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“I believed that a wise woman builds her home. That’s why I stayed that long” – Mercy Aigbe Speaks Out in New Interview

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"I believed that a wise woman builds her home. That’s why I stayed that long" -  Mercy Aigbe Speaks Out in New Interview

Nollywood actor, Mercy Aigbe whose marital troubles caused by domestic violence have been making waves online, shares her story exclusively with Broadway TV.

Mercy had accused her husband of physical violence that has affected her sight and caused her to bleed internally from the alleged physical abuse on Sunday, April 16, 2017.

When she was asked why she came out to say her husband never touched her, she was quick to refute it. “I never for once came out to say that my husband did not beat me. The video people were referring to happened in 2013 when there were rumours of such and I did a video recording alongside my husband to debunk the claim. At that time I had to do it to protect his image and my marriage. I had to do a live video at that time”, she said.

Read excerpts from the interview

On the beating and why she stayed: He beats me consistently I stayed because I loved him and because everytime he beats me, he begs and gets family and friends to beg me. He promised regularly to change but he never did. When my husband gets angry, he gets physical, not only to me but to anyone. He has done that with my house help who reported him to the Police years ago. I stayed because of my children and because a lot of people look up to me. I was a role model of some sort and I really wanted to keep it together. I just wanted a home.

On why she wants to leave now: It’s not like I wanted to walk away but I just feel like we need help. I spoke to my husband’s brother about it. I told him I was going to pack out for some time while my husband seeks therapy. I just wanted to feel safe, that is why I moved my things out. This last beating was brutal. I actually thought I was going to die. I’m still coughing and sneezing blood even after three weeks.

On the day of the incident: Mercy had informed her husband that she was attending a burial of her colleague. After his hesitance, she explained that it would not be fair on the lady since she had promised to be there and even invited him to come along.

Mercy revealed that it was her refusal to go and pick her husband up while she was still at her designer’s place that brought the fury of the man on her. He was said to have driven there and started to beat her in the presence of everybody.

She said: Immediately, I opened the door, he kept beating me. I was begging him and asking why he was beating me. He said he would destroy my face such that no makeup would fix it and destroy my career. He was acting like someone who was possessed. I told him “Lanre, mo ma bi mo fun e” (translated as “I have a child for you).

On her husband being detained: My husband was in detention for over seven months and I never left him or go anywhere. Why would I want to go now? He says all this is make-up. He is not showing any form of remorse and still sponsoring lies against me.

Read more from the interview here .

65 Comments

  1. Marie Antoinette

    May 11, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    Oh please! The same lame excuse…
    Thank God you got out alive.

    • onika

      May 11, 2017 at 1:00 pm

      she hasnt left him….. she is still going back probably after ‘she feels he has gone through therapy and he can be fine’………………. what a family tho!

    • GIA

      May 11, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      @onika

      That is really SCARY!!!!!!

  2. keke driver

    May 11, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    NO!! Not again, Not another Tv interview…Oh My gosh!!!

    “I stayed because of my children”>>>>>>NO!! You should have LEFT “BECAUSE OF YOUR CHILDREN” Do you know the psychological effect it’ll have on those children seeing their Father beat up their mum?

    LADIES, PLEASE LEAVE BECAUSE OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!

  3. Ife Love

    May 11, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    BN. Physical abuse Melted down to her? Isn’t that supposed to be ‘meted out to her’?… Guys Pls get back you top notch edits. I love you too much to read stuff a quick edit would have corrected.
    I feel your pain Mercy. Ladies, Pls if DV is involved, get out and get help. Protect yourself. Your children will thank you for it.

    • Ife Love

      May 11, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      *your top notch

  4. June

    May 11, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    Chills over my body. This has to STOP. Violence against women HAS TO STOP. This is the reality for so many people in our country . And I am not just talking about married women and girlfriends. Its also the reality for men and many children from their fathers, mothers , relatives , the list goes on. Abuse and violence has to stop . It is not okay!!! Let’s speak against! Let’s have more laws and help centers to deal with this issue.

    • Mike

      May 11, 2017 at 1:32 pm

      Do you think most time men just hit their women without doing something wrong? Some women mouths are double edge sword and can cut an iroko tree. The man might just say a word and the woman will reply with a thousand insulting words. If you really study it well most women are the reasons for this. You can’t just hit your wife when she has done nothing wrong.

    • Moving on Swiftly

      May 11, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      @ Mike, You are so silly. Didn’t God give you a mouth as well. Can’t you insult back as well or better still, walk away? Why must you beat up someone that obviously does not have the strength to fight you. How would you feel if someone like Mike Tyson or all those big Agbero boys in Oshodi, tell you that you looked at them in a funny way, go ahead to beat you to a pulp and then try to justify it. Jeez, this culture of “she insulted me so I beat her to correct her” is so so dumb and cowardly. Exhibit of a complex! What type of men are mothers raising abeg? I shudder

    • Bleed Blue

      May 11, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      And here’s Mr. Mike, representing the family of “she nags so she deserves to be beaten”.

      If we want to play the blame game, then you may as well say “she nags because he always stays out late”, and then “he stays out late because bla bla bla…” and it goes on and on in a redundant loop.

      Mr. Mike, if you had a nagging female boss, would you beat her up?
      Mr. Mike, do you realize we also have nagging men? What do we then do, since we lack the physical strength to beat them up?
      Mr. Mike, do you genuinely believe the worst words, however said, are deserving of a broken skull and internal bleeding?

      Mr. Mike, because I know there are also violent women, I’ll say this…for women and for men, violence should never be an option. If the marriage has broken down to the extent of needing to settle rifts by violence, it’s no longer a marriage but a prison where you’re simply serving a life sentence. And you need to leave!
      That is the end of that.

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      May 11, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      @MovingOnSwiftly, …. let me share something which I heard about, 3 years ago and it reportedly cropped up during a men’s meeting at church.

      Apparently, someone got up to ask the Pastor who was leading the event, “how do you discipline your wife in front of your children?”.

      Word has it that the Pastor was almost too weak with shock and disbelief to answer this clearly genuine question. Even me who heard it after the fact was even weaker. So, a grown man thought it was okay to seek advice from another grown man about the measures he needs to “discipline” a grown woman, in front of their own children? When she is not a pet dog or a racehorse??

      Started giving alla my church bros the strict side-eye after I heard it – I just could not deal. When you think about the sheer reality of how many men (and women) think it’s okay for a woman to be “disciplined”, just because she happens to currently occupy the confines of a romantic relationship or marriage with those men….. the knowledge is capable of provoking high BP. Along with feelings of depression at how much work there still is to do, to effect real change.

    • Moving on Swiftly

      May 11, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      @ MSA my sister I am just so tired. The thinking is so entrenched in a lot of men, it just makes you weak and wonder where to start the re-orientation from. Such a weakling behaviour! My blood boils when I read such things.

    • Wow

      May 11, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      @Mr. Mike that’s an idiotic statement. Just foolish #datsall

  5. gemonyi

    May 11, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    A man that would hit you, blame you, becomes apologetic, tries to bribe you with gifts, guess what he would hit you again.
    Please run and don’t look back.
    Wisdom is profitable.
    Rip would then be avoided.

  6. babym

    May 11, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    Listen, unless you have been a victim of domestic abuse, don’t criticise the abused person’s decision to stay- for whatever reason. You have no idea how being physically and emotionally abused can mess with ones mind. It is not that black and white to get up and leave. This is why a lot of ppl stay. Just applaud her for being brave enough to get out at the time she did before it was too late. I think abused ppl need a whole lot of encouragement and therapy to find the strength to leave.

    • Mostest

      May 11, 2017 at 2:06 pm

      Your eyes contradicting yourself. It’s not easy to leave but it’s good to leave before it’s too late. Which is it? How do you know when it’s too late?

    • Harriet'

      May 11, 2017 at 10:53 pm

      It’s easy to leave you pack a bag , gather your children and Flee for your lives. I did it my children are in their 20s and thank me everyday for taking them out of a hellish situation. Leaving that drunk was the easiest decision I ever made in my life and like I said I never regret it for one moment of my life, he only hit me once sharp slap across my face in front of my kids, I saw stars I blacked out. When I came to, looked at the anxious faces of my beautiful babies I just knew I had to protect them. I went back to my parents in the VILLAGE, NO LIE, START from scratch. We made ends meet , there was plenty of love to supplement our meatless meals. I got back on my feet . Long story short it is well. So ladies don’t listen to anyone who says it isn’t easy to choose between dying or living. Your natural instinct is to survive.

  7. Mahka

    May 11, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    There’s a lot to be for a man who beats his wife constantly- hypermasculity much.
    I feel bad for Mercy, she looks unrecognizable in that pic. Chai, Sorry nne.
    Then again , this man has been married twice before; we should all inquire more before saying ‘ I do’..
    #saynotodomesticviolence.

  8. gemonyi

    May 11, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    The first and only person i trully dated shut the door on me once and had the key. For about one hour, i was restrained from stepping out, he held me tight and I was struggling and he hit my thigh hardly. It looks like no big deal right.
    I cried my eyes out as this was someone that people look up to.
    Fast forward to last year, 01-01-2016, we were coming from the cross over Service and had a little argument, oga slapped my fore head.
    I told him and his family that I was done. The father and mother begged that i stay since we were planning our wedding ceremony. I obliged and after much plead, I agreed but I was dying inside that everyone talked about how perfect we were. That was the third time he had hit me. I knew I deserved better and yes I took a decision and left without looking back.
    I was 24 then and he once said he would destroy my beautiful face with acid if I left him as I am the only one he can be with in this life.
    It was not the love I once saw in him, he was purely obsessed.
    I would stop here. God help us all. Domestic violence is a no no

    • b

      May 11, 2017 at 2:03 pm

      I wish you did not just stop there. How are you handling it?
      Did you notify the police about his threat, Have you approached the court for a restraining order against him?Have you told family and friends of his threats? Are you undergoing therapy yourself? Is someone within your family/friend circle watching out for both of you? on your part safety and on his part depression and desperate moves or actions?

      Are you praying for him?
      My sister once advised that if i wanted to get a crazy lover off my back i should pray he finds another love interest. I could not pray coz I was bitter but maybe someone else prayed but he got someone else and married her and immediately started forgetting about me. he would only tell people he now has a better life because he has found a better person.
      Which was fine by me coz I started feeling safe.

      To vindicate me, and prove my sister point on him finding someone so he can leave me alone, 7months down the line, the marriage broke up on the same grounds that I broke off my relationship with him but he was no longer talking about me or looking for me.
      It was now the other woman who had a problem and needed out be found and thought a lesson. So prayer can also do it.

      You need to enforce your safety dear. Please find help before he pours the acid because he really might

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      May 11, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      God forbid, please don’t pray he finds another love interest. What lady deserves to be saddled with crazy? Praying gini?

      Biko pray for the Holy Spirit to give him a hard reset instead (by any means necessary), rather than praying for some other woman to fall into the snare that you’ve escaped from.

    • caramel chic

      May 11, 2017 at 11:28 pm

      Gemonyi my heart skipped as you shared your story. Raising two mini girls barely walking. My biggest fear has nothing to do with their education or what careers they will have. My biggIest fear is the words you uttered. That in times off adversity they will not know who they are. Every night I get them to copy my prayer. lord may I know thyself and may I know my worth. I hope as woman you hold unto that prayer to. In all you do know thyself and know whose you are. Virtual love.

  9. Showboy

    May 11, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    Tell him to stop smoking those weeds in their varieties. That’s the therapy.

    • kemisola

      May 12, 2017 at 10:53 am

      U gat d point

  10. Bim

    May 11, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    I don’t still understand why women says ” i stayed because of my children ” pls if u die today, who take care of those children because d foolish man will move on with his life and marry another woman .

  11. Jamce

    May 11, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    And you expect people to sympathise with you? How long would it take to learn from the lesson of others who gave the same excuses to endure and/or get killed in abusive marriages and relationships?

    I guess you stayed because of your pride and the title of Mrs. For those who want to be pampered and encouraged to remain in abusive marriages or relationships, good luck to you if you don’t “borrow sense” and and strong legs to run. When I hear these sentimental and emotive excuses, I only see people with low self esteem.

    Anyway, we def wait for your own unbecoming book o…

    • Mama

      May 11, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      Please don’t judge. Not a lot of women are strong enough to leave a marriage. It is a big deal to decide to break up your home for whatever reason. If you have that strength of character, just thank God. They keep making excuses hoping and praying it will get better. I had tears in my eyes reading this because iv seen it many times. I just pray she stays away from him and isn’t persuaded to go back. A leopard doesn’t change its spot.

  12. Deleke

    May 11, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    Ladies, if any bastard so much as raises a finger on you, wait till he asleep, go Lorena Bobbit on him and cut off his d**k. Stupid men who beat their wives, kilode

  13. survivor

    May 11, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    And your children used to see him wiped ur ass…Bella naija pls update us about the comment Segun arinze’s daughter gave the father..

  14. Amaka

    May 11, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    So finally, this is your real face?

    • lynv

      July 11, 2017 at 4:00 pm

      you are not serious amaka. they are talking abt domestic violence and ur busy talking abt real face and no real face. but come to think of it sha it is true o, look hw shattered and broken she looks compared to her instagram pics

  15. Lizzie

    May 11, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    Mercy just have mercy on yourself and the kids,your daughter is fast becoming an adult. Leave and stand on your grounds (at least don’t let him know you have intentions of coming back to him). What do I know am still thinking about my own problems

  16. MamaD

    May 11, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    A wise woman builds her home but the ADULTEROUS man destroys it.

  17. madman

    May 11, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    A man beating you means he LOVES you. If he doesn’t beat you, he doesn’t love you.

    • Tee

      May 11, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      See wahala oh…when they refused to tighten security at your mental home…

    • madman

      May 11, 2017 at 3:56 pm

      If your MAN doesn’t send you to the grave, he isn’t God-sent. Love involves violence.

    • Ottawa Queen

      May 12, 2017 at 6:05 am

      Na wa o! You’re really Mad.

    • KENNYBONGUS

      May 17, 2017 at 1:41 pm

      I can see that you are really a mad man! Go and beat your mother or sisters in the name of love, idiot, how can you be telling a woman that she got beaten from a man because he loves him? Weakling!

  18. Mostest

    May 11, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    A lot of holes in her story. How does he start beating her at the tailors and not one person filmed it as evidence? She refused to pick him up so he drove, didn’t he have his car in the first place? I’m also not getting the part of him being detained for months. Is he a fraudster? That being said, I think couples should stop showing off their partners on social media, especially when it’s a blatant lie. If you’re living a lie keep it to keep it to yourself and stop trying to show off a perfect marriage.

    • jinkelele

      May 11, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      There’s a link to the full interview.
      Husband was detained a few years back over some business transaction. He owns some hotels

  19. Moving on Swiftly

    May 11, 2017 at 2:29 pm

    There is this viral video of that coward Asian man that beat his wife and damaged her eye. The woman’s father and male relatives got him and beat the shit out of him. With planks and all. The fool was screaming like a banshee and crying like a lil boy. That is how I wish for evil men like Gentry and Mike (supporting stupidity) to be dealt with. Let us know then, if beating a fellow human is okay. #IfTheTablesWereTurned

  20. Pita

    May 11, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    Owk…. So this soap opera is still on going…. !!!.#NO2DV#

  21. nene

    May 11, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    videos are the in thing now. look back at the list of abused wives: tonto, tiwa, ksolo and wife, now mercy. these women all had questionable boyfriends/husbands. Pick your men/women wisely.

  22. dd

    May 11, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    It’s easier to point fingers and judge her…. its only a mad man that hits himself…. What GOD has joined together makes no man asunder…..

  23. Funmi

    May 11, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    I will repeat this as long as I have my breadth, Everyone blaming the victims of DV, because they are in the public eye will have the same fate befall them in Jesus name. And don’t come at me….Do you know that this same fate befalls most women out there….and here you are, a Judge of celebrities character? Some years back, my friend decided to leave her boyfriend for reasons best known to her, only for the same guy to threaten her day and night and also threaten me if I do not make them get back together. Then one evening he went to her hostel, threaten her and somehow dragged her to his place and raped her like multiple time, all through the night while she cried and begged no one in the pathetic building could come to her help. Did she report to anyone? No. That memory will live with her. May the good Lord continue to strengthen these victims.

  24. gemonyi

    May 11, 2017 at 3:45 pm

    @ b
    It’s over a year now. I definitely pray for him. Unfortunately he is not in a relationship. I told my mum and his parents about the threat. The third time, his father told me we should report him at the police station cos he hid my Nysc I.d, mum’s debit card and mine.
    Sometimes this guys pick this up from their father. I overheard his mum and himself talking about it, they taught I was asleep. I wish I ran then because he had not tried it. Most importantly I’m somewhat far from him and I’m at Peace.
    Thank you b.

  25. madman

    May 11, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    Just like Tiwa Savage is still with her husband. Find a coach to counsel you so you can stay with your boo …. Where are the healing coaches in Nigeria who men relationships between MAD men and women?

  26. madman

    May 11, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    mend**

  27. dd

    May 11, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Spiritual ties can make married folks stay together… willingly or not..;marriage is not a do or die affair and not forced on anyone…it’s choice, matured and spiritual choice with commitment and hats why precautions need to be taken b4 you attempt to… read books, go for counselling, go with your gutt instinct and learn about people, you have to be sure if you share same values and faith and not cos one is lonely, or the man is rich or comes from a rich family but that he has the FEAR OF GOD … and knows that you are worth staying forever with and being prayerful, cos like the bible says we dont wrestle against flesh and blood but against principlalities. …I Will so see someone say Nigerians turn things to spiritual things.. but really everything that happens starts in the spirit before it manifests physical……

    • dd

      May 11, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      I like your comment, but you stole my name 🙁

  28. Abi

    May 11, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    A wise woman stays ALIVE and WHOLE ! That’s what a wise woman does!!!! God gave you a life to live, a violent marriage is a sorry excuse to lose it.
    Word of advice o ye women of Nigeria – When is it time to leave? When you find you need to protect yourself from him. When you get butterflies in your tummy for fear of what his wrath will earn you. When your heart beats fast not in anticipation of his kiss but of his fist. Sisters, borrow sense : FLEE!

  29. ani

    May 11, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    All this actress and their cry cry. how can one be certain this is not some prosthetic makeup.

    When e dey sweet una no talk cry ur cry

  30. OJ

    May 11, 2017 at 6:01 pm

    Just one question, when the money was flowing left right centre from oga to her, why didn’t she leave? after all she claims the man had been beating her for long even when business was good…after all, he bankrolled you on a lot of levels, you have the extra change you make from films and endorsements, you had all the resources at your disposal
    i dont go with the becos of my kids story and the bible she’s quoting is contradictory to the questionable life she was living…

    • Debbie

      May 11, 2017 at 6:25 pm

      How do you know the money was flowing left, right and center???? She is an actress. Can she not make her own money?

    • caramel chic

      May 11, 2017 at 11:22 pm

      Oga Jesus @OJ continue walking on water. Na you holy past abi?
      You clealry missed the scripture that says’ all have fallen short of the glory. May compassion and humility one day reign in your life.

  31. Farida

    May 11, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    There is no reason whatsoever to hit a woman ,your wife ,your girl friend period . 2ndly you should not stay in such environment and say because of your children. One slap and you bounce.

  32. john

    May 11, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    it is only a fool that will believe a woman version of story or any online story..a big fool..I dont even believe any of them both the husband and wife..to me , they deserve each other ……for all those people believing her, I hope ur sons and brothers end up marrying the likes of mercy, tonto etc now say Amen

    • kaf

      May 11, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      John you wicked no be small…..which kind prayer be that.Anyways there are two sides to every story but no one listens to a wife batterer.You can’t beat a woman not even your wife it’s not acceptable.

  33. godwin

    May 11, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Nigerians are such hypocrites. You treat unmarried women like skin rash and wonder why they refuse to work away from violent relationships,duh!
    Women are made to feel worthless even by fellow women if they are unmarried hence these women reckon it is better staying with dick heads as husbands rather than being on their own and safe.
    The society must take partial responsibility for such acts happening.

    • caramel chic

      May 11, 2017 at 11:19 pm

      oh @godwin you can’t blame these women. Majority of us were raised over the period of 18years to feel inferior to our brothers/male cousins/ To see the fellow women as competition. The sad thing is these narratives are being repeated. Don’t you remember as a teenegae girl your mum would say’ shh don’t tell eze, keep it to yourself’ see how women from a young age were taught to protect themselves from other women…hm Nigeria my heart breaks for us. EVen wil all this social media the only thing that has gone up are the rates of weddings. Nothing much has really changed. I know everyone is crying girl child ,..girl child. But if we do notstart raising our boys with sense!!!!! our girls of the future have no option. Sense means correcting your Son abuout what it is to be a man. If you have a crap husband, you better bring some mentors into your Son;s life. We just can;t coninue to churn out, highyl educated, highly driven men., Who lack communciation skills or the respect for women.

  34. Everything's rosie

    May 11, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    A wise woman is first and foremost a living woman!

  35. Narcist for a minute

    May 12, 2017 at 12:39 am

    For some reason this reminds me of the scene in Tyler perry’s “for coloured girls’ where that abusive man killed his children. The woman could have avoided that if she had walked away sooner. Mercy biko Jisiike

  36. Kreamy

    May 12, 2017 at 8:06 am

    At least 130 UK women are known or suspected to have been killed by men in 2015. 130 women dead in 365 days is one woman dead every 2.8 days.
    kareningalasmith.com/counting-dead-women/2015-2/

    • Equality

      May 12, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      Please also add the statistics for men as well, this is not to take away attention from women’s issues but to highlight on a human issue as we are both in this together.

  37. Gift

    May 12, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    A lot of stories goes like this “am with him because of my kids” that means lake of confidence, building your family or Life on a man, That is not a life is called” slavery”
    Every One has the right to choose what they want.
    Violence in a marriage or a relationship kills loves.
    Please women should understand what empowerment his..

    Thanks Mercy for telling your story.

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