Betty Irabor says Women Before 30 Shouldn’t Worry About Getting Married Yet – Here’s Why…

Betty Irabor and husband Soni at Liz Awoliyi's Wedding in December 2015

Betty Irabor and husband Soni at Liz Awoliyi and Tosin Osho’s Wedding in December 2015

Genevieve Magazine founder and publisher Betty Irabor has been married for almost 34 years, to fellow journalist Soni Irabor. They celebrate their anniversary in July – click here for her 2015 message to her spouse.

Betty will be 59 this year, so she got married at 25.

She dished her thoughts on women marrying before 30 in a new Genevieveng.com post.Betty Irabor on marriage before 30 for women_January 2016

She added,

“A lady over 30 is mature and fully formed. She is not easily phased by some of the challenges and distractions that could come with marriage.”

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BellaNaijarians, what are your thoughts on this?

Wedding Photo Credit: Sniper Ajix

106 Comments on Betty Irabor says Women Before 30 Shouldn’t Worry About Getting Married Yet – Here’s Why…
  • Las January 12, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    I believe it’s “easily fazed” and not “easily “phased”

    • ATL’s finest January 12, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      U were asked what are Ur thoughts?

      • Cocolette January 12, 2016 at 7:55 pm

        Lol @ ATL… those are Las’s thoughts and they are quite valid i think

      • Ebere January 12, 2016 at 8:18 pm

        ATL’s finest, you cracked me up…….LOL.

      • Las January 12, 2016 at 8:45 pm

        No, I wasn’t asked. The same I never asked you to hibernate under my comment. I am not sure who did you wrong, but if it makes you feel better, I apologise on the person’s behalf.

    • Seriously January 12, 2016 at 6:45 pm

      Every woman mature differently and are ready for certain things at the right time. What if before 30 you find the right man for you? Go for it. You can grow together depending on each level of understanding and maturity. I know, women who married young that are still going strong in their marriage then some who fell apart. Some women married late and are still mentally immature. Same applies to men. Age dictates nothing in life. Life experiences, preparation, growth, upbringing, openness plays a factor. If a woman desires to marry, have a family when she’s close to 30 and no marriage it can become concerning. It’s not out of desperation, it’s just being human. In my early 20s, it was fun going on dates, hanging out and guys admiring you. At 24, I’m tired of the dating scene. I’m ready to settle down with the right man. Some women, they feel young at 30, and don’t mind extending marriage till they are 40s. It’s all about how ready an individual is.

      • Surely January 15, 2016 at 6:55 am

        you feel ready to settle down but u can’t be serious about settling down at 24. Big joke! HAHA!
        At 17 we all thought we were in love. Not much different at 24 tbh. And even your reason is funny. Because you’re tired of the dating scene. I laugh in childishness.

        Contrary to popular belief we do not expire by 30, life really opens up then and we can do things with clearer perspective. And the right man will wait, no be so? We just rush into marriage in Nigeria, especially women. Just made to believe that after uni is marriage, NOT SO! After uni is the school of life!

    • Nkechi January 12, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      Life. Life. Life. No one can really say specifically what will work for another. I respect Mrs Irabor because she has been able to hold her career and marriage and that is good for her. I have also seen numerous things under the sun. A 25 year old entrepreneur with a good marriage and enviable children. I have also seen an over 30 year old woman struggle to pay her rent and yet still struggling to hold a relationship. This is what I will say, when God brings you opportunities, don’t delay. Maximize it. Everyone is not the same. There is a time and season for everything. If you have your career and a great guy has come your way. Please do not delay. Age is not always maturity. I have learnt from both young and old in this my lifetime. Wisdom is what separates the foolish from the wise not age. Some young folks have handled what old folks can’t handle. Just take a look at our world and you will understand what I am portraying. Take your life seriously. It is yours and only one person has the manual: God Almighty. Others can only advise. He may want you to wao your world like the 31 year old Nigerian doctor and mother who has just opened an ER department, there are other men and women who have also made history in other parts of the world. Maturity stems from so much and not just age, some people had parents who instilled so much in them earlier in life. My brother in law was in the same class with a 13 year old boy at Harvard. Sometimes you just can’t comprehend everything about the life of another. Make haste while the sun shines. Work on yourself. Don’t leave things late in life. Recognize your own opportunities when they show up for you. Another person is different. Please stay prayerful and live your life without regrets because regrets hurts and you feel the pain for so long.

      • tosin adegbite January 13, 2016 at 12:11 pm

        God bless you for this realitic comment you posted. that is just the basic truth.

      • Anonymous January 16, 2016 at 3:28 am

        Has anyone considered some degree of hypocrisy in Mrs. Irabor’s article? She got married at 25. The best time for a woman to have children is between 25 and 30 years old. This is supported by science. Maturity is what matters and not chronological age. There is nothing wrong with women that want to get married before they turn 30. It would be the best case scenario. However, that does not mean making the wrong choice or settling just so that the person can say she got married before 30. The most important factor for a successful marriage is trusting in God and following the principles of life contained in the book of life ‘the bible’. People over 30 and even in their 40’s have been known to get married and have children without complications. However, the biological clock is not a myth. The older a woman gets the higher the risk of having complications during pregnancy.

  • Mia January 12, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    have been having serious panic attacks about turning 30 next year . I just wish things would just fall into place. Some of my colleagues think im 25 because I have a small frame. Jehova Nissi , please be a boo provider and send me a boo.*worried much*

    • Nma January 12, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      U people are so annoying with ur incessant talks on this forum about finding a boo by age X. Such desperation is what will lead a lot of u people to make serious mistake in marriages. Is ur life in order yet? Or is marriage the only thing u are seeking to validate u? I love love and believe in marriage but not at all cost or just to fulfill society’s expectations. It should be something organic and natural not forced. I mean look at u having panick attack because u are gonna be 30 next yr without a boo? U would think that the level of exposure abd education many of us have on this forum will churn out more quality and sensible thoughts.

      • ATL’s finest January 12, 2016 at 5:53 pm

        @ Nma Prayers up for U!!! Mega likes but then again , it ain’t easy to relax for it takes a strong one not to be bothered by a lot of this issues esp with this kind of society we live in. My dear relax oooo, U don’t wanna start taking Antidepressant medications or be on meds for Panic attack When money can’t buy a dude/marriage; why so hard on yourself? Faith & prayers is ALL U boo. Like Nma said, 30 is just a number baby.. I least expected when mine came along so dear relax, have fun, enjoy your job. Be 30 and Fabulous, just know what U want & what U don’t want.. Take it easy on yourself and stay PRAYED UP.

      • ATL’s finest January 12, 2016 at 5:54 pm

        My first like was for Nma and the rest goes to Mia

      • Chichi January 12, 2016 at 5:59 pm

        You honestly need to relax. It is not this serious. I agree with Aunty Betty, but in our society, being 30 & unmarried= pressure and unsolicited comments from relatives and friends, that eventually weigh you down.
        There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be married at a certain age. You can still be a boss lady, smash your goals & be married.
        It has nothing to do with ‘validation’
        And to be very honest, the older you get, the more narrow the ‘pool’, you get to choose from.
        So yes, let Jesus be a boo provider to her, in peace.

      • monkey jackie chan January 12, 2016 at 6:46 pm

        Aunty Irabor thank you oh!!! and Aunty Nma i hail you from inside my meeting coven!!! you guys are too much!!!
        monkey jackie chan!!!!

      • Ijeoma January 12, 2016 at 8:43 pm

        I can understand. I am more concerned about fertility issues than societal pressure. Secondly, the older you become the less your options sometimes. What happened to the many guys that came ealier. You were even picking and choosing, at a point the phones become more quiet and more quieter. Understand your own personal season in life. Don’t compare.

      • Surely January 15, 2016 at 6:57 am

        Let’s be BFFs for this comment!

    • Osa January 12, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      @MIA, it happened to some of us. turning 30 without any serious boo/ marriage is quite depressing. wetin man go come do?

    • Me January 12, 2016 at 5:59 pm

      God would answer your prayers in Jesus name. Yes Aunty Betty is right but she also didn’t acknowledge that we all mature at different ages, a 23 year olds life experience might make her a lot more mature than even a 29 year old hence making her more marriageable than the 29 year old ……… It’s not age per say but I personally think it’s how mentally, emotionally and spiritually mature you are.

    • Alice January 12, 2016 at 6:15 pm

      I know how you feel MiA cuz I once felt like that and offered up the exact same prayers to God. Anybody forcing you not to feel this way or mocking you doesnt know what they are saying or haven’t experimeced IT before.

      Nonetheless , encourage yourself in the Lord my sister because he will definitely do it for you when you ask! In the mean time polish up your career, keep your head up and carry yourself with dignity because the Father will not give his child stone when she asks for bread.

      Won’t He do it???? Yes He will!!!

      • 30 but not panicking January 12, 2016 at 10:39 pm

        I understand where @mia is coming from. I truly do. But i also agree with @nma. I turned 30 last week and i’m not having panic attacks because i don’t have a serious bf. I’m more concerned about making progress in my career this year than in getting married. Not that i don’t want to get married – i do but i’m not going on my knees every night begging God to bless me with a husband. Maybe because i strongly believe that the best things in life come to us when we aren’t desperately searching for them.

        Now with @mia having panic attacks and desperately searching for a husband before she hits 30 next year don’t you think she’s putting herself in a position to say yes to the wrong person just because she wants to be married at 30? My on again/off again bf recently proposed to me – on my birthday. I turned 30 and i should have screamed YES!. But the goose bumps and panic attack i had were sure signs that he was definitely not the right person for me. I literally saw my life flash before my eyes and with what i saw if i said yes, i knew i would be miserable with him. So i turned down his proposal politely – not an easy thing to do but it was necessary. Why? Because i want to have a happy, joyous and peaceful marriage. I want to be married to my IT guy and know that come rain, come shine, in sickness and health, in good and bad times, i will stick by him and willingly work through everything life throws at us.

        I am not married but i know that marriage isn’t something to joke with. So my advice to Mia will be to relax and let life happen. Trust me when you least expect it, what you want the most will come to you!.

        PS: I apologise for the epistle ooo.

      • Di January 13, 2016 at 10:07 pm

        @30 not panicking. You and me both. Turned down a proposal from my man on my 30th birthday few weeks. I knew he wasn’t what I wanted, I was restless, sleepless and confused for 1 month, prayed ceaselessly and God revealed to me that I will never be happy in that marriage but my ex will be happy. After that revelation, I felt peace like never before and cut him off. I’ve started to believe marriage is a very spiritual process since then, let God’s will be done.

    • Different Shades of Nigerian January 12, 2016 at 7:56 pm

      Recently, I saw a quote that cracked me up so much. It said “No woman should enter marriage without vex money”. So Mia, is your vex money complete? Maybe God wants you to gather enough money first, before one man will use your eyes to wash pepper

      • Nahum January 12, 2016 at 10:41 pm

        GBAM!!! Thank you o!! Any woman that is crying for marriage without her vex money complete is a big dunce!!! My dear, marriage is hard as hell but there is no man that won’t respect you when he knows you have vex money to walk away from his bullshit.

  • Gorgeous January 12, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    I agree. I was in a serious relationship at 22 and i was already bored out of my damn mind for dating for 3 years. I couldnt even stand him anymore. if i married him at that time, i dont know if it would have lasted. I think at over 30, i am better able to handle many things in life. At 25 i wasnt even ready for marriage.

  • Onetallgirl January 12, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    I love this!! Thank you Mrs. Irabor! Women out here now to stop worrying about getting married before 30, ladies establish yourself first, finish school, get a job, start making your own money before getting married. I’m in my mid 20’s and I’m not even thinking about marriage until I finish medical school. Hopefully 2016 will be the year I get into medical school! Amen!

    • Eniola January 13, 2016 at 8:01 pm

      Yes girl, good luck with med school! I started med school single in my mid 20’s, dated a few lemons, and will be single finishing med school single, AND about to turn 30. But am I worried? Heck no! Because I matured incredibly over the course of these 4 years, and learned so much more about myself and what I like and don’t like over the course of these years.

      Crazy thing is, I look back on these guys who I have dated and realized that none of them would have been suitable as they were for me to marry. Now that I am at this stage of my life, I feel that more is at stake, and that I have to be wise and prayerful when it comes to choosing a spouse, especially one who is going to support me through 3+ years of residency training full of overnight calls and sleep-deprived, narcoleptic episodes at the dinner table.

      Marriage is a beautiful thing, but the last thing you want to do is rush into one, just to rush out as quickly as I have seen with several friends over the years. God grant all of us the desires of our hearts at the right time! And Onetallgirl, email me if you need any advice about medical school application, and life as a med student! Good luck and God’s grace!

  • Onetallgirl January 12, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    *need

  • chikito January 12, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    Good point Betty. Most people who have successful careers built their empires or developed their ideas or got the degrees (Masters,Ph.D) at that age bracket of 23-30. Like LindaIkeji, BellaNaija, etc. Honestly, I think women should do whatever they want to do, but shouldnt do it because others are doing it or because someone said so. For instance, someone can marry at 18 and say well, Omotola married at 18. Omotola had a career at 18, was making cool money already at that age and was lucky to be married to an exposed and supportive and as well rich husband at that age. You may not be that lucky! Also, that was a lmost 20 years ago. In today’s world with this dwindling and unpredictable economy, I think it’s better that women have a career path or source of income before or soon after marriage. This is not an era to merely be a wife and mother- not when fellow women are kicking ass in companies, politics, etc Also, study the guy you married and plan out businesses either alone or as a couple. The only reason Toke isn’t weeping for Maje is cos the chic has HER own money, a career path, her own network and all. Many Nigerian women in her shoes will be helpless cos they have nothing to turn to. I mean, Nigeria is saturated with wives and mothers. In this age, be more. Marrying at 20 is dumb – what have you done with your life? What dreams have you pursued? what goals? Unless hubby is wealthy, your parents are wealthy, or you are so poor you need support – don’t give up life opportunities for marriage. After the beautiful wedding is over, responsibilities set in. You have to be ready for every step.

    • Someonecute January 12, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      My dear, age is not used to measure achievement. I know 22 year olds who are graduates and have good paying jobs. There are also 30 year olds who are still looking for jobs. Fingers are not equal. Prospective Goals differ too.

  • King Bae January 12, 2016 at 4:32 pm

    It’s very easy to say for someone who is already married… in this day and age, things are a lot different…. to each his own, when God declares it is time to settle down, He will lead you…
    Statements like this just stir and cause a lot of confusion and expectation among young growing women. This is her opinion, she is already married, let’s not forget that…

    • Surely January 15, 2016 at 7:01 am

      If a statement like this can confuse and stir anyone up then they have no sense of who they are. Marriage would only be a prison sentence for their fragile minds.

  • osa January 12, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    Maybe she’s speaking from experience. That’s her opinion.

  • Gypsy January 12, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    uh…no concrete explanation in her reasons. how sure is she that a lady cannot attend her so called ‘school of life that prepares them for marriage’ before the age of 30. Quite dull reasons to me.

  • Chinma Eke January 12, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    It’s not about the age, it’s about the level of maturity.

  • Someonecute January 12, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    This marraige thing again, i agree with Betty on not getting worried cos you would get more matured. I think that no matter the age, when the time is right you will meet that right person. as long as you find yourself in the right environment too. Two lovebirds; I married at 23, hubby too was young 25. We have 2 kids now he is 30 and I’m 27. I don’t think I would have gone for it at that age if I would be living in naija. As an introvert, I don’t think I could deal with all the naija in-law palava and poke nosing. That’s when someone will say you didn’t greet them well. I was lucky we both already had an opportunity waiting abroad. It’s kinda just our lives here, just us, So far I’ve had my parents come visit the kids. And that’s it. It’s like we’re in our world and I’m loving it.

  • somy January 12, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    Age does not define maturity, I think if u are matured enough at any age and understand marriage, you can stand to face hard times. 30 is just an age,some women at 40 cannot even stand tough times.

  • Uranon January 12, 2016 at 5:06 pm

    She didn’t say don’t marry, she said “don’t worry” about marriage

    • Alice January 12, 2016 at 6:22 pm

      Very easy for her to say from the comfort of her husbands house!

      • Surely January 15, 2016 at 7:05 am

        “Comfort” of where? Are you ok upstairs? I see women like you who think marriage is a happy ever after vacation. Who says she’s in comfort? If na Genny talk this one now, you people will complain that she wants to keep you to be like her. Now a woman who isn’t afraid to risk looking like she may made a mistake speaks up and you say “comfort of smelling house”… If i whoze you wan slap eh?

  • Kelechi January 12, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    She makes it sound like a man will magically appear once u turn 30, keep mind women fertility are best capped between the age of 25 to 32. There is actually no formula to this struggle, you just have to choose a struggle and deal it with as an adult. It is a rat race.

    • Njideka Obu………e January 12, 2016 at 6:03 pm

      She isn’t making it sound anyhow she’s just saying that if you are approaching 30 and you aren’t hitched don’t worry too much, you might not be missing much, you might not even be ready. So don’t misunderstand. I got married @ age 34 and I’m 8 years into it and i’ll tell you marriage is not always smooth sailing. You’ll not always be mushy over your partner, there willll be a time when it’ll feel like the love has fizzled. I did get to a stage where I was highly irritated by almost everything he did, didn’t mean I loved him less I was stressed and bored and was slowly rolling into a catatonic state but I had to do some soul searching and mind beating and loads of reminiscing and prayers to calm myself for me, my husband and kids. Things are completely different now and I look back and wonder how things got to that point. I can assure you I would have gone crazy if I was way younger cos my head was totally in the clouds. That is not to say it’s the same with others, age is no determinant but does play a role. It goes both ways male and female. We keep praying for that special God fearing tdh rich guy but we fail to better ourselves for that man. Same goes for the males. But then again a lot of people marry for a thousand and one reasons sooo it’s really not up to us to say when and when not to tie the knot.

    • Surely January 15, 2016 at 7:06 am

      your fertility data is inaccurate. Stop misleading people with your lies that our ovaries expire… #byefelicia

  • lalaf January 12, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    If you see husband marry, don’t let them tell you not to marry before 30.They will still be the same ones that will judge you.one day you will open your eyes and see that all your friends are married, and guess what you even went to all their weddings without noticing this.A word is enough for the wise.Even the successful made ladies over 30 in Nigeria find it hard to marry.

    • elle January 12, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      She just said that she thinks women should not be worried about being unmarried by 30. She hasn’t stipulated that no one should marry before 30 years.

      • Alice January 12, 2016 at 6:23 pm

        That’s reassuring coming from someone that got married at 25!

  • @edDREAMZ January 12, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    Lord knws if i have money nw marriage straight…… But age doest define maturity though….
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  • J January 12, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    1..) I t is not the age. It is the level of maturity because I know we all have that one friend in their 30s who dont have their shit together just yet. lol

    2.) Again it is not the age at which you marry that determines the extent to which you grow career wise or otherwise. It is the depth of your ambition and largely who you choose to marry. I am 23 years old, my husband is 25 and we have mutually agreed to no kids for at least another 2 years. I work, go to business school weekends, and right now he is helping me apply for a scholarship that might take me out of the country (and away from him) for a whole year.

    3.) Different stroke for dfrnt folks. And just do whatever makes you happy, yeah!

  • Sweetgirl January 12, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    whatever works for one.I got my degree at 20yrs and got married at 21.Have 3 lovely kids and i will be 29 this year.I dont look down on people of my age who are not married.I respect their opinions and feelings and we get along well.I also have a good Job with one of the communication giants in Nigeria with a Supportive Husband.

    • Damseldam1 January 12, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      Wow! Some people at that age starts having kids but you are through ? and u have all the time to enjoy your labour! Ain’t you lucky

    • Alice January 12, 2016 at 6:26 pm

      You are blessed my sister and you are not pompous or condescending about it either! ?

  • ola January 12, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    See people comparing themselves with someone that was born in the 50s…things have changed and no more the same as it used to be….cant you all see the rate at which people are getting infertile these days,we now have many people having to settle for IVF and all that……….times have changed….the earlier the better.

  • elle January 12, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    I get where she is coming from.

    I also agree on the second bit. When I turned 30, I had a certain mind shift. Something just happens…you become even more confident with yourself, your body, your choices and your lifestyle. Things do not phase you easily. Maybe it is because of the pressures of life in your 20s that you just fall into your own space, your own being in your 30s. No apologies. Your life beats to your own rhythm. You become more introspective. You work on your strengths as well as your weaknesses. You can discern the smokes and mirrors that people put up, and have no time for irrelevancies or time-wasters. You are more decisive with decisions and less swayed by outside opinion. You become more secure with yourself and can distinguish between an issue and the person…you learn to react less with emotions and more rationally.

    This is my experience. It is not necessarily everyone’s experience when they turn 30. I get her message.

  • ATL’s finest January 12, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    God bless U jare.. She’s trying to say don’t beat yourself up about it . The pressure some folks put upon themselves is ridiculous.

  • kim kim January 12, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    in my humble opinion, everyone is free to do what they want. if u wanna marry at 18, go for it. if u wanna focus on career, go for it. if u can handle both marriage and career, go for it. No one should tell another what age to settle down. we all were born with brains. everyone knows what’s best for them.

  • Nwakaego January 12, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    True! If i knew what i know now i wouldnt have married at the age of 27…yhh 27 is kind of old to alot of Nigerian but i wasnt an exposed and experienced 27….i wish i could………………

  • WhatTFIsThis January 12, 2016 at 6:23 pm

    Every Single Article is always focusing on Women whether its about wanting to get married – already married, etc etc.

    What about Men.??? Is the world all about WOMEN wanting to FIND (instead of the other way round as quoted in the bible) MAN and getting married.

    You guys have shown your desperation on all levels everyday on BN no wonder MOST men know how desperate you are and shit on you day in day out. You act too desperate. Relax. Even if you are 30 or 4o or 50, You dont turn pause or stop Gods clock. HE will choose when its time for you, but if you feel you are smarter and some idiotic atheist oyinbo scientist saids by 30 you cannot have kids so you want to listen to him – then go ahead, act God

    No wonder many of you have ended up with mistakes for life. You are so annoying. This is why if i have a single friend like me who makes noise about marriage i cut them off. I dont need that negative whiny whiny vibe. Pray and leave it to God and please shut up and stop whining.

    #MistakeOfLife

  • somebori’s booboo January 12, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Le boo showed up 5pm on my 30th birthday after many years of crying to God to let me walk down the aisle before i clocked 30…..God’s time is the best time to get married….Sefini

  • Ebere January 12, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    With all due respect, Madam Betty is totally wrong!!!The Nigerian society sees women over 30 as (In my igbo accent) “NNAGALU” and it would take a whole lot of civilization to change that mentality.I got married at 29 because that was when God brought my soulmate and that might not be the same case for everyone. Some people get married and stay married as young as 19years old and they still become successful e.g Omotola, Ooni of Ile-ife and so many others while some get married at 50 and still find happiness but telling an average Nigerian girl to wait till she is 30 before she gets married is like “telling me to sleep on okada”. If a girl feels she will be happy getting married at 18years, let her go ahead and if another feels like she prefers to wait till she’s 30 and above,let her ride on. BUT ONCE YOU CLOCK 30, some Nigerian men if not even majority would expect you to put so much effort into making the relationship work………BE WISE LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ebere January 12, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    She said “many women have not gone through the school which prepares them for marriage”, nope wrong!!!!!Marriage is a different ball game and I believe she can relate to what i am saying after all she got married at 25yrs, you never know what you get and you can never be too prepared for what you meet in marriage.If you like go through the school of LIFE or even the school of LIFE AFTER LIFE, marriage will teach you entirely new things that you never expected to meet………Ladies BE WISE!!!!!!!!!

  • Natu January 12, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    The best thing a woman can have is her shit together.
    #independentwoman #leader #entrepreneur

  • eny January 12, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    you all seem to forget that with the way things are evolving around us if before 30 u don’t have a serious relationship and a head thinking that u need to settle down before 30 am sorry to say u r rily dumb., Hello!!!! at 30 some ladies are hitting menopause and u say being 30 is not a big deal, my dear it is ooo in dis world we r in. life begins @ 20 sef nt 40 ooo. During her own life time sef girls not ladies marry early and that doesn’t mean they r nt prepared, I was opportune to meet a woman who married at the age of 17 and had her first child at the age of 18 she has 7 kids and she’s above 50 still living with her husband. For me marriage is not all about age but being prepared emotionally, mentally etc or if it’s about age y do we have the likes of funky akindele and many of our so called celeb with crashed home.

    • I said so January 13, 2016 at 12:18 am

      Shut the hell up with that bogus information! I hate when people try to make others go into panic mode because of thier bullshit insecurities.

      I am a medical practitioner and I know for a fact peri menopause does not kick in for my patients till early 40s. Yes it can happen mid thirties but extremely rare. Where you go 30 from is beyond me!

      • sweet breeze January 13, 2016 at 8:23 am

        There’s an element of truth in what he/she said. Some women hit menopause really early. My mum did in her mid thirties and I fear for my self if i’m not done with childbearing by then .

      • Ngozi January 14, 2016 at 3:05 pm

        Thank you medical practitioner for your intense study but how do you know who will eventually be in that category. It is just better to act at the right time. Do you know that some companies in the US are already preparing underground for a new government and change in policies? I know someone whose mother hit menopause at 30. It was shocking. No one knew she was in that category until she had one child and found it difficult having another. Of course the marriage crashed. (days of our parents when it was extremely hard to keep your marriage if you had only one child who is female) .Her only child is married already. My people perish for lack of knowledge. Be wise please and stay more prayerful.

  • the other Ebere January 12, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Marrying at 20 is not dumb. Some women myself included already have their lives together at that age and I got married at 26. Just because u don’t believe in something does not mean it’s dumb. Women can really have it all.

  • Dr. N January 12, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Back in d day, every girl from puberty was groomed for marriage. These days, girls r groomed to be independent. It seems funny to prepare a girl all her life to be d best in her class n suddenly tell her when she’s 25 that she is getting old. I think ladies need to take their destinies in hand as early in life as possible. All this “long time girlfriend” “friends with benefits” “Mr. Right now” is not helping our case.
    Pursue your passion but be on d lookout for d guy who is heading your way. Don’t write him off bcos of lack of packaging. Let d time wasters go. If he wont put a ring on it (wedding ring), deny him wifely privileges pls.
    I met hubby at 19. He was chasing his dream, I was chasing mine. He proposed after 2 years, I told him to put d proposal on pause till I graduated. Got married at 28, after working for more than 2 years

    • June January 12, 2016 at 9:18 pm

      Was it on a plane ????

    • Nelly January 12, 2016 at 10:25 pm

      This is what I want!!!!! Although slightly older than 28 though. I’m 19 now, would be graduating next year. I really don’t want to hear anything about marriage or “settling down” in my 20s. I don’t know how possible it is but I need to be established in my own right and be my own person first. I don’t want to be changing on anybody. I also want own properties and have MONEY first. My mum suffered just because she wasn’t earning much. No man would treat me anyhow because of money, God forbid!

      I don’t mind not giving birth. I hope to become a foster parent someday though. A child doesn’t have to come from me for me to love/care for him or her. I have friends getting married at 21, 22 and some 20 and I’m like really? They would be grandmas before I’m married, if I get married. I’m not even bothered in the least bit. Thank God I don’t live in Nigeria, so that African pressure is not close to me. Everybody should do them though. There’s no hard and fast rules to anything. While some people want to be grandparents in their 40s, others like me just want to provide the child/children they have with whatever they need and want without financial constraints in their 40s and into their 50s. Living and dying unlike those days is not dependent on age anymore, so I’m not too worried. God help every body.

      I also noticed that people usually think that single female above 30 don’t like being single. That’s a big lie though. Some ladies are genuinely not interested in all these. #careerwomen

    • ATL’s finest January 12, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      Yes Dr. N Don speak!!! Sotay a lot of my folks and friend started bleaching all in the name of Nigerian men love light skin chicks than dark skin chicks. Jeez! Black is beauty ooooo. Ok they bleached, still they r still single smh. Abeg while will someone marry Coke & Fanta? I pray for God’s guidance.

  • debz January 12, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    Goodness. marriage marriage marriage!!. I just thank God i don’t live in Nigeria because i really don’t get why getting married or not is a topic we must beat to death. Like everything else, do as you please! such backward mentality to make a problem out of the most insignificant issue! sigh
    Im 27, happy, rich, healthy and finally acne free (u cant understand the struggle for clear skin lol) and i have a strong relationship with God, amazing friends and the most loving and supportive family. Thank God there’s no foolish and unnecessary pressure in my life.

    I pray for all those who are not as lucky. Gods strength o my sisters.. but always remember last last we will ALL marry lol

    • someone January 12, 2016 at 11:06 pm

      please what did you use for your acne?

    • Didi January 12, 2016 at 11:48 pm

      Biko what is your acne regimen ?

    • Oby January 14, 2016 at 12:56 pm

      Loud it my dear loud it*hugs

      • debz January 14, 2016 at 7:03 pm

        ACNE.ORG products o.Please google it. Its affordable too.. Ive been using it for 3 months now and my skin is clear as f-!!My sister used it first before i did and hers too is clear like rhianna!lol I swear i had tried it all!!!
        But i must warn you be patient! I’m quiet fair in completion but my face turned black as charcoal the first 2 months!! but i didn’t stop. (It was hard because i cant wear makeup to work so i was hiding up an down from my coworkes!! the struggle was too real! lol But the fact that the acne was clearing week after week gave me strength!

        Now my face is Almost even with my body again and all old acne spots are significantly gone!!

        Listen, If God could cure my adult acne, our husband search is a small matter in his sight!! Bae’s for everyone SOON IJN!!LOL M
        EANWHILE CONTINUE BEING FABULOUS LADIES! husband IS NOT THE SOLUTION TO WORLD HUNGER 😀

  • Neke January 12, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    She said if you’re under 30 and unmarried you shouldn’t be too worried, meaning it’s good to marry before 30 but if you’re not there are positives still

  • Jojo January 12, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    @ debz. Lol…pls share the secret to your acne free skin. This
    marriage talk is really getting boring.

  • ATL’s finest January 12, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    What’s NNAGALU ???? U “haff” come again.

  • B January 12, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    DR N!!! We must be best buddies. our life is a learning field generally. no one can be fully prepared for anything. Different people, different struggles. we need to stop attaching age to anything and preach wisdom. if u are 30, u will find someone, if u are younger and found someone please go for it (the right person). then both of you can learn together, grow together and be in this ‘school of life together’

  • Phoenix January 13, 2016 at 3:30 am

    So true marriage is not for baby’s nor for the faint of heart. It’s for the fully mature who have made a conscious well thought through decision to be together through thick and thin temptTations.com

  • The real dee January 13, 2016 at 6:01 am

    The question is not what age to marry. You can marry at any age you deem fit. The most important thing is praying and seeking to know who your God ordained partner is. This truth was revealed to me when I clocked 19. (At 19 I was about graduating from college). I never knew human beings were supposed to pray to God to know his will concerning choosing a life partner. I never knew God could lead a man/woman to his/her divine partner. When I got this Rhema, I held on to it and decided to try it out.

    I did and God started giving me revelations. I surrendered my relationship and marital decisions to God and bluntly told any guy that came along to wait and allow me pray and know whether God approves of the relationship. I never took a step until I heard from God. Not even the financial status, job or potential of the man moved me. My response was, let me go and pray.

    And I tell you, I thank God every time that I made that decision. God’s right man for me, from whose ribs I was formed, eventually came along and God said, he is The One. In fact, what stood out about God’s choice was that he said he had prayed and would encourage me to take my time to pray too. He patiently waited for me to get confirmation from God. I was 20 when this happened. We courted for a few years and eventually got married when I was 24.

    What is the crux of my epistle? No matter what age you are now, It is not too early or too late to commit your marital decisions to God and start seeking HIM only to know and meet your own husband/wife.

  • belle January 13, 2016 at 6:14 am

    i agree with her. sometimes i wish i had waited till i was at least 27 before i said the “i do”. i would have accomplished so much especially career wise but i was too eager to move too fast. i got engaged at age 24 and got married at the age of 25…some people will say its the perfect age to marry but honestly sometimes i feel like i should have waited a bit longer. when i see all these young babes rushing to marry, i just laugh at them in my mind because this marriage they are running into is not an easy something. Based on my experience, one thing i will advice women to do pre marriage is to go through the career phase, i made that mistake and its haunting me currently. Have your money..THOU MUST HAVE HER OWN MONEY…. its very important and explore life a bit. these 2 things will surely prepare you for what lies ahead…

  • thow_lou January 13, 2016 at 7:56 am

    First it is important to consider the fact that in this part of the world, there is a lot of pressure on ladies to get married. I am 22 (turning 23 on Friday) been working for 2+ years after NYSC and all I hear now from people is “what are you doing ? o je lo marry, have all your kids by 30 … blah blah blah”

    Way back old age was considered maturity, not anymore.

    In my opinion, you can get married at any age IF YOU ARE MENTALLY READY FOR IT, marriage is challenging and it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. However, I have met ladies who got married at 22 and they have very wonderful marriages, I have also seen ladies who got married at 30+ and feel like they are being punished by God for sins they committed way back.

    If you don’t feel ready, don’t be pressured into it. This marriage is forever, so why the rush to jump into it.

    In a way I agree with Betty, even at 30 some ladies have not grown the balls to keep their homes

  • Oluwaseyi January 13, 2016 at 8:45 am

    Congratulations Betty on your anniversary, on this thought I might not totally agree with you, age has nothing to do with maturity, I got married at age 26 and I have been married for 8 yrs, I can say my marriage has been a success story so far all glory be to God not because I don’t have challenges I face in there but I am mature emotionally to deal with them one after the other, meanwhile I have seen some who got married after 30yr who can’t handle the pressure of marriage, it is all depends on upbringing, experience, and what and people one is expose to. That is why it is important for parents to bring up emotional stable and God fearing children who can withstand every storms of life not only in marriage but in every sphere of life without fear. In my conclusion whether you marry before 30 or after 30,it those not matte, Mr right can surface anytime never let him go.

  • One Guy like that January 13, 2016 at 10:18 am

    1. She married at 25 and said ladies shouldn’t bother till they are 30

    2. She is in her husband’s house telling those who are single not to bother

    3. At a younger age, you have plenty suitors to choose from, at an older age, you have little or no option

    4. Being career oriented does not stop you from getting married, and vice versa. You can get both at the same time. Using career as an excuse is “self-consolatory”. Excuse of the modern day girl who hasn’t gotten the man she wants.

    5. She married when she wanted, you can marry when you want. Don’t tell anyone when they should marry.

    6. During her period, the grew up with their husbands (husbands may not have anything). This age, ladies want a self- made man. At 30 years of age, if you are looking for a man, you might probably be looking for a “married man” (Many of you can relate that married men plenty pass young single guys wey dey toast you)

    7. Individual life goals are different, If Mia wants to marry at 22, its her choice and yes, she should be worried she’s not married at her expected period 22. Nma, if you want to marry at 30,35,40, it is your choice. Marry when you want and dont force your opinion on others. Your type will be forming single independent girl on the internet but crying on the bed. Leave the girl alone, it is her choice

    8. How fertile are your reproductive systems as you grow up or age? Stop the silly excuse of a lady is matured at 30. Is age maturity? In Northern part of the country where a girl marries at 12,13,14 years of age. You think she isn’t matured? She has been eating elder people’s food (D tins), she gave birth, nurtured the child, can take care of the house…and you think she isnt matured? Life Experience is what determines maturity

    • Surely January 15, 2016 at 7:12 am

      You certainly have no grasp on reading comprehension. Use your data for online school, not leaving incoherent epistles on blogs.

  • prince January 13, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    My bible tells me that God made all things beautiful in HIS time. Whenever you find your partner is the right time, 22, 32, 40.
    I have two female friends presently, one is married for almost 6years now, the other hasn’t. While we were discussing recently, the single lady was busy talking herself down for being single at age 32, she was so bitter that you could see it all over her. The other one replied and said to her, look at me, I’ve been married for almost 6years now without a child. I’m not only facing pressure from myself alone now but both relatives, she said openly that she got married because she taught she wasn’t getting younger at that time and she jumped at the man that came.
    God is never LATE or EARLY, whenever HE shows up is the RIGHT TIME. I’m a man but ladies need to relax about this issue and be more focus.

    • nneoma January 14, 2016 at 1:36 am

      your closing statement, be more focused on what if i may ask?

  • kuku January 13, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    One Guy like that – Flaccid Argument….

  • helena January 13, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    Nelly, I could hug u right now….it’s like you’re in my head….

  • Louda January 13, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Hmmm why this same topic now? Turning 32 soon and while I was thanking God for providing boo, poom! from the blues boo stopped talking to me for reasons I dont know, wont pick my calls. I dey my own jeje he find me come say he wan marry me. Being that I have known him since childhood and I liked him I was overjoyed. They say I should not worry? I wish not to worry but its not easy. Its not easy anywhere, marry when you find your man thats all I can say. I wont encourage my daughter to marry after 30 sha.

    • nneoma January 14, 2016 at 1:45 am

      thats the thing people dont know, once you get to 29, your market is literally already dwindling. so many younger beautiful girls out there who are potential competitors. so why would a man leave his 26 year old option and go for a 34 year old woman? nobody is saying marriage is the ultimate goal in life but if it comes sooner than expected, look at it as a blessing in disguise and don’t chase your destiny away. many women are single because they had their opportunities but threw them out the window either due to greed or misplaced priorities.

      • bayowa January 14, 2016 at 11:33 am

        I agree with everything you said except that why will you leave a 26 yr old for a 34 yr old. Value it is.

        there is no hard and fast rule to life. look around you for images of successful couples against your image of an idle couple when you were younger.

        success in marriage is not about age, beauty or anything. Its just maturity who can come from a 26yr or a 34 yr old. Just be sure to know which one of them is your won.

      • Oby January 14, 2016 at 12:52 pm

        i beg to disagree with you on this pls. Maybe you should sit down with one of the ‘younger beautiful girls’ n ask how her experience has been. Its not funny at all,im talking from experience okay

      • Surely January 15, 2016 at 7:14 am

        Your market is dwindling for who????
        The ones rushing into marriage, tell me if they are happy!

    • bayowa January 14, 2016 at 11:36 am

      why not pray about this. I know you have but stay like 2-3 days doing some soul searching.

      to do that you are secluded in a place of prayer with inspirational material. usually u will find peace by the time you are through

  • momo karbo. January 13, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    A glaring example of blatant hypocrisy. She got married at 25, but she’s now telling women not to marry before 30. Genocidal tendencies of mass proportion. Doesn’t she know that age is not valid yardstick to determine one’s level of maturity? I am not discouraging women to get their shit together, like one female commentator posited. What i know is that life has an opportunity cost formulation. Get something you giving up another. This is all Europeanized garbage, that will cost these women a bundle later on. Women, your primary responsibility is to further this generation.

    • diamond January 15, 2016 at 4:45 am

      Before you say its hypocritical of her to make such a statement, Don’t forget that when she got married more than 25 years ago, it was perfectly normal to marry at even age 18 (infact she married late sef with regards to that era). women back then weren’t really as established or advanced as women of these days. they lived extremely simple lives and were mostly housewives. its a whole different ball game for today’s women! now everyone is talking career career career….you have to be a certain age to have achieved such milestones and experiences in today’s society, hence her emphasis on age….she makes perfect sense!

  • eva January 15, 2016 at 8:30 am

    it is your own primary responsibility to further this generation not mine. mine primary aim is to be happy. and not let any stu.. pid society dictate how I live my life.

  • YUMMY CHICK CUM MUMMY January 15, 2016 at 2:11 pm

    i regret getting engaged immediately after college at 20.all was going on fine till i had to put my dream on hold thinking i v time ,so had my child at 21……now, at 26 m single with a kid.fiance broke up and now , i wish i had used the opportunity i had then to better myself…but God knows best. m just trying to pick up pieces of my life back……….

  • Tobi January 15, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Walahi, you made me laugh.

  • Tobi January 15, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    I’ll be thirty in July. You are all invited to my birthday party.

  • daoudi February 25, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    yes bien brvo

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