Being The Other Man – The Confessions of a Splackavellie

You know there comes a period in every woman’s life when she gets frustrated or fed up with her man and all his silly hang ups.
You know a woman wants a man where she don’t have to have no drama behind it. You know just somebody who can love her down with no strings attached and his name is “Splackavellie
“.

How many of you remember this song by Pressha from way back 1998? “Splackavellie” was also on the soundtrack of the movie The Players Club starring Ice Cube, Jamie Foxx, Bernie Mac and LisaRaye.

OK, enough of the trivia, what do you think about that song? Far fetched, inappropriate and naughty? Well some of us…well, yours truly, had the (dis) pleasure of being that other man, that Splackavellie and believe me most times it was not by choice! My first role as The Other Man came upon me quite by accident. I say it was by accident because I did not set out to play that role, it just kind of happened.

I was in my third year in the university and had not too long ago broken up a three year relationship with the “love of my life”. Quite frankly I was a very unhappy person for a while. However, my sadness gave way to a sort of cynical acceptance of the fact that love was not all it was made out to be; and that when a woman makes up her mind to leave you, she will, whatever the reason, from the mundane to the serious. Well, she had left me for another guy given the fact that it was a long distance relationship blah blah blah! So you get the back story, right? So it so happened that I was totally off girls to the extent of not picking up the “bananas” that were thrown my way, if you know what I mean. But then my roommate had a birthday party and at the party was a girl that I had known for a while as in we had been to the same primary school but we were not really close. So we sort of hooked up at the party since I was a familiar face. We talked, danced a bit and at the end she promised to come see me sometime. Sometime proved to be the following weekend and as we chatted about old times and mutual friends, one thing led to another and suddenly we were making out. At this point I guess I was just going through the motions really. Then she stopped in the middle of things, looked me in the eyes and said, “I have something to tell you.” I looked at her not knowing what to expect and I encouraged her to speak. “I have a boyfriend”, she said not looking at me in the eyes anymore. Then I said, “Ooookay?” and when she realised that I was not going to say anything else that was it. When she left I thought about what happened and I discovered that I did not really have any hang-ups about making out with someone else’s girlfriend. I guess I had become so cynical that it seemed like some sort of justice was being served; after all someone else had made out with my girlfriend and stole her away! #%$&@!! Sorry, where was I? Ehen, but the thing is the girl kept coming back for more! And then it became a routine that whenever she had problems with her boyfriend she would come complain or cry to me and then we would end up together. And did I complain? Well, no. But one day I had to ask her why she kept on coming back to me. She just shrugged and said that being with me was a lot less complicated than being with him and that besides that I was better. Better? Hmm!

I will admit that I played the role of being her other man for quite a while up until she went abroad. Yes, a few times she toyed with the idea of breaking up with him and hooking up with me in more formal terms but I never encouraged her. You might scream ‘awoof!’ but the truth is I was still in a very dark place emotionally and was not ready to commit to anyone.

I had suddenly discovered that a number of women were actually dissatisfied in their relationships. I then pledged to be that man who would show them the more satisfying side of things. I became a sort of Jacopo Casanova, the ideal lover. And so the show began. I being the guy with nothing to lose by being a friend to these unavailable women, offering a listening ear, a shoulder to lean and sometimes cry on, offering excellent relationship, academic as well as other advice, spending quality time and generally treating them like queens all without the tag of ‘boyfriend’. The ladies would generally pour out their hearts and I would try to troubleshoot for them. Some would compare me to their boyfriends and would actually talk about them, while some would never say a word about their guys. These affairs varied in duration from short one-night stands to twelve-month on-and-off relations. Yes, there were some moral dilemmas but since it was mostly physical attraction sprung out of the foundation of emotional cheating things never got insoluble for I was a good friend with benefits. I was Splackavellie!! Besides, I thought I was rendering some kind of service because believe it or not these relationships improved for the better especially when they got me out of their systems.

However, sometimes things got real heavy.

In my final semester there was a girl I met when walking to my room one night. I stepped up to her and we got talking. I hadn’t said ten words when she expressly told me that she had a boyfriend. I looked at her and laughed and said, “I would be greatly disappointed if a beautiful girl like you did not have one!” She was surprised by my comeback and we continued chatting. She gave me her digits and I went to see her a couple of times at her hostel and all. We did dinner a couple of times and we actually began to hang out regularly. Then she told me she was actually engaged to a much older guy but that she liked me as I had shown her another side to romance. I continued to woo her out of curiosity really, besides vows had not yet been exchanged. Eventually she did crack and boy when it happened it was out of this world! Not to be overly graphic but it appeared that her boyfriend was a lousy lover who did not allow her properly express herself; indeed I opened her eyes to more interesting aspects of the art. Then things got real tricky when she snapped and tried to break off her engagement, declaring her love for me! The reality of what I had done hit me and I put myself in the dude’s shoes. Karma was coming right back as I was now the ‘relationship breaker’. This was not my intention because for all I knew the guy genuinely loved her; so what if he was a lousy lover?! I had to sit her down and talk to her and explain to her that she could not really throw away a four year relationship that was to all intents and purposes heading to the altar for a guy she just met a couple of months ago! She cried a lot and said I had broken her heart. I still feel bad for messing with her because she ended up not marrying the guy. We are still friends and she still insists that I had opened her eyes to a whole lot of things and she was happier for it.

During my NYSC, at the orientation camp I tried so hard to be above board and not give into the practices associated with the camps. By fluctuating between being very serious and being aloof I had hoped to show a general uninterestedness in women and keep them at bay. I had a high degree of initial success just being friends with some girls who I think would have been okay with being much more. But towards the end in the last week specifically I was blind-sided by this gorgeous girl (let’s call her Nneka). Nneka walked up to me and engaged my help in announcing that her phone was lost (I was a member of the OBS you see). I did and the phone was found. We became “hi friends”. Endurance trek came and I found myself walking with her, in fact we spent the whole trek together. I recall that one of the first things Nneka said was that she had a boyfriend and was getting married in a few months. Well, I wasn’t looking so I congratulated her and once we established the fact that I stood no chance we relaxed and talked and talked. Afterwards Nneka made it a point to come check on me at the OBS station. Then we started hanging out. I did find her very attractive. I got a few ugly stares from her close friends in the camp with one even asking me pointedly whether I was aware she was getting married! I shrugged and said yes that she told me already. We took long walks and talked and talked. We did kiss a few times and I still remember the way her lips felt. I was tripping. I did attend her wedding two months later and it was a beautiful one! My guys made good natured fun of me that my camp girlfriend was getting married. I laughed it off but deep down I felt sad and alone. As I looked as the beautiful couple it dawned on me that she had used on me the same tactics that I had used on other women!

In a way, my experience as The Other Man was therapeutic for me. I realised that my previously eroded self confidence had sprung back to nourished life over that period. I learnt that despite my many shortcomings I could easily take the average woman from her man; and that if I tried, I could actually be in a great relationship where I could be a better partner and lover with all my emotions fully engaged. I learnt my lessons, had some fun and moved on from that period in my life.

Now before you go pointing fingers at me as some BN readers are prone to do, think about it: let’s all be brutally honest, nearly all relationships start this way where The Other Man eventually becomes The Man! Feel me?

So the question remains: Does every woman need her own Splackavellie,
a brother she can call when her man ain’t doing her right?

You tell me.

Picture courtesy:  www.howtogeturexback.com/lovecentre

59 Comments on Being The Other Man – The Confessions of a Splackavellie
  • Tew mad June 18, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    OMG THIS WAS MY JOINTTTT BACK IN UNI BRISTOL DAYZ…. TRUST ME MOST WOMEN HAVE THEIR OWN SPLACKAVELLIE!! I SURE DID. lol but some splackavelli’s can be emotional splackavellie’s. Aint just all about sex but if you dont tread cautiously we will fallll as hard as you did Bobo and incase u didnt know plp get killed for ish like that. hahahaha Glad Olodumare spared ur life.

  • brooks June 18, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    yipee.1st to commet again.nice write up.

  • Genevieve June 18, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    well, if my man aint doing me right, i think i’ll either make him improve or just quit. Except of course, if ther are other aspects of the relatioship am interested in, then getting a splackavellie might just be an option.

  • ink June 18, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    gosh i lovd the article. very tongue in cheek… and hey, i thot i was the only one who remembered that song! hahaha!!!

  • Moi June 18, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    I absolutely love this article! It is so so so so so so so so so real! And refreshing! People jus dont like hearing the truth jare! I think what women reli want is for her man to be that other man! the one who can switch from routine and become the smooth, suave, mysterious, fun, uncomplicated dude with no rules. maybe the 21st century woman too is tired of boring drama… I hav had a taste of the other man, myself and well, the man and I ended up not heading for the altar cause I had fallen for the other man too, and he wasnt ready for what i wanted. But I am also glad for the experience cos it “opened” my eyes to a lot of things I shld be wanting too!

    To ans d ques, I want my man to do right, most of the time, I dont want the other man, I want my man to know how to be the other man. Speaking for myself alone anywayz!

  • Tess June 18, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    I must confess, I have a ”splackavellie” right now.
    My guy is in Lagos and hey! i am here so y not?
    Its really less tasking.

  • ~~~~ne June 18, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Mine was the opposite , i was the other girl and i did not encourage him to break up with
    the other gal, rite now, i’m glad i did not encourage him.

  • Abrothashecancall June 18, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    You know the splackavellie can become the main man but the other woman never becomes the main one. Women eh, we should learn to play the game like *Nneka. Lol seriously, every woman does not need a splackavellie (the song won’t get out of my head now…”He can work it all night, until the morning light, make her feel right right right” lol). Good post Mr TJ. Women are more forgiving when their man slips up but ladies, your man will not forgive you when he finds out about your splackavellie o (Double standard nonsense)

  • P.E.T June 18, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    I think whether or not we plan it, we all have a splackavellie at some point – from ur high school seatmate to ur undergrad bestfriend to the guy who helped out wit ur thesis. at the end of the day many of us would fing our soulmate this way, it therefore depends on the parties involved. afterall, it takes 2 to tando!

  • bcgeorge June 18, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    very intresting piece for me cos iv been on dat lane too severally,it kinda make you tink ur gurl is doing d same cheating tin but hey….dats jst d intriguin aspect of all these love bullshit…….i gez two can alwys play the game

  • bcgeorge June 18, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    issues of men and women…..no one cn actually explain it…wot a man cn do,a woman cn sumtyms do better….but i tink women are sumtyms vry irrational..alwys wantin d best outta evry situation.

  • chilipalmer June 18, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    I continued to woo her out of curiosity really
    ——————————
    “woo her?”

    Do people still use the word “woo”. lol

    But seriously, welcome to what happens everyday in Lagos. Most girls have 2 or more boyfriends, or a seriou/steady one, and a couple of other chaps on the side.
    If i had a penny for how many times i had made out with girls that had boyfriends, i would be a billionaire.
    i have a friend called Jaz, that was having a fling with one really sassy girl. The girl had a boyfriend who was planning to marry her. Jaz knew, so he would just show up at the girl’s place in uni, which was a hall, and call/text/flash/bb her. The girl would come downstairs, and they would drive some where and she ll give him fellatio in the car. One day, Jaz asked her why she was cheating, and she said her reason was that her boyfriend “couldnt control her” and that Jaz was a “proper bloke”. She did say that she liked her boyfriend for the way he treated and doted after her so she would never leave him.

    Thats just one story off chapters of the chronicles of dating in Lagostown, Nigeria.

    Cheers.

    Regards,

    Jaz

  • Molicious June 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Hahahaha, love it! I had a Splackavellie, left the main man for him and we dated for 3 years but then he became Splackavellie to other babes…. you know what they say about karma ;) Nice write up though

  • Swtheart June 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    very true….

  • available June 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    hey, since u realised u re now interested in making a relationship work and i am single and searching, why not hook up wit me ?

  • available June 18, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    very true story. but hey since u re single and claim to be a good lover why not put ur skills to text by hooking up wit me (single).

  • Kloi June 18, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    Story of my life.. Splackavellie ..seem to always attract the committed ones :(

  • besh June 18, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    Nice one fellow Splackavellie…I think the more Nigerian Term is Assistant Boyfriend. I’m currently an assistant bf and it was fun when I was in University but now it feels foolish. Does every girl needs an assistant boyfriend yes, but she better not be my girlfriend cos once I know that the end of it.

  • Aisha June 18, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    He aint your boyfriend
    He aint your husband
    Just somebody you can call when your body needs a fix
    He’ll put you in the mix
    Then you’ll hear me screaming what’s my name?
    Say my name splackavellie!

    Every woman needs her own splackavellie
    A brother she can call when her man aint doing her right
    He can work it all night
    Until the morning light
    Make her feel right, right!

    :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

  • mimi June 18, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    lol…very interesting article….it could be therapeutic but then again Karma is a b***h! so ill say No to answer your question

  • Ms. Sassy eyes June 18, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Agbaya

  • mariaah June 19, 2010 at 12:27 am

    omd one of the best articles i have read in a while…
    back to Does every woman need her own Splackavellie,
    a brother she can call when her man ain’t doing her right?…nah matey, she doesn’t forget distance n all that.if eeh dey do u go scratch am for wall or better still break it off first..
    SAY NO TO SPLACKAVELLIE/BOOTY CALL/OTHER MAN OR WOMAN!!!!SPREAD D WORD….

  • saywot? June 19, 2010 at 12:58 am

    abeg preach it jare…. sometyms we all need dat.. ” the other man or woman”….

  • Petit' June 19, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    lol @ Ms. Sassy!

  • Dot Dot Dot June 19, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    I love this article……
    first…its not just about the other guy, but the guys two people who are already in a relationship.
    You can’t really blame a lady/woman/girl for getting her own ‘Splackavellie’. Some guys are just never there when you need them…and if you end up feeling lonely…you end up calling or seeing someone who’s ready to listen, hug you, kiss you or even make you feel comfortable. The ‘Splackavellie’ guys are always there to listen and stuff like that. *sighs*
    If boyfriend’s/husbands/partners could just be more….ummm *I can’t think of the word*. Ummm if they could just be there when you need them then we wouldn’t have ‘Splackavellie’s’.

  • Jack June 19, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    You make me wanna leave the one I’m with….. – Usher Raymond

  • Karimah June 19, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    great article…. have my own version of splackavellie who wants to be d main man esp now have broken up wit my boo…. just always laffs wen he makes such comments cuz i know it aint gonna happen… don’t think any woman should have a splackaveille or any man either (the other man/woman)… though somehow, we always end up being one…

  • Omada June 19, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    serious agbaya! lol…
    but T.J i hope you won’t mind if ur babe has her own Spacklavellie.. ;)
    but on a more serious note, i don’t think everywoman needs one, but this is my own humble opinion…

  • Tosin June 19, 2010 at 11:34 pm

    yup o, 7 years ago i met hubby and he was Splackavellie
    (who knows i probably was for him too)

    We lived in 2 diff continents – talked talked and then fell in love.
    Got married 3 years ago – its all good.

    wat will b will be

  • Peperempe June 20, 2010 at 8:05 am

    That was my song back then.

    If na babe write about being the other woman, the insults for don plenty for this page now. Double standards toh bad.

  • bubu June 20, 2010 at 8:45 am

    As Samantha in SATC would say ‘U do not date ur Fuck Buddy’ wat wer dis ladies tinkn? isshhh d fun in all dis is variety being d spice of life& not gettn caught…

  • Kay June 20, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    lol @bubu…

    well my opinion is u dont need a splackavellie to see ur relationship for wat it is…if u’re tired den just get the hell out n den u can do wat u please n if dat includes adventures wit splackavellies… so be it…

    don’t dish out wat u can’t or won’t like to handle…its a simple policy, but works wonders!

    cheers!

  • WaleAdeniji June 20, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    @ Peperenpe: Thank you very much. If the writer of this piece were to be a woman who took up the position of “the other woman” oh my God! Ladies would have cursed her here that she would for ever regret been born realising that the main woman could be one of them. Women with double standard sha! Now they’re not seeing anything wrong in taking up a splackavellie when they think their men are not doing it right. If they see nothing wrong in this, i think there shouldn’t be anything wrong in a man having the other woman too when the woman seems not to be doing it right. Please o, this is just my opinion which i think i have a right to express. I guess this will not attract eebu (insults) from people sha? Nice write-up TJ O’karo.

  • peezzed June 20, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    I can’t even believe I just read this article. I’m very disappointed.

    Sha, Maybe your future wife will find her own splackavellie ‘an eye for an eye style.’

    Make out with someone before her wedding? Very Trashy! May God keep people like you away from me.

    Some chic tried to pull this stunt with my BF (who’s her BF’s friend). Even asked him on a date.

    People and their double standards: we’re commending this crap cuz its a guy if a woman wrote this, she’s an ashawo.

    Then Tiger Woods actions were definitely justified. No wonder our generation is already havingBAD MARRIAGES unlike ‘most’ of our grandparents.

    NONSENSE!!!!

  • oju June 20, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    CRAPPY ARTICLE!!!!HATED IT!!!! TOO SLEEZY FOR MY LIKING!!! Ladies if u want to leave ur man just DUMP him instead of cheat on him cuz u wnt like to b in his shoes…would u???

  • uninhibited June 20, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    i av serious moral hang ups about issues pertaining to infidelity,i think to my credit,i stop being vocal about some issues when i know i av contravened the law,its my way of not being deceptive,however,i cant cast the 1st stone or the 3nd or 3rd either,i’ve been dere,it felt so good(stil does) so uch it hurts, i feel the guilt, i let the pangs tear at me, i also feel i could av done better but i’ve come off with one lesson,until you’ve been in those very shoes,never judge,i also can say with benefit of hindsight that life is not black and white,but with shades of grey,that if life was just a switch,we’ll simply switch on or off,be good or bad,but really before my sermon gets boring,the song that comes to mind is ‘when the wrong one loves u right’.i secretly wish i get to hear that my better half was at one time or the other involved with som1 else,ayb ,just mayb it would assuage d guilt.and to the fellow holy crew,wish u luck in yr uppityness,if dere’s a word like thatop u never become splacklavelie,so long………..

  • Omada June 21, 2010 at 12:00 am

    Wale Adeniji is correct!!!

  • Omada June 21, 2010 at 12:06 am

    and to all the women with splackavellies, hope u’ll 4give your man if you find out that he has a female splackavellie… cos wat’s good for the gander is good for the goose…
    like someone rightly said, if a woman had written about being the other woman… hmmm… she’ll be torn to pieces!

  • lola June 21, 2010 at 7:56 am

    Well let’s just say it’s really cool for a while and next thing you know he hooks up with somebody else and starts to tell you aint the same status with his new girlfriend

  • qbee June 21, 2010 at 9:21 am

    I’ve been in this sitch for a while now. Have had a splackavellie on and off for three years now. We been together thru two relationships. We should hook up cos we both have feelings for each other but the ‘trust’ thing is now an issue for us cos he’s seen me at my worst as I have his. But it’s kinda hard, oon my part, to get him out of my system. What do I do?

  • Bella Duchess June 21, 2010 at 10:37 am

    LOL @ The Other Man eventually becomes The Man! Feel me? EVERY PERSON IS TAKEN
    FROM ANOTHER PERSON. WORD!!

  • omotoke June 21, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    women are too emotional. splackavellie are only around for a while so its very dangerous to play dat kinda game. wat if u fall for d splackavellie and he ditches u, wat then? but i understand sha, sometimes, its needed. lol

  • Eno June 21, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Lol @ the article & the comments. Too funny
    Ah! the tricky, murky waters of dating & relationships.
    To each, his own.
    However, prepare your mind for the backlash: It will surely come

  • snizzy June 22, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    In other words you are justifying your evil deeds by saying or suggesting that every woman needs a spackabellie….hmmm….A “brother” to call on…broda ko,broda ni…thank God you anticipated criticism from the few of us who wont hear of such nonsense…So what if a girl broke your heart?…ALL GIRLS ARE NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!!

    Just like someone said….may someone spackavellie your wife so that it will hurt you and you will realise that no woman needs a stupid spackavellie like you in their lives….

    He who encourages immorality will eventually become a victim of immorality in the end.

    Oshe o…S-p-a-c-k-a-v-el-l-i-e mstchewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Turayo June 23, 2010 at 2:19 am

    I am also in the same dilemma, but hey dude has a GF in naij and he stays in yankee, but i am trying my possible best not to fall for him. He shows me the attention i want and i love it. If only GF knew what her man was doing and I would not let him break up with GF…. Lets just play role games here. Works best that way

  • peezzed June 23, 2010 at 3:19 am

    Snizzy, thanks! Karma is an ugly dog… Tomorrow ppl will complain of broken hearts

    I’m off to pray for myself!

  • Deedee June 23, 2010 at 3:48 am

    Haha! Well written article. Hats off!
    My comments: #42 (omotoke) is dull for their 1st sentence
    Ok *clears throat*
    1. double standards. Wow. If a woman wrote this, the backlash would be
    horrific. Names, prayers and curses. Smh
    2. While this is a fun article, it belittles the issue of infidelity & cheating.
    Splackavellie might be fun on bellanaija but it’s
    painful in real life. TJ O’karo forgot to tell some already-excited fools that.

  • sparkle June 23, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    well yeah! most women do nid a spackavellie! I personally have had one, but to the writer, u r an egoistic,self proclaimed spackavellie’ i’m so sure the story is exaggerated… Call me a feminist but gurls, guys that talk in this manner should be shunned (It is usually just “all-talk,no action”). These breed of guy are ever-so egocentric and insecure individuals who need women prowling around them to make them look and feel manly . If i knew you during the era of these writings you so brag about, i would have changed your story into shock and disbelief. lastly, please hun. DO GET A LIFE, there’s more to life than sex and manipulative games. Channel yor anger and sadness into sumthing more rewarding.I did the same ,now i’m reaping the rewards. Remember there is “More to life”

  • snizzy June 23, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    You’re welcome Peezed….please pray for me too…lol

  • sisy June 23, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    interesting topic……….i pulsed for a moment……splackavellie fun but
    dangerous, don’t advise anybody to go through that adventure cause
    it opens your eyes wide that you now start hating your man.
    i have been there and right now the effect is still on me,,,,,am so confused
    if actually i should marry my man(6mnths time) cause i have tasted the waters and believe me
    it was sweeter and they ended cause my man wont let me go and i wont let him
    too.
    on a nut shell a splackavellie brings wild ideas into your head that can held you
    for your rock…
    ladies be wise

  • linda June 23, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    loved this article…for once someone is being honest!!

  • Biblo June 24, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Nice topic…but embellished.

  • LeighJoy June 29, 2010 at 3:05 am

    well THIS made me laugh out LOUD! it made my day!

  • pweery July 1, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    In the end,if sparkavelli becomes main,u stil get to want anoda sparkavelli….bottom line “there is always someone else with the extra touch we want “…

  • mouthpieceforchicks July 13, 2010 at 12:45 am

    is it me or it’s just inappropriate to end up married to a girl after having been the other man for years? don’t you think she’ll have a fling with other guys while she’s with you as well?

  • sexychic July 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Shit happens, every or most gals must av had, has or is ****ing a splackavellie ryt nw. Advice 2 gals: it kinda destroys relationships, makin ur attention , affection shift 4m ur hubby 2 d oda guy. But shit happens, I’ve had 1 n I enjoyd it while it lasted. I’m in a serious relatnship ryt nw n I’m neva doin da shit again…..

    • Omo Ragos April 19, 2013 at 2:00 pm

      I agree but in my case am glad cuz it destroyed a relationship i shouldn’t have been in at all…so am grateful for the whole experience and am with someone that i feel at peace with now and i have absolutely no need for Mr splackaville :)

  • ronnke July 30, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    it may seem off the issue and im not bein pious but what really is the advantage to pre-marital sex? it seems to be the root cause of all wrongs.
    in this case, the only way a woman or a man for that matter, knows that his/her partner isnt satisfactory is bcos you have tried others…
    i mean, if its your first, you dont have no1 to compare with, right?
    ok, case scenerio:

    my guy is insensitive, inattentive blah blah…it sucks rite? but if my splackvellie was just meeting my emotional needs without the sex thingy, isnt it easier for my guy to forgive or understand if he finds out?
    i mean, guys, isnt it the sex cheating that really ticks u off?

    besides ive realised that without sex , no person is toooo impossible to leave…the attachment is just not tooooooo binding, the heartache not tooooooo deep, no matter the love u feel for the person…splackvellie or not

    sex or physical romance is just toooo addictive, it takes a lot more to break it off than start it
    Believe me….seen the movie ‘unfaithful’?

  • omo-yankee March 25, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    This is how HIV/AIDS is goes around!!

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