Jasmine Howson-Wright: Intent Matters

What’s the point of a saying “good morning” when you’d rather say “go to hell”.

What’s the point of squeezing out an “I love you” when the last thing on your mind is care?

What’s the point of a strong pull and no support or a warm hug followed by a stab in the back?

What’s the point of helping without empathy, when what lies beneath the deed is self glorification?

What’s the point of being present when one’s presence is truly elsewhere?

What is the point of a smile, when deep within lies disgust and anger?

What is the point of ‘doing’ without sincerity, when ‘not doing’ is an option to spare hurt?

Intent matters!

I have this profound belief that love cannot be imposed on anyone; more so, it shouldn’t have to be. This one ideology has fine tuned my mindset and helped me grow past being a die hard, when it comes to relationships (whichever form they come in).

I strongly believe that you shouldn’t ever have to impose an emotion on anyone. It is not necessary and will never amount to you feeling better about that choice. If a person can’t love you, the best thing you can do for yourself is LET THEM GO AND LOVE WHO THEY CAN LOVE! Keeping a person where they would rather not be, is like deliberately putting bullets in a cylinder and shooting into your chest – one painful bullet at a time. It is never worth it.

Flip the scenario around and you’ll have a situation of the minority of others, who make conscious efforts to avoid and not impose, that these phonies stay. In fact, these few literally see through their acts and know within themselves the danger impending having these phonies around but they don’t go, they stay and act; they go on and on acting – pretending! They tell you good morning but mean to say go to hell; they say, ‘I love you, when they honestly do not care. They pull you towards them with such force and only to let you fall in the opposite direction, HARD. They are the relationships that feel like a warm hug but eventually turn out to be a STAB! They help you, but only to glorify themselves. This scenario is seemingly worst because you subconsciously know they aren’t present but because you actually see them, you want to believe they aren’t really where their presence is, but with you.

Intent matters?

Yes, it does and very much so. Imagine how much easier it would be to live in a world of honest emotions. A world where if I can’t love you, I won’t lie to you but work at simply liking or appreciating you for who you are or keep the distance so another who truly can, is allowed to. A world where if I cannot pull you up from a low without hurting you, I try to find someone else who can. One where going the extra mile is not a catch phrase, a trial and error, a one-day victory sort of event, but rather a conscious and deliberate attempt towards another’s’ happiness.

I recently saw a quote by Wayne Dyer that reads “Our intention creates our reality” and I couldn’t agree more!

I understand that what people do counts most, as opposed to what they intend to do but, I believe that in respect to relationships with human beings (again, in whichever form), the former matters most. I mean you can intend to do something for yourself and not do it, your loss and your personal failure to accept and correct. Now, when it comes to doing or saying something to someone else, when the intent of that act is false, then the reality of it is downright wickedness and in my opinion (and also from what experience gives), there is such a thin, thin…. line between wickedness and false emotion.

You want to compliment a lady because she looks beautiful but judging the history of your relationship with her, you do the opposite. Reality’s verdict – you’re wicked! How about the time you had the opportunity to tell someone their zipper was burst open (in public) and at the opportunity given, you said “wow! That is a lovely skirt”. Telling another you are for them; you always have their back when at the slightest chance you get, you are quick to portion out their secrets for dinner with strangers?

My heartfelt question is – to what gain?

I believe that acts of wickedness are never just mistakes; they do not come upon the doer by chance, nope! They are conscious and thought through, neither is faking an emotion or act any less deliberate.

What does pretence do to these phonies? How does it become second nature to them? Could it be an addiction, a condition, or a birth defect (I mean for people to just act like they have dual personalities?), saying something and meaning another, going extra lengths to push an opinion they would rather on different circumstances, not even think of.

Wait! Or could it be fun? Some type of rush? Thrill, to think that they can play around with another’s trust, acceptance or belief in them?

What if we permit them the benefit of doubt that this could be a product of ignorance on their parts or (and) a seared conscience; not wanting to think past the fallacy they create and remember that intention like a seed, most certainty yields fruits for the sower and that principle of harvest – “What you sow, is what you reap”, is everyone’s portion.

Intent matters.

If the end result of my offering to another is hurt, should I not question my intentions?