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“Your Purpose in Life is bigger, We Need you in the World” – Adaeze Yobo’s Message to Those Facing Domestic Abuse

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Adaeze-Yobo

In the aftermath of the death of  Ronke Shondethe married woman who was allegedly killed by her husband in Lagos, Adaeze Yobo reacted to this by putting up a message to those facing abuse in their marriage.

She said:

So sad!!! Marriage is not by force. Heck! Everybody must not marry. The society you’re worried about don’t even care about you. They are the same ones saying RIP on LIB. Pls think about it. Your life matters too. If you are in a similar situation please, please, please walk out, whatever shame you are trying to hide will still be out there. Its not worth it. You haven’t fulfilled Gods plan&purpose in your life, I beg you not to be selfish. Your purpose in this life is bigger than you, bigger than your husband, bigger than marriage. Never apologise to anyone for leaving a (physically) abusive relationship. ”Ephesians 5:25 says men should love their own wives as Christ loved the church” ~ he gave up his life for us. Then Ephesians 5:28 says husbands should love their wives as their own bodies”. The same Bible that is against divorce says in 1 Corinthians 7:15 that if an unbeliever departs, (from marriage) let him depart” then goes further to say that “a believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances, God has called us to live in peace” if your partner physically abuse you, he has departed from the marriage vows, please walk away, he doesn’t fear God and if he doesn’t fear God, he is capable of doing the worse to you. I repeat “Your purpose is bigger”, we need you in the world, don’t let the devil cut your life short. pray pray pray ??? RIP Ronke shonde?

Photo Credit: Instagram/Adaeze Yobo

49 Comments

  1. madman

    May 7, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    Madam Adaeze, but your husband cheats on you and you haven’t left yet. Please practice what your saying.

    Women like to speak from two sides of their mouth.

    • i no send

      May 7, 2016 at 6:37 pm

      @madman ..and you have concrete proof about these allegations or your just quoting from your local beer parlour analyst???

    • Shandi

      May 7, 2016 at 8:39 pm

      I no send and ng, but it’s the truth and it’s no secret. Why are you guys acting like you don’t know? Even Adaeze herself knows and doesn’t send; she could care less. You better calm you asses down.

    • Ng

      May 7, 2016 at 6:40 pm

      Do you have evidence that Yobo cheated her? Y can’t you stand up against violence. If you are a man, would you want your sister or mother murdered? If you are a woman, would you want to be murdered by your husband? Is it not one murder too many in this Naija? Stand up against violence in any form. Shekena

    • k

      May 7, 2016 at 7:09 pm

      @madman take the message and leave Adaeze alone.

    • AMA

      May 7, 2016 at 7:31 pm

      He cheats on her i’m sure is different from beating her. You’re in a relationship where the man beats you, this is going to be the end result. It happened to my Aunt about 25yrs ago. I love him,i love him&she was finally beaten to death. The man nowhere to be found like Ronke’s husband has gone AWOL now. One can easily deal with the regular cheating husband,but a physically abusive one,HABA!! See the end result oo. It’s never easy for the women involved though. Too many considerations. God help us to choose the right person and also be right for that person.

    • Abk

      May 7, 2016 at 7:57 pm

      As in! Even when she gave birth, he was still having a sexual affair. I was like?!! Your wife just gave birth, not even up to a week. That being said, being cheated on and domestic abuse are two different things entirely, so she can comment on this.

    • Chi Chi

      May 7, 2016 at 8:07 pm

      Biko is her husband cheating with you! What evidence do you have? Were you there? May thunder not fire you mouth for talking such nonsense without any proof! Merely gossip msheww

    • Chi Chi

      May 7, 2016 at 8:08 pm

      *your

    • Olanmai

      May 7, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      Chi Chi, thunder will fire your mouth and that or your generation. BN, if you like hide my comment. Why can’t you guys address comments you don’t like/agree with without cursing unnecessarily? I don’t get it! And yes, he cheats and it’s a known fact. I remember when one of his side chicks called Adaeze out a few years ago on social media and Adaeze put the babe in her place, saying she’s not the only one of his side chicks, and she could care less. Like she handled the matter well. You better not kill yourself on top another person’s matter. Ode.

    • Susan

      May 7, 2016 at 9:22 pm

      Chi Chi, what village are you from? You do realize you can’t make your point without cursing like a bush goat? Thunder on top cheating allegations? Even Adaeze herself knows her hubby cheats and doesn’t give 2 cents about it, so what’s your own? Calm your sorry ass down please, it’s not that serious.

    • Exq

      May 7, 2016 at 11:00 pm

      BN, screen comments well. You guys are hopelessly sad!

    • Oma

      May 7, 2016 at 9:53 pm

      I thought this post was about domestic violence, when did that become synonymous with cheating? Please stop distracting from the important message the lady is trying to get across.

    • To madman

      May 9, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      being cheated on AND BEING KILLED are two different worlds! meanwhile, what a great pity – RIP!

  2. Yimu

    May 7, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Sexual and emotional abuse is worse. This comes from cheating (sexual abuse and opening the partner to STD’s, rape…), emotional is verbal abuse and other sorts of manipulations. Which ever one you fall into is as bad as physical abuse. Don’t try to be coy and limit it to physical alone Ada

    • nene+

      May 7, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Hahahahahaahahahahaha Nigerians!!!
      I guess it is easier to tolerate a rich man as Yobo. Adaeze would rather throw her face away at cheat stories as long as Yobo pays the bills which is mostly the truth.

      Love is very selfish, women bread winning their homes have also killed most marriages! A man who can’t fend for his family usually gradually looses his respect if things don’t look up! He becomes petty, drunk, and read undue meaning into every action of his wife! I pray that God help our men!
      This may not be far from Mr and late Mrs Shonde! Co’s really only an insecure man would raise his hands on wife.

    • To madman

      May 9, 2016 at 10:51 pm

      don’t kid yourself – DEATH IS ALWAYS THE WORST OF THE WORST — cause there is no coming back from it*

  3. Mr. Egghead

    May 7, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    I find it odd when married women say “Everybody must not marry”

    • Just my 1 Cents

      May 7, 2016 at 6:28 pm

      Eggy, maybe they are trying to warn singles from marrying hastily. After all, they are in marriage themselves and can see that it’s not all bed and roses.

    • Californiabawlar

      May 7, 2016 at 7:06 pm

      I can argue that it’s equally as odd/ridiculous when single women say it.
      Sounds like they are just trying to ‘console themselves’.
      Maybe it’s just a weird statement since we consider it odd when someone doesn’t marry. That feeling you feel when you hear it is your mindset being challenged.

    • Idomagirl

      May 8, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      ?????

    • 34, single & proud

      May 7, 2016 at 7:34 pm

      lool…

      Okay, Everybody must not marry

    • ATL's finest

      May 7, 2016 at 11:48 pm

      Lmao God bless U Esp when they are married .like I always say, if one man that’s in my life (my Dad) has never laid a finger on me, there’s no man born of a b*tch will I let do that to me. God bless all our Gentle men out there. Physical abuse or any other type of abuse is just unacceptable. Just like when Chris Brown almost killed Riri all for what now? All in d name of love! Love is kind & patient & not abusive or brutal.

    • Missy

      May 8, 2016 at 1:54 am

      Exactly why I never talk about this in public. I secretly advocate in silent. I might talk or advice and people would say, “is it because she’s happy in her home”? I really don’t have the boldness to say “everyone must not marry while am married.

    • To Egghead

      May 9, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      … WHILE THEY REMAIN IN THE MARRIAGE INSPITE OF BEING VERY BADLY CHEATED ON!…

  4. @edDREAMZ

    May 7, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    When you marry that rich dude with bad and violent behaviour but you are so materialistic to see anything bcos the money has blinded ur sense of reasoning…… Rip to her. God bless my mum for training me to respect women and that i cherish so much……
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  5. Laila

    May 7, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    This just hurts on so many levels.

  6. bruno

    May 7, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    why must they always quote the bible. daft girl

    • Chi Chi

      May 7, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      She’s “daft” because she quoted the bible?? Huh

    • Shandi

      May 7, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      You are actually the daft one. A daft fool at that. Why can’t she quote from the Bible? She’s a Christian, where else will she quote from? Your irrational ideologies? I’ve never seen a hypocritical cretin like you. You want to force your stupid views down people throats, but can’t stand what you don’t agree with or believe in. Please shut up. You’re way too unreasonable. Silly hypocrite.

    • Jade

      May 8, 2016 at 12:32 am

      Bruno, you are the daft one. The same bible says whoever says there’s no God, he’s a fool. I’m not religious but I tell people like you, who created you? Tell me your creator maybe u will even make small sense.

  7. Just my 1 Cents

    May 7, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    Whether you like her or not, what she is saying is right. Don’t shoot the messenger.

  8. Californiabawlar

    May 7, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I can argue that it’s equally as odd/ridiculous when single women say it.
    Sounds like they are just trying to ‘console themselves’.
    Maybe it’s just a weird statement since we consider it odd when someone doesn’t marry. That feeling you feel when you hear it is your mindset being challenged.

    • Kadara

      May 7, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      But when a single or separated/ divorced woman says it people also point fingers and say it’s because they are not married. Either way take the message and leave the messages alone. There is no evidence to prove he’s cheating on her but if he is and she’s closing her eyes to it then I hope she knows she’s also guilty of remaining in a dangerous situation . STDs and AIDS also kill many women .

  9. Good advice your mum should take note

    May 7, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    We all need the advice,please don’t forget to tell your mother the same,we saw what she did to the head of her ex ,with blood all over his head.Domestic abuse is bad both ways,on woman or man.

  10. nene

    May 7, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    gbam

  11. meninnist

    May 7, 2016 at 10:02 pm

    I agree, the same goes for men. If a man wants to leave you with 5 children in the marriage ok. Why abuse him? Why tell the whole world ? Women esp african ones steady using religion and culture to chain men down. It’s not by force to stay married. Lol seriously I know some miserable guys who stay in the marriages because of kids. Not me I don’t care whether I’m married or have 3 baby mamas. Likewise if my wife decides I’m not satisfying her needs. I won’t kill or beat her I’ll just link up with another babe Start a new family or remain single.

    It’s nothing wrong with being a single dad or single mom. AND bella women should not come abuse me, all I’m saying is the same way “certain” african cultures expect women to withstand unhappiness they expect men to be in marriages unhappy. HELL NO, I’m all for men leaving marriages, if the wife doesn’t cook leave, if sex life is boring leave, if she becomes unattractive leave same for husband. Feminist will not like me oh well. Lol

    • kadara

      May 7, 2016 at 10:27 pm

      Feminist have no problem with your point of view. Clearly many of you don’t even know what feminism is about. All we ask Is for both sexes to have equal rights. So yes absolutely anyone should be able to leave a marriage they are not happy in either men or women . I also think it’s silly when I see women trying to emotionally blackmail a man into being with them if he left for another woman or another woman snatched him (side eye) The only thing is feel free to leave your wife or husband but make sure you pay your child support. You can’t just carry your bags and expect the person left with taking care of the kids to also be solely financially responsible. I wish Nigerians would take time to learn what feminism is about though. I actually encourage men to leave wives they feel they can’t live with their flaws rather than thinking they can beat them into becoming what they want them to be.

    • meninnist

      May 8, 2016 at 12:44 am

      I know what feminism is in regards to equal rights unfortunately many feminist ideas don’t stop at equal rights. That’s why I said “feminists” many “feminist” mix their fight for equal rights to women’s selfish desires. If feminism is about equal rights as you said shouldn’t they be called humanist? Afterall when a father takes custody of the children he is expected by society to provide for the children. In many cases most liberal women who want to “live their lives” fail to provide financial compensation to their ex husbands and co. Feminist ideology these days are no longer about equal opportunity to alot of modern day women, feminism has definitely become more of a selfish tool. Examples of women who call themselves feminist amber rose, Kim Kardashian, Hilary Clinton, get my drift? As long as there is no clear definition of what feminism is. All feminist will be grouped together from prostitute, housewife, gold digger, female president, stripper, teacher. Many women call themselves feminists only when it comes to their own meaning of it.

    • Chinese

      May 7, 2016 at 10:28 pm

      i’m female and i so agree with you. Better to take a hike than beat someone’s daughter to death.

    • Nkechi

      May 8, 2016 at 12:42 am

      And if you can’t buy her a car and miss paying bills for a month. She will leave. Jacob cooked in the Bible ok. Sometimes fix your own food too. She is not your slave ok. And if sex is boring not because she is boring but because of the immoral films you watch who give you wrong assumptions, then get a life. In fact, please don’t get married if you are not already. Before marriage, the woman is the best. After marriage the man starts coming up with complains as if he is perfect. He expects the woman to endure and see his weaknesses become strength but he cannot stand the woman’s weaknesses and endure with her also. Better wake up. Things have changed. No more a man’s world. Created he them and gave them dominion.

    • Osaro

      May 8, 2016 at 2:57 am

      May food and sex not be your downfall because men have fallen over the years as a result of these 2 and women know how to capture those men. Esau (food), Judah, David and men of old and new generation. I will always respect the son of the owner of a law firm who told me that he chose to cook his own food because he had been warned by elderly men to watch his belly. Some single men can’t even cook their own food, they keep eating from different women as if these girls wont make demands, hence baby mama drama sometimes. In that guy’s case, of course he was special. Had 7 degrees from the US and his dad owned a popular law firm so he knew who he was(girls liked him) and did not want to fall. Am I saying that your wife should not cook for you. Certainly not, but don’t let your brain dwell continously on food and sex. I want to see more unique men with self control and sense of destiny. Your wife also had needs, stop being selfish. A lot of men don’t know that the Bible tells them to dwell properly with their wives so that their prayers will not be hindered.

    • Tomi

      May 8, 2016 at 9:40 pm

      Tell them Osaro. 1 Peter 3:7

  12. Lucinda

    May 7, 2016 at 10:23 pm

    Most women are naturally condescending and encourage victim blaming. They will only chip in when we or someone close to us is affected. And this is bad for the equal rights movement. Her mum has been in and out of about 2 marriages, hence the “you must not be married” ideology. Same thing with Betty Irabor’s stance on single mothers. Truth is that if these women were not affected by these things, they will not send. Most seemingly happily married women see this DV topic, or anything related to being unmarried as a taboo because they superstitiously believe it will jinx their own. Anyone “making noise” about DV these days on SM is seen as an “anty gwegz”.

    Pay a visit to those naija matrimony Facebook pages and read some advice on DV, you won’t know if to laugh or cry. They will tell you to wear red paent and watch war room. Then when it happens to someone close to them, they turn to advocates.
    We women no try for ourselves at all.

    • Idomagirl

      May 8, 2016 at 6:21 pm

      My sister. E dey tire person.

  13. Chy

    May 7, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    You can leave your 5 kids just make sure you pay your child support promptly!

  14. Shandi

    May 7, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    What kind of website is this? BN you’ve held my comment for over 2 hours simply because I told Bruno there’s nothing wrong in Adaeze quoting the Bible? Your readers have told you this over and over again, if you’ll not approve comments, simple because you don’t agree, especially when they’re not offensive, then take out the comment section. Jokers!

  15. Same

    May 8, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    First time the women here sound reasonable thanks to @mennist

  16. jumie

    May 9, 2016 at 5:52 am

    Thank you so much for telling them…It’s no one’s Buisness with Adaeze’s marriage..Let’s just look at the message she is passing across and pray for other women passing through this similar situation….God bless you

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