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“Black knuckles, white body and black y**sh” – Etcetera’s Open Letter to Bleaching Celebs

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Maheeda

Maheeda

Different day, different person talking about bleaching.

Musician Etcetera is also a columnist for Punch Newspaper and penned an open letter to celebs who bleach. Here are some excerpts:

“The ABNC (Association of Bleaching Celebrities of Nigeria) is the umbrella body of all celebrity bleachers and we are responsible for every bleaching celebrity you see on TV and on the streets. We will also like you to understand that no celebrity bleacher will intentionally snub or refuse to shake hands with his or her fans. A lot of these incidents have occurred as a result of stigmatisation of bleachers by the public.

Why Some Actors and TV Personalities Bleach

On behalf of all celebrity bleachers, we the ABNC kindly ask for your forgiveness. You loved us when we were black and we sincerely ask you not to love us any less even now that we are light skinned. We also want you guys to understand that we celebrities bleach our skin so that we can lighten up your screens so you will never have to increase the brightness and contrast of your TV anymore. You can ask our Nigerian movie producers why they prefer us light skinned actors.

Dating a Person Who Bleaches

Our sincere appreciation also goes to all men out there dating a celebrity bleacher, we commend your patience. You have stood by them knowing you can’t take them to the pool because of their black yansh. And when they forced you to take them against your will to the pool, you still had to endure the fact that they got into the swimming pool fully dressed in their leggings, T-shirts and stockings. May you be rewarded handsomely for your stoicism and perseverance. One quick advice though, inasmuch as you may love your bleached spouse and want to treat her to different types of adventure, it is paramount that you resist every pressure to take her to the beach.

All Light Skinned Celebrities Bleach

Nigerians, please stop judging us by the colour of our skin. We will never be ashamed to admit to the public that all light-skinned celebrities are bleachers because this same bleaching has made us the most preferred in Nollywood today. It has made our ladies more desirable and more noticeable by Nigerian men. It has also helped some of our colleagues who were straight up ugly become attractive. That is why our motto is, Show me a light-skinned celebrity who doesn’t bleach and I will show you a local dog that doesn’t eat shit.

Uneven Skin Tone

We hope that henceforth, whenever you see a light skinned celebrity with pocketed hands, you will save yourself the embarrassment and kindly let him be. A celebrity bleacher with bad bleaching experience is like a dog with rabies and no sane person messes with a rabies-infected dog. We implore you non-bleachers to be more sensitive to the plights of bleachers. To you male fans who love greeting women with a kiss on their cheeks, please be advised to keep your damn kisses to yourself whenever you see those light-skinned celebs who love tying scarves around their necks. It is not fair to expose someone’s multi-coloured neckline to the whole world because you want to prove that you can greet like an arab.

And if you are a church usher who is fond of telling people to raise their hands up during worship, better stay the hell away from any light-skinned celebrity you see in church. Allow them to worship with their hands glued to their sides. We swear, you don’t want to see that armpit.”

Source: Punch

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