“They are just distracted” Timi Dakolo on Why Men Cheat, His Family & More

Singer Timi Dakolo was featured alongside IK Osakioduwa and Richard Mofe-Damijo on the cover of Genevieve Magazine’s latest issue (click here if you missed it) and now we’ve got a look inside his interview with the mag where the father of 3 talks about everything from fatherhood, to love and more.

See excerpts below.

On what love is: Love is to know someone to a great extent and to be patient enough with his or her imperfections. Saying I love you is to know you for who you are, flaws and all.

On deciding to get married: Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. I knew she would be my wife when in the course of the relationship I saw attributes I liked. She would stop me halfway through my pessimism and tell me to dream big. She came with a painter and changed the interior of my house because she hated the way my house looked and I would think to myself wetin this ajebo dey talk?  She gave me fashion advice and she was my fondest aproko partner. I knew I would spend forever with her.

On his wife: [Busola is] Industrious. She hates being idle. She loves family, infact you cannot come into her family space. She also likes to be in the know; she wants to know my projects and is always willing to contribute. She also likes to travel. I could never marry a woman that is not going anywhere and is unwilling to learn new things. I believe there are many ways to skin a cat; there is never just one way of doing something. I also cannot marry a woman who cannot manage money. If you cannot manage your money, how will you manage our money?

On if his wife was making more money than him: I do not have a problem with marrying a woman richer than me as long as she gives me my respect and listens to me. There is nothing a man loves more than the respect he gets from his wife. Women love attention but men love to be respected. You can be the boss lady in the office but when you get home, you should care for and respect your husband.

On why men cheat: They are just distracted. A certain pastor gave me a very wonderful illustration. She poured water from an old glass into a new glass and gave me to drink, after that she poured water from the new glass into the old glass and she gave me to drink then she asked me if the water tasted different. She said that is how women are. It’s the same woman in different packages. There will always be a better, classier and more beautiful woman but that shouldn’t distract men.

On being patient and loving in a marriage: My wife woke up one morning and said she wants be a photographer and attend the New York film Academy. If you don’t want problems in your life, when your wife comes up with a spontaneous idea, just agree.  Women are very interesting. I think every woman has her own wahala. You might be talking about something totally different and they bring up something from the past that you had apologised for. I’m forced to think they do it when there is so much peace and they feel the need to spice things up. It’s a very funny thing indeed. If you marry for love, love will be your driving force but if you marry for money or beauty whatever was the attraction is what you’ll need to sustain it. Let love and compatibility be the driving force for marriage because if you marry for beauty, Wetin face north today go face south tomorrow unless you buy a clip to help her hang it.

On wedding expenses: Don’t pressure your self to do a wedding that society expects of you; printing a wedding invitation that looks like a visa. In life you are your own competition.  Whether you have money or not, it doesn’t get easier after marriage. Budget and plan according to what you have. No one will come to check your suit to see how much you spent on it.

Read more from his interview here and be sure to pick up a copy of Genevieve Magazine for other features.