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Diamonds are Forever…Real love is worth more

Glory Edozien

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Engagement Ring - Source Neil LaneNow if you are anywhere within your mid twenties to late thirties you must be aware of the wedding mania that continues to sweep over Nigeria. It usually takes about 30 minutes for the newly engaged bride to be to change her status from ‘in a relationship’ to engaged on facebook, complete with a profile picture of her hand with her newly acquired ring.

But the sentiments behind the euphoria that surrounds engagements these days are not what they used to be. Gone are the days when ‘being engaged’ signified commitment towards a life of better or worse. Today, engagements are all about the size of the rock! So here is my health warning to all the unsuspecting young men out there, if you are about to buy the love of your life an engagement ring which she can ‘manage’ until your ruby anniversary, you might want to read this article first and think through your choice of rings carefully before you go on bended knee. Do not say I didn’t warn you oh!

Some time early last year my friend’s older sisters broke off her engagement to her boyfriend of 3 years – her fiancé of 6 months. His crime? He lied about the price of her engagement ring. Well lying might be a strong word, let’s just say he concealed the truth. The young man in question had proposed to his girlfriend with a ring that came in a Tiffany box. Now, you know how we girls can be. The newly engaged woman told all her friends the ring had been bought from Tiffany and Co and she still had the box to prove it. Her friends “awed” and “ahhed” and all seemed extremely jealous. Unfortunately, one of her friends, a jewellery connoisseur of some sort, spotted the fly in the ointment and was only to happy to point it out to the beaming bride to be. Furious, my friend’s sister accused her friend of being a jealous cow who could never be happy for anyone else but herself. And in her bid to prove her man’s worth, stormed over to the nearest Tiffany store with a few of her close friends only to find out the ring was indeed a fake. You may cast blame where you will, but the fact remains that the actions of all 3 involved in this story goes to show exactly what society has become.

To love and cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part have now been replaced by Tiffany & Co, Harry Winston and Cartier. Now if a man can afford to shop in such places, that’s all well and good but if he can’t, why force him to steal? The size of a man’s love is now measured by the size of the diamond on his bride’s finger. And the sentiments of unending love and commitment have become buried under the dazzle of exquisitely cut diamonds! But who can blame us girls, after all, we have been taught to believe that diamonds are a girl’s best friend and not our fiancé!

But let’s come back to reality for a second. Maybe it’s about time we begin to reevaluate our priorities and stop comparing our relationships to what Hollywood would have us believe. Perhaps it’s time we begin to take into account what’s really important and stop focusing on trivial issues. If a man proposes, it because he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. The size of the diamond is not directly proportional to the length of your martial years neither does it signify the quality of your prospective marriage. As an example, let’s examine the Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck scenario. After Ben reportedly proposed to Jennifer with a pink 6.1 carat diamond ring valued at over a million dollars. They didn’t even get to the altar.

I guess what I am trying to say in a nutshell is, we need to begin to value the immaterial over the material. Value the sentiments behind the proposal and prepare ourselves for the commitment marriage requires. Yes, diamonds may last forever, but marriages should as well….

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are https://www.canadianmeds4u.com/category/buy-antibiotics-online/ more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

27 Comments

  1. somebody

    April 1, 2010 at 2:56 am

    I like and concur. Gurl you’re on a roll…moreeeeeeee, moreeeeeee LOL

  2. Funmie

    April 1, 2010 at 3:10 am

    True, we “girls” have been brain-washed i agree…..
    but wat rubbish, why the heck did the guy have to lie about the source/origin of the ring?
    I am partly happy she broke it off with him because the dude might be lying about so many other things. Really! the whole proposal might even be a lie sef. Abeg we need anoda article informiing men to truly find themselves and be CONFIDENT b4 popping the question……

  3. bukky

    April 1, 2010 at 3:24 am

    ha!ha!ha…i cant believe you are talking about materialism…no be you dey talk say your future hubby must have car, house this and that…is real love not worth more that that too?

  4. Dith-H-P

    April 1, 2010 at 5:21 am

    WOW! What a dumb broad! It is one thing to be mad at him for doing something as foolish as that but to call off d engagement entirely? Really?? Was that all it was worth to u? Some darn Tiffanys??
    She must be an overly superficial chick which probably drove him to do that juvie ish in d 1st place.

    Ugh! love, relationships, marriage,—what is really going on? No more respect, no more value! It is almost all a bunch of facade with a price tag attached to it.
    The guy in question also needs 2 evaluate his self esteem. I can’t stand men who pretend to be what they are not. D amt of Naija marriages that hv failed here in d states is quite appalling,– all thanks to fake tomfoolery.
    Men who are taxi drivers and ish, go home, pretend to be mega rich, these “hustler chicks” agree to marry them, only to come here to find out d real deal and with the wind they are gone. But really can u blame them?
    D real u go eventually show so stop all d fronting—for real!

  5. ako mi ti poju

    April 1, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    sha…i’m still going to need a rock!!!

  6. reen

    April 1, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Bukky, am wit u.Is Miss Edozien changing her mind? i read ur piece on all d deliverables a guy must possess befor u accept his proposal; good job, sleek ride, posh apartment, should be able to impress u et al. my dear, they r all entwined(diamond ring and those). they are all material things. pls dont get me wrong, am in ur group but lets call a spade a spade xcept if we find someone who doesnt have wot we need, often times we console ourselves with “let me marry for love cos all that glitters isnt gold”(well, thats what we should candidly know before we marry anyways)

  7. Omoye

    April 1, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    Truth: the bigger the “rock” of diamond is, the “heavier” and sooner the marriage will crumble. It’s not my rule, it’s nature’s rule. However, whether big or small diamonds or rocks, above all, it’s the genuiness and faithfulness of the love and heart of the man that is proposing that matters. So, you keep the heavy Tiffany, I’ll keep my loving faithful man and prayerfully, enduring and lasting marriage in Jesus Christ name amen.

  8. sweetie

    April 1, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    ;)…..i like u jaare

  9. peculiar

    April 1, 2010 at 11:34 pm

    WHO SAYS I CAN’T HAVE IT ALL?? EVEN GOD DOESN’T WANT IT LESS? LOVE, THE BEST HUSBAND, A FANTASTICALLY BLESSED MARRIAGE AND SOME DECENT ICE? ABEG A “ROCK” IT IS NO MICROSCOPIC OBJECTS…
    PS- I CAN’T UNDERSTAND Y ANYONE THINKS THAT THE BIGGER UR RING THE MORE UR PROBLEMS, IF UR BOBO CAN’T AFFORD IT AND U LOVE HIM FINE, NO QUALMS!BUT DON’T GO JUDGING AND REFERRING TO GOOD BLESSED AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE MEANS AND TRULY LOVE AS DOOMED IN MARRIAGE! MYOPIC THINKING LIKE THAT BEGETS MICROSCOPIC OBJECTS O.. SOME HAVE ROCK AND CAN LOVE SOME HAVE LOVE AND CANNOT ROCK, I WILL HAVE LOVE AND I WILL HAVE ROCK, GLORY BE TO JAH JEHOVAH! NA GOD BLESS THE EARTH WITH ROCK BIKO AND I WILL ENJOY THE WONDERS OF HIS HANDS IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING AS I WILL IN HEAVEN..AMEN!

  10. peculiar

    April 1, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    P.S- AND ALL THOSE WHO CRITICIZED THE GIRL FOR BREAKING IT OFF, INCLUDIN U WRITER WEY DEY ADVISE BROTHERS AGAINST OR FOR US…HAVE U FIGURED OUT IF NOT THAT UR MINDS MAY BE WOPPED THAT SHE LEFT HIM COS A MAN THAT CAN GO TO THE EXTENT OF LOOKING FOR ATIFFANY BOX FOR TRASH HAS A QUESTIONABLE CHARACTER AND WILL DO WORSE????????????????? SISTERSSSSSSSSS? I THOT WE WERE SMART NOW EHN! AND HERE U ARE SAYING SHE LEFT HIM BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OR QUALITY OF RING?..MY DEAR IF U R READING THIS, SMART DECISION U MADE 4 U AND UR FUTURE..

  11. Anon

    April 2, 2010 at 1:33 am

    It’s neither yours nor nature’s rule. it’s a gross overgeneralization that you’ve made right there.

  12. silva

    April 2, 2010 at 2:52 am

    loool!!!!!!! everyone in the story is foolish… girls sha, bcos of jealousy, they set out to prove that the ring wasn’t actually from tifany’s or wateva.. am sure her friends ‘Gingered’ her to break it off…
    both of them should get their heads examined…

  13. silva

    April 2, 2010 at 2:56 am

    btw Glory i got a msg smtime ago from the f.bk group about writers and stuff like that, bt i deleted it by mistake.
    i’ll like to know the details again, like what e-mail address to send articles to and stuff like that…

  14. xto

    April 2, 2010 at 6:39 am

    please who knows whr one could get an affordable diamond engagement ring in nigeria,real reasonable price….pls

  15. Titi

    April 2, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Na wa for the friend sef. Even if she knew it was a fake Tiffany’s ring, she shouldn’t have said anything.

  16. Nneka

    April 2, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    You know I actually that about that. She may have left him because of his “questionable character”. This may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. It just doesn’t make logical sense that a (i believe) sane lady would break off her engagement for this isolated occurance. Like is said, only the two people in a relationship know the entire story. The 3 people involved here are a bit mentally-deprived though. This situation could have been better handled. Typical vainnnnn Nigerian brood *hisses*

  17. Nma

    April 2, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    “MYOPIC THINKING LIKE THAT BEGETS MICROSCOPIC OBJECTS O.. SOME HAVE ROCK AND CAN LOVE SOME HAVE LOVE AND CANNOT ROCK, I WILL HAVE LOVE AND I WILL HAVE ROCK, GLORY BE TO JAH JEHOVAH! NA GOD BLESS THE EARTH WITH ROCK BIKO AND I WILL ENJOY THE WONDERS OF HIS HANDS IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING AS I WILL IN HEAVEN..AMEN!”

    LOLLLLLLL!!! U r so bloody funny! I agree with u, let all man cut according to his size…if u have, spend it, and if u don’t do as u can! However, in reference to Glory’s example, some women really make it hard for their men to be themselves. The guy might have been okay with buying a ring he could afford, but we don’t know the kinds of hints the babe have been giving him…..even sef direct requests! Please don’t say the chick is right for leaving….the bobo might’ve been forced to keep up with the joneses depending on the kind of person his babe is….and going by the story, she seems to involve her friends in her businez jor…why would she take a group of friends to go verify the ring?? for wetin nah?! She made it seem as tho the engagement symbolizes less of the commitment and more of material value, and by her leaving just for that reason shows how shallow she is. period.

  18. avari

    April 2, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    ok my own opinion… im not a big “ring fan” but if i should wear one there must be something peculiar about it…if you cannot afford anything spectacular then dont go dig out a tiff box and lie… just give the ring. yea the dude is a questionable character but he might have just been lookin to make her happy but a relationship startin on lies????
    her friend should not have been so quick to let her kno her bobo lied cus now the babe will be mad and embarrased….
    and breaking up with him over something like this??? what if you had married him and this happened you wud divorce him, like i dont get…

    i personally will love a big closet filled with shoes as a substitute for my engagement ring but hey thats just me

    but the bigger ur rock does not mean a failed marriage….i mean how does that affect anything if you can afford to buy a harry winston custom designed engraved yellow diamond 5 carat ring…buy it…your choice…if you cannot please bariga has welders…

  19. Fab 5

    April 2, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    Oh please!!! Have U got any idea what the girl might have said? The hints she might have left? The pressure she might have given? The fact that she spent such an amount of time speaking to her friends and going to Tiffany’s to confirm shows the quality of her personality.
    If she was sane, she’d have called her bobo and asked for some sort of clarification before heading to Tiffany’s.
    Abeg she should go and hold a pillow jare. This man should go and thank GOD that he’s been saved from trauma. She might have made him steal in the future

  20. mariaah

    April 3, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    if d luv of my life can afford super uber-fab (as bella wud say) bling WTHNoT!!!buh am nt dat superficial blive strongly in “cut ur coat according to ur size… if u ask me, i ll actually prefer a small cut ring to them big ones shaa….

  21. duchess419

    April 6, 2010 at 9:37 am

    Firstly sha, Peculiar and Nma, yes o, that is my own too, i will have love and i will (well i do) have rock o, so please a real man should not do such questionable things, where did he find the Tiffany box sef. Na wa o, these yeye boys, if a man loves you, he will tell you what he can and cannot afford and truth is if you love him back, you will accept him for what he is. I should also say you dont have to take it that way if you think you deserve better, but most good men have potential and am sure once he hits that jackpot, ur upgrade is by the way. So ladies also, lets try and not show off our things when we get presents from man ehn, what am i saying, shoo, I do that ALL the time, except my own is alway on point, but the truth is the friend was jealous o, and that is why she was eager to have pointed out the mishap. A man should respect his woman enough to tell her, babe, I wanted a rock but i cant afford it so for now, dis one will do ehn? if not then Id breakup with him too, what kind start to life be dis one? lies, mmm next ting you are in a mansion and he says he bought when its rented, and the cars are on lease.. na wa o, please a lie is never a good foundation to start off with, it aint like you said your a size 6 when you are a size 10, that is not a white lie o. at all!! he deserved to be dumped, foolish man.

  22. Elle

    April 8, 2010 at 8:15 am

    I reject that generalization by force by fire… I have a sizeable rock and I shall be rocking it on our 50th anniversary. All haters to the left, please!!

  23. nonye

    April 9, 2010 at 10:37 am

    I find it hard to believe that the same Glory who wrote the article on a guy’s must haves before marriage wrote this one. Glory nne, sure u werent the friend who spotted the fly in the ointment??

  24. me

    April 20, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    calabar, it now very popular

  25. semira

    May 5, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    looool.i second that first comment.trueee our priorities are very wrong and it
    was extremely silly for him to lie like that but breaking up with him?
    dat was taking it a bit to far.she’s giving us the impression that she
    only said yes because of the size of the ring..good article dou

  26. omotoke

    June 3, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    I agree that women shd focus more on the affection and all but i dont understand why the man had to lie about the ring.it was so wrong. the gal might have accepted any kind of ring anyway, she’s not to be blamed cos every gal would love to have a tiffany ring.the only thing she did wrong was breaking up with him. if u ask me, d guy is the materialistic one.

  27. omotoke

    June 3, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    i just read all d comments again and i seriously dont understand why the blame is so much on the gal.for all u know, the guy mite have lied about so many other things like funmi said. pls pple, think about it, a man who lies about that kinda stuff is so wrong…..

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