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Can You Date a Partner with Physical Flaws? Watch OC Ukeje, Isio Wanogho and Demilade Roberts on #NdaniRealTalk

Adesola Ade-Unuigbe

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6It’s Tuesday and time for some real talk!!

Episode 5 of #NdaniRealTalk is here and we are really getting into the groove of things.

On today’s episode, host Cornelia O’Dwyer chats with OC Ukeje, Isio Wanogho and Demilade Roberts as they get real and honest about dating a partner with physical flaws.

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Watch and weigh in on the discussion below.

Adesola is the BellaNaija Head of Content and Digital Ventures. She is a BN stan.. Yes, things are that serious for her when it comes to BellaNaija.com. She's a lover of gist, novels, music, and food. She's constantly trying not to take life for granted. She spends most of her time either keeping up with the world on the Internet or sharing some acquired knowledge about digital media. She is passionate about using her voice to speak against injustice, especially towards women. To communicate with her directly, you can hit her up on: Instagram - @adesola.au Twitter - @Adesola_AU

84 Comments

  1. Sonia Paloma

    August 11, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    I actually loved this
    BTW, Isio what is happening to weekly writing? please we need you back here biko lol

    • Que

      August 11, 2015 at 3:46 pm

      Isio ‘haff go’ AWOL on our storytime tuesday only for us to ‘cash’ her doing amebor in another purzon house on the same tuesday….Sister Isio, heaven is watching you ooo!!! *in Aki’s voice*

    • Shi shi

      August 11, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      BLIND MUSIC PRODUCER??? You shoudl have just said COBHAMS. jEEZ

  2. Pls where is Isio Knows Better

    August 11, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Plssssssssssss BN, I have been looking for your email so I could ask for my Tuesday Tuesday Morning Tonic (Isio Knows Better). Chaiiiiiiiiii, I haff missed her oooooo! No Isio Knows better for the last 2 abi na 3 Tuesdays now, only for me to see this video (I never watch am sef).
    Isio if you see my comment, abeg wetin happen na, you no give us any warning say u dey go off radar! Pls commmmmeeeee BACK! I MISS YOUR ARTICLES

  3. cryingneversolvedanything

    August 11, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    This convo was everywhere. The first half just had the entire group grilling Cornelia

  4. southerbelle

    August 11, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    this came at the perfect time. i have bad i mean BADDDDDDDDDDD stretch marks inshort the marks are now moving and looking like a map. i am worried but i am trying to not think about it.

    sigh! struggle of a lepa turned orobo

    • Priscy

      August 11, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      My dear don’t let that affect your peace of mind much
      They are there…worrying will not make them disappear.
      There a few things you can apply to make them look a bit faded, but it will not disappear sha
      You will still find someone who will love you for you

    • Adenike

      August 11, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Your skin is stretching at a faster rate than normal, that is the reason for the stretch mark severity. What you should do is apply Shea butter to your stretch marks (it worked for me). It makes it look better. Also try bio oil, I hear it works but I haven’t tried it. There are also some stretch mark products by Dr Organics that you can try.

    • Jhennique

      August 12, 2015 at 10:52 am

      Shea butter babe. massage it in twice a day babe. It works……….That is if you are not beaching or doing anything to ruin your skin (no offence meant)

  5. Andrew

    August 11, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    So many Nigerian girls in our generation will remain single forever. How can you not want to date someone because he sweats.. Thats ridiculous. Nigeria is a freakinghot country, everybody sweats

    • Sonia Paloma

      August 11, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      Until you find yourself in a situation it is best not to judge
      Everyone has a breaking point and what might work for one might not work for another. That is why most Nigerians suffer in silent for fear of being criticised
      She does not like an oversweaty man, how does that equate to her being single
      BIKO, I will rather walk away from something I know irritates me than put up with it for society’s sake and then end up being UNHAPPY. Life is too short for that agbo with overload nonsense abeg 🙂

    • O.O,

      August 12, 2015 at 4:27 am

      How can someone’s physical “flaws”, things they were born with, things they have zero control over, irritate another human being so much? Google Nick Vujicic. Born without arms and legs yet his wife, a drop-dead gorgeous model, is now pregnant with their second child. Meanwhile, someone somewhere in Lagos right now is praying “Holy Ghost let my husband locate me,” but refusing to give a nice guy a chance because he’s sweaty or, God forbid, has tribal marks. Everyone has their “flaws” – let’s stop judging others by theirs in an attempt to conceal ours.

    • Zeeebby

      August 11, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      Nothing ridiculous about it….I believe she spoke for HERSELF and not for YOU….

  6. Kk

    August 11, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    Wow oc ukeje sounds super intelligent. Glad to see him in a talk.

  7. DAME

    August 11, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Demilade Roberts pls am single lols …nice to meet you

    • Aproko

      August 11, 2015 at 3:45 pm

      SORRY!! Yetunde has hooked him…

    • Duchess Maria

      August 11, 2015 at 4:05 pm

      There is one babe that was dragging other girls on Twitter ontop his matter. I hope its the same girl because she really showed us her ride or die movements that day.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 11, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      hahaha

    • temz

      August 12, 2015 at 7:20 am

      Haha he is HOOKED!!! YETTY 😀

  8. Que

    August 11, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    I am with the guests this week…. O! The part about the wonky eye….Pls Dear Cornelia it is nevea a wise idea to throw that kind of insult around even on your worst day…. surely u can pause and walk away before you remind the person they have wonky eyes……that’s of course if you’re interested in keeping the relationship over winning a temporary battle….

    This was the best set of guests for me… and they broke this issue down well… For the first time though, I gotta say I wasn’t feeling Connie…. also, incase any Ndani person reads this, kindly suggest a change in her intro… every single episode has begun with just about the same line “…the other day, my friends and I were talking..” .. or “…I was talking with a friend….”….every single week!!! There are many sources of engaging conversational topics….explore different intro options from these.

    Will be watching next week. Kudos.

    • bunny

      August 11, 2015 at 2:23 pm

      i thought i was the only one that noticed the “i was talking with my friend phrase” and why does Bimbo Craig have to always giggle at the background….

  9. lotusflower

    August 11, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    The first few minutes and I was already rolling my eyes. Cornelia is extremely superficial, almost to a level of being appalling.

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 11, 2015 at 4:25 pm

      she is her own person. She knows what she wants which is admirable and I think it is wrong for you to judge just because it is not in line with you values.

  10. Easy n Gentle

    August 11, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    While watching the street interview, the memory of ‘I cripple waka comot played in my head’. Certainly the best street interview ever

  11. Chika

    August 11, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    I’m with Isio on the height thing. Just never been attracted to short guys. Some things can be over looked and some can’t e.g Body Odour.
    Oc dunno why u bothered coding everyone knws who ‘ur friend’ n ‘the blind guy’ are.
    Meanwhile this Demilade, there’s something about him……..anyone know his I.G.

    • bunny

      August 11, 2015 at 2:40 pm

      @demilader

    • Mee

      August 11, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      @demilader you are welcome 🙂

    • Tari

      August 11, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      Lala dated Cobhams?

  12. Sabifok

    August 11, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    I like the concept of the show, though i feel the subject matter can be wider topics than love, relationship, marriage, co-mingling etc,

    I would say this though, from watching this episode and some of the others

    When the host said she would not date someone with tribal marks, the look Isio gave her was crazy. Like “what you talking about Willis”. Not dating someone with tribal marks eliminates like 60 per cent of the population na.

    I feel the host has taken some very superficial positions from the shows I have seen, and I am not sure if it is down to naivety or inexperience or immaturity; or if she is just opinionated. So far she has said that – she would not date somebody with tribal marks. She also said a boyfriend/husband should give his wife/girl pocket money. She also said husbands must go from prospects to full responsibility within 6 years of marriage.

    OC Ukeje was brilliant and made some salient points, and Demilade’s story about his brother was inspiring. Isio seemed a bit out of her element – maybe it was just nerves.

    At the end of the day everyone knows what traits they can live with in their partner. But love is not just a feeling, it is a decision.

    • Asgrl

      August 11, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Your name/alias “Clutches Pearls” …so Wrong LOL!

    • zibaintl

      August 11, 2015 at 10:36 pm

      u just hit d nail on d head n dats ur last statement……love is nt just feeling but a decission……feelings will fade away sooner or later but most pple do not undstnd dis…..but wen u decide to love irrespective of wat u c, d r/ship continues to grow.

  13. tosin

    August 11, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    demilade roberts has a very big mouth on twitter and yet cant really say a word on live TV,…SMH

    • nene

      August 11, 2015 at 10:11 pm

      lmfao. i was shocked he didn’t really talk much. maybe he wasn’t interested in the topic of discussion.

  14. ednutey

    August 11, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Its true that u dont conclude about people until you know their story…I see this Demilade guy almost e’day and im like this guy just be wearing shorts up and dan and be forming over-cool,now I know his ‘story’ Im sure i wont be beefing from a distance. Lol

  15. Author Unknown

    August 11, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    I believe in one thing, and that’s that if you’re comfortable in your own skin, other people’s flaws will matter little to you. Being comfortable in your own skin also comes with experience and maturity. Good luck in life’s journey.

  16. Pretty girl

    August 11, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    Iso so u want us now to beg u to come back abi were ever u are just they pack all your bags and start coming home. It’s not fair oh I am missing u badly chi plsssssssssss just come back.

  17. SweetyP

    August 11, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    I kinda agree with Que on Connie’s intro…same thing every week

    Aside that, this topic really hit home for me.
    There is this guy that is seriously disturbing me, like he wants to marry me this second
    He is super caring, fears God and hardworking.
    His flaw….he is “igbotic” to the core
    His dressing, his music, every thing just screams local igbo boy
    Although his intonation is not bad and can express him self well, but all others just kills me mehn.
    I keep wondering if I can bear it.
    We had a date last week and when I turned up, you need to see the Jeans and Shirt he was putting on…..original ‘made in Aba’ cloth. If you see the way he rushed to hug me there ehn, I was so embarrassed
    He is a really good guy, like the kind of guy that can be there for you, just that that flaw keeps drawing me back.
    And I am Igbo sef
    I need advise pls!!!

    P.S: Cornie is Very very beautiful
    Isio why have you been keeping me thirsty for the past 2 weeks?

    • cryingneversolvedanything

      August 11, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Do you like him?

    • Justme

      August 12, 2015 at 9:26 am

      Question for the gods

    • chigirl

      August 11, 2015 at 4:55 pm

      SweetyP, I feel you. Was in a similar situation too, d guy was good, caring, successful, etc but i thought he was too local. However, i gave him a chance and realized he was intelligent and had well-rounded view of life. Gradually, the loki eye i was using to view him vanished. Pray about it & give him small chance, u never know!

    • BlueEyed

      August 11, 2015 at 7:54 pm

      My dear SweetyP, please take a man who cares about you and will be there for you over a sophisticated man that will not make you happy…..If u like him and he is good to you plus hard working my dear take that wood and smoothen the edges, that’s why God placed you there, be the woman you were created to be and add to that’s brother’s life!

  18. Sky Blue

    August 11, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    OC is so intelligent!

    I enjoyed this episode.

  19. Made

    August 11, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    i don’t think people really set out to date/marry anyone with flaws ab initio and nobody ,apparently, wants to be the “flawed” guy/girl but life happened/happens. so what do we do? let the flawed marry the flawed abi?? eventually that perfect person that you date or marry may just have an accident and lose both eyes or become quadriplegic. Like OC said, some of these wants became less realistic especially as we grow older and wiser. that is not to say that you should abandon able-bodied men and carry one of the halt beggars at Maryland and marry. Just don’t let only the physical ability be the determining factor in choosing whom you decide to be with.
    meanwhile, I really really like Cornelia jare..loving the Nigerian inflection in her “accent”.

  20. Jane.

    August 11, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    Mehn the host just seems sooooo superficial. Babe is talking about stretch marks being a flaw and chick is not looking in the mirror,You are overweight my friend. I am sure your own stretch marks will be unbelievable. I love all shapes and sizes and I love my curvy sisters,but this Connie babe dey vex me.

  21. Manny

    August 11, 2015 at 3:28 pm

    This set of guests, their head dey there. Timini would have fit in perfectly too. As for sweating, I understand isio. However, when there is love, you find solutions. In this case, perhaps advice the dude to see a doctor. There are prescription antiperspirants that might help. There might be some sweat pores therapies out there.
    I know it’s fiction but imagine if Jane Eyre had said blind Mr Rochester, God forbid bad thing.

    • Cindy

      August 11, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      She was already in love with Mr. Rochester before he became blind

    • Manny

      August 12, 2015 at 5:08 am

      I know that Cindy but trust me some people would have fallen out of love fast at the mention of any disability. I’m talking about her choice to marry him.

  22. Duchess Maria

    August 11, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    I’ve always wondered about Isio and her aversion to bodily fluids. She has also written about not liking sweat and saliva in the past. So if ya nacking and bobo is sweating on you (which is standard), is it a turn off? Do you also dislike kissing since that involves heavy exchange of saliva?
    I’m truly curious. But anyway sha abeg come back with your Tuesday bants abi you and BN haf fight?

    • Author Unknown

      August 11, 2015 at 4:56 pm

      Kissing involves heavy exchange of saliva? Please learn to kiss properly. Lol.

    • Duchess Maria

      August 11, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      LOL

  23. Tunmi

    August 11, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    I agree with Demilade. When you love someone, their physical appearance is not the most important thing. My ex had a big head. His head has been the same same since he was born. And when we fight, that does not even enter the fight because it just doesn’t. I just don’t play dirty period. It’s the INTJ in me, I focus on the issue at hand and how to resolve it. When you love someone, personal jabs shouldn’t come up in fight. And if it does, that is a serious power play.

    And that comment about Cornelia’s “I gave you a chance” despite your tribal marks or wonky eye is such utter f!ckery. Everyone deserves to be loved, whether they have a physical deformity kr a mental illness. I’m glad she is honest with herself and doesn’t even go further with guys like that. But if anyone says that to you,”at least I gave you a chance despite your social status, despite your physical appearance” please run. That is NOT love. That’s pity. And you deserve much more than that. There are millions of people in Naija and close to a billion people in this world, you can and will find someone who loves you for you: pimples and all, lepa or orobo, tall or shorty, tribal marks or no. But the tribal marks she was talking about, I found those cute.

  24. som

    August 11, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Mehn these comments on here are hilarious…hohohohohoho…ill be back..”‘going to microwave my chicken pie that also happens to be my miserable lunch::….BN, keep the comments rolling in. The demilade sha…seems he will be a bit talkative…..I just feeel so..ILL BE BACK

    • Super Mario

      August 11, 2015 at 9:50 pm

      Ofcourse, it is a miserable lunch with all the radiation from the microwave going inside the chicken pie 🙂

    • som

      August 12, 2015 at 8:37 am

      hahahahahaha…super mario, mind yourself….when the lunch lady always seems to b at logger heads with everyone na, let her not go put something in my food, hence d chicken pie

  25. sika

    August 11, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    Dear Isio,
    Sweating is natural for some. A lot were born that way. Excessive sweating, or hyperhidrosis, can be a warning sign of thyroid problems, diabetes or infection…or sometimes because people are overweight. There are treatments for this. Iontophoresis, drugs to stop the sweat glands from doing too much, surgery and even botox. So to hear you say you cant date someone who sweats is just weird…especially as there are solutions. I just hope you havent chased the man God made for you because he sweats. Sorry…but that was fickle.

  26. Tari

    August 11, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Stretch marks???
    You no get problem.
    My lady has them plenty without even being fat. I told her not to bother with Bio oil, she no hear. No na only she tire.
    There are bigger issues in life. If it does not affect your self-esteem, live with it.
    If it affects your self-esteem, try and focus on bigger issues in life and learn to manage it in the interim.
    Best wishes.

  27. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    August 11, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    On a maybe not so lighter note, I don’t know if the inability to speak good English is a “physical disability”. I mean, I believed I could cope to a large extent with other things, but I drew the line at “grammatical handicaps”.

    So I met one fine brother some time ago whose mixture of tenses could create another dictionary on its own. For me, that was the height of physical disability. But he was also incredibly caring and selfless. I did not know when the “lack of English” became a far distant issue.

    But Alas, (Yes I know, I did that for emphasis) I began to see that I could not relate with him because he did not understand when I spoke. Words had to be broken down when we conversed, and soon gisting became a task, because I had to interpret everything I said. I could not cope. All the care in the world could not make up for the number of times I heard “please can you summarize?” We never made it past the “I like you talk your own stage”.

    I love words. I love to play with them. I love the way they can be made to mean anything by inflection or context. Not being able to do that with a potential partner is high risk. I never thought I could do it. But I was in a situation where I was willing to. I could not.

    • esta

      August 11, 2015 at 5:31 pm

      Thank u so much for this I thought I was alone.i am a talker.I love carrying on intelligent conversations and it irks me when a guy can’t do that with me,then we can’t be in a relationship cos I will get bored i just can’t deal……

    • le coco

      August 12, 2015 at 12:37 pm

      me too.. poor grammar is a turn off.. nd i dont mean on social media, where mistakes are likel;y to be made.. if your grammar is poor while we are having a face to face convo… abeg i cnt… bt thank God i hvnt been a situation where i liked a guy nd he cldnt speak properly….
      oh oh before i forget. slow guys are also a turn off.. nd by slow i dont mean a mental disorder or watever.. but like when you are not enthusiastic and motivated about anything at all.. when our conversations are just blaaah….. ahh oga. i will jst shift kia kia frm your front

  28. Tari

    August 11, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Cornelia O’Dwyer is feeling like what?

  29. cryingneversolvedanything

    August 11, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    Question is… Do you like him?

  30. veechu

    August 11, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    There comes a.time in marriage and not.relationship or.wedding when physical attraction will.not count.

  31. grace

    August 11, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    And this is one of the reasons run gehs marry good men oh.

    They have slept with everything and everyone their only preference being money that they take the time to marry a good man whether he sweats or not

    That said, I can’t get married to short man

  32. Asgrl

    August 11, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Honestly after 5 episodes, Cornelia comes off as extremely immature. Only Brad Pitt will do for her.

    • Asgrl

      August 11, 2015 at 6:46 pm

      I wasn’t a big fan of OC. I hated when he joined Gidi Up. You know what he won me over with his maturity in this discussion.

  33. Lou

    August 11, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    I’m tempted to hit the host below the belt but I won’t. She’s talking about physical appearance but cleverly doesn’t talk about dating an overweight person, no one is perfect that’s all I’m saying

    • Shalsl

      August 11, 2015 at 7:46 pm

      Erm dude Cornelia listed fat among the things she listed go and listen again. The fact that she listed those things doesn’t mean she see them as flaws but that there are people who see them as flaws hence she tries to push the conversation by being borderline, y’all should give her space please.
      There are mamy of you here judging her who won’t go out with someone with tribal marks besides its not common in Nigeria anymore except among older people. Trutu is there are a lot of people who do tye very things she is bringing up like using flaws to attck a person when they have a disagreement, lets not pretend like things like that dont happen and label her shallow, she is simply bringing up issues.

    • Shalsl

      August 11, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Truth* the* attack*

  34. nwanyi na aga aga

    August 11, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    I think a lot of people should relax about Cornelia, someone gats to spice up the show. It will be extremely boring if everybody agreed with the good vibe. I believe she is representing a whole chunk of ppl out there who just cant.

  35. elsa

    August 11, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    yawnnnnnn….where do i begin? i hv a perfect husband.well according to some people..rich,drop dead handsome,educated,fit but i wish i could get the opposite that will always b there for me..life is not fair…..

  36. No wonky eye

    August 11, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    After watching a couple of these, I wonder if the host Cornelia is just being ‘shallow’ because it makes for good conversation and watching. Love her accent tho….wherever it’s from. At the end of the day, if love isn’t in the equation, then all these petty things will matter. Simple. Like one of the guest said…when you LOVE someone…..
    #thatisall

  37. Lola

    August 11, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    Cornelia is so pretty!!

  38. Adenike

    August 11, 2015 at 9:20 pm

    First, it’s this appearance thing that has made people enter bad marriages. Just check out the stories that touch on Linda Ikeji. And the woman will be saying “I felt on top of the world” after marrying him… “I conquered them all”. Not knowing that if it is competition you used to enter, it is competition you will use to stay in charge. You don’t eat charm in marriage, so forget all that “he’s such a charmer”. Personally, physical appearance matters, but not up to the point of foolery. I would rather marry Fat Albert who treats me right, can grow with… complementing each other… than Six pack Bobo, who will erase every form of self esteem down the line, and take me back to zero.
    As for the age thing. I find it stupid that you wait till you are 35 before you have real standards. I feel that you should have a benchmark from a young age, so that you avoid the time wasters along the way. The way some people live like life is divided into 20s, 30s and so on. My dear it’s one continuous life! The things you do in your 20s snowball into your 30s, and so on.
    Please be wise, don’t wait till you are 30 before you make wise decisions.

  39. Pat

    August 11, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Dear Cornelia, u said age affects over looking the flaw. I kind of disagree. Age does not always affect over looking the flaw, maturity does and maturity doesn’t always come with age. A 21 yr old individual can be more mature than a 35 yr old.

  40. nene

    August 11, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    oc is so articulate, well mannered and handsome (never thought i’d say that). i’m impressed. he looks good and is quite intelligent. cornelia with the way you reason i don’t think you’ll get married or be able to form meaningful platonic relationships with other people, for someone your age, i expect more maturity but you’re still stuck in disneyland. you need to change this attitude of looking down on people, because the only thing going for you is your cute face..you’re not rich or slim/fit and you’ve not really achieved much as many people of your age gave, but then it’s your life. i love the show though!

  41. Nia

    August 12, 2015 at 1:49 am

    Isio is so pretty gawsh, this episode didnt do it for me so I’m waiting patiently for the next one and Cornelia pls change your opening line ” I was talking to a friend” looks like or seems like you gossip alot and it just boring really
    Show producer aunty wey dey alwas feature for back pls come up with a more creative line for connie

  42. Nia

    August 12, 2015 at 1:51 am

    Demilade twitter landlord so you cant make noise in real life in front of camera lwkmd oga you be audio just for the twitter streets

    • FasholasLover

      August 12, 2015 at 3:49 am

      @Nia, u are wikid. Lol @ Twitter lanlord.

  43. Benito

    August 12, 2015 at 3:48 am

    Who’s this fat B!$#h again? Do you know how much fat B!$#hes sweat and smell. Girl bye!!!!!!!!!!

  44. yeah

    August 12, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Isio we miss u/ur articles.

  45. Ashaby

    August 13, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Isio, that is why you will not send Tuesday write up and you want us to pretend all is well in BellaVille abi? God is ‘walshing’ you in 15D

  46. anthony

    August 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    They kind off segwayed from physical flaws to disability….but they gave factual,realistic and matured responses. The guy in the black T-shirt really impressed me….thumbs up to him. He showed he was vulnerable but was brutally honest about coping with ill people and age related problems

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