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“Please keep the kids out of this or you will kill something fragile in them” – A Friend of Freeze & Opeyemi Pens an Open Letter to Them

BellaNaija.com

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Freeze & Opeyemi

Over the weekend Opeyemi Olarinde the estranged wife of OAP Freeze (real name Ifedolapo Olarinde) reached out to BellaNaija to tell her own truth concerning the events that led to their separation.

A couple of hours later, Freeze also reacted to the allegations contained in Opeyemi’s interview.

A friend to both Opeyemi and Freeze who will like to remain anonymous, has now penned an open letter, asking them to forgive one another, forget all that has happened, and move on.

Its reads:
Dear Freeze and Ope.

I see what is happening on social media and it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because there was a time you both loved each other. There was a time that Freeze was the hottest halfcast boy that Ope couldn’t stay without. A time when Ope was the most beautiful slim, tall, dark skinned girl that was the apple of Freeze’s eyes.You both know me to mind my business but I can’t sit back and see what you are doing to yourselves.

Yes, Freeze has his flaws, tons of them that I won’t mention but one thing I know is that he is not a bad man or a bad father. I worked with him for donkey years to know this.

I always knew that your (both of you) marriage would end sometime in the future because Freeze was always miserable…your (both of you) marriage made me question marriage. Freeze would rather hang around the office than go home.

I remember Freeze bringing his kids to the studio to do shows with him…I really admired their camaraderie ☺☺☺. He was proud to show them off…especially his very intelligent son, Ayo and Adun his very pretty daughter. You all made such a beautiful picture despite your issues.

Sometimes when I don’t see the kids for a while, I would ask and he would proudly say they had travelled abroad with you; Ope for the holidays. I knew him to be a man who cared about his family. He would boast with you Ope…saying how great a cook you are.??? despite you having marital problems. He told me once told me that you won a beauty pageant. I could sense that he still wanted things to get better between both of you. He just was lost, in a way I couldn’t understand. Maybe he didn’t know how to make things better…but he cared.

Ope I know you as a wonderful woman, a very good cook too. I remember your Banga soup with bush meat brought by Freeze from his travels and how I sat down at your Dinning table to enjoy it with pounded yam…too delicious…???. You Ope also packaged some bush meat for me to take home…a generous woman you are. You also would do anything for your kids and they adore you.

From a woman’s perspective, I saw that you were not happy too. Yes…marital stress can break even the strongest of nerves.

Remember when we all went for a mini vacay at La Campaigne tropicana and we all stayed in the same apartment years ago? I could feel your pain. The pain of a woman who had a tough life and just wanted things to go well.

A mini vacay that was supposed to be enjoyed became a quarrel between both of you. What I saw then was that you both had a problem with communication. As they say, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I saw it crystal clear.

Maybe you weren’t meant for each other or maybe are but you both just lost your ways…because independently, you are both good people.

Ope is the type of girl that struggles with a man. Years ago, she would fetch water in a bucket, place it on her head and climb up the stairs to take care of her home. Yep…she is that kind of woman. The kind of woman that supports a man in her home.

My man Freeze and my darling Ope. Please keep the kids out of this or you will kill something fragile in them. You are both great parents. That, I can attest to. Things just got bad between the two of you…as it does in most marriages but we all handle it differently. Some work it out, some can’t.

Ope dear, as a woman and a mother I feel you and understand you more than you know. I know some of your struggles and I know it hurts to think of all the years you gave and gave and gave in your own ways…only for things to turn out this way. Just forgive and forget. The God we serve will never forsake you. You will see happiness and sun shine in your life. Focus on your beautiful children and please speak no evil of their father to them. This issue is between you and Freeze. They will grow up soon and judge for themselves. If you play your role well…they will grow to respect you more.

My big brother Freeze. We know you are now with Benedicta and we wish you both well. Please remember your kids are your kids. Never forget that. You will grow old tomorrow and you will need them. You will not always be young. It is in your old age that you will need around you…PLEASE ???…Play your role well as a father in their lives and you will be blessed for it. Trust me…when they grow  up and understand things better after experiencing life for themselves, they will not judge you harshly because they know we all live in an imperfect world. So please…don’t close that door.

Benedicta! Do not aggravate issues by pouring fuel in the already burning fire. Remember this…HOT AKARA MUST BE COLD. Handle your relationship with sense. The man you are with can wake up one day and decide to go back to his ex…YOU NEVER CAN TELL WITH MEN. ???. Just maintain your lane and be at peace with all.

By the tune of this letter, I know you all (Freeze and Opeyemi) can guess who I am.

Remain blessed.

35 Comments

  1. Anon

    April 24, 2017 at 10:40 am

    And you couldn’t talk to them in private? You had to pen an open letter…. Na wa for you ooo

    • Shalla

      April 24, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      No mind am, so ppl can say he advised them.

    • adelegirl

      April 25, 2017 at 6:01 pm

      He/she probably has before but decided to pen this open letter now since the whole brouhaha got out in the open again on SM

  2. Dee

    April 24, 2017 at 10:45 am

    I like this. Sounds unbiased.

    • Dee

      April 24, 2017 at 10:49 am

      More determined to keep the issues between me and my soon to be ex husband between us (so help me God).
      The kids will figure it out themselves in due time.

    • Amara

      April 24, 2017 at 12:51 pm

      Hi dear. Don’t know who ‘re. Just touched by your comment and just wondering that since you are not yet exes, is there nothing that can be done to save the marriage. Forgive me if this annoys you.

    • Dee

      April 24, 2017 at 3:41 pm

      Aww..thanks.

      I left because he was getting erratic and will listen to no one but himself. I endured as much as I could.He wasn’t open to working on the marriage.

      He believes he is the master and moi the servant (lol). I was (still do) praying for us from afar and hoping we could sort things out. But he filed for divorce actually so I guess he is done done. Me on the hand cant beg someone to want me. We should want to each other…if there’s anything like that. I believe that marriage requires two people who are committed to it.

      Thanks for asking.

      1
  3. Abi

    April 24, 2017 at 10:48 am

    Freeze, his ex wife, current wife and all their associates penning open letters are a bunch of media whores. Surely all this could be resolved in private

  4. Marie Antoinette

    April 24, 2017 at 10:55 am

    Open letter, open letter…this social media ehn!
    So people don’t know their friends’ homes, offices or phone numbers any more??????? Na wa o!!!

    • Bella

      April 24, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      My dear I feel you sha, this is helluva annoying!!

  5. Canary

    April 24, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Sometimes open letters drive home the point than speaking in private, just saying!

    • D

      April 24, 2017 at 1:54 pm

      I disagree. “This friend” could have emailed this letter to both parties since its so nicely worded instead of publishing.

  6. FinchleysFinest

    April 24, 2017 at 11:41 am

    Please let us all pen our one cent in an open letter abeg… SEBI Dr Freeze and WizFreeze knows how to weigh in on other peoples matter na… Oya… Lets go

  7. esther truth

    April 24, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    It was an open later bcos they made their crisis open to the public. I Blame our govt for not teaching people sociology in schools so they can understand how the society works to lestn the difference between public life and private life. That is why some girls will dress half naked and steppout, telling you its not your business how they dress but they forgot anything you bring to the public society, its no longer your business but the society business.

    So since this is a public matter, me too will shade my own light on this: to freeze and Opeyemi, you cannot know everything or be evrtything; from what the letter entails, it seems you had some marriage communication crisis and I don’t know if you took your time to ever visit marriage advicers or coach to put you through on how to go about it bevaues marriage us not a Cinderella film. Its like a business where you need mentors and business consultants to help you scale.

    Its high time we take marriages serious than even businesses in Africa because its the first institution of life.

    #dropspen

  8. Midday

    April 24, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    ”Blessed are the peace makers for they shall inherit the earth.”

  9. milly

    April 24, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    And you had to address the Benedita this way without even hearing her side of the story fa? You should have left her out of this your tirade. Personally, I think you shoula writtten them this letter and sent it as an email sha. My 2 kobo.

  10. okoko

    April 24, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    END TIME FRIEND

  11. Bella

    April 24, 2017 at 12:53 pm

    Honestly, i think people tend to forget the adage “Do not wash your dirty linen in public.”. So what is the meaning of all these open letters? Like firstly, this is a grown ass couple, don’t they have friends or relatives to sit them down and stop penning open letters, and if it fails, since the marriage has already failed and Mr Man has clearly moved on, so why the need for all this openness on social media and i just don’t get why people feel the need to respond to anything said by an ex? Seriously… does everything warrant a response? And again these people have children, so they will continue to see and be in each others’ lives for a bit, whether for family socials, school meetings, etc etc, i will never understand why grown ass people want to consistently air their dirty linen in public, I honestly wish a ni**a would. I have always been of the standing that silence is golden, its not everything that needs airtime on social media.

  12. PEN

    April 24, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    Is cooking very critical in the Nigerian marriage setup? I find it very astonishing that cooking is mentioned at this critical juncture, somewhat as her defining attributes as a wife. Kindly excuse my ignorance, I am not Nigerian.

    • Idomagirl

      April 24, 2017 at 2:05 pm

      Ah yes o! In Nigeria cooking is a BIG DEAL….infact, I don’t even know how well I can explain it to you sef….
      A woman that cannot or will not cook?
      That outrages my people more than Senator Yerima marrying a 13 year old o.
      A woman’s ability to cook is one of the ways her worth is measured in this our society, that’s why when people write posts like this they always mention her cooking skills, and many successful women in Nigeria still come around once in a while to tell us they still cook for their husbands.

      Omo the matter deep, you fit use am do PhD thesis sef.

      1
    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      April 24, 2017 at 3:36 pm

      ??? I can see you’ve properly “observed” the matter wey e be so. ?

      No be small thing…. we’re clearly far too focused on activities to do with our stomachs & sexual organs, to pay attention to other areas of growth in that country. ?

    • LL

      April 24, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      Yes cooking is quite important. I hate to say ‘critical’ but for some people, even the most widely travelled and liberal, a good wife is expected to know how to cook, to actually cook and to cook well. Many men have found that it doesn’t necessarily make a good wife;but they appreciate it all the same. And make no mistake;many women actually find cooking for their husbands a great pleasure.

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but many men and their families/friends have used this to bully women, thereby taking the pleasure out of it. An example is a mother-in-law expecting hot, freshly-made soup daily from a woman who just had a baby; or a man whose soup must be fresh daily no matter what the woman goes through-that’s meanness

    • funmilola

      April 24, 2017 at 8:14 pm

      You’re truly not a Nigerian!
      not only must you know how to cook, you must know how to serve the food well too. Someone once told me it’s a taboo for him to “enter the kitchen” when a woman is around.

    • Engoz

      April 24, 2017 at 9:31 pm

      If you are a non-feminist woman, you shouldn’t have any problems with this. Cooking and going to the market are the forte of women. Traditional customs consider it taboo for men to do what women are supposed to do and vice versa. Where you can argue with him is if in the same vein he wants a wife that ‘contributes’ financially to his household, then you can expose his hypocrisy. Traditionally African women traded, but whatever they did with their money was their business, and not the man’s business.

  13. Idomagirl

    April 24, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    I hope both of them listen, also I like what she said to Benedicta.
    I will never understand women who add pepper and salt when their man is being a dick to his ex, when he can just as easily turn on you and do the same or even worse.
    Keep enabling nonsense, it can be you tomorrow.

  14. Deleke

    April 24, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Lately ‘Real Nigerian’ has been quiet, I hope all is well…….

  15. Mystique

    April 24, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    cooking is overrated; come and bite me! my mum is a fantastic cook yet……….mscheeew *rolls eyes*. Let us face the real issue; NIGERIAN MEN ARE ENTITLED. if you like cook, score an A+ in the *oza room*, have a banging body after 3 kids, be well schooled with a great job, they will still look for a reason to step outside. They know women desperately want to be married so they take advantage of the situation. SIMPLE.

    anyhoo, i’m indifferent about the article being published on social media. She didnt say more than what the couple have already revealed. My advice to Ope is forgive, but dont forget the lessons. Let the courts mandate Freeze to pay the kids school fees and a little extra for their welfare since Ope has primary custody and pays the rent where they live. Ope, please rebuild your life; divorce is NOT a death sentence. God bless.

    • The fault in our stars

      April 24, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      You hit the nail on the head!!!!! Nigerian men are entitled, Nigerian single women are shameless and Nigerian wives try too hard to keep their man but do it the wrong way. It’s not only about the physical or intellectual. Familiarity breeds contempt and that also goes for marriage. Wives bend over backwards to please their men and then get angry when the men don’t appreciate you. Stop always being available. Stop putting your life on hold cos u got married and had kids. Nigerian Wives wear sacrificing everything like a badge of honour and that’s the first problem. I read an article a long time ago and it said that people should sign a contract of their expectations from each other before getting married and review it every year

      Another big problem is that Nigerian wives love to look the other way when their men mess up especially sexually, as long as their men give them money. We always tell men to Man up. Women should damn well woman up to. If you show him in the sweetest way (revenge is best served on a cold dish) he will think twice before her does it again. But once you ignore it, he will think twice before engaging.

      Sometimes its about knowing how to communicate what u want. Many Nigerian wives become mums and nags once they marry because they think it’s the best way to get things done or be respected

      Both Nigerian men and women are to blame for the state of marriages

  16. Hamdalat

    April 24, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    For some reason, this write up brought tears to my eyes. I think the writer made this an open letter to do some damage control and change people’s perception of these two. This is a selfless and unbiased friend if you ask me. Dear madam Ope and Mr. Freeze, please listen to this dear acquaintance of yours-put the children first in all that you will do or say from now on……remember, the internet never forgets. Do not scar your children just because you want to score cheap points.

    • Tima

      April 25, 2017 at 3:01 am

      I agree with you Hamdalat.

      This is a friend who cares and buy the sound of the open letter, you can sense that her heart is breaking too.

      May God give us great friends.

      Personally, I think the writer of this felt she could reach out better by publishing and to do damage control.

      God bless her.

  17. joseph

    April 24, 2017 at 5:44 pm

    TO DEE: Hi just taught id comment, im no expert but i see and feel you still love your husband, dee no man wants to destroy his home or wants to be divorced, he sees it as his only way out, im in the same situation as you are im separated, thinking of filing… her idea but due to my fault, no cheating, no abuse. What ever you are going through he is as well, the person who initiates the divorce always suffers the most. Whether he has filled or not as far as he gave you ring and took you to the altar he still loves you, hes just scared and helpless , your job as his wife is to try and find out why he feels this way, anger is as a result of frustration and hurt its that simple….. differences in upbringing destroys many marriages. The other person due to upbringing see abusive behavior as normal why the other does not. 80PERCENT OF ALL SEPARATIONS AND DIVORCES ARE USUALLY INITIATED BY WOMEN, as you said you left, that is always the beginning of the end, i always advice ladies i counsel, if he isnt physically abusive or your life isnt in danger,, stay and solve your marital problems from within your home once you leave it is most likely that marriage will end.,The bible not from a biblical point of view but from a physiological perspective has proven to be the most accurate description and blue print for marriage it is one of the oldest books in existence, They havent added any other thing else since it was completed because all the advice in it works….Unfortunately, Marriage isnt for everyone but please if you intend to get married follow the rules in it, its the best approach to having marital bliss, men and women are created differently. Dee is never really over till the woman gives up, Go home and try again, like i said im no expert and am just airing my views…

  18. joseph

    April 24, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    TO DEE: Hi just taught id comment, im no expert but i see and feel you still love your husband, dee no man wants to destroy his home or wants to be divorced, he sees it as his only way out, im in the same situation as your husband we are separated, thinking of filing… her idea but due to my fault, no cheating, no abuse. What ever you are going through he is as well, the person who initiates the divorce always suffers the most. Whether he has filled or not as far as he gave you ring and took you to the altar he still loves you, hes just scared and helpless and doesnt see a way of getting through to you , your job as his wife is to try and find out why he feels this way, his anger is as a result of frustration and hurt its that simple….. differences in upbringing has destroyed many marriages. The other person due to upbringing see abusive behavior as normal why the other does not. 80PERCENT OF ALL SEPARATIONS AND DIVORCES ARE USUALLY INITIATED BY WOMEN, as you said you left, that is always the beginning of the end, i always advice ladies i speak with, if he isnt physically abusive or your life isnt in danger,, stay and solve your marital problems from within your home once you leave it is most likely that marriage will end.,The bible not from a biblical point of view but from a physiological perspective has proven to be the most accurate description and blue print for marriage it is one of the oldest books in existence, They havent added any other thing else since it was completed because everything in there works….Unfortunately, Marriage isnt for everyone and should be avoided all together if you are over opinionated and cannot forgive others for being flawed… but please if you intend to get married follow the rules in the bible, its the best approach to having marital bliss, men and women are created differently, these diffrences will ALWAYS cause conflicts no matter who you marry,. Dee is never really over till the woman gives up, Go home and try again, like i said im no expert and am just airing my views…

  19. adekunle

    April 24, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    I always laff when i read things like this… my own brother came to live with me for 8months, we have fought 10 times, eventually he packed out himself, people marriage no be beans ooooh,if living with someone ive known all my life brings this much drama what of someone you havent known that long… no marriage is perfect, marriage is easy living with someone you cant kick out, now thats the problem.. .

  20. PEN

    April 24, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Many thanks for the explainations on the importance of cooking….give context to the article/ letter assertions.

  21. mimi

    April 25, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    Finally the OPEN LETTER KING gets one himself! See how annoying it can be? And with the same mouth he uses to advise people in his open letters to ‘deal with issues with maturity’ he’s making noise all over social media. He didn’t even wait for the interview to finish before he started making noise. Abeg leave trash for LAWMA!!!

    *swings away while whistling to Dino Melaye’s hit song*

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