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“I stand with her. Nigerian men we have to do better” – MI says after reading excerpts from Toke Makinwa’s “On Becoming”

BellaNaija.com

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MI Abaga

Rapper MI Abaga has said that he stands with Toke Makinwa following the revelation she made in her memoir “On Becoming” concerning the love triangle between her, her estranged husband Maje Ayida, and Anita Solomon.

MI made this known in a series of Tweets on Tuesday where he said:

MI -Toke Makinwa

 

162 Comments

  1. OO

    November 29, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    Wow. This dude has just given ‘The Real Nigerian & ‘Hadiza’ a field day. Nigerian men duck and dodge this page cos they will soon spit fire

    • Engoz

      November 29, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      Lol. Nigerian men need to do better. It’s not only Nigerian women that talk about how badly behaved these men are in relationships. Go to Kenya, Ghana, South Africa, the UK, the US, Thailand, Malaysia, China, etc. These countries have dedicated numerous articles on the Nigerian male shenanigans. Anywhere Nigerian men congregate there’s surely to be madness following them. So Nigerian women are not crazy when they make noise. Everybody needs to go to the drawing board from the men themselves, to the parents who unleash these men to society, to the wives and girlfriends who encourage such evil to persist because they want to die as Mrs.

    • LostInSpace

      November 29, 2016 at 6:00 pm

      I believe like mind attracts, anyone talking about meeting crazy Nigerian men need to check their personality as well.

    • nene

      November 29, 2016 at 6:11 pm

      so what is attracting them to these “nigerian” men? these women need to check themselves, what they do in their relationships, and the type of nigerian men they attract.

    • Engoz

      November 29, 2016 at 6:15 pm

      @lostinspace
      How we all wish life works as simply as that where bad things only happen to bad people, good things happen only to good people, crazy people meet only crazy people, lol. Life would be wonderful.

    • A Real Nigerian

      November 29, 2016 at 6:26 pm

      @nene You must be very stupid for making that statement.

    • X

      November 29, 2016 at 6:49 pm

      Totally disagree. Nigerian men are actually adored in most of these countries. But why is this even a topic. Mr. M.I needs to speak for himself

    • LostInSpace

      November 29, 2016 at 6:57 pm

      Believe everyone that has met a crazy partner knew from the start what they are getting into but just wanna be ignorant. From the extract that I have read about the book, how can a lady be with a man that gave you a disease?

    • FasholasLover

      November 29, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      I have read this book. Kai kai kai. Download it from Amazon. Once you start, you cannot stop. If you have not read it, you have no moral obligation to dock Toke. Shame on any woman who tries to shame another into silence. She did not play victim at all at all. She spoke her truth warts and all. Like I said on another post, Maje is not a good prize. Anita is now tied to him for life either by foolishly getting pregnant to “show” Toke or for whatever reason. Toke is the winner here for walking away from the mess that was that triangle. It does not matter whether she was pushed, kicked or canoed out of that marriage. Anita is the one stuck with Maje for life. Maybe, just maybe if more women spoke out amongst the older generation, mothers would not have stuck with dead beat fathers and husbands thereby raising damaged children. I applaud Toke for speaking out. I like her get up and go attitude. I will be gifting this book. Too many people pretend becos of what others will say. I say live your life and leave people to talk.

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      You are soo spot on with this! Couldn’t have said it better. Read the book in a few hours!!

    • Kay

      November 30, 2016 at 12:09 am

      Thank you for this!

    • funsho

      November 30, 2016 at 1:30 am

      As long as you make a lot of sense which is based on what you can see .

      Those that knew Toke’s Unilag days would beg to differ

      Karma they say is a b***h but she was once side chicks to married men!

      What upset me is this holier than thou character she’s portraying

      Like SDK said there are 4 sides to the story would be nice if people tried to listen to all sides before throwing stones

    • Jaygirl

      November 30, 2016 at 7:28 am

      @Faholaslover, how can you say Anita is stuck with him for life? Hasn’t she got legs like Toke? Is she not a woman as well? She can leave if she wants to. Having a baby with someone doesn’t mean you are stuck for life please.

      Besides we have only heard one side of the story. We need to understand that the other two people in this dilemma are humans too (with friends and family) and can get hurt by our judgemental comments.

    • the girl

      November 30, 2016 at 8:52 am

      Please how can I buy this book? I went to amazon and I was getting a message that its not available for my country.

    • ThatGreenTea

      November 30, 2016 at 10:03 am

      I read it too! I got mine off Kobo books though. Honestly I couldn’t stop. I had to pause though in the early chapters when she was narrating her childhood.It hit me hard. From that point to now, you have to understand that she really pulled more than her fair share. I personally feel like I had some weight lifted from myself as well

    • HMMMM

      November 30, 2016 at 1:09 pm

      mheeen…. you are right!n I havent been able to drop the book. Chai, the babe was too lost. I hope she has found her way sha. eh come be like say the uncle use juju on her…. AND THAT GUY IS NOOOOTTTT HANDSOME AT ALL

    • FasholasLover

      November 30, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      @Jaygirl, on a normal day, l woulda cussed you out. But, today? l feel sorry for you. Therefore, l will try and school you.
      When you hv a child with a man, you have a connection with him for life whether you marry someone else or not. Furthermore, it does not matter if the man loves you more. The moment he walked on his two feet to church or a registry, if you are a self respecting woman you will borrow yourself some sense and walk away. Do you know what l just explained? Or do l still break it down for you? Or better still should l write in pidgin?

      Anita has no self respect. And you come across like you will fight over a man. Who is talking about Unilag days? So juvenile. We are talking adult business here. Why did Anita stay with Maje after he married Toke? Pray an Anita does not surface in your future. Go and buy the book and don’t download for free. That would be stealing like Anita did.

    • Joshua.

      November 29, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      @OO, NO ONE needs to “”duck and dodge”” anything from those two/that one i.e. so-called @a real (fakest ever!) Nigerian and @hadiza because its completely powerless/harmless; the only hurt they/she do/does is to themselves/herself. If she/they were not so incredibly pathetic, she/they would be comic relief.

  2. Mo'Diva

    November 29, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    MI thank you very much!!! kisses********

  3. tunmi

    November 29, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    I’m really hoping this saga does not continue into 2017. On the other hand, turns out Nigerians do read books.

  4. ATL's finest

    November 29, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    The book is a MUST READ. Once u start, U can’t drop/stop or put it down. #ADDICTED#.. Way to GO GIRL cuz U did your WORk.

    • Nkechi

      November 29, 2016 at 5:12 pm

      When are they releasing the movie ? And who do you think will be playing Toke, Maje and Anita?

    • Teju TJ

      November 29, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      Is it just me that saw snippets of my life in this book? I could feel every single emotion…so many flashbacks…..

  5. Sexy doctor

    November 29, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    MI maybe u don’t treat ur girls ryt but there r millions of naija boys out there who r Gud to their wives and very much faithful……… it’s upbringing and peer pressure dat makes u cheat…….. Train ur children ryt esp ur boys to respect women

  6. Nkechi

    November 29, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    When are they releasing the movie ? And who will be playing Toke, Maje and Anita?

  7. Strit Kredibility

    November 29, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    I agree. Nigerian men which i am one of need to do better, infact seriously better. Imagine hand falling!!! Nigerian men of Maje hue let us down so much by turning themselves into fluffy red carpet. You know every woman wants to step on one to fame. But on this matter i will go with Chimamanda on the danger of one story having in mind also that until the lion tells its own story, the hunt will always glorify the hunter.

    Ps: Due to biting recession i regret to say i am sticking with Nigeria at its trying moment and buying any book other than how to heal Nigeria might not be patriotic. I will however welcome any freewill donation of the book. Thanks

  8. Audi altarem Partem

    November 29, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    And the award for the most gullible, shallow people in the world goes to … Nigerians. Hurray! Well, some not all Nigerians.
    However beautifully written, however touching, whatever pity it excites, the book is just one side of a story involving three people. And the storyteller is not someone famous for her ability to tell the truth. In fact she has lied several times before but she doesn’t really care because Nigerians don’t really care. We’re so gullible. Change your story a dozen times in one hour we’ll still believe you. Our politicians have been using the same formula since 1960. Genius!
    So, for those who wish to read the book, have it at the back of your mind – it’s just one side of the story.

    • Fast cars

      November 29, 2016 at 6:28 pm

      If it is a lie, then let the parties involved come out and say it is a lie. Don’t their silence tell you something, How can she publish a whole book of lies when she is not Kim jong um or Idi Amin.

    • audi altarem partem

      November 30, 2016 at 12:18 am

      @Fast cars, ‘how can she publish a whole book of lies?’ Welcome to the world. People have published books of lies over and over and passed them from one generation to others. Besides I didn’t say she lied, read my comment again, slowly this time.
      She might be telling the truth but I’ll not take her word for it. She didn’t give me a reason to trust her that much.
      Someone lied about her age, publicly celebrated her 30th birthday on the day her Wikipedia edited page- which she edited-says she’s 33, she moves on as if it’s normal (because truth is a taboo in her country). She shows up later to give an account of what happened between her and two others and you expect me to believe and scream eyaa. I won’t. That’s not how I was trained. If you prove you’re a liar I’ll believe you are but will never believe whatever comes from you going forward, especially when it involves others. I’ll hear all sides.
      And honestly my grouse is not with her. It’s with Nigerians that will believe anything and get emotional without questions.

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      Ny friend sharrap, enemy of progress.

    • Olope

      November 30, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      Are you that gullible to believe age in Wikipedia and take it as gospel? And even over court records of her divorce proceedings? And others are the gullible ones? Right.

  9. mr.a

    November 29, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    I agree. We…Nigerian, okay scratch the nigerian… Men have to do better. I would like to hear from Maje and Anita. I for one like Toke, but to be fair, this is her side of the story, and i don’t know her enough to trust her word, hook,line and sinker. Notwithstanding, i admire you Toke! You’re obviously a strong person.

  10. Big Tee

    November 29, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    This too shall pass…..

    • Dex

      November 30, 2016 at 11:23 am

      Hahahahahaaha….I tel you…..chop knuckle

  11. leila

    November 29, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    Thank you MI. I cannot believe the amount of vitriol and victim blaming that has been directed at Toke. What is the problem? That she was courageous enough to tell her truth as she sees it and as it happened to her? That she called out publicly a man that was emotionally abusive?

    What got me reading through many of the comments yesterday was how much the Nigeria that I knew and loved has deteriorated. No capacity for deep thought at all. Follow the bandwagon and the crowd seems to be the order of the day. Many of you were bashing Toke without bothering to read the book because you thought it was the acceptable position to take. I mean there were comments such as Anita doesnt use too much makeup so she is a simple girl who is well behaved. Are you people for real right now? Someone planned (yes oh, planned in her own words) a baby with a man who was married. She went on holiday with this man. Had sexual relations with him in a home that he shared with his wife ( according to a previous bn post on the contents of the divorce papers) and you are using hair and make up as a standard for morality? Really people, think noooow!
    Even the statements made (according to the book) by the same Anita to Toke shows a girl with no remorse, no compassion, no empathy for her fellow human being (whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation). Is that a good person to you? Haba! Taba ma sukun, a ma riran ( yoruba proverb, if we are crying, we should still see).
    As for paul adeyemo, john, wale, lemme rant and all the other men who were bashing her yesterday. You all know you are angry because women are finally standing up and refusing to be quiet and take your bs. Get with the program and change! No amount of browbeating and insults will stem the rising tide. Sit in a boat with your fellow person Maje all you like. It will not stop you from drowning if you refuse to be better men like many of your counterparts are. Hold yourself to a higher standard rather than coming on here and insulting women who dare to put you in your place.

    For the women (who are clearly used to subjugation, patriachy and female shaming) who are allowing themselves to be used as instruments for the further shaming of a fellow victim of the arrant nonsense propagated by many Nigerian men, take a lesson from Toke. Stand up, tell your truth publicly if need be. The shame is not yours but that of the abuser. We will only change our collective experiences if we stand together and say we will be quiet no more!

    Toke, I do not know you but I salute your courage to bare all ( both good and bad). You are an example to us all.

    • A Real Nigerian

      November 29, 2016 at 6:31 pm

      Perfect comment. Hundreds of likes incoming…

    • Your ma.

      November 30, 2016 at 9:21 am

      TF is up with you and likes nigga? F outta here with that bs.

    • John

      November 29, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      @leila and yet studies shows that nigerian women (not men )are the greatest cheaters in the world..so who is deceiving who..nigerierian women are the greatest hypocrites , they are the ones that will cheat first,abuse their maids and step children and go to to church the same day and shout aleluya Amen. As for the attention seeker toke , she is just a wannebe nigerian kardashian . I Bet she will relase her sex tape next..anything for fame atleast the likes of cossy orjiakor are honest about it..MI is just looking for attention to his gone career

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:20 pm

      You are not worth it John, you are really not to anyone here and I am almost certain in your real life. Its a sad case.

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Leila, comments like yours give me hope. Some of us are still sane out here. Thanks for this on behalf of all who have eyes and see.

    • Adeanon

      November 29, 2016 at 9:13 pm

      Mehn. You have said it all.
      I went through a minute fraction of what Toke did and shared a bit here on BN. Some of the comments left me stunned! I somehow deserved to be treated so poorly, to be left out in the snow dripping menstrual blood because ..
      I chose to share a fragment of my life and people deride, disbelieve and discredit.

      I left after intense emotional abuse and now My estranged H is begging. Yet somehow in Bruno and Paul adeyemo and their ilk types, there are 3 sides to the story, no body is a saint etc.

      Toke I pray God heals you as he is healing me. I pray he heals Maje& Anita too. Very sad very broken people. They will justify it like my H mistress did – the heart wants what the heart wants. So why didn’t the heart consider the others feelings ? Why couldn’t you have broken Toke’s heart just the ONE time?? Why break her heart into a thousand pieces and trample all over it publicly??

    • Ello Bae

      November 30, 2016 at 3:55 am

      I remember your story. I still think about it and it gives me the shivers every time I do.He is begging?? The devil is a liar!!! Run as fast as your legs can carry!! Affliction shall not rise a second time.Please ignore the likes of Bruno, they like reading their own words.Overall, I hope you are doing well.

    • Onyie

      November 30, 2016 at 8:17 am

      Hi Adeanon

      I remember reading your story too and was appalled at the comments. I don’t know why we have such ignorant and wicked people in this country – one of the most religious countries in the world o.

      I hope you are settled now. Please don’t be tempted to go back to him. You have moved on and your story from this point on shall be full of praise only!

    • Idomagirl

      November 30, 2016 at 11:04 pm

      I remember your story. ❤❤❤❤❤
      Stay strong.

    • Takeseveralseats

      December 2, 2016 at 11:38 am

      I remember your story so well. I hope you’re doing great and standing stronger than ever. Please ignore the likes of Bruno and Paul adeyemo, they’re still writing WAEC and don’t know what life is truly about.
      Keep safe luv, you’re always in my prayers

  12. Mahka

    November 29, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    Oh!
    BN, make it stop already, stop bringing every and any pop up excerpts of Toke’s book. I know its publicity season but pls give us some room to be digesting the book small small ,I have a serious headache already, everything looks like a T or B.
    On another note, Falcons AFCON semi finals match is on today with SA, you have no post on it..

    • tunmi

      November 29, 2016 at 5:30 pm

      BN has to now. It’s the hottest gist around. We can just do waka pass or just read the comments and leave. I’m with you though, I’m getting a headache. Might as well go watch Insecure season 1 again. BN…you should totally do a post on Insecure. You have two west Africans on that show and a Nigerian who is giving the recaps. Issa Rae is 1/2 Senegalese, Yvonne Orji is Igbo Nigerian, and Luvvie Ajayi, a Yoruba-Nigerian, does the recaps. Jidenna also guest stars and he is 1/2 Igbo.

    • Mahka

      November 29, 2016 at 5:57 pm

      Am scouting for that ‘Insecure’ where can I watch or download…just discovered Secrets and lies US season 2; great story, fine people too, Do you watch?

    • tunmi

      November 29, 2016 at 6:15 pm

      @Mahka I think the first episode is on HBO.com. I’m not sure how to get the others. I watch it on HBO. My mum (thankfully) has cable, and I catch up OnDemand. There are many recaps though so you won’t be missing much. But it is such a good show in the way it pictures and represents black people.

  13. Darius

    November 29, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    M.I is such a gentle man and a chairman. He’s been able to chart a scandal-free career: no baby mama drama and no random girls. Respect!!!

    • Darius

      November 29, 2016 at 5:28 pm

      …… serially unfaithful! Hmmmmm! We just have to do better.

  14. Abominable snow girl

    November 29, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    His last tweet said and I quote…..as a man that has been serially unfaithful..in relationships… ?

  15. fygo

    November 29, 2016 at 5:35 pm

    Guy u dey fall hand lyk seriously! Which yeye victim. As if the guy pulled a gun 2 her head to stay in the relationship whn u saw the hand writing on the wall and which is even visible to the blind plus the deaf can even hear “RUN”. Now u stayed and wanna cry and play victim nw,vry lame excuses of healing and freedom. Juz didn’t see the essence of this yeye book..she juz killed her self with this! As if anybody really took her serious from the on set with the vblog. Abegi Next!

    • Leila

      November 29, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Please just stop with the victim shaming! Just because someone is not atrong enough to say no does not make her a bad person. We all have our weaknesses. The amoral person is the person who knowingly and maliciously takes advantage of that weakness.
      Please readjust your moral compass. Stop blaming the victim. Blame the agressor ( in this case Maje).

    • Leila

      November 29, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Strong*

    • baby oku

      November 30, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      killed herself how? watch her soar from now on…..whether people like you like it or not nigerian women are getting to the era where they can come out without shame to tell their story…enough of shaming women for speaking out against all kinds of abuse, rape and other kinds of bullshit men think its their birthright to give…whether you all believe her or not its her side of the story and her own truth….,nobody has stopped maje or anita from sharing there’s….

  16. Lydia

    November 29, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    What baffles me is that you hear women bashing Toke and supporting Anita. Wow! Are they so shortsighted? Bash all three of them EQUALLY! They are ALL a bunch of self-serving idiots!
    Look, love, the long lasting one and not infatuation, is an act. A decision. Even the Bible says it. Whereas what the world calls love (which is really infatuation) is based on feeling, the biblical Agape love, the one couples are supposed to practice, is based on duty and sacrifice! So that no matter how annoying your spouse is, no matter how disrespectful and undeserving your spouse is, you cast your feelings onto God and still continue to sacrifice for your spouse and treat them right because that is WHAT JESUS DID FOR US. THAT is the reason why divorce is so common now. Not feminism, not social media, but the fact that couples now love based on FEELINGS, not the selfless Agape love.
    Toke is being bashed for playing victim. Is she playing victim and not taking responsibility enough? Absolutely! But why people are making her out to be the only problem is what I fail to understand.
    1. Toke is the problem, for not having the balls to leave when she saw the signs and blaming everyone but herself
    2. Anita is also the problem. Why do people make her out to be innocent and blameless? Because she’s scarcely on social media and she doesn’t wear makeup? LOOOL! I see her for what she is; a shameless adulteress who did not have the decency to walk away from a married man; a man who did not love her enough to commit to her. She knew it and she stayed, even had a baby for him! That makes her an even bigger idiot IMO!
    3. The biggest problem, however, is Maje! Interestingly, he seems to be the one being bashed the least! You are a grown ass man in your 40s! Toke pressured you into marriage? Hahahahahaaaa! So what, Toke kidnapped you and took you to the registry? Mr, if you don’t love Toke and it’s Anita you want, guess what? Do not marry Toke! Marry Anita instead! But if you married Toke instead, put your big boy panties on and give her the Agape love! That’s what marriage is all about! IDC how unhappy you are; Bible makes it clear THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ADULTERY!! Y’all give African men too much leeway, that’s why they’re so entitled!! I’ll bet Maje thought it was his birthright to keep both women! Either way, they both have ZERO self respect, which is why they let Maje treat them like that!
    #RantOver

    • A Real Nigerian

      November 29, 2016 at 6:29 pm

      “Toke is the problem, for not having the balls to leave”
      Wrong. Not everyone has the balls. Just because you have that strength doesn’t mean everyone else does. Lacking courage is not a “problem”. Please have some empathy.

    • DAME

      November 30, 2016 at 8:56 am

      I read your comment and am like…THATS IT…DROPS MIC
      THIS IS THE COMMENT HAVE BEEN WANTING TO READ ALL YEAR LONG
      TOKE, ANITA AND MAJE ARE ALL GUILTY AF….

  17. Marlvina

    November 29, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Now how do I get this book? M.I may God help you folks o. But then that’s one side of the story in that book, what if another book launch is done by Maje or Anita and we read another side to the story? So which do we hold on to? I’m getting confused. Hw can we really tell who the victim is, Toke or Anita? Cus I’m beginning to realise Maje was with Anita when Toke came into the picture. Well, as we can tell, both ladies were hurt in all of ds drama and it’s pretty obvious they’re really strong women. Hmm.

    • .....

      November 29, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      Book that they are passing around on whatsapp.. Trust me I don’t have any idea how the book got leaked…

  18. californiabawlar

    November 29, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    I just miss MI! This man gave us some solid intelligent music…

  19. Nnamdi

    November 29, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Again the plot is lost here. He’s says ‘we Nigeria men.’
    Who do ‘we’ Nigerian men cheat with kwa? Other men?
    Of course it is women too who make themselves available to cheat with.
    As a red blooded Nigerian man original, you think it has not crossed my mind? Man it does everyday. Then I ask?
    Where is the opportunity? None existent.
    Maybe the opportunity is there aplenty in Nigeria but abroad, no even try am. By the time your woman catch u and throw your things outside for cold, blood no go flow to your Johnson again.

    • Anon

      November 29, 2016 at 6:07 pm

      “By the time your woman catch u and throw your things outside for cold, blood no go flow to your Johnson again.”

      Hahahahahahahahahaha! Very true!! “The” Johnson needs constant pampering.

    • Bey

      November 29, 2016 at 7:29 pm

      Nmandi some women are side-chicks without even knowing it, believe me. It’s sooooo common nowadays.
      Before I got married, so I met someone through work. He started chatting me up, blah blah, asking me out for drinks. Mind you he never wore a ring, but to be sincere I wasn’t even interested because he wasn’t my type and I don’t even believe in dating customers. But we became close n just chat. He wld bring up d dating thing, but I just told him I was in a rltshp. Which I was but he wld mention d whole dating thing from time to time.
      Next thing I get a message from whatsapp from his wife. That am I one of the girls her hubby is sleeping with. Started raining curses. I just abuse d woman say Madam ur husband ain’t even my spec. Further more look at ur self and look at me. Why won’t ur shameless husband chase me. Looking like a wrap of spoilt fufu.
      That is not to say some girls don’t willingly cheat with married men.
      But believe me some start out not knowing. Then dey discover when they are neck deep in love, and it’s hard for them to leave the relationship.
      A lot of dese men use deceit. You fall in love with them, then they tell you they are married. Especially those that have their families abroad. You wld even spend a wkrnd in the house and not see pin that he is a married man.

    • Nnamdi

      November 29, 2016 at 8:03 pm

      @Bey. So what do u think is the solution to this problem?

    • marie-anne

      November 29, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      That was i was fooled O! Mr never wore his ring, pretending to be a bachelor. Yet the guy was happily married, with children and using me like a spare tyre. Naive was i to believe in the lies even though my sixth sense ordered me not to trust him.

      That guy was so mysterious, meticulous about himself, rarely will talk to family or friends in my presence… Red flags all over, but i remained an ignorant scumbag.
      Then, i found out he was married, making me an instant side chick, unwillingly. The suspicions had always been there, but i chose to not look further into it. See how wrong was i?

      Men, i don’t understand why you would waste women valuable time pretending to be singles or interested in a relationship that you know has no future? You have already projected your future with one woman with all that it entails, why are you still going hunting, making promises you cannot fulfil, having unprotected sex with consequences?

      Why won’t you pay for a prostitute to give you sex if that what is missing at home? Why won’t you communicate with your wife if she is neglecting you?
      I have noticed that some men don’t know quite well how to deal with conflicts at home, so they will rather cheat rather than deal with the problem they face.

      Also to women, love yourself first and foremost before opening your heart to any man. If you have this self love, you will set the boundaries for what is acceptable or not and also, you will see the signs whether that person wants you in their lives or you are simply an option for them.

      I know what it feels to love someone who does not give a shit about you as experienced by Toke. If you are an option, take the exit door and never look back, you will not be missed. If however you fail to do that and give permission to someone to break your self, you will end up frustrated for the wasted years can never be taken back.

      Work on your self esteem, build your self and “moi” stronger. Remember, “a rose is still and will always be a rose. He can’t lead you and then take you, make you and then break you, darling, you hold the power” (Credit Lauryn Hill/ Aretha Franklin)

    • Okay okay

      November 29, 2016 at 10:34 pm

      “Why won’t you communicate with your wife if she is neglecting you?
      I have noticed that some men don’t know quite well how to deal with conflicts at home, so they will rather cheat rather than deal with the problem they face. “- You are on to something here. Some guys develop this from a young age and carry it into marriage, when they have an issue with their girl they switch to someone else for comfort. I am only telling it as it is oh!!! Its not my style oh.

    • Idomagirl

      November 30, 2016 at 11:07 pm

      A wrap of spoilt fufu? ???????

  20. CurvesAndEdges

    November 29, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Okay, I read Toke’s book. It’s unfortunate that Maje’s sins committed in ‘private’ have been shared with the world. However Toke must take a responsible share of the blame for everything she’s experienced. She showed him love and blah, blah BUT he showed her who he was time and time over and she still went back to him time and time again. Why is Maje now the evil one? He treated you poorly but you didn’t think you deserved any better – isn’t that something you should own up to? I really hope that women will read that book and have a strong idea of what love SHOULDN’T BE and know that they should walk far away before their story ends in divorce and baby-mama drama. Instead what I’ve seen so far is people calling Maje scum and ‘standing with her’. Toke has (or had) so many issues, I don’t even know where to start. It takes two to tango – if you didn’t enable him over and over, he wouldn’t have treated you like shit. At the end of the day, a guy doesn’t have to be a bad, ugly person before you realize that he is not making you happy or meeting your needs.
    My summary – I won’t stand with a woman when she has publicly placed the devil’s horns on a guy who never forced her into any of the wrong decisions she CHOSE to make. Own up to your mistakes and do so without dragging anyone else down with you.

    • Tayo

      November 29, 2016 at 6:50 pm

      First of, If you really read the book like you said, how did you miss several pages of her taking responsibility for her actions or you just convienently jumped over those, responsibility till the extent that she apologized to that scum after everything or no, you didn’t see that one.

      And what the heck do you mean the sin he committed privately, so he wanted his sin to remain private but had two children one from
      Cheating and the other out of wedlock, so
      It’s Toke that asked him to Expose his private sin then?. How does this even make sense to you?

    • FasholasLover

      November 29, 2016 at 7:34 pm

      I tire for those saying Toke should have kept quiet while praising Anita. I have come to realise that most commenters here are very young people who have no clue. She was his wife for goodness sakes! Anita should borrow herself some sense and keep it moving. She is the second woman to birth a child for Maje. So, what is so special in what she has done? She born Jesus? Right now, two women have equal rights to Maje. Both mothers of his children. Anita don buy gbese.

    • CurvesAndEdges

      November 30, 2016 at 3:55 am

      Yes, I did see the pages where she took responsibility but the general thread of the book for me was – all I did was love the man and he did this and did that. There was nothing that Maje did to Toke that she did not consent to. Nothing. She consented either actively or passively to every horrible behavior he dealt her. Why then is she telling his story without his consent? It’s her story, yeah, but the whole premise of the book just made me feel one-kain.. That’s just me sha.
      I CAN NEVER subscribe to cheating and I will NEVER celebrate a cheater or a home-breaker but after the many things she revealed in the book that happened prior to her marriage, why did she expect that once she had a ring, Anita (and all the other girls) would be out of the picture and things would be all perfect? Infidelity and irresponsible behavior do not respect marriage vows. They never did and they never will.

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      You are a filthy liar, you didnt read the book. Its so obvious from the conclusions drawn. Try again bitch.

    • CurvesAndEdges

      November 30, 2016 at 3:29 am

      I read the book and considering that i’m posting anonymously, it wouldn’t make sense to lie about that. Bought it off Amazon for $9.99. My opinions are mine. You are entitled to yours. If Anita’s pregnancy didn’t become public, she would have stayed in there, suffering and smiling, hoping and praying. Perhaps I am going by my personal principles, but when I gain clarity in a situation that I should have worked away from, I will share my lessons learned without vilifying other parties that were involved unless of course I was forced into such a situation against my will.

    • CurvesAndEdges

      November 30, 2016 at 3:58 am

      walked* away from

    • Jaygirl

      November 30, 2016 at 7:55 am

      Na wa o. Filthy liar ke? It’s not that serious biko. Keep your cool hun. We all have the rights to err our views.

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:37 pm

      @curvesandedges You are a filthy liar. You did not read the book. It is so obvious from your conclusions drawn, u are not fooling anyone, stop lying!

    • Dex

      November 30, 2016 at 11:37 am

      Babe/guy chill kwanu!!!

  21. Dtruth

    November 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    The stereotype is unreal…M.I speak for yourself cos there are great and good Nigerian men …No wonder all over Africa and even in some western countries, foreign women are fighting for Nigerian men….If you find one good one, you are blessed for life and I am one….Same goes to Nigerian women….some are just as bad as the men…You are who you attract…as simple as that…M.I a PH tout that got famous from rapping is now the idle Nigerian man….Dude pls face your rhymes and ohhh Toke ..You are so innocent….Next pls…

    • A Real Nigerian

      November 29, 2016 at 6:00 pm

      “No wonder all over Africa and even in some western countries, foreign women are fighting for Nigerian men”
      Where have you been to? Sit down and stop making senseless assumptions.

    • Dtruth

      November 29, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      A Real Nigerian…..Well maybe not for the men in your family….In my family it is the story…You are probably like the Toke’s so how would you know….Thanks

    • Maryse

      November 30, 2016 at 12:45 am

      For where? In your village, maybe! I am a Ghanaian and I know 4 women who have married/dated a Nigerian man. None of them have a good story to tell!
      1. A Nigerian woman; her Nigerian husband has turned her into a punching bag
      2. Another Nigerian woman; You should see how her Nigerian husband controls her. He even brings prostitutes into their matrimonial home
      3. A Canadian woman: her Nigerian fiance scammed her of $75,000 and vanished into thin air
      4. A Ghanaian woman; hers koraa was the worst. Her Nigerian ex used to cheat on her and beat her, but she stuck with him, put him through school and cut all of us her friends and family out of her life when we tried to advice her. You know how he repaid her? By impregnating and marrying a Nigerian girl! She had a mental breakdown and hates men now!
      So in which part of the world are women fighting over Nigerian men? This is not to say Ghanaian men are any better; most of them tend to be judgemental and bossy and don’t respect women but Nigerian men, ehn! Kai! Your track record is unprecedented, because I’m not the only one I know with stories!

  22. Anonymous

    November 29, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    People should read the book and stop saying what they don’t know. Isn’t that bearing false witness?
    Toke never called herself a victim. She blamed herself for never leaving and always going back.
    She also gives advice to women like being financially strong and more to their husband. Wonder why people are demonising Toke for demonising Maje (which she never actually did because she stated a couple of facts and spent more time discussing how she responded to these things and how they’ve made her grow as a Christian). If anything, she only demonised her own self

  23. A Real Nigerian

    November 29, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    MI shut the f#$k up!!
    This liar is only saying this so that people will view him as sensible and different. Just the way he regurgitates and repackages shallow primary-school lyrics that some Nigerians perceive as intelligent and pioneering music.
    I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR PRETENCE AND MEDIOCRITY.
    He has confessed to being a serial cheater and he is not going to change. Simply riding the feminism-lite bandwagon and feeding off of the popularity of Toke’s trending book just so he can come across as a modern man. Who are you deceiving?
    Nonsense.

    • Nene

      November 29, 2016 at 6:40 pm

      U have issues

    • Anonymous

      November 29, 2016 at 6:48 pm

      Nene you’re the meanest and most bi*** commenter on this blog. A real Nigerian may be a troll, but YOU speak from your bitter heart which only allows you to see the bad in anything. You LOVE posts where you can bash beautiful, rich and famous women. But guess what, they move on. And you remain the same. Trying to dim someone’s life will not make yours shine any brighter. Get over your sorry self. Oh and stop with the lies about your “background”. The struggle shows in your jealousy about people you feel that have it better than you. Sleeping with their men doesn’t put you on their level. And yet you have the nerve to come here and judge Toke. I’ve said enough. And no, this isn’t a real Nigerian. I believe her comments will tear you apart so maybe you should wait for that

    • A Real Nigerian

      November 29, 2016 at 7:07 pm

      Not as much as the issues that plague your sad, tragic, hopeless existence. You go about insulting and demeaning innocent women everywhere so you can feel good about your own shortcomings. Your name is on my black list now.

    • Dtruth

      November 29, 2016 at 7:48 pm

      A real Nigerian…U sound so bitter…You probably never experienced a good Nigerian man on your life….I’m sure ur skin is burnt out from bleaching just like your heart…Who is the Nigerian man that raised you or the one in your life??? LoL loser

    • Dtruth

      November 29, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      In your life***

    • Truth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:47 pm

      @[email protected] Nigerian is not a woman hun, he’s a jobless man who sits around trolling bella naila, scratching his balls, watching anime cartoons in his spare time and bullying women- i bet you I am right.

  24. Ahneetah

    November 29, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    Most people belike the story is one sided.i think the most important thing here is that he cheated and we don’t need to compare their different narrative to same story before the victim is identified.cheating is wrong and there is nothing that her ex will say(Incase he’s planning) will justify his act..it was his choice to marry toke..why would he get his ex knocked up?like he didn’t see her before making his relationship with toke legal?i pray toke heals completely cause her story is so sad.

  25. .....

    November 29, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    I am truly worried about people of this generation define a strong and powerful woman..
    Like I don’t get it..

    • A Real Nigerian

      November 29, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      You don’t get it because your mind is way too linear and enslaved by the patriachy.

    • Idomagirl

      November 30, 2016 at 11:11 pm

      ?????

  26. Bey

    November 29, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    My dears Nigerian men are on another level now o. When you meet one you better ask if he is married and he has a “living” wife or kids before you even go on your first date.
    Before I got married. What did my eyes not see.
    After a horrible break-up finished my enemies life I had to wake up and start being sharp.
    So I met this cute guy, my usual spec, fine, educated, speaks well, good family and very good job. He was on a serious chase. I said ok, Are you married? Do u have kids. He said no to All. Keep it in mind I even asked more than once. He wld call me morning, noon, day and nite as if his life depended on it. Took me out, bout me things, d roll of everything was out of dis world. Sweet words n messages clogged my phone. He asked we start dating, I said chill lets atleast get to know eachoda. It was just too fast.
    I though I had met Prince Charming. But something told me a man as rich and established as he is, come fine join. How wld he not be married or atlst be in a relationship. So I had my guard up.
    So I started my FBI on him, googled, Facebook everything. At first nothing out of the ordinary came out. Then I searched again with his 2nd name, remembering at a point they changed dere su name becos it was all dese Ogun names.
    Viola got his Facebook, found out he was married with 4kids. Saw wedding pictures, kids pics, baby dedication of his last babies, Twins he had months before, d babies werent even one yet.
    To tell u the truth I wasnt that shocked………. I just kept quiet planning my next move.
    What shocked me was the fact I looked into that acct the 2nd day and all the pictures of his wedding, kids, baptism every thing was gone. He had cleared them all and left just d pictures of him. Even changed his relationship status I had seen as married just a day before to now single.
    Thankfully i showed my friends all d pics , we dissected them together. If not I wld have been doubting myself.
    Some men are d definition of Evil. All in d name of getting laid u remove ur kids pics on FB. Who dos that ?

  27. cyndy

    November 29, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    so what the fck is this a new hashtag for Toke #IStandWithHer
    abi na Hilary ?

    You people worship and praise nonsense. I have never heard you MI supporting the many women (no status no class) who have been physically abuse.

    Fake People

    I am disappointed in MI, for drawing to conclusions without hearing the side of Maje

    #IstandWithNoBodyUntilIHearAll3Sides.

    • Cookie

      November 30, 2016 at 3:22 pm

      This comment is everything!

  28. Wasiu

    November 29, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    It is only in Nigeria sha, u can cheat and get away with it. The only reason I don’t cheat is two words CHILD SUPPORT.

    Don’t guys don’t be bullshitting either. Imagine your wife catches u and throws u out, as soon as she slams the door in your face, a computer start typing your name in the child support office. 3 days later a mail comes, saying you own $18000 in back support. Abeg o.

    I much rather stay miserable in my marriage than pay child support.

    • Loki

      November 29, 2016 at 11:19 pm

      Marry me Leila. I don’t care what your gender is. I will change to accommodate you…
      So basically it is the lack of a legal framework that leaves Nigerian women vulnerable… Oh well, that will never change seeing as our National Assembly is largely comprised of polygamous men with a girlfriend from each of the 36 states…

  29. REALLY?

    November 29, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    so now this Attention fame seeking narcissist is a role model and NIGERIA’S definition of STRONG WOMAN. ok MI -i Iost alll respect i had for you, every ounce. at least be objective and hear all sides of the story and if you dont then dont take one side

    ALRIGHT Y THEN

    • Leila

      November 29, 2016 at 7:51 pm

      What is there to hear? Did he or did he not commit adultery and get a woman (other than his wife) pregnant? In case you were wondering, the question is rhetorical. He already publicly admitted that he did so on social media and even gave a public apology (to the ‘narcissist’ as you put it). And just in case you were thinking Toke’s personality/behaviour might have been justification for his behaviour, remember that no one had a gun to his head. If he was so unhappy and cared so deeply for Anita, why not just pack up and leave? Last i heard divorce is still legal in Nigeria. Dont try to find excuses for cowardice and deception abeg. You lot are not fooling anyone.
      Chai, i have spent enough time on bn responding to comments today but you people sha and the way you reason…you will force people to be writing epistle on top comment 24/7. I am out! Na una sabi.

    • Leila

      November 29, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      He = Maje

  30. Wasiu

    November 29, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    Those* guys and owe*$18000. Fear sef catch me as I dey type I make mistake

  31. Muyiwa

    November 29, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Bellanaija I said post my comment oooo cos even if you dont the truth will come out cos this chick has just open a can of worms

    Toke i want you to have included in your book all the married men you and your Unilag Envee Group slept with in Unilag. Cos if you dont – a few Unilag alums and some wifes are ready to spill beans. If you are going to tell the story – tell the whole story, You left a whole chapter out – your Days of Runs in Unilag.

    Since you are on a tour to tear this man to pieces by demonizing him cos you have no sin,

    • Amaks

      November 29, 2016 at 9:22 pm

      @Muyiwa

      How.convenient of you to call her a runs girl. That”s the default accusation from bitter nigerian men.

      Lies lies lies. I was in Moremi hall, and while these girls were notorious for partying and going clubbing, they were not runs girls, and were never known as runs girls! Some of the Envee girls were even dating chewing gum Unilag club boys. If you want to vilify her, at least come correct with the truth na.

    • Bey

      November 29, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      Ehn ehn, will Toke be the first girl to do that.
      Uncle swerve abeg, spill it na. She go only turn the story to Becoming 2.
      In Nigeria every girl is a runs girl. Me sef be runs girl, I been dey runs my hubby morning, day and night.
      Come with another story we don’t know.

  32. The code

    November 29, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    I’m a Cameroonian woman . Nigerian men over here are notorious playboys and narcissist . They will trail about 2 women simultaneously for 3 years. Then rush to Nigeria to marry Nkechi or Ngozi.. these men-“No go area”

    • Dtruth

      November 29, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      The Code…Please what is a genuine Nigerian man doing in Cameroon? So 419 boys are now the criteria for Nigerian men now abi? I no blame you….Even Cameroonian mgbeke follow get mouth..SMH….

    • Stella

      November 29, 2016 at 8:32 pm

      Lol.That is igbo men style for you,especially those living abroad or dating women from other tribe, they even do it to white women, they do not chase women as much as yoruba men (they are more family oriented ) but those guys can discriminate for africa, even if you born children for them ,they will take very good care of you and the children but look futher they have another igbo wife and children in their home town or village ( which they regard as the legtimate heir and family) that is how dey roll, they like to keep a second family/ alternative , I dont know whether it is paranoia or what ,is like they dont fully trust women of other tribes and one day may wake up to see them gone ,atleast, they have back up

    • John

      November 29, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      Who be this one? Even a camerooonian women of all things dey follow talk..Nigerian men have suffered ..abeg leave us alone ,face the men in your country

    • THE MASTER CODE-BREAKER.

      November 30, 2016 at 1:27 am

      @the code, TA GUELE! (SHUT UP!) We are having a family discussion here. We have been hospitable enough to allow you as a GUEST to visit but it remains OUR house. If you do not have enough home training, good breeding or knowledge of the laws of hospitality or African culture to know when to speak and what to speak and when not to and what not to, and how to, and how not to, then get out of our house, stay off our Nigerian blogs and stick to your Cameroonian media and sites that justify infidelity in men and preach to you Cameroonian women to expect your men to cheat on you, giving such reasons as if you don’t appreciate your man, he will certainly cheat, if you are insecure, definitely your man will cheat on you because men are only attracted to confident women, etc. This was in your wonderful Cameroonian Daily News this year http://www.dailynewscameroon.com/en/3-things-that-ll-make-a-man-cheat-on-you/4737

      AN INDEPENDENT RESEARCH BY WESTERN SCIENTISTS ON SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA FOUND CAMEROONIAN MEN TO BE NUMBER TWO ON THE LIST OF CHEATERS, SECOND ONLY TO TOGOLESE (I have lived in Togo a little while and can believe it). See excerpts from the book:

      Lust in Translation: Which Country Has the Highest Rates of Infidelity?
      Infidelity is universal. But which country boasts the most cheaters? The following is an excerpt from “Lust in Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee” (Penguin Books, 2007) by Pamela Druckerman:

      “”The morning after François Mitterrand’s funeral, a photo showed the late president’s mistress and illegitimate daughter standing by his grave alongside his wife and sons. That tableau has become famous internationally as proof that the French are uniquely tolerant of extramarital affairs. [. … ] If France isn’t the world capital of adultery, which country is? I set off around the world to find out. I quickly discovered that global sex research is patchy and incomplete. Even serious researchers can’t even agree on what to call infidelity. Nigerians prefer the term “sexual networking.” The Finns use the morally neutral term “parallel relationships.” A French team uses an expression perhaps better suited for an accounting course: “simultaneous multi-partnerships.” Then there’s the tricky matter of what constitutes cheating. A poll in one South African magazine had separate categories for men who cheat, and men who cheat “while drunk.”

      “”While it’s impossible to get an exact measure of infidelity, there are some clues about where the most cheating goes on. Beginning in the 1990s,RESEARCHERS TRACKING THE SPREAD OF HIV BEGAN EXTENSIVELY MAPPING SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IN SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA. Their findings were astonishing: in the tiny West African nation of Togo, with a population of less than six million, 37 percent of married or cohabiting men said they’ve had more than one sex partner in the last year (the figure includes polygamists). TRAILING JUST BEHIND THE TOGOLESE WERE MEN IN CAMEROON, the Ivory Coast, Mozambique and Tanzania. In South Africa, even the AIDS educator at a Cape Town metal company told me that of course he had a girlfriend as well as a wife.

      And so the dubious title of world infidelity capital goes to a region: sub-Saharan Africa. And with ordinary citizens cheating at such astonishing levels, one can only imagine what African politicians are up to. Surely they put even French presidents to shame.”””

      And you dared to come to our house to insult us in our own house! Yeye dey smell! All you phonies that come claiming Sierra Leone, Jamaica, Ghana, South Africa, wherever, whatever and just tell all kinds of lies and make up all kinds of fantasies like you think you’re talking to people as unintelligent and as uneducated and as uncultured as you are, people for whom the world is not a global village but rather consists only of their own village or their own country, as is your case. Go and learn proper manners and until you can be true and worthy ambassadors and representatives of your respective countries, and of Africa, SHUT UP!

      “”Even a fool, when he keeps silent, appears wise.””

  33. Abi

    November 29, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    My question is this. Would Toke have left the sham of a marriage if Anita’s pregnancy wasn’t made public??

    • Idomagirl

      November 30, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      Nope.

  34. Sad Dude

    November 29, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    I agree the majority of Nigerian men are “bad”. I myself when I was younger was terrible. If I didn’t have a life changing experience I am certain I would still be the same person. But that’s not my reason for writing. I belive that the majority of Nigerian women are just as bad. Any female that comes on here to say otherwise is being biased.

    You see, after I realized that cheating is a seriously disgusting character flaw I promised to never do so again. I was faithful to all three of my girlfriends an guess what I got in return? Pretense and cheating. In fact, the three times I found out I was being cheated on, it was so difficult to come to terms with it because these girls had played the game expertly. I was faithful, loyal, attentive, generous and I still got played badly. It’s gotten to the point where I’m like “Are you sure you want to date yet another Nigerian girl?”

    See a lot of Nigerian women cheat emotionally but because there has been no sexual contact yet, they feel they are still in the clear. Wrong! It’s usually only a matter of time before sex becomes the end product.

    As one dear reader wrote above, they will claim to love you while being “close” to another man. Constantly texting him, hiding to talk to him, going on dates with him…but in their minds it’s okay because they haven’t fucked yet. Like seriously???

    The last girl I was with cheated physically for about 8 months before I caught her. I was so in love with her that when she cried her eyeballs out for days and cursed me for not giving her another chance, I took her back. Fast forward a few months, she’s back to having two affairs – both emotional but from the messages I found, shiz was getting to the meet up phase which as we adults know, leads to the freak up pahse.

    I broke up with her. And through it all, I never told my family what she did. I took the blame and said I just wasn’t ready to commit.

    I was partly ashamed to admit that I’d been played so badly and also I didn’t want them to know that their daughter they love so much is just a greedy, attention seeking whore who doesn’t know how to turn down advances.

    Mind you this girl has been treated really poorly by her exes, so you would think that she would be grateful to find a good Nigerian man. Nope. Instead, she took me for granted on numerous occasions.

    I have lots of female friends. I know what they get to. A lot of my male friends too have their own stories to tell.

    So yeah, Nigerians in relationships whether male or female just need to do better.

    • Bey

      November 29, 2016 at 10:05 pm

      Abeg don’t blame that girl.
      Girls who have been hurt badly including me have learnt not to put all our eggs in one basket.
      So if one cheats n doesn’t do well. We have another option.
      I myself did this before getting married, I dated several men( I didn’t say have sex with o) when I found out my husband was the best of d lot and wld make a good husband. I dropped the rest.
      But because I am dating someone doesn’t mean I will close up shop to other men.
      It’s called safeguarding of your heart. Bcos you men are not loyal.

    • john

      November 29, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      @bey excuses upon excuses. .and u think nigerian women are royal and saints..give me a break ..tell that shit to the birds.. look at how u make excuses of dating many men ..if a man says that , u will start shouting like a banshee

    • Okay okay

      November 29, 2016 at 10:51 pm

      You can’t pick and choose who to blame when it comes to cheating. He has also been affected by her emotional and physical cheating. If he goes on to become a serial cheat should we excuse him as well. I really don’t want to analyze your situation in details however I think it is wrong to have many suitors regardless of wether you are sleeping with them. I think women are just as bad as men when it comes to cheating, the difference is how society views cheating, when both parties decide to stop cheating and how coded they are about it.

    • LemmeRant

      November 29, 2016 at 11:43 pm

      Nice logic you’ve applied here.
      But if I as a guy also tries to “safeguard my future” then all hell breaks loose.

      Very good. Very Very good.

    • Peculiar Okafor

      November 30, 2016 at 12:47 pm

      Now this is victim mentality at it’s peak. Don’t blame the girl abi, would you blame the guys too if they learn not to put all their eggs in one basket?

    • john

      November 29, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      the most logical and sensible comment here..in every broken relationship ..women are the first to cheat whether emotionally or physically..alwys complaining and comparing their husband to someone else or even trying to change him to fit their fantasy or someone else..they think their husband dooes not notice it but he does immediately ..testing and chating someone else secretly but when men cheat they will start to shout and start forming victim..anyone one who believes a woman version of event is a big fool and deserves the consequences …this toke of a girl was a former runs girl at unilag who use to sleep with married men back in the days..it was an open secret ..ask anyone in unilag…I wonder if those married women she slept with their husband are going to write thier bown book. .now she wants us crucify maje for her..na lie

    • Amaka

      December 1, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Like attracts likes. When they asked you to pray to God to give you the wisdom and discernment to choose husband or wife, you said they were too spiritual and knew nothing about compatibility or sex, you said they were just to boring. You can make better decisions than God. I am not talking about fake Christianity. I am talking about those whom God speaks to, those who have a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit. You don’t even have to be a Pastor. Daniel was not a Pastor but he worked with God and God showed him things. Some people think they will be young forever. You will learn better when you turn 60.

  35. Mystery

    November 29, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    Story of my life..so I dated this idiot whose gf went to nysc camp.. And he lied to me that she was an ex n dt they were done.. Fast forward.. Babes was done with nysc and Bobo started two timing.. I even saw a used postinor 2 in d car.. After much drama .. I picked what was left of me and walked.. Well Bobo came back four months after telling me gibberish that he wants us back.. I simply smiled.. Not today Satan not today.. Not easy to walk away.. But ladies your happiness comes first.. Don’t let one man make you feel less of who you r.. The annoying part of his lyrics was I no Drs a part of you dt still loves me.. I felt like squeezing d life out of him.. So because you no I loved you.. You think is an opportunity to walk in an out as you please.. Abeg I rather kill those butterflies than lie to myself again

  36. Amaks

    November 29, 2016 at 9:21 pm

    How.convenient of you to call her a runs girl. That”s the default accusation from bitter nigerian men.

    Lies lies lies. I was in Moremi hall, and while these girls were notorious for partying and going clubbing, they were not runs girls, and were never known as runs girls! Some of the Envee girls were even dating chewing gum Unilag club boys. If you want to vilify her, at least come correct with the truth na.

  37. John

    November 29, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    @bey excuses upon excuses. .and u think nigerian women are loyal and saints..give me a break ..tell that to the birds.. look at how u make excuses of dating many men ..if a man says that , u will start shouting like a banshee

    • Loki

      November 29, 2016 at 11:25 pm

      Im sure it just kills you that a man has said this. Where are your accusations of delusion and stupidity and other insults you level at the women for saying the exact thing M.I has said.
      John, you need Jesus….or prozac. Probably both.

    • john

      November 30, 2016 at 7:19 am

      @loki why would it kill me ..women and thier childish logic..if u hadn’t notice . majority of women are the ones even blasting toke and they are right in doing so

  38. gbaskelebo

    November 29, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    There are always three sides to every story, though I have not read the book. MI read excerpts from it and gave a generalized view using his personal experience as an example, that is so wrong… We are not all “wired” like him or exposed to whatever experience he has had, now to Toke’s book, it is her experience, thought and view being poured out (based on the trail of comments & replies) What if Maje came with his own version of events and poured it out the same way Toke did, also subtly vilifying her in it? then there is the third view the truth! what do I know? Data subscription will increase in 2 days that should be an issue that Bella should be discussing because comments will start disappearing here soon, Unto second base things sound the Tuba for me!

  39. Paul Adeyemo

    November 29, 2016 at 10:51 pm

    Idiotic M.I.

  40. Ewa Ali

    November 29, 2016 at 11:09 pm

    Too much hurt in this world…..if I start to talk? (In tiwa savages voice)

  41. Person

    November 30, 2016 at 12:55 am

    Abeg when are the nollywood producers gonna release the movie for this?

  42. MIMI

    November 30, 2016 at 2:56 am

    We all have a story to tell and there is a graceful way of sharing a story that would inspire generation to come. First, mentioning the names of the parties involved shows a malicious intent and not quite classy. No one will treat you as you have not allowed and those experiences shape who you are moving forward. There is nothing redeeming or to be emulated about a woman that can’t differentiate between private and public info. Sharing sexual relations with your spouse and std’s is quite unsettling. Also; from experience sharing to the world that you stayed with a man that abused you emotionally because as per Toke ” She has a propensity to love her partners more neglecting her self leaves a poor image of her in all her fancy, high makeup outlook. When a man knows you allowed another treat you as described; he also knows that when you love him you will put up. We live in an era where people feel like they have to share everything. They say its better for people to wonder if you are stupid than to open your mouth and confirm that you are. People might be inclined to give the guy and the Anita girl a pass because they are the one that really has taken a classy way out. Am sure all parties involved are aware of their mishap and have taken responsibility and their share in it but has refused to make it the talk of every blogs, instagram, twitter, fbk to name a few and for that they have my respect. No amount of money tops self respect, and emotional control irrespective of their mistakes. Am sure toke its not a saints and have done some equally grievous things. Am sure she wouldn’t like it if one her married boyfriend wrote a story about her, She has labeled this guy and lady as no good and we all know we are not defined by our mistakes as they to serve as a learning experience. I guarantee you she will jump onto another bandwagon, put up with the same behaviour; and write another book or a blog on how not put up with so and so. Isn’t Tiwa back with her spouse after all her truth. Clearly, those truth didn’t really matter as she took him back.

    • Mary

      November 30, 2016 at 4:00 am

      I have read every single comment on every single thread on both here and sdk, and Mimi by fars yours is the smartest , mature and most Objective. one million likes for you,

      Your are very smart with great sense, unlike the many kids commenting showing their immaturity and too star struck to think objectively.

    • CurvesAndEdges

      November 30, 2016 at 4:01 am

      You have voiced some of my opinions far better than I have been attempted to do. Thank you

    • diane okoli

      November 30, 2016 at 4:13 am

      Mimi may i copy you comment to post on another blog, nd quote you. Its the best i have read.

    • MZ P

      November 30, 2016 at 8:57 am

      Best comment so far, u really analzied the whole ish very well, nice one @ Mimi

    • Dex

      November 30, 2016 at 11:59 am

      Mimi looooovvveeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Objectivity still the product of a smart mind.
      Lady A : ” you have a platform, a podium, speak up,tell your story” and Lady B replied: “then what happens next”.
      Hard truth: There is always a distinct clarity between private and public info”,

    • Olope

      November 30, 2016 at 1:26 pm

      And who or what makes you the queen of grace, class captain, or authority on how one should write a memoir? Write yours as you see fit jor

  43. JUMOKE

    November 30, 2016 at 4:05 am

    i hope the current man shes dating and all men read her book and know the real person they are DEALING WITH.,

    GOOD LUCK TO TOKES FUTURE HUSBAND AND IN LAWS

  44. n

    November 30, 2016 at 5:37 am

    Anita solomon instagram is @anitahsolomon EVERYONE GO THERE AND FINISH HER

    • MZ P

      November 30, 2016 at 8:59 am

      For what reason exactly

    • Cocoderoc

      November 30, 2016 at 11:01 am

      Why so bitter?! Is this bitterness that you habe exhibited that needs to be finished. You need a nice resetting slap

    • Olope

      November 30, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      Don’t be silly. She offended you or “everyone?”

    • Idomagirl

      November 30, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      “Go and finish her” why?
      E be like say you no get work.

  45. i came late

    November 30, 2016 at 10:26 am

    To think people are calling Toke a strong woman beats me..Nigerians, the most gullible and sentimental people, they never think objectively..no wonder our politicians can win our votes by just saying “Change” or they had no shoes. I pity this country. I can never support Toke, because I know her motive for writing this book is wrong….it is to pull Maje and Anita down so that she can win, and that’s not a good motive, Toke has done a lot of horrible things herself and no one is writing a book about her to tear her down, infact she was sidec hick to my auntys husband in Unilag days..let me just shut up, she has also wrecked a lot of homes..we are not judged by our past so I don’t understand why shes hell bent on bringing Maje down..plus she made a decision to marry Maje even after she knew he was with Anita. Toke , you will reap what you sew.

  46. nene

    November 30, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Lol, sotay even MI wan come dey form Player. FOH.

  47. courage

    November 30, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    No bashing abeg…Anita has always been in the picture………..may God heal all of them

  48. Trish

    November 30, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    Everyone has a truth to tell but they don’t go about writing a book to do that. I have always seen Toke as someone who craves attention badly and i think that is what has driven her to do most of the things she did for the sake of “Love”. She obviously has complexity issues and has still not been able to manage or cure them hence the book. I will not take her story as “truth” until all sides have been heard. But there are still some things I admire about her; her resilience to be noticed and her hard work regime. These are good attributes to imbibe if you want to be something in this world. Anyway, well done dear, at least you’ve got a back bone. #stronggirlwithstrongissues #storyofourlives

    • baby oku

      November 30, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      so who defines how your truth should be told? it doesn’t matter to humanity whether u believe her or not she has chosen how to tell her truth…smh at how myopic we Nigerians can be mschweeeeeew

  49. rain

    November 30, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    MI is a short stupid man

  50. remi

    November 30, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    Toke sympathy act …..MI is now calling all men with his short willy………………..Ode ni

  51. Mimi

    November 30, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    There really is no strength in her outburst. A man or woman with no emotional control is one that has given up control over her life. It takes a whole lot of strength and will power to remain unfazed, comported in the face of adversity which the other two parties appears to be doing and I hope the keep it that way. That’s really the best way to counteract this type of malignant behavior. THE BEST REVENGE IS TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. People have a way of wrecking themselves when you give them time. Acting out of emotions creates a ripple effects that engulfs the victim. I worry for our children and the society we live in when acting out of emotions, oversharing masked as strength is now the norm. These behaviors are detrimental to our kids who are the future of tomorrow. As we continue to grow in our experiences and struggle, may we be mindful of the effects of our words and actions. Thanks everyone for your compliments. May we all remain blessed.

  52. ngozi

    November 30, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    Wow i agree with M.I that men need to do better. but my focus is on empowering Women to love and respect ourselves. Should we ignore the fact that Toke allowed most of the rubbish in her relationship? when are we going to wake up as women? if you do not respect yourself, no one child, boy, girl, adult will respect you. You cannot blame someone else for your stupidity. She wants people to go “eh ya, she went through alot, shes strong e.t.c” but shes only hurting herself. no matter how much of an adulterous woman Anita has been, getting pregnant for another man, I dont support putting her down and revealing Anita’s own mistakes/stupidity – Anita (sex tape with Maje, STD from Maje, asking for money). To me Toke should have written the book in a way that shows her pain without defaming the other. I am a woman but i wont jump on the toke and Anita praising/bashing at all. just stating fact, the 3 parties here are all just a mess with the, premarital, unprotected sex, manipulation, lies, STD, stupidity, sex positions and sex tape and all manner of disgusting things. Where is the Character in all the parties involved? Toke just let it go, you really thought that because you went to registry to do wedding he will be faithful to you after his history with Anita which you knew about? Eeehh ya. Kpele. then the “strong woman Toke” goes on to tell girls to disrespect their bodies by having one night stands? Chai?!!!! Some men still cheat regardless of how good or bad they are, but the main thing is to keep LOVING AND RESPECTING YOURSELF no matter what, and not defaming the other. WOMEN WAKE UP BIKO!!!!…

  53. Bisi

    November 30, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    Bleaching, free sex, sex positions, tape and e.t.c is all Anita’s fault. I remember when Toke was getting married and people were saying a rumor that Maje left her at the registry once or twice, warning her of what she was getting into. Now the rumour came out to be true (maybe she thought – you guys are haters etc and went ahead). I have a feeling the same will happen to her with this book but time will tell. Goodluck Toke but you have bad people around you. I mean Arese ( a woman that suggested or almost wanted another woman should have abortion when Maje said Anita was pregnant- they are your besties abi? Probably all them MFM people that were praying for Toke to take the man by fire by force. lol. All your fake friends allowing you to wash your dirty laundry in public with the “oh I am so proud of you” – fakeness) – whilst they are getting on with their lives nicely. Please seek GOD if you need real friends cos i really do feel you are ALONE and LOST!! i will keep praying for you to heal better! hugs xxxx 🙂

  54. MiDe

    November 30, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Love is never enough in marriage or even a relationship. The world makes you believe that once you are in love, then every other thing will be perfect in marriage, it makes you think that because there is love, then even if the person’s character is so ugly, in marriage he or she would change. That’s just pure deception.

    What you can’t handle in a relationship, you won’t be able to handle in marriage. Some men would never change till the day God decides to change them. As young women, we need to pray more and have a personal relationship with God, this helps. The world is just messed up, with imperfect people walking on its surface everyday, but in the midst of bad people, we still have good people. There are women married to Nigerian men with no issues and then there are the unlucky ones.

    There are pre-marital classes in churches for those of us who are Christians, a lot of people tend to skip these classes because love is what matters. Pre-marital classes help you ponder hard if you are really ready for marriage because you would see old couples give you real life examples and how they were able to manage the problem. I know talking about God seems to be a taboo now in this generation because so many people are stuck with pop culture and separate it from the real world.
    This is just a general thought.

    I hope Toke heals. I hope we start letting God take the wheel in our lives, whether it’s perfect or messed up. I hope we understand that socialites or celebrities are human beings. I hope that if we make mistakes like Toke, we would expect nothing less than the love and affection of our family/friends.

    • Idomagirl

      November 30, 2016 at 11:19 pm

      Best comment here.

  55. mimi

    November 30, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    As per the writing guide, reproducing a story wholesale it’s all a question of degree. If you make a character look, sound and behave exactly the same as someone you know, You have crossed the bounds. Do it with caution and always with the question in your mind: how would I feel if they said this about me? If the answer is ‘I’d feel like crap,’ do yourself and your family a favor and modify it. Her outburst was nothing of strength but lack of emotional control. When you have no control over your life, you are bated to react by circumstance. It takes a lot of strength to be composed and unfazed in the face of adversity which the guy and the other lady in question appears to be doing and I hope the keep it that way. The best response to counteract this malignant behavior is to keep you cool. THE BEST REVENGE IS TO DO NOTHING, PEOPLE HAVE A WAY OF ROPING THEMSELVES IN DUE TIME. And one has to imagine the mental state of someone continually granting interview to harper on the saddest moments of their life. She will be answering questions for months to come. Whatever you give your attention to magnifies and grows in your experience What has the world come to. Even if everything you write about someone is completely true, you still need to consider their privacy. Invasion of privacy occurs when you publicly disclose private facts not related to public concern. As we continue to evolve as human beings, may we be mindful of our actions and words and how its transcends through the path. This oversharing of all things with material and intimate details truly puts the emotional and psychological state of our kids at risk. Everything is not for public consumption.

  56. Felinda

    November 30, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    So according to reviews Toke mentioned Maje 378 times and her growing career was only mentioned twice.

    Whao the power of a big dick. ???????

    I thought all of all gullibles were buying so maybe she teach u how she career grew.

  57. Efya

    November 30, 2016 at 9:15 pm

    Toke you been opening ya legs sewing and Fcking since ya teenage years and still is, as for your body count , I don’t know. And you have the audacity to bring God in any Conversation, which God . You are already Cursed. Poor thang. Keep God’s name out Ya mouth before he strikes you.

    If you going to continue to disrespect God (excuse my language) please at least keep him out your mouth.

    And somebody will let their child look up to this Lunatic as role model?

  58. Kiki

    December 1, 2016 at 1:04 am

    ????You actually had me give the book to my young son to count how many times to verify that figure of 300 something I read on nairaland.com and yes u are right ohh, he does mention him a lot, but still, I honestly don’t know what to think. I got my own problems I need to deal with. I can’t believe I wasted my time to read this all in few hours. I should have waited to read reviews.

  59. Ndidi

    December 1, 2016 at 1:32 am

    Felinda u are funny pass, hahahahaha

    did u say power of the big dick.

    Oh Lord we have all been there. That thing will make u lose your religion I swear.

    So for all of you asking why did she not walk away all this while and stayed 10yrs plus?, well u got your answer. THE ANSWER IS

    BIG DICK AND BED SKILLS,

    that MAKES WOMEN ACT STUPID.

    Even after this book who agrees with me Toke is not over Maje and still loves him and if Maje wanted to hit it one last time, he surely can. It would not take much effort.

    This girl is not over Maje one bit. She misses the big dick and all the styles

  60. Lovely

    June 30, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    Lovely website, and informative content too.

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