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Sunmbo Adeoye gives 7 Precious Tips to Single Parents

BellaNaija.com

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Sunmbo Adeoye and Pastor David Adeoye_sonsSunmbo Adeoye gave a talk to single parents at her husband, Pastor David Adeoye‘s church Royalty Christian Centre a few months ago and Kemi Filani attended.

She talked about the steps you should take as a Christian single parent, and even gave personal examples like what she was doing when her children’s father 2Baba proposed to Annie Idibia on Valentine’s Day in 2012. (His other baby’s mother was pregnant at the time.)

Here are excerpts of the 7 major points the blogger noted from the message, you can see the entire transcript on Kemi Filani’s Blog.

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1. Seek God

Stop blaming yourself…seek God, ask him for forgiveness (if you defiled the bed by engaging in fornication).

2. Forgive yourself, let go of the guilt.

The child has already happened, you shouldn’t always get angry or feel guilty about your past…forgive yourself……and move on….

3. Trust God.

Trust God in all your ways.

I remember when I used to be a single mom, I knew what I wanted. For about five years, my prayer point was God give me a man after your own heart, lord let your will be done, I let go of my choice for the choice you want for me, I let go of everything that I see as picture perfect. I made this my prayer point everyday. I would be like God, I have tried my best I am overwhelmed, there is nothing I can do…when you pray such prayers, make sure you don’t have a different expectation because as at the time my answer to the prayers came, it came in form of a pastor, and i am like for real, No oh,I know I was asking for a man but not a Pastor. And then the holy spirit reminded me that you are after a man after my heart and I am giving you David, what else do you want?…and then I succumbed.

I remember when I was a single parent, i was working in a Bank and was comfortable, so I wasn’t begging anybody for anything…but one sister came to meet me and said, sister Sumbo you know you are looking for a husband to marry, you better pack your car and always use all this danfo buses as your means of transportation so that you can easily get a man to notice you…they won’t notice you easily if you are driving a car oh. Enter bus and stop driving car up and down…the society gives you ridiculous advises….some will say go to clubs…yet you are asking for a man after God’s heart.

4. Wait

When you ask God for something, the answer may not come early.

In my own case, i waited for 8 years. The answer may not come quickly because God is trying to re-mold you, to break you, to prepare you so as to ready for the testimony he is about to give you….because if he gives it to you on a platter of gold, you may not appreciate it.

5. Do not be desperate

Take your time. As a single parent, don’t rush into a relationship, desperation will make you accept just anything. E.G at 21, as a lady your dream is a tall dark and handsome man…then you turn 25…then 35+ …….you now start saying any man that fears God (whether he has a job or not) is okay for you as long as he can marry you and give you a child…this is desperation…these things happen for real.

I remember the day when my baby daddy proposed to his girlfriend, I was on the list of those that will take praise in church for that Wednesday..well I had known what was going on but it didn’t affect me because I had known what I want, so I had let go of that choice for God’s will for me…so i came to church, I was leading the Praise session and everyone was just looking at me with pity eyes like ‘omo yi o mo nkan ti on sele (this girl doesn’t know what’s going on o)’… after service, one sister even came to me and said it is well and in my mind, I am like what happened, did somebody die? … The person felt I was faking that I wasn’t hurt by the proposal but she and the others didn’t know I had been healed by God for my own expected end… so don’t be desperate.

5. Be positive to receive

Everyone who sees you as single parent will definitely judge you at first even without hearing your story… it is normal, I have been there, I know what I am saying…but don’t let that discourage you…..

6. Pray and seek God always

Even if you have seen someone to marry you, don’t stop praying constantly….have the word of God in your heart…it helps.

7. Go for Counselling

***

Remember, if you are a single parent who would like to inspire others, you can submit your stories to [email protected]! Click here for more info.

The subject of the email should be “Single Parent Pod”.

12 Comments

  1. Truth

    March 29, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    I am so happy for Sunmbo and how her life turned out. Iv never met her but something tells me she has a nice personality and good character. And by good character I mean a good heart. Not necessarily meaning she hasn’t experienced life or sin.
    I always say it that I will never judge a single mother. I actually admire them. They could have taken the easy way out and had an abortion. But they decided to damn the consequences, d stares, d gossiping, and keep their baby. A typical single mother in our society is smtimes seen as loose, as immoral etc. Even ppl on dis same blog have ridiculed Anna banner, Whiz kids baby mama, Davido and d rest (so nobody shld cum for my choice of words).
    Some landlords even go as far as saying they don’t rent houses to single mothers.
    It isn’t easy especially when d father isn’t involved, it requires a lot of strength. A lot of women don’t become single mothers by choice, but by circumstance.
    I know because I was raised by a single mum, lost my dad at a very tender age and I know what my mum went thru financially, emotionally and psychologically.
    I can remember many atimes my mum will just burst into tears, it cld be smthn as little as me trying to choose what school to attend, when I’m ill, even when things just go wrong. Every woman needs that support from a man, not even financially, but someone to make decisions with.

    It’s time we stop bashing single mums, if it isn’t you. It cld be ur sister, cousin, or even ur daughter in d future.

  2. Lagos is my home

    March 29, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Awwww bless her .
    She did offer some good point and what i got mostly was not to sell urself short because you feel desperate. ..let go and let God take over

    All the best to her and her home

  3. Chinedu

    March 29, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    This is so touching. I cried reading it. Being a single mother is really tough,especially when dealing with Africans. However God does his own thing in his own time. I think she is even more blessed than Annie Idibia. She does not have to deal with any babymama drama.

  4. tosin

    March 29, 2016 at 10:44 pm

    Awww. Sumbo I’m so glad u put up dis write up. It changed a perspective of my life. I’m a single mother too and I’m glad I read dis. Tnks

  5. Late bloomer

    March 29, 2016 at 11:21 pm

    Really good to hear from the perspective who ” has been there” God bless you Sumbo

  6. Sophia

    March 30, 2016 at 12:46 am

    Am happy for you Swt. If God had answered your prayers and you had married 2face, what will life had been. A Blessing in disguise I call this

  7. Tee

    March 30, 2016 at 1:30 am

    God bless you dear! Your message is a blessing to both single parent and single women.

  8. PD Young Billionaire

    March 30, 2016 at 5:00 am

    Thank God for you Sumbo.May God continue to bless your home.
    As a single person,if you honour God by praying to him and allowing him choose your partner for you,you will enjoy peace.He will give you the perfect person.God truly makes the difference.

  9. chioma

    March 30, 2016 at 5:22 am

    Thank you Ma. Keep shiniNg

  10. ...just saying

    March 30, 2016 at 7:19 am

    Errr! I thought this was about raising the kids. but no, it was about re-marrying. Sigh

  11. Talker

    March 30, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Nice write up Sumbo, I hope this uplifts even young widows out there. My mother was one and I dare say even though she was minding her hustle with her children some people still aired poorly informed opinions about her situation.it’s really a hard world for single parents.

  12. Billionaire in grace

    March 30, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    Thanks you ma’am I am really touched about this write up.I am a single lady and I want a good man.
    All I can do is to wait upon the Lord

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