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Ofilispeaks: The Right To Sh*t With Dignity

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I recently downloaded the Nigeria constitution on my blackberry thanks to this nifty link. But imagine my disappointment when I read the constitution and found out that there was not an explicit section that dealt with a Nigerian’s right to shit with dignity. I know some people might think this is trivial or irrelevant, but trust me it is very important! 

Several months ago I was at the Muritala International airport. I had just finished checking in when I felt a sudden rumbling in my stomach. This normally occurred when I was about to give a speech or when the elastic capacity in my stomach walls had stretched beyond its critical point. Unfortunately it was the latter…I needed to find a toilet and fast. I computed in my head that I had about 20 to 25 minutes before my stomach would be forced to deploy its contents. This was enough time for me to run through customs, security clearance and customs again (if you have been to MMA you know what I mean). Unfortunately my perfectly computed time (plus with buffer) did not agree with my stomach, somehow I had failed to factor in the fact that pounded yam mixed with Egusi and Goat Meat created a much greater stretching effect on the stomach than other foods.

By the time I got through customs, the only thing  circulating in my head were the words “must find toilet now.” It was as if the local food lodged in my stomach was doing all it could do to stay in Nigeria. Fortunately after dodging the second barrier of customs agents, I was able to find a clean and vacant stall. I was relieved, cause it could have turned out ugly.

After ridding my body of the Nigerian food impregnating it…I turned casually to clean myself up. And that was when I realized my biggest mistake. I had not checked for toiletries, there was no tissue paper in my stall. I looked over at the opposite stall and all over the toilet but there was no tissue paper to be found (apparently they had been kidnapped). I was in a quagmire of shit, mentally and physically. What would I do? I took one look at my white t-shirt and proceeded to{edited due to graphical content}

This is not the first time something like this has happened to me or other Nigerians. On our long drives to the village we often have to make a dash to the bushes just to take care of business. No matter how rich you are…unless you own and RV or helicopter you are not exonerated from this.  I have heard stories of chiefs, business men, engineers that have gone through the bush experiment. Unlike our cohorts in some countries our federal roads are not littered with filling stations but rather bushes upon bushes upon bushes. In Texas were I studied for example, you can barely go 10 miles on a Federal Road without seeing a filling station equipped with a fully stocked Toilet.

So after hearing about the degrading experiences of so many other Nigerians and reflecting on my nightmare in Muritala Mohammed Airport I decided to do something. Thus, I began drafting an amendment proposal to chapter IV section 34  of the National constitution, which deals with our fundamental rights. My proposal is that every Nigerian should have the right to shit with dignity (I am serious).

I have been blessed with the opportunity to visit many airports in the world, Houston, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, NewYork, Baltimore and many others. At no time have I ever encountered a dearth of tissue paper, often what I tend to find is an abundance of tissue paper…rolls so big you could make a bed out of it. But this is not to say that all Nigerian airport lack adequate tissue paper supply, the thing is that I just have not seen it a lot. Even on the rare occasions when I see it they are being held for ransom by Tissue Paper kidnappers. Case in point my experience at the MMA (old domestic wing) in Lagos…were a lady was found hoarding rolls of tissue paper with a “something for the boys girls look.” Basically for you to use the tissue paper which had been provided by the government I had to pay up. This is for something as little and trivial as tissue paper at an international airport.

So I say if the government cannot provide tissue paper for its citizens at its international airport then how can we expect that same government to provide electricity for all its citizens? It is impossible! We have to start with the little things and call our government attention to it. Now I know an occupy the toilet movement is quite unsexy and would possibly die before it starts. But we should start demanding for the little things to be fixed so that we can create a path to fixing the bigger things.

Remember, every Nigerian has the right to good roads, electricity and water. But more importantly, every Nigerian has the right to defecate with dignity and for free. Let’s start fixing the little things today.

What we call little things are merely the causes of great things; they are the beginning, the embryo, and it is the point of departure which, generally speaking, decides the whole future of an existence. One single black speck may be the beginning of a gangrene, of a storm, of a revolution.

~Amiel, Henri Frederic

Photo Credit: http://www.gbooza.com/

_________________________________________________________

Ofili is an award winning motivational speaker, author, success coach and entrepreneur who blogs about life, success and entrepreneurial excellence. Follow him on BB pin: 32A137F8, twitter , facebook or subscribe to his blog for more success TIPS!” His latest book is titled HOW STUPIDITY SAVED MY LIFE, to find out how it saved his life click ofilispeaks.com/read-book

Okechukwu Ofili is a trouble maker, the author of 4 books and speaks at organizations that are tired of hearing the same old stuff and want the truth. He is also the founder of okadabooks.com and blogs daily at ofilispeaks.com You can follow him on Twitter or stalk him on Instagram You can also read his funny books on konga or okadabooks

89 Comments

  1. Thelma

    February 6, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Lmao!! i agree too. has happened to me…

  2. Brittany

    February 6, 2012 at 11:50 am

    I totally agree with your point. I can remember visiting Nigeria 3 summers ago and before I left my mum gave me two huge toilet papers. I was wondering why she was giving me but my mum said just take it with you. When I got to MMA i had to receive natures call and there was no tissue in any of the stalls. I was shocked and angry at the same time. Thankfully I had the tissue my mum gave to me. Now any time I go to Nigeria I carry my toilet roll with me.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm

      I wish my Mum could read this…she just let me go without giving me a heads up…lol..

  3. triangle

    February 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Ofili o! LMAO. True that. Even at Nnamdi Azikiwe airport it’s no different. Maybe I’ll undertake that as my NYSC CDS community project to stock all airports with tissue paper. Hahahaha. I kid

    • Ready

      February 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

      And another thing…is it that the plumbing in MMA is bad? Remember that the fountain used to work and the airport was usually pretty at night? Around August last year, I looked at my stall and realized there was no tissue..I asked the attendants if they had tissue and the blank stares were astounding…thank goodness for airport connections. I had to go into a bank and ask for tissue, after that, I approached the sinks to wash my hands..and surprise surprise, nothing came out of the taps. I was told one was working. I turned it on and it felt like the erratic drips of a little boy when you’re encouraging him to pee before bed. I got frustrated and left.

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      @Ready: You try man! Imagine if you were really pressed and had to go through all that!

  4. urbanshe®

    February 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Every Nigerian has the right to shit with dignity! This is classic!

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 5:14 pm

      lol…but it is true sha. If we can shit with dignity, then what else can we do with dignity.

  5. Tyn

    February 6, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Ofili, U never cease to amaze and amuse me.
    Beautiful write-up here… Had to share it on Facebook.
    Hopefully, the government will do something about ‘this right’.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 5:13 pm

      We can only hope so…till then we have to make sure we do not leave the house without our tissue paper.

    • Emarly

      November 5, 2013 at 8:42 am

      This is so funny and really gives us the true picture of a state that has failed even in taking care of little thing (tissue paper) a citizen could enjoy. I won’t be surprised that some big cats (predators) in this country receives toiletry allowance (fat gbemu) that could serve the whole Nigerian Airports. Even if some of our citizens do take these tissues as the case maybe, that in itself tells us something about what our state is made up of. The poor and the rich are guilty of this, the spirit of grabbing flows in our veins cos of what a lot feels about our country… our people go out and they see how things work elsewhere but they won’t do a thing to make ours better. I think we are too poor in all spheres of human formation, human, social, intellectual… d list is endless. Naija my country O! How i love thee

  6. its moi

    February 6, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    this seems like a laugh but its true. The little things we take for granted. i usually wonder what happens to the money taken for using the trolly at MMA? Thats still the only airpot i am aware of where you have to pay to use the trolly for your baggage. what is that mone used for?

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

      The trolley money is trivial compared to the price per ticket the MMA airport gets from the international airlines. Frankly it is inexcusable. I think the supplied tissue papers are getting stolen by people in the airport and being resold some place else…that or the contractor meant to supply the tissue paper is not doing their job.

  7. nita

    February 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    yea true talk , PHC airport used to have women (maybe janitors) that would give u tissue paper and ask u for ‘appreciation’ because they bought it with their money ( see bussiness) too much bullshit everywhere in nigeria, we need to rise and occupy nigeria

  8. concerned

    February 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    it has happened to me before oo. but for the little tissue i had in my bag, i would have been stranded. please we need that law

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

      I am drafting the constitutional amendment as we speak. I just need money to bribe some senators to take it seriously. Maybe Bella can help =)

  9. Ufedo

    February 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    that is soo true! give us tissues in Public places or install hand pumps as seen in Islamic countries so we can clean ourselves properly. Nigerian public restrooms are a disgrace even in offices.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

      Real disgrace o…I felt so bad after that episode. I could not look at my hands in the same way….

  10. Tiki

    February 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Lol! I learnt at my mother’s knee to take tissue with you whenever you leave the house, regardless of where you might be going to. I cannot tell you how many times that little pearl of wisdom has saved me!
    On a more serious note, I love how you used something as seemingly trivial as the lack of toilet paper which imperils our T-shirts (Eeww, BTW), to point to a bigger gangrene eating away at so many African countries. It demasks the nonchalance with which so many officials carry out their jobs (in checking that amenities are in place), the corruption of even the common man (who has a contract to provide toilet tissue), and the greed of those you would deem ‘downtrodden’ (eg the toilet attendant who would make you pay for government toilet paper in a public toilet). The ills which plague our society start as little inconveniencing traits which in due time, grow to be cankerworms to our existence. We need to attack the root of the problems, and the whole tree will come tumbling down.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:24 pm

      ” The ills which plague our society start as little inconveniencing traits which in due time, grow to be cankerworms to our existence”

      Well said Tiki…its the little things that will kill us.

  11. che

    February 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    LMAO. Funny but very true. I have experienced same too, but thankfully, I always carry an abundance of tissue in my bag.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

      Where were you when I needed you =/

  12. Purpleicious Babe

    February 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    LOOL.. too funny so how did u resolve the issue???

    I say carry tissue roll with you at all times ohh….

    On a serious note, you are right everything should be giving adequate preparation.. the lack of infrastructure in Naij right now is beyond comprehension.. 21st century ohh…. anyhoo, i will take surplus tissue with me to niaj and then relay my complaints to the customer service afterwards ( I am already anticipating “the so what do you I care look” this no be oyinbo country ohh, manage is manage). lool.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:22 pm

      If you have tissue you can make a full fledged business by waiting at stalls and selling it to people…its that bad. But credit to them, they have started installing portable ass washers at MMA. But there is still an absence of tissue paper…I think people are kidnapping that sh*t…

  13. Ayo Fashola

    February 6, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    LOL! Well done Ofili! You’ve done it again.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:19 pm

      Thanks Ayo…appreciate the comment =)

    • Ayo Fashola

      February 7, 2012 at 12:32 am

      Ofili! you know sometimes, forget even the toilet paper. Us girls have to deal with a sometimes just a grotesque bathroom. At least most of the time, you guys use it standing up. What about us babes? Bathroom looks like it eats Pine Sol for breakfast. I remember when I went to my cousins wedding in Lagos, I thought it was so funny how the highlight of the wedding was how clean the bathroom was. People were saying they would move in to the bathroom, set up shop. Make the second STOL their office LMAO. I almost died laughing. I was like seriously? A clean bathroom should be just a basic. I don’t know..maybe we have more important things to do than focus on having clean surroundings. Nigeria has house girls and house boys for days, but no clean bathrooms in public places. The Oxymoron! lol

  14. Jolz

    February 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    Tissues in public restrooms are basically non-existent in the most essential places in Nigeria….This is truly a basic issue that is constantly overlooked. Its like we have unconsciously embraced the concept of ’tissueless’ restrooms. smh!

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:19 pm

      Yep and if we cannot provide tissue paper in a federal airport how can we provide electricity and other resources for an entire nation! Crazy if you ask me.

  15. Dee-USA

    February 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    I try to use the restrooms right before I get on a plane because I’d rather do that than end up using the airplane restroom. On my way back after my first visit to Naija since I left, I attempted to do the same (just to pee) and not only was there no tissue, but the water wasn’t running through the faucet either. Don’t bother asking if there was hand soap. I am a bit of a neat freak so I ended boarding the plane and dashing straight into the bathroom before others had had a chance to use it. I had to have my hands washed properly. So my question is, where you able to wash your hand after your shirt-as-tissue business?

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 6:21 pm

      Yeah…fortunately they had running water…but I still felt dirty. It was more a of mental dirtiness versus a physical dirtiness. My new motto is to never leave home without paper!

    • Dee-USA

      February 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

      And soap? You can have tissue all you want, but you still need some soap.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 8:07 pm

      lol…thanks for the dual advice…I am going to stock up on tissue and soap from now on.

  16. JENNIETOBBIE

    February 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    lmaooo!! Amazing how we forget the little things when we become a lil bit comfortable. This was a rude awakening for me. Naija…we truly have a long way to go. It won’t be easy, but it is possible.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 8:07 pm

      “It won’t be easy, but it is possible.” amen to that

  17. Brittany

    February 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    It is funny how in Nigeria ensuring there is tissue in all the toilet stalls is a Luxury. It should be a necessity. It’s common knowledge, we don’t need to pray and fast or send a bunch of army or soldiers to make this happen. It is little things like this that make me angry about Nigeria. Toilet stalls should have enough toilet rolls, hand soap, hand paper towels, hand dryer and for an OCD person like me hand sanitizer and anti-bacteria hand wipes. If the govt cannot tackle this little thing then ensuring power supply is out of the question. We have to start from the little things first. It’s the little things that grow to become cankerworms.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      could not have said it better…it is the small things that we need to take care of. Hopefully somebody at MMA is listening.

  18. Qutey

    February 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Maybe its cos i’m a lady or cos i grew up in Naija n was trained to expect nothin frm any system by being in boarding skools, but holding tissue paper for me is like having my mobile fone on ne along wit cash in my pocket or purse…i got those n i’m good to go! pele, how hillarious!!!

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      Females are lucky sha…guys don’t carry purses so it is hard for us to store our tissue papers. You best bet is just to hold it….

    • iya oloja

      February 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

      hahahahahaha…can’t help imagining u guys holding the tissues…hehehe…

  19. Focus

    February 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    hahahahaha.. good one.

  20. kemi

    February 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    HILARIOUS!!!!!! luckily for me my mum has drilled into my head the need to ALWAYS have tissue in my bag

  21. tosin

    February 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Lol ooh.like this issue is a serious one ooh!it happend to me sometime bak and I was so pissed.for a big restaurant not to av tissue is a big wahala. Anyway, lesson learnt! always carry tissue

  22. BoomFlick

    February 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    OMg..lOL. I went to the SilverBird mall in Abuja and I knew there was not going to be any toilet paper but I wanted to surprise myself so I kicked the stall door open and peeped and lo and behold, there was none! I noticed one of the bathroom supervisors was hanging around there and so I asked her if she had any. The chic told me they had run out of it. Instead of her to help out she kept looking at my outfit and complimenting me. Some stalker sh*t! I got frustrated with everything and ended up not releasing that sh*t.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

      lmbo –> “Some stalker sh*t! I got frustrated with everything and ended up not releasing that sh*t.” <-- you just cracked me up! I almost sh*t my pants!

  23. BoomFlick

    February 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    I have also noticed that people take the toilet paper from the stalls and leave it soaking wet on the sink. That drives me crazy too! We can be inconsiderate sometimes. We cannot blame the government all the time. The people contribute to this mess too. It’s best to bring your own toilet paper with you. And men…should start carrying man purses because you never know when it will hit you.

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 7, 2012 at 1:02 am

      You are right BoomFlick. The main is that majority of the time we don’t even have tissue papers to put on the sink…it is never there…at least that has been my experience.

  24. rogotigi

    February 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Well said, I cn so relate to the ‘bush’ story…. had to do dt a couple of times during on of those LONG village trips *shrugs*

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 7, 2012 at 1:01 am

      The bush one is the killer…luckily I had to do it only once. I just wish we could get public restrooms on our federal roads.

  25. babycute

    February 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    haha very good point! I seriously hope someone takes this seriously, seems very trivial but its essential!

    • Okechukwu Ofili

      February 7, 2012 at 1:01 am

      That is the hope…only time will tell…

  26. Henri

    February 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    Nice one, Ofili. It’s amazing how Nigerians provide everything for themselves: water, security, roads repairs, electricity and tissue paper in public toilets … na wa o! It’s sad!

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      Soon we’ll have to provide our own roads and bridges…smh…

  27. omoibo

    February 7, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Dude, you are freaking hilarious……….Man, when #2 calls you can forget all the fine-boi or fine-gurl ish cuz it is not respecter of anybody. But seriously, when I visited 9ja a few years back & used the restroom @ MMA for peeing I couldn’t help but shake my head in disappointment that in this time & age we still don’t have our sh*t together. Great article mate…Cheers!

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

      “we still don’t have our sh*t together.” <– could not have said it better! I might actually steal this line…

  28. Truth Teller

    February 7, 2012 at 12:00 am

    LMAO, I feel you totally! Thing is you really don’t want to know how much would be awarded for “tissue paper”supply contract, that’s a gold mine for someone in the government. As simple as it seems, the price’ll probably be inflated by 500-1,000%, we’ve seen it happen. I do hope it’s taken seriously though in this nation that celebrates mediocrity.

  29. omoibo

    February 7, 2012 at 12:06 am

    On the same subject I remember visiting one of the UBA banks in Lagos while I was visiting & had a need to use the restroom. They had placed a bowl of water with a cup to use in fetching the water to wash your arse after taking care of business. This was in a freaking bank for crying out loud, at least give your customers the option to choose either dry run(tissue) or water-fall……lol

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm

      The thing is so embarrassing…a whole bank. How much is tissue paper…i just tire sef.

  30. Peace!PEACE!!

    February 7, 2012 at 12:42 am

    Dont leave home without the paper (naira and tissue)!!!

    Most people can relate to similar experiences they found themselves in. Its quite sad. I guess when you look at it from the “tissue kidnappers” point of view: whatever money they make from selling the tissue will provide a meal for their family. Sad but true. The government doesnt help. Until the government does more to help the poorer man, this is a problem that will persist for a while! Simples!!!!

  31. NNENNE

    February 7, 2012 at 5:03 am

    Perhaps tissue vending machines specifically made to be used with our currency should be installed in our airports; then leased to individuals to manage. Just as Mr. Ofili suggested, it looks as if people are kidnapping these tissue papers.

    • Ready

      February 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

      That’s a good idea. I mean, in most airports I’ve been to, the tissue in the restrooms are generally 1-ply (give an inch take a mile maybe, but we’re on the topic of sh*tting with dignity) If there were private vending machines for tissue like there are for pads in many countries, first it’ll be a groundbreaking thing. Second, we’re employing more ppl..I like how you think.
      Now to move on to water and soap or antibacterial lotion for cleaning hands after a visit to the toilet. I swear touching things in Naija public spaces like airports freak me out..imagine the pool of bacteria. Eeeww!

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      That actually (albeit ironically) is a great idea Nnenne! You might have something there. We might even have mobile toilets across the road that you can pay for. That way people can sh*t with dignity at a small price. And since legal money is involved, the toilets will be well taken care of.

  32. Sims

    February 7, 2012 at 6:55 am

    Be serious Okechukwu *rolling eyes*

  33. NUBIANWATERS

    February 7, 2012 at 7:43 am

    hilarious.com……Right!

    A very pertinent issue that seriously need to be addressed. I also find it baffling when you eventually find a public toilet that has got some, there would be a lady there trying to dispense whatever she deems sufficient for your business. *rolling eyes*

    http://nubianwaters.wordpress.com

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:26 pm

      Hey Sapiosexual! Nice blog article…found it interesting..glad to know we nerds have hope. Thanks for the comment and I do feel you on the tissue paper rationing. Crazy.

  34. nita

    February 7, 2012 at 8:37 am

    @ ofili i like d way u take time to answer each comment …. so guys next time u see a lady carrying a big hand bag dont criticize u have no idea what life saving kit she has inside… lol

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

      Next time you feel the urge…just ask a lady…that’ all…

  35. Vivienne

    February 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

    This articles just made my day…never experienced this though as I never try to venture into public toilets in Nigeria but you’re right when you say we should call attention to the little things. You can’t build a wall if you haven’t got bricks can you? Great article Mr Ofili.

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      Thanks Vivienne! Glad you liked it. Funny thing is that I once went for a TV show (international o) in Nigeria. Great facility and studio, but when I went to the toilet and I asked for tissue paper, I was told to use a bowl of water! smh…

  36. Traditionalbay

    February 7, 2012 at 10:29 am

    but seriously, ladies should stop using these toilet rolls for their monthly stuff, denying others the rightful use of it in the restrooms! their saving kit should include sanitary towels na.

  37. sara

    February 7, 2012 at 10:36 am

    omg this has happened to a couple of times. one tym ppl thought i was sick in the bus cos i was so quiet, was sweatin lik a goat and restless. nice write up. we have “the right to shit with dignity”.

  38. JGirl

    February 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Since we have no toilets on our highways and have to resort to using the bush, let’s just see it as our own way of going green by providing some manure for trees to grow…lol!

  39. Oma

    February 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    LOL.
    Mehn its no fun oh.
    It also happened to me at the airport.
    Good thing i hadn’t done the deed before i observed the no tissue situation.
    lol.
    http://lifethroughomaseyes.blogspot.com

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

      Lucky you…I was too pressed to look around before sh#@#$#

  40. Strawberry

    February 7, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    LOOL..i can soo relate 2 dis ..nice one Ofili

  41. Tobi

    February 7, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    This is the least topic i can think of and very important. Nice one!

  42. cathy

    February 7, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    HILARIOUS!!! anywhere i go i make good sure i have one tissue roll in my bag because this our naija ehn! get as e be o

  43. pynk

    February 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Baby wipes and hand sanitizer is a must in my purse.

  44. Nomy

    February 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    What i really really want to know is, how did you do it? You have to tell me what you did to come out of that place not stinky!

    • ofilispeaks

      February 7, 2012 at 5:49 pm

      That is between me and that t-shirt…but if you give MTN credit…I will tell you =)

  45. Queenbee

    February 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Tissue! always in my bag, if not I dont eat nonsense lol!!

  46. Vivian Elebiyo

    February 7, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Interesting article, worst thing that can ever happen!!! Happened to me at a pharmacy in Naija, I sure held that sh*t in until I got home. lol
    Word of advise: always travel with tissue or wipes.

  47. Blcompère

    March 5, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Hehehehehe! This is so funny but very true. Nice one, Ofili.

  48. jumysexy

    May 29, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    when i feel like having a shit, get the nearest toilet kick down the door (have a huge problem touching door knobs and taps), thats if the door hinge hasn’t been eaten away by termites! and check for tissue paper, if it isn’t there i bet the shit urge goes away for about 5mins while i find myself another solution. Shiting in the bush while travelling is most convinient and seriously i don’t care if anyone is watching cos i take a long hard shit,wipe my ass and i’m good to go. Basic thing, always carry a roll, box, bag or whatever of tissue paper around or end up embarrasing yourself.

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