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Saying “No” to Domestic Violence | Watch the Short Film “When Fishes Drown” by Soji Ogunnaike



A lot of people believe that talking about an issue over and over will not solve problems. We believe that with domestic abuse, we can never have too much talk about it. We need to let me people know that it is NOT alright to remain with an abusive partner (male or female). There is NO justification for physical abuse and if you are in an abusive relationship, you should leave.

There’s no universe where physical, violent abuse is any form of love.

This short film “When Fishes Drown” by Soji Ogunnaike highlights some of the issues surrounding domestic violence. Starring Tana Adelana, Seun Kentebe, Wole Ojo amongst others. The  screen play is by Soji Ogunnaike and Arome Ameh. The film was produced by Bamigbe Onasanya and one of the top ten prize winners at the Afrinolly Short Film Competion.

Watch the short film here:


  1. Sonia

    March 25, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Just in time as Linda just posted the rape case

  2. cynthia

    March 25, 2013 at 11:09 am

    So what do you do if you are already married with children when your hubby becomes abusive? Do you stay for your children or leave?

    • Bleed blue

      March 25, 2013 at 11:40 am

      Erm…leave please…I know it can NEVER be an easy decision but that’s the age old excuse some of our mothers gave “let me stay for the sake of my children”; thereby living a life filled with fear and regret.

      Methinks the children need a happy mother and more importantly a living mother. Lord knows when we were younger, we always prayed for my mum to find the strength to leave because we were tired of seeing her battered and bruised. Not to talk of the fact that we were also getting constantly battered and bruised under the guise of “discipline”.

      It’s not an easy subject. Soceity and religion play a big part in shaping our opinions and decisions…But I know I would leave, and would advise anyone I love to please do the same. Let’s stop finding all kinds of reasons to justify abuse or reasons to cope with it. If your man (or woman) abuses you, physically or emotionally, then this person does not love you. End of.

    • Peace

      March 25, 2013 at 2:13 pm

      Please Leave for you and your children’s sanity…. If he abuses you once, he will do it again

    • Meme

      March 25, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      Pls leave, i know someone who stayed for the children and ended up being killed! so pls, leave.

    • delaw

      March 25, 2013 at 6:51 pm

      Don’t leave without your children. Many men who abuse their wives turn around and abuse the kids after the mother leaves. Keep evidence of the violence and then get a lawyer or do both at the same time. The lawyer will help u either by going to court or negottiating custody directly but don’t leave your kids with an abuser. If u can’t take it, they really can’t take it. Also do what the elders did back in the day….report him to his family. Abuse thrives in secrecy. Stop hiding the bruises

    • Lyom

      March 26, 2013 at 11:51 am

      you leave!!!!!

  3. Nana Nasiru

    March 25, 2013 at 11:12 am

    my God! really sad! but then again, how do we intervene when most times the women dont want to be rescued, they keep making excuses for the men. its just a bit tacky.

  4. Omo

    March 25, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Excellent, on the issue of violence against women, I think women need to be educated , yes culture is very important but what if your culture is harmful , what if it makes you lose your life. it is good to stand by a man but if he abuses you in any form, bullies you then you have to leave. Stop this abusive circle of going back, a man should not raise his hands to anyone , a man who loves you should treat you with respect, sort our arguments reasonably via communication not his fists, not his abusive words …. Women please stop the madness, if he hits you once chances are he will hit you again and again and again.

  5. Bleed blue

    March 25, 2013 at 11:26 am

    Hmmmm…nicely done short film…heavy on the heart…abuse sucks!

  6. Stella Kashmoney

    March 25, 2013 at 11:39 am

    Nice film. Say no to domestic violence.

  7. Liz

    March 25, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    Nice movie.

  8. Retrochic

    March 25, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    Am in love with Seun Kentebe, right from his role as Ugo in dt Old sitcom by Kayode Peter’s

  9. Liz

    March 25, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Where can one report domestic violence?

  10. m.h

    March 25, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    Golf club you want to kill somebody’s daughter? Oscar pistoris

  11. dont mention

    March 25, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    wow…….very poignant piece with a very on-time msg……domestic violence regardless of who is on de receiving end of it should never be condoned………like someone said above, if he does it once, he will do it again ……..and please stop making excuses bf u r too late on dem n loose ur life instead… man or woman is worth that kind of stress to keep receiving abuse from dem, n it is not just physical abuse oh bc emotional abuse has been found to destroy people more dan even physical one therefore, no form of abuse is to be tolerated for anay reason whatsoever…….

  12. B!

    March 25, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    It brought tears to my eyes to watch this, being a victim myself. I use to think domestic violence only happens in film or to the illiterates until it happened to me barely a week into marriage we are both well educated,he’s a medical doctor, I myself in the medical profession finished from Ivy League university,I am beautiful,charming,well brought up and widely travelled. But you know what it does to you when a man raise his hands in you? You see your self less of an animal,I thought I was watching the movie of my life.
    And he keeps up the psychological and emotional abuse,anyway let me not go on .
    There should be a way to report this in Nigeria.
    Domestic violent not only hurt you physically,it leaves emotional and psychological scar as well and I want out because I can’t seems to forgive or forget it and one day if I don’t leave one of us will die,that I’m very sure of with the amount of hatred I have in me.
    Stop violence against any gender.

    • Temi

      March 25, 2013 at 3:33 pm

      My sister B. Please leave your husband as soon as you can. It was my male cousin who shared the truth about differences between men and women with my mom. He said men only learn from consequences, not being talked to like women do. Staying, crying , feeling depressed etc will only make a man think you are dumb and he will repeat it in time and beg for forgiveness again. Leaving is the solution. You can choose to leave now that you are still relatively ok, later when you are permanently injured in some way or in a casket when he kills you. You will leave one way or another. The choice is yours…

    • R

      March 25, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      God comfort you through this very difficult time. May He give you the strength to do the right thing and also to heal..

  13. d

    March 25, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    lovly piece. At least 2 an extent we all now no we shld report all dis domestic violence but pple donot no where exaclty2 report ownin 2 d fact dat our police force is kynda rubbish, dere shld also b awareness on agencies nd pple 2 report 2 dat wuld ensure justice is done wen dis violence happen.

  14. jane

    March 25, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    this remind me of my ex..the dude practically tied me up after beating me sef! I ran for my dear life ooooooo.. please ladies, any man that abuses you in any way be it physical or emotional is not worth it.No matter how perfect he seems to be, if he cant treat you like a queen.. please show him the door!

  15. Me

    March 25, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    nice film..
    Tana is so pretty!

  16. kaysass

    March 25, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    the production design is fantastic, the sound design is great, the sound mix marvelous nice job man

  17. Adetola

    March 25, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    Wowwwwwww Wonen pls be WISE

  18. pynk

    March 25, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Soji thanks a lot for making this moving. God bless you are you help us fight our battles.
    Women and men, let us raise daughters that can stand up for themselves, and sons that understand they should never put their hands on a woman.

  19. Me

    March 25, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    I think that a big part of the fight against domestic violence is in educating people that they don’t have to put up with it, there are people out there who wish to help. Also there are great charities like tecSOS.

    Good article though and great film.

  20. R

    March 25, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    Very good video and extremely educative

    We can never talk too much about the issue of domestic or child abuse sadly, because there will always be animals.

    What we can do is to continue raising awareness about the issue in order to encourage victims to speak up about their incidents. Speaking about it will also create a societal awareness that abuse is NEVER acceptable, regardless of the circumstance. Discussing this will also helpfully help create better laws & enforcements regarding child and domestic abuse.

    This video mentioned a distress call to the police which is great information to be made known to the public.

    Our families also need to be supportive of women in this scenario instead of saying “it’s not done in our culture” “what will people say if you leave” “it’s normal noww, ki ni aye o ri” and host of other lame excuses.

    We need to create a culture where the woman is always seen to be at fault, where it seems like the woman’s sole purpose on earth is to serve her “master”…

    There’s NO excuse for abuse.
    Abuse is a horrible thing and I wouldn’t wish it on the devil.

  21. Mama Put

    March 25, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    This really got to me! I love all these awareness videos.

    But I think an imperative part of this is getting lawmakers, governors and police force involved. There needs to be laws against domestic abuse, spousal abuse and rape because many men believe it is fine for your husband to beat you and it isn’t!

    That lady who was beaten to death last year, allegedly ran to a police station once and told them what her husband had done and they laughed at her and said “madam. Go home and beg your husband! That one nah domestic matter”

    We need people like Gov Fashola, influential people to partner with these initiatives and make it a national campaign and reeducate the police on these types of cases and how they MUST take EVERY single case of domestic abuse seriously.

    Otherwise, we will keep going round in circles because when this happens, who does one call? Especially the common woman on the street with no access to Bella naija or Internet and no friends in high places!

    We need to get these governors, presidents and lawmakers involved so they make it a nationwide issue because a lot of men believe that this is normal. My ex once twisted my arm in front of his house and was threatening me, there were security guards there who knew me and they asked us to please go inside and handle “our matter”. As this video says in the end, until we get people to understand that domestic violence is not the couple’s matter, we can’t change anything. We need people to be grieved by this and get involved as opposed to asking you to keep your business private.

    For every woman suffering abuse and violence in her marriage, home or relationship, I am sorry you have to go through such hell but it doesn’t have to continue! GET OUT NOW!

  22. Arome Ameh

    March 25, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    I am so humbled that our work is being noted,and people can relate to it,more to come,thanks for the kind comments

  23. Arome Ameh

    March 25, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    Pls leave,ur life and that of your kids are much more important than trying to change an abusive spouse,read my blog for more information on abuse,you are not alone.

  24. OmoMakun

    March 25, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Thanks for posting this Bella Naija…i watched this last month I thought it was a great short film. This is what happens in our society today and I pray that people will start speaking up and get help before they end up in the grave

  25. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 12:15 am

    As as i knew what would fly out of her mouth”i love him”.To blazes with love o.Any man that raises his hand on me even during courtship,that’s the end!

  26. ibukungeorge

    March 26, 2013 at 12:23 am

    as if *

  27. SEYI

    March 26, 2013 at 2:38 am

    Men get abuse too. I am an example. with broken tooth and finger. Should I leave or stay with the same woman in the name of christianity? Or should I leave my children fatherless by leaving? It is humiliating! and I am assume to say it. My children do see it happen at times

    • Ms lala

      March 26, 2013 at 3:53 am

      seyi my dear leave…leave for your children and feel free to take those lovely kids with you. no woman or man should ever have to lay hands on their spouse and kudos to you not striking your spouse back. God will see u through my dear. but am afraid u will have to help God for him to help you but taking your kids and leaving…my aunt killed my uncle after abusing him and finally poisoning him..hate can be a powerful tool…and yes men are victims too i feel for you. if you are living abroad contact an attorney and get all legal documentations to protect u and your darling kids.

  28. Shadylaj

    March 26, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Women, love is not violent so it cannot be love when he hits you. Speak out, seek help. Men like to do the shit and we still cover it up for them. Trust me, when you seek help, he will sit up. May God teach us to be wise in our decisions.

  29. alzee

    March 26, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    it is equally important to note dat any guy who beats u small or threaten to do dat during courtship will not change when u guys are married but wuld eventually grow worst since he now sees u as “his” piece of rag. May God help Us.

  30. Soji Ogunnaike

    March 27, 2013 at 6:37 am

    Thanks to all and the admin of Bella Naija for sharing this piece. Feel free to share for free. It is an advocacy material.

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