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Must Watch Video! Nigerian Media Personality Toke Makinwa speaks on the “Common Beliefs about Interracial Relationships”

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Toke Makinwa - June 2013 - Vlog - BellaNaija

It’s time for another fun edition of Toke Moments! On this week episode of her vlog, Nigerian media personality(/relationship guru) Toke Makinwa speaks on the common beliefs about interracial relationships.

From “Hmm… I don’t trust girls who date white guys” to “I can only date Igbo boys, Yoruba boys can’t be trusted”, Toke speaks on the pros and cons of relationships.

Check it out!

70 Comments

  1. Godslove22

    June 13, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    Agree with Toke on this topic……Well explained

  2. pynk

    June 13, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    But Toke why address this particular topic? Do we really have experience with interracial dating in Nigeria? Not really, interethnic maybe. I am actually biracial and i dont see a lot of the stuff she is on about. People marry for different reasons – be it pali, paper, some pple just dont want black kids, love – etc. And the misconception that white men are this and that- my father who is Nigerian actually did a lot of the “getting the kids ready” type stuff. It comes down to individual bearings jare.

    • Awaiting Moderation

      June 13, 2013 at 3:46 pm

      Thank you o!

    • Tosin

      June 25, 2013 at 2:53 pm

      I was thinking the same think. We definitely have more interethnic relationships than interracial relationships. I think her video was rather vague and only prefer to listen to people who have had history dating on both sides of the spectrum. Plus, she didn’t take into consideration that most Westerners are conditioned to act like that because it’s socially acceptable. Her reference of the assumption of using jazz in an interracial relationship is proof that it’s more of a cultural stigma and therefore still unacceptable.

    • Naija4life

      July 14, 2013 at 4:05 am

      Everyone speaks according to what they are exposed to. The fact that it isn’t your experience doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist even if you are biracial. I found it very hilarious with a lot of truth.

  3. Positive

    June 13, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    Why is this a ‘regular’ feature on BN? She deh pay wuna for publicity? You should know better BN.
    Please take note & do something! Your regular readers do not like this ‘intrusion’.

    • Tiki

      June 13, 2013 at 1:39 pm

      I’m regular, and I like it. Move along please.

    • Person

      June 13, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      I am REGULAR. I like it too. Now, you can have one of these: \_ \_ \_.

    • jcsgrl

      June 13, 2013 at 2:33 pm

      abeg commot for road make we watch video..mcheeeeeeeew #chewingchewingstick

    • hot mama

      June 13, 2013 at 3:03 pm

      who crowned u obibi ochaze 1 of bella’s regular readers ehn?!!! speak for urself abeg….i wonder why u even read the post when u could have simply ‘walked on by’..

    • BellaNaija.com

      June 13, 2013 at 3:19 pm

      @Positive.

      Thanks for your comment. We love Toke’s weekly videos as it consistently ranks as one of the most viewed posts when featured. We understand that we all have different tastes and preferences, therefore, not everyone will fancy everything posted and that’s ok 🙂

      In reference to another comment, absolutely no payment is received for this post and most creative content on BN. All sponsored content is clearly marked as “sponsored content” in line with BN’s ethics policy.

    • NOKSIS

      June 20, 2013 at 11:47 am

      Thumbs up bellanaija.

    • laide

      June 13, 2013 at 9:46 pm

      sweethrt..BN is not paying u 2 to REGULARLY click on the post..ahh!

    • caretaker

      June 13, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      I am a regular and i love it, in fact i look forward to it weekly. if you think its an intrusion don’t ever click her link again rme.

    • daisy

      June 14, 2013 at 9:55 pm

      OH SHUT UP………44COMMENTS NA BEANS? SHES INTERESTING N ENTERTAINING. SHIFT PLZ

  4. nene

    June 13, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    i’m biracial, but i i agree with @pynk, nigerians don’t really have much experience with interracial dating. expatriates just come here, get married (some of them even have wives in their country), and when they leave nigeria, they leave their wives in nigeria again. my mum and dad are both mixed race, so their case is different. but most interracial marriages in nigeria is not genuine, some people want papers or mixed race kids or oyinbo husband.

  5. Jessica Williams

    June 13, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    Hi Toke, your mindset needs to be improved. Not all black women who date white men are bad. It is women like you who confuse men and the society.
    We are all one. God’s children. Culture, tribe and color of the skin don’t matter.

    • Person

      June 13, 2013 at 2:16 pm

      Did you watch the video at all? :-/

    • hot mama

      June 13, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      Hey Jess, please watch the video again and while you are at it…LISTEN ATTENTIVELY..cheers!!

    • laide

      June 13, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      you were definitely thinking of something else while watching the video….wats the problem..pls share

    • Ijeoma Dike

      June 15, 2013 at 11:59 am

      PLs you need to listen to what Toke said, you are misunderstanding the message. General statements were said of what people think not Tokes thought process. Get with sweetie

  6. Mz Socially Awkward...

    June 13, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Inter-racial dating… *deep sigh* A girl knows her mother is getting desperate to prescribe Asoebi colors to her friends when phone calls to said mother have started going in the direction of “So…. What about any of the non-Nigerian men around you? I honestly don’t mind if you decide to settle with a white man…”

    Although na d same momsie wey go immediately qualify her acceptance by adding “But you know these oyinbos, they can just wake up one day and say they don’t love you anymore”. All part of the stereo-typing Toke is warning against 🙂

    I dunno, have to admit e go hard me particularly on the cooking food and sharing gist aspects of the relationship. Bros gotta eat stock fish, mehnnnn. And e get one lanky Oyinbo bros I been dey give one kain eye to for this office (even dreamt he kissed me… & now I’ve shared too much wt y’all) but… I no sure say I get liver to jump into uncharted waters.

    Saying that, loads of my friends ended up married to Caucasians and I’ve seen the unique synergy they’ve applied in their relationships. One started dating her boyfriend in Naija before they relocated for fear of kidnappers and I had to hail the liver she had in enduring all the stigmatization in Port Harcourt. The others met their men in “the abroad” where I suppose the stigmatization operates in reverse…

    • Susan

      June 13, 2013 at 2:35 pm

      My cousin’s husband is Norwegian. Her husband’s favourite food is now Amala gbegiri and ewedu. I am not joking. I know because I have made it for him many many times. I swear that man is a reverse coconut. White outisde black inside. The speed in which he integrated with his in-laws is amazing. He is such an incredibly warm human being and he loves her die. He loves our food, he wears our clothes, he has picked up our mannarisms and some slangs. Their house in the US is open for anyone who wants to visit. He only has one sister and his parents were only children, so he loves that his wife has a large family, because he never experienced it. My cousin worked on the oil rig in 9ja b4 they moved to the US, too much money than she knows what to do with, all dem 9ja bobos were intimidated and her workload they couldnt adjust too. She met her oyinbo bobo via work and they have been married now since 2005. He worships the ground she walks on i swear and we ALL love him. For my sis’s wedding, both of them came with their gorgeous kids and he wore aso ebi with us. My other cousin on the other hand is married to an english man, i have never met such a cold fish tight upper lipped man in my life before, and i live in england, that is saying something. We can’t help but compare the two of them and she doesn’t like it but she can’t help but notice that her husband is so uncomfortable around us and our family boku plenty plenty. England is our second lagos. We just ignore him and she comes to us instead of us going to her house. So you see i have personal experience of both attitudes. We should not generalise, it depends on the person.

    • Tincan

      June 13, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      Reverse coconut ahahaha, that was funny….

    • Lily

      June 13, 2013 at 9:32 pm

      Very funny,quite an opposite

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      June 13, 2013 at 10:30 pm

      @ Susan & Hotmama, “tenks” for the advice, sistas, I should keep an open mind abi? Na to seriously ask myself whether the qualities I dey find are located in the man (white skinned or dark skinned) and then maybe compromise on the stockfish issue 🙂

    • hot mama

      June 13, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      loooool….be careful what u dream of hun for e fit come to pass ooo…i wont be surprised if my guy sef don dey eye u….too bad say he no go appreciate d stock fish..lol

  7. BabyDee

    June 13, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Atoksy mama, you no chop before you record this video? The thing is boring na ahn..ahn…
    Anyways, you forgot to mention what happens when you try to break up with an oyinbo man; they chop you into nice pieces and store you in the deep freezer!

    -BabyDee

    • Sed

      June 13, 2013 at 2:19 pm

      LMAO!! True…

    • Bea

      June 13, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      Lmao @ chop you into nice pieces and store you in the deep freezer! Do you watch a lot of Criminal Minds etc lol?

  8. Chenney

    June 13, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Positive if you don’t like her vlog, its only sensible that you don’t come out here to tell us how BN regular readers don’t like the intrusion, besides you clicked on the link yourself and for your information, Toke is a full time media personality and not a lazy girl who don’t know what to do with her life. do yourself and us as well a favor by not coming here again.

    • Titi

      June 13, 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Why can’t people like you allow others to express their opinions?!!! So it has to be positive feedback or nothing? Please live and let live..

  9. Toke!!! I have a crush on you.

    mytestimonys.blogspot.com/

  10. slimshady

    June 13, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    @ BabyDee, Yes o! she forgot to mention the chopping up part if you want to break up with oyinbo. Only in my cousin’s case, he not only stabbed her to death, but their two children as well!

    Only read/hear about it in the papers and news before it happened so close to home and it really sunk in.

    My cousin’s case and many others is what i remember when i think of dating/marrying oyinbo. At least naija man will leave me alive for my mother if i say i no do again. (Come to think of it, recently some naija men are now on cheap drugs killing their wives/girlfriends)

  11. Madumere Chidiadi

    June 13, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    I just love Toke. I personally would choose a brother over an oyinbo guy my sister. I find them irritating. The only exception is if they are mixed.

  12. Dee

    June 13, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    I am presently dating an African American here in the US and I am so loving it.He is so romantic and cute.He has tried Joliot rice so far and he enjoyed it,now I am thinking of the next Nigerian meal to make for him that won’t scare him,lol.He likes to watch Nigerian movies with me,he specifically asked me to get them so we could watch together.He drives 4hrs to and fro to see me bc we are in different states.I am just praying that he should pop the question soon,we are both in our late thirties so no time wasting here please.

    • deltachik

      June 18, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      Sweet, but be very careful of them, most African American men are ridiculously sweet today, and turn into devils the next day…just saying, seen too much.

    • Tim'tim

      June 20, 2013 at 8:51 pm

      GBAM! U R VERY RIGHT. AFRICAN AMERICAN GUYS HMMMMMM…… ALSO TOKE I INITIALLY THOUGHT U WERE TONING BUH NOW AM CONVINCED U BLEACHING. HUNNI PIPE IT LOW ON THE CREAM ABEG. ONE PART IS WHITE WHILE THE OTHERS ARE TURNING INTO WHITE GRADUALLY. U WONT LIKE YOURSELF BY THE TIME U TURN FORTY. SO PLS CALM DOWN, ODIKWA THREE MUCH. SKIN CANCER IS INDEED REAL….. BLESS!!!

  13. Jade82

    June 13, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    @sLIMSHADY sorry to hear about ur cousin’s case that’s really sad.
    These days 9ga men are becoming crazy where if they can’t have u no one will. All those that go out pouring acid and/or killing their wives please just leave the person alive and waka.
    As per Toke’s video i agree with her to an extent, but all the same people should choose their partners carefully because ‘things they happen” for this world. I will say it all depends on the relationship and mindset of the person u marry. Whether oyinbo or black, na how una get along sha.

  14. Titi

    June 13, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Sorry but I really dont understand why there is always a photo of her fully dresses up when these videos are released. Is she advertising herself or what? And, the hair has become ridiculous. Looks soo fake all round! Less is more………

    • Sandra

      June 13, 2013 at 6:42 pm

      Were you expecting her to wear a Jellabiya or go in her birthday suit for an event.

  15. kathryn cage

    June 13, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    I always watch Toke’s videos and i love them. To that person asking if she pays Bella naija, abeg shift, there are other things you can focus your attention on on this blog.

  16. slipnslide

    June 13, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Oh MY WORD! I don’t want to call this girl names. This is the last time I will click on her videos.

    Even though, all attempts were made to end with a sanctimonious brief rant at the end. Her opinion is very clear and she is quite ignorant. Question – has she met all the oyibo men in the world, this one that she can say with certainty that they might not cheat but they will not stay with you for the children? This infuriated me to no end.

    My guess – she is with a black guy right now that is a party animal and denies her the love she wants and she tells herself it is because that is how black men are and the friends she has who are happy with their men risk divorce after 8 years.

    By the way, can I add that being African is not death or depression sentence. If you are unhappy and can not find peace in your marriage and/or your husband feels the same, why should you remain there and suffer. In fact, it is a fact that your children will do better with happy parents (step parents).

    Had to rant!

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 19, 2013 at 12:49 pm

      Aunty watch the video with an open mind!!!The message you got is not the same one she message you are implying…Free your mind while you slip n slide…..

    • Ada Nnewi

      June 19, 2013 at 12:50 pm

      *Aunty watch the video with an open mind!!!The message you got is not the same one she implied…Free your mind while you slip n slide…..

    • Bee

      August 11, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      I agree with you slipnslide on where she says white men won’t stay with their wives because of their children. And black will do? White people adore their children more than anything, they will do anything for their children, whereas, black men will tell you that when they grow up, they will know their father.

  17. Jenny

    June 13, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    I love white guys. Those are the only type of guys I am attracted to for reasons I don’t even know. And it definitely hasn’t been easy with me living in nigeria.

  18. job5:12

    June 14, 2013 at 2:30 am

    I love any man who is a citizen of heaven..(highest pali) Oyibo/black ect them all have problems.

  19. Mabel

    June 14, 2013 at 4:38 am

    I just do not find any man as attractive or appealing as Black men. Now, for those who have no qualms about dating outside of the race, by all means fulfill your desires or answer the call of your heart if it is a love thing.

    For me, I envision a future with a Black man and raising children who I can see my ancestors in. I am also fully aware that life sometimes have a great sense of humour and give you want you least expect, and if I find true and lasting love and respect with a non-Black man then I will run with it, but I know for a fact that it would not be something I sought out for myself. May everybody get out of life what they truly desire in the end.

  20. Kamsi

    June 14, 2013 at 4:57 am

    Hey guys,
    Please take it easy on the girl. It is her opinion and she has a right to it. If you do not want to watch, do not click. I am married to a Caucasian and he is my angel, but it does not mean he does not have his own wahala. Not cleaning up, watching tv all weekend and playing video games in excess is not a racial problem. Cooking and being romantic is also not about race. A good man is a good man. And unlike general belief, oyibo parents do not joke with their children. They are very involved and if my husband messes up and I tell his parents, they will caution him. You can not judge a man by the color of his skin!

  21. Kaori

    June 14, 2013 at 6:23 am

    This woman is so funny and true, I loved her from the moment I saw. Nice outfit btw! 🙂

  22. Kaori

    June 14, 2013 at 6:27 am

    “Even if they don’t really love you, they will stay because of their children” #dayumm, that was so cold…

  23. LoveArena

    June 14, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Hmmm……….. a very topical issue indeed. I can understand Toke’s views and other comments here. Personally, i quite agree with Kamsi’s point of view. Race is not what we should use to judge one’s character. Take time to check out my bog on lovearena.org where we address similar issues and others too.

  24. LoveArena

    June 14, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Hmmm……….. a very topical issue indeed. I can understand Toke’s views and other comments here. Personally, i quite agree with Kamsi’s point of view. Race is not what we should use to judge one’s character. Take time to check out my blog on lovearena.org where we address similar issues and others too.

  25. Nawa OOO

    June 14, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    the fact is when black men date white women, they do it for fake reasons. they do it because they want status. its not mere coincidence that ALMOST ALL OF THE RICH BLACK MEN HAVE WHITE WIVES. just think about it. When it comes to black women i think people put the stereotype that white men have small penis, people think that all black women date white men for papers and the only person a black woman loves is a black man. let me tell you ladies, a BLACK MAN WILL CHOSE A WHITE/MIXED WOMAN over an AFRICAN WOMAN ANYDAY. its just the fact its what the media has drilled into their brain and it is sad

  26. James W. Lewis

    June 15, 2013 at 3:04 am

    Interesting to hear from a point of view outside of my country (the United States). Interracial dating is still taboo in some areas. A commercial was recently released with an interracial couple (black man & white woman) and the hate flooded the internet. We’ve made progress, but still have ways to go.

  27. Pd

    June 15, 2013 at 7:21 am

    My friend is dating a white guy and shes so happy…….have never seen her so contented and ‘wow’ed like dis before. At dis rate if i bring home a purple man sef my mama go accept wholeheartedly! So………

    • bussie

      July 4, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Lol! abi oh

  28. teetee

    June 17, 2013 at 2:09 am

    I thought the comment about a black man sticking around just because of the children was so Low and annoying and toke spoke like it was okay,that ah!at least the man is still with you and that’s absolute nonsense.i personally will not want any man to stay because he’s afraid of what society will say or just because of our children !what about me?what about the love you promised to have for me on the alter of God.Puleese !we African ladies have been made to believe we don’t deserve that high level of love from the African man,because he’s an African man!!! She also spoke about accountability of an African man and how you can ways tel his people when hes misbehaving.i laugh in Greek..LooL..my dear toke gone are those days!it takes more than reporting a man for him to change a behavior or his nature and nowadays if the man is the sole provider of his extended family.i pity for you because they would tell you to endure or they would say they would talk to him and won’t say a thing because they don’t wanna get in his bad books.i just recently relocated to the US and im open to other races as Long as the individual has a solid relationship with God which I feel is the ultimate.stop carrying black men on your head because you’re scared of how it might look if you date outside the black race…we all deserve to be loved wholeheartedly,stop settling for mediocre love from these black brothers that think they are doing you a favour by being with you.

  29. Tim

    June 18, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Most black guys that marries white women end up being in deep shit hole after awhile. Just talking from experience….majority are cooling off in jail for charges.

  30. dede

    June 20, 2013 at 5:23 am

    These comments sha…Toke has her Minions on ‘hater alert’. You insult her vlog, they attack you viciously. Hehehehehe..
    #StrollingByWith ChewingStick InMyMouth

  31. Naomi

    June 21, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    I am not a fan of Toke, but the video makes a whole lot of sense..whats the message here? be open minded& disregard stereotypes , it also goes down to how we judge naija guys based on the tribe dey are from,I know a friend of mine, once she hears that a guy is igbo she is not interested cos she heard all igbo guys are autocratic in nature..lol, and believe me, a lot of naija guys are really romantic, most of the guys I dated, cooked, served me and even carried my bag4moi!

  32. Chala

    June 22, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    Hmmm….am actually married to a French guy with a baby. Believe me, my world is everything I want. Much love

  33. Wangi

    June 26, 2013 at 8:16 am

    As much as I hate to say this, the most romantic/caring guy I ever dated was black American. For some reason though, my mind is still closed up, and I can’t see myself getting married to any guy who’s not Nigerian, I don’t really care about tribe, but he just has to be Nigerian. Love Toke, keep up the good work, dear.

  34. SK

    June 27, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    Still all speculations..Individuals are different there are no categorizations..At the end of the day If one loves you they will make a way and treat you better, no need for excuses.

  35. To the left

    June 27, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    If a man doesn’t want you, why will you go beg his family? Females will forever be underneath men for shit like this. So you would rather he stays with no feelings, waste your time and his then go on cheating? smh. And who believes a black man will stay because of kids? Huge lie!!!

  36. mrs joan ekezie

    July 8, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    how is this toke babe or ‘mama’ looks old from her pics…small wonder she reeks wit experience

  37. Anna Tunde

    July 10, 2013 at 6:05 am

    I would have really expected a “TV personalty” like Toke to not use terminologies like
    “Black” or “white” what happens to terms like Caucasian and African???
    As much as Toke is trying to show herself as accepting,
    Using terms like that are very devicive and not terms that should be used with the term interatial couple.
    It is important to be responsible, educated and chose your words correctly if you are going to pull the political middle ground especially as a so called TV host.

  38. aj

    July 15, 2013 at 6:38 am

    Its obvious that Toke does not know much about interracial relationships because i did not get her point!

  39. Blesson

    July 18, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    My flatmate was in a relationship with this cute white guy before she got married, they seem to be in love even to the extend my friend was ready to go extra miles to be with this guy. . Well she told the white dude about the guy she was dating, also told him they’re having problems and wanna end the relationship. Some weeks later , d white dude secretly logged unto her yahoo messenger, got d guy’s yahoo id, added him on his account and telling him many stuff like “back off my girl and many more. My friend got pissed about d whole situation, becos from small problem become big wahala. so she told d white guy to kinda give her some break. but this white guy no gree, also he came to me crying that i should beg my friend becos he knows my friend is doing all this becos of the nigeria guy. Because his plea wasn’t granted, he started sending the naija guy sexy/private pictures of my friend he had on his phone, some of their chats etc.. just to get back at my friend.( Some or most Oyinbos no dey forgive at all ooo especially when u break their heart). At the end, she didn’t even marry any of them. She is now happily married with a baby girl!! My point is black or white oo, Pray God should direct u to ur SOUL-MATE for everlasting peace and happiness!!!. What is good for you, may not be good for me!!

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