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BN Self – Examine Sundays: Say Goodbye to the Old and let the NEW Move In

Lydia Otubanjo



BN-Self-Examine-Sundays_Change_diabanjo_July_2016_BellaNaija_-Hi BellaNaijarians – Happy Sunday!

I am back with the sixth edition of BN Self-Examine Sundays and I believe this week is little more serious than previous weeks, because I have finally decided to touch upon a current process in my life and although I have not completed the journey, I hope you can take away something meaningful to help you grow.

Change is hard, doing something new is difficult and it can take a while to adjust to. However, in life if you seek growth you must experience a form of change. It is important to emphasis that the change I am referring to is one that exudes positivity.

Every new age, job, experience requires change, as it is noted as the only constant thing we endure in life.

“Don’t resist the change, let the new move in!”

Sometimes it is best to let go of the things you are used to and try something new to add a little spice to your life and also help your mind mature with more wisdom. Experiences really define us as individuals, they tend to reveal strengths you knew nothing about and also prepare you for the inevitable hard realities of life.

I moved to Nigeria two years ago, I was born and raised in London and spent over two decades in the western part of the world before I opted for a change after completing my degree. I have been through so much in this country we all call “home”, from NYSC wahala to accommodation palava in Lagos and much more and “Yes! I have not adapted 100% and that’s okay”.

I took the first leap of faith by welcoming the change by moving, it was hard to leave my immediate family, friends and the culture I knew best behind, but I had to accept that although the change won’t be easy it will make me a better person and that was the second step of my journey to “creating a life out of life itself” and now I am currently going through the third stage which is allowing yourself to be changed – I think this part is the most exhausting!

Some call me crazy others think I was never sane but I believe that if you hide out in your comfort zone your whole life, nothing great will grow. I have had to adjust to this change mentally, physically and socially. I also analyze myself every six months to identify whether or not I have learned or become something different.

Embracing change creates bigger, better and brighter things for your future, I am not saying I have not had times when I hear a little voice in my head telling me to give up, move back or be mediocre because being unique is tougher than I thought. I also feel you can be overwhelmed by change if too much is happening at once. Though I have noticed over the years that I am always a few steps away from something amazing whenever these thoughts come into my head.

Today I would like to upligt your morale by telling you to create a change, change for the better, change to grow and change to explore the world outside of your comfort zone. If nothing good happens at the start, it will end beautifully I can assure you of that.

“What do you need to change?

Happy endings require work – so just do it !

It is hard, but a lot of what I have mentioned in previous editions – click here, will help you start this day to day journey to becoming a new and improved you. If anyone told me I would be living, working and enjoying 80% of my stay here in Lagos, Nigeria I would laugh and call them a confused person. But God who has brought me here and taken you to where you are currently can only sail us off to a greater destination.

“I don’t crave perfection. Perfection sees no growth and growth knows no change.” – diabanjo

Diabanjo is a member of the BellaNaija Weddings Team. She obtained a Bachelors degree in English from Coventry University and is an unpublished short story writer, distinctly known for her unique metaphors with a drop of self-indulgence. She is a passionate minimalist and particularly loves to read romance genre, with a mesmerizing interest in 21st century bridals. Visit to view her write-ups & feel free to send an email to [email protected] for weddings/bridal related inquiries. Be You!


  1. Cookie

    July 17, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    Not as easy as A B C.. Its all in the mind,if the war of mind can be fought and the battle won,then i think 70/80% of the work is done.. The rest is effort,action and hard work and consistency and perseverance..

    Besides getting a degree,working(whether the job is fulfilling or not), you hear “just start”.. Start what? 40,50,30 with Bsc,Msc whatever,i think a lot of people are lost…Live a purpose-driven life,how do you do that when some don’t even know their purpose…Passion is key,when some are still clueless,they just don’t know what their passion is…

  2. Wanderlust _Trekeffect?

    July 17, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    Nice write up
    I tend to over think before making a step, if I want to do something big I start planning and thinking and worrying about it years before I plan on doing it lol. In recent times I just breathe and tell myself ” what’s the worse that could happen girl”. I give myself a list of positive feelings and tell myself to pick one from the list, I pick one and walk in it. ?

  3. gbaskelebo

    July 17, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    That number 5… “overthinking” you cant help it sometimes!

  4. Cookie

    July 17, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    1 and 2 is not an issue for me,but 3,4,5 i find it really hard to quit.. Number 5 is my greatest problem, It’s one thing to over think before making a move,but eventually make the move(albeit after wasting time and energy over thinking)…It’s another thing to over think to the point where it cripples you from taking action..

    Think it,take a step/act on it,doesn’t matter if it’s a crawl,or a step or a run,as along as one has moved beyond thinking.. We also want to succeed almost immediately,and that i think makes us over think,because we dread failure and we want everything to be perfect. Learning to go at one’s pace,and appreciating every step we take,and progress we make(albeit small) is key.. Its okay to fail at it,or get it wrong for a while,as long as we keep at it and keep improving and working on our craft and ourselves. The change and growth we seek will occur. Believing in one’s self is also key

  5. E

    July 17, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    Thank you so much for this!

  6. Onetallgirl

    July 18, 2016 at 6:21 am

    Another great post Diabanjo! I just wish that God will show me what I need to change in my life so that life will be better and I will be happier! Diabanjo, How did you know that moving to Nigeria was the change you needed in life?

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