.

It is a great opportunity for new mothers and aspiring mothers to get some insight into pregnancy.

See excerpts below.

Pregnancy

On her pregnancy experience: It was very difficult. Yet, a lot of people did not see that side of it. While I was pregnant, I still had to put my artiste face on! I had to work, perform and attend events, but behind closed doors, the people close to me; my husband, my mum and the label, saw the struggle. In fact, before I came on stage, at the event where I revealed I was pregnant, I had just been throwing up in the car and I threw up for the whole 9 months! I also had pre-eclampsia towards the end of the pregnancy. It was a very tough pregnancy.

On having pre-eclampsia: Well, it’s a condition some women have towards the end of their pregnancy. For me, it was a period where I had high blood pressure, my feet got terribly swollen and I could hardly walk. Plus my baby was overdue by about 7-8 days! At the end, they decided to induce me to labour because they were worried about my condition. It was a very painful ordeal but I thank God everything went well.

Motherhood

On motherhood so far: I’m going to be as candid as I can be and Genevieve is the only press I’ve ever told. They say you bond instantly with your baby but I didn’t have that instant connection. I was in a 20 hour labour and just when I was about to push him out, his heart rate dropped, so there was a lot of panic in the room and we were all in tears. Then, when he eventually came out, everyone screamed “congratulations” and they had to put him on my chest to bond. Instead, when they did, I said “He is beautiful, but can I sleep for just one hour?” Thereafter, I was so overwhelmed, that for a week after delivery, I would cry every day. And I don’t know why that happened. The midwives thought I was suffering from depression but I guess a lot of first-time mums have felt that way. I think it is the overwhelming feeling of being responsible for another human being. Now, life is no longer a joke. I cannot do just anything I want. Yet, on the other hand, I am very protective of him. Being a mother has made me like a lioness, and I’m ready to bite anyone’s head off over him.

On not revealing her baby’s face: Well that’s his dad’s decision. Every mother wants everyone to see the picture of her baby. I want everyone to see how cute he is but I understand my husband’s perspective too. He is the head of the house so I have to respect his wishes. Eventually we will reveal his face but for now he wants only close family and friends to have the special moment to bond and not share it with the world yet.

Tunji ‘Tee Billz’ Balogun & Fatherhood

On her husband and the baby: Oh my goodness! He was so excited! I think he was even more excited than I was while I was pregnant. Say for instance, we have a disagreement and I go downstairs to the living room, he’d ask me to come back upstairs because he wants to speak to his baby in my belly. And then, he would lay his head on my stomach, and the baby would move and kick every single time Tunji did that. There was an instant bond from the beginning. Tunji has also been very helpful. He stays up to baby sit when I’m sleeping. He changes diapers, makes his food and is very hands-on with the baby.

On her husband’s other kids: That I cannot talk about because I don’t want to be in a position to speak for anybody else. I am not the one involved so I wouldn’t want to drag that situation into the limelight because it would be unfair to the others involved. These are people who did not choose this life but by reason of their association with me have been dragged into the limelight.

Tiwa Savage Genevieve Magazine 2015 2Faith

On her spirituality: I am very spiritual. I do not joke with paying tithe or speaking with God. I may not always get to kneel down and pray but at some point in the car or wherever I am, I would have a conversation with God. I owe everything to him and I guess a lot of people don’t see that side. I’m grateful that my Pastor, Pastor Paul Adefarasin sees that side and he is still waiting for me to make a gospel album. That side of me people don’t know about is that I love being at home, watching television and just being away from the limelight.

On when she established a relationship with God: That was on July 16th 2002 when I gave my life to God. I had gone through a tough time trying to find myself. I went through heartbreak, and I remember crying so much through that time. I felt lost and didn’t know where I needed to be in this world. I know this sounds cliché, but I was praying one day and I literally felt the presence of God in the room with me. And, you know when you first give your life to Christ, you are a radical. So, then, I would preach to strangers on the train and say “Jesus sent me to you”. Sometimes I would give my entire one month paycheck to the church; they asked for only 10%, but I would give the entire 100%. People scoffed and said “She is new in the faith, just give her another year”. And for three years, I was not intimate with a man. I didn’t kiss or have sex. Every time I hug a man it would be from the side. A lot of people can relate to that because it has happened to a lot of us but the key is to be consistent.

On not being promiscuous: Even if I was not a Christian, I was never that type of girl. I was a tomboy. My mum used to think I would be gay. I am the only girl amongst 4 siblings so I used to wear trousers to feel like I was part of the boys. I never waxed my eyebrows and I hated high heels, which I still hate till today. I was never into boys which is probably why my husband has full confidence that the big men flashing money in my face won’t faze me.

You can check out Tiwa Savage’s full interview by picking up a copy of the November 2015 issue of Genevieve Magazine.

Photo Credit: Genevieve Magazine

Adesola is a BellaNaija editor and Voltron. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com.She's a lover of gist, novels, music and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media.To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @ThisConnectd

38 Comments

  1. kilipot

    December 2, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Brings back to mind that article on not wanting children.
    Bless your soul. The Lord is your strength.

  2. Erika

    December 2, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Her makeup artist is wicked.

    • Taeo

      December 2, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      What’s wrong with her makeup?

    • xoxo

      December 2, 2015 at 11:59 pm

      No she is saying the makeup is good!

  3. Tina

    December 2, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Really love this girl, nice article

  4. Hmmm

    December 2, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    What an honest article!!! Every woman prays to become pregnant and have a healthy baby but my goodness the journey is really now easy especially as a working woman.

  5. Olofofo

    December 2, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Sounds like postpartum depression to me though…

    • Ebun

      December 2, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      @olofofo

      Nice interview, Tiwa. I love when women a speak candid about the lows of pregnancy, breast feeding and taking care of a child. Not every feeling a woman experience post pregnancy is postpartum depression. Depression itself entails isolation, not wanting to do much, having a feeling of emptiness, sadness etc which is not the case for every post pregnant women.
      Just like not every sadness, disappointment, emotions you feel before pregnancy is depression.

      When I had my twins, I didn’t have the instant connection. Infact, I didn’t want to hold them, and was thinking ok what do I do now? , I wanted my sleep/rest. And, the thought of staying up all night to crying babies was rubbing me the wrong way. I was just happy that they were finally out and healthy. But I was overwhelmed and concerned how these babies will take so much of myself and what I will like to do. I know, it sounds selfish. I went to see my therapist, and she immediately said postpartum depression, I was like no, I’m not depressed. After subsequent sessions, she said nothing is wrong with you, it’s just my anxiety.
      My hubby, wants to have one more baby. Not in my book unless he will carry and take care of the baby which is not possible. They have all the fun in the bedroom, then I will be the one carrying belly everywhere, going through discomfort and hormones which they will never understand. So, pregnancy, taking care of babies is not something I’m fond or excited about. And men need to be more sensitive to it. Also, women should stop judging other women who don’t want to have a child or are not speaking happily about having a baby.

  6. Meeeeeee

    December 2, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    God bless u ma’am. My respect for u jst doubled. Toke come nd learn oooo its nt jumping from one party to anoda wtout respecting or listening to ur husband

    • Ruby

      December 2, 2015 at 2:48 pm

      Jisoz!! I can’t believe somebody just typed this. What has this got to do with Toke? What if she is having challenges conceiving? Did her husband report her to you that he asked her not to attend events? And na una dey go church pass oh and you will say things aren’t going on well for you. how will it when you won’t mind your business, judging people up and down.

    • seyi

      December 2, 2015 at 3:04 pm

      Why must people always compare stories and compare someone to someone else. How daft Is that like really? Are you in tokes head or heart? Do u know her story? If you didn’t read this article would you learn anything about tiwa? Abeg park well and keep quiet if you do not have something nice to say joor.

    • Ngozi

      December 2, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      @ Meeeeee, you are a silly hypocrite. its your type that used to bash Tiwa for exposing her body, now shes a saint becuase she’s married abi? silly

    • Surely

      December 3, 2015 at 3:42 am

      TOKE WAS CHEATED ON.
      HER HUSBAND HAD A BABY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN WHO ISN’T TOKE.
      IF TOKE’S EX-HUSBAND WERE A WOMAN, HE WOULD COME INTO THE HOUSE PREGNANT.

      TOKE DID NOTHING BUT YOU DEMONS FEEL THE NEED TO COME FOR HER. AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE TO ACCUSE AN INNOCENT PERSON LIKE TOKE, YOU WILL FOREVER BE ACCUSED. CONTINUE TO CURSE YOUR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO COME. WE MAY NOT KNOW YOU BEHIND THE KEYBOARD BUT GOD DOES. REMEMBER THAT.

  7. prince

    December 2, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    I just love her sooooooooooooo much. she’s amazing and adorable. When you see such chic you know they are not promiscuous.

  8. bimbo

    December 2, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    I just luv tiwa,2 me she’s just d realest.ve lways luvd her honesty.

  9. peperempe

    December 2, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    I like how women are becoming honest about having babies and pregnancy and child birth.

  10. jola

    December 2, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Her honesty is refreshing.

  11. fleur

    December 2, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Big men flashing money in your face. ..I don’t think you needed to add that part. You had post partum depression. It happens. Speaking of prolonged labor, i was in labour for 3 days, baby was overdue by 2 weeks and was showing no signs of being disturbed by pitocin, i almost died giving birth, yet I loved my first baby at first sight and marveled at his face, fingers, tiny feet, cheeks, gummy cry, etc. But I know friends who went through a more pleasant delivery but had depression and did not feel that immediate bond. Every case is different. Some even last 6 months!

    • mimi

      December 2, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      e pele o. Auntie i have it worse.

    • kilipot

      December 2, 2015 at 4:20 pm

      Your point being?

  12. Anonymous

    December 2, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Wow! Tnx Tiwa for been truthful! I couldn’t connect with my twin babies till almost 2 months after their delivery, I really thought something was wrong with me. The pregnancy was a difficult one. Spent the last 12weeks in the hospital,could barely walk, couldn’t sit, lying down was torture,my sides hurt so much from all the weight i was carrying. My feet were so swollen n painful to the point they often felt like they would burst open. Eventually had a c-section and lost so much blood, recovery was a very long journey, had complications and so ooohing n aaahhing over my babies was almost impossible. It really took a while to bond, that only began when i started to breastfeed, bath them n rock them to sleep. Now i virtually don’t want anyone else helping me with them. I love them to death!

  13. keeks

    December 2, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    i agree jola, her honesty is really refreshing… delivery is shitty!!! m not a married yet but every female inmy life is a mother and i have been through the process with each one and that delivery not to talk of been induced is CRAZY!!!! when you see a mother go NUTS about their child boy is there a reason! congrats tiwa.

  14. Tito

    December 2, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    “Say for instance, we have a disagreement and I go downstairs to the living room, he’d ask me to come back upstairs because he wants to speak to his baby in my belly. ”

    hahah, smart guy! 🙂

  15. New mum

    December 2, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    Of* him

  16. New mum

    December 2, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    I can totally relate to this Mrs. Balogun. I had pre-eclampsia towards the end of my pregnancy as well, excessive swollen feet and high blood pressure were the major signs. I was painfully induced at exactly 39weeks but still wasn’t 10cm dilated after 7hours of labour. I had an emergency c section and my baby and I came out healthy. (It wasn’t an easy one) I didn’t instantly bond with my baby until I was medically fit to breastfeed him. Pregnancy and motherhood have changed my perpectives about life. My boy is the cutest being alive and I dont regret all I went through because of him. P.S he is 5months old today.*shines teeth*

  17. Puzzles

    December 2, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    I love that she respects her husband’s view on exposing their baby to the world and her comment on her husband’s other kids.

  18. OmaOma

    December 2, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    I like the fact that she respects her husband and sees him first!! That’s something I have to learn oh because I’m stubborn and I’m used to making most of my decisions myself. ……

  19. Denzel's Mom

    December 2, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    I can so so relate to crying for the first week and the overwhelming feeling of being responsible for another. At a point I was crying and saying “I can’t do this honey, i cant do this”. Thank God for an understanding husband and my mom who was around. Waking up more than five times at night. I remember when I literally had to run back to my room to quickly catch some sleep after breastfeeding him cause I know the moment I hit that bed,I cud be called to come feed him again.

    oh! Is it the navel healing process or the circumcision,or when he wasn’t latching well on my nipples.hmm…memories flooding back.

    He’s 5 months today and i look back and pride myself on how far iv come..He’s teething now,and I’m worried for fever,stooling,fussiness,lack of appetite and what have you,though so far he’s not exhibited any. One can’t jus’t stop worrying.

    I’m no celebrity,but my husband and I also agreed on not putting our son’s pictures on any social media till last week…so all those saying what’s she feeling should “shush”. Do your thing girl and welcome to the motherhood club! Cheers!

  20. juliat

    December 2, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    I could really feel her pains then.
    I am not married and I don’t have kids yet.
    I really learnt smtin from her honesty
    God bless you tiwa

  21. AMother

    December 2, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    I like her honesty. Pregnancy is nt easy… Child birth not easy. I was induced, 5 days in in labour in hospital.

    I stand with her hubby on sharing baby pic on social media jor.

    People will say ure hiding ur baby. We’ll let them say all they want. It’s my baby na, abi???

  22. jhennique

    December 2, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    so in other words, Tiwa is born again?? or she was bornagain for just three years? i dont ustand

  23. Babym

    December 2, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    Awww I can so relate to this. I had full on baby blues after my baby was born. Baby blues is different from post partum, infact i was surprised to find that almost 80% of mothers expereince the baby blues, im really glad Tiwa is shedding light on it. I thought i was going crazy, i didnt have that instant bond they always talk about, he didnt look like anything i imagined, infact we joke now that he looked like an old japanese man hehehe. I was just weepy and crying all the time, a combination of sheer exhaustion from labour and delivery, being overwhelemd with anxiety and the unknown, all of a sudden being responsible for a human being! I can see why ppl get the baby blues. For anyone going thru it, yup there is light at the end of the tunnel! It does get better, i found that i loved my baby more and more each day as i get to know him and now that his 3 months old, im sligthly obsessed with him lol.

  24. The real D

    December 2, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    You see this right there is what scares me about having kids. By God’s grace my hubby and I are one tight unit, after almost 8years of marriage i can still boldly confess i am married to the man God placed on earth for me and only me, nevertheless, after 8 years we are praying and hoping to start a family soon, but a part of me worries that will i love my kids enough??? Am I capable of more love for another human being like i do my hubby??? Will i get jealous if my hubby starts spending time with the kids (I want him to and i know he will as he is great with kids, kids gravitate to him naturally) but i am also used to having his undivided attention, How will i react when that changes??? questions and more questions. with no answers.

    • Laila

      December 3, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      God bless you Darling! You are a woman of faith and I believe your answered prayer is already on its way to you. As for your doubts about motherhood, just wait till when your baby stares into your eyes for the first time, and you somehow know for sure its thinking “….na me and you oooo !!! “, love will burst your heart and soul. And dont worry about sharing. Love, especially in a family, has a way of going round and round and round till it ties you all together in that special bond. May your union remain always blessed, amen.

  25. zee

    December 3, 2015 at 7:47 am

    At least someone is being honest about pregnancy and delivery……as a midwife I’ve witnessed a lot of post delivery emotions and its no joke!! Congrats on hvin a healthy baby….

  26. FTM

    December 4, 2015 at 9:18 am

    Beautiful article! I love her honesty and the honest dialogue created in the comments as a result. People don’t talk enough about the post partum transition enough especially around here and that makes some people feel isolated and confused about what they are going through. Sometimes just knowing that your feelings are normal, valid and temporary are enough to help you get through them. There’s a reason the first 3 months post partum are commonly referred to as “the 4th trimester”. It can be rough. Also, there is a real difference between baby blues and post partum depression for the people saying she had PPD. Sounds more like baby blues not post partum depression which is common, normal and can last for a few days to a couple/few weeks. It also goes away on its own. PPD on the other hand can be more severe and lasts much longer going on months sometimes. For those confused, you can look both up to get more information. Good luck to all mothers and soon to be mothers!

  27. Twins Mum

    December 7, 2015 at 9:34 am

    I almost thought i wrote this …this is so me . Had my twins and didnt feel like touching them for like two weeks . i even Hissed when they cry , they say its Depression , Everyone around knows now that i dont want a baby again , okay scrap that , i’m lookingfor someone to carry the pregnancy while i take the baby from 4 months . *side eyes*. My husband was surprised and mad at me for havng 5years implant family planning . I’ve always wanted two children and i have adorable twin girls already. Thats okay for me .

  28. Adeola

    December 11, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Her honesty is definetly refreshing plus it’s created a platform to keep the conversation surrounding pregnancy and motherhood going. now others are quiping in sharing the same view or bringing different perspectives. Also a different topic for a change!

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