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Poet/Writer Bassey Ikpi Shares Her Thoughts on Nigerian Men & Feminism

BellaNaija.com

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Bassey Ikpi 1Nigerian poet and writer Bassey Ikpi added her opinion to a discussion that was trending on twitter earlier today.

According to a twitter user while she was in a taxi the man beside her asked for her phone number and when she refused to give it to him he proceeded to pay for everyone in the taxi except her.

The woman’s tweet got retweeted a number of times and Bassey Ikpi expressed her dissatisfaction with the response from other twitter users.

See her series of tweets below.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Photo Credit: Instagram/Basseyworld

97 Comments

  1. K

    May 14, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Did you see what that one wrote” you see what your dirty ego caused you is not like your a Virgin or something” wow….. Talk about shade to the lady but it was uncalled for!
    I always say give your number to the guy asking cause the truth of the matter is Giving your number is half the battle cause you can alway block them.

    • MIA

      May 14, 2015 at 3:26 pm

      I DONT GIVE MY NUMBER SO AS TO BLOCK YOU ITS MY NUMBER SO I GIVE IT TO WHO I WANT. WHY GIVE AND BLOCK. PEOPLE SHOULD LEARN THAT NO IS ALSO AN ANSWER.

    • FinchleysFinest

      May 14, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      If a woman chooses to give her number, its her decision. if she says no. Then Mr , Move On! Your happiness is not tied to just that one lady…. Na by force? Why show off with paying for everyone and not the lady. Its just silly.

    • FinchleysFinest

      May 14, 2015 at 5:06 pm

      is not like your a Virgin or something…. Thats just one of those things that makes me feel sick about Internet in the hands of Nigerians…. How can someone born out of a woman say these words to another fellow human being? God!

  2. Babym

    May 14, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Ok but serrrriously though! what has her unpleasant cab experience got to do with feminisim????? This is why I keep insisting the definition of feminism has been abused sooo badly it just does not make sense anymore. Hunny u happened to meet a guy who was a dickhead in a cab, feminism cannot protect you from yeye boys! what has equality of the sexes got to do with dealing with a guy who is a douchebag???

    • Prec

      May 14, 2015 at 2:53 pm

      I don’t see anywhere she blamed it on Feminism tho, maybe i missed it.

    • El Mo

      May 14, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      @ Babym, read slowly and understand and stop rushing to comment. This is not so much about the guy in the cab anymore but the responses on twitter. Those are bullsh*t talk from men which we need feminism to protect ourselves, women, from…….Gerrit?

    • Babym

      May 14, 2015 at 6:14 pm

      lol El mo, I still don’t gerrrit though please help! you said ‘Those are bullsh*t talk from men which we need feminism to protect ourselves, women … from’

      So feminism is designed to protect us from bullshit talk from men??? really??? Ok o!

  3. bruno FIERCE

    May 14, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    young lady pls put ur mouth on mute.

    a dude asked for ur number and u said no, so he paid for everyone in the taxi except you, so how did feminism enter the issue.

    I don’t understand does this even make any sense. why should he pay for ur transport fair, is he ur father?

    I can bet my life, the girl was very rude when she said no to the guy when he asked her for her number. nigerians ladies are very rude when u are trying to make small talk with them. u know ur selves. pls not every guy wants to get into ur pants.

    biko I hail that guy wherever he is. dude, its ur money u can whatever u like with it.

    always looking for an opportunity to bash men. it makes u ladies look weak. this is not feminism. some of u don’t know what feminism is.

    madame bassey or whatever you call ur self, u are angry with men, u are angry cause that man u loved so much cheated on u or dumped u for a younger girl thats why u are using this irrelevant opportunity to pour out ur anger and frustration about men. if u hate men so much, become a lesbian.

    • kole

      May 14, 2015 at 4:13 pm

      mr bruno fake (cause clearly you are not fierce) , , see all your five senses (if you dont know what they are, consult your integrated science book) just mute all of them, cause what is worrying you ehen, its fowl tied with red scarf at ojuelegba junction that will cure it!, so i leave it to you and your shadow to figure out!

      did she indicate anywhere that she asked the guy to pay for her cab,??? no she didnt, so your argument is null and void and in plain english dumb!, how was she rude? were you there, maybe you were the cab driver, so in that case, you were looking for tip so thats what is paining you!

      bassey doesnt hate men, she is too busy making a name for herself and you are too busy buying 50 naira glo data card to charge in your phone and log in as bruno fake to come and spew nonsense!,

      in short, bruno fake, you are the guy in the story abi, you used the money you were supposed to use to hem your oga’s trouser to pay everyones cab and now you are in a bind abi, cheya sorry oh!

    • Meena

      May 14, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      I agree with Bruno to some extent. We can actually NOT look at this from a sex angle, just human.

      For example, I don help Jay do his assignment, so he takes every of my friends to dinner, but me.
      Another example, Buhari who has asked Patience out refuses to paint Patience’s nails, and she decides to sleep with all his friends but him.

      It is human nature to react to certain disappointements or rejection in Certain ways. I believe this had little or nothing to do with her sex. The fact he acted that way towards her was his reaction to dissapointment and not necessarily to belittle her gender.

      That said, the comments that followed were repulsive, demeaning and disrespectful to her person. Feminists can jump right in at this point.
      Selah.

    • Surely

      May 15, 2015 at 5:47 am

      @bruno honestly, you are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Self loathing cow.

    • Passerby

      May 15, 2015 at 10:53 am

      You are quite unintelligent and it’s somewhat amusing. It’s funny to see how dull people too can have such a strong opinion. Anyway that’s the beauty of the world. Our differences.

      Those attacking the issue of feminism raised have completely gone off a tangent. The main point is someone complaining about a man with extremely bad manners. End of story.

    • Passerby

      May 15, 2015 at 10:55 am

      And I’m refering to Bruno fierce…even your name is a joke lol

    • Ngbati

      May 15, 2015 at 11:35 am

      You really should stop ‘single shaming’ women. What did we ever do to you? Why the talk about women dying alone and single? Don’t men die alone?

    • Tkum

      May 15, 2015 at 11:56 am

      gosh! you are so daft! you cant read without understanding?

    • Tkum

      May 15, 2015 at 11:57 am

      @bruno fierce or whatever

    • tiny colored miracle

      May 23, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Gbenu e dake!!!!!!!!!…..oshi lo ma n so

  4. bruno FIERCE

    May 14, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    young lady pls put ur mouth on mute.

    a dude asked for ur number and u said no, so he paid for everyone in the taxi except you, so how did feminism enter the issue.

    I don’t understand does this even make any sense. why should he pay for ur transport fair, is he ur father?

    I can bet my life, the girl was very rude when she said no to the guy when he asked her for her number. nigerians ladies are very rude when u are trying to make small talk with them. u know ur selves. pls not every guy wants to get into ur pants.

    biko I hail that guy wherever he is. dude, its ur money u can whatever u like with it.

    always looking for an opportunity to bash men. it makes u ladies look weak. this is not feminism. some of u don’t know what feminism is.

    madame bassey or whatever you call ur self, u are angry with men, u are angry cause that man u loved so much cheated on u or dumped u for a younger girl thats why u are using this irrelevant opportunity to pour out ur anger and frustration about men. if u hate men so much, become a lesbian.

    • Tosin

      May 15, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Oh hush your entire mouth little boy. You are living in the world of ASSUMPTIONS and the basis for your comments are ridiculous.

  5. POLYPOLY

    May 14, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    YASSSSSSD booo!!!! am loving all the Shade being thrown at “YEYE naija men”. good naija men we love and appreciate you.

    Doktor Mofin & Toks – we await your YEYE responses. chilleee please.

  6. @edDREAMZ

    May 14, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    I feel like slapping that bassey of a lady i swear. What is the big deal in giving someone ur number or are yu thinking he is going to steal ur destiny or what. Naija ladies are so damn childish to the core and this bassey of a lady is one of them, what brought about feminism here in the first place if not yu participate in same stupid act which is really uncalled for…. Naija ladie are very gud at lying they dont have phone or they are using their aunt phone just not to collect there number is asive is gold and all this i have experienced first hand, not all though but a great number….. Nansance ladies….
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    • Thatgidigirl

      May 14, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      …..no doubt (you forgot to add that, be like say this matter pain you well well)

    • Miss Anonymous

      May 14, 2015 at 11:11 pm

      Lol! Bassey must have touched a raw nerve! This is the first time “No Doubt” is writing a full paragraph.

    • C

      May 14, 2015 at 3:21 pm

      So you feel like physically assaulting someone because they don’t want to give a guy you don’t even know their number. Why act like you weren’t raised by human beings ? My number belongs to me alone. If I say that I don’t want to share it with you or anyone, that choice is my right. With such an attitude it’s no wonder you sound so bitter about rejection. I don’t know what woman would feel safe with you.

    • kole

      May 14, 2015 at 3:24 pm

      you ,r ed dreamz, change your name to ednightmare,. if you want to slap bassey you have to slap me and the 5million other women who think like me, whether we lie we dont have phone or not, whatever thecase, we sha dont want to give you number and we wont give you, so go to the corner of cry me a river and hug a transformer!!! childish for not giving number. Thats how creepy you all are, you think by calling us childish, we will say oh, but i want to prove to you i am “matured”, so please have my number…na there you make mistake because this number shebi you asked abi,. its 123456789 GTFOH!!!!!, YOU NEVER SEE CHILDISH! BIG HISSS

    • Ada Nnewi

      May 14, 2015 at 5:02 pm

      Don’t mind the iti…Why must a woman give you her number?…The girls that even lie are nice i tell you straight up…No, you can’t have my number or No, i don’t want to give you my number…The one’s that don’t like it are free to jump off Third Mainland Bridge….

    • MIA

      May 14, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      WHY SO PAINED?? TO GIVE NUMBER IS IT BY FORCE?? ITS A BIG DEAL SOME PPLE DONT KNOW WHEN TO CALL. I CANT AND WONT GIVE MY NUMBER TO EVERYONE THAT ASK. SHEKINA.

    • Hush

      May 14, 2015 at 3:34 pm

      It’s you who deserves a slap that will reset your memory for easy understanding.
      It’s not about the lady in the cab tweet it’s about other tweets. Slow down, read and understand before commenting Mr No Doubt.

    • Miss_Flygerian

      May 14, 2015 at 3:34 pm

      See this one o. Yes, our numbers are like gold. We don’t just release it to every Tom, Dick and Harry. If you don’t like it, tinye ose na mmili nuo or better still, hug transformer. Why should I give my number to a guy I don’t know from Adam? Guy abeg, just take a stadium full of seats.

    • DAME

      May 14, 2015 at 3:51 pm

      You dont have to comment if you are going to be silly about it
      IT IS HER FREAKING NUMBER
      and the man is a dumb man for not paying for her??
      1) did she enter the taxi without cab fare ? talk about a child in an adults body not paying for her fare is supposed to make her cry? stamp her feet????
      2) so that tweep who said ” its not like shes a virgin” is the real reason there are stupid pple in life >>>what has virginity got to do with her PERSONAL NUMBER ????????????

      Hian…mehn i never knew stupid pple stille xist oh ..walahi… its amazing

    • Brighton Lad

      May 14, 2015 at 10:13 pm

      How is the man dumb for not paying for her? please explain…. Does paying for her make his IQ increase immediately.. Why is his decision not to pay for her now a problem….

    • m4

      May 14, 2015 at 6:40 pm

      @edDREAMZ
      How old are you? Cause you clearly don’t sound matured with such comment…As a boy you need to learn to accept ‘NO’for an answer.

    • FinchleysFinest

      May 14, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      Ed Dreams… I am sure you are one of Linda Ikeji’s popular reader and all… In Bella Naija we are thoughtful.. Your comment shows no depth . WE all have the right to DO whatever we want with out phone numbers.

    • Babym

      May 14, 2015 at 10:05 pm

      This Ed character is so razzzzzzzzz sha! Which kind gutter mentality be that lol!

    • Enn!

      May 15, 2015 at 8:46 am

      LMFAO!…eyaf pain you gan o….no offense but u’re just really stupid for ur comment.

    • Tkum

      May 15, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      see this yabaleft ode oo.. so u sabi type like this! choi…no doubt, ur brain dey as e dey!

    • Tkum

      May 15, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      @edreamz

    • tiny colored miracle

      May 23, 2015 at 1:04 pm

      Come here,*touches his temperature*…wat r u saying?!!!!!!

    • dahlia

      June 23, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      I’m sorry to say but you reason like a complete moron

  7. crazy times

    May 14, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    To ‘k’ you should never give out your number just because you think its easier, that means you don’t know how to say no. And babym the original tweeter mentioned nothing about feminism it was Bassey the poet, however she has a point. Its about choice and the right as a woman instead of being made to think you’re a bad person or above the man for saying no. The fact is if I have slept with 100 men and 100 more have my number and I’m not married that doesn’t mean I must give you my number, I don’t owe you and a childish ast like the one the man displayed says more about him than it does about me. And thats not a good thing, she dodged a bullet I say.

  8. Prec

    May 14, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    So because she called him petty for paying for all the other people except her, that means she was expecting him to pay for her? I’m not sure how the first relates to the later. And what does being a virgin have to do with giving out number? So because i’m not a virgin means i have to sleep with everyone that want to sleep with me or give out my number to everyone that wants my number, so in essence not being a virgin means you’re open field, onitsha market? I’m just sitting here tryna understand, just confused man.

  9. crazy times

    May 14, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    Childish *act*

  10. Hian

    May 14, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    Wait there is rule that you must give your number to ever guy asking for it? Who are these illiterates? I fear for some of these men. Very dense

    • fuke fuke brains

      May 14, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      a million likes…very dense and dunce indeed

  11. kole

    May 14, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    goshhhhh, this is why nigeria is in the toilet. bassey chop knuckle abeg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so wait, when a question is asked, there are two answers, either yes or no, she is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo entitled to not give him her number if she doesnt want to!! whether she is a virgin or a ho, she has a choice and she has the freedom to make a choice for pete’s sake, if she steps out of the cab and a poor old pot bellied one eyed fisherman asks for her number, if she chooses to she will give it to him, WOMEN HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if the man is so childish and wants to show her for not giving her his number, trust me, he has bigger issues and she dodged a flaming bullet. My brother always used to say it takes a lot to ask a girl out cause you have to be ready to hear a no, and thats just the truth. if that man applied for a job and didnt get it, will he go and pour blue paint on the interviewer cause he said no. GOD DANM, Naija man, why the eff are you so entitled!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are enough, women all over the world, we are enough, if we decide to allow you into our lives, its cause we choose to not for you to come and save us from ourselves and our existence biko!!!!!!!!

    she entered the cab so she clearly could pay for herself, so please keep your 62 naira or however much the cab was abeg,

    let me stop now before i pop a vein

    nigerian women we need to raise better sons, we must, this bullshit must end with us, must!!!!!!!!!

    • DoubleC

      May 14, 2015 at 5:14 pm

      gbam!!!

  12. olajumoke

    May 14, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Uncle @edDREAMZ, Please is it a crime to refuse to give someone anything? We all reserve the right to say yes or no and she should not be crucified for it… you are one of such men who collects numbers as a souvenir and boast about how many ladies you have slept with..Childish man!
    Please leave her alone!

  13. pinkie

    May 14, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    first of all, IMHO, CAB IS PERSONAL. there’s only room for you and your friends.. if you happen to board one with strangers, call it a TAXI!..lol..
    asides that, Don Bazzini, aka Ita momoh. I am ashamed of your tweet. best of both worlds you call it. why not allow your sisters enjoy the best of both worlds by giving their contacts to random taxi guys just for t-fare that is prolly 50Naira or less~ kmt!

    this isn’t FEMINISM bdw.

  14. Michele

    May 14, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    The point is that she does not HAVE to give anyone her number if she doesn’t want to. The fact that some men just expect women to hand over their number is ridiculous. So he wants to prove a point to her by not paying for her taxi ride? THAT is childish. Seriously, some naija men walk around with this weird superiority complex as if the ground they walk on were sacred. A real man wouldn’t have taken offense. Miss me with the bullshit!

  15. Rose

    May 14, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    @EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO there are a thousand other ways to express ones anger the desire to result to slapping should never be one of them.
    I very much hope your sister or nieces partners don’t have the same experience with you. With all respect you need to read the article above properly. Your reply sounds like you have jut skimmed it through.

  16. mockingbird

    May 14, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    is it by force to give number? ya”ll should shut the hell up and KMT!!!!

  17. vivianmorh

    May 14, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    @eddreams 1st slappin her is out of point and 2ndly itss her number she can give it to whoever she wants and can withhold it frm whoever she decides to withhold it from. Thank God she didnt give that babyman her number. What he did is a sign he is still a child and nt a grown man. And abt the responses she got it just goes a long way to show us the kind of fish brain guys we have out dia today.

  18. Naveah

    May 14, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    @edDREAMZ aka Edwin Chinedu Azubuko et al

    I don’t usually write in caps but meeeeeeeeeeeeeeen this has got me HEATED!!!!

    BIA BIKO, IS IT BY FORCE TO GIVE SOMEBODY YOUR NUMBER? ARE YOU PAYING FOR HER PHONE BILL? HER CREDIT? YOU SABI AM? OH PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK AND HALF! IF you asked and the lady say NO (she may have a man or she’s married or she doesn’t feel like being bothered, IT IS HER PEROGATIVE AND SHE DOESN’T OWN YOU AN EXPLANATION) THEN TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AND DON’T BE A JERK!

    IF some guy tried to force your sister for number, would you repeat the same nonsense? OR agree with the nonsense those people tweeted about the girl not being a virgin and all what not? SEE another person pickin na rubbish for una but una own na precious gem, abi?

    Talking about slapping Bassey Ikpi….of all the SEXIST, MISOGYNISTIC CRAP I HAVE EVER HEARD OF ON THIS SITE, DUDE CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF. YOU GO SLAP WOMAN BECAUSE HER OPINION DIFFERS FROM YOURS OR PERHAPS ITS BECAUSE SHE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ABOUT NIGERIA MEN?

    The BIG DEAL is she WAS NOT interested and IT IS HER RIGHT! Just because you ask doesn’t mean she has to automatically say YES. Did you get EVERYTHING you asked your mama for? OH PLEASE TAKE SEVERAL SCALDING HOT SEATS WITH THIS BS COMMENT! ARE FREAKING KIDDING ME?

    THE NUMBER IS NOT GOLD BUT YET YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT, ABI? IF a woman is “lying” about not having a phone or that it belongs to someone else, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT SHE MIGHT BE SPARING YOUR FEELINGS? She may not want to EMBARASS you with an outright, HELL TO DA NO!? Or *gasp* it might actually be TRUE? TAKE A HINT, BUY A CLUE!

    NIGERIAN MEN ARE OVER SENSITIVE WITH THEIR FEELINGS. AND I blame their mothers who have raised them to believe that they are entitled to everything and they can do no wrong. GROW THE HELL UP, BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS! GET YOUR EGOS IN CHECK, YOU ARE NOT GOD’S GIFT TO EVERY WOMAN.

    See misinterpretation in action o….the person tweeting was NOT complaining about the A$$H not paying for her cab ride, her comment was more directed towards his petty nature! I’m sure when she got in the cab, she had her own money to pay otherwise, I’m sure she would have been on an Okada, a Bus or Walking.

    Please, go back and reexamine your views on women because presently it is totally WARPED! You think a woman owes you her phone number, omo YOU CRAZE. Don’t nobody OWE YOU ISH!

  19. Naveah

    May 14, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    *OWE*

  20. Naveah

    May 14, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Oh I see you, BN Post Police….I see you.

  21. le coco

    May 14, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    nigerian men are so entitled.. what was he guy trying to proove by paying for everyone else? that she has missed out? what a joker… abeg.. i will give my number to whoever i want… and from now on.. i will not make any of those excuses.. i dont have a fone, or i lost my number, i will straight up say no… and the man better respect it or jump off a cliff… i

    • tiny colored miracle

      May 23, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      Heheeh,d tin z he was neva gonna pay for everybody,oloshi jst wantd to display his babyish act by paying nd tinking he wil pay for d grl,mtchew

  22. Naked.Born

    May 14, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    JESUS FIX EET!

    Soooooo many deluded males/females up in here!

    I JUST……….

    MY HEAD WILL IMPLODE!

    ………I can’t!

  23. Ririgenius

    May 14, 2015 at 4:54 pm

    Everything in life is about CHOICE. Do you give your house address to strangers? No. Same thing implies with phone numbers. “Talk is constant” so that disturb yourself with the crazy commit.
    @edreams you’ve moved from phrase to lengthy write up.

  24. precy

    May 14, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    Bassey tell the mugu say she comot for house without T.fare?
    She ask the guy to pay for her?
    Even if she nor get no other person go pay for her?
    Pettiness indeed.
    The fare is probably not more than a hundred Naira, that’s if it up to.
    So because a woman refused to give you her number,you spent your minimum wage to pay for others except her. I weep for you!!
    I wish Bassey would see some comments here and see that those shallow minded people on twittter ain’t alone. Their likes are on BN too.

    Even if I nor get the T.fare I nor go trek. Abi the people when dey trek to Abj and otuoke get 4 kidneys? Mtchhheeeww

  25. Ephi

    May 14, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    What a petty guy. This is the kind of guy that would keep malice with his wife if they have a small argument.

  26. DoubleC

    May 14, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    Gbam!!!

  27. anonymous

    May 14, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Kai. Please ladies and gentle (and not so gentle) men, let us pray and educate our children, both male and female. The world is degenerating rapidly. Tolerance, Patience, Dignity, Integrity, Respect for peoples space, time and opinion is very important in addition to etiquette , proper manners and learning not to be sore losers. In other news … her number is exactly that …HER NUMBER. She has the right to give it to whomsoever she pleases. It is not public information. If you are looking for numbers to dial anyhow…go to yellow pages or your local directory.

  28. Joke

    May 14, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Abegi, based on the crap a woman has to take from the average 9aija guy, it’s too much to give your number to a guy riding in taxi with you. Call me greedy, na you know LOL. In the Western world it’s a different story because it is more civilized and several things are checked with 911, but in 9aija, as my aunt used to say, with a 9aija man and their rate of abuse be it verbal or physical and their chauvinistic mentality, it’s the financial stability that allows a woman to manage them because you are guaranteed to cry often, so it’s your choice to choose to cry on a water bed or on a mat, so “Mr. Rider” should continue to pay for everyone in taxis, except anyone he doesn’t want to pay for, with his whole salary, but he shouldn’t go and buy a car for himself and continue to think babes will cooperate and give him #. No be so oh, bros. Chikena!

  29. Jade & Dunni

    May 14, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    You women’s responses have given me life! Figuratively, of course. Men, I’m so happy when I read comments from women who know their worth and can stand, not bending to the whims of these overly entitled beasts.

  30. Naijexport

    May 14, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    ‘It’s not like she’s a Virgin’

    Well neither is your mother…

    • Tobi

      May 16, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      LMAO!

  31. kaycee

    May 14, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    The way most ladies on this site is going on about this is completely wrong. Ladies u can’t go jaw to jaw with men, u will definitely lose out, Nigerian men have a very huge ego and believe me strong words spoken forcefully ain’t going to cut it but rather strong words spoken softly will be the key to addressing some of issues pondering towards nigerian men. The magnitude of the men bashing going on, is very alarming, remember it takes two to tangle. Sometimes I wonder if it is one lady commenting with different ID, cos most ladies i meet in real life ain’t this bitter.

    • cindy

      May 15, 2015 at 12:20 am

      In short we should further carress your ego. And what is the talking about wining or losing? If you think relationships are competitions then smh…..

    • WarriChic

      May 15, 2015 at 5:11 am

      Kaycee’s comment, right here everybody, IS the reason we need feminism in Nigeria. I weep!

    • Di

      May 15, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      The woman aren’t bitter, they are disappointed. Why do some men like you always refer to women as bitter thinking they are demeaning them? That has no effect, words are not swords.
      Men should approach the situation with their unhealthy ego while the women SOFTLY approach????? The gutter mentality is sickening! Keep dreaming or better still turn gay and forget women.

  32. Playa

    May 14, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    Calm down girls. When you refuse a guy your number he knows you have assessed and judged him instantly, basically you think he’s not good enough to even speak with you and he has zero chance. Meanwhile dude knows that he’ll probably treat you better than majority of the douchebags you’ve slept with. So it damn well pisses a guy off, that instant judgement when you aint even heard what he has to say.

    So homeboy is red with rage and thinks to himself how can i get even? Aha! I’ll pay everyone’s cab fare except her! On the house Mr Driver! She can front all she wants e for don ENTER small.. No wonder she called it petty, e don pain am. He wanted to show her that he’s not broke and neither is he stingy, he’s a gentleman. Just tryna look at it from his perspective yo.

    Homeboy 1 Lady 1. All is fair in love and war.

    • Di

      May 15, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      Nah. The real score:
      fine girl 95 points bitter man 0 points.

    • Idomagirl

      May 15, 2015 at 6:19 pm

      You’re so childish.

  33. bruno FIERCE

    May 14, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    all the ladies on bellanaija are behaving as if all naija men are dying to have their phone numbers.
    stop fooling urself, when last did a guy ask for ur number? be truthful to ur self. lol

    pls keep ur phone numbers to ur selves but dont come here and start crying when u can’t find husband cause bruno will not console u.

    finally we are seeing the main reason why many nigerian girls can’t find husbands cause they are stuck up and don’t like giving men their numbers. lol
    this miss independent gangsterism u women are showing here, how long are u going to do this. one of my aunt use to do miss independent now look at her, she’s a bitter puss, old and alone.

    attacking ed dreamz cause he’s an easy target.lol

    what many are saying is, he should have still paid for her transport fare even after she said no when he asked for her number. why?

    we need feminism to protect us” from what exactly. using feminism for stupid intangible things, like transport fare. while women in other countries are using feminism to fight for equal pay and to fight female sex trade etc while our naija women are using feminism to fight for who will cook in the kitchen and who will take care of the children. smh

    all u feminist warriors where were u people yesterday when bellanaija posted the story about the 10 year old girl who got pregnant from rape. important issue like that concerning a young girl, I didn’t see any of u there instead it is transport fare that is cause all this noise. shallow much.

    • Nne umu boys

      May 14, 2015 at 9:52 pm

      Bruno,

      1. Nobody said the man must pay for the lady. The act of paying for other people to spite the lady is the topic of discussion here. He did not need to do such childish thing to prove anything, he did not need to pay for anyone at all!

      2. A woman will give her number to a guy she thinks she can get with. In some cases it may not be at the first request. If however she decides she wants no form of close communication with him it is her right to say no! There’s no rule that says if someone likes you then you must like them back. We do not after all get the attention of every guy we fancy and life continues.

      3. Bruno please argue constructively. Thank you!

    • DD

      May 15, 2015 at 9:27 am

      BellaNaija….. comments above is the reason my male friends dont ever visit your site. The ladies here are soooo bitter, it is disheartening. Let me share this here…. no harm as my friend wont check your site anyway.
      He was dating this lady who was very nice, intelligent and all. we were all rooting for them. Dude had confessed to me severally that she is the one. She started coming to this site (i know cos we discussed a topic from BN when she first clicked on it). My people… Babe started getting influenced by the response of ladies on this site to issues. Bad bad advice. My friend all of a sudden wasnt doing enough, she wanted this, cos that is the standard. WHOSE STANDARD? my guy wondered. He changed from telling us she is the one to she get small issues, has two sides and he isnt sure any more and he started hesitating. Till date., he is one leg in and one leg out of the relationship. If only she will stop reading your comments and be herself,,,, they would have gone very far now.
      You come here to say what you dont practice in your everyday life,,,, some young lady will read it and use it as a yard stick for measure.
      Please tone down this bitterness.. Men and Women have their fair share of entitlement and flaws all over the world. If a guy asks for your number and you refuse bluntly, probably embarrassing him since it is in a crowded place….. there is nothing ladylike with that. You can politely defer giving him until you alight from the vehicle. In that way, he doesnt get the number, but he is not embarrassed.
      Saying no to his request and expecting him to pay your fare is also entitlement, hope you know.

  34. Lydia

    May 14, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    The lady made a choice not to give her number (her choice, her right). The guy responded the way he wanted to (his choice and right). Some of the twitter comments were uncalled for (again, their choice and their right). Tying this to feminism, or that Nigerian men need to do better makes no sense to me. This is one guy’s decision, leave it at that, period.

  35. Brighton Lad

    May 14, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    So he asked for her number and she said no, no wahala there. The guy decides to pay for everyone with his own money except her and she came on twitter to rant. Did the guy come on twitter to rant about how she didn’t give him her number. This kind of attitude from women pisses me off….. Like i can’t understand what her problem is

  36. baby4u2

    May 14, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    @Bruno pls tall like an educated being.

    • bruno FIERCE

      May 14, 2015 at 11:25 pm

      loooool.

    • FinchleysFinest

      May 15, 2015 at 9:26 am

      Bruno and Ed Dreamz : Continue… (In Mama Peace’s voice)

  37. Rahama

    May 15, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    @DDI don’t understand what you mean by bitter comments. Personally I’ve become a better woman to my man since BN. If you and your mates don’t come here then it’s fine. It’s an avenue for us ladies to air our frustrations and trade stories. Do you know how many women have found peace coming to BN? The comments here are most times more important than the posts themselves. You didn’t say what your friends babe was complaining about though. I’m yet to read a post encouraging women to be materialistic and all those things Naija men complain about us. Is there any thing wrong asking that your man become less abusive, entitled, emotionally, and physically unavailable, faithful etc? Do your make friends read the posts and comments about being a better wife, lover, girlfriend and entrepreneur? How about the posts and comments and being more spiritual? Do the posts about dressing better and being more feminine offend you and your friends? I don’t know you DD but you sound responsible so I won’t go HAM on you ( see how respect begets respect? If you had talked funny I would have been forced to talk funny too).

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      May 15, 2015 at 2:49 pm

      Come and collect your hug whenever you’re ready. I read his comment and had that moment of mental exhaustion when you start getting worked up in your spirit because the commenter has very obviously misunderstood what the real issue is here…. but then, you stop yourself with the question, “Is this even worth the effort of a response?”. So, thank you for doing that for some of us.

      (Also, I remain confused about this whole issue of not letting down a guy who “toasts” you in public. He can embarrass you with unwanted advances in public but you’re not allowed to turn down his unrequested proposal in that same public forum? Issorait. We’re slowly but surely getting the memo now).

    • Did

      May 16, 2015 at 11:29 am

      I agree there are topics and comments that help direct women, but a lot of men bashing goes on here. It’s too much! You ladies should tone it down a little. That’s all we ask, a foreigner coming to this site can make a drastic conclusion about Naija men. But I have mixed with western guys too and apart their being more domestic and laws that are at their disadvantage that checks them,my dear, no difference o . You need to here listen to our discussions at sports bar. Just tone it a little.

  38. Amaka

    May 15, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    @DD, just pay attention to the supposed bitter women and you will see that its the simple frustration brought on by men who claim what they should not. Why on earth should the lady in question not have standards, or God forbid begin to question or demand certain things?

    What gives the silly individuals tweeting to throw in the “virginity” diss, simply because naija men believe personal attacks on a woman (body, beauty, sexual activity or lack of) is enough to make them retreat into their shells.

    I’ll be damned if a man ever decides to spite me (verbally or in any action whatsoever) because i refused to give him my number or pay him attention, and i do not respond in equal measure.

    Hypocritical people since BC arghh

  39. Rahama

    May 15, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    @DD btw she wasn’t expecting him to pay her taxi fare, she was just shocked a grown ass man would decide to ‘punish’ her (in his mind o) by not paying for her t-fare. I’m sure if you were in the taxi sef u ma sef for laugh.

    Come sef if your male friends don’t come to BN what are you doing here? Anyway you’re a smart guy for doing so though. I’m sure BN has changed your perception of how you see yourself as a Nigerian man and given you tips on how to be better. Encourage your mates to come ehn, no knowledge is lost o. Kizzez.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      May 15, 2015 at 2:50 pm

      That first paragraph… your hug is still waiting for you, oh. Come and collect.

    • Rahama

      May 15, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      @Mz Socially Awkward thanks for the cozy fuzzy wuzzy hugs….

  40. Tosin

    May 15, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Give number for wettin? I am amazed by how much space has been wasted here with absolute foolishness. Some of your ignoramus’ need to go get your head examined. She doesn’t owe anybody ANYTHING. I am so sick and tired of these ‘men’ (in quotes for a reason because most of you all that I am addressing are actually boys) that think they are somehow entitled to any and all female attention. Even if they look like Flava Flav and are as broke as MC Hammer and about as smart of grass. Some of you females need to get a backbone and some self-esteem. No is no is NO! Why do you think you have to defend that? It’s your right to dictate who you want in your space- the end. If I have to spend time blocking every fools number because I gave it to them out of ‘politeness’ that is time wasted. I could have used that time to floss my teeth or file a jagged nail- you know- something useful that benefits ME.

  41. Idomagirl

    May 15, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Nigerians….SMH.

  42. Temi

    May 15, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    @DD if anything you need to organize BN night (spin off game night) with your boys and sit their arses down and study the comments on this website as I am sure these will help you learn today’s women and take you far with them. We are not the mothers that raised you lot. We are the women you would love your sister or daughters to grow into I.e smart, intelligent, driven, self-sufficient phenomenal beings. We are not here to continue he lousy work your moms did raising you. Raheem we are here to revolutionize the word. Sad how Nigerian men still haven’t caught up with the movement that women are there equals not subordinates. This is BN and the caliber of women who post here are world class achievers not wrapper tying bintus.

  43. maria

    May 15, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    Funny how I and my friend were just talking about this yesterday. like seriously the men we are raising nowadays, I can’t shout. we talked about how men feel like women are slaves or house girls. you think I am your chef, your dry cleaner, you cleaner and your mummy and at the same time you want sex, and babies seriously, am I GOD? why men expect women to do it all why they do not. a guy once told me “Variety is the spice of life” but he at the same time said this only applies to men only men are allowed the privilege of enjoying the spice of life women have to be with only one spice no options. really? are you kidding me? for me I am not your maid so therefore get it together.

  44. karo

    May 16, 2015 at 1:37 am

    please BN,how do I get a link to all Mz Socially Awkward’s comments.

  45. DD

    May 16, 2015 at 11:57 am

    @mz socially awkWard et all, I have learnt the hard way not too drag issues with women, it’s always difficult to win. While madam R. Has valid points about the childish attitude of the man in question and the tweets that followed (which I think is unfortunate), a man will ‘hunt’ a woman he likes be it in a bus, market or situation. Please don’t embarrass them o. It is vey difficult to toast a babe, especially in public. But if he starts behaving like a jerk, eh en, dish it out to him. In case you don’t know, there are a good percentage of good guys in Naija, but do you Know what? They don’t last in the singles market. Also, women can also do better, because a lot of women are materialistic, and I swear this is not trying to sound cliché, some men assume flashing money is the easiest way to get their attention. This makes it hard to separate the serious ladies from the money hungry one.
    Madam R. My friends think It is gay for me to come up here. So there can’t be any hope for the boys BN night out?. Should I tell you the truth, most guys actually knows how to cook and do domestic work, they are just pretending and for good reason too. I can cook, all my friends from childhood to date can cook, but we need something to lord over you?Rahama et all, I close this case by saying you are right. That’s what I tell the wife when the argument don plenty. She becomes happy and I live in peace.?

    • Tobi

      May 16, 2015 at 10:48 pm

      Good for you DD,good for you.

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