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Munir Bello: Why Do Men Lie About Their Jobs?

Munir Bello

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At some point a large number of men have either spiced up their job titles/descriptions or lied about what they do for a living in order to get a female interested in them. The first time I noticed this was when I was out with a friend of mine and we got chatting to some girls. When they asked us what we did for a living he said that he was a lawyer for Sony, I was a music producer and we had just concluded a business meeting (bear in mind that it was 11pm in a student bar). This conversation was not pre prepared and as an innocent wingman I had to play along with the illusion whilst trying my hardest not to burst out laughing at the absurdity of this situation. They asked a lot of questions and he even got a number. I was thinking too much about the consequences to lie about what I did for a living and I also wondered what would happen if I lied to girl who happened to be in the field of work that I was claiming for my own.

It’s clearly not the first time that something like this has happened, I have seen many men chat up girls and spice up their role at work and I always wondered if it really mattered to women. I started with my own experiences. Once upon a time I was a banker and if I went out with my colleagues we never struggled to engage in conversations with women that carried on for a long period of time. Perhaps they were just interested in the mechanics of our day to day as opposed to what could have been in our wallets.

I asked a few ladies about their thoughts on the occupation of a potential love interest. Most said that they weren’t too bothered and a few in the minority did say that they’d only date someone who earned above a certain threshold. The main thing they all agreed upon was that they wanted someone who was ambitious although their definitions of ambition ranged from someone who wanted to progress in their career and earn a six figure salary to someone who wanted to keep improving themselves. The ladies said that they were aware that many men had lied about their jobs and incomes on first meeting. Things became apparent the longer they got to know them and they didn’t have a problem with it. Some said that had they known from the beginning that it was a façade, then they wouldn’t have given the guy a chance whilst others said they knew all along and it didn’t bother them. 99% would not date someone who was unemployed. They didn’t want to be the sole earner in a relationship, neither did they want to end up resenting their partner.

I gathered the men round and all of them said that at some point they had exaggerated their job roles, salaries and even lied about what they did for a living in order to impress a women. Their reasons for doing so varied from simply trying to get someone into bed to being unhappy with their current role and therefore lying about it. They all felt that women would be more impressed with them if they earned more money or had jobs that carried more responsibility and importance. They said this was based on the pressure society placed on them to be successful and also how movies portray the expected roles of a man as being anything and everything.

There are some truths in what all the people had to say. Women do want to feel secure and men want to feel like they are able to provide. There are a minority of women who will only go with men who can provide for them in the material sense and there are plenty of men who are willing to lie about what they do for a living to get a woman interested in them. Times are changing and more women are doing it for themselves and men are becoming increasingly reliant on their charm and personality to find a partner with the hope of building something solid together. I wonder what you guys think?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Mimagephotography

20 Comments

  1. Mz Socially Awkward...

    March 11, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Funny world. Men exaggerating their job titles and roles to get some women’s attention and women underselling their professional status to keep some of their “toasters” keen.

    To be honest, I think men who lie about or embellish their occupation do it more for the respect of the wider community and that includes the acknowledgement they receive from other men. We gals have been toasted by taxi drivers, abokis and mechanics (like the young man who used to repair my car in those days and would use the same mouth he employed in fleecing me of all available cash to also ask me what a fine girl like me was doing over the weekend), so we wouldn’t be quick to flatter ourselves that men are lying solely to win our hearts. It’s a reflection of how society perceives and exalts males who are “doing well” as opposed to those who are assumed to not have “made it”.

    You brought back a recollection of a company dinner that I attended a few years ago with a Naija guy I was dating at the time. When my oyibo colleagues asked him what he did for a living, he replied that he was a bouncer (even though he really was a reservoir engineer). Me sef kept a straight face and kept talking away but you could see the curiosity in some of their faces, which appeared to be relieved when the truth was revealed some minutes later. Now, another colleague (also oyibo) complained to me later on that she felt people were a bit snobbish towards her (similarly oyibo) husband when he was asked the same question and replied that he worked at Tesco (in fact, she was particularly upset with the dismissiveness she perceived from a certain individual). This is just to illustrate that it seems to be a very general issue that men contend with, whether the listeners are male or female.

  2. niola

    March 11, 2015 at 10:57 am

    Ehn Ehn men lie about their jobs? In Nigeria? Me I never did meet such men sha so I couldn’t relate to this article….

  3. Scared homosapien

    March 11, 2015 at 11:00 am

    I met a guy who said he works with computers. So I asked ‘you have a computer shop or you are an IT person?’ He said, ‘he just works with computers’, no further explanation. I just concluded he was a fraudster and that was the last time we ever spoke. The worse is even those that tell you they are hustlers and can’t point at what area in the business world they hustle in.
    Finally sha, I think most people kinda embellish their Job descriptions so as to feel very important and relevant.

    • Ephi

      March 11, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      “can’t point at what area in the business world they hustle in.”
      Loooool 🙂 funny

      1
    • Bella

      March 11, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      You are too funny but I hear you, its better to run now than later. You had a direct question – why the not so direct answer?

  4. ogeAdiro

    March 11, 2015 at 11:56 am

    Men tell those lies to get approval. Even the women who are doing it for themselves still do not want an unemployed “sumbori”. Untiil our society starts treating men and women equally, then guys will keep lying and women will keep forming “nne anyi Mary”.

  5. who

    March 11, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    …so when womean lie about virginity nau nko.. smh

  6. El Maestro

    March 11, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Good looking , well spoken, well dressed guy meets girl at sip. They get talking and dude is all smooth and eloquent. Then she asks what do you do ?? ; He stays calm and honest then says nothing really for now ; i just got done with my Nysc but cant seem to find anything decent thus i’m thinking about starting something for myself but dont know what yet… now 7/10 times, the girl will immediately lose interest and see the guy as bad market” why ?? because sadly these lagos girls dont have time for prospects anymore. The level of expectation is insane e.g how do you expect a 24-29 year to drive a mercedez, live on the island, buy your bags, hair, shoe , spa dates etc when you’re not an orphan. The truth is only a few 9-5’s can get you all that and going into business is impossible without capital unless offcourse daddy or mummy comes through because the banks definitely wont..
    With that being said, guys mostly tend to lie when they’re just trying to nack and run before she finds out anything cos by then you could give a rats ass and even then, she wont be able to burst your secret due to the shame.
    Bottom line, I for one dont blame any guy that lies or cons his way with girls because being yourself will get you Nowhere in this jungle called Lagos

    • babe

      March 11, 2015 at 3:57 pm

      the expectation is on both sides o

  7. jefka

    March 11, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Even women lie about their jobs too…..
    but men carry trophy sha oooo…….
    in my company, we had a driver who tells people he is the logistics manager.
    anyway, i pity girls who r out to date guys who earn 7figures and above, most of them hv one sisi eko d v prepared one side to take to d altar, u r just oshi free.
    my colleague wil say chop d guy money, even if he doesnt marry you, u will knw dt u didnt loose out entirely.

  8. D

    March 11, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    Once saw an old friend somewhere so we got talking,asking each other questions and all.only for him to tell me he works in an oil company ,ibalmost fainted like the devil is a liar.the only thing his phone needed was a rubber band and his shirt was begging to be used has a rag hian……..!!! just lose his number before I left the place .
    I don’t have problem with what you do for a livng as far as you are truthful, deligent and understand that life is in stages, you may not have the 7-8 figure salary now doesn’t mean you would never get something better than that.

  9. babe

    March 11, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    the expectation is on both sides o

  10. Bella

    March 11, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Google.com – that is where you will find most people in legit/corporate/ entrepreneur businesses shall you have any doubt of what the woman/man is telling you!

  11. Jagbajantis

    March 11, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    People lie about their jobs, because in our society your job has become a reflection of who you are, and not what you do to put food on the table. It signifies your earning power, social strata, influence and usefulness.

    It is wrong, but that is what it is. A barber can always say he is a “Carver of hair follicles”

    • Munir Bello

      March 11, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      Hahahahaha!!!!

  12. Nikky

    March 11, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    I remember this movie with Osofia and Eucharia, every morning Osofia wears his best suit and carries his brief case telling his wife Eucharia that he is going to work as a business man. Lo and behold Eucharia finds out that her husband is the troublesome yam pounder his friend employed in her restaurant. He pounds yam for a living but he lives his house every morning with his suit and brif case.

    I believe that people who embellish or outrightly lie about ones jobs do so out of shame. I Can forgive that kind of lie if I get to know that such a person has a bigger and better goal in mind. What I can’t stand is when someone just becomes comfortable in a job or position that has no real substance. eg working at McDonald’s and dreaming of being the branch manager, that’s a zero.

  13. miss

    March 11, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    Girls also lie about this or make their job titles or even where they work more juicy sometimes but guys are the kings in this business. Simple becoz this is lagos, u have to fake it sometimes before u make it but make sure u do ur research well before faking it. I for sure can’t date a guy without a job,I will definitely friend zone him

  14. ada

    March 12, 2015 at 7:57 am

    [email protected] D. He said he works in an oil company might not be a lie na. Driver for Shell dey work for oil company(although he would be earning well). You should have asked what he does for them. I remember hearing of a guy who met a fine girl and asked her where she works. The girl said she works at NNPC and the guy was clearly pleased because when he found out she was a pump attendant at NNPC e pain am die.

  15. jas

    March 12, 2015 at 10:25 am

    @ El maestro.think the best thing at that stage of one’s life of job hunting should be to focus on securing a future for yourself than pursing one girl or the other.first things first.my thoughts.

  16. Tee

    March 13, 2015 at 10:34 am

    Would you date a bus conductor? there you have it. If you fit date bus conductor then…good…I wish you all the best with your suffer head abi you no see their paul and anita throwback picture? #Just saying_that money can move mountains and separate seas lol #Ibelieveinmiracles

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