I am a 26 year old lady in a relationship with a 30 year old guy. We are Christians and therefore we have a ‘No sex before marriage’ decision. We have our differences but we settle and get better.
Le boo works as a contract staff whilst also rounding up his part time masters program in a Nigerian university. He earns less than a hundred thousand Naira per month. He is hardworking and hates being idle. He caters for himself and pays his present school fees though he lives with a family member.
I on the other hand left a ‘good’ job last year because I just couldn’t see my future there even though I am a certified professional in that field. I did other things, travelled to 21 states in Nigeria with just a sleep over bag spontaneously, did PA for free for months in an industry I had an interest in, volunteered and basically ‘found’ myself. I am resuming a new job in my desired field second week in May. The pay isn’t great as I am taken as a fresher in that field though I have a MBA in it but no experience. I would be getting at least one hundred and twenty thousand (120k) monthly.
The issue now is Le boo doesn’t want us to plan settling down till he earns better. We are hopeful but right now nothing is sure. I on the other hand think we should consciously start planning our future. Can’t we start with what we have? Can 200k a month really not take care of us in marriage? I do not believe in ‘my money’ ‘your money’. I believe in being truly friends and partners, knowing he isn’t a lazy man. His mum had to become the bread winner after a crisis that left his dad incapable . This led to him tensing up about not being the bread winner in our future home.
I am even ready for us to start with just a self contained apartment (a room, convenience and kitchen). We could even wait out having kids the first year right? I want to be married. He too says it every time. He desires marriage too. Its also hard as we both have never had sex before. Chaii!!! Who virginity epp??
PS: I am very prudent
My parents live in a 3 million annual rent apartment so its not poverty mentality
All my married friends pay rent of at least a million Naira a year but I don’t care
My parents will foot most of the wedding bills except for cake, attire, photography and rings. I have gotten very affordable vendors for this and wearing 5k ring will not kill me. Everything outside these will be fully taken care of.
My BN family, I ask again, is 200k monthly really not enough to be married? Please share your experiences. Thank you.
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