Amaka and Chinedu got married two years ago – click here to see their gold and ivory wedding. They’ve been in a relationship for four years, and she has some insight about marriage.
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My name is Amaka – I am a BellaNaija Bride and wanted to rejoice with you all on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary! These two years have been great not because it has been perfect, but because we love ourselves enough to work through our imperfections.
I would like to share with the world that marriage isn’t a bed of roses. However, how you make your bed is how you lie in it. These are some things we’ve learned or some rules that have helped us in our relationship of 4 years and marriage of 2 years.
- Pray for your spouse. Don’t take your spouse for granted.
- Don’t harbor hate in your hurt.
- Invest in your marriage.
- Your spouse comes first after God.
- Dynamics with others will change. If you’re investing the same amount of time with your friends/family as you were when you were single, you’re taking away from your marriage and the family you’ve both created.
- Yes you will have haters, naysayers, frenemies. Yes you thought some of them were your friends. It comes with the territory of anything great.
- Marriage isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes you will carry each other’s weight at various times. Try as much as you can to pull your own weight. A overly stressed spouse won’t be a happy spouse.
- Encourage and uplift one another.
- Spoil each other. Never stop complimenting each other.
- Allow yourself and your spouse to be comfortable but not too comfortable. Set personal boundaries and limits.
- Put pride and ego aside. Apologize & forgive so you can both move on.
- What’s his or hers is ours. You’re not competing with your spouse.
- Laugh at others who compete amongst themselves for whatever they call the best couple, best house, best car, most money. Such people have already lost in their own perceived competition. There will always be someone who is perceived better. Be content in yourself, and in your marriage. Set your own standards. Inevitably there will be people admiring you as well as hating you for it.
- Continue to date and court one another. The work truly begins after the wedding.
- Take random trips.
- Your home should be a safe haven from the world.
- Guard your marriage. Don’t be paranoid, but never put anything pass anyone.
- Protect your peace. I repeat, protect your peace. Keep all negativity at bay.
- Accept that you’re not perfect, therefore your spouse won’t be either. Love/Work through these imperfections.
- Limit the conversations you have about your marriage especially to family and friends whether good or bad. Maintain its integrity.
- Mind your own relationship. Behind every picture there’s a story you know nothing about. Whether good or bad.
- Vulnerability is not always weakness. It takes more strength and courage to be transparent. Be wise about it.
- Not all advice is good advice for your relationship. Ask God for discernment.