“I am not bitter, simply getting better!” BellaNaijarian Adeanon Shares Her Story of “Staying for the Children” & Leaving for Their Wellbeing

This comment was left under another BellaNaija post today, and readers have asked that we make it a separate post for the benefit of others.

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Too many of us ‘stayed’ for the children. Until my 13-year-old daughter asked me – “How can you continue to let him treat you like this?” And I wept that it took the same children I am so called staying for to let me get a brain reset. The story is long, but elements in most of these problem marriages are the same. Infidelity, emotional abuse, financial abuse etc. The one to the last ‘straw’ was me going out to fetch the post one morning in my pyjamas and he closed the door and left me outside for 3 hours. No phone, no house keys, neigbours gone to work. Rural area no bus. 3 hours in freezing winter, whilst my I was on my period.. 3 hours whilst he was Skyping his mistress and looking at me through the bay windows letting me know what he was doing. As I soaked my tampon and stained my PJ bottoms and blood started to pool in the snow, I KNEW I had to get out. But I didn’t.

I let my daughter witness more than 1 year of him giving me the complete silent treatment after that till she could take it no more and asked me that question.

So now 6 months after I left him, I am glowing. I have peace of mind. The kids are adjusting. He stopped paying tuition for the children because he ordered me by email to move back within 48 hours, but God has provided in uncountable ways. I am not sleeping with anyone (his greatest insecurity). I filed for D [divorce], now he’s saying he doesn’t want one. I can’t wait to sign those papers and drop his name.

I am not bitter, simply getting better!

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Photo Credit: © Mrslevite | Dreamstime.com – Woman Photo ***this photo is used for illustrative purposes only***