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Why are there so Many Broken Homes in this Generation? WATCH Dolapo Sijuwade, Lanre Olusola, Yemisi Ilo and Feyi Kuku Discuss on “So You Wanna Get Married”

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Dolapo Sijuwade is out with new episodes of her web series ‘So You Wanna Get Married?’

The topic of the day is’ Why are there so many broken marriages in our generation?’ and she is joined by Life Coach, Lanre Olusola, Co-founder of BattaBox Yemisi Ilo and Medical Doctor, Feyi Kuku as they discuss the sensitive topic of abuse in relationships.

Watch to find out the answers to these questions and much more.

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

37 Comments

  1. stone

    September 20, 2016 at 1:00 am

    Where did Dolapo get this Dr Feyi Kuku from? SMH.

    • Onome

      September 20, 2016 at 4:53 am

      She is soooooooooooooo silly – Dr Feyi Kuku…..She is a MD???? Bush woman! She blames women for everything!

    • Ona

      September 20, 2016 at 6:09 pm

      She said she is a psychologist. Wonder what bush school she attended. Even the horrid accent threw me off from the get go. Pretty sure Dolapo regretted inviting her ass. The others made some great points esp the life coach.

    • EC

      September 20, 2016 at 6:15 am

      I wonder o. Even with the first episode I was looking at her like what?
      Pointless add on. She should have just listened to the other lady with years of experience in marriage and still working hard.
      That Dr is she married? My point being you cannot learn how to from someone that hasn’t experienced it.

    • T

      September 20, 2016 at 4:05 pm

      Dr Feyi Kuku, if you are reading this, please don’t advice people on relationships and marriage because you will be misguided them, its’s not yiur field at all, what????your contribution is totally embarrassing

  2. EE

    September 20, 2016 at 2:30 am

    Why are there so many broken homes??

    Women have more options than to suffer a terrible marriage for the sake of stability. Students are worse off because all the exceptional women blocked off from professional careers in the past who had only the option of teaching left to them are now running the rat race. Civic society is broken because……………same reason with a bit more nuance.

    No need to over yarn on the matter, scarce resources, reaction……..opposite reaction e.t.c.

  3. ranting

    September 20, 2016 at 4:03 am

    Depends on what you call a ‘broken home’, Many people grew up with parents who didn’t like each other and were married on paper, with mums who were single mums in reality and married on paper. Or dads who cheated, abused the mum, had other kids outside. Mums who were emotionally or physically abusive too. That IS a broken home too, just not in public, and in my opionion, I think there is more damage having to grow in that kind of environment. I could use myself as an example and I think many Nigerians (if they are honest) can agree that they are also suffering the consequences. I think it’s healthier that the breakup rates from such abusive situations are higher and I’m not rejoicing at divorce or whatever. Take it from me, fasting, enduring and watching War Room isn’t always going to fix that abusive partner. “Staying for your kids” is actually a selfish excuse in my opinion, and sometimes translates to ‘I prefer more money or society standing to your wellbeing.’ Rant over

  4. Onome

    September 20, 2016 at 4:54 am

    Why did Dolapo give this Dr Feyi Kuku a platform She is ill informed!

    • le coco

      September 20, 2016 at 5:02 am

      pls what dd the doctor say.. abeg with all the negative comments about her I cnt use my data to WatCh d tin abeg..

    • EC

      September 20, 2016 at 6:24 am

      To sum it up, the dr blames women. Says that the success of the marriage is on the woman’s shoulders. That women should only get into marriage if they know they will accept whatever ‘crap’ their husband gives them

    • Ba

      September 20, 2016 at 7:10 am

      Seriously, it’s worth watching. Views were different and that’s make it interesting as the coach proclaim. I truly learn things from the videos. BigUps Marcy.

  5. Lacey

    September 20, 2016 at 6:36 am

    Thank you Lanre Olusola, you were so on point!point of correction is not only women that marry for things , men are worse of in the area of marrying for things this days!I do not blame Nigerian men sometimes!any woman who bleaches her skin has low self esteem,that is the trend in Nigeria right now!when as a woman you see yourself as a commodity ,you will be commoditized , so how do you expect a man to value you! Dr Feyi ,I reserve my comment as you cut across as very timid,but you tried to make a point with choosing someone that you can tolerate,but not to the extent of a man hitting a woman or a woman hitting her man!I do not support early marriage, as people change as they grow older!In all I will give Dolapo Oni 8/10, the background was noisy and Dr Kuku should not have been in the team,as she would have been very helpful if she was discussing her field,like prevention of disease !”Overall rating a must watch!
    As I look to settle even as a matured lady, any man that wants to try nonsense will be stoned back with their ring,no time for nonsense! that is why I tell women make money before you marry and do not marry anybody who is not happy or threatened by your accomplishments !

    • T

      September 20, 2016 at 4:10 pm

      @Lacey, couldnt just believe this ‘Dr Kuku, she kept on saying women should take whatever their husbands throw at them, what kind of backward thinking is that???she’s just unbelievable

    • imose

      September 20, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      My dear I will not sugar coat any thing . You said it right !! Make money before you marry or marry someone you can tolerate . I recall the day I was getting married 8yrs ago… This elderly woman walked up to me and said ” please my daughter can I tell you just one thing ? ” I nodded in agreement . And she said ” tolerance and patience is what you need for marriage to work” . I said ok ma, hastily to Join my hubby because they were waiting for me .
      Now in retrospect , those words she spoke made me realize the truth . No marriage is perfect … With tolerance and patience , choosing which battle to fight ( you can check previous BN post about marriage ) helps a lot ! God help all marriages and may we raise Good men and women too! Kisse y’all . And my love to MS SOCIALLY AKWARD???

  6. M

    September 20, 2016 at 7:12 am

    Hmmm Dr Feyi Kuku. smh
    And then we wonder why people (both men and women) are being battered and dying in their homes, all in the name of making things work or marrying for the right reasons.
    Anyway people remember we are not born to be our parents clone nor should that our life goal.
    We have our journey to go through life, so do what works for you and say no to psychological, emotional violence and physical abuse.

  7. dupsy

    September 20, 2016 at 7:17 am

    Thank God for Lanre Olusola and this Batta box lady. Dr. Feyi Kuku please keep quiet more often and listen to Lanre Olusola when it comes to marital issues that his white beard is experience talking my dear. If divorce rates are at 70 per cent in Nigeria then you can’t come and heap all the blame on the woman that is sooooo sooooo old school and very unrealistic. It takes 2 to tango and build a successful relationship.

  8. GY Online NG

    September 20, 2016 at 7:22 am

    Dr Feyi how market…

  9. seyi

    September 20, 2016 at 7:38 am

    Bn Pls more of this! Dolapo weldone!! This is awesome!! Thanks to the yetunde ilo and the catalyst. Madam kuku, haba!! No words. My husband is going to listen to this. I’m a firm believer in people sitting down and talking before g marriage. What are your expectations from Iife. People don’t talk they depend on feelings before marrying. Love Is not enough. You must be heading in the same direction.. this is cool. I enjoyed it and informative too thank to to catalyst and battabox woman.

  10. Majestic

    September 20, 2016 at 7:48 am

    After reading comments I decided to risk my mb, to be sure that people were not misunderstanding Dr. Feyi. My conclusion is that her mentality is backward. We keep making excuses for the men and hence making them irresponsible. I’d rather listen to yemisi and the life coach. A woman would suffer mental, emotional and physical abuse and what that doctor is saying is that the woman should stay and that it is the woman’s fault ?? So what is now the role of the man for a marriage to be successful if all the blame is now on the woman? That woman cannot practice pschycology or psychiatry.

  11. Marian

    September 20, 2016 at 8:33 am

    Chop knuckle Aunty Yemisi. Me i don’t know know what the other aunty was talking about. Please don’t write book o!!!

    I don’t think we have more broken homes, we just have social media so now we know more about them. Back then, women just went back to their parents house and sometimes dowries were returned. We have a yoruba word for it ( da’lemosu; spelling may be wrong)

    Couples! Don’t take eachother for granted. During our marriage counseling my pastor told us, eat together on the same plate, shower together, kiss often and say i love you everyday. You can’t stay mad at someone standing naked in front of you in the shower. Make i add jare from experience, Infact sleep naked and cuddle often too. Breakfast in bed never hurt nobody!
    Marriage is not meant to be endured but enjoyed.

    • Mr. Egghead

      September 20, 2016 at 10:13 pm

      Your last paragraph just gave me life!

  12. Evly Samba

    September 20, 2016 at 8:36 am

    Chaiii. I love this Lanre Olushola coach. He had some very educative and eye opening pointers. Yemisi Ilo also was worth listening to. Abeg that Dr Kuku should shut up and stop teaching people nonsense. Talking about “as a woman, you should be prepared to stay with a man even if he slaps you or stops giving you money” Sharrapppppp there madam. Women, learn to dress sexy for your man ohhhh abeg…

  13. K-babe

    September 20, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Hmmm. Make money before you get married but y’all are so funny with your advice.
    Why do you think that women have to make money before getting married.
    My mum married my father with nothing and he helped her through her career. Today, there are days she does better than him. She caters to the family when he can’t and it is not hidden. We know.
    Secondly, is marriage not the same as a career. Are there no abusive careers? Don’t they go through similar challenges and all. Or does money and reputation just makes one better?
    Why do we even think that, in the past marriages worked because women were submissive?
    Definately, all the women I have grown around were not submissive. These women rule and they started from the scratch with their husband’s. The only place I see bad marriages are from these celebs and then one or two from SDK. Everybody is feeling like a no-nonsense person these days. I’ve grown up around, strong, opinionated women that know when to draw the line. Some are forty years in, they have had challenges but they have more happier stories.
    I just think this generation, if anyone is interested in marriage should set themselves straight. Be truthful, put in the effort, it deserves concentration and hardwork like your career. Don’t neglect one for the other.
    Chase, chase, chase career there is nothing wrong with that. I just want to let you know that just as a marriage can crash in a day, your career can also crash in a day. So if you find the right person, ignore and be chasing career ok!
    These days women look at men as evil that is why you keep meeting evil men. Sometimes I look at all the good men I know (and I can bet my life on their goodness) and I ask where do these women find bad men from? Your mindset. I am not even married to these men but I have seen how they behave. They will take a step back for their women to move forward. They will choose to strive not for themselves but their wives.
    I keep believing it’s your mind, it is what you believe, it is what you have set yourself up for. You keep talking evil, you will meet evil and when you are almost 40 and no one is looking and you have reached the peak of the career and you are alone, we will see how this conversation goes. Companionship is key, that is why even the most successful American women may not be married but they know to have boyfriends, that were there before the fame. Sted was with Oprah before the fame. If she had said career first, do you think that she will be with someone that has genuine interest in her?

    • Bodunade

      September 20, 2016 at 11:32 am

      May your days be long and full of more wisdom.

    • The real D

      September 20, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      @ K-babe, you speak as though it is impossible for a woman to chase a career and have a successful marriage…”so if you find the right person, ignore and be chasing career”, “when you are almost 40 and no one is looking and you have reached the peak of the career and you are alone, we will see how this conversation goes”. I know you said, there was nothing wrong with chasing a career but then went ahead and then wrote all of the direct quotes i have shown above, so my deduction from your argument is that while chasing a career is not bad, it will deter a woman from having a successful marriage. Why can’t a woman have her own money before marriage? If these men that you claim are so great and would step back so as to allow their women move ahead they should have no problems marrying women who have made things easier for them by being ahead already i.e no need to step back.

      Let me say, i do agree with you that many women/ladies appear to see our men has evil (although they don’t seem to leave these men) and yea that perspective needs to change. I also agree that there is a tendency to attract your expectation but just like weight loss, hair growth, there is no one size fits all to marriage either, because something worked for your parents does not mean it will work for even your next door neighbor not to mention everybody else in the country.. We have heard of men that helped their spouses come from the bottom and never let her hear the end of it and go on and on about it. Should a woman put her life on hold because she is yet to find a partner? i.e someone that is yet to meet anyone in her 20s is going to go on with her life until the right person comes along and should the right person not come along till she is in her 30s or maybe even 40s or 50s should said individual sit on their behind in the hopes of starting from scratch with a man. While i agree with your conclusion, i don’t necessarily agree with the argument made to arrive at said conclusion.

    • Lacey

      September 20, 2016 at 5:59 pm

      @Thank you @realD your head is so there! Do what works for you!if you like carry empty account into marriage! Our parents time and these times are not the same!have a means of livelihood before venturing into marriage to avoid being a baggage to your spouse!whether male or female!

  14. sheke

    September 20, 2016 at 9:16 am

    Dolapo, I’m confused. Thought you had a production Company, so why didn’t you use it? Also BN calls you Dolapo Sijuade but you have Oni in your credits? All in all Lanre and Yemisi were very practical. The KUKU lady was so text book and is apparently not married so na theory tinz.

  15. Ibi

    September 20, 2016 at 9:24 am

    This Dr woman its clear that being book smart and reading your ass off in university does not translate into common sense or understanding of real life situations. She has failed to make one point that makes sense. She has contributed nothing of value to the discussion. it’s ok to have an opposing view however in some way make it a bit convincing. Tell us we should have some degree of indurance but to tell us to live hell on earth because we are women even before we die is unrealistic. To let a man drag us on the floor because it’s our responsibility to keep our marraige together. What is his responsibility please, what are his roles. Can you indure with someone who isn’t willing to make it work who does not fell you are deserving of him to treat you right

  16. miini

    September 20, 2016 at 9:42 am

    It was actually a good watch although I was quite skeptical about watching. Yemisi Ilo is a really smart woman, it was refreshing listening to her thoughts. I can’t say the same for the young doctor tho, a lot of things are just wrong with her thinking and thought process. I really don’t like when women talk and you wanna just put your head on the table, naah. For me though, it still boils down to the fact that it’s the women that have been taught to invest in their marriages and make it work while men have inadvertently been thought to glaze through marriage and expect to be served and waited upon. That whole mentality that marriage is for the man is the bane of our society and until that changes, women will keep getting tired and walking out when they come to themselves and realize that they deserve better. And really why do people still reference our parents’ marriages as examples or as standard? Majority of those marriages were BAD marriages.

  17. Kay

    September 20, 2016 at 10:56 am

    Oh please .. NEVER get that Dr on any marriage or relationship talk show again.. EVER!!

  18. Temi

    September 20, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    I just want to slapppppppp this Dr. Chai!!!!!!!! She doesn’t even want to let other people talk. I feel TERRIBLE for her daughters! Co-habiting is her only solution. Imagine!

  19. Suga

    September 20, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    So for me I believe people should acknowledge and appreciate the differences that exist among all based on the way we have been trained, taught and influenced by the things we have been exposed to over time. That way it would be easier for one to understand the other and find a way around it. That is the reason I encourage people to court before marriage that way you would know if you can cope with the person’s personality, believes, thought patterns etc. Also a lot of these people always see the traits of what they are suffering from in their marriages today but choose to ignore it and went ahead to marry the person for some reason like he is rich, he is handsome, he lives abroad he is from my church, from my village, or I can’t wait anymore etc. Like I always said to my friends if there are things you don’t like about him leave him or brace up to manage it for peace in your home because the chances of change is usually very low after marriage and even if leave him he would find his match who may not complain about the things you complain at so will you find your match. I can beat my chest to say that my husband have never shocked me because I took my time to study him during courtship and I can always predict what he can do or say at a time that way I do not find my marriage a hard one. Therefore most marriages fail today because most couple tend to be carried away during courtship with frivolities over looking the vital things that makes a good man or woman in marriage until reality sticks them over and over in marriage and because they were never ready for it, they find it overwhelming and impossible to manage and they will end up confused and broken and the next on their mind will be divorce. Above all if you are already in a marriage for any of the wrong reasons that is not working, please start praying for God’s mercies on the both of you and know when to go for a break while you continue to pray for the marriage. There is nothing impossible with GOD.

  20. MoMo

    September 20, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    Yemisi Ilo was absolutely brilliant, real, practical and came across as someone with a great personality. The doctor…well, I think she is a true product of the Nigerian ‘suffer in silence’ mentality. Which is a shame, given her education. I hope she finds true liberation. Coach, excellent points. Enjoyed the show. Great work.

  21. Gorgeous

    September 20, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    I learnt a whole lot from the Olusola guy! I hope he practices what he preaches. Yemisi tried a whole lot too. As for madam Dr. Welldone o. Na you carry cup for misyarn of the year…smh

  22. Maguim

    September 20, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    I actually took some notes of what the life coach said!!! I sent the link to my lartied friends and they love what he said

  23. Sheun

    September 22, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    I have watched this video halfway and I am APPALLED at what Dr. Kuku is saying. Na wa o! HMMMM….

  24. Sheun

    September 22, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    We need more videos from THIS life coach! He is the truth!!!

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