Anu Lagos shares her “Lagos Party Survival Guide“
Okay… So that’s how the only really fun activities in Lagos usually revolve around food, party or both.
All my friends know that I’m not about any of those things, and here’s why:
1. I am watching my waistline and all this #fitfam living must not go in vain.
2. I like my peace and quiet too much.
However, seeing as I’m a single Lagos girl, ready to mingle and at least ready to meet potential Baes, I have had to ditch comfort and reinforce myself with waist trainers, Spanx, body magic,etc. because like it or not, the struggle is real.
But before I package myself for a ‘Girls’ Night Out’ this Friday, I have decided to share these tips with all my friends so we don’t go and embarrass ourselves outside. But ofcourse, I am going to sneak in a few pointers for the fellas out there too. You know we love y’all too, right?
1. Always have your ATM Card and Vex Money handy
… Because POS network can decide to disappear and you don’t want to end up wearing your Christian Louboutin heels in the restaurant’s kitchen washing plates, or worse, your date can be an ass (or the hole in it) and decide to leave you stranded. Either way, you’ll end up being majorly embarrassed.
2. Have a Cab Driver’s number on hand
Lagos roads are not smiling. You can enter a pothole on Ikorodu road, and your night can be ruined just like that. So it’s best you have a cabbie on speed dial that can turn up anytime you need him. And if your friends are in anyway hyperactive like mine are at the bar, the best way to avoid ending up under 3rd mainland bridge is to have a ride home after all that ‘turn up’.
3. Phone and supporting gadgets
Of what use is a Cab guy’s number if your phones are dead.
i.) Always have a ‘small phone’ or ‘palasa’ on hand (that’s the only way to live in Lagos). In some dark areas of town, it’s better to keep your iPhone 6S under your wig and bring out your Nokia torchlight.
ii.) Have a portable modem or Mi-fi because you need data to upload all that ‘fleekage’ on Instagram and Snapchat as it’s happening.
PS: If you don’t have a power bank, please don’t bother leaving home.
4. Breath mint, breath spray or chewing gum
There is nothing more unsexy than stale breath and like I said ‘looking for potential bae’. Nuff Said…
5. Change of Clothes
This should not come as a surprise to those familiar with the Lagos Party scene, because you can go from club to dinner to wedding and back to the club again in one night! Thank God for body-con dresses, they fit in any sturdy clutch. You can change from short to long dress in any bathroom ASAP.
6. Never Walk Alone
A wise man once said, “A fool with a partner is better than a fool alone.”
Okay, I admit… I just made that up.Anyways, you don’t want to sit alone when everyone is in pairs, or groups. Plus it’s safer and more fun to have company.
i.) If you are on the hunt for bae like me, please don’t go with 10 of your friends. No guy will come talk to you except he definitely wants to wife you.
ii.) Never go with a friend that is finer than you, because you know how that goes. #thirdwheel.
7. Remember to Eat!
Always eat before you go for anything even if you are the one organizing the party. Caterers know how to mess people up. And if you are supposed to meet someone up for dinner, don’t starve yourself all day expecting to eat a feast later.
God help you that your date takes you to all those restaurants where a N10,000 plate of rice = 1 tablespoon.
Truth be told, your date probably ate Eba or Starch before coming to meet you.
8. Be Protected
Ideally, you shouldn’t have to worry about this one, cos what guy will take you seriously if you give away the cookie on the first date anyway. But there are always exceptions to every rule, so be careful okay?
Disclaimer: Giving away the cookie on the first date has worked for some people, but I can assure you that it will not work for you.
Or maybe it will. Who knows? Proceed with caution is all I’m saying.
9. DRESSCODE: Everything on fleek!
i.) Get your face beat by one of those makeup artistes that charge N10,000 and above
ii.) You had better be on team natural, cos that’s the only acceptable excuse these days for not having Mongolian and Hungarian hair on.
iii.) If you don’t have Christian Louboutin shoes, go and borrow or STEAL IT!!
iv.) Cleavage, arms and legs on display! That’s a clear idea of the kind of outfit to wear.
10. For Men
Dress in the Lagos Party School uniform – White on white trads (Buba and sokoto) with crested loafers, hold on to your glass of American Honey whiskey and you are Bae in the eyes of Lagos girls like me.
Now, don’t forget to smile, be courteous and send bottles to the ladies’ table before coming to say hi. It works like magic! *wink*
Have fun guys!!!