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Stella Damasus shares 20 Interesting Ways to Handle Haters & Trolls

BellaNaija.com

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Stella Damasus - BellaNaija - April2015001

Nollywood actress Stella Damasus has had her share of negativity and criticism in the past years. In this new post on her blog, she shares her personal tips of dealing with haters and trolls.

Read below.

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People have asked me over the years how I have handled the criticisms, trolls, negative comments, media bashing and crazy insults. I have put together 20 of the most effective methods that have helped me. I hope you find them useful.
1. Acknowledge the fact that haters thrive on Hate. It is a negative attribute/trait which kills internally and fast.

2. If you claim to be a positive person, don’t waste your time dwelling on the negative.

3. You need to understand the fact that these people are HURTING within themselves. They need to escape from that hurt or take it out on someone.

4. Don’t let them drag you into their HATE HOLE. If you hate them back then you have become exactly like them. Your loss.

5. You cannot control what people do or say, but you can control how you react to it.

6. INTERNET TROLLING is a very addictive habit. Instead of making them important, see them as addicts who desperately need rehabilitation. Addiction is a silent killer.

7. Don’t waste your time getting angry at people who don’t even know you. It is not logical to allow strangers feed off your anger. They are not worth your emotions.

8. Most times, people who make the loudest noise need attention. They can never be relevant without it. Don’t be the one to make them popular by responding.

9. Get used to the fact that FREE social media has given even the most ignorant and jobless person a platform to speak his ignorance and lash out.

10. Rage is such a powerful life consuming emotion. It takes a lot of pain and anger to spit out VENOM, especially on people they don’t know. Your HATERS feel that they are hurting you when they say ugly things to you but they don’t realize how deep their pain has eaten into them. Pray for them because they are in pain and their hearts are deeply troubled. Remember that they may not realize this until it’s too late.

11. Your HATERS are mostly people who follow you and monitor all you do, so they can have opportunities to attack you. Guess what? You are more important to them than they are to you. You are being followed, but they are the ones doing the following. Who should have the upper hand?

12. The more they talk, the more you should RISE. Their negative comments should become your driving force to succeed and do more. The more you rise the more difficult it becomes for them to keep up. If they STOP harassing you, the RAGE MIGHT destroy them so they need you to SURVIVE.

13. Nothing can change their minds about you regardless of the amount of work you do to try and impress them. Focus on more important things, not how to change their mind. They don’t know you so what do they want to hate? They think they hate you because of their PAIN but their thoughts often lead them to more pain and destruction. Do you really want to get involved in all of that?

14. If they had more important things to do, they will not have the time to look for you, follow you, read your posts or look at your pictures, watch your videos then plan and construct their HATE comments. Trust me, this takes a lot of time and energy. If YOU had more important things to do, you will not have the time to look for the haters and you certainly will not have time to respond to all of them. Make them feel like you don’t even know they exist, neither do you see or acknowledge their comments. After a while, they get tired of trying to get at you.

15. If you were not relevant or making an impact, you will not have HATERS. What do you really want? Be less than average and not have any haters or be very successful, important and attract HATERS.

16. Your HATERS want what you have, they want the life that you have but can’t have it. Their reaction to this realization is to HATE YOU. By letting their comments torment you, it means you are accepting the fact that their unimportant life is your fault.

17. It is better to be talked about than to be the one who does the talking.

18. People hate what they don’t understand. When they can’t decipher the reason behind your success or happiness they will HATE YOU. Be happy that you have something they want. Always remember to thank God because it’s not the other way round.

19. Try not to respond to comments when you’re angry. Whatever you say at that point will be out of anger and this will make you seem worse than the HATER. They always try to provoke you to respond so that you condescend to their level. Resist the temptation to fire back at them with your own words.

20. Whatever you feed more will grow more. Don’t feed the haters by paying attention to them. Let them starve because you will not feed them with your time and attention. Guess what happens to a starved troll… When you get uncomfortable, simply DELETE COMMENT, BLOCK THE USER OR REPORT THE ACCOUNT.

24 Comments

  1. Californiabawlar

    May 20, 2016 at 7:41 am

    I feel like she trolls me ?

  2. Ariere

    May 20, 2016 at 8:05 am

    Why is this woman so obsessed about supposed Haters and Clap Backs? Its not that deep.

    • Mr. Egghead

      May 20, 2016 at 10:02 am

      . . . Because she knows she is holding on to another woman’s maritally acquired property

  3. Ladi

    May 20, 2016 at 8:06 am

    True talk,some of the reasons of their hate may be tribalism or religious bigotry,some youths today have being brainwashed into sentimental corners,by some fantastically corrupt negative online karachikas,sitting under the banana tree.They grow fat on ruining careers.

    • oh please

      May 20, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      ode 2 kobo

  4. Puzzles

    May 20, 2016 at 8:22 am

    True talk. Continue to live by your rules because no matter the good you do, there will always be someone saying negative things about you

  5. Pep

    May 20, 2016 at 8:24 am

    Stella are these ways working for you? You win some and loose some in life. Quit your obsessions about haters mehn. Some will like you and some won’t, it’s human nature. These days when you tell people the truth, they call you a hater.

  6. Olayemi

    May 20, 2016 at 8:45 am

    SMH.

  7. Titi

    May 20, 2016 at 8:58 am

    Is it just me or does this entire right up not defeat the purpose of ignoring haters LOL. this entire piece is about them!

  8. dizzy

    May 20, 2016 at 9:23 am

    I love this woman, role model of life. Any gorgeous, intelligent, successful woman in Nigeria knows one thing for sure, people will HATE you. most especially other WOMEN, they will be eying you upandan, they will spit their venom at you at any opportunity and be anxiously waiting for your disgrace or downfall.
    I will confess, I used to be one of those women, I will find myself despising any cute girl, I will anonymously be sending them the most hateful messages and comments. Crafted and designed to crush their self esteem, hoping they will stop flaunting their beauty and success. Maybe stop using their makeup and dressing cute, so they could be more on my level and I could feel better about myself. (unfortunately, sometimes it worked and they would not post pictures for a long time and even when they do, they will be looking a bit drab, and that made me so relieved)
    This was years ago and I thank God I have been delivered from the cesspool of hate that I was drowning in. Trust me, the life I was living was punishment enough.

    Stella, continue to stay very prayerful and strong in the Lord. He will continue to uplift you. BLOCK, BLOCK and continue to BLOCK haters. spiritually and physically.

    • kuku

      May 20, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Epistle according to the book of Romans! Ewo!

    • Dizzy is Stella

      May 20, 2016 at 11:01 am

      Stella ‘Dizzy’ Damasus…..Hello, how are you? I was wondering if after all you’ve said you could call Doris….to go over EVERYTHING!
      They say time’s supposed to heal but it seems you’ve not done much healing.
      You’r in GA wondering about how it used to be when you were texting……A MARRIED MAN!

      Hello from the other side

    • dizzy

      May 20, 2016 at 5:06 pm

      I am not Stella….ive been commenting on BN for years using this same computer and handle.

  9. pele Stella

    May 20, 2016 at 9:52 am

    Stella you’re still writng article about haters…pele ti e o smhhhhhh. I used to like you b4 pele but millions article can’t change that now…….returndorishusband chai chai there is God oooo

  10. ItalygetawayLord

    May 20, 2016 at 9:58 am

    @Dizzy, did you ever apologise to those ones you sent the hate mails to? They might not have been delivered from the aftermath of your unjustified hate tirade.
    Go a step further and apologise directly to them. At least the ones you publicly dissed.

  11. xxxx

    May 20, 2016 at 9:59 am

    I hate u

    Lol. Go annd face ur work “uche”

  12. mulikat

    May 20, 2016 at 10:00 am

    wicked home breaker, close ur mouth, any way u look like woman that fly @ night

    • Josephine

      May 20, 2016 at 12:03 pm

      As in. I can’t deal with this Stella.

  13. blueivy

    May 20, 2016 at 12:40 pm

    stella pls u are a child of God, holy ghost filled and tongues speaking. pls do the right thing and remove urself from this disgrace of marriage.

  14. Chu

    May 20, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    While this article looks ‘somehow’ coming from Stella Damascus, it does have its merits, People get trolled for no reason. This can help them handle it. I’m always a fan of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

  15. SB

    May 20, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    trying to hard to make people feel she isn’t affected by the husband snatcher tag,with this write up,one can see you still have sleepless night,if you didn’t snatch someone else’s man,you would still be naija’s sweetheart…..though one or two points of yours written above,makes sense

  16. SB

    May 20, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    Patiently waiting for the day trailer would come in between Daniel and Stella…… Air go soon blow fowl yansh…..Stella I no say na people like me you wrote this article about, you were cheating with Daniel when Daniel was supposed to work on his marriage with Doris that was once the love of his life…..you gave him attention…. You guys lied you were business partners and eloped eventually ….may God judge you…..wicked woman

  17. PD Young Billionaire

    May 20, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    You have a lot of haters because of what you did to your coleague……because of what you did to young David….you denied the boy the opportunity of growing up with mummy and daddy,you denied Daniel and Doris the opportunity of having more beautiful kids like David.These are the reasons people hate you.I think you are self centered.A good Christian woman should have compassion on her fellow Christian sisters…..,we all should be our sisters’ keepers.

  18. Hey

    May 22, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    This woman is always trying hard to make people like her , you and your partner in crime , like you always say should bury your head in shame . Still very hard for you two to ever pronounce yourself as husband and wife because of the fake life you have chosen from the beginning. Keep writing articles upndan to stay relevant.

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