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What is Your Strategy?



On our first day in a particular class, the course facilitator asked a simple question: “What is your strategy?” At first we did not understand what he was on about, but he probed further. “For those of you that are married, what was your strategy for getting married?” he asked. He began to pick us out one by one to try and find out our various strategies. No one could provide a ready answer until one of us, a smart Alec responded, “It’s classified!” The whole class erupted in laughter. The facilitator was highly amused but he had made his point.

It appears that some of us just throw the word “strategy” about without fully understanding what it means to strategise or have one. Simply put it means “to plan”. It is the steps taken to achieve a particular objective. So the question is how many of us actually have a strategy concerning various aspects of our lives? With respect to our education, careers, finances, homes, health, relationships and marriages, how much planning and tactical manoeuvres are we doing or making? “Tactical manoeuvres ke?” I hear you say. Yup! The word strategy has a military connotation and usage. Remember the saying, “All is fair in love and war”? Love is war and I believe everyone in love or who seeks to be in love, should have a strategy.

I had a friend in school, Omokay, who after meeting a friend and a new girlfriend, would jokingly ask, “Guy! Abeg, tell me the place where you stand for school, where you take see this babe?” it was a question he would always ask, but whether or not he was serious, it made sense for him to want to go and stand at that same spot to try to see if he too could meet someone like her! Really on the days I play relationship counsellor, I ask them the same question my friend used to ask: “Where do you go? Where do you hang out?”  Single women complain about not being able to meet (the right kind of) guys all the time. But like I say, have you tried making yourself available? Do you go out? And if you do, where do you go? Whom do you go with? Sometimes I even offer strategic tactics as to what they could do to meet the kind of guys that they preferred. Unfortunately, more often than not, they don’t take me seriously so…

Truth be told, for you to find love or be found by love, you have to strategise! Even after you have found love, or after love has found you, you also need to strategise to keep it! Women need to realise that men nearly always have a strategy when it come to things like marriage: a strategy to get married or a strategy not to get married… at a particular time or to a particular person! So it irks me whenever I hear things like “I’m a woman, the man is supposed to find me not the other way round!” Girlfriend you will so jonze! Statistically, we have been told that there are now more men than women inNigeria. So in other words the competition should be a lot less than it used to be, so how come some many women aren’t getting married? We could throw up a number of reasons for this, but the question I always ask is “Then how come all the event centres are always hosting wedding receptions every Saturday?” Call me names but I believe that the difference between the women saying “I do” and those lining up to catch the bouquet is strategy or the lack of it! Just ask the brides! In my little social study, I have found that although the phenomenon of single women is common to women from all Nigerian tribes, I find that women from one tribe in particular seem to have no trouble getting hitched. They get married to men from theirs and other tribes as well! From the interactions I have had with them I find that most of them had executed one strategy or the other! Now I know that some of you are thinking that I’m advocating that women chase men. Maybe, maybe not; but if you think about it there are so many strategies and tactics that do not involve running after a man or setting him up either. Be available, be a coquette, be smart, be dependable, offer some sort of value; take risks, believe in yourself and have lots of faith. Make a plan, strategise, execute the plan, and if it doesn’t work, have a backup plan! And oh yeah, not having a strategy is also a strategy…. a strategy for failure.

Strategise based on your strengths, work on your weaknesses. For instance, my friends used to say that I lacked approach – for some reason I could be shy around women I didn’t know; however, they all marvelled at my follow-up tactics, because once I had found common ground for the basis for an introduction, I would follow the babe up like my life depended on it.

So don’t just limit your strategic thinking to your career or finances, almost everything in life requires some form of strategy. You can’t afford to just plod along hoping that somehow things will just fall into place. You must strategise! And no, not all strategy is “evil” or “manipulation” as some people have argued. Go read The Art of Seduction. Meanwhile, I had better go talk to Oscar about how I can get a show or guest-appear on 92.3FM….

 Photo credit:






  1. Kunmi

    September 30, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    You have a strong point, but I think it makes the whole ‘dating game’ seem emotionless… But thats just me.

  2. cinderella

    September 30, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Awesome write up, valid point! I need to start strategising.

  3. HoneyDame

    September 30, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    I agree with the concept of strategy. My sister and I always discuss how we seem to attract only some “types” of men. We soon realized that the type we coveted wasnt within our grasp, we would have to totally compromise on our personalities. So we made peace with ourselves and while the coveted ones are considered “not dateable” for us, we know precisely the things to do if we change our minds…it is a process…
    Now, i cant wait to read all those marriage-bashing feminists….
    Read my fingers…….He {TJ} isnt talking about the females who dont want to get married/be in a relationship with a man, he is referring to those who want to but seem to be doing something, sheath your swords.

    • Missy

      October 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm


  4. Hawt Nerd

    September 30, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    O setiala…fuzianu strategies *jets off*

  5. Temi

    September 30, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Nice post!

    I believe a woman should be found but not necessarily whilst seated home watching TV. You do have to strategise but as I have seen and heard, no matter the tricks in the book and all the rules of relationship you follow, if it won’t happen, it just won’t. The point is ‘which strategy’ you employ. Is it through man’s wisdom or accepting that you really don’t know much and trusting He who does? Man’s wisdom will fail because standards keep changing and the goal post keeps shifting so how can you score. What always stays constant is God’s ways.

    It is one thing to read and practice the ‘Art of Seduction’ and be successful in getting that guy but as you noted, it’s another thing keeping him and YOURSELF happy. It is for the purpose of attaining this that we should strategise The Number 1 strategy for this is through the grace of God. Nobody has any rules that is foolproof. Only God can help one.

    So whilst the women of ‘that tribe’ might be getting all the guys, let’s also wait for about 8 years and see how well they’ve kept them before saying the bouquet catchers have really carried last.

    Now to your actual question, my strategy would be something like this:
    Embark on knowing myself more so I can understand what I can and can’t deal with and who I can or can’t live with.
    Know my destiny-God’s purpose for me
    Pray that I meet someone in whose life I will be a blessing and who will bless mine too
    Stay busy going about God’s will as I wait and trust that He is working it out

    Let the feeling of ‘time is running out’ leave us as women. No use rushing in and then rushing out or worst still, enduring a loveless abusive marriage because ‘what will people say?’.

    Excuse my epistle. I tend to write a lot…

    • A.k

      October 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm

      you are very wise 🙂

    • sweetie

      October 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

      This is the smartest thing i have read so far , thanks for sharing Temi

    • hanat

      October 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

      I’ld have to admit that i think you are an experienced young lady who has had her own share of ups and downs with relationships . Your comments are always inspiring. Keep them coming.

    • M

      October 2, 2011 at 7:54 am

      You couldn’t have said it any better! Few have the wisdom God has bestowed on you. Rock on!

    • ify

      December 2, 2011 at 4:47 pm

      Temi, I’m so in love with your piece. No one has the key but God. Thank you so much and keep up the faith!

  6. Natoday?

    September 30, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    u r talking to me! lemme start now. excuse me?

  7. AJCiti

    September 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    At this point in my life, I’m not looking for a serious relationship or husband/ marriage… I still have to finish school and realize some of my other goals and dreams. Am I still supposed to have some sort of strategy to find a husband right now?

    It’s weird because although I’m not looking for a serious relationship, I feel like a lot of the men I’ve been meeting lately are looking for such (does that happen to anyone else?).. most of them are actually great people, too bad I’m still not interested…sometimes I think I should probably settle down while the offers are still rolling in but I’ll take my chances lol.

    I think for women who are serious about finding a good partner you need to carry yourself well and that includes your behaviour. I’ve noticed that a lot of women have bad or “off” behaviour that not only pushes men away, it’s unattractive to other females to be your friend as well. This whole notion that women are equal to men and you can do whatever and act however is just not conducive to finding a husband– sorry to burst your bubble. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be yourself and be free but sometimes it’s good to tone things down a little.

    Also, I find that a lot of women who can’t “find” a good man are too complacent in their current routine, they’ve been in the same social circle for years and there’s just nothing new there. Shake things up a little, travel, hang out with completely new circles of people and be OPEN and approachable…ya, that’s my 2 cents, thanks for reading :-).

    The End.

  8. lafunky

    September 30, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    I like. Thank you.

  9. jazmyne

    September 30, 2011 at 4:37 pm


  10. jazmyne

    September 30, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    nyc write-up

  11. Twix

    September 30, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    Succeed Delibrately!……

  12. Hmmm

    September 30, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    I thought this article was about making a success of one’s life in the corporate/entrepreneurial arena. My mistake!

    • Purpleicious Babe

      October 2, 2011 at 9:58 pm


  13. Ibb

    September 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    deep…thanks T.J!

  14. Naija girl

    September 30, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    I love this article, its time for women to go get what they want….there’s nothing wrong with doing a little shakara but omo if u like the bobo, position urself correctly to be approached or make the move…

    P.S: I would love to read an article about friends and relationships (whose advice so you take when u and ur bobo quarrel)…and also dating ur friend’s exes.

  15. hemma

    September 30, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    Good write-up…..we all need plans, but sometyms u know our plans dont work out the way we want it….so wot do we do???

  16. Aibee

    September 30, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Hmmmmm. This had me pause for a few minutes. Strategy! I admit I haven’t paid much attention to in the past. I guess that explains why I’m not all the things I dreamt I will be at this stage of my life. Henceforth, I shall strategise. Starting with my plans for a career change and followed closely with keeping my man. This man I shall strategise for and that thin legged tiny lipped girl can go look for her man elsewhere.
    Thank you TJ.

  17. JoY Girl

    September 30, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Very good article for a friday evening when I am dolled up about to hang out with my girlfriends 🙂

    On a serious note, I do agree and have to shamefully confess that I do not have a strategy for “wanting to get married”, because I strongly believe it is outside of my control and influence. Different to a career and finances which one can control to a greater extent. Thoughts anyone??

  18. OK

    September 30, 2011 at 5:55 pm


  19. ebony

    September 30, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    am first……………….yay

  20. true_talk

    September 30, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    Word…well said. The key is being available. Even Ruth made herself available to Boaz. So being available doesnt mean you are labeling yourself as being desperate. Be at the right place at the right time. There’s also nothing wrong with asking God to show you how to strategize. Word of the day: “Strategy” lol

  21. Qutey...

    September 30, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    my strategy definitely involes praying n having God in my corner, while i look smashing n smile a lot….being approachable is key, also u must know exactly what u’re looking for…wen u see it u lure it in n lock it down! i’m happy wit mine…ciao!

    • baby

      October 4, 2011 at 1:57 pm

      Approachable is key!!true dat

  22. Sherry

    September 30, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Wow! wot a strategic writeup! At first glance i was tempted to ignore it but at a second glance, i found a lot of sense in what you’ve said. Hmm… i better start formulating a winning strategy! Very thought provoking.

  23. Maks

    September 30, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Really??????? What is all the pressure to get married about? We need to stop cultivating a culture of “you must be married to be complete”.

    • HoneyDame

      October 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm

      At what point did he insinuate that it is a must? We people need to take things easy sometimes. Let us not draw correlations where there isnt one.

  24. elflaco

    September 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    I believe that there can be evil strategies…. and pls ladies wen taking risks take the rite ones……..

  25. Zegzy

    September 30, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Am I the only one tired of men telling women what to do/not do to get married? This whole discussion around marriage makes me sick. There is more to life than being married. The amount of energy people put into finding a spouse, if only they could put half of it into being productive in something else, the world will be a better place. When the marriage happens, it happens. This topic is getting old.

    • Qutey...

      October 1, 2011 at 8:49 pm

      the topic wil never go out of fashion, live ur life around it…. in d meantime yeah u’re the only one…xoxo!

  26. Mary

    September 30, 2011 at 9:58 pm


  27. Glow

    September 30, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Be at the right place at the right time. And make a place right in your own way. . . . Approach matters 😉

  28. S

    September 30, 2011 at 11:02 pm


  29. Agape

    September 30, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    Well said TJ…

  30. Kayla

    October 1, 2011 at 12:28 am

    Smart write up and yeah true tok dude.

  31. Purpleicious Babe

    October 1, 2011 at 1:19 am

    My strategy is to do my part which is to work on myself and for God to do his. Which is to encourage me to focus on him and everything else will fall into place (happy smiles).

    I don’t know if plans/strategy will work for everyone in the singles department. Why: some didn’t plan their whatever and they found their partner and everything fell into place. Its depends.

    But, I do think if we do proceed to have a plan make sure that plan involves God which makes the journey much more faith oriented cos whatever happens u know God inspired u.

    Btw…. @ Jibs so all ur strategy has it worked? Have u actually found the ONE with this strategy of urs????

    To be fair, strategy or no strategy when it comes to meeting some1 it can happen in any situation.. U can go out, go to the right places, hang out with the right people etc, if ur husband aint there, he aint there. So my strategy is not to look but build up my prayer Bank and am not praying for him to bless me with a hubby (He has). Its a matter of TIME and readiness.

  32. JEGEDE

    October 1, 2011 at 4:36 am

    Great post. Interesting read

  33. mee

    October 1, 2011 at 4:59 am

    my question still is, where can one meet good-headed men in this Maryland,USA. I’ve crossed out church, club, wedding & workplace…lol !
    Nice piece, seems like all my strategies are at work or school, I rarely strategize (that’s not a word 🙂 ) in relationships, I just go with the flow,oh well, you’ve given me something to think about.

    • beau

      October 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      I thought I was d only one stumped on that one! If ya happen to find them b4 I do pls hook a sister up 🙂

    • Anna

      October 1, 2011 at 9:35 pm

      I advise you to leave if finding a good man is your priority. There are, both Nigerian and American, even European, but if you’ve been there long enough (2+ years), you’re in the collective pool and the dating scene there becomes boring. DC-MD-VA , at least the happening spots there, seem to pretty much rotate the same people. I lived in that area for 6 years, and the only guys I met were not the settling down type. And that was even when I could manage to get myself noticed, in the midst of more flamboyantly dressed, and more extroverted ladies. Just saying, find a course somewhere or relocate with your job. It’s what I did, and things started to look up – after a year, I (finally) started a serious relationship. Good luck!

    • mee

      October 4, 2011 at 9:12 pm

      thanks Anna ! best advice ever on that topic ! Most are not ready to settle. I have been looking to relocate but hearing from you now, I’ll start working harder to relocate. * hugs *

  34. damidarling

    October 1, 2011 at 8:14 am

    soo true…

    • damidarling

      October 1, 2011 at 8:16 am

      i hope people learn from this 🙂

  35. angie king

    October 1, 2011 at 9:36 am

    cool nice write up

  36. qhaycee

    October 1, 2011 at 10:17 am

    ok. Tj,nice article. I have been singing this song to my female friends but d look at me like i am cuckoo.

    • Tiki

      October 4, 2011 at 10:22 am

      lol, u can’t blame them na! Females tend to confuse strategising with scheming. One is positive and productive, the other is negative and counter-productive. To me, strategising is an inescapable step to assuring the achievement of one’s goals. Whether in life, love or salvation, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

  37. Tayo

    October 1, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Personally; this article was thought provoking for me. I agree that we as women especially should have a plan for any relationship we have; be it platonic or other wise.
    And I guess the key issue above is to also keep in mind that strategy isn’t manipulation.
    There are too many examples of women wanting to trap men, forgetting that every body is entitled to make decisions according to their free will. But the wisdom comes in being able to set yourself up as a compliment and a life partner to whoever you see yourself spending the rest of your life with.

    What a great article.

  38. A.D

    October 1, 2011 at 11:11 am

    What is your own strategy T.J, sure you asked, but mines’ ‘classified’, lool. I agree with you that not all strategy is evil or manipulation,, but its almost always mixed up! So people never have clear strategies cuz no one wants to be labelled evil!

  39. Funmi

    October 1, 2011 at 12:01 pm


  40. Linda

    October 1, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    Excellent piece!

    This is so true, in whatever area of our lives, we need a strategy.
    If I want to marry say a footballer, i have more chances to find one by spending time around the field than hanging with people far from that category.

    Thank you so! One really needs to take action, and believe so as to stop living by chance.

    • Purpleicious Babe

      October 2, 2011 at 10:03 pm

      Not necessarily.. U can hang out in the field all day and he might not even notice you..

      I mean spending time around the field?? doing what exactly?? Moping, watching, cheering??

      I know its meant to be an example but don’t get it…
      I’d say when most of them are playing they are likely to focus on winning/scoring not looking at a lady as that can be a distraction. But then again, some maybe looking to do whatever…

    • A.k

      October 18, 2011 at 11:49 pm

      very naive comment, very naive. Linda’s comment actually makes sense

  41. zahra

    October 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Geeze not another article about how single girls can find husband! abeg abeg abeg!!! Not a bad write up..if we haven’t seen similar already. I was hoping you were going to be a little deeper.

  42. Jane

    October 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    And when I read the title, I thought this was an article about having a strategy to succeed in our chosen careers. This obsession with marriage is getting ridiculous. The writer is simple minded and the article is based on the wrong assumption that all women are out to ‘trap’ men in marriage. You’d expect Bella Naija not to publish such a simplistic article but no…they just had to. Slow day, right? NEXT.

  43. kiki23

    October 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    @Bella Naija, would u please be so kind as to create a “Like” icon for comments so we can “like” whatever comments we choose? Thanks.

    • Twix

      October 1, 2011 at 3:21 pm

      Motion seconded

    • Purpleicious Babe

      October 2, 2011 at 10:08 pm

      I second that….

  44. missme

    October 1, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    And here i was expecting to be motivated by strategies for getting to the next level, another one of those ‘woman must find man’ write-ups? *yawn*. @bellanaija could you please publish more articles that have to do with individual growth and development? I have nothing against relationship issues and im sure you get a lot of feedback on them but surely there are so many other issues affecting we african women out there?

    • Honest

      November 2, 2011 at 8:53 am

      Shhhhh….. Did u read the title on the page before clicking?
      It says RELATIONSHIPS!

  45. izzy pizzy

    October 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Omo all this strategy sometyms no dey work jare, even those ones u think are really sweet and hot, dem sef get wahala. I believe the key is having God on ur side, i believe he is the one who can position you at the right time and right place , for your spouse to notice you. At this my age, 24… i hardly go out and even when i do dont get approachedby the kind of dudes i like, na to continue to dey fire prayer.
    Now i seem to have a crush on my 37 year old single boss.

    • ephee

      October 4, 2011 at 2:40 pm

      from ephee: u ar so correct , the ones available and begging to date u ar not the kind ofguys u like , the ones u like, it eida they ar engaged or one going tru the same thing but am still waiting for my prince charming. u can give it a trial, who knows. any thing can luv

  46. Eby

    October 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    loud yawn……. i’d soon write my own article about how guys should strategise to make themselves responsible, not committment averse and availabe. Then we can strategically meet them half way! shey we’d strategise to get them, strategise to keep them, strategise to make them propose etc etc sounds like manipulation an alot of work. Simply ask young women to invest positively in themselves (and by that i dont mean human hair), the gold fish has no hiding place, kpom kwem!!!

  47. tanonymous

    October 1, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    as good as his points sound…they only sound good…and wat does he mean about women from a
    particular group having strategy dats y they marry from different groups. d writer is a bit tooo simplistic abeg…who told him d girls from other ethnic groups are not finding spouses within their group and are not married to the others cos they just would rather stay with their own. Their men from certain ethnic group that most women in naija wouldnt want to marry…even their own women are running away from them.

  48. fortune

    October 1, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    The article is good, for those more concerned abt being in a relationship. However d writer should try widen the scope in order for strategies concerning other important areas of human development to be discussed. Anyways, thumbs up.

  49. Ahmed Maxwell

    October 1, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Indecency is the cause of delayed marriage amongs ladies.

    • Twix

      October 2, 2011 at 1:39 pm

      Not always Ahmed

    • Purpleicious Babe

      October 2, 2011 at 10:10 pm

      Really??? SO men are the ones decent?

      I need u to elaborate….

  50. simplyasking

    October 2, 2011 at 1:02 am

    Now, there’s one tribe that has no trouble getting married? How stupid a statement is that, and if you are bold enough to make such a silly statement, why don’t you go ahead to share exactly what ethnicity this is? Why must every discussion in Nigeria be reduced to ethnicity? Until we start making it a duty to point out these seemingly innocuous, but harmful biases, we will continue to turtle towards disintegrate as a country. Overall lukewarm article, but the one sentence rubs wrong

  51. alex

    October 2, 2011 at 6:34 am

    whar is the strategy then

  52. Woman

    October 2, 2011 at 7:01 am

    Marriage was the least thing on my mind when I found my hubby 🙂 A woman should learn to develop herself first, spiritually and physically. Strategies are for physical things but “marriages are made in heaven” at least that what we know. As for wanting to marry a footballer, lol, cool what if your hubby is an architect? 🙂 Well to each his own

  53. molarah

    October 2, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    Yeah right. So strategy’s the new plan, ba? You strategize to get a man to fall in love with you, to get him to walk down the aisle with you…and then what? If he turns round to start cheating or acting funny after marriage, do you have a strategy for that? Or where exactly does it end? My dear, any woman that takes this kind of advice is looking for the fastest way to run down (burn out). I personally get bothered when people advocate scheming and manipulation as a way of building relationships. How about women just making their best efforts to develop themselves and keeping it sincere and friendly with people they meet, and leaving the end results to God to decide? By the way, this whoe strategy thing is usually implemented by women with the most disgusting mission – trying to get a man that is already taken.

    • Cyber, Oko Alhaja

      October 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm

      Molarah, my dear, you have already advocated a strategy here:How about women just making their best efforts to develop themselves and keeping it sincere and friendly with people they meet, and leaving the end results to God to decide?

  54. Babe

    October 2, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    As much as I want to agree that the issue of marriage is over flogged in our society, the truth is that in this part of the world marriage will always be important, as such this issue cannot be overemphasized. However, I do believe that the starting point is always God. I can comfortably say many women who would have been married by now have been in relationships that ended out of lack of commitment by the other party. The issue is not always women and yes there are still women out there with morally upright values but how many committed men do we have out there? My suggestion is these articles address the issue of women, issues bothering on men should also be touched on once in a while. Many men out there are commitment-averse and that is a big problem that should be dealt with.

  55. AWEsome

    October 4, 2011 at 10:54 am

    @ simply asking, are you that stupid that you refuse to see what he’s really talkn about. what if most of the people he relates with come from THAT TRIBE and he believes they find it easier to get married does it mean that others have still not gotten married. it baffles me that most of you don’t come here to benefit anything but jst to argue and argue…mcheeew.very awesome post TJ. Strategising is the way to go. it does not rule out love but then it encourages us to presents both our strengths and weaknesses together with the right people and the right environment to get the man of our dreams…. 🙂

  56. Bamz

    October 4, 2011 at 11:45 am

    Hi TJ, I totally love this piece;it is so true. I am one of those women who belive that men are suppose to find me(not out of pride though); I am also not aggressive with r/ships.I play what you would call a clean game; no manipulations & no fights or anything I just give up if I aint getting what I want & wind up in r/ships where I’m with a man thats really not my type. I dont go out often & I have a somewhat boring life. I will take a clue from this write-up & have a strategy & also try executing it. Thanks.

  57. Aijay

    October 4, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Temi I love your comment and I fully support your opinion

  58. Kammy

    October 4, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    TEMI YOU ROCK!!! :*

  59. alexis

    October 4, 2011 at 5:42 pm


    I got a call from my mother today and she told me that her pastor said I was picky in my choice of men.I told her that he has no right to say anything about my life, in being picky I have 3 serious marraige proposals in my life the first one was from a semi illeterate, who on meeting the first time was demanding I marry him more or ordering me to marry him

  60. Cyber, Oko Alhaja

    October 6, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    For those who are not keen on getting married, then maybe, they can give this a pass.

    There is nothing wrong in having a strategy. Do note however, that the strategy to get a husband is completely different from the one you need to keep him.

    Having a strategy and Faith in God are not mutually exclusive, if you ask me. Even Ruth in the Bible had a strategy – given to her by her mother in law – of all people. Esther too had a strategy.

    The first question to ask yourself, is what type of man do you want? That determines the strategy to adopt, that also leads to the circle you want to hang around in.

    Accessibility cannot be overemphasised! There are very few men who like to be rejected – especially the serious ones. So while you should not be free for all, please have a smile and be ready to share a joke.

    Also ask yourself, where do you spend most of your time and who are the kind of people you might meet there.

    In the end, while a strategy is good – keep an open mind – great gifts sometimes come wrapped in dull packing.

    Cyber, Oko Alhaja

  61. Oma

    October 7, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Even the life we are living too is strategy,what works for A might not work for B,lot of us are confined only to wishing we had that perfect relationship/marriage we ve always dreamed of.buh aint ready to take the chances that follows it (STRATEGY)….buh not until we do, we cant get the job done

  62. anita

    October 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    is not about be married is about finding the right person that make you happy that make you feel like a real woman

  63. Jatropha

    October 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    Yep! If a woman is attracting only a particular group or caliber of Men,there must be something wrong with her strategy.With a little change,things might just work out for her

  64. BrownSugah

    October 13, 2011 at 10:34 am

    The funny trhing about love is that it comes when you are not even looking even if u’ve got the whole strategy mapped out in your mind. I’m sorry, it won’t work if it won’t and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I guess that’s just the way it is. So, so much for all this strategising and all. It will come when it will. I’m not encouraging anybody to stay indoors and all that but am just re-emphasizing that love will come looking for you when it will I don’t know about other people but that’s my candid thoughts and i do know what am saying……Peace!

  65. 'Misola

    October 19, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    The Art of Seduction… a must read!

  66. nita

    October 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    Hmm…I think I really need a STRATEGY sha

  67. bintex

    December 16, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    that word is ambiguous, to me it a way out.

  68. vicor

    November 23, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Life is what happens when we are making other plans. We cannot plan everything!

  69. Murikira

    December 28, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    hmmmmmm…. strategy? works but its only 90% of a guarantee. only decisions made out of prayer will run the whole course (100%) . trust me only God can properly match make but trust me that doesnt mean u walk around looking drabby and ugly with no make up and spend all ur time indoors….. erm thats looking for a miracle where one is not needed 🙂

  70. emerald

    February 12, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    this is interesting. but, please you don’t own any man’s heart.if he doesn’t like you,there’s nothing you can do.i’m sorry, but why didn’t the writer list some of the strategies.the ones listed above have been done by many women and they are still not married.
    in the case of ruth, naomi saw that boaz had been nice to her before telling her to go and lie at his feet at ladies be sure not to embarass yourself before a guy who doesn’t like you.

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