“They are just distracted” Timi Dakolo on Why Men Cheat, His Family & More

Timi Dakolo

Singer Timi Dakolo was featured alongside IK Osakioduwa and Richard Mofe-Damijo on the cover of Genevieve Magazine’s latest issue (click here if you missed it) and now we’ve got a look inside his interview with the mag where the father of 3 talks about everything from fatherhood, to love and more.

See excerpts below.

On what love is: Love is to know someone to a great extent and to be patient enough with his or her imperfections. Saying I love you is to know you for who you are, flaws and all.

On deciding to get married: Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. I knew she would be my wife when in the course of the relationship I saw attributes I liked. She would stop me halfway through my pessimism and tell me to dream big. She came with a painter and changed the interior of my house because she hated the way my house looked and I would think to myself wetin this ajebo dey talk?  She gave me fashion advice and she was my fondest aproko partner. I knew I would spend forever with her.

On his wife: [Busola is] Industrious. She hates being idle. She loves family, infact you cannot come into her family space. She also likes to be in the know; she wants to know my projects and is always willing to contribute. She also likes to travel. I could never marry a woman that is not going anywhere and is unwilling to learn new things. I believe there are many ways to skin a cat; there is never just one way of doing something. I also cannot marry a woman who cannot manage money. If you cannot manage your money, how will you manage our money?

On if his wife was making more money than him: I do not have a problem with marrying a woman richer than me as long as she gives me my respect and listens to me. There is nothing a man loves more than the respect he gets from his wife. Women love attention but men love to be respected. You can be the boss lady in the office but when you get home, you should care for and respect your husband.

On why men cheat: They are just distracted. A certain pastor gave me a very wonderful illustration. She poured water from an old glass into a new glass and gave me to drink, after that she poured water from the new glass into the old glass and she gave me to drink then she asked me if the water tasted different. She said that is how women are. It’s the same woman in different packages. There will always be a better, classier and more beautiful woman but that shouldn’t distract men.

On being patient and loving in a marriage: My wife woke up one morning and said she wants be a photographer and attend the New York film Academy. If you don’t want problems in your life, when your wife comes up with a spontaneous idea, just agree.  Women are very interesting. I think every woman has her own wahala. You might be talking about something totally different and they bring up something from the past that you had apologised for. I’m forced to think they do it when there is so much peace and they feel the need to spice things up. It’s a very funny thing indeed. If you marry for love, love will be your driving force but if you marry for money or beauty whatever was the attraction is what you’ll need to sustain it. Let love and compatibility be the driving force for marriage because if you marry for beauty, Wetin face north today go face south tomorrow unless you buy a clip to help her hang it.

On wedding expenses: Don’t pressure your self to do a wedding that society expects of you; printing a wedding invitation that looks like a visa. In life you are your own competition.  Whether you have money or not, it doesn’t get easier after marriage. Budget and plan according to what you have. No one will come to check your suit to see how much you spent on it.

Read more from his interview here and be sure to pick up a copy of Genevieve Magazine for other features.

41 Comments on “They are just distracted” Timi Dakolo on Why Men Cheat, His Family & More
  • lk February 19, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Time Dakolo you get sense and that response about on why men cheat is on point!!!

    • Damisko February 19, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      @lk

      The question should no longer be, why do men cheat? With generic answer. It should be why do men choose to cheat on a good woman, who is a good wife and mother to their children. Which Timi Dakolo falls in that category. Timi, why did you cheat with Busola with some random Girls knowing she’s the best thing in your life? Oya answer………

      • bellanaijathebest February 19, 2016 at 2:29 pm

        Leave am. I don’t care about his life per se but my contribution is why don’t women cheat on this losers? the answer to that question is very important for women in this new millenium.

      • zeal February 19, 2016 at 3:44 pm

        You sef sabi the gist??? Thought it was just me o. Timi! Timi! Well done o

      • Aya Oba February 22, 2016 at 10:32 am

        yes o timi answer cos I know the girl u cheated with,she was the one u were with for years and suddenly married busola out of the blues,we her friends sef never saw it coming,and if you talk too much I go spill,leave matter for mattias,bellanaija if you like don’t post

  • Bee February 19, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    lovely advise. today i asked a collegue of mine why whenever she asks her husband to do something for her he does it joyful and she said because i give him all the respect he needs as a man and that if you respect your husband he will love you forever. her words “women needs love men needs respect”…………..and Timi just said the same thing women needs attention men needs respect.

    • ForTheRightsOfMen February 19, 2016 at 5:19 pm

      I have said it before and I will say it again: cheat on your husband and he will probably forgive you but disrespect him repeatedly and make a habit of doing so and you have lost him into the hands of another woman. A stayer of a husband is one who gets the maximum respect from his wife. If that respect is missing at hope and he find that respect from someone else whether academically or socially lower or higher than you, he will be DISTRACTED. I know that some men with over-respect from their wives cheat sha, Men like that are lost forever. But the bottom like is that the consistent lack of respect is what sows the seed in the heart or mind of a man to cheat.

    • sexy diva February 19, 2016 at 9:26 pm

      so even if the man keeps misbehaving you think the respect will still be there? men expect women to keep tolerating all their bullshit and still be a dutiful and respectful wife, yet they cannot tolerate a flaw or two from the woman…good marriages happen because0`s both parties give and take..no woman will always show respect to a man who is a serial cheat, abusive and shows no love

    • Nahum February 20, 2016 at 12:12 am

      Just a question, what if a wife is not being loved by her hubby? What if he does not take care of her? He beats her? He cheats on her? You see, we can throw around one liners all day long but a truly successful marriage is based on MUTUAL love and respect. Once one party is doing all the loving and respecting and the other is just taking, disrespect and hatred will set in. We always forget that women are human beings and not robots. A robot works on a one line instruction, a human being is nurtured and loved to achieve his/her full potential.

  • Jenny February 19, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    *If you marry for love, love will be your driving force but if you marry for money or beauty whatever was the attraction is what you’ll need to sustain it.*

    Excellent Quote! Whatever you marry for, that is what will sustain it…Thank you Lord!!!! This ministered to me 🙂

  • keke driver February 19, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    The definition of a Man.

  • bitumen February 19, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    *If you marry for love, love will be your driving force but if you marry for money or beauty whatever was the attraction is what you’ll need to sustain it.*

    Thats the quote of the year hands down.

  • Olobe February 19, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Real Advice from someone who has been there and done that unlike all these shallow one sided relationship/marriage advice articles we are used to on bella naija especially from people who are not even married wanting to give marriage advice.. This is loaded stuff by timi. I have had to send the link to as much people as i can so they can also be blessed by this. Thanks to bella naija for putting this up as i would not have bought the magazine. to see this.

  • ujay February 19, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Nice words Timi… You just said it all.

  • Mercygal February 19, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    THANKS TIMI DAKOLO , AM INSPIRED BY THIS THOUGHTS OF YOURS…..”THE WAY YOU LAY YOUR BED SO YOU LIE ON IT”

  • deedee February 19, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    I think bellanaija needs to include icons….*insert clapping hands**

  • ooh February 19, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    But Timi is cheating now, what is his reason?

    • tish February 19, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      Cheating with you? Those your dreams are not reality o, wake up and go and find yours. Doomsayer!

  • Sugar February 19, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    This really reminds me of myself. When there is so much calmness i just bring up a random thing my BF has done in the past and remind him about it, then argument starts.
    ‘Timi just said its a way we ladies spice things up” ohhhh welllllll
    And am also fond of rearranging his house whenever am there, And during the week he would call and ask where did u keep my grey shirt, where did u keep the book i left on the bed, what of the paper i left in the drawer? I do a total makeover when am there and he’s always glad because the entire house end up sparkling and organized

    • Puzzles February 19, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      ‘And am also fond of rearranging his house whenever am there, And during the week he would call and ask where did u keep my grey shirt, where did u keep the book i left on the bed, what of the paper i left in the drawer? I do a total makeover when am there and he’s always glad because the entire house end up sparkling and organized’

      All this for your BF? Sugar, receive sense o! May you not write Aunty Bella tomorrow.

      • Doxa February 19, 2016 at 7:05 pm

        What is wrong with her arranging her boyfriend’s house if she is FOND of doing so? Nawa o. Someone cannot do something nice for the person she loves, the whole world will be saying “receive sense”. It’s not like she said she is fond of having sex with him.
        Biko,@Sugar, do what makes your heart glad.

      • FasholasLover February 20, 2016 at 11:01 am

        GF remuneration on Wife duties.

      • Sugar February 20, 2016 at 12:05 pm

        Yall saying its wifey duties? Those of you who have sex with your so called boyfriends what do we call that? Having sex with a man you aint married to isnt wifey duties?
        We are both celibate in the relationship and if i decide to re-arrange stuff in his home that is what i love doing and by the way, what would you call Busola who took a painter to Timi’s house to change the wall colours? she’s also performing wifey duties?
        @puzzles Your brain needs a reset !

  • Ginger February 19, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    Timi Timi, Mr. Lover boy, Mr. I love my wife, Shiiioorrrr.

    Timi, quick question abeg, with all you’ve said about loving your wife and so on and so forth, why are you now cheating on Busola with that very pretty lady at Lawanson, Surulere ehn???

    You go there at least once a week codedly to see your side bae and you never miss a week!

    please tell us, does this not make you a hypocrite???

    Bros I hail oooo!

    • Bide February 19, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      *grabs juice*

      • o February 19, 2016 at 9:45 pm

        grabs popcorn….. oh wait!!!, i don’t like pop corn. Now grabs groundnuts….

    • sexy diva February 19, 2016 at 9:32 pm

      don’t mind all these African men that think its their birthright to cheat…..he knows what busola has done in his life na so he cant fuck up…..anyway he doesn’t flaunt anything in her face and he is a good hubby (not justifying his cheating oh) make we no lie…so if wifey doesn’t see you misbehave then its all good…but if you treat her nasty which respect u wan get?

    • zarah baby loke loke February 19, 2016 at 11:22 pm

      Ewooo

    • Guilty as accused February 21, 2016 at 7:13 am

      Ginger, you must be the secret gf
      You must be the one to know all these
      Are you pained that you are the side chic?
      Paining you that he declares his love for his wife
      Please dont kill Timi’s wife so you can have him all to yourself

      Let me tell you one thing, you cannot pass side chic. The wife will always remain the wife. Better give yourself brain and leave him go find your own husband.

      Side chic aint loyal.
      If they cheat with you, they will also cheat with someone else

  • prince February 19, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    Timi well done jare. you talk better. make una dey there dey talk rubbish about why him cheat. the better talk wey una suppose pick una leave am.
    awon oniranu oshi

    • Ada Nnewi February 19, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      I hope you don’t focus on rubbish when your woman cheats on you.. people like you deserve a taste of your own medicine….

  • Ola February 19, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    Nice nice

  • Timi’s Biggest Crush February 19, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Abeg abeg all these bad belle people saying Timi is cheating goan find a seat and put your ugly mosquito infested abscessed bumbum. msheeeeew. dUDE’S an inspiration and I looove him plenty homo. home scatterers awon oloshi oloriibu. okbye

  • cindy February 19, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    the way some people carry respect on their head, you go think say na food. anyway, I’m all for respect so long as you don’t disrespect me ‘cos I’m a woman. don’t think you will disrespect me continuously and misbehave any how and i will still respect you o. you are on a long thing ni yen.

    • concerned February 19, 2016 at 9:02 pm

      GBAM!!! I can’t love you enough for this!

  • olamii February 19, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    Now i see why i like your music…..ur sense still intact until proven otherwise,but until then,big ups bro!

  • Wow February 20, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    Timiiiiiì. I just deleted the MCM pic I had of you on my IG. More than 3 witnesses cannot be lying. All the respect I had for you…………..well let’s say I’m looking for it now.
    There is no excuse for a man to cheat. It reduces him to a mere piece of bread. Whatever i see you as now it might not be anything more than that. I’m pained

  • Ifepe nnennia February 20, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    Please what is the evidence of his cheating.it’s so funny how people run down other people’s marriages on social media.he loves his wife and please let him be

  • Chai February 20, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    This BN, you people can expose one oh, chai. Monitoring spirits everywia

  • Chai February 20, 2016 at 11:31 pm

    It’s quite sad though reading that in reality he is not walking the talk. Sad. Really sad. Whatever happened to faithful marriages?!

  • Post a comment