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Toke Makinwa’s Vlog: How Do You Spot a Stingy Guy?

BellaNaija.com

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For this episode of her Toke Moments Vlog, media personality Toke Makinwa gives pointers for identifying a stingy guy.

He might be rich but “Is that money in circulation?”

Check it out!

130 Comments

  1. Thatafricanchic

    September 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

    Here we go again! Man this, man that..Didn’t watch the video…And yes I clicked because I am bored at work!

    • hadassah

      September 18, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      I wonder what you want her to talk about though? watch TED talk if you’re looking for motivation. Toke moments is for fun… and men. lol

  2. darmie

    September 11, 2014 at 11:48 am

    yea Toke you are absolutely crazy and i love you. very funny vlog.well done

  3. deb

    September 11, 2014 at 11:50 am

    As far as I am concerned, every guy is stingy, even if he is generous, his friends and family members will start to poke nose so as a woman u should always know your way around a man finances, except and of course you don’t need his money.

    • Anon

      September 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      Every guy? Do you have the stats for you to generalise?

      Friends? What is their business and stake in his finances?

      Family? What if he’s from a rich home/comfortable home where everyone has their own wealth/income? Not all family members interfere. Broaden your horizon.

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      why should you NEED his money? why not have enough of your own to not worry about anybody’s ?

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      September 11, 2014 at 1:16 pm

      Okay, this is an interesting question – “shouldn’t you have enough of your own?” – because we were just having a discussion which touched on this at work yesterday. This oyibo chick I work with is in a serious relationship (i.e. ” been together since Uni and they now live together” kind of relationship) with an offshore Helicopter pilot and I don’t know if you know too much about the salary margins of offshore Heli pilots but they make serious money. Keep in mind that the average salaries are something like £50,000 – £80,000 per annum PLUS a daily risk-bonus of £1000 per each day of flying to-and-from the rig, among other benefits. Apparently, the justification is that they carry out a very risky role (which I agree with) and it’s an profession with limited people having the necessary skills (also agreed). Also bear in mind that the bobo is quite young and in his 20s so he’s living the good life wella.

      However, my babe wey dey for office here just joined us last year as a trainee and she no dey command serious salary for her field yet (she will in good time, sha). The boyfriend now happens to like expensive, spur-of-the-moment holidays and I’m talking ski-trips in the Swiss Alps at the drop of a hat, heading to Monte Carlo with the mates for a rowdy weekend, etc. He also likes expensive toys and somehow cornered the babe to go halves with him on a … chineke, wetin be the name of this car wey Jeep dey make? I don forget o, na one wide monster sha and it cost them like £45K to get it second-hand. Na im she sell her car come enter this gbese with am and we’re not just talking of paying for the car, we’re also talking of going halves on fuel (and the thing dey drink am), going halves on insurance, going halves on servicing, etc. Did I also tell you they got a dog together and are splitting the cost of taking care of the dog? Not a small, portable pooch oh, na German Shepherd so you know that beast will be chopping pounds of dog food.

      So, wetin bring this talk yesterday be say the bobo don convince am make dem travel go Dubai in a couple of weeks (another spur of the moment trip) and has insisted she should come even though she complained she’s broke. Na so she come dey complain to us say she go need to find money after the trip to pay him back, I said “shuo?? For trip wey he talk say make you join am go?”. Come take style ask am whether she’ll possibly be able to let him take the hit on this one and she said, “no” that he’s very keen on her not taking him for granted because apparently his last girlfriend tried to lay claim on half of his house (yes, she also pays him rent, etc).

      My babe dey struggle financially in this her relationship which is unequally weighted because the bobo just acts like money ain’t a thing while she dey enter deficit in her account every month – yes, she told us that last part as well. Apparently, her money isn’t enough so would you say that she doesn’t need a little bit of his money for the amount of spending he expects her to do?

      [Disclaimer – I’m just asking as academic debate oh, make una no conclude say I dey endorse runs 😀 ]

    • Iyke

      September 11, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      @ Mz Socially Awkward
      No she doesn’t NEED his money. If she likes those fantastic lifestyles, she should work hard or change jobs that pay better. The choice to GIVE of take care of her responsibilities is up to the dude. He is not obligated to do that.They are just dating…not married..even at that, so?
      Besides, lets not forget about personality types here – Dude may not be an affectionate person and as such will not have the motivation to take that kind of ‘pleasing’ responsibility. Perhaps too, she’s not in love with him because he is rich or affectionate, and as such, don’t really expect him to pay for her.
      The truth is that if you are making your own money, you would have no reason to expect another person to pay your bills/responsibilities. If ROMANCE is the reason for going into a relationship, then by all means, seek for an affectionate man/woman who by nature is a ‘GIVER’, Mind you, he/she may not necessarily be a good man/woman.
      Choices……You are responsible for your choices!

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      Firstly, I must applaud you for getting me to read and understand broken English! I didn’t know I was capable!

      In the case you mentioned of your colleague, she needs to kindly speak to her man. The same way he said his ex took advantage of him, is the same thing he is doing to his now present girlfriend (your colleague).
      He is being unfair,and she is allowing it. The more she allows it, the more the guy will believe that she is comfortable with the situation.
      she knows how much she is earning, and she knows what she can afford. There is nothing wrong for her to say “Sorry luv, I can’t afford that this month”, or even (jokingly) “babe, you know my money don’t reach as far as yours”. She can then propose something else or a new date….whether he understand or agrees is another thing.
      (Although, personally in this case i thing the guy is in the wrong and he also should be aware of her earnings. And if he desperately wants them to go to Dubai, then he should cover the cost)

      But my comment about a woman not ‘NEEDING’ a mans money is different.
      Before woman meets man, was she not doing her making, getting her nails done, going months without gifts?.!?…then now man comes on the scene and he is stingy for not doing those things for her?
      Or even those women that go out of their way to look for an already made man, why not spend all that time and energy and invest on themselves so that they are then able to do those things they would rather rely on a man to do for them.

    • Bleed Blue

      September 11, 2014 at 2:01 pm

      @MzSociallyAwkward…I was going to waka pass this post but my fingers were itching me after seeing your comment. Biko, which offshore pilot has been telling fibs over there?

      I’ve negotiated a North Sea helicopter service contract before, which included the pilots’ wages as part of the schedule of prices. Are you ready to hear the truth?

      SISTA, as at 2009 one pilot was getting 18k a month basic salary oh. Yes, you read it right. Eighteen thousand pounds sterling in 30 days.

      Das all. I dey go.

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      doing her hair**

      1
    • Orekelewa

      September 11, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      @MSA….me thinks the girl is not very wise. If you cannot afford to do something why are you killing yourself to do it and trying to satisfy someone who doesn’t care and is obviously selfish? I am sure the guy knows how much she earns but he just can’t be bothered. So please, she should stop lamenting o. She can always opt out of all these expensive things as I am sure the guy isn’t forcing her to do them with him.

    • Ewa

      September 11, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      @MZ SA, no she doesn’t need his money. She needs serious financial education. She’s in a relationship that is so skewed. She should please “live within her means”. I’m not against splitting the bills but when my income cannot pay for my expenses, then there is a problem. How can she be piling up debt at this young age? She’s not financially smart. If she was living alone, she wouldn’t be living that kind of way. Would it have been sensible to buy a dog, or buy that jeep or take those expensive holidays? Things she cannot afford? It’s unfortunate that she’s not deriving pleasure from all these things. I would have taken a walk if it was me.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      September 11, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      @Iyke, for realz, the babe isn’t even keen on that lavish lifestyle. I’m talking of someone who wants to be as independent as possible because her parents divorced when she was little and her mum, who didn’t have any marketable skills, really struggled to take care of them following the divorce. Her idea of a vacation is taking 3 months off unpaid leave from her day job so she can head over to Thailand to work as a diving instructor and live on the beach (she’s really big on marine animals/organisms/plants).

      I know he has a choice but honestly think her boyfriend is quite selfish and correspondingly stingy. Not because I expect him to pay her way but because he knows down to the zero what her earnings are and keeps making her spend exorbitantly. Although, I do agree with you – it’s her own responsibility to manage her finances and not allow love cloud good judgement.

      @MC, sorry for my myopic thinking in assuming everyone I speak to on BN understands pidgin! No vex and if you could read it, maybe you’re on the way to being proper Naija. 🙂 Dude is definitely taking advantage of my girl’s struggle to stay independent against the odds. And I agree with you, he should cover the cost of the flights & accommodation for the Dubai holiday at the very least, she can then take spending money and maybe even treat them both to a few lunches, dinners, etc.

      And I know that your comment mainly addressed the fact of women choosing not to do things for themselves in the name of a man suddenly appearing on the scene but wanted to just assess the “mata” of sometimes needing a man’s money from a different perspective (that word helpfully thrown in to expand your pidgin vocab 🙂 )

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      September 11, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      @Bleedblue, nne, don’t be “talking” such a startling revelation out loud like this in public. Chineke!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel heart palpitations coming on. £18K in 30 days?????? *calculating HRMC’s cut quickly…* So, even if na almost half paid in taxes, that’s still like £10K earned every 30 days??? With such juicy bonuses like £1K per day allowances, etc to also add on top? And you who was negotiating the contract, how did you see such a figure in writing and not return to ask God, “But Why??? Father, WHY? …. Chei and she wanted to set me up with one of his pilot friends ohhhhhh, na me come dey dodge…. Hahahahahahaha!!! Abeg make una no crucify me for that outburst.

      Oya, Iyke and MC, I take back my reasonable arguments made above and in the light of the evidence hereinbefore adduced, I hereby judge the bobo to be STINGY!!!!! Yes, VERY STINGY.

      @Ewa, I’ve used style to tell her. Even these other oyibo babes for office wey no dey upfront like that about other people’s lives don use style to also tell her. I really don’t get it (although, have to say that she’s enjoying having the dog… not so much the Cherokee, which she’s probably only driven 4 times in the last month as the bobo believes that since he put down more of the down payment, he should have more of the car… the thing tire us to hear)

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      September 11, 2014 at 2:57 pm

      (p.s: @Bleedblue, no be the pilot dey tell fibs oh, na the babe wey dey always proclaim “he earns more than double what I earn” and as I did my own rough calculation of the monthly salary for starting out newly in her position to be around £35K to £40K per annum, me come dey think say the bobo dey sit on top maybe £70K-£80K per annum. Not knowing that it was something more like £18K x 12 months. Chei! Still can’t get over it…)

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      Mz SA. LOL I think my friends will argue with you about me being on my way to becoming a proper Naija. But I shall continue to learn! THANKS!

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 3:38 pm

      Mz SA, I may have to take back my arguments as well! 18k per month! (in 2009)……Ermmmm why is your colleague still working!???

      p.s the guy sounds like a total d**khead!!!!! and she sounds like she cant think!
      She cant drive the car because she contributed ‘x’ amount!…..silly girl! why did she agree to such a deal.

    • Que

      September 11, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      @MSA…your girl NEEDS to grab her payslip and expenses calculations in hand, n do a sit down with mr man….draw im ear wellll….say all dat kain spendaholic behaviour go end! She needs to work her finances out…and at this point in her life, that training will serve her better than this relationship… If he wants to travel, make she show am road…. if she can afford one holiday a yr, then she can save towards that and they go together….. and if she tire to remain behind while he jives alone, she shld show him d door, n go rent a flat she can afford…. if it is true as you have analysed, then the dude gaan is wickked!….cos not assisting is one thing, but encouraging a loved one to live above their means for ur benefit is wicked… i wonder what he will do with his enemies… and pls let no one tell me he isnt benefitting…. he would probably make different choices if he had to foot the bills all allone…no matter how rich he is… cos money wey u work hard for, na still caution you go use carry am go market!

    • yellowb

      September 12, 2014 at 12:37 am

      I am really enjoying this discussion! Just because the woman is working does not mean she should be the breadwinner! And who doesn’t like gifts? There is NO ONE in this world who doesn’t appreciate gifts. Thoughtful gifts are a good way of expressing how you feel. Even if I was as rich as Bill Gates, if someone gave me a book i would appreciate it because it is thoughtful! And a lot of women love fashion so a new pair of shoes wouldn’t hurt. I feel like with all the talk of equality of sexes, we are trying to standardize ‘relationship rules’ and relationships are not supposed to be that way.

  4. blueberry

    September 11, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    LMAO…I am so sharing this.

  5. Ephi

    September 11, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Too much focus on money money money and we wonder why marriages and relationships are not lasting long these days. You meet a guy who is very “generous” and overlook things you shouldn’t overlook. Build your house on a strong foundation and when the storms come, it will stand. All this over focus on material stuff is not the way to go in my opinion.
    Rships should be give and take, not a chance to milk someone else dry.

    • naya

      September 11, 2014 at 12:13 pm

      I see!!

  6. Ephi

    September 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Toke, you are a pretty girl, imho you really do not need this much makeup. It detracts from rather than emphasize your beauty.

  7. ugo

    September 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Lol @ you have to be sure the money is in circulation.

  8. iyke

    September 11, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    Only in Nigeria! SMH. Disgusting, just downright disgusting.Let’s at least legalize prostitution and remove the hypocrisy.
    A smart, hardworking lady can buy all of that stupid gifts for herself. You don’t need a man to give you money to go do your hair. Where’s all the ‘I don’t need a man to validate me’ posturing? Gifts are poor substitutes for the so called love. A good woman knows that the greatest gift that man can give to her is the one that money can’t buy; unconditional devotion, as well as loyalty, gentleness, kindness, and understanding.
    Sorry, call me stingy, but I don’t trust women who accept material gifts which they don’t give back.

    • Bleed Blue

      September 11, 2014 at 2:07 pm

      Agreed Iyke. Endorsed and AGREED!

    • Kili

      September 11, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      Well except for the last part of your comment I was coming for your head.

    • Just me

      September 11, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      @Iyke, I will totally endorse your comment about ladies providing for themselves but hope the men won’t end up calling them Miss Independent., because that is what we get to hear these days, a lady who seems to provide and do stuffs for herself is seen as someone who cannot stay under the direction of a man, that is another topic we need to face another day.

    • Di

      September 11, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      No Sir, not only in Nigeria but everywhere in the world, A MAN IS A PROVIDER! Am sick of Nigerian men carelessly using the term gold-digger/money-seex exchange to relinquish their roles as a MAN. She isn’t saying open up for anyone that gives; I blame Toke for not clarifying that enough. She’s saying a man who never observes your needs but always in haste to get his needs from you is stingy/selfish.

      I’m sick of some men thinking that emotional fulfillment is all the need a woman has. Women have other needs and unfortunately money is needed to get those needs. Just because a man has a successful hardworking woman by his side doesn’t elude him of his responsibilities as a MAN. He should provide according to the weight of his pocket.

      If a woman becomes self-sufficient like you are advising, you, a Nigerian man will turn around in all your over-bloated insecurity and groan that you are not needed and don’t matter. No, a woman doesn’t need to sit and wait on a man for her hair-do but a man offering sometimes is a great gesture. Yes, gifts are not substitutes for love but they are appreciated gestures for love; IT IS ESSENTIAL.

      Any man who is tripping over this video is downright STINGY! I’m not saying women should accept money from every man, in fact I encourage women to take no financial gifts from any man unless it’s your father, male relative, husband, fiancé and committed boyfriend.

      Some Igbo men stingy as hell, was at the Umu Igbo youth conference and some buffoons want husband privilege while excepting the woman to be 100% independent. Yoruba men are more giving; don’t care what anyone says on that. I’ve gone out repeatedly with some and they paid for themselves and other ladies they had ZERO interest in; none of all that zombie look some Igbo men give you when expecting you to split the bills smh. Women are emotional and gullible and I’m sick of men taking advantage of that.

      MEN ARE PROVIDERS!!!!

      God didn’t create Eve and said “Uhm, lady you need a man”. I remember it being the other way round, so Nigerian men provide for that woman you need in your life, stop the bullshittting already!
      Peace.

    • Di

      September 11, 2014 at 7:13 pm

      Wives are only working harder in this century just to augment what their husbands are SUPPOSE to provide. They are not becoming more financially independent to TAKE OVER THEIR HUSBANDS/MEN’S ROLE AS A PROVIDER. Times are tough and the women are only helping out the men to provide for their children; NOT TO BECOME THE MEN BY PROVIDING 100%. If they did, where does the man fit in then?!
      A stingy boyfriend would eventually be a stingy father and then again, the woman is playing Miss Independent to herself and her kids.

    • Halia

      September 12, 2014 at 1:14 am

      (You’re) awesome!

    • Uc

      September 11, 2014 at 6:40 pm

      Hey Ikechukwu nwane,Truth be told dont take Toke’s vlog litrarily as they come but see beyound the underlaying message.When u are in love u just tend to give,protect and norish.D moment u start doing the over time in ur head as to whether she works hard to earn it u loose the sence of love in that relationship.
      I know as an ibo Man your pride is your family i.e provide and protect this things are not hard to do they just come naturally.
      By the way I work hard enuf to earn a good living try not to ask but i know an addition wont be a bad idea eaither.

    • yours truly

      September 11, 2014 at 11:04 pm

      @ iyke, I beg to disagree with you that -“Gifts are poor substitutes for the so called love”. Gifts are used to tell someone that you care and Love them. Don’t Men accept (in your words) material gifts? Relationships are about giving and sharing abeg. Like they say, give & take.

    • Colour Purple

      September 18, 2014 at 5:53 pm

      Mister Iyke, I do not agree with you. A man should provide for his woman not only in the ways you described but materially as well. My husband is not filthy rich but he makes sure I *shine*! I earn a tidy sum but he would still want to make sure he satisfies my needs within his means. My guy in summary just read songs of Solomon and learn how to woo a woman jare…..

  9. bruno

    September 11, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    HOW DO YOU SPOT A STINGY GIRL.

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      By the sounds of things, all the girls in Nigeria are stingy.
      they only know how to demand and accept. oh! and call men stingy

    • jules

      September 11, 2014 at 2:16 pm

      Its only a weak man that will ask a woman for money

    • Di

      September 11, 2014 at 6:56 pm

      Stop nagging like a thirsty hen and date only the girls you can provide for. Straight and simply.

      Peace.

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      One does n0t have to ask before another can be called “stingy”.
      a woman wants gifts….please don’t tell she actually asks for these (otherwise they aren’t gifts).
      Can a woman not give a man a gift?…..

    • Di

      September 11, 2014 at 6:53 pm

      You don’t date girls, so why ask? Are you considering a trip on the other side?! :))

  10. UZOAMAKA

    September 11, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    Cracked me at just Ghana or Cotonou here!
    Toke, thank you for saying those things that we won’t say. Please would you like to give a talk to the women’s group at Georgetown University in Washington DC? @bellanaija, please can you cordinate and forward this to Toke?

    • Cici

      September 11, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      Silly.

  11. Aphua

    September 11, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Luv u toke……….

  12. B

    September 11, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    oh wow! Toke really looks lovely in this pic! The make up is really soft & pretty, a far cry from her hard edgy make up. Pretty lady!

  13. Mystique

    September 11, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    Nonsense………..i just lost 10min of my life. i feel like jumping out the window right now. Tokeeeeeeee give it a rest. Someone pls stick a broom in my ears……crap on all levels.

    • Grown Woman

      September 11, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      were you forced to watch the video??Please let her continue entertaing some of us.Go to other BN post and read mxm some people really have the guts to crush someone’s hustle

  14. Gold digger plc

    September 11, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    I have the perfect answers for every requests and every problems my babes share with me, ”it is well” or”God will do it”. I hated that P-Square chop my money song, I’m sorry nobody is chopping my own money; Call me stingy, its cool, I’m just not spending, my babe would have to put a gun to my head before I part with money for that overrated, expensive, annoying, ugly, trashy hair extensions, babes the economy is tanking- weave your hair, our moms did and they were pretty;

    • SuShi

      September 11, 2014 at 3:48 pm

      #Preach#

    • a

      September 11, 2014 at 4:34 pm

      Hahaha! zing!

    • Kay

      September 12, 2014 at 7:55 am

      My friend chop knuckle abeg . I can buy gifts, as in gifts o. But if you start demanding for stuffs like extension and Gucci bags, erm, fine girl, get yourself a job or sugar daddy. Thank you very much.

    • Jules

      September 12, 2014 at 10:22 am

      If u had met here with weaved hair am sure u wont even look at her for one sec… u shld calculate wat a gal is wearing and check your pocket bfor rehearsing your pick-up lines.. #CLEAR ????

    • Iya

      September 12, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      Loooooool…’weave your hair’ #teamnachy

  15. tee babe

    September 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    You are so right!!!!! I love this!

  16. Gold digger plc

    September 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    Yes I know, what we have belongs to both of us- that applies to all you have, what I have is for me and me alone; You need money for loubs? babes my mum’s bride price in 1960 was less than 50 naira, how come you want to spend so much on shoes? bring the money, I’ll spend it for you; Your idea of us going on holiday is good, but I can’t afford it for now, boo can you pay for both of us? I will pay you back after we get married next year ending. (attack me all you want BN ladies, but its working for me, my babe is the happiest woman alive, she just borrowed me money to buy my second car because the first one has battery problems- she will be managing our trusted cab service until I pay her back).

    • yours truly

      September 11, 2014 at 11:28 pm

      Did I read you right? happiest woman? ; borrowed you money to buy a second car? ; pay back when you are married? ” oh well, I can tell that you have lost all sense of dignity. As much as I can’t stand all the Crap coming out of Toke’s mouth, I must say that your Girlfriend, fiancé, live in lover, partner or whatever she is to you is investing in you to marry her. Because, no sane woman wants to be in a relationship where the man is simply a free-loader. Mshew………….Oshisco

    • hadassah

      September 18, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      This guy is not real! unbelievable! LMAO

  17. Gold digger plc

    September 11, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    May God continue to bless all the generous and loving babes, God will guide and protect you for me, and to you Toke- I know your types, I can smell a stingy babe 5 Km away and you my friend is not my type. Thank God you are married, I will rather work and earn a living than to go mining for gold in Toke’s land.

  18. tee babe

    September 11, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    Toke go on girl! I enjoyed it!

  19. Que

    September 11, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    I can’t even watch… with how hectic your schedule supposedly is, one would think that your topics would be more meaningful and interestinng! biko d man issue is stale! Make una work hard and get better at being a giver, b4 u turn praying for a generous man into your calling! The same stingy person might be inspired by your giving nature!

  20. aisha

    September 11, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Fantastic……keep it up Toke.

  21. stephanie

    September 11, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Girl,u spoke my mind,I had a guy like that once.Everything is expensive to him and he has d money o,he was even stingy to himself I had to remind him that when he met me I wasn’t shabby o,hian

  22. Killah

    September 11, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    In other words – “HOW TO BE A GOLD DIGGER”

  23. Mystique

    September 11, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    @Que….thanks. *hugs*. @grown woman…….since when did having an opinion become a criminal offense? i maintain its a very shallow view on the matter. You love it, fine. To each his own so let me be. Madam voltron

  24. Mystique

    September 11, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    @thatafricanchic, thanks for your comment too. at least some people get it.

  25. Elizabeth

    September 11, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    I support this 100% Why? Because my dad used to be like that. When I was growing up, most of my clothes were bought by my mom or given to me by her friends, at a point I had only three pairs of footwear. My mother herself never bothered asking him for money to shop but whenever she asked him for money towards mine he would always start shouting. He wore clothes and shoes till they looked worn out and did that same “generator only comes on when I’m around” thing she talked about. So, unlike those who feel she’s being all abt materialism, there are those of us who’ve gone through this. Idk what came over him but he changed right as I was abt to get into University. So Toke, please go on.

    • Dee

      September 11, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      Thank you jare, I see it more in the light of life with a stingy person is hard. Even if you can always buy your own things what about the kids as she pointed out. I know a family where the curtains will be torn and the man will be like we can still manage it! The woman works hard but she already spends every dime and has no savings because he will never buy anything. Even food he’ll give 1 hour speech on how too much meat isn’t good just so he won’t have to drop money yet when the meat is in the pot he’ll be the one to finish it. What kind of life is that? So yes you should keep an eye out for such things while you a dating and not fall into the trap because at that moment you’re independent forgetting that you’ll need that man to at least pull his weight when you have a family.

    • ms lala

      September 11, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      omo your fada heard the gospel of aristo and realized if i dont spend on my babygirl one oga go collect am in the name of ARISTO…fear catch the guy na. Amen on your oldman spending ooo.

    • annie

      September 12, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      I wish MY dad had heard that gospel too… 😐

  26. lollly

    September 11, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    i had to stop mid way through the video. why is she emphasizing on closing your legs if he isnt giving you money to make your hair??? when a guy is lavish and free giving, is that a license for a lady to open legs?? na wa o.
    very shallow topic…Toke please do not lower the standard of women. in as much as our boyfriends/husbands are obligated to please us financially, it is not a ticket to ‘open leg”

  27. Trisy

    September 11, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    Dokun and that his Joro brother fall in this category, I am pretty sure. Awon Noise Makers. Ndi Noise,Loud things.

  28. bass

    September 11, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    So in other word if a guy can drop money u advise a girl to open her legs. Stingy ko stingy ni! So money for hand back for ground lol

  29. mj

    September 11, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    but your forhead sha lol love u still

  30. kim

    September 11, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    only STINGY MEN will disagree with this. you cannot give a girl money cause she is not your mother or your responsibility but you can invest your sperm into her anytime u want. why don’t u STINGY FOLKS go do your mothers.

    • MC

      September 11, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      why does there have to be an exchange?
      if you don’t want to sleep with a guy……DONT!
      Dont sleep with him because he paid for you to put fake hair on your head!…DONT!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      September 11, 2014 at 3:15 pm

      On this one, we’re in complete agreement.

    • BlueEyes

      September 11, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      I absolutely agree with you

    • are you a prostitute

      September 11, 2014 at 5:32 pm

      I will do a prostitute rather than you kim

  31. truth be told

    September 11, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    I don’t think any self-respecting woman who is financially independent should ask a man for money–let’s have some dignity naw ladies. However, there’s an adage in naija that says “shine ya eye before train go leave you o” (or something along those lines lol)…what’s of significance is that a healthy and successful relationship is a two-way yellow brick road leading (we pray) to a life-time commitment.
    Since time immemorial, heterosexual relationships have accepted and actually promoted a dichotomous exhibition of domesticity premised on gender…man brings bread, woman gives head (just saying 🙂 )
    aaannd sooo, when it comes to sex, most men would want to eat you raw, dry-dead! (excuse my vulgarity lol) and leave you with ham sandwiches and nothing else.
    Oooh, this is not misandry at its best o, it’s shine ya eye 101.
    I’m not saying do runs o but I’m saying love is a give and take thing, 1 person can’t be giving, giving like father Christmas and the other person will come and be taking taking like a child who stayed off the naughty list all year long.
    Shine ya eye ooh. See, naija men like to feel like they have earned your tender loving care, so don’t dull and cheapen yourself all in the name of love. Most men will be trying to cause a row, saying this is prostitution blah blah (yemu: wash)…have your standards, maintain your standards and shine ya eye. Do me, I do you, God no go vex. Let us all accept that if I wash and cook for my boyfriend, he should be kind enough to want to pamper me however he can abi are you a learner? dem write “hi, I be dullard” for your head? Do you support Dullington United FC? Haven’t we all seen that picture that went viral: cook him calabar soup in gold sauce and do dragon in the monkey shadow style for him and he’ll leave you for one girl that he has been buying credit for, toasting her like tomorrow no go ever come, buying her Brazilian and Chinese hair, sleeping outside her gate for 1 year straight before the girl gree let am enter the center. Fool yourself and think my girl Toke no make sense small. Ladies biko, take water, clean your eyes, shine your eyes…may the water wey drink neva pass us. Amen

    • Will

      September 11, 2014 at 2:54 pm

      Chai! doro comment for doro vlog

    • Princess

      September 11, 2014 at 10:03 pm

      OMG you are a smart girl.
      I have the same mentality. My boyfriend is not rich but he spoils me silly depending on what he can afford and I appreciate him so much by been there for him and making him happy in all aspect. If a man loves you, he will be there for you in so many ways, emotionally, financially and all that.

  32. benny

    September 11, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    so ermmmmmm ladiessssss… sistersss… just this week we were cheering isio for the “im not ur cook” writeup and here we are cheering toke for how to spot a stingy man? we are all gunning for equality right? it is not your money and he is not your master; he is ur boyfriend not bank credit card. you cant just accept and reject perceived gender roles when it is convenient. if we want to be accorded more respect than ur mothers, we should earn it; no selective justice.
    what are you bringin to the table in this relationship beside ur split legs and ur perceived beauty? we need to drop this false sense of entitlement and get ours. it is love not prostitution.
    you want to be accorded the same respect? get your own stuff. gifts are nice when necessary but please, throw out the capitalist idea of love and be fully independent.

  33. D'Mamma

    September 11, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    If you know someone that has a stingy father then you might be able to appreciate this topic. It might seem like it’s encouraging transactional relationships but it’s deeper than that. A stingy man will be stingy even to his own kids. Let’s leave it at that. But my own question is this: why do we always make it seem like sex is something that a man takes from a woman? I thought it was meant to be enjoyed by both parties. Or am I in some kinda denial? Someone help me out here please.

    • isiagboncha

      September 11, 2014 at 11:59 pm

      Cos a regular naija man is no good in bed.fake ohhs and ahhs to fulfill all righteousness.

  34. Bosede A

    September 11, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Hmmm…I dont believe in full dependency on a man or even half (Especially if u have a decent job and can afford to take good care of your needs). But where for example a woman is finding it difficult securing a job and has a partner who works and is able to support her temporarily, theres nothing wrong with reasonable dependency. But some men (eg my boyfriend) will tell u they are broke…Meanwhile every 2 weeks he’s ordering new stuff from Selfridges. He’s even asked me once “Am I your father?”. I am actualy terrified that Im going to marry this stingy man but in his mind he’s not stingy…He’s just a realist who believes in 50-50:-(

    • realist

      September 11, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Bosede, should should it be when a woman is not working or when either of the partners are not working?

      Why must it be the woman? If it was the man will you do same?
      AAbeg kmt

  35. sum1special

    September 11, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    I cant even stand a stingy man. Your future with a stingy man is definitely not secure.

  36. Cici

    September 11, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    I also had to stop this empty headed blabbing midway. She keeps talking about a man giving a girl money to sleep with her and yada yada yada. In other words, indirectly encouraging girls to sleep with or is it “open their legs” for men that give them money to maintain themselves and buy “hair”. This is the kind of women that corrupt young maturing girls of tomorrow to become glorified prostitutes and spread HIV AIDS inAfrica. This woman should be suppressed if she does not have anything to say but this mess.

    What kind of well meaning intellectual concerned with the well being of a society would sit down and encourage such talks that pollute the minds of young women? What is the point of this talk? A bash of stingy men, or is it a support of stupid men that spend their life earnings in buying “hair” for women in order to sleep with them, or is it an encouragement for women who want to wear “hair”like city “call girls” to go ahead and open legs for any Joe that gives them money for maintenance?

    Is this want I want to sit down at Georgetown to listen to, instead of a way to move Africa forward and help our communities to thrive?

    Stupid and nonsense.

    • chu girl

      September 12, 2014 at 8:59 am

      bless ur heart Cici………

    • Jayla

      September 18, 2014 at 11:19 pm

      Oh please, because man-woman issues suddenly stop when Africa’s infrastructure is developed? TEDx beckons…. get over yourself, ladies be letting their hair down here, okay??

      And… because Nigerian girls need Toke’s help in becoming corrupted? Please take a look at the morally upright leaders, both political and religious Nigeria has had over the last 30 odd years and then let’s have a conversation about how this vlog is what it takes for these “young Nigerian girls” to be indirectly encouraged to open their legs…..

  37. Ify

    September 11, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    Lmaooo! i think its a two way thing, bcos they both need each other in one way thing. so the both of them should be able to comply . its a matter of knowing the right thing to do.

  38. Lilly

    September 11, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Where is the love in this relationship. Abeg make them park well jor. she should be careful sha. I am sorry o but I don’t believe in this ‘halves’ thing. If you earn more than me u should gladly take charge of our huge expenses and vice versa. Does this guy love her?Does he know how much she earns for a living?Does he know she is struggling now? I believe the weaker party can assist,but come on it shouldn’t be mandatory.The poor girl dey suffer yet he is still coming up with spur of the moment trips. ‘Mz socially awkward’ pls tell your friend o marrying this guy (if she intends to in the future)is not entirely a good idea,unless he changes his ways.#justsayin

  39. Arin

    September 11, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    At mister gold digger plc. I think your girlfriend is partially slow, it is okay for her to part with her money but you can’t part with yours abi? Even if you become a billionaire tommorw you will still find reason not to give. And I know men like you, you borrow money from single sister finish to pay back another matter go enter. Any man and I repeat any man that can bold facely tell his girlfriend to borrow him money will never accord my respect. Let my spirit lead me to give it to you without asking biko. Save your face biko.

  40. AVID BlOG READER

    September 11, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    Urm Toke? Are you insinuating that men must pay to have sex with their partners? This is just setting women 100 years behind and does nothing for our dignity, I all for every one pulling their weight in a relationship both financially and otherwise! Why must it be the on a man to spend spend spend?

  41. Bellemoizelle

    September 11, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    My father stingy die!!!!he didn’t pay my school fees 4rm my Primary school to University my mom did all that.. The only time he paid was for diploma and he even demanded 4 the original copy of the receipt oooo,which I didnt give him cos I had to have it with,I gats do photocopy 4 d baba ooo and that was the end! My parents are divorced and I have stopped talking to him self cos all he does is spite me or my mom like I made them divorce oooo,the man matter tyre me ooo,very stingy man and he can afford it cos am the only child of both of them(mom&dad) then another from his other marriage so we are just two and he never did anything for me.I have a stingy father I will not marry a stingy man but I really don’t ask but a guy should be able to spoil his babe naaaa haba! La vie est belle………………………..

    • benny

      September 11, 2014 at 5:06 pm

      we are beginning to mix stingy and irresponsible up. stingy is not paying for that vacation or nice clothes you know you can afford. stingy is calculating the pocket money dime for dime before giving it. refusing to pay ur kid’s fees is irresponsibility

    • Dee

      September 11, 2014 at 5:20 pm

      What about a case where a man who earns millions says a school where the fees is N150,000 per annum is too high so the wife should pay it or take the child to public school. Now to him it isn’t irresponsibility since the child can attend public school however it’s the height of stinginess.

    • BlueEyes

      September 11, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      Save for your mothers independency, how would u have survived? If she was the mother who believed in depending on your father, how u for get mouth today? And finally, she has divorced him, pls take a page from your mothers book, because in the end she was self sufficient and u came out well.

  42. me1

    September 11, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Hey..stop blabbing s**t. Any girl taking any of this advice is just setting herself up. On a flip side, maybe its the make-up, this girl is gradually turning/looking like a barbie doll..

  43. are you a prostitute

    September 11, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    for a long while on BN, it’s been story upon stories of ladies trying to portray and arguing for equality with men.

    Coming to money, they have a different philosophy.
    why must you depend on his money if you are equal to him? from isios write up, the lady mustn’t do Nada except there is a benefit somewhere.

    forget that thing, God punish devil, will take a prostitute over such girl. shey you all now see why wayward girls are getting married every weekend why the likes of you on BN keep buying their aso Ebi.

    let me be plain, if I must drop money to get your hair done, get undies, sleep with me, etc, you are not different from a prostitute. in fact a prostitute is better cos there is no drama. just pay for the services and bye bye

    I sorry for this generation of men cos of the kind of girls we have today.

    if not for moral and religious values, ladies listen and listen again, I prefer prostitutes any day anytime. they give you what you want very well, no drama, no trying to equate themselves……

    most of you are confused. you don’t even know what you want out of life.

    • Ewa

      September 11, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      They also give you HIV/AIDS, STD’s and all kinds of diseases.

    • are you a prostitute?

      September 11, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      Thought you are learned. If at this age you don’t know about different forms of protection, then you are a gonna.

      BTW you think that your bf can’t transmit that to you?

      Sidon there

  44. labelle

    September 11, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    mr gold digger plc i found your comment quite hilarious and embarassing to say least. so its ok to collect money from your babe but you wont spend on her. you are indeed a gold digger. i feel sorry for that your babe

  45. Ms. Sane

    September 11, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    One day it’s about women empowerment or independence, and the next, it’s about how to shine your eyes or snag a rich bobo who will spend money on you. Talk about conflicting messages. Abeg, I can’t take these people seriously anymore.

    Saya!

  46. oge

    September 11, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    A lady that depends on a man is worse than an infidel. It means you are waste to your parents that sponsored your education. The man you are depending on has one head like you. A woman that depends on a man is just a prostitute with class. Simple.

  47. Amaka3

    September 11, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    Hmmmm m I don’t joke with my hard earn grace of God money with any man n am not sorry abt it … N if any man ask me for money forget it u r gone … Let me give u without u asking me with ur lazy mouth … Even if d man is my hubby , I can give for my kids etc but not give u money for something directly to d man , no way n mind u I will not ask man for money anyways I got myself together …

  48. MO

    September 11, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    Nice Topic but there are some things that need to be thot of and considered cos all fingers are not equal.The guy that says eya pele, have you thot about if he has or not? I think the subject of this video should be “how to know a well to do guy that is stingy”

  49. Me Now

    September 11, 2014 at 8:52 pm

    I think it’s really important to know what your partners attitude to money is. This goes for both men and women. I know a family where the mother was the main breadwinner. She made way more coin than her husband. She was constantly clad in the latest designer clothes and bags while her kids looked haggard. Her family was struggling and if those kids had to tell you that was their mom you would not believe them..Seriously I could never understand her attitude. She lived in a beautiful house in Abuja(where her job was), while her family squashed themselves into a bq in lagos. Her husband complained all the time because business had not been good for years for him and he had no support from his wife.

    So while I by no means endorse the runs life (so cynical and depressing) please just know what you are getting yourself into.

  50. chichi

    September 11, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    @truth be told…LOL..you are hilarious girl..You are so right though..Have standards and maintain them ladies…This is my take on this..Keep your money and imma keep mine and i sure as hell aint giving you my body….All i want is a mental connection..Im dating you cos i wanna figure out if you’d make an amazing husband and father to my kids.. I just feel like sex and money/gifts are huge distractions…I would accept your gifts once im sure of where we are headed..Otherwise, just keep it..I dont wanna feel like i owe a guy anything..That being said, i dont want a stingy husband. lol.. You dont have to ask a guy for money to figure out if he is stingy or not.. Watch the way he takes care of himself or family…He should express his desire to spoil you or at least offer to help you out once in a while and you dont have to say yes all the time..My dad swears he married my m0m cos she was so stubborn. Her parents didnt have much and my dad used to come calling with gifts and she would send him away…All she wanted was someone she could connect with and dad finally got the memo and actually started communicating. But hey, her saying no to his gifts kept him interested. So ladies, you were surviving before this guy came along, so learn to continue surviving… No need to act a fool once you land a guy with money..,Have some class…Real men appreciate that.
    You aint gotta love me but you WILL respect me!

  51. Tincan

    September 11, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Of all the comments here, the only one that registered in my brain is the 18k/month pilot salary. *gulp* I wonder if it’s too late to retrain…

  52. fygo

    September 11, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    Geeez..hin be ya fada! Una berra park wella!

  53. u go girl!

    September 12, 2014 at 1:56 am

    I luv her!!!!

  54. Iris

    September 12, 2014 at 4:53 am

    This has nothing to do with her vlogs which I don’t watch but what the hell is up with her nose in this picture? Contouring gone wrong or what? We are just extreme with makeup. AH!

  55. Kay

    September 12, 2014 at 8:15 am

    No wonder maje always says on Instagram that the thing he looks forward to everyday is his basket ball game with the boys. Ha!! I now understand

    • Jayla

      September 18, 2014 at 11:25 pm

      Very dumb comment, key! what’s your other half (if you’ve got one) saying on instagram? That’s what you need to be concerned about, no?

  56. Jlagranche

    September 12, 2014 at 8:19 am

    I believe when a man truly loves you, he’l do everytin in he’z power to make he’z woman comfortable. Generally women r supoz to b loved and cared for. If my husband/boyfriend is a free giver then I will b also. A relationship is 50/50. But to spot that family man, is that which is not afraid to assume responsibility.

  57. spoonfullofsugar

    September 12, 2014 at 10:43 am

    I want to be rich with a richer and generous boyfriend/husband..Its a mans duty to provide for his woman.

  58. Na me

    September 12, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    This topic is attracting so many comments. Let me ask this question. Why do men have a problem with giving their girlfriends money but see nothing wrong with demanding sex from her? They even expect their girlfriend to cook, wash and clean for them in love’s name, but don’t want to spend their money in love’s name. Some men can be selfish. They only want to keep receiving, but give nothing back in return. You want to date me. Fine. You don’t want to spend your money. Fine. Don’t turn me into an ekaette. Not fine. Don’t demand sex from me. Not fine. And you hear them complaining of how you don’t love them and how sex will cement the relationship and make you both close. Truth is, if a man truly loves a woman. He may or may not want sex, but it doesn’t stop him from caring for her financially. If he refuses to spend his money, but expect you to sleep, cook, wash, clean for him like a sex slave n house help. Girl, run cos he doesn’t love you. He is only using you, period!
    The most annoying is girl friends spending stupidly on a guy they don’t know his true intention about them. Like the girls spending on my player cousin. Be sensible!

  59. Yve

    September 12, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    At the end of the day its not about money, sex, spending etc. Its about genuine love, respect, how one person treats the other. Its that simple. really.

  60. BeingMe

    September 12, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    Well…. I’ve read some very exciting arguments, interesting points & some dumb comments…. lol
    In my opinion, think its the man’s responsibility to take care and meet the needs of his girlfriend/wife and women are to support which is why men are the head and women the neck (like its rightly said).
    I also think its wrong for a man to demand sex from his girlfriend before giving her what she needs or a girl sleeping with her boyfriend because of what she needs from him (Like some do).

    Also, I think the only time a Man should complain about his girlfriend making demands (if he must complain) is if his girlfriend asks for virtually everything she needs and everyday but if its once in a while request then you have absolutely nothing to complain about.

    My boyfriend gives me anything / everything i ask for when without even questioning because i do not make irrelevant requests and i do not hesitate to support him the little way i can e.g paying for our lunch, paying for our shopping (if it isn’t too high..lol), paying taxi fare when he isn’t driving, etc it isn’t like he lets me do it, i actually insist on doing it because i feel its my responsibility to support the little way i can and because he doesn’t like hurting me, he’ll quietly let me pay. The interesting part is, we’ve never had sex so don’t think he’s doing all of that because he’s having sex with me.

    The thing is, we all have diff views and opinions about life generally but then its important we do what’s right… its all about your level of intellect and understanding between partners.

    • Tolu

      September 14, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      Tell that your bfreind to put a ring on it asap else am coming for you and will snatch you from him. We men love women that support and build us too not giving out always and not even any support from our so called help meet.

  61. Abz

    September 12, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    I thank God when it comes to issues like this, i and my gf understand each other very well. We both spend on each other and we are happy abt it. Personally i think both parties should be able to take up the responsibility of spending on each other, but d man can take up a little bit more, being the man. Why guys can’t be bothered is because of this equality shit. Ladies who fight for equality should understand that Men and Women have differrent roles to play. And as for the sex thing, i see sex as something both parties are meant to enjoy, it doesn’t take a lot to satisfy a guy in bed, so ladies if you are not enjoying the sex, and you don’t speak out, you are the one loosing big time.

  62. Mz Socially Awkward...

    September 13, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    @orekelewa, [very sorry oh, completely missed your response earlier on]… My dear, sometimes you can be too close to a situation to see that things aren’t in your best interest. That’s how I can describe the babe’s matter.

    @ Que & MC agreed! And she wan buy her own house oh. And the bobo KNOWS this … Like I said, e dey tire us wey dey office to hear…

    • Tolu

      September 14, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      MSA seen like you are having cool here some of us are looking for job at least got a masters in mechatronics eng. and some hands on experience in naija before coming here doing real project but its been tough here no job what do you advice am not saying I need the £80K job like your friend’s boo just something decent not working presently [email protected] my mail

    • Ivy

      September 15, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Me too o!

  63. Ivy

    September 15, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Lol! A friend of mine borrowed her bf 200k to pay for his new car……of course she could not tell me till the deed was done. To say i was mad is a huge understatement…..i just could not believe how she would borrow a guy that could not pay for 3d movie or pay for cab fare at 10p.m, such an amount of money. My brother told me “never borrow money you cannot afford to let go”. Then they started having issues…lmao. Stupid issues sef o! Finally broke up meanwhile the money still dey hin hand o! Took a whole lot b4 he finally paid her back.

  64. Pushie

    September 15, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Toke is not just funny but hilarious. Had a good laugh watching this video and this is my first.

  65. Temi

    September 15, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    I don’t understand you, its you preaching gender equity, next its transactional relationships then you came to a stingy guy thing where are those independent and strong woman stuff you bluff about. I don’t really know what you stand for its like you just want to keep rambling plus can you lets talk about us women…. enough of this men stuff abeg

  66. Yinks

    September 16, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    This absolutely sick and dumb coming from this so called Toke Makinwa( still her father’s name abi)?? still wondering what’s inspirational about this stupid video you did…and im shocked at your “content”…is this an encouragement for the ladies to practice corporate prostitution?? “when you said,a lady should not open her legs” unless he’s ready to show her the money…..is thids the way to find how stingy a man is? Any man dating should know ,that it is naturally responsibility to attend to the needs of his lady anyway, except something is wrong with the man…but not in this your context aunty wa…..or was that how you found the one you got married too???i listen to you and Nanya most mornings when i’m on my way to the office and i hear you go all out with your sharp words and i wonder what your dispositions would look like….

  67. djsholi

    September 29, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    Now Toke’s wedding has ended…you see what such life styles lead to? Girls don’t follow her.

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