Olawunmi Esan: What Does It Really Mean To Be A Man?

The word ‘Man’, though a three letter word seems to carry a lot of weight. The word ‘Man’ makes you think of strength, pride and formidability.

Unfortunately, in our society today, that word has been abused and grossly distorted.

What does it really mean to be a man?

Does being a man mean showing strength in an abusive way? Does it mean responding with slaps and punches at the slightest provocation? Does it mean the ability the juggle multiple women at once without getting caught? Does it mean the ability to steal and get away with it? Does it mean intimidating others with material wealth? Does it mean the ability to show your woman you are the boss by physically and emotionally abusing her?

Sadly in today’s world, being a man has come to mean all of those things cited above. What is more disheartening is that the younger generation of men have picked up on this faulty definition of manhood and have begun to exhibit these negative traits.

I keep repeating the word ‘Man’ over and again in my mind. The more I repeat it, the more formidable it sounds to me.

I think of a man and I think of strength, I think of a protector. A man by default has more physical strength than a woman but his strength is not meant for intimidation and opposition. His strength was given to him to be a protector of his family. He should be the defender of his family and not the adversary. A man protects his family from harm, physical or otherwise.

His woman and children run to him and know they are safe. His woman knows that he will welcome her into his lovingly protective arms, when she has had a bad day and needs to be soothed. She feels calm and happy to know that his approval is all she needs to move forward. When she is faced with opposition, knowing her man is in her corner, makes her feel ready to take on the world.

A man is a protector and a rock; however, because he is human, there are times he will feel worn out and need protection himself. At that point, those whom he protects become his protectors. The nurturing nature of his woman and the non-judgemental and naturally protective instincts of his children become his fortress when he needs it.

A man who has protected no one has no place to seek solace when he is naked, exposed and in dire need of protection.

A man should be honorable. In recent times, the reaction to you get when you speak about men comprises of hissing, eyeballing and a lot of bad mouthing. Simply because a lot of men are not honorable. Men have become synonymous with dishonor. Quite a number of men will not hesitate to steal, cheat in business, cheat in their love lives and lie without remorse.

This trait has become so synonymous with men that by default, they are ‘Guilty until proven innocent’. Men have abused the prestige that should come with who they are and sadly see nothing wrong with it. The younger generation of men are being taught by example, this defective definition of what a man should be.

Please let honor be restored to the word ‘Man’ once again. Let it be said that if a man gives you his word, he will stand by it. Let it be said that his word is his bond.

Just as ‘Respect begets Respect’ so does ‘Honor beget Honor’.  Women will arise and give honor to a man who has placed himself in a position of honor.

Being a man should be about taking pride in being honorable. It should not be about having an over bloated ego exhibited by pompous and pretentious behaviour.

I long for the day the word ‘Man’ will command the respect and honor that it truly deserves. I may be waiting a long time for that to happen if men do not begin to have a paradigm shift about who they truly ought to be.

This doesn’t have to be a massive ‘Movement for Change’; this is a change that can start with one man. All it takes is one man who lives right, teaches his sons to live right and by example, teaches others to live right….this change can begin with YOU.

This is a call to men to restore honor to manhood.

Man, discover thy true self.

Photo Credit: Foto.com.ng | Nsoedo Frank