Grace Efezokhae: 3 Topics I Hate to Argue About

I had wanted to become an international lawyer at some point in my life because my then childish mind, thought it would involve a lot of travelling which I love. I can bet that I wouldn’t have made it to study law after all as I avoid arguments by all means. I can’t stand it when people argue over football clubs, actresses, musicians or the like. I just think that the energy used could be exerted on other things. Over the years, I have watched people even argue over deeper things but I still avoid arguments like crazy.

The three things in life I hate to argue about are religion, race and sexual issues. I’d rather expend that energy in jogging in the Sahara desert.

Religion
I believe in the existence of God. As a practicing Christian, there are so many questionable acts I see in the church today that can make one weak for ages. There are also diverse denominations that question one’s faith. There are several other religions that exist with varied beliefs. I just can’t stand any argument where one person argues that his religion is better or superior to the other. What we believe may divide us but in whom we believe should unite us. Inasmuch as I will be glad if everybody believes in my faith, I try to be accommodating by listening to people’s beliefs and the reason they believe so. I met a guy this week who told me of his religion (Kemeticism). I had never heard of it before then. I developed keen interest by asking lots of questions and he took his precious time to answer all. You never know what you can learn from another person. There are still the atheists and agnostics who have their best reasons known to themselves. Nobody is right or wrong and opening ourselves up to learn from others on their thoughts and beliefs is liberating. Just imagine if we all tolerated each other’s religious beliefs, I can bet that half of the world’s problems would have been solved.

Race
I was once on a civil rights tour to Atlanta and Alabama with a group of students where we visited the popular Selma Bridge amongst other places. Most of the discussions we had during the road trip bothered on racism. I just tried as much as possible to always sit at the back of the bus to avoid anyone asking what my opinions were. An African American girl even cried while narrating her racism experiences growing up. As the only black person in my class last semester, I experienced my own share of racism from three different course mates. I happily ignored them because I ain’t got no time to baby-sit some grown adults’ ignorance in the 21st century. Racism has come to stay and I bet it will ever just slide away completely. There’s no point arguing with a racist why racism is of no good. Ignorance is not a point of view and should at best be ignored. My own opinion is just that if anyone on earth at this point in history still thinks people should be treated differently because of the color of their skin, he/she should be left to dwell in his/her insensibility.

Sexual Issues
The way people argue about sexual issues ranging from having sex before or after marriage and whether oral sex is acceptable to couples or not is amazing. I personally agree to no sex before marriage as I strongly believe that it makes breaking up and moving on even better. It doesn’t however mean I’m a saint. It doesn’t mean I won’t have done some background check on whether his ‘key can turn on my engine’. I have heard enough daunting stories of newly wed couples that were strangely surprised by their partners after the wedding. Stories of men who were impotent, the man without a ‘third leg’ or the man who has no sexual pleasures at all. It still baffles me how someone will be arguing on the issue on oral sex being right for married couples. For goodness sake, they are both married, they can do whatever they like with their bodies without guilt. For other sexual issues such as the threesomes, group sex, transgenderism and gayism, I’m still struggling to understand their choices but it doesn’t mean I will now think I am superior or better than them.

Anyway, we don’t always have to agree with one another but we can always learn to tolerate our differences. Above all, respect each other’s differences no matter how alien they may be to yours. You never know how much you can learn from anyone when you listen to their point of view without trying to prove yours is better.

As the saying goes, knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.

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