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William Ifeanyi Moore: The Lagos Girl Delusion



dreamstime_l_899283WARNING: I woke up feeling rather confrontational today. Carry on at your peril ladies 🙂

After reading an article on the 8 types of guys you see in Lagos, which I could have summed in three.

  1. Has parents’ money and treats you like crap
  2. Struggling and wants to split the bills
  3. Broke and feeds off you

I couldn’t help but notice a pattern; it appeared women only define men relative to our financial situation. But even more disturbingly, the article reeked with a sense of entitlement I didn’t believe existed in a post-feminist Lagos.

It has to be said; a lot of younger Lagos girls have absolutely no clue on how to even rate the caliber a man belongs to. And it doesn’t help that the addiction to fantasy is compounding the issue. You see a boy driving around in an SLS Mercedes at 27. What do you think? Like seriously? There is maybe a population of 0.01% self-made boys at that age able to afford such luxury. And even for the ones that can, they would rather reinvest the money. Yet, a girl would somehow brand this boy ‘rich’ as if we need a crystal ball to tell us he is balling on parental income. And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with children spending their parents’ money, but if you are a girl and you find such wealth attractive without investigating how industrious the guy is independently, you really have no right to complain about the guy’s laziness after you have indulged in the wealth.

And when it comes to commitment, what are the chances that a guy so young and so attractive in a city where women have clearly developed an appetite for fine things will be in the mood to settle? Yet, day in day out women sign up to these guys then end up ranting about Yoruba demons…really? And oh, the Dutch master. People let us be realistic. The average salary earner in Lagos is making do with 200-250k a month. From this money I am supposed to pay rent, feed myself, run my car, top up my phone and take you out on a N20,000 date? That’s 10% of a brother’s pay, at two dates a month a guy will be spending 20% of his cash on dates. My friend you better pay for your half if you don’t want a Chicken Republic date. What do you think this is, charity?

The bitter truth of the matter is that this city is as hard for women as it is for men when it comes to finance. Chivalry! I hear you scream? Great, well while we are at it, how about we also make sure all the conditions in Imperial England and pre-fifties America come along too?

So women can stop working, freeing up employment options for men that will afford us bigger pay to take you out to dinner with. And when I come to your house I better smell something fresh in the pot, takeaway will not cut it!

Any man will tell you that for the most part, a woman’s money is only a fail-safe for men. If we could afford it, there will be no need for you to ever bring out a penny. Men really don’t mind spending on women in general. The same cannot be said for women. But at the rate oil prices are falling and the dollar is rising, ladies y’all would need to be making a better effort at contributing and not bank-shamming men for not being Dangote.

In the comment now somebody will say ‘this William IFEANYI Moore stingy, Igbo boy’. Yes oh, to you I say if you want a free ride, date older men that are already established. Don’t come here looking at young boys and expecting us to compete with your sugar daddy.

I have talk my own.

P.S And yes, men have souls too; sometimes we want to be spoiled. Na as dey take born you dey born us too.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

William Ifeanyi Moore is an MPharm graduate from the University of Portsmouth, UK. His true passion is in novels and poetry but he cheats on them with movies, plays, and music. He believes sacrifice and compromise is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. His debut novel Lonely Roads is out on 10/12/2015. Blog: Twitter: @willifmoore Instagram: willifmoore


  1. Marie Scarlett

    January 19, 2016 at 11:59 am

    I actually like this article..

    • nene

      January 19, 2016 at 8:29 pm

      ifeanyi i support u 100%. please come and marry me, i want a fine young igbo man, igbo men are scarce these days.

    • Damilola

      January 19, 2016 at 10:04 pm

      @ Marie scarlett

      A man speaking up against the pressure, and high expectation put on men. Funny article. Both sexes lost track of what is most important in life, the true essence of a well rounded, healthy relationship. Everybody is looking for a, ‘READY MADE’ person, not just readymade, someone who can offer excess, luxurious life and enjoyment. Life is hard, it gets more difficult and complicated each day. If daddy is not rich, then it has to be husband. If daddy is a king, automatically I’m a princess, if daddy isnt, then I can marry a prince to be a princess. Human beings, naturally chase after status, money or fame and some want it all. Social climbing is inevitable, integrity is what separates it. Social media, is a contributing factor of giving a fake reality life something to envy or wish for. The world got more competitive in “who get money pass”, and showing off to the 100th power is the way to go. Women were not as openly superficial as we are now. So many things led to it, not feeling appreciated enough for being simple, supporting an “average” guy only for him to go astray after he gets to the top, cheating(the other flamboyant woman ends up enjoying the fruit of the labor). Another situation, the fear of supporting the average guy financially but he never gets to the top for whatever reason. Some women feel the simple, humble life seems not as rewarding as the flamboyant, expensive life. Women love to compete among each other too. My ring has more diamond than yours. Who’s responsible for adding more diamond or zero diamond, the man. This boosts man’s ego knowing they are responsible for such as well. Imagine, a girl(runs girl or not) telling you how Mr X took her to this fancy restaurant, bought her this or that for an amazing date. Then you are stuck in the library studying, finally a bae hollers, only for him to say, let’s meet up at the park. Everybody wants to be treated special. But, if you are someone like me, park as a date is all good for me. We can actually converse as opposed to faking to impress each other ina dim light environment. To each is own.
      Men believe, having a little money, they can get any girl they want. But they realize, there’s a shortcut. If I marry a rich/prominent man’s daughter, my status will change. Afterall, I will be his son in law and be referred to the husband of rich man’s daughter.
      The solution is, men and women go back to the simple, and most important things in life. All the other things will come.

    • Ngozi

      January 22, 2016 at 7:24 pm

      I don’t do Aristo. I like you because you are hardworking. Just make sure that the only reason you don’t have much money right now is because you are still young and striving forward. If it is because you can’t stay with one woman and have to split your meagre salary often. then segobe , Adios. If a woman knows God and stays truthful to one woman, things will change even if it takes a while.

  2. Renike

    January 19, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Funny…and well written…let the comments roll in

  3. Mystique

    January 19, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    LMAO……… who is this fellow???? hahahahahahaha

  4. Clap back

    January 19, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    One word: Cheapskate. Next!

    • Ewa

      January 19, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      LOL!!!! They have arrived…

    • Me

      January 19, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      Thank you jareh, bloody cheapskate. I doubt if he’s really being in love before. I’m actually surprised with the writer, contrary to popular beliefs when an Igbo man really loves you, yes he DOES spend on his woman, I’m not Igbo oh before all ya’ll say I’m supporting my tribe.

      You don’t spend your all on a woman because you have, you spend your all because you love her. My aunt married her husband when he didn’t have much but because of the love he had for her, he tells me how he spent almost all of his salary to please her and make her happy, yes he still spends on her now that he’s rich after 10 years of marriage. ladies chivalry isn’t dead, you just need to find the one that truly loves you and he doesn’t have to be dangotes son.

    • Dayo

      January 19, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      @ME, your drivel about “you spend money on your girl because you love her” effectively equates money with love – which is a very Gold-Diggerish mentality…NEXT!!!

    • SugaMama

      January 19, 2016 at 8:54 pm

      Clearly money is your own love language. Not so for a lot of other people ma’am.

    • Onyie

      January 19, 2016 at 11:03 pm

      Goodness gracious is this how we women think now? That a man loves you only when he spends money on you?

      Its a scary world we leave in now o.

    • Emm

      January 20, 2016 at 10:51 am

      Of digger. Next.

  5. modupe

    January 19, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    I agree with you….

  6. hello

    January 19, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    Great writer!!! I love more his manner of writing than the content because I refuse to stress mysef about romantic relationships. But great piece!

  7. Joy

    January 19, 2016 at 12:14 pm

    Lol.. The end got me laughing

  8. Aunty Feyi

    January 19, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    God bless you for this article, maybe all these small small girls would read it and develop small sense

  9. Chi

    January 19, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    The average Lagos worker salary is 200-250k ???

    That’s why I can’t take this write up seriously .

    • Beeeee

      January 19, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      Average salary indeed….that needs to be between 60-100k for the majority or less in many cases….some people in my office make 40k a month. The article was going well till I got to that part. People who make 200k and up in Lagos are considered big boys

    • mz_danielz

      January 19, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      Please you are not a big anything on 200k oh. At all, at all.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 19, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      The article was going well for me as well … until I got to – “Any man will tell you that for the most part, a woman’s money is only a fail-safe for men. If we could afford it, there will be no need for you to ever bring out a penny…”.

      ANY man? You mean… the entire sex is completely united on this particular ideal? ALL of them?

      Oh, dearest Ifeanyi. If only you knew how much my very jaded soul greatly envies your youthful naiveté in this regard… may the cruel realities of life always continue to avoid your pathways.

      And PPS: I agree with your last sentence – men should also be lovingly spoiled every so often by their dames.

    • Bleed Blue

      January 19, 2016 at 2:54 pm

      I wondered at that too.

      Meeeeeeeeeyn, this oil and gas industry has really put one in a salary bubble. Sadly that bubble looks very delicate right about now 🙁

    • Cynical

      January 19, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      @bleedblue. I’m still stalking you o,for that get away place……but with this uncertainty in your industry,I wonder if this is a good time…

    • 50K

      January 19, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      More like 50k. looool

    • Tosin

      January 19, 2016 at 3:36 pm

      My people fall when it comes to stats. I learned to overlook. It pains tho’ when even a business paper prints such, you get like who was y’all’s editor?
      PS: divide that by 10 if you mean per-capita take-home earnings. Divide by 5 for the modal average if you only count those employed at a large organization of 100+ employees. Higher if you’re taking the mean, to factor in the few who take home much more.

      I once read “the average Lagosian has about four nannies” , by the grace of God I did not kill myself, but the illogic was very dangerous for my health. I mean, the nannies are Lagosians too, right? And the children. I need a break.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 19, 2016 at 5:01 pm

      You mad, mad wench. 😀

    • Sparks and Tingles

      January 19, 2016 at 9:59 pm

      I single-handedly brought the “loves this…” from 27 up to 100.

    • Tosin

      January 20, 2016 at 11:17 pm

      that’s how i wrote modal… when i meant median. still true, but in case you’re using Bella to study for your GMAT, errr, median. and probably the mode too in this case.

  10. buzor

    January 19, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Girls should learn how to look at a man beyond His financial level and look at intellectual level cos u don’t know tomorrow.. cos the Vic O of today might be the Don jazzy of morrow……

    Also men should look at ladies beyond there beauty and money and look at attitudes towards both good and bad situations cos beauty fades…time will come wen u’ll be feed up with beauty and want understanding and peace in ur house but u wont get that cos u went for beauty and it too has gone ….chose wisely…

  11. hoover

    January 19, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    Only advice i can give single ladies and men is to only take relationship advice from people who have been married for at least 5 years.I read Nkem Ndems article and i was totally shocked and disappointed. All i can say is that having boobs and a vagina doesnt make you a woman;It just makes you female.

  12. Wale

    January 19, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    While ladies lash young guys for not being Dangote, what of them being Folorunsho Alakija! No excuse for any gender!

  13. Spunky

    January 19, 2016 at 12:23 pm

    Bro, ur mama born you well abeg. Don’t even bother explaining to bae you are broke. She will dish to you the usuall eyaaaaaaa!!! Next thing na to remind you on her long list of needs when you receive your small pay…and she has a job with saving too Ooo!!! I feel we are our albatross in this regard; What do we really expect after impressing them with popsi’s Jaquar and not being able to sustain the tempo?

  14. Chic

    January 19, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    LOL… I was expecting this. The truth is, it goes both ways. Setting”unrealistic” goals & expectations. Most guys want that girl from a wealthy background,who has everything going on well for her, but want her to remain humble & loyal. Who are YOU?? U earn 200k per month but live far above ur income just to impress that girl from the wealthy background. Who’s fooling who? I’ve heard guys talk about wanting to be with that girl from the wealthy background bcos of financial security. Everyone trying to play the”sharp” one. U don’t even know what u need. U want such a lady & here’s one who has her own thing going for her, focused on achieving, being her own motivation bcos she has a family to feed back home. She can’t afford to fail, but u think she’s not up to ur standard. Continue in Ur world of fantasy..


    January 19, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    The delusions no be small o, Willie.
    I agree with everything u just wrote.

    No money is sweeter like your own money.
    Linda Ikeji.


      January 19, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      May i add, they will come back here and start yarning about the “types of sons we are raising”

    • Dayo

      January 19, 2016 at 4:39 pm

      ….except Linda Ikeji’s money!

  16. whocares

    January 19, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Wee, willy wonka.. ti e ba e leni.. There is a bit of truth to this I will not lie. A guy is not your father so really and truly you cannot expect him to solve all your problems. Most rational women do not expect that either, but there are certain expectations nonetheless. You expect him to pay for the first date, other subsequent dates until you know each other well enough for you to start volunteering to pick up the tabs. Miss independent or not, I always expect the guys that take me out to do that. I met a guy the other day and we went out..dates in January are expensive after all that festive turning up. He is my age mate and dude was honest January is terrible month for him. He paid and all, but the next date I chose to go to a free festival and although he ended up paying for food, by the end of the night I was up to paying for my own drinks as even I could not afford to pay for both of us (I did offer o until my card declined.. #seegobe. I just maintained my champion and paid for my own drinks. I quickly turned it to a joke. lool.. January disease eh?) He is just beginning his career like I am and gods know my eyes are red money wise so I get it. I am not they type that will be asking for caviar (se mo ti e mo je) when I know the money in my own pocket can only pay for chicken and chips.. Although I dont know how I felt when he kept harping on the money sha. Like I get it, but kini mo ti mu or eat to le to yen? But I don’t consider it a deal breaker (yesoo, my koste be bringing all the boys to the yard. loool) and it is true in my experience at least: if a guy has it, and can afford it, he will pay. If he cannot, in my experience they usually fess up to it and that is when my own wallet comes out and I do not mind at that stage. So if you like the good life and total pampering you will not find it from a guy in that 20s-30s age group who does not have super rich parents etc. An average Joe is most likely to harp on about the monetary costs of things as they are still in the hustle. This only applies if you date wisely sha. You cannot date one of the mandems and be complaining that he does not bring bread to the table. So shine your eyes and date wisely. lots of free date options btw.. I love going to markets, parks, there is always some music event somewhere going on for as little as a fiver, museums, theatre.. so really and truly it should not cost your monthly allowance to go on a GOOD date budget should not equate to ratchet biko.. no nandos date for me thank you very much that is just as bad as taking a pulzon to a chicken and chip shop. At most, let the guy pay for the bulk of it, and I usually end up paying for little things like cab, or drinks.. it works out well.
    It is not a sense of entitlement on the woman’s part, its just what it is.. you pay for the privilege of taking me on a date if you don’t like it, awake forward and don’t block traffic. you pay, especially for the first date. If you think about it, ordinary make up for the woman gan that is already £70 upwards so really and truly we are all paying for the date one way or the other. Foundation £30 apprx, mascara £10, eye linr £10, limpshcitkc £10, contour kit £20, blush £7, what else again o? and this is just nude/ natural make up.. we haven’t highlighted or bronzed or used banana power.. (yes, I subscribe to the school of “don’t waste my foundation” if it’s not worth it, I will not be wasting foundation and going out biko.)

    • The girl who eats Jollof rice & drinks kai kai

      January 19, 2016 at 12:41 pm

      This is the Epistle of St Paul to the Lagosians?
      This one is an essay inside an essay. abegi!
      You are the kind of people that should not be given a mic!

    • whocares

      January 19, 2016 at 12:47 pm

      @Girletc etc- lmaooooooooooooooo. Oka mi lara na ni.. write your own epistle if you want its a free world my darling, or skip mine.. better yet turn your bible to the letter you refer to and then compare length. I dare say mine is a tad shorter..

    • Grace

      January 19, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      LMAO @ “You are the kind of people that should not be given a mic!”

    • Anon Anon

      January 19, 2016 at 11:54 pm

      I tell you. “Who cares” should go ahead and post his own article. Too long. Won’t read…

    • Cynical

      January 19, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      @whocares……LWKMD,u are so funny,I’ve officially started stalking you. Really,we are all paying for the date because you put on your make up??????? But in a way sha that is true o….lol.

    • Dr.N

      January 19, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      I like this girl

    • Blueberry

      January 19, 2016 at 6:37 pm

      Gbam. Ifyiu are not her father, then she definitely is not your wife now. If a girl should not expect you to take care of her needs, then don’t expect her to lie down and spread her legs for you now! Don’t also expect her to give you the cookies (good cooking, ironing your clothes, etc) out of the cookie-jar before you have done the honorable thing: married her.

    • Ezi

      January 19, 2016 at 9:24 pm

      Soo inside that small comment box below you typed all this. TEXTBOOK.

    • red pill male

      January 19, 2016 at 11:16 pm

      Pay for the “privilege” of taking you out on a date?? And who the #%& are you exactly? Beyoncé? Cleopatra? Worst part is bare simps and beta chumps will sacrifice a left nut for this “privilege”. You deserve a man with low self esteem.

    • Armistad

      January 20, 2016 at 12:06 pm

      Lool! Long read but well said sha. Funny girl

  17. MissOma

    January 19, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    spot on!!!!! I CONCUR!!! hahahahahahahah…..

  18. keeys

    January 19, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Hey Ifeanyi, You are right. it should be about partners in progress.
    let me seize this opportunity to ask for the opinion of my people here.

    I have a friend(an Engineer) he has been in a relationship for about 4years with this babe;lets call her faith. Engineer has been Faith sponsor since he met when she was 18, and he 25 but didn’t start dating her until 4years ago. He made all efforts for faith to try get into Uni bet she no pass jamb after four attempts and decided to send her for a pre-degree program. She went to IMSU for a year and still failed(all expense on engineer). He advised her to go for vocational class and she choose tailoring(all expense still on him). Aside from sponsoring her, he also sponsors her family(she is not from a well to do home) Faith stopped the tailoring classes on the claims that they don’t treat her well, they give her attitude. The guy made her return after paying for the training again of which she is still a truant
    Lets just say she doesn’t have a zeal for life and career.
    On the side of engineer, his parent don’t want him to marry someone who is not from his tribe especially someone who doesn’t have zeal for life and solely depends on their son who is also the breadwinner of the family. So that is another major challenge for engineer as Faith isn’t helping matters and his parents are pressuring him to leave but he seriously is in love with her.
    There is this girl in engineer’s office, they seem to have a great bond and chemistry. she is well behaved and hardworking(lets say they like each other and all). i would vote for her any day other than the extremely jealous and lazy Faith who enjoys being spoon fed and waiting to be a dependent housewife when he gets married to her.
    please advise me on how to convince him cuz he is strong willed(i really care about his well-being when he gets married to her cuz they are not psychologically compatible). Thanks

    • ferrari

      January 19, 2016 at 1:36 pm

      Are you the other girl in his office? LOL…on a serious note though, from experience, you cannot talk a person out of loving another. it is something he will have to do on his own.

    • keeys

      January 19, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      No am not. i know you can’t but on the long run it’s going to affect him when they get married. I have only met the other girl once but the way he speaks about her, it seems he cares.

    • Nahum

      January 19, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      Tell Engineer to dump that lazy, good for nothing Faith and find a hardworking woman. A lazy woman is a heavy burden on her husband and children.

    • Iris

      January 19, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      Lmao. A ‘girl in his office’ ehn? Okay O. Meanwhile this Faith is lazy now…kai! God forbid bad thing. So William answer this one LOL. The answer is staring your man in the face. Why hasn’t he left her? Is he addicted to financing her or what? Is someone pulling his ear to make him pay? Did she jazz him?

    • Tosin

      January 19, 2016 at 3:26 pm

      lol, he should marry her then.
      singing “he’s a great provider…”

    • The real D

      January 19, 2016 at 5:58 pm

      @Tosin…. lmso…. but why???? @ your song…. I tell you you BNers say the darndest things

    • mimi

      January 19, 2016 at 3:34 pm

      The heart wants what the heart wants……cannot be explained

    • bayowa

      January 19, 2016 at 3:35 pm

      wetin be your own naa!!! abeg face front.
      if everybody warn am and he no hear. leave am.
      plus make dem nor turn you to prayer point for this MFM era o.

      but seriously, you cannot talk him out of loving the girl he has to do it himself and if he doesnot life will teach him a lesson.

      moreover, this is life. there is no hard and fast rule to it. that lazy woman may be all he needs to be the best that he can be in life.

      just look at couples having great marriages around, you i will see that they ain’t always the most idle march.

    • Noms

      January 19, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      @Keeys, you sound like the office girl…
      BTW what makes you think you can influence his decision about Faith when his parents haven’t achieved that.
      Why are you so concerned about his life after marriage? you are his friend,yes , but the decision is his to make as he will live with the consequences.
      Hope I don’t sound likeFaith?
      ..but Faith needs a sugar daddy or an Alhaji sha

    • mz_danielz

      January 19, 2016 at 4:05 pm

      Bia nwokem, mind ya own business oh.

      It didn’t konsign you

    • Ayo

      January 19, 2016 at 7:07 pm

      U Have to Make him sit down and Smell the coffee! He has to grow up fast and think of his future happiness.

  19. bijouxthisbijouthat

    January 19, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    hahaha, i actually enjoyed the article and he did say some home truth. It might not sound pleasant to your ears but hey it has to be said one way or the other…
    We like all ready made too much!

  20. neka

    January 19, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    whats the average salary of a Lagos worker???

    • Krasavitsa

      January 19, 2016 at 2:43 pm

      Not 200-250k!

  21. Sammie

    January 19, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    Well articulated points. In summary Lagos babes are Vain, shallow, myopic and greedy. Life is beyond your hair, outfits and makeup!

    Leveraging on your looks alone is not a long term sustainable strategy!

  22. Cynical

    January 19, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    This should be interesting….. #grabspopcornandcoldcoke
    But there’sa lot of truth being said in this article o…….

  23. @BlaqKhaleesi

    January 19, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    I enjoyed reading William Moore’s article as well as @Whocare’s article within an article
    I had to keep an open mind to get the best of both worlds
    🙂 😉

  24. Nahum

    January 19, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    Thank you!!! These small girls are killing the image of women. All you hear from their mouths is money, money, money. Sad thing is, a lot of them are so lazy, if you give them work, they won’t do it well but are always looking for the big man to spend on them. I am just tired

  25. Adeoye Oluwakemi

    January 19, 2016 at 1:40 pm


  26. thow_lou

    January 19, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    This is the best article I have read this week. I am a lady and I think I agree with points raised in this article. I mean common ladies does a man have to steal to prove he loves you ? I am not saying date a miserable man but if a man is making efforts to invest in himself just help him grow. These sugar daddies you run after stated somewhere too (when you were not born) and their wives helped them grow and all you want to do is feed off them and expect young guys trying to make it die for you. May God give us sense.

    • Anon

      January 19, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      lol.. help them grow and when they “grow” they dump you for another girl that suits their new status.

    • A la anon

      January 19, 2016 at 6:12 pm

      If you are growing while you are helping them, I doubt you will be dumped

  27. thow_lou

    January 19, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    This is the best article I have read this week. I am a lady and I think I agree with points raised in this article. I mean, common ladies, does a man have to steal to prove he loves you ? I am not saying date a miserable man but if a man is making efforts to invest in himself, just help him grow. These sugar daddies you run after started somewhere too (when you were not born) and their wives helped them grow and all you want to do is feed off them and expect young guys trying to make it die for you. May God give us sense.

  28. Robin Hood

    January 19, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    That is My nigga talking….. ifeanyi. Big Ups to you. Chop knuckle

  29. Mama Saffron

    January 19, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    William, William, William. Darling, how many times did i call you William? You see the one BIG FLAW in your argument is that many Nigerian men want, scratch that NEED. you to need them financially because that is only thing they have to give. A lot of you are emotionally bankrupt, so they fill the void of being men in a relationship with money and material things. You will see the girl that is on the up and up in her career, who doesn’t need you for jack and what do you do to such a girl? Your emotional deficits start showing, and you can’t give her what you don’t have, and what you do have, she doesn’t need because she has her own, so you trample on her heart, sleep with the next girl that made you feel like a man because you bought her a bag or some silly thing. The bag that your girlfriend can buy on her own without asking you. So please shift to the left, to the left please.
    Many Nigerian men say they know what they want but taaaaaa, una no know. Many of you complain about how materialistic Nigerian girls are, but how come they are the ones you keep attracting? How come it is the materialistic girls that are getting married every day and the successful career ones, who you think should be all a man wants are single way past 30. Nothing wrong with single being way past 30, if i can advice anyone, i would say do it after 30 when you have come into your own, but what worked for me may not work for someone else.
    So, back to the matter. Willy, Willy don die come and see am, Uncle Willy, the girls you just described are the girls you guys want, like bread and butter. The girl with her head down and won’t spend 100K of her hard earned money on mami water weave and eyebrows on fleek, you won’t give a second glance, but the ones with eyes flashing like fire, waist trainers on fleek you will be thirsting for. How do you think she paid for it, or had the time to be that way, if it wasn’t someone else’s money?. You don’t want her to split the bill on a date, you will call her proud. She doesn’t ask you for money for her hair, you will say she is forming Miss Independent. You want her to worship the ground you walk on and twist and bend into any shape you like in bed because you provide. You don’t want her challenging you, you don’t want to be waiting at home eating microwaved food because she has to stay late for a board meeting, so you go out and pick one “materialistic girl” that polishes your ego and makes you feel like a man.
    The problem is, your fathers and their fathers before them have ingrained your masculinity with providing for a woman, and today’s successful woman now has what you can provide, but the materialistic one locks into that your need to beat your chest like king kong does and that’s who you guys date. Later, you will now come back when money don almost finish or you can’t keep up again and be lamenting. Both the money spending man and the money demanding woman have created this monstrous phenomenon, because if you guys had put your foot down from the beginning and stopped flashing money around, the need for girls to chase after men with money will reduce. so Uncle, you guys created the monster that is the materialistic Nigerian woman. Runs girls are so called winning because of you. They are not spending another woman’s money are they? So, either make more money or shift and let the Alhaji’s handle business and stop complaining. Meanwhile, there is the 29yr old super brainy and beautiful colleague of yours that probably has a crush on you, but your eyes are somewhere else.

    • whocares

      January 19, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      @ Mama S – AHHHH Ma Saffy, pls take the award for winning bella naija today and also for writing an even longer article than mine so that oju aiye can kuro lara mi. This topic needs article please. I absolutely agree with what you have written. This is the Spartan approach to dating people, take note!!!!

    • Someone

      January 19, 2016 at 4:21 pm

      This whocares sef… chick just gets me laughing all the time

    • Ezi

      January 19, 2016 at 9:40 pm

      Dont console yourself yet, it wasnt longer than yours o! Lol!

    • Anon

      January 19, 2016 at 2:26 pm

      I love, love this comment!

    • Amanda

      January 19, 2016 at 2:49 pm

      Mama Saffron aka Jane Public: You just wrote exactly what I wanted to. Nigerian men created this monster themselves. Their only use of existence is to be throwing money. I have said it before and I will say it again Nigerian men are intimated by a successful go getter woman. Their ego is so far up their asses they wouldn’t go after such women. You will hear silly talks like : oh she is too independent, she should be driving a car smaller than that, if you invest in that land you will chase all the men away, why are you investing in shares and real estate no man will marry you, You guys are afraid to go for the women that have their stuff together. You would rather have the gold digging leeching ones. Those are the kinds you guys attract. The ones that request for Brazilian hair, cars, Dubai trips, Dolce Gabanna bag and the rest. The ones that make you feel ‘NEEDED’. William Ifeanyi – go talk to your fellow Nigerian men. They created this beast. They are the ones patronizing runs girls.

    • Ayo

      January 19, 2016 at 7:43 pm

      Amanda u are right

    • Cynical

      January 19, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      @ mama saffron,it’s been a while. Honestly,u ain’t never lied. I totally agree with most of your points. The one I keep on churning in my head and wondering about is y is it the materialistic ones who it is clear that they are only after money that most men want? After a woman has suffered with a man,split bill etc he will go and start an affair with the one that will be all about the money and he would actually appear to enjoy spending loads of cash on her.if she asks for 100k,he will give her 200k……ayam tayad o.

    • The highest bidder

      January 19, 2016 at 4:33 pm

      know right? The ones you manage, help him grow, split the bill and co, the ones asking you to pull your weight in the relationship, they don’t want a dependent woman but what do they turn around and do when the money comes, they go for the one who will ask for 200K, they will give 400K happily because they don’t want another man flexing money in her face. Lagos girls and Lagos big boys are like petrol and an engine. They both need and feed off each other. Me I can’t manage with a man again o. Been there and done that with several t shirts. Now, I need something, I ask for it. I am learning to play the game myself while still working upwards in my career because I can’t with good conscience do runs but all that splitting bill. Hiaaaaaan. This girl’s eye don clear. They don’t want my kind, they only use us to fill the space. Nigerian men like to feel needed and that serves me well biko. All that a man won’t respect you minini minini is just story for the gods. They respect you for bringing out money when they don’t have to pay it all by themselves. The man that has it all won’t ask for yours. So who are those feminists and broke ass men like William fooling. Before you turn yourself into one man’s mugu or stepping stone till he hammers. Think like a Nigerian man ladies and you will have him eating out of the palm of your hands.

    • Nahum

      January 19, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Well damn…. Mama Saffron don talk am!

    • Iris

      January 19, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      @Mama Saffron blessed are you among women, men, and all the creations of the world. William your article may come from a good place, but best believe that you are in the minority group. If many Nigerian members of your sex could have a perfect world it would be one filled with runs girls who only asked for money to bolster men’s confidence and sense of masculinity. Well bruh…no. Y’all can’t have it both ways.

    • MrSID

      January 19, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Mama Saffron went innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…………………………Tiri Gbosa for you, Gbosa!Gbosa!!Gbosa!!!

    • Krasavitsa

      January 19, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      This is the most brilliant comment ever! The article is funny and Ifeanyi made some truthful points (apart from the average salary part. RME!!!) But, this response by Mama Saffron – EPIC! PS; I’m that lady that can’t/won’t spend 100k of her hard earned money to buy hair.

    • Ezi

      January 19, 2016 at 9:43 pm

      True…100k on hair! Never

    • The highest bidder

      January 19, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      Nothing left to add. I always laugh when I read articles like this. The men spending the mo ey are they ghosts. Abeeeegi. You guys enjoy spending the money. You enjoy being called Lagos big boy and when you become mugu to one woman and she moves on to an even bigger mugu you start whining like a b****ch about Lagos girls like she jazzed your wallet. That is how this cousin of mine was dating this sweet girl in Zenith. He got oil company job and she was no longer exciting him. The relationship was getting boring. He went after Lagos girls like someone coming out from the desert that saw water. His eyes don see fire. With falling oil prices and his job being at risk, he is now complaining how expensive it is to be a guy in Lagos. I wanted to slap him upside down the head. You guys deserve every gold digging leech that comes your way. It is nature and karma paying you back for all the hearts of the good girls you have broken. They will chop your money and chop you dry and I will encourage them. So like mama saffron said, you either pay up and shut up or find your level because runs girls have grade now. It is the broke ones like Oga William that complain. The Alhaji’s have turned your money to chicken change. Ask the matharoo sisters. I can recommend Lasu and freshers Unilag girls for you.

    • mz_danielz

      January 19, 2016 at 4:13 pm

      Mama Saffron oh, God bless you.

      I have learnt to use this to my advantage however.

      Save and invest my money while I spend that if Chikers. I’m a naturally independent woman but I have learnt to spend men’s money and keep my goals to myself.

      The one’s who are not intimidated by your ambition will use it as an excuse to be stingy so I just keep my ambitions to myself and chop your money

    • Mama Saffron

      January 19, 2016 at 4:44 pm

      Thank you o ladies. William just needed to be called out this one time because i have gotten tired of this narrative. They created the problem and they are now complaining that the situation has gotten out of control because bigger power players have stepped in. A friend once told me that Nigerian women are a direct reflection of their environment, whether good or bad. This is the bad. You guys should deal with it abeg and let us hear word. As for the average 200 – 250K salary in Lagos. Now i can’t take you seriously ever again Uncle Willy. Which pot have you been smoking on that “h-island”. Even on the so called island, that isn’t the average salary.

    • Dayo

      January 19, 2016 at 4:49 pm

      @Mama Saffron, sorry but if the only Nigerian men you appear to know are emotionally stunted, then feel free to consult your mirror…

    • Jane Public

      January 19, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      run along darling, did i bruise your ego there, or is the truth a little hard to swallow. You did the generalisation, and not me. If i used the word ALL or ONLY then you are free to come for me. Thankfully you didn’t contradict my analysis because Dear Dayo, you know your brothers well enough to know it’s the truth. In the mean time, talk to your friends and brothers for the rest of us okay. Especially on behalf of the lovely single girls who have more to offer upstairs and are now wondering if something is wrong with them

    • Jeanne

      January 19, 2016 at 5:18 pm

      I can’t agree more with what you just wrote. Nigerian men always cry about wanting a woman who can hold it down, someone that can start from scratch with them but what do they do when they get that?

      Check this out, boy meets girl. Girl has a career, boy is still searching. They go to the courthouse although boy cannot afford a ring. Girl (who is at her prime by the way) is fine with it – No attitude whatsoever. Boy goes days with an attitude to girl because his friend made a joke about them having no rings and him not being able to afford a ring. Mind you this is a Nigerian where everyone is asking the girl what kind of marriage did you do without a ring and she doesn’t think anything of it because to her, you don’t need a rind to validate a marriage as long as you both love each other.

      This is exactly what pisses me off when I hear the next dude saying girls won’t stay when the money is down- girls are all about the money. That is a big fat lie. When they do find the one that does not give a ratass about their bank account, they shit on her with their nasty attitudes. How are you the one giving me shit for not giving me a ring? Who should be giving who attitude?

      Imagine a man telling you he wants you to make yourself weak because it makes him feel like a man? This same man will come and complain when you ask him to pick the tabs. Nigga, decide- what do you want?

    • Natu

      January 19, 2016 at 5:34 pm

      @mama love you your comment. This is the reason why I am down with the swirl. I don’t need a man to provide for me financially and most African are not in tuned with their emotions. Thank goodness for inter-racial relationships.

    • Rekiya

      January 19, 2016 at 9:51 pm

      “Thank goodness for interracial relationship.” I have come to realize that people who say stuff like this have not lived abroad or do not interact with born Westerners. Lol, is it not the same “westerners” I see everyday on the account of emotional abuse and psychological trauma due to being jilted by men, for a plethora of reasons, from being successful or not successful enough, to be being baby mamas or divorces and same with the men.

      Sometimes Africans’ perception of the west fascinates me. Who do you guys think they are? oh men! I pity Africans. You guys actually think Western men are different from Nigerian men or Western women are different from Nigerian women? That is hilarious beyound the word itself. You actually said that African men are not in tune with their emotions. I put it to you right here that African men are the most in tune as compared to Western men.Take it from someone that was raised simultaneously with the two cultures. They are not so extreme, in fact they are not extreme at all! Western women are as materialistic as the word itself and Western men are dominant and leeches as much as Nigerian men. The only major difference is the LAW! The law does favor woman and does not let the man out easy. I have seen more battered “white women”(DV) than Nigerian women.

      You know you should think about the fact that if Westerners are so wonderful, why are their marriages 50% likely to end in divorce and the subsequent marriages even have lesser chances of survival. I suspect it would have been the same in Nigeria if not for the “divorce is a sin” mentality. I can tell you that 75% of Western men are still the bread winners and the women get irritated when they have to be in full charge just like any other woman anywhere. Their women also leech, like some women everywhere. Lol, you are looking at Adanna and David and thinking that’s how “White men” behave. Sister, you are in for a shock. A good man is a good man anywhere and so is an awful man, same with the women.When people especially Nigerians talk like this, I know that the media has been their only exposure outlet to the world of the wild, wild, west.

    • Natu

      January 20, 2016 at 1:47 am

      @rekiya I was born and bread in France. I have never lived in Africa. I study in the UK and interact with Africans (Nigerian men) and they are mostly chauvinists. I know what I am talking about love.

    • Ready

      January 20, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      Okay, 23 year old Natu.

      Want some butter for your ‘bread’ in France? For someone who’s never been to Africa, you sure do have a lot of first hand ‘experience’ to share as facts.

    • Rabblerouser

      January 20, 2016 at 11:26 pm

      Hey, bread woman. So you’ve never lived in Africa but you feel qualified to say african men are not in touch with their emotions. Tu n’es pas sérieux!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      January 19, 2016 at 5:37 pm

      Nne Saffron…. so on your last sentence … I’m that girl who had a crush on some boy (in this my old age oh! Chineke God, biko help your daughter) around my current area (lemme leave it there before CIA specialists from the ‘Deen decode which eligible bachelor I’m speaking of… hehehehe).

      He was just the right amount of years older than me, we seemed to hold the same values, he’s single and clearly ready to settle down. And then I heard the “criteria” he has for women which caused my crush to evaporate with the North Easterly wind – he prefers someone who’ll depend on him as opposed to a girl who’s already financially independent. So, I faced my front and kept it moving.

      And perhaps, I would have said an emphatic “Yelz” if he wanted me to chop his money so that he can feel like a Boss-Man… but “perraps” I wasn’t given the chance to even consider such a tempting offer… 😀

      You haff helped with the rebuttal, Nne. Ndewo.

      (and side note to brothers – I remain flummoxed that in this very abroad, una dey find woman wey wan collect monthly pocket-money from you as opposed to one who brings in a financial contribution… Abi una no dey this same abroad with me where the sharing of bills bringeth much relief to your wallets? You brothas dey carry this manly sumtin go far oh… No wound ohh!)

    • Yearning 4 MSA

      January 23, 2016 at 2:39 am

      @MSA, please, I don dey admire you since. On a serious note, I ve been looking for a chance to contact you. I love the fact that you are cerebral, mature and God fearing. A modern self-confident woman that can be a good companion, able to hold her own on issues of life. BN has refused to create a “Boy-Meet-Girl” platform. Give a brother a link to reach you.

    • Hey MSA

      January 23, 2016 at 3:38 am

      @MSA, please, I don dey admire you since. On a serious note, I’ve been looking for a chance to contact you. I love the fact that you are cerebral, mature and God fearing. A modern day self-confident woman that can be a good companion, able to hold her own on issues of life. BN has refused to create a “Boy-Meet-Girl” platform. Pls give a brother a link to reach you.

    • anonymous

      January 19, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      This almost moved me to tears…haven been a victim of my own success and independence I lost my last relationship and it did hurt me real bad but it’s all good, can’t settle for less either neither will it stop me from striving to attain greater heights.

    • Ayo

      January 19, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      You Are Absolutely SPOT on! Most guys don’t know what they want!! But what’s up with the Mamiwater weave on laugh wan kill me…I like ur thoughts let’s keep in touch if u don’t mind.. 08146981590 my no Urs?

    • The highest bidder

      January 19, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      Be toasting another man’s wife there upandan. You know see Mama Saffron nee Jane Public there. If you are a girl. My apologies. You’ve just opened yourself for all sorts of weirdos to call you today.

    • Bleed Blue

      January 20, 2016 at 9:06 am

      @Highest Bidder, naughty me…I rang the number and it’s a guy (Ayo I’m sorry for the crank calling behavior but curiosity shows up in excessive levels in my DNA).

      And Ayo, if you gave your number because you’re looking for a sisterly sister (who will dish out her candid opinion and advice without fear or favor), then Jane Public aka Mama Saffron is the one for you.
      Anything else….hian!

    • Ezi

      January 19, 2016 at 9:38 pm

      You have said it …. men created thr monster . But they cant handle it anymore so they lament and call it ‘speaking their minds’

    • Sky

      January 20, 2016 at 11:05 am

      Heyyyyyy!!!!! 1000 gboza for you @Mama Saffron! you hit the nail on its damn head and buried it!. End of., End of.
      Oga William made some valid points, true, i personally believe that if you love someone and are honorable and sincere, you will ‘spoil’ them to your best ability, male or female. There will be no calculations or ‘over-sharpness’ involved.
      but Mama Saffron finished the work, it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t. There is no winning.
      Just pray for someone sincere, caring and honorable, then do your best when you find them.

  30. @BlaqKhaleesi

    January 19, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    @Keeys ain’t you the girl in the Engineer’s office… I mean, it SOUNDS obvious.
    PS: Im rooting for you @Keeys … AKA “girl in the engineer’s office” 🙂

  31. Bella

    January 19, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    My own is dis o. When you are dating a guy say below 30 sha, you need to be realistic about his finances. Fact is both of your are starting out so requesting for exorbitant things you yourself cannot afford is both ill-advised and lame. At this age its about both your potential futures and how to plan for that, then at 30, I expect to see the man in you come out o. Providing for me and and us.. Then i think the requirements of his duties should also go up as the age rises. Because if you are 23 and dating a guy who is 28, and you want Moet and Chanel bags, haba, your only option is sugar daddy sha! Im sorry o. but that is a fact to begin with. There is a time and aplace for everythign and I personally was taught that the riches of hte parents are not your own, make yours jare! So all these persons (both male and female) dating because of their so called partners’ wealthy backgrounds sorry o. That is one recipe for disaster, fact is the rich marry into their own most of the time, so what is left for us ordinary 200-250K earners? Lets be real.. Do you think Dangote’s kinds will marry outside their dads’ circle of business partners or friends?

  32. keeys

    January 19, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    No dear, am married. He is like a brother to me and am really concerned

    • Tru

      January 19, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      nwanne he is setting himself up for a fall. maybe he ate her special vegetable #EvilGrin. However, i don’t think you should say anything unless he specifically comes to you for advice; he will most likely dig in his heels and stay with Faithl Another ish is that he has invested so much in so he is probably still hoping for returns (emotional and otherwise).

  33. nm

    January 19, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    some of you guys that keep writing article in the comment section below,,,, are you okay? can’t you summarise and keep it simple. msheww!!
    what this generation of young people need is to read books. we are constantly bombarded by superficial things thats why both men and women will do anything to get to where they want to be whereas if we invest our time in reading books most of us won’t be acting very stupid!! haha…

    • whocares

      January 19, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      @NM- as an article writer myself let me say this: how about you learn the finer points of skim reading so that reading sentences longer than ten lines does not scare you? The last I checked there is no “word limit” on BN, so if we chose to write pages we will. It is your prerogative to skip it as it is mine to write it. You say you read? well then put those skills to practise. If you find it difficult that is perfectly understandable. Ask for help, when in doubt, -google. start with “how to skim read” and then work your way upwards..

    • nm

      January 19, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      common will you sharap there….. in fact slap yourself. did i tell you that i didn’t read the comments including the unnecessary long ones, lol!! ode!

    • californiabawlar

      January 19, 2016 at 7:56 pm

      @NM- why are you commenting with the intelligence of a toddler? or which adult just randomly says ‘ode’like that without any provocation? just like that? you just opened your mouth gbaga…and the words just fell out gbaga. Sweetie, you’re allover the place or you just don’t know how to behave yourself in public like so?? I’m embarrassed for you.

  34. Nwa nna

    January 19, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    My people, it’s very simple… Don’t ask of someone else that which you cannot give in return.. If as a bae you want me to spoil and pamper you which I’ve no problem doing then I expect the same back too. Me too I get feelings nah, if you cannot afford to reciprocate on the same level as your partner then you should put forth your best effort with what you can and I promise you that will go a long way rather than being only a taker..

  35. 50K

    January 19, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    More like 50k. looooool

  36. Great Lady

    January 19, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    @Keeys if he’s really in love with her, it’s almost impossible for you to convince him to leave her alone. It’s obvious Madam Faith will never change, either due to the fact that Engineer has shown he’s able to take care of her needs for life. Let him stop all his financial responsibilities to her & threaten to leave her if she doesn’t change,that way she’ll be forced to sit up. She’s obviously taking advantage of him.

  37. Sammie

    January 19, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    So are you justifying Lagos babes; to keep whoring themselves to the highest bidder?

  38. Missappleberry

    January 19, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Me too! Na as them take born you, dem take born us! Hilarious much. Lol

  39. Tosin

    January 19, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    I’m half with Will on this one.
    There’s this nasty sense that men are ATM machines. Where I disagree with him is that this is right, that it’s ok for men to pay and for women to ‘cook’ in return. Is this some type of job-search situation? What happened to girl-child education? Why some person, your mate, who you sleep with, got to be paying for your own upkeep? Bloody Igbos 🙂
    And there’s short-termism everywhere. The salary range you quoted, let’s just say as a Nigerian lecturer I know people live well on far less than that, with families to care for; and if you can’t live on 200k then you’re just a bankrupt Bill or Banke, which many people actually are. You’ll be broke in a mansion too.
    So whatever, the rat race I guess continues. Lots of fun and drama for everyone.

    • Tosin

      January 19, 2016 at 3:19 pm

      awkward sentence in there, but you get the idea.

  40. xag

    January 19, 2016 at 3:29 pm

    All a result of the “Lagos Famous” fake life. Ikoyi lifestyle, Ikorodu budget. This is why the sugar daddy game is strong in Lagos, because at the end of the day, those are the only real financiers for the Lagos babe fake life, the married men that have made it. Very few young men with money can survive single in that city, there’s far too much woman in Lagos chasing after a very tiny fraction of men that can provide them with the “Lagos Famous” life. Wheatbaker lunches, canapes at the George, tales by moonlight on the Maison Fahrenheit rooftop, club access to LMBC/Maliki etc etc.

    Lagos is literally crawling with foreign imports and “I Just Got Backs” all looking for man of a certain category. Old women sef join dey find younger men with assets, surname or title. A few million and na so you go dey chop dem like biscuit. Both the ones with BSc,MBA, PhD and the ones forming strong and independent. Tueh. Y’all need Jesus.

    Lagos is like open season on women in Nigeria. Both old and young married men, chasing skirt all over town and skirt knowing they are married and choosing to partake in the candy sharing anyway. The things our fathers and grandfathers did in the dark are now accepted in broad daylight because of a lack of values and money, money, money.

    • Tosin

      January 19, 2016 at 5:40 pm

      you’re a writer. bestselling fa.

  41. lile

    January 19, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    hello Mr Moore,
    no one wants a failure as a partner, we get it, everyone has to play their part
    but when guys meet the honest regular girls its never enough for them
    I will use myself as an example, I will say am young cos am in my mid twenties, doing very well for myself as a single lady, job, nice place to stay (well its comfortable) , car and great personality, honest living and proud of it.
    a guy still looked at me and said I am not good enough, he went on about liking me and when he tried to Hit it and I declined, he vanished, he knew I wanted a relationship and am not having anything to do with him for jokes or fun and he kept giving me relationship serious “i like you” talk which was fake. I never asked for anything cos I felt if he wants to give he will give but dude vanished wen there was no knacks involved cos it was a 3 weeks getting to know you,
    in other words, whats the guarantee that if am am everything you want me to be, you wont go for someone else and waste my time. cos really the right partner wont fall from heaven

    • Jeanne

      January 19, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      I know of an international student guy who quit school because his baby mama from Nigeria (he denied the child back home) won the lottery asked him to move in with her. Their plan was for him to bring his school fees money and she’d file his papers. The immigration people denied him at his green card visa interview and the relationship didn’t work out. She ended up moving out of state and leaving him stranded.

      This guy with $0 met another girl in a different state and moved in with her. Actually, they both seemed quite interested in each other. You know what, he broke up with her because ‘she is not educated’.

    • Chi

      January 19, 2016 at 6:48 pm

      That guy wasn’t meant for you. The right man will locate you this year in Jesus name

    • ElessarisElendil

      January 20, 2016 at 3:08 am

      lile turning yourself into somebody you’re not will end in disaster, so keep being you and if at a certain age no partner comes get yourself a child. Don’t let your life revolve around other people.

  42. nwanyi na aga aga

    January 19, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    Mama Saffron, Your comment ends the argument. Daalu soo, Saffron kwanu? Hope she is great

    • Mama Saffron

      January 19, 2016 at 4:40 pm

      she’s doing great thank you. Crawling and scattering the whole house now, i can’t believe she used to be so tiny just a few months ago Baby number 2 calleth. Insert my husband running in the other direction. hahahaha

  43. Jerry Berry

    January 19, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    All i can say here is, “It’s Well” thanks Williams.

  44. Mena

    January 19, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    I really like this article. It says a lot that I reckon with


    January 19, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    Mama Saffron………………………………. u r on point…u v said all ……….men like ego booster ladies.infact 10000000000 likes for u .

  46. The highest bidder

    January 19, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    I posted my comment to @cynical before I read yours. GBAM!!!! Don’t come and let one man come and make Eba on your Garri all in the name of ambition and independence. That same man will be using the money you are saving him on girlfriends, you will be there doing I can take care of myself. Brain reset is needed.

    • Cynical

      January 19, 2016 at 6:17 pm

      @ highest bidder,honestly, sometimes I wonder if let me pity my husband/boyfriend,let me not stress him,let me help him save is the way to go. That’s how a friend of mine back then in school was being the good girlfriend,not demanding even giving boyfriend money in times of need, oh boy when she found out how much the guy was spending on side chicks ehn,she was just weak. So maybe the saying,spend all your mans money so he has nothing left to spend on other women may just be it o…….I don’t know.

    • Ayo

      January 19, 2016 at 7:38 pm

      Not the way to go my dear ur friend just happened to fall for d wrong guy! Keep being good but not stupid ooooo open ur eyes very well if u want to grow with him! After a year he has .not said anything abt moving to next level run away. Most importantly make him talk to u without secret it help.

    • Ovadje

      January 20, 2016 at 11:46 am

      @highestbidder (aptly named? :-)), your concept of “saving” na real wa!

      You are not “saving” dude’s money just because you have not asked him to spend all of his money on you – unless you are the sort of person that will blow $300 on a pair of shoes and claimed that you have just “saved” $50 becuse the sholes were on sale! Lol!

  47. Martinson Oluwaseun

    January 19, 2016 at 5:35 pm

    love the angle…well done

  48. prince

    January 19, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Na wa o. my dear brother, Abuja babes are the worst. I just think Lagos babes are better than the demons walking around this nation’s capital. all the want is to suck you dry and dump you.
    You hardly find any Abuja chick with one bf. crazy as it sound, its the truth

  49. Luvnaija

    January 19, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Mama Saffron said it all! I have friends in corporate jobs, high earning, top flyers, good girls to the best of my knowledge but the men are intimated by their successes! In fact one is nearing 40years and still a virgin.
    Most naihati men don’t know what they want!

    • Chi

      January 19, 2016 at 6:45 pm

      This is sad. We need an effective means to hook people like this up with other single professionals.

    • Rekiya

      January 19, 2016 at 9:23 pm

      I think shes nearing 40 as a virgin because she wants to. I don’t know what you guys are on about though. From my little time on earth, I have come to know that there are variety of men! There are men that want professional, working class women, while there are men that prefer to be subservient even in Nigeria. For Christ sake Okonjo, Fumilola Alakija and Adeosun all have husbands and have been married for many, many years. Last I check, Amal clooney is married. Hell, some men want domineering women.

      While successful women intimidate some, they turn others on and vice versa for unsuccessful. I have seen cases of men leave their subservient wives and chase their female bosses or career oriented friends. I have also seen men leave their career driven wives and chase the subservient whinny 22 year old. There is no formula, Nigerian men are this, Nigerian men are that, bla bla bla as if you guys have dated or married all. Same with Nigerian men being on and on about Nigerian women, like their sisters are citizens of Mars.

      If you keep on getting the same type of men you don’t like, its either that’s what you attract or that’s how the environment you are in breeds them. You guys should quit all these stupid generalizations jare. By the way, I have never really understood the need to depend on anyone for finances or whatever, whether man, woman, mum, dad, etc after a certain stage in one’s life. Except you’re going through unusually hard times which should be temporary, you shouldn’t be dependent on anyone neither should you take on any one as a dependent except a child legally, still living with their parents or care givers. The 40 year old is 40 and a virgin because that’s her decision. There are thousands of career, driven, corporate women that are married and blessed with homes. They are not lucky, they just let things fall in place. Not that there’s anything wrong in being 40 and a virgin but if shes not happy with her status, then that where the problem is.

    • ElessarisElendil

      January 20, 2016 at 3:12 am


  50. Jagbajantis

    January 19, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Ifeanyi “chop knuckle” for this magnificently worded piece. I am going to play Esu’s advocate, a little bit here, as I like to understand that whys and hows as well as the whats. This is just my 2 kobo, and is no way intended to bash any genders or class of peoples.

    – I find that quite many decent looking girls seem to lack confidence or self-security which comes with contentment. It is a wild west world out there, no lie. Chicks have so many things/frivolities that need financial attention. A chick may want a decent handbag, do her hair, make-up, buy good underwear that wont cause punani rash, buy monthly sanitary pad, feed, pay rent plus get wheels or pay for transportation. For the ordinary hardworking chick this is a LOT to contend with, even on the not so-average 250k a month salary. A guy can get by on waay less. Fellas are more low maintenance than chicks (well except for metrosexuals). However a 250k salary is still more than many families in this same Nigeria earn in years, not to talk of months.

    Now some girls dont have that self contentment to manage what they have and leave within their means. They see relationships with men (even with those they are not sexing) as a tool/ladder to financial freedom

    – Us men are guilty of creating wayward money hungry women to a degree. We are guilty when Senators/politicians with no moral fibre are ready to pay a 21 year old University chick 10million a pop, for a 5 minute quickie. We men are guilty when we do not raise our daughters right because we are philandering distant fathers, but leave them to single mums or baby mamas to raise in penury, while we sow our wild oats. We are guilty when we break so many girls hearts, some of whom had genuine affection for us, leaving them unable to believe in love

    • ElessarisElendil

      January 20, 2016 at 3:25 am

      Jagabajantis ??????? for this magnificently worded comment. I too will play Esu’s advocate, a little bit here, as I like to understand that whys and hows as well as the whats. This is just my 2 kobo, and is no way intended to bash any genders or class of peoples.

      – I find that quite many decent guys seem to lack confidence or self-security which comes with contentment. It is a wild west world out there, no lie. Guys have so many things/frivolities that need financial attention. Video-games, Galaxy Edge, Gym Membership, Good Clothes, buy good cologne that won’t cause armpit rash, buy monthly suya, feed, pay rent plus get wheels or pay for transportation. For the ordinary hardworking Man this is a LOT to contend with, even on the not so-average 250k a month salary. Women in the village get by on waayy less.

      Now some guys don’t have that self contentment to manage what they have and leave within their means. They see relationships as a tool/ladder to financial freedom

      – Women are guilty of creating wayward ego hungry men to a degree. They’re are guilty when Senators/politicians with no moral fibre are ready to pay a 21 year old University guy 10million a pop, for a 45 minute definitely not quickie???? or when they constantly ignore the good guys for the bad ones, the smart kids for the buff olodos e.t.c. Women are guilty when they do not raise their sons right because they’re too concerned with society appearances, but leave them to maids to raise sans a Mother’s care. They’re guilty when they break so many boys hearts, some of whom had genuine affection for them, making such boys grow up to become heartbreaking Men.

      Its a game everybody can play, personally judging from BellaNaija articles you guys spend far too much time obsessing and whining about relationships that I sometimes have to wonder how you people fit so much drama into 24 hours.

      Not every time seek relationship, occasionally jam to the Decemberists and chill. Jesu Christi!!!

    • ElessarisElendil

      January 20, 2016 at 3:26 am

      We both spelled “live” as “leave” BTW. **Tosses Grammar Nazi Hat**

  51. Dr.N

    January 19, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    Godliness with Contentment is Great Gain

  52. Ayo

    January 19, 2016 at 7:21 pm

    You said It All! Spot On

  53. Ayo

    January 19, 2016 at 7:28 pm

    Truth is Nothing Wrong in a girl looking for the rich dude who will give her and her future kids good life! Let’s face it No girl wants to get married and stand at the junction waiting for bus or Okada with Big Belle pregnancy!! We All know it’s tough out there so guys let the girl know U are not loaded from the first date! Don’t lie to her! Guys lie a lot to impress babes why? It’s not by force u guys must date Haba! She will stay if she sees ur being truthful and if she walks there are Millions of girls and guys All over surely one is for U.
    Guys Pride and lies won’t get u anywhere ok

  54. serendipity

    January 19, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    Truth is, things are hard right now. i would rather the guy fesses up and tells me he does not have enuf dosh. And I dont know for the rest of y’all, I like to think outside the box. What happened to picnics? I can challenge him to coming to the picnic with a homemade meal while I do likewise. it makes it all fun and if he agrees, bonus points for him. it would be fun to see if he cooks well. i cannot ask for what I cannot provide for, by myself. if I cannot afford a 20k meal, trust me I wont ask for it. but if he insists, no problem. if the 20k meal is important to us, when we are an item, maybe like an anniversary or so, I will gladly go dutch. a date is a date any time;driving round town/eating on the hood of the car and watching the sun set/etc.

    • Decemba

      January 21, 2016 at 1:31 am

      Picnic: a term used to ‘pick a n-word’ during the era of the slave trade. Take note….

  55. shawn

    January 19, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    dis article is ICONIC! Now that the guys express how dey feel, the girls go crazy… lol

  56. Dimano

    January 19, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Truth of the matter is that the gender war is as old as humanity, and there seems to be no end to it.. The backlash from the women had been quite mute and subdued until recent history when their vocalization became more salient and I would say quite confrontational. We even have the sorority thing in place everywhere. Not a problem though, society I understand is evolving.

    I would rather not generalize but each individual persona, well, individually. I also prefer to be neutral in the ‘men vs. women’ thing, because really I have a lovely wife, mum, sisters, friends and colleagues that are all ladies, and of course my lovely princess. And these wonderful people exhibit ideosyncrasies that may not readily or easily fit into Ifeanyi’s characterization of Lagos (or is it Nigerian) ladies.

    Same applies to the men folk. Not every Nigerian man (she mentioned “Nigerian men, which is a generalization in itself) falls into Mama Saffron’s characterization.

    I think a rule of the thumb would be to restrict your analysis to your personal encounters except you have done some kind of research that can be corroborated.

    Another rule of the thumb is to always remember your spouses, parents, siblings and children, and think first if they fit your description of the gender you’re characterizing before making any form of generalization.

    …Now I’m wondering why I had to make such a long comment.

    • ElessarisElendil

      January 20, 2016 at 3:29 am

      I jus wonder ohh. Nearly queshoned if na Naija Man I be.

  57. Dimano

    January 19, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    ***I would rather not generalize but treat each individual persona… well, individually.

    (Note: correction to typo in line 1, paragraph 2)

  58. Onyie

    January 19, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    I just fell in love for the first time in my life!

    William Ifeanyi Moore will you marry me please?!!!!!!!!!!!

    Great article.

  59. O di egwu

    January 20, 2016 at 12:07 am

    A na akoyeli!

  60. aiphee

    January 20, 2016 at 5:43 am

    Bruno!Bruno!!Where are you?

  61. Ol

    January 20, 2016 at 9:16 am

    I love igbo boys but I have noticed when it comes to marriage,they tend to avoid yoruba women..they will sleep with them but won’t marry them..why?

    • Rabblerouser

      January 20, 2016 at 11:48 pm

      Una soup too dey get oil.

  62. Boo Boo Baby

    January 20, 2016 at 9:22 am

    Nne i di too harsh

  63. ody

    January 20, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Nice article……

  64. whocares

    January 20, 2016 at 11:11 am

    @RedPM- Oh look, its barry basic reporting for duty.. crawl back to the sandbox darling. Don’t attempt to grow before your time, you are only embarrassing yourself.

    • red pill male

      January 20, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Hahaha. Barry basic…that’s a new one. Now get back to the kitchen!!

  65. Abi

    January 20, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    And young people that earn N1.2million a month nko? Lagos gargantuan boys? lol

  66. Rani

    January 20, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    Mama Saffron, 1 million from me!!!

    Uncle Willie, where you at???

    “WARNING: I woke up feeling rather confrontational today. Carry on at your peril ladies :)”

    Abi Mama Saffron don cut your liver?

  67. Rani

    January 20, 2016 at 3:48 pm


  68. why disturbing yourself?

    January 22, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    why disturbing yourself?
    let them be looking for the highest bidder upandan” opening their legs for all including those with hiv dey tell person na. after dey tire, dem go look for a carpenter or mechanic to marry and tush him up

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