Connect with us

News

Chiamaka O.: Eating Disorders Are Not Just For Caucasians

Published

 on

In a fleeting moment of ecstasy, I found myself clicking ‘buy’ on iTunes; when I saw Beyonce’s album. I jammed to every single song on that album; then “pretty hurts” caught my attention.

You see, the first time I saw the video of that song, I could relate so much. I shed a tear or two. Besides sex, perfection is the easiest brand to sell to society. “Vogue says Thinner is better”. “Bigger is better”.

The pressure society puts on women to be ‘perfect’; to be a size zero, and still manage to have ass length hair, Double DDs and a video vixen ass, all at the same time.

Younger women, especially, buy into it – consciously or subconsciously. We attach our self esteem to the number on a scale, or a dress size. Who is to blame? Men? Media? Society?

This is my story.

I wasn’t born a bone, I was born a stone. I started off as a lanky child, as we all do. High school came, and I traded in my bones for curves. Sharp, noticeable curves, that made anything I wore look sinful. I loved my figure; I revelled in it. A very happy UK size 12.

College came after high school; and suddenly my curves went out of fashion. Bony girls, with no breasts and no ‘back’ ruled. I saw them in their skinny jeans and crop tops. Picking at their meals and living off fat free yoghurts.

I watched them sneer at me and my curves. I watched them sneer even more, when I picked up my plate at the cafeteria and filled it with regular food.

And then I started to look at magazines. Even in the pages of the magazines, I could feel them laughing at me. I could see them with their skinny selves, and cellulite free asses, laughing at me.

Even the boys started to stare less. Maybe they laughed at me too. And so it started; I stumbled upon some websites that promised me perfection, at the cost of at least 2 meals a days.

Hunger is just a feeling” they said. “A moment on the lips, forever on the hips

I skipped breakfast one day, and by the next week, I was skipping breakfast and lunch altogether. If I did eat, I punished myself with two fingers down my throat and my head bent over the toilet. I think the fancy name for that is Bulimia.

Then I acquired a gym membership. I was at the gym everyday; after class, after church, every weekend, on public holidays.

I lived off diet coke and I worked out like a slave. I weighed myself every other day and was constantly staring at myself in the mirror. Yet it wasn’t enough. So I imported hunger repression pills from china. They made me jittery and nauseous; but I still stuck by them.

With every goal weight I reached, it still wasn’t enough. Thinner was always better. Thinner was always better. Then the curves disappeared; slowly but surely. The bones were on display for all to see. I wasn’t still pleased. I was severely depressed.

It was like the thinner I got, the more weight I felt I had to lose. Until that day my guardian called me into her office. And she handed me a mirror and asked me to look into it, and I didn’t recognize the girl that looked back. And I couldn’t handle the tears that literally poured out of my heart, and slithered down my cheeks.

Look at you. You look haggard. You look bony. You look old. At this rate, I’m going to have to get you medical and psychological help soon”, she said.

Nothing changed. I slowed it down; but it continued. My parents were scared of new found ‘boniness’. “Black people don’t have eating disorders”, they said.

Perfection was my disease. Until one day, I couldn’t do it anymore. I stepped out of the shower, after a week long water fast, collar bones on display.

I walked in front of my full length mirror, and dropped the towel. I looked in the mirror, and a familiar face stared right back. I ran my fingers down my face, around the neck, down my chest, to my taut stomach. I turned round and round. Trying to find the ugly; the ugly that sending me down the dark, thorny path of anorexia and bulimia and depression.

I couldn’t find it. All I found was the beautiful. I found the fearless, loud mouthed girl, who didn’t care what the magazines said about beauty – the girl who didn’t care that skinny was the new beautiful, who was a shepherd and not a sheep.

And slowly, I stopped myself. One meal at a time, one less gym date at a time, I was back. I’m a long way from college now, and believe me it’s still a struggle not to go back down that path

I’m writing this to inspire every young woman out there. Like you, I have been there; like you, I’m still there.

Society has taught us what is acceptable. Society has taught us that all is not well until the bones are sticking out. If you don’t look like the model in the magazine, you are not beautiful. In the end, it is up to you to redefine the word ‘beautiful’. Beautiful is confident. Beautiful is individuality. Beautiful is more mental than physical. Beautiful is you. The way God made you. Flawless in all your imperfection.

Nobody, no standard, no man, is worth two fingers down your throat – or the long road to anorexia. Anorexia exists. Even among Nigerians. It is not a “white people thing”.

This is just my story. I wonder what yours is. Beauty is not supposed to hurt and nobody is meant to be PERFECT.

Photo Credit: nsportal.ru

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chiamaka O. is a writer, lover and law student. You can follow her on twitter @YellowIgboGirl or check out her blog, http://yellowigbogirl.wordpress.com/ to follow her adventures.

57 Comments

  1. ada

    January 24, 2014 at 8:50 am

    Waoh. so true oo. I’ve been butt toning like crazy still the thing won’t budge. I just have to love all of me, big yansh and all

    • JACKIE

      January 25, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      BE SPECIFIC: Western society has taught you to …” AFRICAN
      SOCIETY HAS EVOLVED BEYOND THE STUPIDITY OF BODY THIS … BODY
      THAT! The focus on women here is EDUCATION 1st, and marriage
      2nd.

  2. ejogene

    January 24, 2014 at 8:52 am

    Beautiful write up. I love the part “Nobody, no standard, no man, is worth two fingers down your throat – or the long road to anorexia”. I wish women could realize this and don’t let the pressure get to them.

  3. lilz

    January 24, 2014 at 8:55 am

    i love

  4. talia

    January 24, 2014 at 9:06 am

    thanks for this oo. i love my size ;i fluctuate btw 14 and 16 and i do all to flaunt it where necessary with the beautiful curves and all the ‘necessaries’ in place. I am a proud African woman. I’m beautiful within and it radiates outwardly.That’s what matters.

  5. silvabubbles

    January 24, 2014 at 9:14 am

    wow!!! beautiful piece, im glad you are over that phase now….God bless you dear

  6. amakadon

    January 24, 2014 at 9:20 am

    My dear thank God you realized d truth by yourself. I wonder how somebody will want to be a Bonga fish all d name of keeping fit. Nonsense mentality.

    • A

      January 26, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      Very simplistic retort! there’s no need to “wonder” it’s
      written above in black and white.

  7. Chibeke

    January 24, 2014 at 9:30 am

    Good write up,i wonder the craze in losing weight to please someone.”Beautiful is confident” “Beautiful is individuality” the earlier we all get that into our brains the better. i keep telling people that Heaven will accommodate all,whether you’re fat,slim,lanky,tall or short….. Be yourself,that the most important and pursue heaven.

  8. bullimic for 13 years, anorexic for 2 years

    January 24, 2014 at 9:33 am

    the struggle for perfection is real.. still on d road to recovery 🙂

  9. myHairmyBeautyNigeria.com

    January 24, 2014 at 9:33 am

    This was really deep, I’m glad you stressed that even Africans have eating disorders, a friend of mine went through this as well, still recovering, it’s amazing how it consumes your life.

  10. Troll

    January 24, 2014 at 9:34 am

    I can’t even imagine what you went through; my heart goes out to you. The quest to make one self perfect is like going falling down the bottomless pit.
    “Who is to blame? Men? Media? Society?” Personally, I think women are to blame. Most would disagree with me, but I don’t care. When women stop putting themselves under pressure to look beautiful or perfect then we just might achieve this gender equality we’ve been screaming about. Plastic surgery, weaves, weight loss, make up, bleaching (blacks) and so many other things we do just to be accepted. Why do we have to put ourselves under this kind of pressure? and believe me when I tell you that more of the criticism comes from women than men. No one is perfect, a UK size 12 should not be called FAT!
    MY OWN CONSPIRACY THEORY:
    I think this new trend of ‘skinny is better’ is a white man’s way of finishing the black man’s already low self esteem, cos we all know that they are the ones with skinny arses while we have full ones. Now they’re making us believe that our body structure is bad? Come on!

    • mocha model

      January 24, 2014 at 9:34 pm

      troll, must you turn every little thing into a black and
      white argument. You can’t blame men and their colour for your own
      insecurites. Women of different shapes and sizes belong to EVERY
      race, please don’t be so narrow-minded. I’m Nigerian naturally
      skinny,5’8, high cheekbones and fit into a uk 6.- and I eat TONS. I
      know that the writer has no intentions of putting anybody down, but
      lets be real here. You can’t blame magazine models for being
      insecure, insecurity comes from within just as beauty does. I
      looooove my body and i get tons of compliments on how i should go
      into modelling. Often times we tend to bully ourselves into these
      ilnessess. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any body type so
      lets not put anyone down here.

    • Guest

      January 28, 2014 at 11:17 pm

      Thanks for the humble brag…but this article is to encourage people with a skinny is better mindset to reset their minds to healthy and happy is better….good for you for staying thin whilst eating tons but you’re veering off point…this article isn’t for you.

  11. Zainab

    January 24, 2014 at 9:35 am

    I really loved reading this… Thank You. I think the society, media and a host of other things are to blame… Accepting ones self is really hard these days… It’s a struggle. I think the point is knowing when to draw the line between keeping fit and watching what you eat and becoming anorexic or bulimic … Pretty really does hurt!!!

  12. merci

    January 24, 2014 at 9:36 am

    I feel you big time, the watch word should be healthiness, are you eating right. me too i got overwhelmed with the whole weight lost thing but after a while i dropped the goal. so far im healthy that’s what is important. so to all the beautiful ladies out there ; appreciate yourself always.

  13. DAMMY

    January 24, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Thank you for this Chiamaka….as for me I love my curvy body anyday anytime, am endowed and i love it YES u can call me *UKWU lol….Nobody, no standard, no man, is worth two fingers down your throat –

  14. Lizzy O.

    January 24, 2014 at 9:58 am

    Lovely post. I am so happy you overcame that phase. NO ONE is indeed perfect. As I say, “life is short, eat the ice cream”.
    BUT I also know that everything should be done in moderation.
    Let’s not forget that a healthy dose of working out, cutting out the bad foods is GOOD for everyone.

  15. peyton

    January 24, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Women are to blame.we laugh at women who are less preety fat, thin whateva.love yourself if you need to loose weight loose for health reasons. Always use ur bmi that way you will not be way off.moderation is the key. And asking yourself why you are loosing weight in the first place is it for you your health or for some guy or because you want to look like some ones idea of beauty?.

  16. Chiamaka Daisy

    January 24, 2014 at 10:03 am

    This just basically explains my life. God blessed me with hips, wide noticeable hips…but now I get the ‘Oh, your hips are too big’ ‘You should hit d gym amaka’ comments everywhere. I just thnak God I have a very thick skin and I shut my inner self from all these statements cos by now I would be anorexic. Society should let THICK people be!

  17. MissW

    January 24, 2014 at 10:17 am

    ”it is up to me to redefine the word ‘beautiful’. Beautiful is confident. Beautiful is individuality. Beautiful is more mental than physical. Beautiful is me. The way God made me. Flawless in all me imperfection”. Nice!! love it!

  18. Modella

    January 24, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Can the writer stop the pity party already? Why used the words,bony,skinny ass etc don’t put skinny people down to feel elevated..what some people fail to understand is that skinny people has been let down too in Africa especially in the past,thank God to westernization..While growing up as a teenager,I was bully enough and call all sort of derogatory names,my self esteem was let down,I ate all I could to know avail..I regain my little confidence while in the university when Modelling Agency approached me..Few yrs after,I have gain a little weight and I’m now a perfect size 8…yes I’m loving the way am..All those peers that always mock me then are now as big as ‘soaked bread’…They are always in awe of how much beautiful I have became,same pple that almost make me commit suicide,years back! What is the moral of the lesson,am not gonna have mercy on any fat person now,get out the heck out and stop consoling yourself!!!

    • Troll

      January 24, 2014 at 10:45 am

      I was really nodding my head to your comment until i got here “What is the moral of the lesson,am not gonna have mercy on any fat person now,get out the heck out and stop consoling yourself!!!”
      You’re just a buffoon! Let me deliver you from your buffooness. The moral of the lesson should be; don’t look down on any body because of their body type. As long as you’re healthy, that should be all that matters.

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      January 24, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      Forgive my forwardness, but I was watching out for your comment.

      You seem to have an ongoing rivalry between yourself, (a model, as you have described yourself) and full sized women. Children can be quite malicious and wicked and I grieve that you had to go through that. There is almost always an undertone of vanity in almost all your comments as you allude to your body and “your model like features’ and its good to now know where it all stems from: Insecurities arising from childhood experiences.

      There is a paradox, the child is the father of the man, in this case the woman. We do not suddenly become who we are as adults: our ways were set since we were kids. But to continue in this constant diss of people who you think are generally fatter than you means are still living in the past and might just suggest that you are insecure with who you are now even with all your supposed accomplishments.

      Turnabout isn’t always fair play; it just sometimes simply means that you are stuck on hate, in need of constant retaliation and cant move past it.

      Move on. Be happy with who you are, who you have become, and let each man battle the fats with their mirrors. Frankly put, its none of your business. And next time you post a comment, try, try, not to say anything about your looks or your body. Sure there is more to you than that.

    • observer

      January 24, 2014 at 7:21 pm

      Thank you my dear….I couldn’t have said it better and like you I was looking out for her comment too…..she seems to me to be a very shallow individual… Always clamoring for her body attributes to feel validated….n like u said…I am sure there more to her than her looks…jeez

    • sigh

      January 25, 2014 at 4:35 am

      STANDING OVATION FOR YOUR COMMENT. BEST EVER ON BN. HOPE
      THESE DUMBOS GET TO READ IT. (Yes, I am calling them
      names).

    • Iris

      January 24, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      So having experienced the pain of being bullied for being skinny, instead of channelling it positively and standing up for people who are bullied for being fat or for even being skinnier than you are, you’re “not going to have mercy”? Precious little thing aren’t you? *hiss*

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      January 24, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      Dayumm, woman! You went in hard, naming & shaming & everything…

    • memebaby

      January 24, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      I was happy while reading your comment till you ended it with your “moral of the story” bullshit! Now you are just plain stupid! yes It’s a good thing that you overcame your struggles and yes I do not appreciate when big girls insult skinny girls maybe just to make their own self feel better but you are now playing “payback” ? Girl pls go stay in the corner and drink bleach 🙂 . Your moral lesson should be everyone should be happy with the way they look, strive to be healthy and stop bashing the next girl because she does not fit into the society’s body standard..

  19. Downtown chica

    January 24, 2014 at 10:57 am

    You are so jaded you really need therapy, cos from your comments I don’t think you feel as beautiful as you think. Girl you still have issues to work out. I suggest you check the yellow pages and look for help fast

  20. wunmi

    January 24, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Thank u Chiamaka; I am so encouraged. It has been REALLY HARD being called fat. I’ve added so much weight & have found it difficult to shed since I have fibroids. I have a bulging abdomen because of a stone-like tumor in my stomach; sit ups are hard but I still fight because of the crappy comments from peeps about how much weight I have gained. I have taken different slimming tea, supplements, all sorts of concoction just to lose weight but it aint easy so reading this piece is encouraging. @ Modella u don’t have to be mean to others cos some peeps have been mean to u. If anything because u know what it feels like; u should empathize with those hurting because of body issues cos you’ve been there

    • Grace E

      January 25, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      awe take it easy with all the supplements..some of them are
      quite harmful you know?dont be too hard on yourself with the weight
      loss process. I’m sure there are worse looking people out there..it
      takes time!im no pro but maybe switch up your lifestyle..eat clean
      and healthy, plenty of moderate exercise given your condition and
      fruits, good sleep and drink tons and tons of water..sorry to hear
      about your fibroids. should you decide to do anything about it like
      surgery, I hope it goes well!!all the best to you my dear!hopefully
      someday we can all read your own successful weight loss story
      despite the fibroids!

  21. Energybill

    January 24, 2014 at 11:58 am

    At the risk of sounding insensitive, Eating Disorders are just For Caucasians (and Black Africans who have become comfortable wherever they are especially in Europe/America). There are some diseases/illnesses peculiar to certain races due to Socio-Economic conditions and bulimia/anorexia are two of those. Not saying these does not happen to other races apart from Caucasians but they are prevalent in wealthy countries in the midst of plenty. Me thinks your issue is as my mother will say “o jeun tan, onwa bekun bekun”. Loose translation – Its only when you’ve chopped bellefull and have no worries that you think of play and silliness.

    Like @Modella, I was bullied to the point of tears for being skinny (skinny is an understatement sef, I was painfully thin!) in Nigeria as a teenager. I’m having the last laugh now because I have gained some weight in the right places and those that bullied me, well lets just say they look like my aunties #tongueouttothem.

    BMI is not a true indication of how healthy you are and if there is just the one thing to thank Beyonce and J.Lo for, Its making bootilicious acceptable. Well done for getting yourself out of the rut though

    • sigh

      January 25, 2014 at 4:39 am

      Pls go and join Jayjay10 and Modella in the psych ward. You
      just went in circles to say NOTHING. If you dunno, bingeing often
      is a disorder that several women in Nig. do to get some flesh in
      order to be accepted. All of u, Yaba left.

    • Energybill

      January 27, 2014 at 12:20 pm

      BN where is my comment? Its ok to allow comments calling other people psychos but not ok to allow comments putting them in their place?

  22. Hmmm

    January 24, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    This is such a sensitive subject….. But I love food and cannot imagine my life not eating like a pig all day everyday. Well av been size 8 since forever and i can eat 3 pples plate in one go *sigh* i just love food.

  23. Dr. N

    January 24, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Why do we make fun of each other? Tear each other down? Whether fat or thin, I’m sure u had 1 person who stood by u? I was teased for being thin but I had an overweight cousin who was my anchor. I can’t bear anyone teasing her, I celebrate every kilo she loses. I just think she’s pretty. For the same reason, I cannot mock fat people. I know they were unkind to me but for her sake………..www.drnsmusings.wordpress.com

    • Bleed Blue

      January 24, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      You really should meet Modella and counsel her. #LetLoveFlow

  24. RM

    January 24, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    i’m not even sure why you are sooo angry at the writer but i think you got it twisted,i believe the “skinny” and “bony” people shes refferring to in her write up are people who have become this way due to pressure not people who are naturally skinny…..

    • RM

      January 24, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      @modella

  25. Onye

    January 24, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    I feel you. I too had an eating disorder. I stopped eating totally except for an egg a week. I used to walk long distances daily too. It got so bad, my skin started shedding. I got so skinny, or so everyone told me. But, I didn’t think I was. I used to drown in my smallest clothes and yet I still thought I was fat. Yes, black people do get eating disorders. They get depression as well. Anorexia is not a white man (or girl’s) disease.

  26. Cynthia

    January 24, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    I think people are getting the wrong gist from the writer, I doubt her aim was to trash thin people and uplift overweight people, be comfortable in your own skin, I’ve been a size 6 forever there is nothing I don’t eat, in highschool the usual question was “are you a sickler?” But I felt healthy inside. If you don’t love you no one will be convinced to love you. The post is more for those with eating disorder not a contest of fat and thin!!!

  27. Affie D

    January 24, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Ugo, I hope you read this. I dunno who made you believe you are/were fat. steady turning into a bag of bones.

  28. Heeba

    January 24, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    Eating disorders are real and I could not believed it almost happened to me?
    I was on a diet of “small portions” my food portions got smaller and smaller everyday at first I felt hungry for the first few weeks then later the hunger pangs stopped and I got used to it? It got to a point that my stomach got used to the small portions that if I ate more than three spoons of rice I will go to the toilet to throw up? That was fine at home but very embarrassing at restaurants and public places.
    All in a bid to lose weight!! God!
    When I had a health scare! Ovarian cyst my focus changed from losing weight to treating my cyst and that was how the Almighty removed me from that death program I was embarking on. I still watch what I eat and exercise the only thing is that I am not obsessed an now know that there are other important things of joy like life

  29. NaijaPikin

    January 24, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    I watched myself jump from a US 2 -4 and now I’m a US 6. I
    was once focused on weight loss, but now i know better. I’m just
    focused on staying fit and living healthy. My goal, keep
    moving(walking, running, skipping, biking, fun stuff that has me
    moving) and eating healthy (less sugar, less salt, less fat, less
    oil, etc)

  30. Deee

    January 24, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    The truth is Africa especially is harder on slim people, even here I constantly read comments on how Eku should eat a burger and Lupita ‘s bones are sticking out. People need to just let each other be! For some of us it is a real struggle to gain weight, while for others the struggle is not to gain. We should all just stop the thoughtless comments

    • KokoDee

      January 25, 2014 at 12:06 am

      Best comment!I guess its hard for Modella to forget the hurt and be expected to be nice to people who were mean to her for body sizes now being craved as they grow older. So your line just makes sense.

    • Eve82

      January 25, 2014 at 9:39 am

      Don’t forget Agbani too…

  31. Seriously

    January 25, 2014 at 1:25 am

    Now someone should write the same thing about bleaching,
    that’s more of a danger in Nigeria than bulimia or
    anorexia..

  32. Noni

    January 25, 2014 at 8:15 am

    I spent a year in Asia and went from a size 8 to a size 6
    because of the change in diet, I came back to Nigeria and my weight
    loss got me complements from family and friends… fast forward to
    five months later, my change of diet in Nigeria made me gain
    weight, I was a size 10 this time… at my sister’s wedding, I kid
    you not, more than 20 people made sarcastic, rude and mean comments
    about my weight gain, including family members. People, especially
    women are very insensitive to each other. A pregnant cousin of mine
    was laughing at me because I gained weight, she took some kind of
    joy in the fact that a ‘unpregnant’ person was gaining weight.
    Another random guest told me that I should watch it or else I wont
    get married, while my Uncle told me I look like someone’s mother…
    Weight gain and weight loss is not some sort of competition, it is
    a fact of life… there are times when one will gain weight and
    times when one will lose it… People need to grow up and stop
    insulting others to make themselves feel great.

    • Erica D

      January 25, 2014 at 5:34 pm

      That is so mean. Whatever gave us the right to condemn
      peoples look, I have no clue. How can an adult open his mouth to
      say you look like someone’s mother? Bullying, especially verbal
      ones needs to be addressed. I was reading about the Naomi and Mary
      case in the UK, and saw how Naomi had previously told Mary she
      looked like a monster from a horror movie, and she’s ugly. That
      statement is what made Mary pour acid on Naomi’s face. Very sad
      story but it is reflective of how words can hurt or heal. My dear
      you are beautiful the way you are. Your weight loss or gain doesn’t
      define you. I’m a size US4 and every one says am too slim. My
      sister is a 12 or 14, and cause am older, people tell her in public
      that your older sister looks younger than you, and called her Orono
      with a smile. I have the person a piece of my mind, but noticed
      that my sister has started going to the gym now. I just told her,
      go to the gym because it makes you stay healthy and not because you
      want to lose weight. You can be curvy and healthy, or slim and
      unhealthy. Don’t let them define you please. Just do you. Whenever
      you feel that their words are hurting you, remind yourself that
      there is more to you than your dress size. Just work on your
      esteem, else they will get to you. Bullying needs to be taken more
      seriously in Nigeria.

    • KokoDee

      January 26, 2014 at 1:15 am

      Great point and which expounds on Deee’s post. Sigh’s comment re: Psych ward is therefore in poor taste in my opinion. BN readers don’t have to tear each other down to make their points!

  33. A

    January 26, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Women are their own worst enemies when it comes to judgement based on size, looks, basically aesthetics. I cannot imagine seeing a complete stranger in public and giving them dirty looks just because I don’t agree with how they look or how they’re dressed.. yet I experience this almost every time, especially from black women, so much so that I just tend not to make eye contact when out and about. I think that women are far more unkind to one another than magazines can ever be. I myself am a UK size 8/10 but with no curves, lol. I get remarks like” You look exactly how you looked at school” etc this used to bother me so much when I was younger and despite eating like a horse, I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never have hips, short of having them artificially glued to my sides.. i’m only just accepting my body now in my 30s and really don’t care what anyone has to say. Thing is you can always find an imperfection in everyone if you look hard enough BUT there is more to life than looks! Young girls especially should be encouraged to accept themselves just as they are, as long as they are healthy.

    • Grace E

      January 27, 2014 at 2:17 am

      LOL …some of the people who make those comments to you trust me, they secretly wish they look like u!!who wouldnt want to still like they were in school????means you aint ageing…go ‘head girl!!allow them say what they want if that makes them feel better!!

  34. Anonymous

    January 27, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    My boyfriend looked at me and said I know you’re 70% of the men’s dream but I wish you were curvier. I’m a size 8, tall and I look like a model. I will tell you in confidence that Nigerian men love big women and skinny girls in Nigeria grew up being called ‘Pencil’ ‘Dongo’ ‘Panla’ what hv you thats why when Agbani won Miss world we were happy to get back at the big women. Don’t believe me, try being a size 8 with your boyfriend and watching Timaya’s ‘Ukwu’ .

  35. Nina

    February 12, 2014 at 3:18 am

    someone help a sister…i urgently need to gain weight,i mean my struggle is more than real. i dnt knw why society hv made it look like there aint people struggling to gain weight especially nigerians dat isnt helpin matters when dey see skinny pple.i am so skinny infact so thin da pple think am sick or somthing eventhough i am medically fine . i most times dnot have appetite to eat i mean i skip meals just bcos i dnot feel like eating even when i force my self i always fail ..i ve cried my eyes out when i hear comments abt my skinny self but dere is nt much i can do i just accept it nd try to love my self..mind you i have never been chubby or fat in my life, i hv prayed infact am not trying to accept the fact that i can neva gain weight cos i knw God will do it soon…my graduation from college is in a month time but i keep wishing i could look different at least for this memorable day .i look 12 even when am 19 altho am not loosing my self esteem i feel pained that most times i have to cry my self to sleep just becos some random person that dnot know or understand my struggle have decided to insult me ,sigh.. the fact is just that not all skinny people like hw they are some even go to the extent of giving compliment of how gud it is to be skinny now so u can mantain it nd blah blah blah i know they mock at their bak, i have been nicknamed somany things like panla ,broom ,stick et.c i just reject it .. i jst want a graduation gift which will be to gain weight..am sick and tired of always adjusting cloths anytime i shop…help! help! i have less than 2 months to achieve this.. Yes i am desperate i just hope this works out..thanks in advance for your advice.

  36. Sandy

    February 8, 2015 at 10:59 am

    I can totally relate to this topic , I am a young Nigerian female currently recovering from anorexia nervosa. Living and studying in Nigeria. I was a UK size eight and could even fit into a size six but people’s comments got to me and I started dieting and went to extreme measures to lose weight . Calorie restriction and all that ,I was too deep before I was diagnosed . After all the suffering ,I have come to the realization that loving and accepting yourself is all that matters not fitting into a person’s definition of what you should be. I am looking forward to a great life outside of anorexia. I would appreciate counselling if I can get one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php