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Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary Oscar & Titi Oyinsan! Read Oscar’s Article on their Secret to a Successful Marriage

BellaNaija.com

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Media personalities Oscar Oyinsan and Titi Oyinsan are celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary today and as a result, Oscar has shared a lengthy post about their journey together and the secret to a successful union.

He wrote:

Where do I begin? (You might want to pull up a chair for this if you want to know to secret to a lasting marriage/relationship) This Wooden Anniversary message (yep! that’s what 5 years of marriage is called apparently…not as flattering as Silver ,Golden or Diamond but it’s a start) is not to highlight the traits that the world already knows you have @titithedynamite…Hardworker, Woman of Faith, Children lover, Entrepreneur, Superwoman, Stubborn Woman, Beautiful, Inspiring, Media Woman per excellence, Understanding, most times Patient and of course the one I love best…My Cheerleader This “wooden” message is dedicated to the people who have lost faith in the sacred institution called marriage …or those who believe that they won’t find ” the one” . The truth is that there is no “one” at first sight…..but there is “someone” that can be nutured through faith and hardwork by both parties to become the “one”. Those close to me know that I have always said that  anyone can marry anyone IF you are willing to  compromise on certain things in the relationship in addition to the fact that the person you end up with MUST be wort all the pain they will bring your way…If they are not worth the pain, then my friend #ontothenextone! cos the pain WILL COME !!!! I have always been an advocate of everyone’s right to pursue what makes them happy and run away from things that don’t….why? cos you only have #1lifetolive

By the way…that was not the secret to a good marriage/relationship…thats towards the end of this message #justwait

I have erred… I have lost my way several times (any man that tells you otherwise is a …..#fillintheblanks) but @titithedynamite has always been my due North…my North star…My way back home and that is why my loyalty and love to her will be eternal

The joys of our union is evident in blessings like our children @amberandrubyoyinsan aka Iyanu and Anu Oyinsan (…for the “don’t they have name” peepu #choi ) and all the projects that we have both embarked on individually and collectively based on a strong conviction and the mandate we have been given by God as individuals and as 1 unit.

We live in a different world now where people base their perception of life at the speed of thought or text based on what is seen and not what is unseen or working in the background. Social media platform is a double edged sword, it cuts both ways but for today people, it will be used for good! So please focus on the message… This medium and message is being used to light up the dark places in our hearts and minds that have been bombarded with the notion that marriage is “not worth it”. or “an impossible task”. It is worth it because love in all its facets was not meant to be enjoyed alone. It’s to be shared between 2 people who deeply love and care for one another till death do them part.
Since its our wooden Anniversary, a very apt analogy (that I will never forget) was given by Daddy Adeboye aka Daddy GO when he came for the formal opening of where I used to work He said, I am paraphrasing: “A man is like a rough piece of wood and a woman like sandpaper. The carpenter will keep rubbing one against the other until smoothness is achieved for the piece of wood, the friction is needed to achieve this smoothness. What happens eventually is that the wood and the sandpaper at the end of the task end up both having smooth surfaces” #willleavethisherefornow

The friction is all the bad stuff in marriage/relationship …the smoothness is all the good stuff which you will only be able to truly judge at the end of the “task”.

This wooden analogy is what the building blocks of marriage (or any relationship) is based on. It’s not a function of faith or skin colour or tribe or ethnicity or the church you attend/don’t attend OR the job you have or the good/bad family you came from.. All the things I mentioned have their place in a  marriage/relationship (positively and negatively) but the analogy its just a principle that when applied will give the desired result or outcome.

In our journey as a couple, we have always had an added advantage, a secret weapon that has kept us strong and guided (this is where the secret lies people) ..we have a verse (our verse) from the Bible that states “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up” _James 4:10. This verse is literally set in stone in our home as a daily reminder when you walk in and out of the door.

Emphasis is on “sight of the Lord” and not man. Only God who made you  knows you the way others don’t and can’t. Others might have an idea of who you are (as an individual or a couple) or what you represent based on their yardstick from  their personal experiences…but ultimately God sees your heart so please live your life(ves) for him and him alone. There are other principles (Biblical and otherwise) that time won’t permit me to, but please embrace the general idea here.

When you live your life for God …and your partner do also, you will look back with a smile on your wooden (5th),Tin (10th), Crystal (15th), China (20th #nocommentonthisonesha) , Silver (25th), Pearl (30th), Ruby (40th), Golden (50th) and Diamond (60th)…anything after na extra time sha #waawu#justsaying

I like to call this principle the triangle. (this is the secret people so gerrin here) The two people form the base of the triangle and look up to God , the apex. What happens is when your partner hurts you OR does something you dislike…you look up NOT sideways to your partner for comfort or justification of their action. Hold them accountable o but peace of mind for yourself comes from looking up. If all parties are in sync…the triangle will always stand for ever

All my English and analogy about patience, understanding, the wood and sandpaper is based on the two looking across from one another and not up to the Apex.  It might be stable for a while BUT the ultimate stability happens when you both look up!

As @titithedynamite and @oscarinthecity lookup to our apex, Please do join us in saying a prayer or 2 or tagging someone that this message will inspire to always look up to God in relationship..work or any aspect of their lives.

This is a principle that has worked for us as a unit through 4 years of courtship and 5 years today of marriage. Even if this does not work for you or is not working, Its our prayer that God in his infinite wisdom grants you the wisdom to discern that which works for you. Don’t be afraid to make those mistakes but more importantly don’t be ashamed to look up to the apex when there is no other option. Man will always fail or disappoint (please don’t hold it against them, it’s OUR nature to let one another down, no matter how noble our intentions are). This is why you are getting married to the “God” in your partner and not just your partner. The “devil” in people is what a lot of us base our judgements on

Like the Actor Donald Sutherland said in the 2003 movie, The Italian Job ” I trust everyone, I just don’t trust the devil inside them”

There is great joy to be found after the pain. Trust us…we know

No family without family support…A big thankyou to the Adelagun and Oyinsan families (both nuclear and extended)

We have both learnt a lot from our families and we stand strong 5 years after our families merged because of your unrelenting prayers, support and advice over the years. #youknowurselves #wink. May God’s blessings and protection never depart from our families IJN

To our friends, colleagues over the years who know our story , our beginnings..thankyou so much for your contribution to our testimony.
To those we have touched directly or indirectly through our gifts as individuals or a couple, we stay keep hope alive..there is a reason you are alive..there is a purpose to your existence, Please don’t give up.

God in his infinite mercy and wisdom continue to bless you all as we dedicate our 5 years today as an offering and a testimony to the institution called marriage.

ps: On a wedding anniversary in many countries it is traditional to give a gift to your partner to symbolize the number of years of marriage. So #basedonlogistics baby, there is a 4X4  Oakwood under your pillow #woodenanniversary #loveyoulongtime …next stop #TINanniversary. Happy 5th Anniversary Titilayomi…Thankyou for being on my team and being an excellent mum to our girls. I am so happy they have you to look up to.

Aspire, Achieve, Together, Forever #TGL2017 #mydynamitewoman #mamabejitomoye #iyawooscar #iyaamberandruby

18 Comments

  1. pretty

    April 28, 2017 at 9:03 am

    AFI SECRET

  2. Aderonke

    April 28, 2017 at 9:48 am

    Awwww Oscar Baba. & Titi Fanta (Baba & Mama IbejI) as you celebrate today as a milestone in your home, may the Lord continue to light up your home and give your grace and strength to give your angels the best. Love you guys loads!

  3. Nani

    April 28, 2017 at 9:55 am

    Wow! Beautiful, deep, genuine, thought provoking piece. GOD’S Blessings in your home.

  4. Mrs O

    April 28, 2017 at 10:18 am

    “A man is like a rough piece of wood and a woman like sandpaper. The carpenter will keep rubbing one against the other until smoothness is achieved for the piece of wood, the friction is needed to achieve this smoothness. What happens eventually is that the wood and the sandpaper at the end of the task end up both having smooth surfaces” This is my take out… Very deep

    • Ann

      April 28, 2017 at 12:24 pm

      How is this deep? Think am nah. The wood becomes smooth and valuable and the sandpaper loses its value and becomes useless. How is this a good thing?! Words mean things.

    • kilipot

      April 28, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      Hahhahhahaha. I didn’t see this coming at all. But u are so right!!!!

  5. Damie

    April 28, 2017 at 10:56 am

    A couple i admire. Congrats on your 5th anniversary. God bless your home!!

  6. Naina

    April 28, 2017 at 11:13 am

    Humble yourselves in the sight of God.
    Wow.

  7. jay

    April 28, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    “A man is like a rough piece of wood and a woman like sandpaper. The carpenter will keep rubbing one against the other until smoothness is achieved for the piece of wood, the friction is needed to achieve this smoothness. What happens eventually is that the wood and the sandpaper at the end of the task end up both having smooth surfaces”
    The man becomes better, but the woman loses who she is. Wood with smooth surface…Great! Sandpaper with smooth surface…useless!

    • Corolla

      April 28, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      Lol! Whatever works for their marriage. If the sandpaper is not complaining….

    • Frida

      April 28, 2017 at 12:19 pm

      What a defeatist way to look at it.

    • Ann

      April 28, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Please which other way should we look at it? IS this not English language again? Don’t words mean things anymore?

    • Dream

      April 28, 2017 at 4:42 pm

      It’s not defeatist at all.
      What good is smooth sandpaper?
      The man’s value increases while the woman’s diminishes?
      Well, many of our people think that way sha.

  8. word

    April 28, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    I’ld rather the ‘iron sharpeneth iron’ analogy than the sandpaper-wood analogy. In the latter, one becomes useful at the expense of the other. Sandpaper?….that is not what I came to this world to be

  9. Yy

    April 28, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Happy wedding anniversary to both of you. How i look forward to this kind of wishes, he makes all things beautiful in it’s time (Ecl 3: 11)

  10. MercyI

    April 28, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    The Wordings Mehn, Congratulations Dearies, May You Continue To Soar In God”s Grace, Wisdom….Happy Wedding Anniversary

  11. nne

    April 28, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Whenever someone tells me to pull up a chair that they are about to drop wisdom, i roll my eyes. Abegi. That sandpaper analogy is proof that people should always be in a state of learning, it is not every time we should be forming expert. 5 years is still kindergarten, you can share what you have learned, but you never reach to start dropping secrets to successful marriage advice.

  12. olanna&odenigbo

    April 28, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    what is defeatist? Don’t you understand the natural purposes of the two materials used in the example? What have you personally ever used smooth sandpaper for?
    Just say Daddy GO didn’t mean it in this context or that Oscar didn’t think it too far…. ewo tun wa ni defeatist?…

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