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Aunty Bella: Miss. I Don’t Have His Mumu Button

BellaNaija.com

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Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.

This story was posted by a BellaNaijarian in another post. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.

***
Sorry to derail this post but I need to gift you guys.

I met a guy at my best friend’s wedding. He didn’t hide the fact that he wanted me. His eyes followed me everywhere and guys I liked him. I haven’t been in love for 10 years; in fact my heart had felt nothing at all – except give me money; but I felt something for this guy.

We spent the night together and it was beautiful. I didn’t call or try to keep in touch. I let him do it and he did: Facetiming, messages etc. I spent the last weekend with him and it was beautiful – movies, music, talking, arguing, laughing.

I was ill on Thursday, he found out on Friday when he called me and only asked once, afterwards to confirm what the doctor said, and if I was taking my drugs. On Saturday, he sent a message asking if I was fine. I called in the evening, and he called back. (He never let’s me call because the conversations are usually long and he doesn’t want to waste my airtime) When I asked him if he was worried when I was ill, he said he wasn’t, because it was malaria and I’ll be fine. Then we had this long conversation about stuff. I told him I was buying an IPhone 7 plus this week because my 6 was stolen, and he didn’t even offer to give me money – even when I told him I felt old and unattractive to be buying myself a phone. I haven’t bought myself a phone in a long time; what are chokers for? All he said was we all get to that point where we start buying things for ourselves.

I begged him to watch Alakada with me, he said he’d watch any other movie, but not Alakada ’cause that’s not his type of film; that he’ll pay for me to watch and wait outside. I felt so hurt and I told him, at least he should make sacrifices for me and then he asked if I didn’t think being on the phone for 3 hours with me wasn’t a sacrifice. (is it? Shouldn’t he be excited to talk to me)

I feel he got me easily; he didn’t work for it and I’m going to change that. I won’t drive to his house again. He’d have to come pick me or pay for my uber. I’m falling for him but I can’t fall for a guy that I don’t have his mumu button, it will be disastrous.

Yesterday, I said I miss you 4 times and he only said I miss you once.

I need your opinion, girls. I don’t have female friends around.

Photo Credit: Igor Mojzes | Dreamstime.com

52 Comments

  1. Ajala & Foodie

    June 11, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    O lawd BN!!! Really??? Mumu button for real?? Well, since my take is you don’t want to marry a mumu, why are you looking for a mumu button? I can’t deal with the height of entitlement in this write-up. No, I can’t!!! just out of curiosity, what have you done for him apart from telling him you miss him 4 times? Smh and I am a woman.

    • Honestina

      June 11, 2017 at 10:02 pm

      Hahahahaha. Omg.
      This is the funniest Aunty Bella post I’ve read on this site in my 7yrs here. Seriously??? You said I’ve missed you 7X and he replied once, looool.
      If you’re less than 20yrs, we can pardon the childish ness other than that, sweety GROW UP.

    • Farida

      December 11, 2017 at 9:10 am

      If I just started talking to a guy that I see myself in a relationship with and he offered to buy me an iPhone 7plus after telling him I was getting one for myself, I will question his priorities and that’ll be a turn off. Why are you spending that amount of money to buy a phone for someone you only just started talking to? There is a problem with your money spending habit and I’m not dealing with that. Also, he’ll come off as a mumu to me. He seems like an honest and straightforward guy and clearly, thats not what you are looking for. Also, erase that mentality of entitlement from men, especially not a man that has not committed to you in anyway, you are embarrassing yourself sis. Stop it.

  2. TeeS

    June 11, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    He sounds like a very practical guy(I’m female)
    He shouldn’t be offering to buy you a phone . If you wanna waste over 600$ to buy an iPhone 7. Sure go ahead .
    You feel old & unattractive to buy yourself a phone.
    You need to look deep inside yourself and ditch your mentality. When guys come and start saying all we want is money. We get mad. But when young women like yourself have this personality and mind set
    A man is not your bank. Whether you’re attractive , young , old , unattractive. It’s not HIS job to offer you money to buy you a phone .
    He didn’t wanna watch a movie. Respect his opinions or his views. You shouldn’t force a grown man to watch a movie. Next time pick something both of you can relate too. At least he offered to pay and wait for you.
    That’s why we have alone time , go watch it yourself or with friends who want to watch such.
    I won’t be guilt tripped into watching something I can’t stand either .
    In general your mind set is puzzling . You’re living in false sense of security. You want a man that you can control? Are you listening and processing what you’re saying .?
    Why would you want to love someone who can’t disagree with you or say not to you?
    That’s bondage .
    You need to speak with someone and change your mindset. It’s very sad and puzzling . …..you have a false sense of entitlement .
    Go and work on yourself . Understand the meaning of love . Sacrifice , self love, tolerance , understanding, patience , diplomacy, commitment
    You NEED to go work on you. You’re definitely not ready for any sort of commitment .
    Didn’t mean to judge you. But you needed to hear the Truth

    • COMMENTER

      June 11, 2017 at 7:48 pm

      Preach! Yes please preach it. I am perplexed by this write up. Please listen to TeeS .

    • COMMENTER

      June 11, 2017 at 7:49 pm

      Thank you Tees for enlightening her!

    • AceOfSpades

      June 11, 2017 at 7:56 pm

      If you meet a really bad boy, all he needs is to tap into this insecurities (?) and you add to his number and yours too. By the time you realize this is a better deal, he’d have gone far off you. Most guys don’t even have a mumu button. They are either horny or don’t want wahala.

    • Ese V

      June 11, 2017 at 10:50 pm

      *slow clap*
      nothing else to say, you covered it all!

  3. ButtercuP

    June 11, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    Women would just be giving the likes of John the opportunity to call us fish brain?????

  4. Ajala & Foodie

    June 11, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    I forgot to add though, what exactly are being “gifted” ? Or is this some new slang?

    • o

      June 11, 2017 at 10:44 pm

      I think she meant to write gist. Autocorrect

  5. *****

    June 11, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    I will just post what came to my mind after reading

    ….singing… God of Elijah, send down fire

    its been years i heard the song and I am so sorry I don’t have anything more to add. The good people of this space will help out, I am sure.

  6. Mr. Egghead

    June 11, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    You don’t deserve him. He’s way too good for you.
    That’s why you’re looking for a mumu button.

    You don’t want a partner to grow old with. What you want is a sugardaddy, a pot-bellied alhaji who will buy iphone 7 and pay for your uber. Those corpulent money-bags have an easily identifiable mumu button – just stroke their thigh and ask for money

  7. Nini

    June 11, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    Lol, if i had such luck with a guy… I mean he calls and speak to you for hours, he even offered to pay your movie ticket since he didn’t like the movie, he’ll stay outside. And you’re complaining about him telling u he misses you just once. Madam, your way far gan. You’re asking for too much where some people are looking for even half of that attention and gesture. Anyways, you can never know the value of what you have until you loose it.

  8. Ada

    June 11, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    lol. This shit can’t be real. If it is, you definitely don’t deserve him. Keep listening to your stupid friends lie about what their boyfriends do and don’t do for them.

  9. R&B

    June 11, 2017 at 7:59 pm

    How old are you again? You sound like a child crying for lollipop when offered Haribo. Please grow up.

    • le coco

      June 11, 2017 at 8:16 pm

      I thought the same thing.. she sounds like a child.. or a love struck pre-teen. why shld à man pay for ur a phone.. a man that hasn’t asked u to be his girldrig/wife..? Abeg.. She néeds to borrow sense..

      The man called her when she was sick, and called multiple times to ensure that she was ok.. Nd the Babe doesnt see that the guy cares it’s phone and Alakada she is looking for.. mtchew

  10. Dt

    June 11, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    She is obviously a child

  11. o

    June 11, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    How old are you again? 16???????

  12. Joy

    June 11, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    I know everyone is mad at her and her story
    But serious talk please can ya’ll give tips or give a sister some wise advice
    You know how you start a relationship and the guy is mad about you and you are on cloud nine
    Then he gets to that point where he doesn’t make that much effort or can’t be too bothered…and you miss that guy that was mad over you ?
    How do you get that “mumu bottom” (for lack of a better word) back? Or you just give up and get comfortable with this new state of affairs?!?

    • Mawi

      June 11, 2017 at 11:28 pm

      Tell him exactly how u feel! End of!

  13. Spunky

    June 11, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    Long mtcheewwwww!!!

  14. Art

    June 11, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    Majority of girls nowadays are control freaks, no wonder there’s​ a lot of divorce cases lately, girls without character wanting to get married because it’s trendy and not because they are mature for marriage. no man wants to be controlled by a woman. Most Girls when they don’t get their way try to manipulate their men by throwing​ tantrum like spoilt brats. If I’m in a relationship with a woman and she begins to show a sense of entitlement, like it’s my duty to take care of all your needs, I’ll just take a walk cos to me that’s no different from prostitution.

    • Madman

      June 12, 2017 at 4:37 am

      You sound like someone I know. ?

  15. Mawi

    June 11, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    The unfortunate thing is, so many girls think like this. The moment a guy shows interest in them, it becomes his job to finance their lives and bend to their will. Dumb cheap girls everywhere with no class nor self-respect. What do u have to offer him that makes u feel so entitled to his money, or his mumu button? Let me guess, a pretty face? All these small chewing gum girls stay doing the most. I’m waiting for John & company to come eat u raw. No lady in her right senses will support ur dumb ass. By the way, I’m female but u are an embarrassment to hardworking, self respecting women out there. #pissed

  16. Andre Cooper

    June 11, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Fake ass story

    • Wendy

      June 11, 2017 at 9:39 pm

      No o! It’s actually a comment on another post! hahaha!

  17. laydkay

    June 11, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Lol!!! That’s all I can say. Girl, grow up.

  18. Akara Pancake

    June 11, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    His name may be John, but when it comes to this dating thing, you are the true JJC.

    With a mindset like yours, John is going to have fun fuccing you for free

  19. vicky

    June 11, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    Girl just firget him. You lost a good man. He has read btw the lines in your interactions with him and has seen through your personality. Just admit you have been GHOSTED!! Smh… I cant believe you need help to figure this out.

  20. CurvesAndEdges

    June 11, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    How old are you? 12? Bella Naija and the stories they post, smh

  21. Keeky

    June 11, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    I cringed reading this.
    Especially reading: “I told him I was buying an IPhone 7 plus this week because my 6 was stolen, and he didn’t even offer to give me money – even when I told him I felt old and unattractive to be buying myself a phone.”

    Smh. ??‍♀️

  22. Carmen

    June 11, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    “Yesterday, I said I miss you 4 times and he only said I miss you once.”

    This part killed me. How old are you again?Darling…you need to work on you. Build your self confidence first.

    • Mz_Danielz

      June 11, 2017 at 9:56 pm

      You know this self confidence thing has been over flogged. Love comes with vulnerability. The babe said she hasn’t been in love for 10 years; probably had her heart broken and resorted to using men for the money hence the emphasis on mumu button. This love thing is probably scary and she’s trying to fit in.

      I feel she shouldn’t have slept with him too early. Poster, take your time and be patient. You sound like someone who is honest and real despite your insecurities. That guy sounds like a practical man hence he has seen through you. He’ll probably be making up his mind on the step to take. If he comes back, let him love you his own way, you sound like a runs girl sha cos those babes rate a man’s love based on how much he gives them.

      That guy liked you a lot at the beginning, you were honest and transactional and you might have lost him but look on the bright side, if he comes back, he knows who you are and will be ready to build you into the woman you can become. For your sake, I hope he comes back. Sounds like he likes you for real and wanted to be honest.

      BN people, go easy on her Biko, she’s a vulnerable babe that needs our advice.

  23. Nonye

    June 11, 2017 at 9:41 pm

    Reads like Nkem’s poorly made up stories. I wrinkled my brows reading this.

    • Alterego

      June 11, 2017 at 11:44 pm

      I wrinkled my brows reading this.
      I love the image it portrays in my mind. I can imagine it as a dialogue from a Victorian novel.
      It conjures tea, fruit cake, a proper Victorian drawing room, a room warm because of the blazing fireplace. A woman, tall and stately, wrapper up in shawls entered the room, holding a letter in her hand. The paper crackled as she opened it: Dear Emma…..
      Her lips moved with the words, as she read, her brow wrinkling as she absorbed that after all James did love her. He was coming home.

      I digress.
      I wonder BN decided to post this. I mean, it reeks of an aching juvenile naivete. Babe is sooo clueless. No grown woman should even think this way. Don’t know if the story is even altogether untrue.

    • Alterego

      June 12, 2017 at 12:02 am

      Wrapped up in shawls.

  24. IOU

    June 11, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    Not only will you not be having his ” mumu button ” you will not be having him coz he’ll probably be ditching your ass tonight! Jeez!!!

  25. IOU

    June 11, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    Ajala & foodie : gifted is American English

  26. Mrs chidukane

    June 11, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    Hahahahshshahahahaha!

  27. Patty

    June 11, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    Girl, you’re going to chase this man away. First of all it is no his reponsibility to give you money for a new phone, is he your father? It’s probably because you’re used to men giving you everything you request for and now you’ve brought all those expectations into this new brewing relationship. I understand the fact that you wanted him to watch alakada with you but wait a minute he was also willing to wait outside for you to watch movie and also pay for the ticket.
    He doesn’t have to say I miss you hundred times and saying it once honestly means more that hundred fake I ‘miss you’.
    Please don’t send him packing with all these superficial demands.

  28. yess

    June 11, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    Babe you have a typical Nigerian university girl mentality. Drop it n grow up

  29. hadiza

    June 11, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    what a pathetic being. Women like you make me sick. Is he your ATM?? what nonsense. ?? Go get yourself a healthy dose of self respect.

  30. Deleke

    June 12, 2017 at 12:04 am

    He got in them draws that easy? On the first date? Girl you got issues.

  31. Fleur

    June 12, 2017 at 5:41 am

    Yawn

  32. Mz smiles

    June 12, 2017 at 11:30 am

    There goes Mr Egghead..
    Where have you been BTW?
    @Poster, I hope you’ve been able to make a choice from the numerous advices therein.
    Wishing you the very best.??

  33. Deleke

    June 12, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    Inquiring minds wanna know why the Real Nigerian hasn’t commented on this article. I was waiting to read her comments and blow her big big grammar. I sometimes think she is the toned down alter-ego of Hon Patrick Obahiagbon

  34. MRS NO NONSENSE

    June 12, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    Madam please work on yourself. if you want the phone get it yourself. He is not your BANK. If you dont drive to his house, he will find someone else to do so. You are very REPLACABLE

  35. Letstalkonline.net

    June 12, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    Entitled much?? This writer doesn’t sound mature enough to even be thinking of a relationship. It really bothers me that some women actually have this level of entitlement. I mean this man is not your parent and I am very sure if you the guy was to say the same thing you would give the same answer.

  36. New Girl

    June 12, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Sounds like something I’d read on joros page before I unfollowed. Just being careful what I feed my mind. It’s a pity a lot of girls have this mentality, and I don’t blame them because some Nigerian guys think the best way to a girls heart is by buying her material things, so the girls grow up with this mentality. Madam poster please grow up, and buy yourself iPhone 7 or look for an alhaji that can do it for you or aristo whatever they are called these days.

  37. New Girl

    June 12, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Also looking forward to Johns comment where are you John?

  38. Ceebaby

    November 7, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    Lol…This has got to be a joke! So you want iphone7 but you expected him to offer to buy it for you? I laugh in Spanish jejeje. Baby girl better carry your money and go buy your phone, and do small brain shift while you’re at it. Oshisko international limited.

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