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“It’s a cycle we must break” – Toke Makinwa raises Awareness on Emotional Abuse



Toke Makinwa, BN TV

Toke Makinwa

Media personality Toke Makinwa has, on her Twitter, spoken against the often ignored bane that is emotional abuse.

In a series of tweets, Makinwa discussed emotional abuse, not from the man against woman standpoint, but parents against children. She wrote:

When people hear emotional abuse they are quick to think man/woman dynamic but do you know parents emotionally abuse their kids too?

Check out the tweets below:

"It's a cycle we must break" - Toke Makinwa raises Awareness on Emotional Abuse - BellaNaija


  1. lady

    October 11, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    i have ben saying this for years. the emotional abuse from parents to children is worse than physical abuse. it messes one up and its sad, really sad,especially Nigerian mums who are quick to use vile words on their kids at the slightest provocation. these words will become your kids so carry on. at the end of the day i tell people who are going through the same thing to just LIVE YOUR LIFE by your standards because your parents cant give you what they didn’t get from their parents . instead of them to instill respect they instill fear smh anyway new generation parents you have to do better by yourself and by your kids

    • Bleed Blue

      October 11, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      “instead of them to instill respect they instill fear”

      Spot on!

      I saw this on IG earlier and people were going on about how Toke shouldn’t “westernize” parenting and how our parents did “what was best for us” to “mold us into what we are today” etc.
      NO! I disagree! Let’s not get it twisted. Emotional abuse is waaaaaaaay different from strict parenting, and the latter is what I subscribe to.

      A lot of people are walking anger bombs for no clear reason. I’m no shrink but I strongly believe the psychology of it can be traced back to unresolved emotional abuse with a side dish of physical abuse.

      I recall once my Dad entered the room my brothers and I shared, it was a lazy Saturday morning and no one had showered yet. He wasn’t impressed but he faced only me.
      He said “You better go and have a bath so you can wash that wound that you women have between your legs”.
      I get that he wanted me to practice better hygiene as a female, but heck I was just 8yrs old and that statement made me see myself differently for years till I grew up and grew out of it.
      Let me not even start with my stories, I will be typing till 2019.

      We must do better by our own children abeg. We really must.

    • layolomo

      October 11, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      @Bleed Blue .. Wooooow!!
      He referred to lady private parts as “wound in between legs” dammn! such vile words!
      Some parents have been so damaged as kids that they end up damaging their kids in return. We must break this nasty cycle.

    • momo

      October 11, 2017 at 8:53 pm

      so sad..but some of us had wonderful parents who did not abuse emotionally so don’t generalise

    • Anon

      October 11, 2017 at 9:30 pm

      momo – layolomo’s use of “some” is the operative word. Same way you used some. Some damaged parents and some wonderful parents.

      Both of you didn’t generalise. ?


    October 11, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    Toke i don’t want to hear you BREATHE not to talk of SPEAK. Away with you.

    • Leesa

      October 11, 2017 at 6:28 pm

      Lmao but you’re here reading about her. Get your life boo

    • Puzzles

      October 11, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      Wow!!! Some people are just wicked. You don’t want to hear Toke BREATHE, meaning you want her to die???? What has Toke done to you that you would wish her dead on a public blog? Pleasr, THINK before you comment and cleanse your heart.

    • Dami

      October 12, 2017 at 10:06 am

      Why are so hateful? Effing troll. Hateful human being you are. What has she done to you? To say you don’t want to hear another human being speak. Take several seats you piece of garbage

  3. BB

    October 11, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    The ‘i’m fighting with your mother so i wont pay your school fees’ one is so freaking common! and it makes me wonder are you punishing ur wife by allowing your kids stay at home??? i mean whats the logic in that,?i had a friend who when her parents split, her father said he would not take care of her if her mom dared to remarry or be seen with another man, and thats how her mom stayed single while he went on to remarry

    • largerthanlifealice

      October 12, 2017 at 11:27 am

      i blame the mother ….if he refuses to pay the sch fees why can she marry and pay herself… i bet they where still fucking while he was married ..atiimes we women bring these things to our self

  4. seriously

    October 11, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    Yes, African/Nigerian parents are lashing out of anger, bitterness, and frustration. It’s become borderline abuse. We need to do better. I don’t also agree with the leniency in the western world. Just balance it out.

  5. mystery

    October 11, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    its really sad..i was emotional abused by my mother..i always feel left out..

  6. JOS BOY

    October 11, 2017 at 6:32 pm

    YOU FORGOT THIS ONE: There is also the emotional abuse a former spouse is subjected to when a book is written about them and their flaws and alot of many is made from it, including tours etc.

    • kkay

      October 11, 2017 at 7:11 pm

      @ JOS BOY you are being petty. Don’t trivialize the issue of emotional abuse of children by bringing up Toke’s personal relationship. Wait until you counsel children that are victims or your child runs away from home.

      And YES, Toke DID WELL TO WRITE THAT BOOK. Enough of some men feeling entitled to cheat and lie in relationships. Society excpects women to tolerate thrashy men and keep silent. CRAP! Thrash thrashy men all the way.

    • Puzzles

      October 11, 2017 at 10:44 pm

      Which emotional abuse did Make suffer? Was it when he was sleeping with Anita in the home Toke was paying for or when he impregnated Anita? Guy, respect yourself

  7. John

    October 11, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    I can’t believe I am agreeing with toke for once…hmmm…I can’t even find a loophole. ..she is right, al these abuse on one own children … then imagine the the kind of abuse Nigerian women inflict on their maids and step children..and funny enough, u rarely see femtards talking about it

  8. Funmilola

    October 11, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    If I start to talk……thank God I’m healed.

  9. Kaira

    October 11, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    JOS BOY, that’s very unnecessary and uncalled for please. This time around Toke made a very valid point. I especially like the part where she said “my parents raised me that way and i didn’t die so my kids wont die either”. Its so true. Most Nigerian parents feel they can talk to their kids anyhow forgetting that this kids have hearts and are very sensitive so whatever you tell them rings in their heads for a long time and not in a good way. Its just not right. We need to realise there’s a line between discipline and emotional abuse and most parents cross that line without even knowing. The earlier we spread the awareness, the better for us all.

  10. Esthie

    October 12, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    tookee!! this topic is so it….it’s high time this issue is addressed…this emotional abuse thing has caused a lot of damage psychologically to a lot of people out there and please it needs to stop!

  11. Asake`

    October 16, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    Hmmm! This made me not to love my mum one bit. She almost killed us. Myself & my younger sis). There’s this mark all over my body, she gave me the mark with razor blade and blended fresh pepper all because I came late from an errand. She made me drank my pee, she made me punch the wall till my knuckles got bruised and I carried the wound unattended to for months, If I decides to go bald today, I will have one million and one marks caused by throwing hammer, Plier, Pot, stool, broken plates on my head to show to the world…. as I speak, she haven’t even repented from her wicked act which made me distance myself & kid from her. Don’t even preach forgiveness to me because I have forgiven her long ago but I can’t/ won’t forget what she did to me. Everlasting wound in my heart. So, Toke, I agree with you on this.

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