40 Years After Saying ‘I Do’ and The Irabors’ Love is Still as Bright As Day!

Can you share a little about how you first met and what attracted you to each other?

Betty Irabor: Soni and I met in 1982 at an album launch where I was working as a Public Relations Officer in Surulere and got married a year later, on July 29, 1983, at the Ikoyi registry with a few of our friends as guests. The attraction was his kindness and charm.

Soni Irabor: I met her in 1982. She invited media practitioners to an album launch sponsored by the PR company where she worked, VOO Ltd. I was attracted to her beauty and dashing smile.

Over the past 40 years, what are some of the most memorable moments you’ve shared as a couple?

Betty Irabor: As you would imagine, there have been so many happy memories, like the first time I held my first child in my arms, followed by when my pregnancy test was positive after a long wait for my second child. Those are unforgettable memories most mothers can relate to. There have been other precious memories of parenthood, building dreams, and charting courses together.

Soni Irabor: Travelling together, socialising together, and those precious moments when the children were born.

Marriage comes with its share of challenges. How have you navigated through tough times, and what have you learned from those experiences?

Betty Irabor: Navigating life together is like navigating land mines; we try not to step on the explosives of unguarded emotions, especially in difficult times. “Be angry, but do not sin” is a Bible passage that comes to mind, especially in difficult times. Communication is a vital aspect of marriage, so we try to communicate and talk things through without resorting to any form of verbal violence. Over the years, we have upped our skills in conflict resolution, so we don’t have as many roforofo squabbles as we used to. Communication is a major key to a sane marriage. We also try to manage our expectations of each other. What I have learned is that when you put too much pressure on each other, resentment easily sets in. In tough times, we have found solace in each other.

Soni Irabor: Forgiveness, friendship, love, no malice, trust and understanding, compassion, and respect. We have never fought, I’m happy to reveal.

How do you keep the romance and connection alive after 40 years?

Betty Irabor: To be very honest, it’s very difficult to kindle and rekindle the romance in any marriage, especially going into decades like ours, but we keep doing those things that we love and enjoy.

Soni Irabor: Same answer as 3 above, coupled with the fact that no external influences (even though many have tried!) have been allowed to affect our relationship.

What inspired you to decide on a vow renewal for your 40th anniversary?

Betty Irabor: Looking back at all we have been through, we survived depression, a stroke, and other things we’d rather not talk about, so I thought, Hey, let’s do something fun like a vow renewal for our 40th anniversary! And Soni was game. Sometimes, men just go ahead with their wives’ plans to avoid trouble! But I think he enjoyed every moment of the celebration.

Soni Irabor: It was a refreshing and reassuring thought, and both agreed.

How did you feel about reaffirming your love and commitment in front of your friends and family?

Betty Irabor: It was beautiful. I loved the solemnity of it all. It was good to be reminded of those vows again.

Soni Irabor: It was a happy moment, especially seeing some of our old friends who were with us for the first time.

Tell us about the Docu-series “The Irabors, Forever After” and what inspired you to share your journey with the world

Betty Irabor: “The Irabors Forever After” on Africa Magic captures precious moments and major milestones in our marriage. It is unscripted and unfiltered in its authenticity. It is Soni and I opening our world to our viewers without attempting to change any narrative on marriage. The series is captivating because we are very open about our most vulnerable moments. Every marriage has ups and downs, and ours is no exception. Viewers who have experienced these types of challenges or any other can relate. It’s a celebration of friendship, love, family, and marriage. The high point of the series is the 40th anniversary/renewal of vows ceremony, where family and friends turned up to honour one of theirs. Its relatability and originality are the strongest points of “The Irabors forever after.”

Soni Irabor: Betty convinced me. We felt it would be inspiring for others to share in our adventure. Seeing how two regular souls can make things work through thick and thin.

How do you envision the next chapter of your life together?

Betty Irabor: God willing, we pray for good health of mind and body. We hope to reap more of our labour. We look forward to years of even better friendships and perhaps more adventures exploring some places we said we would but didn’t quite get around to. I am toasting to forever after.

Soni Irabor: Growing old together. Share our moments and memories through our journey together with younger people who may be challenged by the changing fortunes of time. The world is indeed changing!

If there’s something you’ve had to re-do in your marriage in the last 40 years, what would it be?

Betty Irabor: Believe more in his dreams, just as he did mine. Be more intentional about living a healthy and joyful life. I wish I lived more in the moment rather than in the past and future.

Soni Irabor: Maybe how better to make my family (wife and children) even happier.

What’s something you would love to share with the audience and followers that wasn’t aired on the docu-series or that we do not know about?

Betty Irabor: I am a bad cook.

Soni Irabor: I no know o! Love rekindled? Fun and laughter? We always had those, but we became more engrossed in our quest to exhale.

How have your priorities and goals as a couple changed over the years, and how have you supported your individual growth and aspirations?

Soni Irabor: Cherishing our talents and allowing each other to breathe. We believe in each other.

Share a piece of wisdom that you think is particularly important for a successful and lasting marriage.

Betty Irabor: Build your marriage on truth and trust.

Soni Irabor: ‘If you worry, you die; if you don’t worry, you die. So why worry?’ I got that from an old friend many years ago. Respect yourself, respect your spouse, and give each other the benefit of the doubt. You do not own the monopoly of wisdom. Be truthful, and treat those around you with respect. It will come back to you. If you sing the same song in a shouting match, you won’t know which one is mad! Silence has power, especially when applied appropriately.

Credits:

Bride: @bettyirabor
Groom: @iraborsoni
Creative direction & Styling: @hfstylebook
Photography: @emmanueloyeleke @eopstudios
Make-up: @bimpeonakoya
Hair: @zubbydefinition
Gele artist: @dbellezza_gele

Betty

Black and gold dress: @lanredasilvaajayi
Black dress: @orireofficial
Shoes & Accessories: @hfstylecloset

Soni

Two-piece: @sisiano
Traditional attire: @kinghakbal
Coral beads: @hseofpambal_fabrics
Shoes: @atafo__
Fashion assistant: Joy Ibeakanma