“Those of You who Go to Your Pastor to pray for You and Tell You Who to Marry…You Are Simply Lazy” – Pastor Enoch Adeboye of RCCG

Posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 11:32 PM

By Nolita


I’m a Christian but I’m also one of those people who believe that many Nigerians now practice a warped form of Christianity. There are so many egotistic pastors with millions of teeming fans. The issue of marriage is always a hot button topic even more so in church!

The other day, I was listening to Wazobia FM online and heard an ad for a church service/all night vigil taking place at the National Stadium tomorrow and the theme of the event is…”War against Marriage Delay“. Considering the venue is the National Stadium, can only imagine the number of people who will land to “fight” the war.

Back on topic, I’ve heard so many stories about women and men who break up their relationships or even engagements because their mother/father/aunty’s pastor said they should beware or that there was danger looming in the future of the relationship. On the other hand, I have a friend who upon the breakup of her marriage lamented that “her pastor warned her and she should have listened”…

On Monday, I spotted this posting on Pastor Enoch Adeboye, General Overseer of one of the largest churches in the world, the Redeemed Christian Church of God‘s Facebook Page. As of today, the topic had racked up over 11,000 comments and 13,000 Likes.

Those of you who go to your pastor to pray for you and tell you who to marry, if care is not taken, you will become a victim of lies. You are simply lazy. No pastor or prophet should tell you who to marry. They are to pray along with you, counsel and guide you using the Word of God. If you fail to pay the price to hear from God on that matter, you may be deceived. God can use your pastor or a genuine prophet of God to confirm what He had already told you. Many homes have been established on falsehood and that is why things are falling apart and the center can no longer hold. Some pastors are seriously into match-making. They have taken over from the Holy Spirit. Match-making remains God’s prerogative and He has not delegated it to any pastor.

Will be great to hear your thoughts on this!

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  • 72 Comments on ““Those of You who Go to Your Pastor to pray for You and Tell You Who to Marry…You Are Simply Lazy” – Pastor Enoch Adeboye of RCCG”

    Comments
    • dammylola_ August 23, 2012 at 11:35 PM

      well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Chattyzee August 24, 2012 at 12:18 AM

      I absolutely agree. Pst. Adeboye is right. Seek counsel and not direction from your Pastors. Direction comes from God.
      http://dprodigalchild.wordpress.com/

    • moi August 24, 2012 at 12:28 AM

      This is so true…well said sir.
      I used to attend rccg uk, my pastor is one of those young pastors…i stopped attending cos he tried to hook me up with a guy and I said no, that was the end of the discussion, I became an enemy, and a disobedient child ….looooool. I do not know the guy he wanted to hook me up with, the guy never approached me…like wht????
      This goes out to married friends that try to hook up their single friends also…we know u have our best interest at heart,….but pls, stop bringing guys that u know nothing about.

      • auntie August 24, 2012 at 1:16 AM

        halleluya! im not alone

    • @ajiriavae August 24, 2012 at 12:31 AM

      Let us remember, when we decide to hand over one of the greatest decisions of our life to someone else, that we are the ones who will be left to live with the consequenses of that decision. If you are not ready to go through the rigors of putting yourself in the right state to hear from God yourself, then I guess you deserve to be decieved. I’m just saying.
      http://ajiristyle.blogspot.com/

    • nikii August 24, 2012 at 12:42 AM

      @ moi.. wel said i totally i agree with you.. as stated bu the man of God “Match-making remains God’s prerogative and He has not delegated it to any pastor.” neither has he delegated it to any other person.

    • Moe August 24, 2012 at 1:25 AM

      I could not have said it better! This is a link I must send to a friend. The lies and deceit of some pastors have lead girls to loose their true loves and end up in loveless and unhappy unions. It is in the bible that he who FINDS a wife! Finds a good thing. Not he whose pastors finds him a wife. God gave us free will to choose, choose based on your moral values and the word of God and true love. God gave us the abilty to have emitions and feel love. Finnally, invite God into that relationship and you will be happy. This is my two cents! Cheers!

    • sweetie August 24, 2012 at 2:31 AM

      @ajiriavae well said!!!

    • gimmer August 24, 2012 at 2:51 AM

      while i agree withpastor adeboye, i also feel as daddy GO he needs to single-handedly audit and screen some of his so-called RCCG pastors too..i mean, tooo many scandals.

      • jcsgrl July 31, 2013 at 3:38 PM

        I agree and also think Pastors or MOG need to be honest with their congregation when they discover something they’ve been teaching us is not as truthful as they held it to be. It would have been nice if he acknowledged that the church and including him have propagated this teaching and now know better so others can learn because we look up to him.

    • Dammie August 24, 2012 at 3:37 AM

      God help us all o……I dint believe this @ 1st bt its obvious its d norm 4 some pple nw bt serzly y wld a grown up individual want a pastor or prophet 2 choose who they wld b spending d rest of their lives with?*Olorun Maje*………

    • Wowza August 24, 2012 at 3:47 AM

      I disagree with what he said to an extent. I do not see anything wrong with asking your pastor to pray for you in regards to getting married and locating your life partner. Some people have curses on their head and that is why they are unable to meet people. Now asking your pastor to be your matchmaker is different but there is nothing wrong in praying with a pastor over this issue of marriage.

      • just saying August 24, 2012 at 5:44 AM

        Did you read it upside down? Didn’t you see “they are to pray along with you, counsel, and guide you using the word of God”

        • Wowza August 24, 2012 at 7:08 PM

          No I did not, the rudeness is totally unnecessary.

        • Wowza August 24, 2012 at 7:23 PM

          Your rudeness is so uncalled for.

        • Pd August 25, 2012 at 12:14 PM

          Asin…..i no no 4 am oh….

      • Angelface August 24, 2012 at 9:31 AM

        Hello… Please go back and read the write up. I believe you scanned and thoroughly read.
        Because you just repeated what the GO of RCCG said. Duh !!!

        • Wowza August 24, 2012 at 7:25 PM

          If I “thoroughly read” then why the criticism? Typical Nigerian behavior, always attack even when unnecessary. SMH.

    • Sapphire013 August 24, 2012 at 4:29 AM

      I wish someone really close 2me will see dis…

      • may August 24, 2012 at 8:06 AM

        LOL……. HAD TO CHECK UR PIX TO SEE IF M NOT D CLOSE PERSON TO U DT HAD TO SEE THIS. I HOPE D PERSON DOES THGH!!! M SURE ITS DEFINITELY NOT R LOSS!!!

        • adelegirl August 24, 2012 at 2:46 PM

          It really irks me when people type in caps, yet cannot type correct grammar! It’s an assault to my senses I tell you. Sorry I was unable to magically close my eyes and skip your comment, once I came across it; the damage was already done and I was forced to read (sorry, attempt to read) it. What’s with the use of “M” instead of “I’M” or “I AM” and “R” instead of “YOUR” or even the slightly acceptable “UR” and “THGH” instead of THOUGH??? Come on! It’s not twitter you know, you have more than 140 characters. Just stop being lazy and write correct grammar!

          Now, to the original post, God bless Pastor Adeboye for calling it like it is. The decision of a life partner is a personal one, that YOU and no one else – not your parents, your pastor, “wooli” or prophet – has to live with. If only more people will get on their knees in the solitude of their homes, to seek God’s counsel for themselves about this all important decision… I once read a post that said the decision about whom to marry is the most important career decision of one’s life.

        • Kara Blake August 26, 2012 at 5:12 PM

          It seems like someone didn’t learn typing or social media etiquette in High School. You can’t just be typing in CAPS, it’s like screaming at someone to get your point across.

      • Audrey August 24, 2012 at 12:15 PM

        Go and like pastor Adeboye’s page. Share the status and say something catchy,the person will see it.

    • iamfascinating August 24, 2012 at 4:52 AM

      soo true. A pastor is not God.

      http://www.thestunninglady.blogspot.com

    • Nj August 24, 2012 at 5:49 AM

      I read this in his daily devotional, I believe it is called “Open Heavens”. I was like “wow”, right on point pastor Adeboye. This would help so many people not to fall prey.

    • Dobis August 24, 2012 at 6:32 AM

      Just saying please 4give Wowza. Some pple have a problem understanding wat they read.

      • Wowza August 24, 2012 at 7:16 PM

        Do not apologize on my behalf I did not ask you to and the fact that you may have issues understanding things does not mean that you should think others have the same problems so save the insults for yourself.

    • Purpleicious Babe August 24, 2012 at 6:44 AM
    • omon August 24, 2012 at 7:54 AM

      well said daddy go, here is my analysis of this supposed crusades tagged “war against marriage delay” if you invite over 1000 youth for a congress there is a very high chance that at least a 1oo persons will pair up even with out a single prayer so its solely the power of networking that works here and not signs and wonders instead of that attend more parties and you will be hooked up some day

    • Cynthia August 24, 2012 at 7:56 AM

      @wowza I beg read the message well, abi you need stethoscope ni

      • Wowza August 24, 2012 at 7:19 PM

        No I do not need one, obviously you have one handy because you must use it often. I do not need one.

    • weavah August 24, 2012 at 8:01 AM

      I must dissent in my opinion. Why? because the truth is that you never know what may push someone to seek guideance, assistance, prayers, etc, on who to marry and you must treat each individual case on the peculiar facts or on the merits. I think it is wrong or perhaps even careless to make general, sweeping statements that such people are lazy. I have met people that have found love and happiness in the most curious cricumstances (truth be told). I have even participated in dovorce proceedings for people that allegedly found love based on their own choices and sometimes in defiance of sound advice. I have carefully considered the above comments and am resolute that different strokes work for different folks. Love, a successful marriage, even life itself is not guaranteed. Its only by His grace that things work out

      • Amina August 24, 2012 at 9:00 AM

        I really dont get you

      • may-be August 24, 2012 at 11:08 AM

        i srzly dont get whoeva (He or She) iz saying too ooooo….

      • Geebabe August 24, 2012 at 11:11 AM

        Your statement is self contradictory.

    • may August 24, 2012 at 8:03 AM

      Funny, i saw this post n saved it n prayed wv it cos i had the same issue dis year. M shucked n pleased dt it made its way to Bella Naija. I n ma ‘so-called srz bf’ broke up earlier on this year cos his pastor says ‘M not his wife’….No explanation….nuffin! It kinda broke ma confidence in ma self! i got scared wondering wot cld be wrong wv me dt wld make some1 say dt bt me, thinkin of diff crazy things to d point dt i wanted to go n meet the pastor also. After seeing this pos on FB, walahi, i regained every bit of lost CONFIDENCE n realised it is own LOSS. M way better than a guy dt would run away @ d flimsiet issue- cos his pastor says ‘M not his wife’! GOD BLESS PASTOR ADEBOYE!!!

      • So Blessed August 24, 2012 at 10:14 AM

        My dear, I feel you. That’s how my friend’s relationship with her Fiancé almost hit the rocks cos his Pastor said something about her. Same Pastor invited her to hotel to undergo deliverance. She went and saw him dressed in a robe. He wanted her to undress so he could deliver her, said there was a mark in her private part. She refused .I blamed her for going,thank God she was not raped. Her fiancé knew she was going to meet the pastor. When she left there and called him to narrate what happened, he apologised for listening to him, thereby causing a strain on their relationship. God’s children have the Spirit of God and can hear from Him. Let’s not transfer our responsibility to someone else. Speaking ‘majorly’ to myself.

    • ada August 24, 2012 at 8:15 AM

      Well said! It is not only the issue of marriage that pastors tend to matchmake. Even money issues have become prevalent these days. Beware of giving pastors money for business deals which they may present to you. I helped a pastor friend with N1.7M a year ago which i sourced from moneylenders, this is one year now, he has refused to pay a kobo and i am being threatened by the moneylenders.My dear people, be it marriage, money or personal issues, learn to pray for yourselves, let God speak to you himself as he is the same God who spoke to Abraham,Isaac & Jacob. In as much as the bible says we should seek counsel from them , we should ask God for the spirit of discernment when dealing with them.

    • efe August 24, 2012 at 9:22 AM

      Pastor Adeboye is a worthy man of God to recon with,He has said the TRUTH ,which is very hard to find,cause what people want these days is the easy way out of everything.Thank you Sir for the word of advice and putting an end to ignorance in the life of many through the living word of God.GOD bless you

    • bbb August 24, 2012 at 9:40 AM

      so true and bella naija…disagree with u what u wrote in “Back on topic, I’ve heard so many stories about women and men who break up their relationships or even engagements because their mother/father”… Those are your parents and they have a say or experience to warn u about or advise u… If your family doesn’t support your marriage for one reason or another . I believe u shouldn’t marry the person or pray to God to guide you . But your family must not choose who you want to marry…

      • Biodun August 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM

        I agree.

    • isaid! August 24, 2012 at 10:19 AM

      Good and sound advice!!What i don’t understand is why cant people think and figure things for themselves.If you make a mistake,you simply learn from it thats all.

    • florence August 24, 2012 at 10:26 AM

      hmmmm, were will i start from, i waz seeing sumone sumtime ago, was still in school den, so my roomate advised me to see her pastor, i eventually followed her. The so called pastor said he’s not my husband, that they’re forces pursuing him from his past. i just gave him back his ring and cancelled the engagement. After school, to my surprise my so called roomate, is married to dat same guy. In as much as the bible says we should seek counsel from them , we should ask God for the spirit of discernment when dealing with the so called men of God. It is well

      • 2blunt August 24, 2012 at 11:17 AM

        peel dear, u learnt ur lesson the bitter way!

      • buchi August 24, 2012 at 11:37 AM

        EWOOO… I’m so sorry u had to deal with this. Every seeming disappointment is a blessing my dear. It is well

      • pretty August 28, 2012 at 1:19 PM

        Sorry oooh. She will reap what she sowed.

      • JJ September 25, 2013 at 11:13 PM

        TRUEEEEEEEEEE. discernment.. oh prophecies r to lift u
        uppppppppp. sorry my dear u b blessed with better……..

    • kem August 24, 2012 at 10:36 AM

      well said, some people hold on to their pastor words like God forggeting that the pastor will not live your life cuz it is only the person that wears the shoes that can know exactly how it feels, they can only advice through the words of God and it is left for you to abide and make that decisions yourself….a friend once said after a while of counselling a pastor now said he was the one to marry her….lol, help can only come from God. friends be wise and more so, any match making could lead to disaster, not all friends will have your best interest at heart oh, hook you up with someone that will break and mess up your life, even if a friend hook you up, once the person does not meet your standards and values, don’t stay i will date him cuz of my friend, lai,lai doesnt work that way….stand for what you believe in, define yourself and don’t let anyone do that for you………………wisdom works!!!!

    • kem August 24, 2012 at 10:45 AM

      funny enof, i heard about the crusade for marriage radio, television etc…………life doesn’t end there, its not about just getting married, staying married nko……what are your values, perception about marriage…………a man of purpose, integrity and who would love his home just as Christ love the church and a man who will build his home with the values of christ, hope faith love………..don’t just marry a man who will beat u to death simply because you want to answer mrs….may God help us all, amen

    • dee August 24, 2012 at 10:49 AM

      Well said, Pastor Adeboye! God bless you more for this. Nothing else needs to be added…

    • ms_dee August 24, 2012 at 10:50 AM

      i remembered wen my sis wanted 2 get married, and her pastor told she and her husband to pray and fast themselves that he could only pray along with them…..so i totally agree, we should be able 2 approach God ourselves.

    • dee August 24, 2012 at 10:55 AM

      @ weavah, what Pastor Adeboye means (in my opinion) is that people shouldnot leave the choosing process to their pastors alone, after all it’s not the pastor who is going to be in the marriage but ‘you’ who has refused to take time and hear from God whether ‘you’ are making the right choice or not! We need thier counsel and prayers but the onus of decision rests with us. Hope this helps you understand the post better,have a good day.

    • ESSY August 24, 2012 at 11:10 AM

      Uhmmmm, true word ” you re simply LAZY” becos you can easily do it yourself, dnt let anybody be it ur family member, or friends decide for you, they speak base on wat they see on the outside or thier selfish interest, I listen to Advices or suggestions from people, ve a toro thought of it, flliter it , pray over it and choose the one i beleive wuld favour me , you ve to tranin yourself to be whom you want to be in all area although nt everybody around u wuld like you for dat but dat makes u diif nd special. my siblings usually say m very difficult to deal wit why becos i dnt do exactly wat they wnt me to do, instead i make dem understand dat ‘Advise me on wat to do is different from tell me wat to do’ SO PLEASE firstly figure out wat u want in life den u can now ask for Perfection frm God if u re luky to find it.

    • MD August 24, 2012 at 11:40 AM

      LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      My thots exactly … LMAO

    • Sotch August 24, 2012 at 12:39 PM

      @May… same thing happened to me in March…His white garment affiliated mum went to seek ‘approval’ and the feedback was ‘the road isn’t smooth for us’…like really?!? Anyways he asked for time to think (he was confused) and went quiet for 2months and said relationship ended…i was broken, lost confidence in myself too but also felt at peace cos as a christian i know what the bible says : ‘he that finds a wife finds a GOOD THING’…I did not want to be the woman who he was ‘warned’ againat cos these people keep seeing things…and i felt at risk cos the bible also says ‘there is o divination against the house of isreal (or so sha, lol!)’…so why should some people be seeing ‘sturvz’ about me and God is not a confuser, he would have given me a ‘heads-up’ too..lol! Long and short, i’m engaged to be happy and i’m at peace with my decision to marry my boo…Ladies, let’s just get close to God…then ‘false message carriers’ wouldn’t sway you…God loves you just as he loves the ‘pastors’…he would speak to you directly…if you draw close and listen! It’s just like your Dad sending an ‘outsider’ to tell you something…and you live in the same house! okkk i hope you get my point…Pastor Adeboye has earned more of my respect with this write up.!

    • anon August 24, 2012 at 12:46 PM

      yes i agree who ever does that is lazy and irresponsible, cos they r looking for who to put the blame on, if the marriage doesn’t work out.

    • brandigest August 24, 2012 at 1:13 PM

      Pastors should know where their job function stops and the limits of their counseling. most times what see are those who do God’s part in our lives as if God delegate it to them. The once said to rob a bank, own a bank. Now to own a bank, build a church. so many marriages an relationship has crashed because of these fake / bandits. OPEN YOUR EYES. http://www.brandigest.wordpress.com

    • nino August 24, 2012 at 1:44 PM

      Enjoyed the post…believe it hundred percent. Your pastor is a man not God.
      And the best part is you have the same direct access to God like they so…
      I would have enjoyed the comment more if people wrote in ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Shorthand is good for what it is, text, bbm and all but if you use it indiscriminately you are no longer communicating…

    • faith August 24, 2012 at 2:00 PM

      BN una too much o..a friend sent me this same post last week n I totally agree with the PAstor…

    • XoXo August 24, 2012 at 3:17 PM

      Its not just about life partners. Nigerians have turned Pastors to Babalawo or mediums. We even ask them for permission to breathe….common

    • skesko August 24, 2012 at 3:50 PM

      hmmn..i need to share this, tho it cracks me up now…. was in my final years in school then when this my friend (Lord deliver us frm bad friends) started telling me to come and see her pastor, that my boyfriend is very serios minded, he is fine, i wouldnt want to lose him and so on and so forth, bla bla…me too wit my tissue-brain followed her to the man’s place, the pastor prayed and said hmmn this is my husband and he will make sure my bf is tied down(how?) that inshort in his vision, im not suppose to be in this Nigeria…walai, u need to see the way my friend was paying full attention, nodding her head and hanging on to every word thats coming out of his mouth..i could have sworn right then that she had a crush on him…he sha collected money from me.. a week after, i was in my room when this call came in , Alas! it was d pastor, was still wondering why he called when i heard ‘please marry me, I want to marry you! i was like huh? Jesus Christ!, he just kept on chanting i want to marry you, i want to marry you, please marry me, i switched off my fones for the next 5 days and warned that my friend never to call me again…i totally relate with this story cos its the truth, sins that day i made a vow wit God that nothing will ever make me go to a pastors church and be asking about which husband is good, ill rather go down on my knees and pray, fast too! if possible…..seek counsel if i have to, buh not putting names down here and there….pls where is the so-called boyfriend now? SHIOR!!!!!

    • koks August 24, 2012 at 4:05 PM

      One of the largest churches in the world?

    • konnie August 24, 2012 at 4:07 PM

      Bye the way, I agree with him

    • Toyin August 24, 2012 at 6:37 PM

      My relationship is between God, me and the potential man. If we are both christians, we can pray on our own, communicate and see where God takes us. When you bring in a third party especially in the beginning of the relationship where you are still getting to know each other, there’s always complication. Sorry, pastors are human beings like me and you, they are NOT God, so why do people put their lives in their hands. Most of the times, they have their own agenda, I’ve seen it happen too many times. Oh, he’s not for you, she’s not for you, says who? Abeg, go and sit down jor.
      I will rather go and see a relationship counselor, then when we are set to marry, I MIGHT ask him to pray for us as we begin this new journey. The pastor has to be a credible one too, not one that likes to be called Pastor because it sounds good. Since, there are not a lot of relationship counselors in Naija, instead of always running to these so called pastors, try to keep the communication between you two going or talk to an elder in the family that is trustworthy.

    • Bhejay August 24, 2012 at 6:41 PM

      we prefer lies dan d truth. So many people r nw idolising pastors. So many pastors are nt even cald, na dem call God. 9ce 1 by pastor Adeboye.

    • Dobis August 25, 2012 at 12:17 PM

      @ Cynthia u r right. E b like say wowza need stethoscope or better still make we give am handlens or magnifying glass cos stethoscope might b too sophisticated for her to handle.

    • DFD August 25, 2012 at 3:28 PM

      When Jesus died he did say he wz goin 2 destroy the temple and rebuild it in 3 days. It does have different meanings but it also means dat we don’t ve 2 go 2 d prophets 2 intercede to God for us but we can now directly commune wit God. Thank u Pastor Adeboye 4d post.
      Rather than bin curious about our future spouse or seekin 2know if his d right person is beta we ‘seek ye d kigdom of God and everytin ll b added unto us’.

    • WOW January 7, 2013 at 9:14 AM

      This happened to me and my fiance over 16 years ago. The pastor told him not to marry me. We were both seeking counseling from the same pastor. Turns out, my fiancee married the Pastors god daughter– becuase the Pastor said that’s what God intended, and he lived through 8 years of “H**L” as he put it, starting from the day of marriage. Well, after all that time, we ended up running into each other, discovered the truth about what happened (I didn’t know the pastor told him this–he just suddenly broke it off with me), and now we are back together….truly amazing that Pastors think they can match make, and tell someone who God has for them.

    • Pastor Pervaiz Samuel January 23, 2013 at 10:08 AM

      God Bless all pastors those are working for Kingdom of God Amen

    • lawrenta March 1, 2013 at 7:34 PM

      God bless Daddy GO, Pastor E A Adeboye

    • mechojare July 31, 2013 at 2:53 PM

      May God bless you for the amazing work that he is using you to do.

    • jcsgrl July 31, 2013 at 3:19 PM

      Hmnn this hot topic will be discussed in detail at a marriage conference starting August 9th. If you live in the DMV area in the states, please go to marryanewspousein21days.org to register. A lot of things taught in church concerning who and how to marry will be dispelled.