Better Days

While at work a few days ago, I had a thought – a nice evening swim will be good. I had missed the nice soothing water in the pool at Ikoyi club and all of a sudden I longed for it. Luckily for me, my husband had just the other day gone to pay his subscription and had graciously paid mine as well, so I was good to go.

Then I had another thought – I should ask my Husband along too, we can both enjoy the swim and that would ensure I was a passenger and not the driver; sometimes one needs a break from the damned steering wheel. So I sent him a text – Evening swim later? He replied – “nice idea, if I’m able to get off work at a decent time today“. I instinctively rolled my eyes as per, here we go again! As I always say to him, he LOVES to “form” busy! I have a very good idea of his work schedule and routine and he hardly ever gets THAT busy. Anyway, in the spirit of choosing my battles wisely, I replied – “ok no prob, you must be swamped, another time“. After clicking “send”, I resolved to go swimming on my own.

On getting home however, who was already waiting for me? Le hubby! The second I walked in, he was already screaming from upstairs, “I’m packed and ready to go oh, please come and get your things and let’s go“. I was pleasantly surprised, so I hurriedly ran upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time, packed my things and jumped in the passengers seat -Bliss! So off we went, got to the club, got changed and jumped in the pool. We initially started off in separate pools as my husband fancies himself to be a pro and chose to swim in the first pool because it is slightly deeper. In any case, I went to the other pool. After a few laps, he joined me and we swam together, chatted and just had a good old relaxing time in the pool. After our swim, we bumped into two of his friends and we all sat down to have a meal. Conversation was light, funny and engaging and we managed to get through it with very minimal digs at each other. After dinner, everyone went home. On getting home, though late with work the next day, we even still managed to slip in some “sexy time”. That was the good day!

When my alarm went off the next morning, I woke up needing more sleep and therefore cranky, only to discover that my husband had used up all the hot water (and this is something he does fairly regularly). Needless to say, I was livid! It was already shaping up to be a bad day and it truly ended up being one. Right after my cold shower as I didn’t have enough time to boil water in the kettle, I don’t need to tell y’all who I called to give a piece of my very pissed off mind. I got back from work in the evening to find that he’d left his key in the lock and fallen asleep (now, this he does VERY regularly); leaving me to pound on the door for minutes until he woke up.

It was indeed a very bad day. Now, what I found interesting, was how somewhere in the middle of the “bad” day I was having, I was able to accommodate thoughts of the good day we had just the day before. These thoughts were able to put a smile on my face, even if for just a second; long enough for me to remember my cold shower and start frowning again. It instantly reminded me of something I always tell my husband – “so far we are still able to smile about something, we are good. Once there is nothing to smile about, then our marriage is in trouble“.

Dear readers, whether you are married, dating or seeing someone, being toasted or simply loving someone out there, who is doing your head in; sometimes taking you for granted or just frustrating you, try to think of those “good” days you’ve had with the person and allow it put a smile on your face.

Now, I’m not talking about someone who is beating you or trying to cut short your life span, or someone who you obviously know is just taking advantage of you, no. I’m talking about normal relationships that may take a bashing once in a while. When he is being selfish, insensitive, ganging up with his mother or being a big-headed chauvinist; when he hurts you, forgets your birthday or does not try hard enough with your family, try, as hard as it may be sometimes, to remember those better days. The thought may just soften the blow. I sincerely hope this helps in this journey of togetherness we choose to embark on with our other halves.
Like my friend says – ‘couple matter, e no easy’.

Photo Credit: standardmedia.co.ke

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Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/ nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a fulfilled and happy life.

38 Comments on Better Days
  • Ohboy January 21, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Nice one.

  • Molat January 21, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Brilliant! makes a lot of sense. just what i needed to read this morning and also sharing it with a friend who needs it.

  • obi January 21, 2014 at 10:39 am

    thanks

  • deediva January 21, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Such an important statement made in this article. Alot of couples need to under stand that there will be bad days but it doesnt take out how fantastic a person your partner is. Same thing does with life events, it cant all be good days

  • just me January 21, 2014 at 10:42 am

    OMG! Now am d first 2 comment but am speechless!!! Nice piece though

  • Jescy Eagle January 21, 2014 at 10:45 am

    very interesting…couple matter e no easy at all…

  • giggy January 21, 2014 at 11:02 am

    nice write up

  • amakadon January 21, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Nice

  • naana January 21, 2014 at 11:27 am

    love this.

  • Pat January 21, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Wao! Really nice write up.

  • Olufi January 21, 2014 at 11:59 am

    The Oga annoyed me this morning, been seething with anger all morning and forming in my head all the things i was going to say to him (including him going to find another woman to deal with his issues). With Marriage on the table, i was not ready to be dealing with this at all. but this article, has helped me see better. We have the best days, even on days when he annoys me, we still manage to talk for hours, laugh and all. It is these days that would help me through mornings like the one I am having at the moment. Happier now, exactly what i needed. Thanks :)

  • X-Factor January 21, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    This is deep!

  • Mz Socially Awkward... January 21, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Very nicely said. E really no easy, from what I’ve heard from different quarters and even life in itself no easy, whatever stage of it you’re in – therefore, every bit of effort to hold on to your joy goes a long way.

  • Grown Man January 21, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    Well said! I couldn’t agree more.

  • 300JJJ January 21, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    SOO on point! loving every bit of it….Nice article

  • Laide January 21, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    My boyfriend definitely sent u to write this,! Ok I ve heard, he is now forgiven..lol

  • FunkyW January 21, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    lol @laide. There are definitely bad and good days in all relationships, this article reminds me of my mum, on some bad days she would say, she’ll leave us and travel to America to search for a job…. all we do is smile cause we know that the next day all the fire would have quenched and smallest things would bring her joy.

    • memebaby January 21, 2014 at 7:34 pm

      lol my dad used to say the same thing when my mom wasn’t in the country. ” you people think I do not know how to travel ? I will just leave you all and not come back!”. pops wahala plenty so we’ll just laugh small and say we can help him pack his things. (never had the guts to say that to his face though lol)

      • Temitope February 18, 2014 at 5:06 pm

        Lol…reminds me of my mom

  • Chioma January 21, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    This made me smile..and i remembered d better days or d best days nd more to come… Thank u. and to you , ‘K’..if u see this, i love u

  • Deep Soul January 21, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Oh wow. How so very apt. Today is one of those days when I just wanna wring his duckfowl neck…..!! But reading this just made me feel better and I’ll take these words home “…so far we are still able to smile about something, we are good…”

    Because thinking about it, regardless of how upset at each other we get, there is ALWAYS something to laugh and smile about and to that, I am grateful; :)

    • Dr. N January 21, 2014 at 6:10 pm

      Lol @ duckfowl neck! Can’t even leave my own comment. Great article and recipe for divorce-proof marriages. drnsmusings.wordpress.com

  • Anonymous January 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    . . selfish, insensitive, big-headed chauvinist . .

  • merci January 21, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    think of the good days…. but when a man leaves u with only bad days then its time to move on.

  • Grown Woman January 21, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Nice one..

  • Yetty January 21, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    OMG this made my day relationships aren’t easy at all …..there are ups and downs
    Sometimes I just wanna leave and start over with a different guy but this makes me realize that no man is perfect !!!

  • Phibz January 21, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    Awwww…this just made my dad. My marriage was barely 24hours old and i felt like strangling my boo.
    Def gonna have this article in my head when next my temper gets the better part of me :)

  • Kryx January 21, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    Definitely on point! Been using this approach a long time and it sure helps, especially through some rough patches. Though, my friends keep teasing, that I like to console myself, but c’mon, after all “…couples matter, e no easy!”

  • Ivie January 21, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    E no easy truly,nice write up got me thinking too…:)

  • frances January 22, 2014 at 12:18 am

    E nor easy at all, but this advice is brilliant!
    Btw, lmao at duckfowl neck.

    imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

  • memoi January 22, 2014 at 10:14 am

    nice one

  • Grace Tsumbu January 22, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Now this is what i expect married couples to tell. So we don’t get into marriage or relationships with the wrong mind set!! it isn’t always going to be rosy but it will be worth it :) gracistsumbuli.wordpress.com

  • Ada Nnewi January 22, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    I needed this today….Thank You

  • Blessmyheart January 22, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Makes a lot of sense. Thanks

  • wachu January 23, 2014 at 11:31 am

    A wonderful piece

  • KRO January 23, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    i needed to read this. Thank you.

  • Miss Mosi January 25, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    And to think I tot I was the only one having a hard time in
    my rship *whew

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