Aunty Bella: Mrs. He Had Another Family

Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice as well.

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Dear Bella,
This is a story of a friend who’s very dear to me and urgently need your advice on what to do.

Her story is a very mixed story and she doesn’t think anybody is worthy to be trusted on earth. This is because of what her husband did to her and she’s thinking if she can ever forgive him or trust anyone again. She was married to her husband for 18 years and it was a very blissful marriage till he sadly passed on about five months ago. She has two daughters for him 17 years and 15 years and the first one is in the university presently. The issue is that she never knew her husband has a set of twin boys until she got to the village for his burial. She was shocked when her husband’s family called her for a meeting and brought the children and their mother. They are 20 years old and their mother though married to another man is from her husband’s village. She was so distraught and couldn’t wait for the whole ceremony to be over and returned to Lagos.

The issue is that she’s so disappointed that she knew a man for about 20 years, married to him for 18 years+, had two beautiful teenage daughters for him and still did not know he had a set of 20 year old twins. Can men be trusted? she asked looking deep into my eyes knowing I was a man and might not even tell her the truth.

Now her husband did not write a will and she got a message from her in-laws that one of the two houses that she built together with her husband will be given to the other children as they are also her husband’s blood. The truth is that her own financial contributions in the two houses they have is far more than her husband’s contribution and here they are telling her it’s the tradition. She told me that she has documents to prove her claims but she’s really disappointed and cannot even seem to reason clearly now as to the next step.

Thanks a bunch, hoping to hear from you soon.
L**

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Oscar Williams